It's All About Family

Author: Ed Scott <EScott92[at]>

Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners... none of who are me.

Summary: Starting during 'Helpless.' Xander reveals his extended family that he swore Willow to silence about.


Crossovers: Sopranos

Rating: PG 13. Maybe R. I'm not sure yet.

Feedback, It's the coin of the realm.

Chapter 1

"Giles! There's something wrong with Buffy. She tried pulling a football player off a girl and couldn't move him an inch. What's going on?"

Giles looked away from Xander. "It's nothing Xander. She'll get better in a couple of days."

Xander could tell he was lying. No one, but Willow, would believe what he was about to do. He turned Giles around, grabbed him by the vest of his suit and shoved him against a wall hard. Giles hadn't seen such intense rage since his Ripper days.

"You're lying, Giles. Tell me the truth, or I'll be forced to hurt you." Giles knew this wasn't an idle threat.

"Buffy is being tested. The test is called the Cruciamentium. On her 18th birthday, a Slayer is stripped of her powers and forced to fight a starved vampire. Four out of five Slayers fail this test." Satisfied with this answer, Xander releases the man he has started considering his father.

"Who's running the show, Giles?"

"Quentin Travers. He's the head of the Watchers Council. He's similar in power as Principal Snyder." Xander knew that meant if this guy wasn't the head guy, he wouldn't be anything of importance. While Xander was figuring out Quentin's importance, Buffy and Willow entered the library.

"Where is he putting himself up, Giles?"

"The old Williamson Mortuary."

Xander was forming a plan. He never thought he'd do what he was planning.

"I have to go. I need to call my family."

"How are your folks going to help you, Xander?" Buffy asked.

"Not them. My Uncle Tony in Jersey." Xander's Uncle Tony was a name Willow hadn't heard in years.

"Are you sure that's wise, Xander?" Concern was clear in Willows voice.

"Xand, what's going on? What are you planning?"

"Giles will tell why I'm doing and then Willow will tell you who I'm contacting. After she tells you, Buffy, stay here. Don't come looking for me. It will be better if you don't know what I'm doing. You won't like it." Xander left two confused girls in the library.

"Giles, what's going on here?" The girls went from confused to angry as Giles told them everything about what he did. He regretted doing what he did, and hoped to repair the damage he caused.

"You bastard. How could you? I thought you cared about me." Buffy was in near hysterics when Giles told her he drugged her.

"If I didn't, they would have sent me back to London and sent someone who doesn't care about you. I'm terribly sorry."

In trying to change the subject, Willow decided to tell about Xander's relatives. "Xander's mother is the sister of Tony Soprano. He is allegedly the head of organized crime in the New York and New Jersey areas. He hasn't spoken to his uncle or aunt in ten years. At first, he thought it was cool to be related to gangsters. He never told anyone, except me or Jesse, because he thought no one would believe him. If he is contacting family he hasn't spoken to in such a long time, he must be really mad."

Buffy and Giles were stunned at the news of Xander's family. Ripper, on the other hand, was delighted at that fact. But Giles held those feelings in check. "We have to stop him, if he intends to kill anyone." For some reason, Buffy went with the worst case scenario.

As Xander was trying to leave school, he was stopped by Principal Snyder. "Where do you think you are going, Harris?"

Xander, really pissed off, turned around to the little troll and his eyes scared Snyder half to death. "I have a family emergency. A member of my family is being hurt and I'm going to see if there is anything I can do to help. Don' t piss me off, little man. If you do, you won't die, but you'll wish you were dead." Xander turned around and left Snyder where he was.

[Hello, Soprano residence. How may I help you?]

"Hello Aunt Carmela. This is Xander in California. Mary's son."

[Oh my God! Xander? How have you been? It's been ages since your family has called here. Is Mary ok?]

"Mom is fine, Aunt Carmela. I need to talk to Uncle Tony. Is he there? It' s important."

[He's not. Would you like his cell phone number?]

"That would be great." She gave Xander the number. "I'll call you back in a couple of days, Aunt Carmela. Then I will tell you what has been happening here for the last ten years. Good bye. I'm glad I called you. Give my best to Meadow and Anthony."

[It was good talking to you too, Xander. Good bye.] She hung up the phone, happily knowing her sister's family finally called.

It took five rings before Xander heard a voice he loved talking to when he was seven years old.


"Uncle Tony? This is Xander in California."

[Xander? How are you doing? How's your mom?]

"Moms good. I want you to know upfront that I know what you really do for a living, and I don't hold it against you. I need to know if you have any pull with INS. I need to get a Brit off American soil. He's trying to hurt a friend of mine. And if he is threatened with jail time, he'll leave and never return. If you come here in a couple of days, I'll tell you everything. If you do, bring Uncles Paulie and Silvio. You'll see where I get my sense of humor from."

[Give me a few minutes then I'll call you back. Are you near a payphone?]

"I'm home. The nearest payphone is in town and it will take me awhile to get to it."

[Ok. I'll call your house in a few minutes. Wait for my call. It was nice talking to you kid.] Tony hung up, then went to go outside to use a payphone. He grabbed a calli8ng card on the way out.

"Where are you going, Tone?"

"You remember Mary's kid, Xander? He called me. Something about needing a favor. I'm going to call and get more info out of him." He heads outside.

[Hey, kid. I do know someone in immigration. Why do you need help with that?]

"You might think I'm crazy. But it depends. Do you know that vampires are real?" When Xander didn't hear a click, he assumed that his uncle believed him. "My friend is a Slayer. Mystical fighters of vampires. The guy wanting to hurt her, I'm assuming is very influential in England. But then again, he's not in London. If I can get him to leave by threatening to invalidate his passport, he might leave. If not, let's just say that he will need some new shorts." Xander heard Tony laugh at that statement.

[Ok you got it. I'll be there in two days. I haven't seen Mary in a long time. Carmela would like to come too when I tell her.]

"Thank you, Uncle Tony. I'll see you in two days. Give my best to Uncle Paulie and Silvio."

Chapter 2

It was twelve-thirty in the afternoon and Xander was observing the mortuary. He has observed that the only people to leave the mortuary were too young to be Travers. This could only mean he's not there, or he sees no choice in going outside. He might fear that someone he knows might see him, and that might ruin his plans.

'Ok. Let's see what I have to work with. With hanging out with Buffy, I have learned how to be stealthy. Also, sneaking past my drunken father has made me stealthy as well. On top of that, I have my father's revolver hidden in the waistband under my shirt. I really hope this works.'

As the guy goes to enter the mortuary, Xander follows him. Doing his best not to be noticed. As the young Watcher enters the mortuary, Xander quickly follows him in. The Watcher that entered the building was knocked out by a left jab. Xander withdrew his gun in preparation for what he was going to do.

He found Quentin just sitting with his back to the door. Not even paying attention to Xander pointing a gun to the back of his head. The other Watcher was about to defend Travers when he realized that the young man had a gun and he didn't.

"Excuse me, Mr. Travers. My name is Xander Harris. I'm here to tell you that Buffy's test is here by cancelled permanently, or your passport will be invalid in the United States. What is your answer?"

"Young man, you have no idea what you are meddling in. That test has been going on for centuries. It's tradition." How Travers kept his underwear stained free when he heard Xander pull back the hammer on his gun confused Xander momentarily. He must have been used to guns. But, a guy with his attitude has probably never been in a fight before, or ever seen a vampire.

"Mr. Travers, I have a gun pointed at your head. Why you are not quivering is amazing. However, I am more than willing to kill you if you do not leave this country and never return. Knowing that you are not the type of person to believe my threat, believe me when I tell you that if I don't I have family who will arrange your death."

"And just who is your family?" Travers was seeing if he could beat Xander's bluff.

"My uncle is Tony Soprano." Quentin Travers sat up straighter in his chair at the mention of that name. "I see you've heard of my Uncle Tony. Since I am family, I'm sure you know that if they find out you or the Watchers Council have anything to do with any of our deaths, that you will be living on borrowed time. This is your only chance to live a long life. So what is your answer?"

The Watcher that Xander initially knocked out tried to rush at Xander. That was a futile attempt, considering how many times he had been rushed by vampires. Xander rolled out of the way, allowing the Watcher to knock into Travers. If Xander was watching this scene in a movie, he would have laughed. The other Watcher tried to get out of there, but Xander quickly rose to his feet and shot at the wall near the Watcher that Xander did not knock out.

"Stay right there. I have more bullets than you guys and if you push me too hard, I will not hesitate to use them. Why are you trying to get control of a situation you have no control over? Are you guys that stupid? You have to know that you are over matched here."

Travers stood up slowly, not taking his eyes off the gun that Xander had. He thought that he had thought of everything that he could think of. He thought Buffy's friends did not help her that much. He should have read Giles' diaries better. He would have read how loyal her friends are to each other. He vowed that if he got out of the situation alive, that he would take care of this kid. Completely forgetting who his family is.

"Ok, Mr. Harris. We shall leave and nothing will happen to you or your friends." There was something in Travers' body language that told Xander that he was lying. It was the same posture that Giles had earlier when he lied.

"You're lying, Quentin. Give me one reason why I should believe you." His silence told Xander he had no reason. "So, the way I see it, I can either shoot you, or feed you to the vampire you have hidden here, wait for him to get finished with you three, then kill him. Either way, you're not living to see the night." This is a stone cold bluff. Unlike the threat he gave Angelus a year earlier. But, like then he was capable of showing a hard face when needed.

The young Watchers looked at Xander's eyes and saw that he was not bluffing. They wanted to live. "Excuse me, Mr. Harris. If we guarantee that nothing bad will happen to you or your family, will you allow us to leave?" Xander liked that this guy was more concerned with living than tradition. Since one of Quentin's underlings asked that question, he decided to agree. At which the Watchers were glad.

"By the way, Rupert Giles is here by fired. His replacement will be sent here shortly." This statement was the last thing Quentin Travers ever said because he had a bullet in his brain.

"I really did not want to do that, but he did not know when to shut up. Will the other Watchers be upset that he is dead?" The two surviving Watchers shook their heads. "Ok then, show me where the vampire you have here is so I can get rid of him." The two Watchers led Xander into the basement, where the vampire they had for Buffy's test was kept. Xander saw a vampire in a straight jacket. Xander put a bullet in it's head. It did not kill the vampire, but it knocked it out long enough for Xander to break a table leg and use it.

"Now gentlemen, I suggest that you go back to England and report to your bosses what has happened here. Make sure you tell them who I am related to and what could happen if they try anything against us here." The Watchers nodded and then left. Thankful that it was only one thirty in the afternoon.

Xander slowly made his way back to the high school library. When he got to Giles, he handed him his gun. He entered Giles' office, and proceeded to empty his lunch into the trash can. Giles concluded that something dreadful had happened. Having killed a friend of his when he was younger, Giles understood what Xander was going through. He would help Xander anyway he could. He hoped to save Xander's sanity.