"Meep Meep," said Buffy as she stuck her togue out at Spike.
Spike stood there trying to profess his undying love.
"Crash, crash," said the train as it flattened Spike to the size of a very thin pancake.
The camera zooms in on the spike pancake. Suddenly, it cuts to black, before appearing once more with Spike standing, miraculously unhurt, on the top of a huge cliff, that has a road running along the bottom.
Spike is looking down at the road, watching for the roadrunner. He has a big, BIG, weight in his hands, easily enough to make Glory think twice about trying to benchpress it. He leans over the edge, and Buffy appears behind him, out of a cloud of dust.
"MeepMeep!"
Spike jumps, turns around in mid air, but over balances and falls over the cliff. The weight remains miraculously hovering in the air, before it wobbles and falls. You see the Buffy stick out her tongue at the camera, before zooming off.
CUT TO: Where spike has just landed. Buffy is standing there, looking up. As spike recovers from the fall, he reaches for her, but the weight flattens him again.
Buffy sticks her tongue out again, "MeepMeep!" before zooming off once more.
Spike stood on the road eagerly, the lastest delivery from ACME strapped to his back. With his mouth watering at the thought of eating Buffy fresh in his mind, he set his plan in action.
The cloud of dust that followed the Buffy everywhere grew in the distance. "not yet... not yet....Now."
Spike pressed the big red button that read, 'Don't press except in case of emergancy', and the rocket pack burst into life, thrusting him down the road at Road runner like speed.
Closer....closer.... closer.... Spike bent down to lower his wind resistance. Buffy looked back and hit the Road Runner over drive and headed up the mountain.
Spike fearful the she would once more escape hit the second button that only read DON'T DO IT, he didn't care. Faster.. faster..faster...
Buffy ran right off the cliff and hung there in space. She quickly produced a sign from nothingness and wrote, "Good thing I can't read about the laws of gravity.
Spike went shooting by Buffy and the rocket motor sputtered. Well Spike knew all about the laws of gravity and down he went. Only to be splattered against the canyon floor.
The rocket motor which had become detached from spike, couldn't read the laws of gravity either, It fell to earth at a much slower pace than Spike did and it landed on top of him only to explode, leaving Spike a charred mess.
Spike rubbed his hands together evilly. The fuse sat on the ground in front of him, and he could see the dust trail in the distance. This would be a beautiful sight.
The dust storm got nearer, and Spike lit the fuse. It burnt along its length, and reached the large pile of TNT that he had so carefully placed behind some rocks at the side of the road. Buffy stopped, and cocked her head, watching the TNT pile fail to explode.
Spike stormed forward, angry that his plans had failed again, and marched past Buffy to the TNT. He bent down and blew at the fuse, which still had a small glow at the tip.
"MeepMeep!" Buffy ran off at top speed, before spike realised exactly what he was doing. As the fuse burnt inside the barrel, he looked up at the rapidly disappearing dust cloud.
Spike turned to the camera, and held up a small sign:
'Help'
BOOM!
Fade out.
Spike frowned, things weren't going well. Suddenly, a light bulb appeared over his head.
He looked at it, then realised it was an idea.
He grinned, and picked up the phone. Ten minutes later, a small box with the word ACME floated down, having been dropped out of a plane.
Spike opened the ACME all-in-one scene painting kit, and slowly rolled a large boulder into the middle of the road.
With thick broad brush strokes, he painted a realistic looking scene, that mirrored the road behind it perfectly.
"What's up, Vamp?" a recently disturbed Xander Rabbit asked, chewing on a Doublemeat Burger.
Spike pointed up the road, where the Buffy Runner was sprinting at high speed towards the lifelike road block.
Xander winced - Spike rubbed his hands, then gasped as with a "meep-meep" Buffy ran up the artificial road.
Spike growled, and chased Buffy, forgetting that it was only a painting. He bounced off the solid rock, then groaned as it slowly tipped forwards, crushing him.
"How's he out in the sunlight anyway?" Xander asked curiously, his eyes still attached to the attractive rear end of the Road Slayer.
Buffy Runner and Xander Rabbit stood, watching as Spike E Coyote set up his latest trap.
"Want some help?" Xander Rabbit asked the cute blonde Road Runner.
"Meep meep," The Slayer nodded.
Xander grinned, and stepped out of screen. He returned a second later, wearing a blonde wig and a cute dress.
"Meep meep," Buffy meeped appreciatively, in what was almost a wolf whistly.
Xander blushed, before walking down to the busy Coyote.
"Hey Handsome," the blonde Xander smouldered.
Spike's eye's bugged out, before his face seemed to morph into a wolf's. "WooooooO" he howled.
"A man working as hard as you, deserves a bit of a rest," Xander drawled with a heavy southern accent.
Spike closed his eyes, as Xander moved closer. The rabbit made to kiss the vampire, but socked him with a two by four instead.
"Wow," Spike thought, never having received such a powerful kiss. He opened his eyes, to see the cute blonde rabbit dancing away, every third step a little jump.
The Buffy Runner forgotten, he chased after Xander, each of his own third steps a heroic leap.
Xander stopped, hovering over the edge of a cliff.
Spike failed to notice, and stopped in front of him.
Xander pulled off his wig, and Spike looked shocked, then looked down. He saw that he was floating, and that somehow the rabbit was now standing on a cliff top.
He held up a sign that said "Eeep" then started to scream.
His last sight, before the onrushing floor, was the Slayer, who poked out her tongue at him and said, "meep meep," tauntingly.
Spike held up a bigger sign, saying, "Save me," before he crashed into a cactus field at over 200 miles an hour.
"Fancy a burger?" Xander Rabbit asked hopefully.
"Meep Meep."
Xander and Buffy sat in a handy burger joint, looking out the window of the slightly run down building.
Xander took a bite out a carrot burger, while Buffy pecked at a seed burger.
Spike stood in the kitchen at the back, and laughed while hopping from foot to foot in glee. He rushed out of the door dragging a roll of wire with him. Safely behind a rock, he attached the wire to a detonator, and looked over at the diner.
"Hehehe..." He pushed the plunger down, and watched the diner carefully as an almighty explosion...
...
...failed to happen.
He pulled the plunger up, and tried again. Still nothing happened. Spike turned at a tap on his shoulder. A delivery man was standing there, with a large crate. Spike was handed a board, and he signed for the crate.
Xander ducked round the back of the mountain that was to Spikes back, and covered his ears. Buffy stood next to him, jittering at staying still for so long. Finally, she zoomed off, leaving Xander standing there in a cloud of dust.
Buffy stopped next to Spike. "MeepMeep!"
Spike turned and looked at her, but it didn't register. He turned back to the diner, and pressed the trigger. This time, it worked. He watched the signal move down the wire, and slowly back round to the box that he had at his back.
Buffy shook her head, and zoomed off a fraction of a second before Spike realised.
Spike closed his eyes, and the crate blew before he could hold up the sign in his hand...
"Be wery qwiet, I'm hunting wrabbits," Angel Fudd said, in a stage whisper.
He tiptoed towards a hole in the ground, a large shotgun in his hands.
Buffy Runner, who was in the neighborhood to visit her new friend frowned. Angel was her ex-boyfriend, and she didn't want her new snuggle bunny hurt.
Luckily, Xander was not at home, so Angel continued to hunt him, tracking him by the large rabbit shaped footprints. The hunter was unaware of the road runner sneaking behind him.
Up ahead, Xander was spying on Spike E Coyote, as the vampire added metal balls to some pink lipstick.
Angel saw his old friend, and crept up. "Have you seen that wrascally wrabbit?" he asked, speaking a little slowly.
"No," the coyote replied. "I'm gonna catch that Buffy Runner."
"Oh," this seemed to surprise the hunter, who had idly pointed his gun at the coyore.
"Meep Meep," Buffy meeped with a smirk.
Both men jumped, unfortunatly for the Coyote, Angel squeezed the trigger, blowing all the hair from Spike's head, leaving him covered in black soot.
"Oops," Angel said, looking sheepish.
The Buffy Runner clicked her heels, then noticed the make up. She applied it with a large smile, hoping that the Xander Rabbit would like it.
She jumped, then kicked into high gear, sprinting away.
His injuries forgotten, Spike E Coyote pulled out his acme king size magnet and turned it on.
The large magnet hummed with power, visible waves of force emenated from it, as it locked on to the nearest source of metal.
Alas, for the hunter, the nearest source was his rifle. It flew from his hands and into the magnet. The powerful magnet pulled one barrel to the left, another to the right.
The coyote and the hunter looked at each other, resigned expressions on their faces.
Slowly, the magnet pulled back the trigger.
*bang*
Riley Duck bounced merrily across the pond, it didn't matter if he landed on his feet or his head.
"Todays the day I get the beautiful Buffy Runner," he announced to the world. He followed his statement by whooping loudly and leaping over to the land.
"Say," Xander Rabbit said, nibbling a carrot burger. "What's up, Duck?"
Riley puffed up his chest. "I'm gonna win the hand of the fair Buffy."
"Really?" the rabbit drawled, his eyes alight.
"Oh yes," the duck smirker.
"Hold it wright there, wrabbit," Angel Fudd shouted, suddenly appearing. "It's wrabbit season!"
"Duck," Xander corrected calmly, finishing his burger.
"What!?" Angel and Riley demanded.
"Duck season," Xander explained happily.
"Oh," Angel said, pointing his gun at Riley.
"Wait just one moment," the duck retorted. "It's rabbit season."
Angel swung his gun back to the rabbit.
"Duck!"
"Rabbit!"
"Duck!"
"Rabbit!"
"Duck!"
"Rabbit!"
"Rabbit!"
"Duck, Now fire!"
Angel did as he was told, and fired.
"That's dispicable," Riley snorted, slowly pulling his beak back around to the front. "Let's try that again."
Riley grabbed the barrel of Angel's gun and pointed it to Xander's head.
"It's rabbit season."
"Duck," Xander retorted, pushing the gun back towards Riley.
"Rabbit," the gun swung once more.
"Rabbit," Xander agreed.
"HA HA!" Riley shouted, "I've got you now."
The duck took a deep breath, then pulled the barrel back towards his own face. "Duck!" he yelled triumphantly.
While Angel was chasing Riley through the everglades, Xander spotted the lovely Slayer, and jogged off, hoping to get closer to the lightning fast Buffy Runner.
'How to attract women'. Spike E. Coyote eagerly read through the book.
The chapter: Cars. Spike read from the book, 'Women love men with fantastic cars. Spike leafed through a few pages of examples of beautiful sports cars. Spike's eyes widened to become giant dishes gleaming in anticipation.
The Lamborghini Diablo super charged easily cruised through Sunnydale. Spike looked left and right at ever cross roads. Suddenly he saw the familiar dust cloud to his right, and executing a perfect handbreak turn, he quickly caught up. He pulled up to Buffy Runner's right, and cooly placed an arm in the opened window. He looked at Buffy and wiggled his eyebrows.
Buffy checked out his car, looked in disdain, and said, "Meep Meep." She sped away. Angry Spike put the pedal closer to its max and sped up, once again catching up to Buffy. Spike leaned out his window, his arm outstretched, closer and closer to the lovely Buffy's neck. His grin predatory.
Just as we was about to grab the neck, Buffy held up a sign. Spike read it, 'Watch the road'.
"Meep meep," Buffy said, and made a ninety degrees turn to her left, into a small alley.
Spike looked forward, and his eyes widened, and popped out of his sockets in fear: he was heading toward a solid stone building at the end of a T-fork in the road. Quickly he returned into the car and slammed the break pedal. Screeching sounds, Spike closed his eyes, knowing the inevitable was coming. Bump. Spike opened one eye, than his other, slowly looked up and noticed his car had stopped right as it bumped against the building. Quickly putting the car in reverse he sped away, once again hunting Buffy.
Elsewhere Buffy Runner slowed down and then casually looked up. "What's up, babe?" Xander Bunny asked.
"Oooh," Buffy moaned with big apreciative eyes.
Spike E. Coyote's Lamborghini zoomed through the streets. "Meeeeep, meeeep." Spike knew those meeps anywhere, even thought they did seem a little etherical. His beloved! He would fuck her than eat her! Yes, finally! Without regard for common sense he turned the car sharply into the small alley and floored the gas. "Meeep, meeep!" Sounded again, then out of nowhere loomed a large monster truck. Spike eyes widened, his face paled and got drawn back. In the drivers said, Spike just glimpsed Xander Bunny's face contorted in pleasure, just above the shorter frame of Bunny Runner happily moving up and down, the bunny's eyes wrapped around the girl.
Spike lifted a sign, 'I should have known: size matters.' Then the monster truck crashed over his puny Lamborghini. The bump caused a long drawn out, "Meeeeeeeeeeeeep meeeeeeeep!" to come from the monster truck cabin.
The monster truck moved on, leaving a crunched Lomborghini tuffing along, squeecking up and down like an accordion before it came to a standstill. Spike was just as wrinkled as the car, and he seemed ready to cry. Strangely a drifter got up to his right and started running away as fast as he could. Spike frown, and squeeked out a questioning whine. "Hollywood," the drifter yelled to Spike.
Spike was confused for a moment, than his eyes widened in fear. He started to wriggle, trying to pry himself loose from the crunched car. He got his left arm free, he managed to get it to a floor, a relieved smile on his face; he was going to make it!
BOOM!
Without reason the car suddenly exploded, leaving a smoldering wrechage. Spike was floating in air, as the blackened chassi of the car turned to dust. He was burned to a crisp, except his left arm, which was perfectly fine. Starting as it his feet he turned to dust, leaving a neat pyramid-shaped pile of ashes, with two eyes on top. Spike's blackened eyes opened, blinked twice as he saw his untouched arm, which then toppled over.
Dawn stood on the side of the road. She didnt know how she got there stuck in the dessert, nor could she understand why Buffy Runner and Spike E Coyote were running back and forth in front of her.
It was the seventh pass when the uncontrollable urge to sing came upon her....
If you're on the highway and Road Runner goes beep beep.
Just step aside or might end up in a heap.
Road Runner, Road Runner runs on the road all day.
Even the coyote can't make her change his ways.
Road Runner, the coyote's after you.
Road Runner, if he catches you you're through.
Road Runner, the coyote's after you.
Road Runner, if he catches you you're through.
That coyote is really a crazy clown,
When will he learn he can never mow him down?
Poor little Road Runner never bothers anyone,
Just runnin' down the road's her idea of having fun.
With the last word, Dawn walked off into the sunset.
Spike growled to himself as he stood in front of his mirror, "Damn that Buffy Runner and Xander Bunny. I need to get them." Angel Fudd stood next to him.
"I can help."
Spike E Coyote turned around to see the new visitor, " What do you want?"
Yosamite Kennedy looked at the coyote and the hunter, " Ooh, I hate that rabbit. I want him dead."
Spike grinned, "With three of us, we certainly can get them."
"Excellent," replied Angel Fudd.
******
Buffy Runner ran through the forest looking for her new friend, Xander Bunny hoping to have some real fun when she spotted Tasmanian Faith.
Faith stopped spinning and growled at the roadrunner.
Buffy looked at where the Tasmanian Devil was rolling around and spotted Xander Bunny. It looked like they were having fun. The blond pouted.
Xander Bunny grinned and said to her, "Come here, Doc. There’s plenty of rabbit to go around."
Buffy Runner smiled and started kissing the rabbit. " Meep Meep."
Faith glared at the two and growled.
He turned to face her, "C’mon, Faith. We love for you to join us."
"Meep. Meep."
Then the three started kissing and groping each other.
Out of the woods came Angel Fudd, Spike E. Coyote, and Yosamite Kennedy.
Yosamie Kennedy glared at Xander Bunny, "Get away from those girls."
Xander Bunny spotted the gun, "Ah, what’s up, Doc?"
"I’m going to get you. It’s Rabbit season."
"Human season."
"Rabbit season."
"Human season."
"Rabbit season."
"Human season."
"Rabbit season."
"Human season."
"Rabbit season."
"Human season."
Xander Bunny smiled, "Rabbit season."
Without thinking, Yosamite Kennedy said, "Human season."
The rabbit sighed, "Fine, human season."
Yosamite Kennedy grinned, "Good. Fire."
Then the bushes all around the field moved and rifles poked out. The rifles started shooting and shot Angel Fudd and Yosamite Kennedy. Spike E Coyote got killed in the crossfire.
Xander Bunny smiled and turned to his two new girlfriends. "Ain’t I a stinker?"
Buffy Runner nodded, "Meep. Meep." Then she pounced on him and started to kiss him. Tasmanian Faith shortly joined in.