It's A Frog

Author: Lucinda <lucindasiverling[at]>

rating: pg

main characters: Xander Harris, Michigan J Frogg

disclaimer: I own nobody from BtVS or Looney Toons distribution: XanderZone, TNL, Twisting, Paula, anyone else please ask.

note: this is just for laughs. I said to myself - what two things are the most bizarre possible crossover? How can I make it work?

Okay, so there were times when the wonderful career of construction had a strong resemblance to a wrecking crew. This was actually one of those times, and Xander Harris wasn't certain if he liked it or not. Yes, it was oddly stress relieving to watch walls topple with great clouds of dust, but... it was also hot, sticky, and he was sweating profusely. Pausing to wipe the sweat from his bow, he noticed something in the corner of the now demolished seventy year old building. It sort of looked like a shoebox, tied closed with a couple loops of twine.

Curious, Xander picked up the box, noticing as he did that something inside rattled just a little bit. It was a dry rattle, as if whatever was inside was dry, and it sounded like... hmm... one bigger thing, and one small thing. Except that big was clearly relative here. He tucked the box off to the side, intending to take it away with him when the day was over. Maybe he could have Giles take a look, just in case it was something hellmouthy…

There was barely any rattle at all when his picked it up to go home. Actually, the box seemed to feel a bit heavier, although it was still easy enough to carry. His mind was churning in all sorts of directions, and he just couldn't quite help himself. He went right to his apartment and began to untie the twine. Removing the lid, he looked inside, half wondering if he'd just made a big mistake.

There was a large bullfrog in the box. With a tiny cane and top hat.

As Xander was still trying to figure out why in the world anyone would make a frog sized cane and top hat, the frog in question did a very odd thing. It grabbed the cane, and then put the hat on it's head, and hopped out of the box, landing on the coffee table. The frog then stood on it's very long hind legs and burst into a song and tap dance routine. "Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal…"

"Oh my god…." Xander's jaw dropped as he saw the very frog that had been the bane and frustration of… of a hapless construction worker on some of the old Looney Toons cartoons. The frog that would sing and dance, but not in front of any sort of extra audience. "Oh man, oh man…"

What could he do with a sort of singing frog? Thinking quickly, Xander put the frog back in the box, and made his way to the apartment that Willow and Tara shared. Maybe he could borrow what had once been Willow's aquarium to keep the frog in until he had some idea what to do with it? The singing continued until he actually knocked on the door.

Willow answered it, looking a bit rumpled, and puzzled. "Xander? What are you… What's in the box?"

Xander laughed a bit nervously. "Can I borrow your terrarium?"

"I suppose so. It's over there…" She lifted the lid just a bit, and there was a deep croaking noise.

Willow went pale, and pushed the lid down forcefully. "Xander, why do you have a frog in a top hat in this box?"

"err… I found him?" How could he explain this? Even the truth sounded way to weird.

"Right. Take the terrarium, just… get the frog out of here." She pulled her hands away from the box, looking at it distrustfully. "There's just something wrong with a frog in a top hat."

So Xander took the terrarium home, and set the frog into it. After hopping the length of the tank, the frog made a sort of noise, almost like it was clearing its throat. He promptly started his song and dance routine again.

And kept it up the whole weekend.

By the time Monday had rolled around, Xander was strongly considering asking Buffy to slay the frog. Maybe if they staked it, cut it into bits, and burned the body, it would stop? He felt like he was loosing his mind.

Then, as he was flipping channels to the background of yet another round of 'Ragtime Gal', he saw a flicker of that cartoon. With a small smile, he remembered the way that the guy in the carton had finally got rid of the frog. Hey, he could follow tradition when it mattered. They would be laying a new foundation across town tomorrow, if they sealed up the frog in the foundation… Even if it kept singing, he wouldn't hear it.

And so that's precisely what Xander did. With great relief, he drove home, entering a silent apartment. By the time he was finished with dinner, he was even humming happily.

Right up until the moment he realized that he was humming that same song.