Cartoon Heroes

Author: John "Hatten" Carlsson <hatten_jc[at]>

Song Fic : Cartoon Heroes by Aqua

To Eddy29456 Thank you for your help in correcting my english. You did a wonderful work especially with alternate wording.

"X wake up," the girl's voice gently shook him again and again.

Xander's memory felt like it was stuck in quicksand.

*That's May's voice* his memory confirmed but who the hell was May. May started to shake him "X Wake up now. This is not funny" her voice was worried now.

Xander's memory froze, something was wrong, not one set of memories, two different sets of memories.

In one was Buffy and the Hellmouth, in the other May 'Mayday' Parker his beloved twin sister.


We are what we're supposed to be
Illusions of your fantasy
All dots and lines that speak and say
What we do is what you wish to do


"Alex wake up now" his father's and mother's voices echo like twins voices it they were filled with fear.

Xander *Dad but and Mom* he could remember Peter Parker, his dad, the now older and retired Spiderman hero of New York, and his mother beautiful Mary Jane Watson Parker, Photo model, movie star, and housewife.

But his dad was Mark Harris, friendly but drunken failure of a man. And his mother or Betany Harris, violent and abusive when drunk.

His school record was good, chess club member and football star planning a future in advanced robot programing and biochemistry until His dad's genetics happened to him and his sister.

Spiderman and Spidergirl where born.

They were heroes using their dad's old equipment and gadgets and weapons he had built from things found in the lair of Green Goblin. And his girlfriend from school Tara Felicia.

But the other memory was of a school failure and a misfit without confidence. But a hero in the silence, a vampire hunter that that got no respect no matter what he did.


We are the color symphony
We do the things you wanna see
Frame by frame, to the extreme


"What happened," Xander said as he sat up. His head was a bundle of pain, the two sets of memories just made a scramble of his life. Was he Alexander Parker or Alexander Harris or both?

"I'd like to find out, son," Peter, no, his dad, said.

"You fainted during dinner," Mary-Jane, his mom, said. She was worried, he could hear it.

"Yeah, anything to avoid Mom's food" May said, jokingly, trying to hide her fear.

Xander smiled about the food. Mary-Jane, Mother, never did get the hang of cooking good food.

"No, sis, I . . . I am not sure what it is."

Peter nodded. "Something strange then, Alex," he said in a knowing voice.

Xander blinked. "You could say that."

The memory of Sunnydale, the fear when Angelus murdered and destroyed came back to him more and more.

He could feel his memory of this life becoming weaker, No not weaker equally strong and equally important.

Xander gave him the X-smile, as his dad called it. It meant "my secret, live with it."

Mom frowned. "Alex please tell us," she asked. "You don't faint, this could be important," she was begging him.

Xander could see the rest of his family worry especially Dad and May, damn spidersense they always knew when it was something strange or dangerous to themselves or their family.


Our friends are so unreasonable
They do the unpredictable
All dots lines that speak and say
What we do is what you wish to do


May was a proud girl, but for her brother she didn't care. She used a full power puppy eye attack including tears and trembling voice.

"If you don't let us help X then then if anything would happen it would be my fault."

Xander swallowed. Damn it, he could stand up against The Juggernaut with out crumbling in fear. He managed to survive and win in a fight against Magneto II, the Queen of magnetism and her daddy's daughter in every way.

But it did almost cost him his eye, a large scar was now over that part of the face.

And it was the last time he went easy on a criminal.

But still the vision of his sister or mother whimpering made him fold and talk. Beside him Peter, Dad, was smiling.

"I think I have to talk to Dr. Strange. It's the memory of a past life is awakening," Xander said.

"A past life in another reality," he said whispering so only those with the power of a spider could hear him.

"Let's take the car," Mary's voice was in full command tone.

The dinner was forgotten.

"Can we stop and get MacDonalds on the way," May said as they left the house. Xander could only hope, they were 17 and food was a priority. Protect family, Food, save world, Girls, homework in that order...


It's all an orchestra of strings
Doin' unbelievable things
Frame by frame, to the extreme
One by one, we're makin' it fun


The family sat and waited on the side of the room. In the center of the room sat Xander, beside him stood Dr. Strange, the doctor's hands glowing glowing with a magical light.

Mary Jane ate her burger. Food was always something she had hard time eating when something strange happened with her family. It was a wonder she was not anorexic. *her little hero boy, he look so scared* was all she could think.

May listened, glad for the food. Strange things always made her hungry, and with this family it was a miracle that she was not fat as a hippo. *X sure looks scared, but so would I," she thought, hoping her brother was fine.

Peter carefully ate the burger. Magic, he hated it. It was not science, all of the laws were incomprehensible.

Still, he trusted Strange, and his mystical Spidersense told him that the danger his boy was facing was not life threatening.

At least not directly. *but my boy sure looks hungry*

Strange's voice echoed in the large room, "Empty your mind, boy," as he started to read Alexander's aura.

Xander groaned. *Empty my mind, I am hungry, I think I am going to die, hungry, no food, and I missed breakfast,*And the stupid criminal gang, Vulture 5, that he and May had to fight did not make him less hungry.

But he remembered facing Buffy in the library. IF Willow dies because of Angelus so do you.


We are the Cartoon Heroes - oh-oh-oh
We are the ones who're gonna last forever
We came out of a crazy mind - oh-oh-oh
And walked out on a piece of paper


He remembered grasping the sword as he and Angelus fell into Hell.

And the voice of Giles screaming his name and the bleeding body of Buffy on the ground.

He remembered the angels raiding and freeing from hell him giving him a choice go to heaven or be reborn free from the pain of hell.

He remembered how he said, "I want to help to protect and save the innocent." He remembered the shock in the face of the angel and the caring smile.


Here comes Spiderman, arachnophobian
Welcome to the toon town party
Here comes Superman, from never-neverland
Welcome to the toon town party


The voice of creation, beautiful and warm, caring and cruel, spoke in his memory. You can serve the Powers That be the self appointed caretakers of your earth realm.

Or you may join my angels protecting heaven from demons.

Last being given the rare chance of being reborn with his memory intact given the powers would you need to protect with out serving PTB.

He remembered asking about the last choise.

You will grow up a new life on the memorial of your death your past life and memory will return and you will have the choise to stay and fight in that place or go to Sunnydale and be a champion of the inocent.

His choice, leave this world and his family to a pale awful world to fight and die alone.


We learned to run at speed of light
And to fall down from any height
It's true, but just remember that
What we do is what you just can't do


"Do you know what it is" Dad's voice interrupted is brooding.

*I'm becoming dead boy, or webboy," he smiled.

Strange's voice explained what he had seen. "It's a divine spell, an angel or something like that have return your child's past life memory to him, It's nothing dangerous, just confusing, but I fear he is standing in front of a choice."

May ran over and hugged her brother, he was fine. "What kind of choice," Mary asked.

Dr Strange said, "I do not know."

Before they coulds speak Xander's voice, grim as the scar on his young face made them quiet, "I died as 17 year old vampire hunter.

By closing a portal to hell I got trapped inside, was tortured days,weeks, months, years, I don't know. Then angels freed me and hundreds of captured souls. They gave me a choice, be reborn, or rest in heaven, I asked if I could help. And now I must chose stay with my loving family or go to a world where I am alone and fight a never ending war against vampires and demons in a town standing on the gate of hell."

His family suddenly hugged him. Seeing the confirmation in Strange's face and the pain in his voice they knew their baby boy, May's brother, was telling the truth.

Wong the oriental servent of Strange carefully said, "His voice sounds so old, so awful old." Strange nodded. "He has the memory 34 years of living and only god knows how many year of torture in a Helldimension.

All that in his 17 year old body would make any one of us old." Wong clapped his hand hoping praying to the kamis that the child adult would make the right choise.


And all the worlds of craziness
A bunch of stars that's chasing us
Frame by frame, to the extreme
One by one, we're makin' it fun


Xander said, "My enemy called me the White Knight Dad, Mom." His eyes were filled with despair as he hugged his family closer. "I could abandon friends I always love to protect others."

Mays voice whispering, "I can't with out you."

Dad's voice was fearful, "My son, don't go boy don't go."

"They are alone now no one to protect them when the night falls, if I stay children will die, Dad, Mom," Xander whispered as he pulled his black spiderman hood over his face. And his body started to fade away leaving a crying family that loved him behind. They could feel his love and his burning belief in responsiblty and caring the White knight was going home.


We are the Cartoon Heroes - oh-oh-oh
We are the ones who're gonna last forever
We came out of a crazy mind - oh-oh-oh
And walked out on a piece of paper


"What a hero" Faith said, sounding impressed as she and Willow walked in the cemetery.

Willow said, "yes but according to Giles and Buffy, Angel's soul was returned just as they both fell inside Acathla."

Faith stopped and blinked, "that's so cruel." Willow nodded. "Yes Faith."

Faith said, "man, that's so unfair I wish i could have met him."

Willow smiled, "He would have loved you."

A cruel voice interupted them "I just have to let the two of you meet him then."


Here comes Spiderman, arachnophobian
Welcome to the toon town party
Here comes Superman, from never-neverland
Welcome to the toon town party


"Kakistos," Faith whispered, her face pale. Willow was just as pale, not that she knew about Kakistos, but the other twelve vampires were reason to make her pale in fear.

As Kaktosis started to smile "Take them boys" was his order then suddenly something strange happened and the vampire stopped.

Trick, Kakistos right hand man, suddenly went flying screaming up in the air to land on a nearby roof.

Faith could see that a thin rope was stuck on his head and he screamed in pain.

A dark shape landed among them holding Trick under his arm bound tight.

The dark shape dressed in a black costume with a white spider on his back suddenly spoke "I am sorry i forgot a stake. This most likely will hurt a bit more you are welcome to scream if you like vampire." The last part was said with a hate that made shiver of fear and lust rip loose inside Faith.

Then the costume guy ripped Trick's head off using his bare hands.

Faith's voice was dry. "I think i have a spare Stake," she said.

The man smiled and jumped a impossible 8 feet to land beside her. "Great, could I borrow it? Call me Spiderman."

Faith carefully held up the stake and the masked man, she just knew that he was smiling, turned toward the vampire and crouched down to jump.

Kaktosis suddenly felt overwelming rage, "You will die." Then he fell down in dust and bone and the spiderman stared to fight with a fury that would make Sensei Dardevil and Ironfist happy and of course make old Logan laugh in joy.


You think we're so mysterious
Don't take us all too serious
Be original, and remember that
What we do is what you just can't do


Willow stood, still trembling, as the stranger walked toward them, his movements were like a predator and the vampire dust filled the alley like a mist.

"Hello, Willow, I'm glad you remember me," the masked man said.

Faith look carefully, she could see that the masked man knew Willow but also that he knew Willow would never be able to recognize him.

Willow "I ... I ... I don't know you, do I," she stammered.

Spiderman carefully removed his mask, smiling the friendliest smile Faith had ever seen. "You really think a small thing like Hell would keep me down?"

Willow eyes started to cry, "no, no, don't let it be a dream it's Xander, he's back." She ran over giving him a bone breaking hug.

But Xander did not even feel it. "You could also hug me," he said wagging his eyebrows.

Faith smiled a crooked smile. "Why ? I don't know you."

Xander rolled his eyes. "You could pretend."

Faith had a big grin on her now. "And why would I do that?"

Xander looked like he was thinking hard, "Because I would be forever your friend."


What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do


Giles shook his head. "This is remarkable, totally unheard of."

Xander nodded, "So I was told. I'm the first that said no to a free ticket to heaven just to go back as a mortal." The rest of the gang just look in awe he had explained about his powers and the alternate world but it just sounded like a DC comic but with out Superman.

Even the Detect demon spell said he was human with a soul.

Giles finally hugged him. "I'm glad you're home, son."

Buffy smiled as she sat in the chair far away hiding her face.

Xander spoke "Buffy why are you staying over there?"

Joyce's hand carefully brushed away Buffy's hair to reveal an eye patch trying to hide an awful scar.

Buffy started to cry. "I'm sorry Xander I failed you all and I'm a freak now."

Xander walked over and sat down. "Did you learn anything from this?" Seeing her noding he continued, "then it was a mistake not a failure. Just never forget what happened but forgive yourself. By the way, the eyepatch, it looks cute."

Buffy look up angy and insulted by his claim that her scarface was cute but she could see his scar just missing his right eye but a hidous scar looking like some one had tried to rip his head off.

Xander smiled, "You can hide your scar and your pink eyepatch does look cute."

For the first time Buffy believed what Joyce and Willow said and she hugged Xander crying in joy her family was back.


We are the Cartoon Heroes - oh-oh-oh
We are the ones who're gonna last forever
We came out of a crazy mind - oh-oh-oh
And walked out on a piece of paper


The vampire shivered in the cold night desperately trying to find a place to hide when a boot suddenly blocked his crawling path.

A strong hand lifted him up and a voice he remember in shame and hate spoke. "Hello Dead boy, need help," Xander said.

Angel voice was weak. "I'm sorry," he said.

Xander rolled his eyes and put Angel on his shoulder and walked to the empty mansion. "You do know seeing you nude is actually worse than being in hell, deadboy?"

Angels mind was slowly coming to terms that (1) he was not dead or in hell.

(2) Harris had him.

(3) he almost wihsed he was back in hell as Harris continued to crack bad jokes as he roof jumped carying Angel like a bag of potatoes.

In Xander's mind he was occupied. *Okay PTB I will do the the favor you ask me to protect DB until he can be your champion. But how the hell shall I tell the rest of the gang that DB is back - they'll dust him* And Spiderman and the Bloodsucker wanish in the night.


There's still more to come
And everyone will be
Welcomed at the
Toon - Toon
Town - Town


Next day in the library it was quiet, the only thing you could here was the frantic cleaning of glasses.

Xander smiled. They took the news better then I thought they would. He then could see Giles's face turning furious and a evil smile on Giles's face started to make him nervous.

The End...