Author: Koos van Winden <koosfanfic[at]hotmail.com>

Rating: G

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this fic. They belong to Whedon and Mutant Enemy.

Pairing: Xander/Anya

Beta: Keith.

Timeframe: S7 End of Days

Summary: Xander leaves Anya . . . again.

Feedback: Please do

Outside Buffy's House

"I trust you with my life," Anya said, repeating Xander's words, "I trust you with my life??"

Xander slowly nodded.

"You're my strength. You're the reason I made it this far. And that worked??" the ex-demon asked as if it was the most ridiculous thing in the world.

Xander nodded again, even more embarrassed this time.

"You are at her side. She said that? And what about me, Xander?"

Xander looked embarrassed to the ground. He knew she would be pissed off when Buffy had asked him to leave with Dawn.

"Where were your one-liners and great speeches this time?"

"Ann . . ." he tried.

"Oh, what a great heart she has. Oh, how wonderful she is. Well, at least you have a better excuse than the last time you left me, Xander!"

Xander looked away again, guilty at the pain he saw in her face.

She is a bitch, Xander. She doesn't give a damn about me, about the girls or me, or Giles, or me or-"

"Ann . . ."

"Well, I am still waiting for an explanation? Oh, wait there is none."

"You are just a little jealous," he tried.

Xander saw her shooting daggers at him. "Hell! Yes, I'm jealous! A lot jealous! And I hate you! I hope you have an accident. I wish . . . I wish you . . . No, that would hurt Dawnie . . . get electrocuted . . ."

Xander felt his heart sink to the ground. This was where he was so scared of. That he would leave her, knowing she would hate him for the rest of her life. "Ann. You know I love you. I love you so much. And . . . Look, I have to do this for her and Dawnie. I've lost my eye-"

"I hope it still hurts!" Xander was shocked by the rage in her voice. "I hope it hurts as much as I feel," she mumbled softly.

His heart clenching in pain he continued to try and explain. "Ann, Buffy she . . . she is scared."

"And I'm not!" she yelled furiously.

"Ann, you are the bravest person I've ever met," He saw the surprise in her eyes. "I-I mean, you have tortured more than a thousand years and . . . uh, correction worked more than a thousand years in a branch, uh, well, I mean, I know it hurts. I know you must be scared as hell, to go well, you know, to Hell. But you never complain. No like Spike or how Angel did. The confusion of becoming a human. The sorrow. It must be so huge. I know you feel the guilt, Ann. That's why I love you so much."


He flashed a smile at her. "Yes. And also for who you are."

Xander saw a little tear rolling from her left eye. "I wanted to die for them. For those frat boys. But D'Hoffryn took the chance away from me. And killed-"

"Hey, you did the right thing, Ann. Don't forget that."

She nodded and he saw her looking him straight in the eyes, filled with hope. "If you still love me, than why are you leaving?"

Xander stared at her for a moment. He sighed. "I don't want to leave. I want to fight, beside her. You know, like a hero. Die as a hero. But, I guess I won't. I'm gonna play suggar daddy for Dawnie."

"You two are humans. Too good to die as heroes. Not evil enough for Miss General."

"Ann, I go because tomorrow she needs her mind focused on the job. And not on-"

"On the weakest?"


"She only thinks of you in that way, Xan."

"Ann, she doesn't want to worry about me and Dawn."

"That's what I said. And all the heroic things you have done - that you stopped her from killing me - she forgets or maybe she just doesn't care."

"Ann, she cares and that was Willow. I-"

"Yes, you stopped Willow too," she quickly interrupted, "The most powerful being in this whole house. You are a hero, Xan. And you're only going because you love her."

Xander noticed that the sting of jealousy had left her tone. "And Dawnie," he added.

"So, you admit it?" He reluctantly nodded. "Like in a 'I love Willow' kind of way? Without the 'she is gay' thing, but still platonic? Like a brother-sister love?"

He smiled at her. "Yes."


Xander blinked, confused. "What?"

"Okay, you can leave."

"Just like that?"

He saw her smile before he felt her giving a kiss. "Yes, we have had our make-up sex."


"But, don't expect that with this whole hero speech from you that I'm gonna die."

Xander chuckled. "I never would."


Xander smiled. "Where is the chloroform?"

"In the living room. Kennedy is using it to stop the heart-wrecking hysterics from the dying girls."


They kissed one last time, a passioned farewell kiss, "Yes, we have had our make-up sex."


Anya looked at a fully tearful Andrew. "The others can think of him as Queen Buffy's court jester. But I know under that mask lies a brave Knight. In bright and shinin' armor. And he is mine forever," she stated proudly. She stared at the door he'd walked through and sighed. "My boyfriend has the biggest heart in world."

Andrew nodded, sniffing a bit.

"Too big. Do you know where that Tazer is?" Andrew nodded. "Good, let's find Dawn."