Hidden Memories

Author: lucindas43302 <lucindasiverling[at]hotmail.com>

Author: Lucinda

Rating: PG/PG-13

Story 2 in 'Hidden in the Past'

author: Lucinda

rating: pg

main characters: Logan, Ororo

disclaimer: Nobody from Marvel belongs to me.

distribution: please ask first.

note: this is intended to be part of a crossover story called Hidden in the Past, but it is not necessary to have read the first part to follow this section.

Ororo frowned as she watched Logan. He was staring at Jean, watching her as she played volleyball in the sunshine. There was a look in his eyes, one of frustration and longing that just... it set something off inside of Ororo. It wasn't right for him to watch her like that, to keep flirting with Jean despite her obvious involvement with Scott.

Why would he do it? Why did he keep pursuing someone that had not only made it clear that she wasn't interested, but was involved with someone else? The only way to find out would be to ask him.

He'd gone away for a while, seeking answers at an abandoned base the Professor had told him about. When he'd returned, he'd said that he'd found 'information, but not many answers'. She'd been the only one that he'd had seemed comfortable talking too, and they'd become almost friends.

"Logan? I was wondering... why do you persist in chasing Jean? Surely you have noticed that it isn't working?" Her voice held some of her frustrated confusion.

He looked up at her, his eyes a dark grey, like rain clouds. "Afternoon, Ro." He patted the ground beside him, an invitation to stay with him, something he didn't extend to the others.

For a few moments, there was silence, and she waited, wondering if he would answer her question. If he would explain his behavior.

"I've been having dreams. Dreams of being in a restaurant with a woman with red hair, the ocean at my back. Her hair gleams in the candle light, and I call her Jeannie. Or we're walking along a beach, the ocean tide washing over our feet. She loves me, and we're so happy together..." His voice was low, and she almost didn't hear his words.

Ororo felt astonishment flow through her. "Dreams? Logan, are you certain they aren't merely fantasies? Are you sure that it's the same Jean?"

"They feel real, the same way the nightmares about glass tubes and pain feel real. But I can't remember her face when I wake up. Just red hair, a soft loving voice, and calling her Jeannie. Remembering that we were happy, that she loved me." He was inspecting a blade of grass, as if it would reveal the secrets of the universe to him if he listened carefully.

Things made a certain sort of sense to Ororo now. "Do you think... these dreams might be fragments of memory? Are you remembering your past?"

"I think so. If I was involved with a redhead named Jean before, then maybe... maybe flirting with her is an effort to recreate my past. Sounds all... psycho babbleish. But I know... and I don't know. Only thing I'm sure of is that the dreams were good, a good time in my life and I want that back."

She hesitated a few moments, wondering how he would react to her suggestion. "Perhaps the Professor can help you unlock the memories? Maybe we can find out what happened?"

He frowned, his fingers crushing the blade of grass into a green smear over his thumb. "I don't like people poking into my head... but it just might be a good idea. After all, if I had a relationship, maybe... I want my life back, 'Ro. One of the few things I did learn was that the program made me forget, took away the memories of my past. What if there are things in my past that I need to put right? Things that I didn't finish?"

"I can understand your concern. Shall we go talk to the Professor now?" She didn't want to push too hard, didn't want him to pull away from her as well.

He stood up, offering her a hand if she wanted the assistance. "Yeah... might as well see if Chuck can make any sense out of my head."

She smiled at him, relieved that he wasn't angry at her questions. "Why do you persist in calling him that? You know it annoys him."

"Exactly." He grinned at her, an expression oddly mischievous. "To many people are awed by him. It would be a bad thing if he forgot that in the end, he's only human just like the rest of us."

She could only laugh as they went to find the Professor.