Xander was sitting in a comfortable chair, in front of a roaring fire. The man sitting oposite him was...brooding. He made Angel look like the life and soul of the party. It still made Xander feel strange. Tony Harris wasn't his father?
Jessica had been involved with a rich European businessman. Tall, dark, handsome. Not to mention cultured and exotic.
He took a drink of his brandy.
"You gonna say something, big brother?"
The brooding man looked up, startled out of his reverie.
"Must you call me that? Really, I was as shocked as you to learn I had a step-brother."
"I don't mind any of that. Your brooding just reminds me of Deadboy."
"Who?"
"Angel.
"Angelus? I sincerely hoped he was dust. Hadn't heard about him in a century. Spike was bad enough. As if Father would be foolish enough to lend money to an Englishman."
"Speaking of the Old Man, what's up with him? Isn't he supposed to return once every century and try and end the world?"
"He rises once a century, but there is no obligation to cause an Apocalypse, no."
"So he goes to Sunnydale of all places, then. Just thinking of hi putting the moves on my mom is enough to give me the Wiggins."
The other occupant of the room laughed. His rich, deep voice rang out clearly.
"In any case, stop calling me big brother. My name is Adrian. I insist you call me it, unless you want me to call you Alex, or Alexander?"
"Message recieved, loud and clear Adrian. No need to get nasty about it."
They shared a smile at that. Xander's dislike for his full name was well known in the house they were staying in.
A bat flew past, squeaking a greeting to the two males. They waved back.
"I meant to ask, how do all these beasts happen to wander around? Does Dad like pets that much?"
"They are more like guard dogs. Not very good ones at that, let me tell you."
"Wasn't there any trouble after your little rebellion back in the 19th Century?"
"Well, as long as Father didn't try to rule the world or whatever, I had no problem. I think I surprised him by standing up for the humans. He had to reevaluate some of his philosophies."
"I think, after the stunt the locals pulled with Ms. Lisa, he had a justifiable beef. Not to the extent of ending the world, but a little torture, maybe."
"My Mother expressly stated that we were to do no harm to the Humans. Theirs is already a hard lot."
"Having been one for most of my life, I can attest to that."
They sat i more companionable silenc, now that the brooding was finished.
"Does he have any problems with dating members of the white hats?"
"I was involved with both Sonia Belmont and Maria Renard. They had been rather instrumental in killing him a time or two. I should think your Slayer should be little concern to him."
"Yeah, it's not like she could actually hurt him anyway. He's what, a 1000 now?"
"There or something like it. I myself am 550 now. You are the baby of the family, not even 2 decades to your name."
"Hey, blame that on Pop's roving eye."
"I have his eye in a box somewhere around here. Puts up Int by 10."
"That falls into the category of Too Much Info, Adrian."
There was a creak as the door was opened. Then their father walked in, followed by his Business Advisor, ie Death.
"How nice to see you boys getting along."
"Dad, I'm still having trouble dealing with this new development. I mean, first Scooby of the Slayer, killer of Vampires et cetera, is Son of the Prince of Darkness?"
"Hey! Christopher Lee looked nothing like me. Who the Hell was Van Hellsing anyway? At least the Belmonts arfe always young and Handsome, or if female, scantily clad and nubile. No, in the cinema I have to end up getting kiled by Peter Bloody Cushing."
"I'll have you know, Father, that if it weren't for the fact you were evil, most of the Belmont Women would have been willing to give you a chance to stake them."
Adrian smirked wickedly at his double entendre. Xander blushed, then covered his face woith his hands.
Their Father sputtered with frustration, before blownin his top.
"Adrian Fahrenheights Tepes! I do not engage in promiscuous sexual encounters with Members of the Belmont Family!"
Death interjected with his famous sarcasm.
"No, after all, that's Alucard's job."
Vlad laughed at that one. Then he noticed what Xander was drinking.
"Son, are you drinking my Brandy again?"
Xander looked around guiltily before shrugging his shoulders.
"Would you believe, No?"
Vlad Tepes was generally an even tempered man. Relatively speaking. on a scale of 1 being Hitler and 10 being the Devil himself, Vlad was an 7.
"Oh, and what was the deal with that Shaft guy?"
"I don't know. I much prefer Richard Roundtree."
"Just talkin' bout Shaft!"
Dracula slapped himself in the face, then turned and walked out of the room. His comments could be heard floating back along the polished marble hallways.
"I blame his Mother. I never had such trouble when Adrian was a boy. Bloody Teenagers."
Death floated along dutifully behind him.
"Hey, Adrian. Can I borrow your car?"
Alucard looked at him suspiciously.
"Why?"
"I have a date with my Slayer tonight. I was kinda hoping to show up in that Pontiac Firebird of your's."
"Very well then. But if you scratch the paint, I will feed you to Cerberus one limb at a time."
"Understood."
He pulled up beside outside the Bronze, Slayer sitting beside him.
"Y'know Xan, I am so glad you turned out to be a Dhampir. You lookway hotter in leather than Angel ever did."
"Thanks Sweetie. It was apresent from Dad. He said capes were too outdated, so he had a Twilight Cape turned into a Twilight Trenchcoat. Best Birthday present ever."
"Maybe it's a family thing, but you're Dad and Brother are pretty much Hotties too. At least, so I'm told."
"Of Course. How could you doubt the power of the Xan-man? Even those pitiful buffoons were cool once I gave them a few fashion tips. Hawaian Shirts being at the top of the list."
She put her hand to her mouth in order to stem the unladylike laughter that was attempting to break free.
"That was a joke right?"
"Well Duh! Are you colour-blind, Honey?"
"No, just too polite to call you on those crimes agaist humanity."