Bill and Ted... and Xander???

Author: Michael Wilson <wyrdradio[at]>

Rating: PG to R

Disclaimer: Joss, Mutant Enemy, and a lot of other people own the characters from Buffy. The characters of Bill S. Preston Esquire and Ted "Theodore" Logan are from the movies "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" and "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey" and are owned by Nelson Entertainment and Orion Pictures. I do not own them. I get nothing by writing this except maybe some kind words of encouragement and a few cheers... at least I hope.

Spoilers: Various scenes from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and possible scenes from Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey.

Setting: Set during Xander's road trip for BTVS and after the between the first and second movies for Bill and Ted.

Summary: While on his road trip, Xander makes a wrong turn and ends up in San Dimas. While there, he stumbles into Bill and Ted and gets dragged along with them on a most adventurous time.

Author's Notes: This is a Buffy/Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure crossover.

" " as always means talking...  while * * means thoughts.

Feedback: Yes please!!!!!

Distribution: If you like it... please feel free to place it on your site... but please tell me first.

Chapter 1

The engine sputtered once... twice.. then once more before it died completely. Xander looked around and spotted a Circle K up ahead on the left and hoped that he could coast toward it before his car stopped.

*Come on baby... go a bit farther... I can't push you there, not with my arm the way it is.*

Xander glanced down at his left arm and winced. He had dislocated his shoulder and sprained his left arm all at the same time while being attacked a few days earlier by some vampires.

*Damn things almost killed me... had to get out of there fast before the cops showed up... just thankful that guy was able to pop my shoulder back in for me before I ran off.*

Xander felt the car slowing and began rocking forward in his seat, willing the car to move just a few blocks further into the parking lot.

"Almost there... almost there... come on..."

Thankfully the road began to gently slope and Xander's car picked up a little speed. He smiled and let out the breath he had been unconsciously holding as he pulled up next to the gas pumps.

"Thank God."

Xander turned off the engine and got out to start pumping... then noticed that night had fallen already. Slipping a stake into his sling, he moved to the pump and set it to fill up his tank. While it was filling, Xander moved toward and light and safety of the convienience store's interior.


"I'm telling you, Dude, we need something more than just more pudding. I mean I know they held up well last time, but come on... didn't you get tired of it after a while? Why not get something else..."

Bill turned to Ted and waited for his response.

"Yeah... I know... maybe we should get some donuts or cupcakes or something... but which?"

The two young men looked at each other then looked back at the snack cakes, not noticing the young man who just entered.

"Donuts are cool... but they fall apart."

Bill nodded.

"Yeah... and they start tasting funny after a week or so, you know. Cupcakes are good... but they get squished and then all the creme filling gets pushed out and it's just chocolate cake."

Xander, having drawn closer to the two young men, overheard the last part of their conversation. He smiled and walked up next to them and grabbed half a dozen Twinkies.

"Go for the Twinkies. They taste great and some scientist guy once said that if there was ever a nuclear war, the only things that would survive would be roaches and Twinkies. It's safe to say they last a long time."

Bill and Ted looked at Xander and smiled.

"Dude... thanks."

They then began grabbing over a dozen of them as Xander nodded and walked over to the register... with Bill and Ted following soon after. Xander paid for his food and his gas and moved to the door. At the door he paused, feeling something come over him.

*I know this feeling. Buffy described it once to us as her version of "spidey sense". I'm not sure... but you'd think after a few years I'd develop something and I definitely feel something wrong here.*

Xander stepped outside and looked around as he walked slowly back to his car. He only made it four steps before they appeared...


Bill shoved the Twinkies into his backpack as Ted stowed the pudding and burritos in his. They headed out the door then came to a halt when they noticed the guy from earlier standing in the middle of the parking lot. They were about to ask if he was ok when all hell broke loose. Unusual creatures emerged out of the shadows and moved toward them.

"Crap... too many."

Ted glanced over at the new guy and frowned.

"Too many what?"

It was then he looked around and saw the weirdos coming his way.

"Shit! What the hell are these guys?"

Xander backed toward Bill and Ted and pulled out his stake.


Bill looked at Ted then began to laugh.

"Vampires... what do we do?"

Xander looked over his shoulder at the two guys and motioned toward his car.

"Head for my car.. we can get out of here."

Bill and Ted glanced over at their phone booth and began to reply when Xander took off toward his car. He got about 10 feet from it when it suddenly exploded. The blast launched Xander back toward and past Bill and Ted and made all three of them hit the pavement.

"Shit... my car!"

Xander winced in pain as he crawled to his feet and then turned toward the glass doors of the store.

"We need to get out of here... before the tanks explode!"

Bill looked at Ted as Ted looked back and they both nodded... then grabbed Xander around the waist and proceeded to drag him toward the booth. Bill stepped inside and began dialing as Ted tried to pull Xander inside.

"A phone... good.. call the fire department and the police... they can cap off the tanks before it gets too bad."

Ted yanked on Xander, pulling him inside, then pulled the doors closed.

"What.. hey.. what's going on?"

Ted leaned back against the booth and smiled as Bill hung up the phone.

"Hold on... we're history."

Xander looked at them, confusion all over his face, then glanced out the doors as lightning-like energy began to cascade across the booth's surface.


Light filled the space around them and they were sucked into the ground, vanishing in a flash of light... leaving behind some very confused vampires.


Xander slumped to the floor of the booth and stared out in terror at the realm they had just entered. Swirling energies were all around them and there appeared to be tunnel after tunnel hanging in mid-air with strange glowing creatures made of pure energy jumping from tunnel to tunnel.

"Where the hell are we... and who are you two?"

Bill smiled and pulled Xander to his feet.

"I'm Bill S. Preston Esquire..."

Ted grinned and cocked his head to the side.

"... and I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan..."

Then, before Xander's eyes, Bill and Ted moved closer together and got these strange grins on their faces.

"... and together we are... Wyld Stallions!"

Bill and Ted then began to play air guitar for a minute before they stopped at and smiled at the staring, gaping Xander.

"... and these are the Circuits of Time. From here, you can go anywhere into the past or future."

Xander stared at them and blinked.

"You're both insane..."

Bill and Ted snickered and shook their heads.

"Naw.. we're ok... you'll feel better once we land...??"

Xander heard the question in his voice and swallowed.

"Xander... Xander Harris."

Bill and Ted grinned and reached out to shake Xander's hand.

"Nice to meet you, Xander. To answer the question we know you're going to ask, we're headed for the year 2516. We have a buddy there who knows a ton of medical junk."

Ted nodded and continued from there.

"Yeah.. and we noticed your arm and figured you could use it."

Xander blinked in shock and stared at them.

"2516... I don't know what to believe..."

Bill smiled understandingly and nodded.

"We'll be there in a few minutes. Just relax and try not to puke in the booth."


The sky opened and the booth fell down and landed outside a large metallic dome next to an ocean the color of mercury. Within seconds, an umbilical stretched from the dome to the booth and enclosed the doors completely... creating an air-tight seal. Ted opened the doors and headed down the pathway to the main doors of the dome... with Bill and Xander following him. As they reached the doors, they opened with a hiss and a beautiful woman in a flowing silver dress appeared to greet them.

"Ted... and Bill... my most excellent friends... so good to see you again... but who is this young man?"

Bill grinned at the woman and pushed Xander forward.

"Hey Aurora... this is Xander. He's hurt."

Aurora nodded and waved them inside.

"We'll just have to take care of that then won't we."

Xander followed them inside, his eyes locked on Aurora as she lead him to an examining table.

"Lie down and relax please, Xander."

Xander nodded and climbed onto the table. A beam of baby blue light washed over him and Aurora smiled.

"Hmmm... sprained arm and you dislocated your shoulder recently... but what is this..."

Xander turned to look at the screen Aurora was staring at and blinked in shock. On the screen was a glowing ball of yellow-green energy hovering inside his body... hiding almost.

"... were you possessed by an animal spirit within the last four years?"

Xander nodded, amazed that she could tell all that.

"Yeah... Hyena... a year or so ago."

Aurora nodded and turned a dial to reveal a green-brown energy that was crawling around inside his head.

"... and another entity... militaristic in nature?"

Xander blinked and nodded again.

"Halloween... possessed by my soldier costume."

Aurora nodded again and smiled as Bill and Ted stared on in awe.

"It appears both have decided to join forces within you in a symbiotic relationship. Have you noticed any changes recently?"

Xander thought about it for a minute then slowly nodded.

"Yeah... been a little faster recently and been noticing more than I used to. Are... are they going to hurt me?"

Aurora laughed and shook her head.

"No.. they have decided to remain within in to help keep you safe. No need to worry about them... but now, as to your injuries..."

Aurora waved her hands in Xander's direction and the light came back on... only this time it shifted from a lavender to a warm pink. By the time the light had vanished, Xander felt better than he had ever felt before.

"Wow... that's.. wow... thanks."

Aurora nodded and smiled.

"My pleasure."

She turned to Bill and Ted and raised an eyebrow.

"You boys?"

Bill shook his head and smiled. Ted nodded and moved toward the table. Xander got up and Ted took his place... then everything repeated.

"Ah... I see... yes, just one moment, Theodore."

Ted nodded as the lights bathed him then smiled and joined his friends.

"Thanks Aurora."

Aurora smiled and motioned for them to come with her to the lounge.

"So... what is new?"

Bill and Ted sat down, Xander soon following them, and began to relate to Aurora everything new that had happened.

"... and then with the princesses in college, we figured we'd go exploring again... so we stopped to get some supplies and ran into Xander. We then got attacked by vampires and Xander's car got torched... and we headed here and that's about it."

Aurora nodded, a concerned look on her face.

"Vampires... yes... a nasty plague that was on the planet for a while. Thankfully they were exterminated about 370 years ago and none have been seen since..."

Xander blinked in surprise.

*370 years ago... so that would make it... around 2150 or so. Over 150 years before all vampires are gone... forever. Wow... wait till I tell Giles about this...*

Aurora smiled at the boys.

"So.. where are you off to now?"

Bill shrugged and turned to Ted.

"Take Xander home I guess... right Ted?"

Ted nodded and smiled at Xander.

"Yeah.. we got you fixed up, so we can take you back now... that is, if you want to go."

Xander looked at them and swallowed. His car was gone and he had good news for Buffy... but he still had close to a month before everything started up again in Sunnydale.

"I still got a month of my trip left. I guess hanging with you two would be ok.. if you want me to, that is."

Bill nodded, smiling, as Ted patted Xander's shoulder.

"Excellent.. someone new to show around. This will be a most triumphant time."

Bill and Ted got to their feet and smiled at Aurora... then spoke in unison.

"Thanks Aurora."

Aurora laughed and kissed their cheeks before leading them to the airlock.

"You're welcome, boys, and it was nice meeting you Xander."

Xander nodded and smiled.

"Same here... and thanks."

Aurora nodded and watched as the boys led Xander back into the booth. Inside, Bill turned to Xander and grinned.

"Where you from.. so I can lock it in for later?"

Xander turned to the phone and raised an eyebrow.

"Sunnydale, California."

Bill nodded and punched in some numbers. As he finished, Xander noticed two flashing numbers at the bottom of the keypad.

"What do those two buttons do?"

Xander reached out and pushed them before Bill or Ted could say anything. Seconds later lightning grabbed the booth and it was gone.


The booth came to a stop and dropped behind a high hedge just outside the High School. Xander looked out and was in shock... the High School was in one piece.

"What the hell...?!"

Ted looked at Xander... then over his shoulder at Bill.

"What's wrong?"

Xander blinked.

"The High School... it's... it's in one piece... but that's impossible."

Bill moved closer to the glass doors and looked out.

"Why is it impossible?"

Xander looked at the two of them and swallowed.

"Because I blew it up months ago."

Before the boys could say anything, Xander opened the door and ran outside. Bill and Ted ran quickly after him.

"Whoa.. dude.. hold up. You can't do anything here. If what we think happened, happened, then its a good chance that we're in your past."

Xander looked at the students coming and going and stared on in awe. He didn't even hear them as they went on and on about no interference. He was too busy concentrating on the car that had just pulled up and the blond who stepped out.


He stood there and watched her... then quickly looked down the sidewalk to see himself on a skateboard.

*Oh God.. the crash... its all happening again...*

He looked at Buffy.. then at his younger self.. and a smile crossed his face as his younger self's eyes locked on Buffy.

"Head's up Harris!"

Younger Xander jerked and looked around noticing the railing just in time to vault nicely over it. A small thunder of applause filled the area as those watching smiled at him. Xander grinned and picked up his skateboard... noticing the new girl was smiling at him.

"That was so cool, Xander!"

Xander looked over at Willow and smiled.

"Yeah.. and it saved me from landing my cute ass on this hard concrete."

Willow giggled then followed Xander as he walked through the smiling crowd and into the school.

"Aw crap.."

Older Xander turned around to see the now angry faces of Bill and Ted.


Bill shook his head and walked back to the booth. Ted sighed and nodded.

"You just changed your past.. right?"

Xander thought about it and slowly nodded.

"Yeah.. so?"

Ted motioned Xander back to the booth.

"Come on.. let's see what damage has been done before Rufus shows up and tells us Mars has gone yellow or something."

Ted and Xander walked back into the booth and Xander took one last look at the High School as a warm feeling filled him. For some reason.. he suddenly felt pretty good.

"Next stop... the future..."


Lightning flashed across the sky over the ruins of the high school as a strange rectangular box appeared out of nowhere. It dropped to the ground and came to a crashing halt. Smoke drifted away from it as a door opened revealing three young men.

"Are we in the right time?"

Xander looked back at Bill and Bill just shrugged.

"Guess so dude, we'll have to go look and see."

Xander nodded and turned to the right. He could see something off in the distance, but he couldn't make out what it was. Ted walked up next to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

"So... where does everyone go here?"

Xander smiled.

"The Bronze. We should check there."

The boys nodded and motioned for Xander to take the lead. Xander nodded and they headed off into the night... not noticing the eyes watching them from the shadows.


The Bronze was filled with loud music, as usual, when they arrived... but something seemed off. The usual crowd of people entering and leaving was gone. Xander stared at it for a moment then shook his head.

*Must be a slow night.*

He moved to the doors and turned back to look at the guys as he opened the doors wide.

"You're going to love this place..."

He smiled... then frowned when he saw the look of fear that crossed Bill and Ted's faces.

"Hey guys... what's wrong?"

They pointed to something inside the club so Xander turned back around and came face to face with a vampire. Xander blinked in shock and noticed that there had to be over a dozen more vampires inside the club.

"Uh... hi... um... we're just leaving."

The vampire shook his head and then smiled.

"Hey guys... looks like dinner's arrived. Tell The Master that dinner's early."

Xander backed away and reached into his back pocket for a stake... that wasn't there.

*Oh crap... think Xander think.*

"Um... guys... RUN!"

Xander kicked forward and caught the vampire in the groin then turned and ran back toward the school... with Bill and Ted on his heels. He could hear the vampire's scream of pain, followed by a roar of anger as he and his friends raced after them.

"Just run... don't look back!"

Bill reached the booth first and jumped inside. As he began punching buttons franticly, Ted ran in followed by Xander who slammed the glass doors shut.

"Get us out of here!"

Bill's eyes, wide with fright, grew wider as the vampires arrived and began hitting the booth on all sides.

"I'm trying.. I'm trying... I... I got one!"

He hung up the phone and pressed the glowing buttons just as one of the vampires slammed his fist through the glass, shattering it completely. Glass rained on them as the lightning grabbed the booth and yanked them into the ground... destroying the vampire in the process. As they sailed along the circuits of time, the boys turned to glare at Xander.

"Ok ok... I know its my fault. Something happened that changed everything. I did something, then, that fixed it so that all I've been through did and didn't happen. I mean, the school's gone... so that happened, but The Bronze is full of vamps... and he mentioned The Master, but Buffy killed the master... after I brought... her... back."

Xander's eyes glazed over as something clinked into place in his mind. Bill and Ted stared at Xander and frowned.

"Dude... dude... DUDE!"

Xander jerked and blinked.

"Can you take me back, back to where we were when I yelled at myself?"

Bill and Ted looked at each other and nodded slowly. They knew they would be risking things... but it had to be done.

"Yeah.. we can."

Xander nodded... then frowned as they continued.

"... but we have to wait until we land first."

Xander nodded and turned back to the shattered door... hoping that he'd be able to change things back...