Hair of the Dog

A Buffy the Vampire Slayer Fanfiction Story

Author: Jason W Thompson <jwt6577[at]>

March 29, 2000

Disclaimer: Once upon a time there was a guy he wrote a story with characters and settings he didn't own, but he put a disclaimer on his story and that made it a little less illegal. BTVS and Angel are owned by Joss, Fox, Mutant Enemy, and the WB. I don't own anything except the situation characters are in.

Category: Xander/Harmony. PWP

Spoilers: Minor for season 4


Summary: Xander learns just how evil alcohol is.

Rating: NC-17

Distribution: You want MY story? How nice of you, please help yourself, but if it ends up on a site somewhere, drop me a line so I can show all my friends.

Notes: None.

Dedication: As always, dedicated to Princess, and the other Ficapalooza Smut Queens. Also dedicated to anyone who's had a drunken sex romp with someone you never thought you'd sleep with.

Xander Harris knew two things at the moment. One, his life sucked, big time. And more than just the usual suckiness too... He had a lousy job at the Penzoil oil change station, the latest in a long line of lousy jobs. He wasn't going to college, and his "Best friends for life" Buffy and Willow had slowly phased him out of their lives. That, he was used too, what he wasn't used to was Anya sleeping with Spike. That was a lovely new development. Come home from work, find Spike pounding into, his up until that moment, girlfriend Anya. It would be pretty safe to say that Xander would no longer be dating Anya.

The suck fest that was Xander's life was the first thing he knew. The second thing was that he was lit up the proverbial Christmas Tree, three sheets to the wind, in the tank, piss fucking drunk. Thanks in part to Willy the Snitch. Xander promised Willy a free oil change if he'd overlook the fact that he wasn't twenty-one, and Xander was going to drink 'til he either ran out of money, or passed out, or if there was any justice left on the Hellmouth, he was dead.


Xander did hear the feminine voice through the alcohol haze. He turned his head slowly, and found Harmony standing in front of him wearing a red mini-skirt, black boots, and a black shirt that had to be painted on. Maybe it was the alcohol, but GOD DAMN if Harmony wasn't FINE! Xander intended to say, "Harmony, don't you look sexy?" What he turned out saying was, "Harmony... Sexxzz."

Harmony smiled and sat on the stool next to him. "Thanks... I think, you were calling me sexy right?" Hey if Harmony was gonna be that fine, she didn't need to be intelligent. Xander nodded drunkenly, "Let me guess, girl trouble?"

"Yep, Spike... piece of shit... roomie... fucking my girlfriend." He paused trying to remember... he was supposed to remember something? "So, I... came here. and got drunk."

Harmony knew the whole, no soul, no remorse, no sympathy thing about Vampires. But this was different, her piece of shit ex, had screwed over Xander now. It wasn't remorse, it was a kindred spirit thing. "Come on Xander, I'll take you to my place and you'll sleep it off." She pulled Xander to his feet and led him out of Willy's.


The pair staggered onto Harmony's bed, but they were no longer stumbling because of Xander's drunkenness. They were staggering because at some point during the walk over, Xander had grabbed Harmony's ass, and Harmony who had walked into the bar to find a piece of ass for the night had all the encouragement she needed. Xander found himself on his back, with Harmony's extremely cold tongue so far down his throat that she could probably taste his toes. Her tongue was assaulting his mouth, driving him wild, he kept thinking that if all Vampires kissed like this that he should have taken Dru up on her offer during that love spell incident two years ago.

Harmony suddenly broke the kiss, earning a groan from Xander, then with a wicked smile she grabbed his shirt lapels and tore his shirt open, buttons flying everywhere. Harmony kissed the underside of his chin then trailed her tongue down his throat. Xander shivered from a combination of desire and the chill of her flesh. She kissed every inch of his chest paying special attention to his nipples bringing a moan from him as she bit one of them. She continued down his chest coming to his jeans which she quickly shed with some help from him as he kicked his shoes off.

Xander was left only in his boxers which were severely tented, Harmony shed his boxers. She wrapped her fingers around his rigid cock bringing another shiver from Xander. She took his cock into her mouth, and slowly bobbed her head up and down on it. She felt his hands tangle in her hair, she used her tongue sliding it along his shaft, and listened as Xander began to groan. She picked up speed and Xander gasped out her name before tensing and exploding into her mouth. She swallowed his cum, she licked her lips and ran a thumb along her chin making sure she got all of it.

She slid her body up his chest and kissed him hard. She then stood up, pulled her shirt over her head and slid her skirt to the floor, then she straddled him again, this time Xander took control, rolling her onto her back. He kissed her hungrily, massaging her breasts with one hand, and running the other up and down her thigh. Harmony moaned around his mouth. Xander broke their kiss and made his way to her breasts, he sucked one nipple into his mouth while worrying the other between his thumb and forefinger. "Mmm, Xander," Escaped Harmony's lips on a moan.

Xander started again down to Harmony's core. He slid two fingers into her and she arched into his hand. He slid his fingers in and out of her while taking her clit into his mouth. He slid his free hand up her stomach, he took her breast into her hand. Soon Harmony was tensing and arching into Xander's touch. She was panting and grinding her pussy into Xander's mouth, then screamed out his name as she came. She flopped back down onto the bed and hauled Xander up to her kissing him hungrily, Xander began to harden again, and at the feeling of heat on her stomach, Harmony smiled around his mouth and began to grind herself against Xander's erection. Xander began to pant before he pulled away long enough to flip Harmony onto her stomach, and before she knew what was happening, Xander slammed his cock into her from behind.

Harmony gasped as he began to pump into her. Xander shivered at the feeling of her cold inner walls wrapped tightly around his member. Between her inner muscles and her moaning, Xander was rapidly approaching climax. He reached around and rubbed Harmony off, as Harmony screamed out her second orgasm, she clamped down on Xander. Xander drove into her and came deep within her. Xander pulled out and flopped on the bed breathing heavily. Harmony curled up against him and pulled the covers over them. The room started swimming, and Xander promptly passed out.


Before Xander even opened his eyes, he was aware of his pounding temples and queasy stomach. He slowly opened one eye, seeing pink, nothing but blurry pink. He must have gone home with someone last night. His vision focused on a bottle of water and a bottle of Maximum strength Aspirin on a night stand. He silently thanked the girl who was kind enough to provide for him. He reached out and downed three aspirin and half the bottle of water. He sat up slowly and clamped his eyes shut, and covered his eyes. "Oh God, my head." The bed creaked and Xander felt legs wrap around his waist, and two very strong, very cold hands rub his temples.

The woman whispered in his ear, "How's my XanderBear's head this morning?" Xander's blood ran cold with horror as he recognized that voice.

Xander croaked out. "Harmony?"

Harmony wrapped her arms around Xander's neck, "Yes, lover?"

"Oh. my. GOD?!?!" Xander leapt out of the bed and began to pace. "Did we have sex?"

Harmony sauntered up to Xander, she was in red silk panties and a see through negligee. Xander's eyes roamed her body, he couldn't help himself, even though it was Harmony she still had an amazing body. "Oh yeah, you were amazing." It was only then as his cock tried to harden, that he realized he was completely naked. "What's wrong baby?"

Xander couldn't believe what had happened. "Why didn't you kill me?"

Her hands roamed over his chest, and Xander couldn't stop the shudder her touch caused, "Now, why would I do a stupid thing like that? Killing a sexual animal like you would be a crime against women everywhere." She pressed her body against him. "What do ya say Xander? You and I have some chemistry..."

Xander began shaking his head, even though it felt like it would pop off of his shoulders. "No... No, no, no, no. that would be..." Harmony licked his throat and Xander's mind and body suddenly weren't in agreement. His cock throbbed, aching to bury itself back inside her. He groaned, "W-w-w... a bad... not a good idea." Harmony sucked on his pulse point, "I mean, we shouldn't... cause you know... you're a vampire... and Buf-Buffy's my friend... and you and I have always hated. Oh God your tongue." He grabbed Harmony, and crushed her lips with his. They say a good hangover cure, is a little hair of the dog that bit you. Xander was willing to test that theory out.

The End