"Every sound shall end in silence, but silence never truly ends"
- Unknown
He hated this.
Hated not knowing what was coming. Then again that was the story of his life. Living in Sunnydale was like living with a blindfold on. You never knew what was coming until it was too late. And that got many people killed.
Good people.
Xander Harris, former member of the Scooby Gang, sighed as he passed the hundredth cactus today. The desert was not something he liked, but had to pass through it. His old car basically sucked, but it took him farther this time. With some luck, it would take him out of this damned state.
He sighed again, as memories of the past filled his mind. Old memories of Jesse, Willow, and himself all playing as kids. Later on going to school, having fun hanging out.
Then Buffy came…
He wondered what it would have been like if he never met her or joined her on the vampire slaying patrols she did. Xander never hated her. He couldn't hate her. In fact he pitied her. Finding 'love' with a vampire, soul or no soul, was something he could not understand. In a way he could understand it with Angel, but with Spike? With a sigh he hit the gas a little more, moving the car along the road.
He just couldn't get what he heard and saw out of his mind. Xander was so tempted. So tempted to just end it all. Who would miss him in the end?
No one.
But then…they would win. The same creatures he fought in his nightmares and in his real life. Creatures that only he knew about.
His personal demons.
With a sigh he gunned the car faster, and sat back in the seat. It was times like this he wished he drank or smoked.
Xander: (sighing) Right like that'll ever happen. (chuckling) Great…now I'm talking to myself. Sure sign of going crazy.
With another chuckle, he turned the radio of the old Ford on. He needed music to take his mind off his troubles.
Radio: …and that was Linkin Park with Crawlin'. This is 92.3 k-rock, California's number one rock station. Next up we have this single from Garage Inc., here is Metallica with Turn the Page.
Xander, sighed as he resisted closing his eyes. This song was one of his favorites by Metallica. He put his elbow on the door and put his had up against his palm and listened, letting the music wash over him.
On a long and lonesome highway east of Omaha You can listen to the engines, Moanin out as one long song You can think about the woman, or the girl you knew the night before
Xander chuckled at that last line, thinking about the Buffy he knew long ago, as well as others.
But your thoughts will soon be wandering the way they always do When you're riding sixteen hours and there's nothing much to do You don't feel much like ridin', you just wish the trip was through
But here I am, on the road again
Here I am, up on the stage
Here I go, playing the star again
There I go, turn the page
You walk into a restaraunt, strung out from the road And you feel the eyes upon you, as you're shaking off the cold You pretend it doesn't bother you, but you just want to explode And most times you can hear 'em talk, other times you can't
He ran a hand through his hair as tears started to come out of his eyes. The song was starting to get to him.
All the same 'ole cliches: is that a woman or is that a man? And you always seem outnumbered, you dare not make a stand, make your stand.
His hands started to grip the wheel tighter. He was Xander, and it was damn time he made his stand. Even if he had to stand alone.
But here I am, on the road again
Here I am, up on the stage
Here I go, playing the star again
There I go, turn the page
Out there in the spotlight, your a million miles away Every ounce of energy, you try to give away And the sweat pours from your body, like the music that you play Later in the evening, as you lie awake in bed With the echos of the amplifiers, ringin' in your head You smoke the days last cigarette, rememberin' what she said
The solo of the guitar washed over him like water. Then he felt something at that single moment. He felt light, as if something was lifted off his shoulders. For the first time since passing the Sunnydale border, he smiled.
Yeah, here I am, on the road again
There I am, up on the stage
Here I go, playing the star again
There I go, turn the page
There I go, turn the page
There I go
There I go
Xander turned off the radio, the smile still on his face. The song held a special meaning for him. It was time Xander Harris turned the page of the book called his life, to a new chapter.
It was time for a new beginning.
Bedlam, formerly a Native American, now cursed with the Chaos talisman that allowed him to go between time and space, stood there in the white room. He had always heard of this place, but never thought it was real.
To be honest he felt a little under dressed. He had on a pair of dark charcoal gray jeans, cowboy boots, a black button shirt, and a black leather duster. With a sigh of frustration he took off his black cow boy hat and ran his hand through his long black hair. He put it back on, and took out a cigarette put it into his mouth…rather his teeth.
It was part of being cursed with the Chaos talisman. He had no face, rather having a skull face. No eyes, no mouth, or nose. Yet, he could still smoke and crack jokes.
As he was about to light up, a man, in his mid to late thirties appeared. He had on clothes similar to what he had on. For one thing, the other man had blonde hair, almost gold. The man had a pair of black dress pants; a white shirt tucked in and black boots. The final touch was the black jacket he had on. All in all he looked normal…save for the large broad sword hanging off his back. A very big sword that was almost as big as he was tall.
Bedlam: Nice sword mate.
The man simply smiled at him.
Man: Nice guns. Pair of classic Colt .45's right?
Bedlam's bonny mouth fell open, letting the cigarette fall form his mouth. The man knew of his guns. A pair of old black .45's hung at his hips. He always did like guns even as a human.
Bedlam: Ok man, just who are you? Why am I here?
Man: Peace man. (smiling) My name is Michael, the archangel.
Bedlam: SAY WHAT!!!!
Michael simply smiled at the reaction. It was now the norm for him.
Michael: My friend…I need your help. Things are about to get VERY complicated on Earth.
Bedlam: (sighing) Just how complicated?
Michael: Think of it like this…World War two. Only this time, its humans against the demons in an all out war.
Bedlam: In other words the same as usual?
Michael: No…this time the demons are going all out.
Bedlam: (sighing) Great, so now what? Rally the usual champs?
Bedlam knew of the champions the powers that be had. They were suppose to be the best.
Michael: (smiling) Umm…no. Its time for a change of the guard, so to speak. I've already set things in motion for them to come out. One especially. Tell me, have you ever head the legend of the Shadow Wraith?
He looked at the archangel and smiled in his own way. Things were about to get VERY interesting. Form what he had heard, a Shadow Wraith was like a Slayer. Only more powerful and unlike the Slayers, the ones who were Shadow Wraith's had to earn the right to be one.
Bedlam: Tell you what man. You buy me the beer and I'll listen.
Michael: (smiling) You're on. Though I should warn you, I don't get drunk easy.
Bedlam smiled again, a challenge.
"Now I've told you this once before
You can't control me
If you try to take me down you're gonna break
Now I feel your every nothing that you're doing for me
I'm picking you outa me
you run away
I stand alone
Inside
I stand alone"
- Godsmack , "I Stand alone"
He looked them over slowly.
Truly, they were his best work. Not too many people knew of him, or even that he was alive. Yet, one day this odd young man shows up requesting for a special order, a pair of specially made handguns.
The old mystical weapons smith was widely known for making some of the most unique weapons ever to grace the planet. Yet, these had to be the best work he had ever done. They looked like normal pair of automatic handguns, with one being chrome silver, the other jet-black. But, unlike normal guns, these had barrel extensions that looked a lot like Japanese demon faces with their mouths open. On the black gun the face was silver with black eyes, and on the chrome one was a black face with silver eyes. What really made them unique (besides the way they looked) was the fact that they were made with a drop of blood from the young man.
The thing that really made him confused was that the guns seamed to almost be alive. As he made the parts for the gun from scratch, he couldn't see how they would look like in the end. Before, when making any weapon, he had a set design in mind. With these, it was as if he was following someone else's will.
Voice: Are they ready, sir?
He nearly dropped the guns as he turned around. There he stood, the young man who came to him a month ago. He looked the same form when he first saw him. A dark duster hanging down to his ankles a pair of black boots, with metallic tips at the end. His hands where in his pockets, and his face was almost covered with a large brim hat with only his mouth able to be seen.
Old man: I suggest you stop doing that…I almost shot you.
The young strange man could see the older mans smile. He returned it with one of his own.
Man: Yeah…sorry about that. Are they finished?
The old man nodded and handed the guns over. The young man smiled even more as he held them. This wasn't the same smile he had on before. It was a smile of a warrior getting a new weapon. For a moment he could swear that he saw his eyes. He wasn't sure if it was the lighting or if he was tired, but for a moment he could swear that the young man's eyes turned jet black.
Just as he was about to say something they heard it. The sound of something growling behind them. They both turned to the mouth of the cave and standing there were three demons. Three very ugly looking demons.
The old man backed up some and grabbed a battle-axe he had kept for emergencies. He was about to bring it up into a defensive stance, until he heard the sound of something clicking. The old man looked over to the young man who was now smiling almost like a mad man. The newly mad guns were brought up and looked to be almost glowing.
Man: Just who I was hoping to show up. Meet the boys (pointing one gun to a demon) this is Hell-fire!
The man carefully aimed the silver gun with the black demon face on it and squeezed the trigger. The resulting sound was like the roar of a very large demon, far bigger then the ones at the mouth of the cave.
The demon, on the far left, smiled at the toy the human had. It had seen them before and felt them. They were nothing. Then the bullet hit him hard in the chest. The blow was so strong that it sent the demon flying out of the cave. The two remaining demons looked on as their 'friend' was sent flying. Even more of a surprise, the demon started to scream in pain. They all saw as it started to twitch screaming even more and suddenly lay there dead.
The two demons looked back at the young man who was still smiling. Then they saw his eyes. They were completely jet black. Like two pools of mercury.
Man: (aiming the other gun) and this…is Brimstone!
The black gun came up and he fired again to the demon on the right side. The result was the same. A very dead demon on the floor.
The remaining demon backed up a few steps. It soon found both guns locked onto him. So it did what was best.
It ran.
The young man chuckled and put the guns away under his coat. He turned to the older man who looked on in awe. The weapons where powerful, but he didn't realize how powerful.
Man: (smiling) So…how much is it?
Soon the cave was filled with the laughing of the two men.
BBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ <SMASH!>
Xander slowly opened his eyes and quickly closed them again. It was already morning and he felt like shit.
Xander: (looking at what's left of the radio clock) Opps, my bad.
He rolled over to his back and closed his eyes again. He kept getting these odd dreams since leaving Sunnydale, at first thinking that it might have been the stress. Only they kept on getting clearer every time. Sighing he got up and made his way over to the bathroom. Stripping down he got into the shower and stayed there, letting the water wash over him.
Xander closed his eyes and put the dreams behind him for now. In doing so his mind went back to things that had happen before he left.
Xander looked at the half empty beer bottle that rested in front of him. It was the third beer bottle he had been looking at. He wanted to get drunk. He wanted to forget the pain of what he saw and heard.
He reached out stopping short of a few inches from the bottle. His fingertips could feel the cold surrounding it.
Xander: No, not like that.
Xander got up pulling back form the bottle and looked down at it, remembering the way his mother and father would drink. Drink to the point that they passed out or hit him. He swore never to do that.
With a disgusted sigh, he grabbed his keys, jacket, and cell phone and headed out the door. It was a nice sunny day, so he decided to walk. His car was only a few feet from him, but he needed to walk. It would give him time to think of something.
Since going to college, both Buffy and Willow have been drifting away from him slowly. Their lives were far different from his own now. Hell, even before college started, there was a rift. It was small but he could stand it. Yet now, it was a full wide crater. With everything that happened as of late it was expected.
First, Buffy dies and then comes back. Only now she's a little unstable. Even more then the first time she was brought back. Second, she started to drift away form everyone. Xander tried to say something, but as usual, no one listened to him. Finally, she started to do the deed with Spike. Spike of all people.
He could understand Angel, but Spike? That was like sleeping with Freddy Kruger and Jason…at once.
Stopping he noticed that he was passing the old high school. The place where the rift between him and his so-called friends started. Xander noticed that the city had recently started to rebuild it. Chuckling at the thought of the next generation of Scoobies. He rubbed his neck and started walking again.
Xander didn't know why he was thinking of the past again, it only brought him more pain. A Slayer, two witch, a watcher, and a vampire (chipped). There was no room for him anymore. Their powers had grown, while his (if he had any) didn't. Before he knew it, he'd reached Buffy's home. It was now or never.
He opened the dory and stepped in through the backyard. Xander had to admit, the work he did to keep this place up was good. Around the corner stood Buffy…with Spike. Both of them making out like a pair of teenagers under the shade of the porch.
Xander: (screaming) WHAT THE FUCK?!
His scream broke the two 'love birds' apart. Buffy had a look of shame while Spike's face just made Xander sick. The smile on his face mad Xander want to rip his face off.
Xander: Once again, what the fuck?
Buffy got up form the porch, distancing herself from Spike, and moves over to Xander. She had never seen him like this. His eyes were cold and dark, with no life left in them. She could swear for a moment that his eyes changed colors, but chalked that up to the stress form the past few days.
Spike felt something…something tugging at his demonic side. Something that scared him right to the bone. For a moment he felt that it might have been the Slayer, but he had her wrapped around his little finger.
Xander's eyes narrowed when Buffy stood in front of him. This wasn't the Buffy he was use to seeing. Gone was the strong, confident, smart woman he fell for. Now in her place was a pathetic little girl. She tried putting her hand on his shoulder, but was quickly slapped away.
Xander: Don't touch me…Slayer. Now talk…what the FUCK is going on here?
Buffy shrank back at the way he was talking. He had never acted so cold to her. And the way he slapped her hand away hurt. Both emotionally and physically.
Buffy: Xand…I can explain…
Xander: Then start talking…NOW!!
Buffy: (sighing) After…all that happened…Spike came to talk...and well...one thing lead to another…
Buffy's voice trailed off as Xander just looked at her. Looked at her in total disgust.
Xander: SO what happened Slayer? What, Spike and you accidentally fell on each other? THAT'S BULL SHIT!
Xander's voice and tone was like a slap in the face for her. Before she could say anything, Xander turned and walked away…the look of utter disgust still on his face.
Buffy: (pleading) Xander…please wait…
Buffy reached up and put her hand on his shoulder, only to have it and her roughly shoved off.
Xander: (narrowing his eyes) Don't you ever touch me again! GOT IT?!
Buffy: Damn it, Xander, you have no idea what its like to be me…to be alone and…
Suddenly, out of nowhere something hit her…hard. So hard it sent her flying and slamming into the tree. Buffy tired to get up, but felt like she had just been hit by the Master or another Slayer. She slowly looked up, her eyes still blurry, only to see Xander standing above her, his eyes narrowed and his fist clenched.
Xander: (eyes still narrowed) Don't you EVER say that. It's YOU who doesn't have any idea what's its like to be alone. YOU always had your mom, Giles, Willow, hell even Cordy and Angel. One time you even hard me.
Just as Xander was about to turn and walk away, Spike tried to jump at him, only to have the chip in his head activate. That one moment was all Xander needed. He grabbed the incoming vampire by the neck and arm tossing him down to the ground, and into the sun. Spike's screaming was what resulted. The skin of the former master vampire started to bubble and smoke, as he tried to cover himself with his leather trench coat.
Buffy scampered to Spike dragging him to the shade of the tree. Her eyes still blurry, she looked up at Xander in shock. His eyes chilled her to the bone. Finally, Xander, with a disgusted look, turned and walked away. He never even looked back as he pushed the door open and walked out of the back yard of the Slayer. With a quick call to Willow (leaving a message on her machine) and Dawn, Xander packed up what little things he had. Some clothing, money, and weapons he had gotten over his days of fighting vampires, got in his car and never looked back.
Turning off the shower, Xander got out and started to towel himself off. He noticed the small scares that were all over his body. Some of them made by his dear old dad while the majority were made by demons. The same demons that he gave up most of his life to help… her.
Xander shook the thoughts from his head again. He needed to put the past behind him…starting now.