"Okay, once more. Where are we going?" Homer asked as he piloted the large RV away from Springfield.
"To Sunnydale," Buffy replied.
"And why are you and the old British guy in the car?"
"Because we're going to save the world," Willow replied.
"And why is Marge here?" Homer asked again.
"I wanted to help," Marge said.
"And why am I here?"
"Because you insisted on all of us coming," Giles said stiffly.
"Why are the kids here?" Homer continued.
"Because we couldn't find Grandpa to sit for them," said Marge.
"Why is Grandpa here?"
"Because Jasper didn't want to come by himself!" Grandpa said.
"Why is Flanders here?"
"Because you stole my RV to transport-adidly everyone, since Marge wouldn't fly," Ned answered,
"Huh, fair enough," said Homer, thankfully lapsing into silence.
In the back, Grandpa Simpson turned to Buffy. "Hello, beautiful."
Buffy looked at him disgustedly, "In your dreams."
"We'll see about that!" said Grandpa Simpson. He threw his head back and was asleep with in 5 seconds. He then mumbled quietly, in his sleep, "Hello, beautiful."
Buffy shuddered, then relaxed as Xander gave her a hug. Turning to face him, she smiled her thanks.
In the back, Willow and Giles looked at each other, wondering how they had fallen into this debacle in the making.
"Why couldn't we have flown first, and let them catch us up?" Willow asked Giles quietly, trying to avoid the attention of the RV full of people.
Before Giles could reply, Maggie crawled up to Willow and opened her arms, looking up pleadingly. Willow smiled and lifted the baby up.
"Hey, Maggie" she said, to which the baby giggled, sucked her pacifier and then promptly fell asleep on her shoulder, leaving Willow to rock her gently.
Giles smiled at his charge, stretched his legs as far as possible and tried to relax.
"So, do you do this sort of thing often?" Xander asked Lisa, who seemed to have no problem with the idea of helping to face down evil demons.
"Oh, sure, all the time. Dad often pulls us off on crazy adventures. It's kinda fun, and we learn a lot more than we would in school."
"Yeah," Bart piped up, "Homer teaches us all kinda useful real world stuff. How to lie, cheat, steal, how to fight dirty."
"Bart!" Homer growled from the front.
Bart just grinned cheerfully, not apologising in the slightest.
"How long is it going to take to drive to Sunnydale?" Buffy asked. "I don't even know where we are."
"Oh," said Lisa, "it is kinda vague isn't it? But we gave you enough clues, you should be able to figure it all out."
"What the hell is that?" Xander interrupted, looking out the window. A 100 ft. high carving dominated the face of a nearby mountain.
"That's Mount Carlmore," Lenny said, "I carved it one summer."
"What did Carl think?"
"You know, we've never discussed it."
With the 'You are now leaving Springfield' sign long behind them, they all gradually quieted down and looked out at the scenery.
In the front, Homer was struggling with a map, whilst attempting to drive.
"North...south...aw, nuts to this! I'm going to take a shortcut."
"Homer, no," Marge whined. "You're going to get lost."
Homer smiled encouragingly. "Trust me, Marge. With today's modern cars, you can't get lost, what with all the silicon chips and such."
As they finally arrived at their destination, Homer turned to the RV full of people. "All right, we're here. Now let us never speak of the shortcut again."
The others nodded, gratefully disembarking and stretching their legs.
Xander went up to Homer, who was holding a small rock while looking around intently.
"What's with the rock, Homer?" Xander asked the balding, middle aged white guy.
"It's my anti-tiger rock. I was just wondering if it works on demons."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, this rock scares away tigers," Homer explained carefully, as if dealing with an idiot.
"How does it do that?" Xander asked, wondering if he really wanted to know.
"Look," Homer said, holding the rock high. "The rock is here, yet I see no tigers," he exclaimed triumphantly.
Xander looked stunned. He'd never come across such specious reasoning before; not even his own came close to this guys ability.
"Pay attention, everyone," Marge shouted. "We have to sort out accommodations. We'll get rooms at that motel."
"I can put up a couple of people," Xander announced. "My folks are away at the moment."
Bart and Lisa looked at each other for a second, sibling communication taking place at the speed of thought, then turned together and shouted, "We're staying with Xander, Mom."
Xander shrugged, "'k".
Marge frowned, but before she could voice her worries, Buffy said, "It's OK, Mrs Simpson. I'm staying at Xander's place as well. We'll look after Bart and Lisa for now."
Bart and Lisa jumped into the air and high fived each other, "Way to go."
Xander and Buffy laughed.
The four of them walked away quickly, leaving Giles and Willow with the task of organising the rest of the accommodations with Marge.
Xander looked at Buffy. "You're staying with me?"
"Yep," Buffy said cheerfully, "don't fancy trying to explain to mom why we have so many out of town guests, why we're back early and why I'm no longer as broody as I was."
"You're no longer broody?" Xander asked, trying to clarify things a little.
"Nope. Now, no more questions or you won't get to see me in just the shirt I'm going to borrow from you to sleep in."
Xander shut up immediately, distracted by the image of Buffy's naked legs appearing out of the bottom of one of his shirts. He was so distracted he didn't notice the lamp post in front of him.
He did finally notice the lamppost, however, when he walked into it. He bounced off and landed on the floor painfully.
Making a serious attempt to hide their amusement, Buffy, Lisa and Bart helped Xander up.
After returning to his feet, Xander made a joke about the collision, and then walked with Bart and Lisa , talking to them.
Buffy watched the way Xander handled the 11 and 8yr olds, and was impressed. She realised she had never seen him interact with children before. It was certainly another thing in his favour. < Of course, the fact that even the idea of him seeing my legs can make him go so completely blank is another good thing on the Xander shaped front, > she thought to herself.
They arrived at Xander's parent's house, and entered, turning the TV on low in the corner.
"What do you two want to eat?" Xander asked, realizing that it was lunch time. They planned to meet back up with the others at dusk, so Xander was planning the two basic staples: food and sleep.
"How about a Krusty Burger with cheese, fries and a Krusty partially gelatinated non-dairy gum-based beverage?" Bart said excitedly.
"Wrm, what?" Buffy asked, looking confused at Xander.
"You know," Lisa said, "Krusty Burger restaurant."
"Ahh," Xander said, clearly floundering, "we don't have them here, we have McDonalds though,"
"Mc what?" Bart asked.
"McDonalds, they have over three thousand restaurants in this state alone."
"Oh, must have sprung up over night. Ok, that will do."
Buffy turned to Xander. "If I can borrow your car, I'll go get the food."
Xander wavered, not really wanting to let Buffy loose in his Uncle Rory's car.
"Top button undone," Buffy offered.
Xander blinked, then realised what she meant. The temptation was huge, it was only a car, after all, and it was surprising that it still went, after everything he had put it through. Manufactures didn't normally recommend using their vehicles as ramming devices, especially against the undead.
Buffy watched the emotions playing across Xander's face. She knew she was about to win, so she played her trump card.
She moved her head towards his ear, and whispered as sexily as she could, "Top two buttons."
Xander gave in, instantly. His capitulation was total, his resistance less than that of an Italian facing an advancing German army. He handed over the keys wordlessly.
Buffy flashed a grin at him, took them and ran out before he could change his mind.
She started the car, placed it in reverse and pulled out of the driveway.
If Xander had been watching, he may well have regretted allowing his hormones to make the decision for him. With scant attention to traffic, Buffy drove off, whistling happily to herself.
Buffy was having a lot of fun at the moment. While their current relationship was light hearted, she knew that at some stage it would have to change. At the moment, she could get away with some innocent flirting and promises of visible flesh. The problem was, despite him playing along, Xander wasn't an immature teenager anymore, and neither was she.
They had both had memorable first times; unfortunately, they were not good memories.
Buffy's first time had ended with her boyfriend turning into a psychotic killer, who had then gone on a murderous rampage.
Xander's first time had ended similarly; his partner had tried to choke him to death.
She knew that she had two choices. The first was to cool it with Xander quickly, before it got to out of hand, and she did something she'd regret. The second was to give Xander a chance.
Buffy drove the car, carelessly, into the McDonald's drive-thru. Ordering enough for the four of them, she paid for the food and started to drive back.
Xander was cute. That was the first good thing. He was good under pressure and understood about her night job. That was really important, since she didn't fancy ever having to try and explain why she hardly ever went to bed before 3am, and why she liked to hang out in cemeteries, to a prospective partner.
His behaviour, when helping Kang and Kudos, had been both intriguing and confusing. She still had to talk to him about that, but it could wait. The fact that he was so cool about it, and saved the world almost single-handedly earned him a lot of brownie points.
So, when she thought about it logically, Buffy realised it wasn't really a difficult decision. She was single, he was single and she knew that he was either in love with her, or very close. She cared about him, too, in a way that left the future open for growth.
Buffy made her decision. She would continue to flirt, maybe show a little leg, and let the future take care of itself.
That made, Buffy wondered about Xander's kissing ability, as she went straight through a stop sign, ignored a red light and eventually pulled up outside Xander's house.
She grabbed the food and milkshakes, using Slayer grace to balance then all carefully, before entering the house.
Xander, Lisa and Bart were all sitting casually on the couch. Xander was sitting in the middle, with the other two on each side. They were watching an old episode of Batman, with Bart making comparisons between it and a comic book character called Radio-active man.
As Buffy watched unnoticed from the door, Bart and Xander stood. They turned to face Lisa, and started to Boogie. Xander was doing the BatDance, something Buffy remembered from the camp comic book tv show of the sixties, while Bart was doing something very similar.
Buffy couldn't help laughing out loud, disturbing the two dancers. They both froze, looking embarrassed.
"Er. Hey Buff, didn't hear you come in." Xander said, recovering first.
Buffy held up the bags and announced, "I have food."
Willow was shocked. The was no other word for it. She sat and watched as the smallest Simpson knelt on the cabinet. In a few brief movements, Maggie first shed her blue bodysuit. She removed her diaper, folding it carefully, then wiped herself. She added a liberal spraying of talcum powder, then pulled a fresh diaper out, wrapped herself in it and dressed herself again.
Willow had always thought that she had been a genius, a precocious intellect. She was now convinced that Maggie would be even more clever than she was.
She was looking after Maggie for the afternoon. Marge and Homer had left to have a nap in their motel room, although from the amount of room service Homer had ordered, she didn't think that he would be getting much sleep.
Willow walked over and picked up Maggie, cooing gently to her.
As Maggie went to sleep on her shoulder, Willow sat down on the couch and rocked her gently. She missed Oz, she hadn't seen her boyfriend in nearly two weeks. He had left to go on tour with his band, and wasn't due back to next week.
As uncomfortable as it was for her to admit, she missed him physically. She missed their kissing, their hugging, and even what they had gotten up to in the back of Oz's van. She was starting to feel really frustrated, and perhaps a little jealous as well. She frowned possessively, < If some skank tries to get her claws into him, I'll chase her down and turn her skin bright green, > she thought to herself, smiling a little.
Giles settled down into his arm chair and sighed with relief. His room was totally silent. He slowly moved the cup in his hand to his lips, inhaling the aroma of strong Earl Grey tea. He sipped carefully, enjoying the smooth taste.
He grunted with pleasure, < These damn colonials don't know what they are missing, with their damn instant coffee, > Giles said to himself. The simple pleasures of life where what he missed most from back home.
He slid his feet up on the table in front of him, and closed his eyes.
Only to open them again as someone began a frantic pounding on his door. He stood, a frown on his face and opened the door carefully. The door was forcefully pushed out of his hands, as a large man with bright green hair exploded in to the room.
"Hey, hey," he said, smiling wildly, "I was passing through, on tour, and decided to help out." Finishing his statement, he produced a cream pie from nowhere, and hit Giles in the face with it.
Giles stood there, shocked. He had no idea how to handle this barbarian who had invaded his private sanctum.
Grabbing a nearby towel, the bespectacled librarian cleaned his face carefully.
He removed his glasses and cleaned them, carefully removing all traces of cream. A few hundred questions ran through his mind, most of which were instantly discarded.
"How can you help?" Giles asked finally, having deduced that the clown was from Springfield, and had probably seen Kang and Kudos.
Krusty grinned. "You think that I carried that custard pie all the way here?" he asked, visibly amused.
Giles frowned. "Excuse me?"
Krusty grinned and cartwheeled around the room, finishing directly in front of Giles. Suddenly, another pie appeared in his hand. Before Giles could react, the pie turned into a stake, and suddenly Krusty looked dangerous. The lights seemed to dim around the clown's face, creating dangerous looking shadows. "Remember, Ripper, not everything is what it seems."
Giles' frown intensified as he looked carefully at the person in front of him. He stared under the makeup, looking at the man beneath.
"Herschel Shmoikel?" he asked softly, suddenly recognising him.
The clown nodded, and was suddenly embraced in a hug.
"How have you been? It's been too many years," Giles exclaimed.
"I ended up in Springfield, as well," the clown explained. "Willie told me what was going on, and I've been helping out ever since."
"How do you ever manage to survive with them?" Giles asked, referring to the Springfielders.
"They're not too bad. They make mistakes but they are a funny lot. Besides, I get to play the clown all the time. I smoke, gamble, fornicate, make an absolute fortune from merchandise and have mob dealings."
Giles nodded. "No real change from your Oxford days, then," he said dryly.
Krusty just laughed wildly again, and back flipped into a chair.
"Be a good chap, Ripper old boy, and put the kettle on."
In a dark laboratory, in the middle of Sunnydale's warehouse district, a thin man with unkempt hair was talking to himself.
"We just add this cable and the Demonsummoner is done, mmmhay," he said nasally. He stared at the display.
"Oh My God," he cried excitedly, "it's happening! A demon is coming! It's getting nearer and it's huge." The scientist's voice was getting higher and higher as the image on his screen got bigger and bigger.
He suddenly frowned in confusion, as his screen portrayed the demon as being directly on top of him. He looked around in bewilderment.
"Wait a second, this isn't the Demonsummoner, this is the frog exaggerator," he said with disgust, kicking the small amphibian of his shoe.
Buffy was comfortable. Extremely so. She had started to fall asleep after eating lunch, sitting next to Xander on the couch. Bart and Lisa had drifted off on the big armchairs, and were still asleep. The thick curtains in the living room were blocking out the light effectively.
Somehow, Buffy had ended up draped across Xander's chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was a new experience for the Slayer. Angel, being a vampire, had not had a pulse, and while his chest had been more muscled than Xander's, the man she was lying on was proving superior in other aspects.
She was amazed at the warmth of his body. She felt like Xander was sharing his body heat with her, taking care of her, even in his sleep. Angel had had an exciting coolness, like slipping into ice cold sheets at night, then warming them up with her body. Xander's body was offering different experiences and different exciting thoughts.
Her breath quickened, almost imperceptibly, as she wondered what it would be like to sleep with someone whose breathing would increase in passion, whose heart would race as he looked at her, touched her, devoured her. The idea of a partner who wouldn't have to tell her she was beautiful verbally, as his living body would tell her in a thousand little ways, was exciting and arousing.
Angel had tried incredibly hard with her, his cold lips had given her hot kisses, and the passion was certainly there. But the ensouled vampire had not been able to surpass the limitations of his demonic body. She didn't regret what had happened, although she would regret the aftermath for as long as she lived.
She had made the decision to sleep with Angel based on the love she felt for him, and the passion she carried.
After Angel's return from hell, they had tried everything either of them could think of to rekindle both the love and passion that they had felt, but they had failed. They had argued too much and been unable to see each other's point of view. In the end, they both realised that they could not go on. Buffy's stubbornness had made it a much harder for both of them, as she had refused to let go of what she was sure was her soul mate.
What Buffy had not appreciated at that time was that the problem wasn't their personalities; it wasn't anything to do with them, it was more basic than that.
Buffy was a Slayer, a mystic warrior with the strength to fight supernatural evil. She needed the light to survive, to remind her what she was fighting for. It was a concept that the Watchers, a society of people who trained and helped the Slayer, could not understand. A Slayer who immersed herself in the fight, whose only human contact was her Watcher, quickly forgot what she was fighting for. Buffy had always had friends, but even with them, she had started to lose herself with her Vampire lover.
Angel could never do the simple things with her, could never take her on a picnic in the park or to the beach. Her friends had tried to bring her into the daylight when she was with him, but she ignored them, claiming that it was meaningless without him.
Now, with time and space separating them, Buffy was starting to develop a different view. She wondered now if she had been in love with the idea of being in love. And, maybe, scared that Angel really was her soul mate, and that if she lost him, she would be alone for the short time that she would continue to live. Deep inside her, Buffy knew that it was love that gave her the courage to fight. Love for her friends, her family and her Angel. Without Angel, she didn't think it would be enough, and that maybe she wouldn't be able to call on that emotion the next time she needed to.
She now realised that, maybe, she could have more with Xander. He understood the night, and fought harder than anyone to bring her into the daylight.
She smiled against his chest, and luxuriated in the sound of his breathing. For the first time since Angel had left, she felt optimistic.