Down in the basement, Buffy was concentrating on putting the clothes in the machine rather than thinking about Xander who sat on the bottom step of the stairs. Xander, for his part, was rubbing his ear where Willow had grabbed it.
It wasn't his ear that hurt so much as his heart. Willow was right. They had problems and they weren't dealing with them.
One of the bad habits of the House of Scooby.
Xander stood up and moved beside Buffy.
*I wonder if we can settle this without the usual Buffy/Xander blowup.* Xander thought to himself.
"I.. um.. Buff.."
"WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?"
*Obviously not.* thought Xander as his temper flared.
"Not being all snuggle monkey to Angel for starters." Buffy stiffened.
"You were spying on me?"
"No."
"Oh, so you just happened to be in the neighborhood and decided to pop round to see your best friend Angel?" Buffy asked sarcastically.
"What I was doing at Angel's is my business, Buffy."
"So, what you do is your business and nobody else's but what I do is suddenly your business as well? You're such a hypocrite Xander."
"Hypocrite? Try a vampire loving vampire slayer. Look, I'm used to it; first Angel, then Spike. But Willow isn't. I broke her heart too many times before and I promised to God I'd never let it happen again. Damn you for breaking it now!"
"See! I can't do this anymore!"
"But you can do Angel."
"I don't love Angel! This has nothing to do with Angel!"
"Then what does it have to do with!" Xander demanded.
"YOU DIED!"
"I died."
"You died and Willow died. Because of me! As long as you two are with me I'm gonna get you killed!" Buffy's anger drained out of her and her eyes filled with tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks.
It all fell into place for Xander. Buffy feared getting them killed if Xander and Willow were with her. So Buffy started to push them away from her. If they weren't with her then she couldn't get them killed. It wasn't malice.
It was love.
The heat of the argument had gone, leaving cold hard truths in its wake.
"It's our choice Buffy. You didn't have a choice, that's why you're called the Chosen One. We did have a choice and we made it. As important you are to us you don't get a say in our choice."
"But you'll die."
Xander started pacing around in agitation.
"In all the years, in all the fights, I only died once. You, on the other hand, die so often you're a regular Kenny. It's like 'Oh my God! They killed Buffy! You bastards!'"
Xander slumped down on the bottom step, a defeated look on his face
"Three times Buffy. Three times you lay dead at my feet. First time the Master killed you and I brought you back. Second time you killed yourself and we all brought you back. The last time... I killed you."
"You saved us."
"I murdered you and Willow. I knew that when I used the Heartstone that I'd kill the two people I loved more than anything in the world. I only wish you would've let me stay dead like I deserved."
"NO!" Buffy yelled at the young man, startling him with her vehemence. She hauled Xander to his feet and dragged him into the middle of the basement.
"We're not them. Say it!"
Xander looked at her uncertainly.
"Uh?"
"We're not them! Say it!" Buffy demanded poking him in the chest.
"Er, you're not them?"
Buffy poked him harder.
"Say it like you mean it!"
"You're not them."
"Louder!" Buffy shoved Xander back a step.
"You're not them!" stated Xander forcefully.
"Do you love us or them?" another shove, harder this time.
"You."
"Who?" this shove drove Xander into the washing machine and he could feel the heat rising inside of him.
"YOU!" Xander bellowed at the top of his lungs, the fire in his eyes mirrored by Buffy's own. The two of them were breathing heavily now and the air was thick with tension.
And raw passion.
They descended upon each other in a wave of lust.
The outcome of our fight shouldn't have been a surprise. We were fighting, which tends to get Buffy all worked up. Call me a masochistic idiot but Buffy is dead sexy when she's pissed off.
Second, we were in the type of place that had all the major features of all my major lusty moments. It was a dark, dank, place (Cordy, Willow, Anya). It was a basement (Cordy, Anya). It was Buffy's basement (Cordy). The smell of detergent reminds me so strongly of all those lusty moments that I get a hard on at the smallest hint of it in the air. I can't walk into a Laundromat without risking getting arrested.
Don't look at me like that.
Yes, it's kinky and a little weird. But the whole damn Scooby Gang is seriously weird and kinky. Willow has a rented shoesleatherBDSM kink going on, while Buffy has a spankingexhibitionistrole playing thing happening. As for me, you can add Buffy and Willow kink to my list. Their kinks are my kinks. I'm so their bitch.
Don't even ask about Giles. I don't know and I don't wanna. Being a respectable, upper class, British guy, it's bound to be seriously fucked up.
Don't. Wanna. Know.
Xander is the most frustrating human alive. He spent so much of the past few months telling me and Willow that we weren't 'them', that we could never be 'them'. But it seems that some of Xander's issues with 'them' have carried over to 'us'. 'They' were the biggest pair of queen bitches long before they became the embodiment of the First Evil. Fine, Xander has problems with 'them' (which is both understandable and fully justified), but 'we' ain't 'them' and it's pissed 'me' off.
I've never screwed a vampire; I like my honeys to have a heartbeat and either long red hair or brown puppy-dog eyes.
'I' am not 'her'.
'We' are not them.
Very simple concept which Xander had trouble getting.
Then he started beating himself up over 'them'.
It was time for his lesson.
Started with a simple concept.
We're not them.
Xander had the cutest little Hugh Grant moment as his brain and his ears failed to communicate. Cute, but totally not what I wanted right then and it pissed me off further.
So I repeated it with more feeling and a chest poke for punctuation.
Pathetic response.
Repeat, more force, demand more.
Better, but not quite there.
Push him, burn it into his brain with the heat of his anger. Challenge him. Piss him off.
Much better.
Push him further, test him, stoke the fire.
One last time, fan the flames, the final push, the final test.
Perfect.
I had lit the fires of raw emotion in him, his eyes flared with their intensity.
He looked so hot and suddenly pure crazed lust filled me.
Must. Fuck. Now.
This was totally different from anything that we'd done before. We didn't gently kiss and shed each other's clothes. We attacked each other's lips and ripped clothes off.
Literally. I actually tore Buffy's shirt off, ripped it down the middle and threw the pieces away. Buffy ripped open my jeans with such force that the metal button flew off and ricocheted off the washing machine with a loud ping.
Once naked we continued our frenzied assault on each other.
Sounds bad, but it wasn't. It wasn't like Spike and BitchBuffy. It wasn't about inflicting pain. We loved each other deeply.
It's just that with the combination of a heated argument, the setting, and the fact that neither of us had had sex for ages meant that it was going to be intense and extreme.
Extreme sex.
No, wait; back that thought up for a moment.
We make tender love a lot. Occasionally (particularly after patrol) we'd have hot, horny sex. But this was beyond that.
We fucked.
It was hardcore, take no prisoners, fucking.
Last one to cum wins.
Xander didn't muck about. He got down on his knees, spread my legs and dived face first into my pussy. It felt like he was trying to crawl into my uterus tongue first.
Speaking of which, he can't be human. No human has a tongue that long or that skilled. I damn near lost it as his tongue hit my G spot. And my H spot. And my I spot. Shit, my X, Y, and Z spot got a work out too. I damn near came right there and then. But I didn't. I wasn't about to give in to the wondrous sensations he was filling me with.
Besides, two could play at that game.
Have I ever mentioned how much I love going down on a woman?
No?
Well, let's just say I love it A LOT. And judging by the reactions of the recipients of said activity, they love it too.
I would have been perfectly happy spending the rest of the night buffing Buffy's muff, but she had other ideas. She shoved me away from her.
Hard.
I landed half way across the room, ass first on the remains of my jeans.
Now I'm gonna have to defend myself at this point. If you were in the middle of the hottest, hardcore sex of your life, with a horny Buffy wearing nothing but a very, VERY wicked smile that promised extreme sexual ecstasy in your immediate future, you'd miss a few things too.
Like your ass breaking a medallion in your jeans pocket.
That. Fucking. Medallion.
I loved the feeling of power I got when I took his cock into my mouth. His most sensitive and precious part being caressed by my mouth and tongue and the occasional scrape of teeth reminded him of the power of pleasure or pain I had over him.
And he loved every second of it.
In all the time we've been together I've learned a few things about turning Xander on and getting him off. In the absence of Willow (Xander really, REALLY loves to watch) I had to fall back on the old reliable methods.
When we first started getting intimate I had to admit both Willow and I were worried. Xander had years of sexual experiences while the sum total of our experience with guys consisted of the handjob I gave Cory O'Donnell just before I became the Chosen One. So in true Scooby fashion Willow suggested that her and I have a research weekend at her place. What Willow calls a research weekend, others would call a weekend of surfing porn on the internet. One area of particular interest was the art of giving head. It fascinated me; I wanted to learn more, to experiment with different techniques. Xander, for his part, willingly became my guinea pig.
I had Xander completely at my mercy as I sucked his cock in the basement. I looked him straight in the eyes as I grabbed his cock and run my tongue along the underside of his balls and shaft. His salty pre-cum flowed freely and I licked that up too.
Taking his purple head in my mouth, I started sucking on him in earnest. Slayer Suction he calls it. I sucked on him like I was trying to suck a golf ball through a garden hose and made slutty sucking and slurping noises in the process which only added to the turn on for Xander.
After a few minutes of that it was time to try a new and untested weapon in the war to get Xander off.
A hummer!
Buffy gave me a hummer!
Sweet merciful Jesus! Where did she learn that?
I went cross eyed at the sensation of the deep-throated hummer.
I wanted to cum. I was going to cum.
Baseball, Chaos demons, Spike; I tried every unsexy thought to delay the inevitable explosion that was imminent.
I was literally paralysed with ecstasy. Buffy was moments away from winning and there wasn't a damn thing I could have done to stop it.
Thank god for Slayer horniness.
I tried to ignore it, tried suppress it, but it would not be denied.
I had Xander on the ropes. Another minute or so and he would cum and I would win. But the cravings coming from between my legs demanded to be sated. Nothing sort of Xander being deep inside me, thrusting into me, filling me with seed would quench the fire I felt.
I got up and the look of disappointment on his face disappeared when he saw what I wanted.
I walked up to the washing machine, spread my legs, bent over, and thrust my ass into the air in invitation.
Enough with the side dishes, it was time for the main course.
Buffy wasn't playing fair. Her firm smooth legs, her tight ass, her wet and swollen pussy. There was no way possible that I wouldn't plunge my dick balls deep inside her.
Buffy wanted a good, deep, dicking and I gave her one.
Few things beat going the dog with Buffy.
I eased my way inside her, relishing the feeling of her gripping me with her inner muscles. Grabbing her hips I started thrusting into her hard. The steady beat of her ass slapping up against my hips, the jiggle of her breasts, the moaning/grunting noise we made, it was all music to my ears.
The familiar tingle in my balls warned me that that shot clock was ticking down and unless I worked a miracle I was gonna loose that game.
Then I saw it.
My salvation.
Buffy's doom.
I was close, really close to orgasm, but I knew Xander had only seconds to go.
That's when he pulled out of me, spun me around to I was facing him, sat me up on top of the washing machine and recommenced fucking me.
He wasn't looking at me, he was looking at the dial on the washing machine.
Why was he...
There was a click.
He looked up at me with triumph in his eyes and an evil smirk. He spoke two words.
"Spin cycle."
The universe exploded into the million colours of our orgasms.
Waking up was never a pleasant experience for Buffy, even at the best of times. Waking up naked on the cold floor of her basement was even less so. She stretched and rolled over.
And came face to face with herself.
With a startled flick she rolled over and away from her body which was now awake and staring at her in shock. Rapidly they got up and stood gaping at each other for a moment.
"What the hell..." Buffy started to say then stopped.
It wasn't her voice that came out of her mouth. Looking down at herself she got the shock of her life.
A penis.
She had a penis.
Xander's penis to be exact.
Buffy looked up to see her body reach between its legs in panic only to find nothing.
Buffy gazed at her body and a realization dawned on her.
"Xander?" she asked tentatively. Buffy's body blinked at her then did a very un-Buffy like thing.
It fainted.