"No."
"But-"
"I said no."
"But-"
SIGH
"Oh, not you too, Willow..."
"Well, she just knows I'm right..."
"No, you're not."
"But-"
"Buffy! Do you have any idea what you're asking me?"
"Yes."
"What?"
"I'm asking-"
"Ahem..."
"We're asking for you to splash yourself with cold water and become a girl fo-"
"THAT! That's it! That's why!"
"That's why what?"
"THAT's why I won't do it. Because you're asking me to change into a...a..."
"Girl..."
"Buffy!"
"But, Xander, it's only for an hour or so."
"And hour too long for me."
PAUSE
"Xander, it's not like we're asking you to do this for our enjoyment. We need you. You're the only virgin-"
"Ha..."
"Well, you are a virgin as a girl."
"And it will stay that way."
"Right. Anyway, we just need you to lure the demon with your girl body so that we can find it and kill it..."
"Can't you-"
"No, Xander. We need you. Besides, as you've said, you're a demon magnet..."
"Well, I-"
"And I promise I'll make it worth your while..."
"Huh?"
"I'll-"
WHISPER
"That's after I turn back into a guy, right?"
THWACK
"Ouch!"
"You are such a-"
"Lovely darling who is going to do as you ask?"
"Yes..."
KISS
"Aw...you two are too cute..."
"Aren't we?"
"Now, I've got to go get the cold water. Be back in a minute..."
CLACK, CLACK, CREAK
"Better get your Xander-luvin' now, Buffster..."
"Xander..."
"Unless Willow's been-"
T H W A C K
"Ah! Don't bruise the merchandise!"
"I'm gonna-"
CREAK, CLACK, CLACK
"Ready for the water, Xander?"
MOAN
"As ready as I'll ever be to give up my manhood for the sake of humanity..."
"For which we thank you, Xander..."
"Yeah, yeah...I know you just want to oogle me, Willow..."
GIGGLE, SIGH
"Oh, Xander..."
SPLASH
"Oh God..."
"You're a really pretty girl, you know..."
"Thanks."
"I'm sure that the demon will come after you very quickly looking like that..."
"Again with the thanks, plus a side of 'please don't talk about it anymore'."
"Okay, Xan. I guess we can agree to that..."
"Yeah."
"And, I promise to go back to Tome Springs so we can maybe figure out a cure..."
"You weren't going to before?"
PAUSE
"Yeah."
"Damm straight.
"Yup."
"Now, let's get this done with quickly. I want to get this over with as soon as possible."
TWO DAYS LATER
"How could you!"
"We didn't know the demon liked to-"
"Well, you could have researched!"
"And waited for more girls to die while we found out that-"
"Don't even say it. I have blocked the event out of my mind."
"But-"
"No 'but's...You two owe me some serious groveling..."
"With or without cookies?"
"It's me. Cookies are mandatory..."
"What about me?"
"You still owe me-"
WHISPER
"Yeah...with the cookies?"
"You're a genius, Buffster-"
"Yeah."
"But you still owe me for that one."
"Darn."
"You know, Xander, it wasn't all that bad. All you had to do was help the demon pick-"
"DON'T!"
"Sorry..."
SIGH
"Will, it was that bad. You have no idea how hard it was to find a dress in the mauve color that matched his eyes..."
"And the shoes..."
"Dear lord, the shoes..."
"Why can't we get any normal demons here?"
"Well, at least he let you go after you explained about how he shouldn't kill his outfit coordinators..."
"Yeah..."
"And I still want that purse he-"
"It is NOT a purse!"