Demon Hunter X

Author: Ed Scott <EScott92[at]>

Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners... none of who are me.

Summary: Six months after graduation, the Scoobies, Angel and Cordelia get front row tickets to the Royal Rumble.

A/N: For timeline purposes, the Ministry of Darkness angle happened eight months later than it actually did.

Warning: Crossovers: WWF

Rating: PG

Feedback, It's the coin of the realm

Chapter 1

Buffy, Willow, Oz, Giles, Joyce, Angel and Cordelia were seated in the front row of the Staples Center for the Royal Rumble. The Undertaker was the favorite to win tonight and face Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania XVI for the world title. But first, he was getting married to Stephanie McMahon, the daughter of the owner of the WWF, Vince McMahon. Everyone knew she would never willingly marry him, but then again, when did that ever stop the bad guys?

"Does anyone know why we're here? I'm not a wrestling fan. I get enough violence in my real life. I'm glad to have the night off, but still." Everybody there shared Buffy's sentiment. Except Giles went to Oxford with one of the wrestlers here and he wanted to catch up.

The first three matches went off with no problem. Then, the ring was set up for the wedding between the Undertaker and Stephanie McMahon. The Undertaker's music hit and they went to the ring. Stephanie was trying to get away, but the Acolytes held on to her too tightly.

"We are gathered here today to witness the unholy union between the Undertaker and Stephanie McMahon. If anyone has any objections to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace." For thirty seconds, no one except the audience, objected. As Paul Bearer was about to start the vows, the lights went completely out. For thirty seconds there was utter darkness. Except for the flashbulbs and some cigarette lighters. When the lights came on, all of the Undertaker's followers were out cold, and Stephanie had disappeared. Standing in her place was a brown haired teenager wearing a black trench coat carrying a seven foot long staff.

The Undertaker was extremely upset. He knew who this kid was, but he thought he'd been older. This guy was suppose to be a myth in the supernatural world. He was starting to get nervous.

JR: Who is that kid?

King: I have no idea, but whoever he is, he's made the Undertaker nervous. Also, where did Stephanie go?

JR: I have no idea, but I hope she's safe.

Buffy and the gang were confused. When did Xander become a professional wrestler? And why was he dressed like a vampire? Angel was thinking of suing for copyright infringement. Willow was concerned that Xander might get hurt, she wanted Buffy to get in there to save him. That would be useless, because the security was focused on their area. There was no way to get to the ring without being arrested. So, she just sat in her seat and watched the show.

Xander undid the zipper on his coat with his right hand. When the jacket was fully opened, the Batman body armor had the Roman Numeral ten in white paint. Around his neck, was an ancient looking gold cross. When the Undertaker saw the cross, he went to attack Xander. He was rewarded by Xander shoving his staff into the Undertaker's stomach, followed up by hitting him in the jaw with it. Momentarily stunning him. Paul Bearer looked like he was about to mess himself.

Xander grabbed the microphone that Paul dropped. "You know Undertaker, I knew you would do this. You should have checked to see if I was in the area before going through with this ceremony. But no. You had to go through with it anyway. If you're wondering where Stephanie is, she's safe from the likes of you. As long as I'm breathing, you will never touch her again." When the crowd heard that, they went nuts. The Undertaker got foiled by a teenager.

"For your guys that are just waking up, they'll be glad to know they got beat up by Demon Hunter X." Just then, the lights went out and when they turned back on, Xander had disappeared. The Undertaker was very angry. His followers were for the most part, still out.

JR: Demon Hunter X? He must be good if he stopped the Ministry. The Undertaker looked really upset.

King: You are right, JR. I've never seen the Undertaker this mad before. Do you think it was a good idea to piss off the Undertaker before the Rumble? He might be even angrier going into the Rumble tonight. I'm not sure anyone can stop him.

In the Royal Rumble, the last five participants were the Undertaker, Stone Cold Steve Austin, the Rock, Triple H, and Kurt Angle. Triple H, Kurt Angle and the Rock were eliminated by the Undertaker. The Undertaker was about to win the Rumble, when on the Titantron it showed Stephanie McMahon being tended to by Xander. This distracted the Undertaker enough so that Austin could throw the Undertaker over the top rope. Earning the title shot at WrestleMania.

The Undertaker ran to the back to try and find Stephanie. When he got to where he thought she was, all there was was a message painted in white.

She is safe from you. She'll be back when you are dead, Deadman. -DHX

The camera faded to black. Buffy and friends waited until the crowd thinned out before they got up to leave.

"I don't believe it. Xander is in the WWF. That is so cool. I wonder how he got here?"

Just then, a member of the WWF security team found all of Xander's friends. He looked at the redhead. "Are you Willow Rosenberg?" Willow took out her Student ID and said, "Yes I am. Does Xander want to see me?"

"Actually, he wants to see all of you. He wants to show you his job. And to, and I quote, not worry about him. If you will follow me." The Sunnydale natives were shown backstage. They went by all the wrestlers. The wrestlers knew them because they all saw Xander's pictures. But his friends did not know this. They eventually got to the locker room Xander was using. He just got out of the shower and was wearing one of his Hawaiian shirts. A vast difference from the clothes he wears in the ring.

"Hi guys. Enjoy the show?"

"Yes, but you could have been hurt. Why do this?"

"I wasn't going to get hurt tonight. Tonight was just introducing my character to the world. Tomorrow night I might get hurt. But, after getting hit by vampires for three years, I should be able to shrug off whatever pain I'm in. Besides, it's not like any of you will want me around. Seeing as how you all are busy. Now, you can tell your friends that you are best friends with Demon Hunter X."

"And you just HAD to just look like me?"

"I'm not wearing any hair gel. Other than that, yeah. And I won't brood."

"Xander, I'm proud of you." Mrs. Summers was indeed proud of her surrogate son. Some of her art patrons are wrestling fans. She can just imagine what they will say should they find out who Xander is. Maybe get a couple pictures of Buffy, Willow and Xander and put them in her office.

"Wait until tomorrow night. You'll really get to see what I have done over the summer. You might be impressed." He leaned into Buffy, "I bet you twenty bucks Willy has my picture all over his walls by morning. Maybe telling stories about me interrogating him. It's probably safe to say that the guys that you fight will probably ask you for my autograph. Maybe even ask you what I was like before I became a wrestler."

Giles had to ask. "Xander, how did you get involved in wrestling?"

Chapter 2

Giles had to ask. "Xander, how did you get involved in wrestling?"


July 8, 1997- Los Angeles, CA

Xander was in Los Angeles for the weekend to see Monday Night RAW. He was excited, he had never been to a TV wrestling show. He did not have any of the shirts, but he was going to buy some on Monday. As he was enjoying the night just walking around, he heard a loud crash coming from an alley. He had only been patrolling with Buffy for only a year, but that sound usually means something bad is going on.

Xander pulled one of his stakes out of his shirt, and entered the alley. There was a vampire trying to get at a couple that were in their fifties. The husband tried to hold him off, but it was useless. Xander saw that it was a vampire attacking the husband and wife. He then saw that the couple was Vince McMahon and his wife Linda. He never saved a celebrity before, he wondered what would happen.

Xander saw a trash can lid, and decided to do his Captain America impersonation. Grabbing the lid like a Frisbee, he threw it at the vampire. Catching it right in the back of the head, knocking it out. Xander immediately staked the vampire. As the vampire was turning into dust, he went to check on the couple. Linda was knocked out, she had a bump on her head and was bleeding from a cut in her forehead. Vince had some bruises on his hands and face. Luckily for Vince, the bruises can be covered up with make-up.

"What happened here?"

"You were attacked by a real undead vampire. By morning, you and your wife will think it was just a bad dream. Most people think that when attacked. Just go home and go to bed. You will be better off not thinking about this ever again."

"I don't think so. I could probably use this as a storyline. Who are you? Is there anything I can do to repay you?"

"My name is Xander Harris, I'm from Sunnydale, California. The fact that you two survived is payment enough. However, in two years I will be graduating high school. I would like to go to one of your wrestling schools. Provided I live that long. All I want is a chance. I never thought I'd get it by saving your life."

"Thank you, Mr. Harris."

"Please, call me Xander. Mr. Harris is my father, and I do not want to be him."

"Ok, Xander. If you survive to get your high school diploma, you will have a spot in my wrestling school. You will get your chance." Xander escorted the McMahons to their car. He gave Vince his address and phone number. For some reason, Vince wanted to stay in touch.

:End of Flashback:

"So that is how I met Mr. McMahon. After a few months of training and a couple in Ohio learning how to be a wrestler, mostly on the losing end, he came up with the gimmick that you saw tonight. With some of my input. The coat I thought was a good touch. I did it just to make fun of Angel."

"Why didn't you tell us this, Xander?" Buffy asked.

"If I told you that I saved a famous couple from a vampire, would you have believed me? Or would you have lectured me on being reckless and staying out of trouble?" There was no answer from his friends. "I rest my case. Now I have a question for you, Willow. When you saw me in the ring surrounded by all the wrestlers, even though most of them were knocked out, was your first thought that Buffy should get in the ring to protect me?" Willow blushed and looked at the floor.

"Of course not, Xander."

"Don't lie to me. I know you as well as you know me. Why do you think that the security team was heavier on your side of the audience? I know how you guys think. Being a professional wrestler is less dangerous than risking your life night after night. I will be in some pain, but I don't need the Slayer to protect me any more. At least, while I'm here."

Everybody was silent while Xander got his bag. He handed them his card that had his cell phone number on it. They promised each other that they would keep in touch. Xander was headed to San Francisco for the next show. Everybody else was headed home. Whether it be Los Angeles or Sunnydale.

The Following Night

When show time came around, the WWF graphic appeared on the Titantron. It recapped the Royal Rumble, and what happened with the Undertaker and his failed wedding.

JR: I wonder what the Undertaker will do tonight to this Demon Hunter X.

King: I don't know, JR. But I do know that he is really upset at that kid. There is no telling what the Undertaker will do to him.

The Undertaker's music hit and the Ministry entered the ring. "Alright, kid. You have made a name for yourself. Congratulations. Tonight you will fight Viscera. And he will beat you to within an inch of your life then you will tell me where my bride to be is. Then I will finish you off. What do you say kid?"

The lights went out in the entire arena. There was a medley of heavy metal guitar solos followed by a video of Xander hunting "demons." "Fine, Deadman. I have fought tougher things than him. I can use the work out. I hope he likes hospital food. Or being fed through a tube in his nose." The crowd went nuts hearing Xander say he would hospitalize the 400 pound behemoth. Then the lights went out, and when they turned back on, Xander wasn't there any more.

JR: Demon Hunter X versus Viscera. That kid has a tall order ahead of him.

King: Do you think he means to put Viscera in the hospital? Or will we need a mop to clean the kid up with after he is made a puddle in the middle of the ring?

JR: I don't know. We will find out next.

Back in Sunnydale

The gang was at Buffy's house and they were nervous. They knew it was just a show, but they still did not want seeing Xander get hurt. Buffy and Willow could not fight the urge to get into the WWF to protect Xander. If that were to happen, Xander would be laughed out of the WWF. No self respecting wrestler wants to be out done by a woman.

Chapter 3

Viscera came out first. With his dark clothing, he looked menacing. To the gang in Sunnydale, he looked hilarious. He looked like any of the vampires they have fought over the last three years. After Viscera was in the ring and did a little running around, the lights went off and Xander's music hit. When Xander came out, he got a moderate applause. 'Well, only a moderate applause, huh. I guess I'll have to change that. Time to get ready for the Philadelphia show''

Xander removed his coat and cross and handed them to the attendant at ringside. Viscera tried to look menacing, but according to Xander's character, he's not impressed. Xander however, was as nervous as when he saw his first vampire three years ago. Then the bell rang, starting the match.

Xander knew he had to follow at least the start of the script. Then it was all improvised. They locked up, with Xander getting hit in the back by Viscera's forearm. Xander fell down, and Viscera picked him up over his head, and dropped him like a bad habit. Viscera then went to pose for the crowd, not even bothering following up on his attack. Xander pulled himself up, and waited for him in the corner, trying to catch his breath.

Seeing Xander in the corner, he charged at Xander, trying to flatten him. What Xander did, surprised everybody. As Xander was getting out of the way, he pulled the referee into Viscera's path. The ref took the punishment.

JR: Did you see that, King. He just pulled the referee into the charging Viscera. Why would he do that?

King: I don't know, but I don't know why I never thought of it.

As Viscera was running into the referee, Xander went out side the ring and grabbed a chair. Entering the ring, Xander hit his opponent in the back of his left knee, making him fall down. Xander then hit him as hard as he could on top of his head with the chair. As Viscera was stunned, Xander put his opponent's left foot inside the chair. Xander climbed on to the top rope and jumped onto the chair, feet first. Viscera screamed loudly as his leg was in the process of being broken.

JR: He is doing the right thing, going after his leg. This kid is really thinking in there.

When Xander landed, the crowd started chanting, "Holy Shit! Holy Shit!" There were other referees coming out to get the injured referee some medical help, and for one of them to call the match. Xander removed the chair from Viscera's foot and placed it on top of his face. Xander climbed the top rope, and stood there waiting for the appropriate response from the crowd. He got it.

Xander jumped and landed with a leg drop on to the chair. The audience was going nuts. Xander went for the pin.



Viscera picks his shoulder up. Unfazed, Xander went on the attack again. He sat Viscera up, and hit him with a clothesline. He picked him up again, and dropkicked him right in the face. Picked him up once more, and bounced off the ropes behind Viscera and bulldogged him. Xander turned him over on to his back, and climbed the top rope again. The crowd who were going nuts at seeing an 18 year old kid beat up a 400 pound man were going insane. You'd think the Giants just won the World Series.

Jumping off the top rope, Xander hit Viscera with a perfect elbow drop to Viscera's heart. He went for the pin.




The crowd went nuts as Demon Hunter X won his first match. On the outside, he showed very little emotion. On the inside, he was overjoyed. His friends in Sunnydale were happy for him. Buffy got what she always wanted. For one of her friends to have a normal life. Well, as normal as you can have being a professional wrestler.

In the back, the Undertaker was livid. His minion was supposed to get rid of Demon Hunter X. He'll have to think of something else. He looked at his followers and decided. "Brood, you three will attack him after he gets out of his shower. I do not want him making it to next week." Edge, Christian and Gangrel left to do the Undertaker's bidding. Little did they know, Xander had a quick shower after his match and was getting dressed in his spare wrestling gear. Xander's character, and he himself from watching all those movies and TV shows, knew Undertaker would retaliate at the earliest possible moment. His Willow did not raise no fool.

Chapter 4

Xander left his locker room with a slight smile on his face. He was going to get a drink. But, on his way there, he met the three guys that the Undertaker sent after him.

"There he is! Get him!" They chased Xander through the backstage area of the Cow Palace. Xander ran through an open door and jumped straight ahead, before his pursuers saw him. When he got to the other side of the door, he stood there and waited. When they saw him, Gangrel went after him first. He stopped, when he found himself hanging upside down in a snare trap.

Looking up at Gangrel, Xander said, "I can't believe you fell for that Bugs Bunny trap. What are you, an idiot?" Gangrel just swung there. There were no ladders for Edge or Christian to use. With no other option than to get Xander, Edge and Christian circled Xander. Edge was in front of him and Christian was behind him.

Xander took out his staff and twirled it around, waiting for them to make their move. Christian went to attack Xander, and ended up with a kick to his stomach. Xander followed up with an elbow strike to his temple. Seeing as how Xander was preoccupied, Edge grabbed him from behind. Xander stepped hard on his foot, turned around and punched him hard in the jaw. He then kicked Edge in the stomach, grabbed him around his head and fell backwards. Driving his head into the floor (DDT). This knocked Edge completely out.

Christian, seeing Xander on his back, decided to stomp on him. And he did, three times. As he looked around for a weapon, Xander quickly stood up. Xander tossed his staff to Christian. While he was catching it, Xander hit Christian with a shoulder tackle to his stomach. While Xander was on top of him, he proceeded to pummel him. He did not stop punching him until Christian stopped moving.

Xander looked around, and saw that two of his pursuers were out cold and one was hanging upside down. Wanting to hurt the Undertaker more, he decided leave Edge and Christian where they were. "Is this the best you got, Deadman?" Gangrel was left screaming for help.

Which the audience laughed at as the camera faded to black.

Back in Sunnydale

Buffy and Willow didn't know what to think. They were confused. What he did made no sense to them. Giles knew exactly what was going on, and he did not feel like telling.

"Giles, I'm going to the WWF and getting Xander out of there. He is getting in over his head."

"For God's sake Buffy, it's just a TV show. He's following a script. This is pro-wrestling. You do know that the Undertaker really isn't the leader of a cult, don't you? If you watch any TV show that is not the news, is it real or are they actors playing a role?"

"I don't care. Xander can get hurt. He needs to be protected. He is the normal one."

"I don't believe this. You mean to tell me you plan to go to a WWF event and beat up everybody? Are you out of your mind? They will have you arrested and sent to jail. How will that look on your resume? Not well I can tell you that. Just watch the show. This is his job. Let him do it. I'm sure he knows what he is doing."

"Alright, Giles. But if he gets into too much trouble, I'm going to get him." Willow silently agreed. Oz was worried that his girlfriend and her best female friend could not separate fantasy from reality. Vampires, demons and apocalypses were real and wrestling was staged. The rest of the show went off without a hitch. (A/N: I do not remember what went on in the WWF four years ago. So, instead of messing up, I will be focusing solely on Xander.)

The following Monday- Boise, Idaho

After the fireworks and theme music for Monday Night RAW were finished, Xander's music hit to a thunderous applause. This made Xander happy, that he was entertaining the crowd. As he was getting into the ring, the crowd was chanting, "DHX! DHX! DHX!"

"Last week, I took out the strongest, physically anyway, member of the Ministry. Just like I said I would. Hey Viscera, did you get the fruit basket I sent? Now everybody has been asking me, why did I pull the referee into Viscera's path. I'm here to tell you why. Since I've been doing this, demons do not fight by any rules. It was never a fair fight. You have to do whatever it takes to fight them and survive. If you do not, you will not see the sun the following morning." The gang in Sunnydale understood this.

"So, I did what I had to do to defeat a man five times my size and three times less my intelligence. Then, the Undertaker sends his three young followers after me. I knew the Undertaker would. So, earlier that night, I set up the snare trap that trapped Gangrel. You see Undertaker, you are the stereotypical bad guy. There is no move you can do that I can not counter. So how about tonight, you send the guy I snared last week. I'm sure he could get me."

Just then, the first few notes to "No Chance in Hell" hit. Mr. McMahon marched down to ringside. He looked happy to see the guy that saved his daughter from marrying the Undertaker. "Well Hunter, I would like to know where my daughter is. Her mother and I are very concerned."

"Don't worry, Mr. McMahon. She is perfectly safe from the Undertaker and his minions. In fact, she is well protected."

"Where is she? I just want to know where she is."

"She's in London being protected by MI-6. Being personally protected by James Bond." The crowd got a good laugh at that. "No, wait. She's in San Francisco being guarded by three sisters and a husband of one of the sisters." That got an even bigger laugh. "But seriously, folks. You have to have a sense of humor in my line of work. I sent her to the last place anyone would think of. The Mouth of Hell." Vince knew what he meant, but his expression was of non belief.

"What are you talking about?"

"I have family in the area that know the score and are more than willing and able to protect her."

Back in Sunnydale- 1630 Revello Drive

There was a knock on Buffy's door. Joyce went to answer the door. On the other side of the door, was a cleaned up Stephanie McMahon.

"Mrs. Summers, I presume?"


"My name is Stephanie McMahon. May I come in and talk to you please?" Joyce stepped aside, and silently invited her in. "Thank you. I have been asked by Xander to ask you if I could stay here for a couple of days. Wednesday or Thursday of this week, there will be a video crew here filming some spots for Monday Night RAW. The idea is for me to be hiding here and you people protecting me. It should not be too strenuous and we are willing to pay you $500 a day for your time.

Xander has told me about Buffy and she'll need to tone down a little, or a lot, of her actual strength. Her acrobatics are acceptable, but knocking our guys through walls isn't. Xander has also told me about Willow and she will need to not use any of her magic. Unless, it's magic we create in post production. To avoid 'nighttime' difficulties, we will be filming during the day. Other than that, it should be a lot of fun. So, do you have a room I can freshen up in?" Joyce showed her to the guest room. She'd make introductions after Stephanie got done freshening up.

Chapter 5

Xander waits in the ring for his opponent for the night, Gangrel. Gangrel's music hit, and any self respecting vampire would dust himself if it were his music. Let alone wear a white, frilly shirt. Must be an Anne Rice fan. Although, if Xander could, he'd switch all of Angel's black shirts with those white ones.

Gangrel walked towards the ring. He went to the second step, and turned to face the crowd. He took a drink of the "blood" and then spit it out. This was absurd to Xander. No vampire would spit his blood. If he just drank his drink, that would be fine. He left some on his face and shirt, and that was normal to Xander.

After his prematch ceremony, Gangrel entered the ring. He looked pissed at Xander, and at himself for falling for such an obvious trap. The Undertaker was shown earlier ripping him a new one. It was not pleasant.

The lights came on, and the bell rung. They circled each other for a moment, then locked up. Gangrel put Xander in a headlock. Xander hit him in the ribs a couple of times. This backed Gangrel up. Xander pushed him off, causing Gangrel to bounce off the ropes. Xander was knocked down when Gangrel ran into him. Thinking for a moment, Gangrel ran to the ropes and Xander rolled over, allowing Gangrel to bounce off the other rope.

Xander got up quickly. As Gangrel was rushing back, Xander caught Gangrel's left arm with his left arm (arm drag). As Gangrel got up, he ran at Xander. Xander caught his right arm and threw him. Using his own hip to help throw him over (hip toss). Gangrel got up again, at which Xander just kicked him in the stomach. Xander followed up with smashing his knee into Gangrel's head. After getting hit, Gangrel rolled out of the ring to think about what to do and get a breather.

As Xander was looking at Gangrel, Midion tried to attack Xander from behind using a chair. He swung as hard as he could, but Xander just shrugged it off. Seeing this, the referee called for the bell, disqualifying Gangrel for outside interference. When Midion saw that Xander did not go down, he got nervous. A kid his age should have gone down getting hit like that. Xander not moving did not register on his feeble mind.

Xander turned to face his attacker, and ducked when the chair was swung like a baseball bat. He kicked Midion in the stomach, at which time he dropped the chair. Xander proceeded to hit him with a DDT. He got up and saw Gangrel rushing at him. He grabbed Gangrel in a bear hug, and threw him over his shoulder (belly to belly suplex throw). Gangrel, still on his back, did not see Xander leave the ring momentarily and get two sets of handcuffs. Xander proceeded to handcuff Gangrel to the top rope like he was being crucified. To get Gangrel to stop kicking, Xander kicked him in the groin.

Xander grabbed the chair that was in the ring, and stalked over to Gangrel. Yelling at the top of his lungs, Xander screamed, "Is this the best you got, Undertaker? These guys aren't worth my time. Either you come out here and fight me, or I'll drive Gangrel's head into his shoulders." The Undertaker never showed up. The audience was quiet, anxiously awaiting what was about to happen. Xander lifted the chair over his head and came down hard on top of Gangrel's head. The sound of the chair hitting his head was eerie and the crowd went nuts. Xander just threw the dented chair onto the ring and left the two unconscious men in the ring.

As Xander was headed back to his locker room, he was met by announcer Kevin Kelley.

"Hunter. Hunter. Could I have a couple of minutes?"

"What do you want, Hermie?"

"Why are you going after the Undertaker?"

"It all started when I fell for a girl, figuratively and literally. She showed me the darkness that was out there. When I saw the darkness, something in me made it so that I couldn't not do anything. So, a few of us helped her fight the darkness. We have been doing this for a couple of years now. Friends became enemies, enemies became friends, saved people and lost people. This is all I know. When I am finished with the Undertaker, then like Caine, I will walk the earth. Until then, I'm going to bring Hell to the Undertaker and anyone who allies with him. Bye." Xander walks away, leaving a confused Kevin Kelley.

After the show was over, Vince met with Xander. He was pleased at what Xander was doing. That promo that he said, confused Vince. But not that much. He knew about Buffy, Willow and the rest, and laughed about the skateboard incident. "Stephanie called during a commercial break. She is in Sunnydale, and met with your friends. She really likes Mrs. Summers. Your friends are anxiously waiting for you. They like your costume, but they thought you were getting over your head and Buffy wanted to come here and protect you. Something about you being the normal one? What is that about?"

"It is just as it sounds. Buffy is a Slayer, Willow is a Wicca, her boyfriend Oz is a werewolf, and Buffy's ex-boyfriend is a vampire cursed with a soul. Me, I'm just human. No powers, no magic, nothing except my heart and my drive to help and protect my friends. They wanted me out, so I came here. This way, I can get my violence quota in and not die in the process. I'm going to patrol in costume just to see what happens. Whether the vampires are scared of me or want my autograph. I'm hoping for the latter."