Old School Cool...

and Drunken Nights In Vegas

Author: Anime Ronin <diabloslayer21[at]yahoo.com>

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Timeline: Post Chosen, but X never lost his eye.

AN: I'm going with a new angle on the whole 'one who sees' thing, but as I didn't watch S7, I'm putting a twist on it from a cancelled show on Fox, Fastlane, and some CSI, too.

AN2: Don't expect much in the way of vamp slaying and magic — it is mostly cop and crook stuff.

Chapter 1

Xander had told them that he needed some space, that he needed time to figure out just what the hell he was gong to do, so he had come to the place where you could be anybody and nobody gave a damn – Las Vegas. He'd played cards, shot craps, pulled slots and even done a little sight seeing, coming out to the tune of nearly $400,000 to the good, and the best thing was that he was doing all on his own – no Slayers, no Watchers, no Demons, nothing.

"Red Seven," he said, putting down a stack of chips on the appropriate spot at the roulette table. The ball was rolled and, like magic, it landed in Red Seven – he could get used to this.

"You've got the eye, don't ya." The voice was that of an older man, a suave, cool tone that bespoke of humor and business all in the same stroke, but it was also an appraising tone too as the voice spoke again, this time in a whisper, "You can tell the table's rigged."

He was an older man, maybe in his fifties, in a nicely tailored suit with gray-shot dark hair, a weathered look and eyes that sparked both with laughter and wisdom, wearing an expensive watch, some bling and had a stack of chips in his hands, "And if I did?"

The man smiled again, "Then I'd have to ask how you knew where to put the chips."

The answer was instant, "Instinct."

The man smiled back, "The Eye – you saw the details and added it all up to where you come out to the good." He reached into his front pocket and removed a pair of one hundred-dollar bills, "Tell me, son, which one of these are real."

It was a ballsy move, flashing possibly counterfeit money in a casino, but he took the bills and checked them over – they felt right, had the right coloring, even the correct details on the etching in the face, and that is when he saw it – the eyes in the new Franklins were different from the original 'revamps', in that they were reversed with a dark field and a light iris. One of the bills was correct, the other wasn't, so he handed back the fake one, "Nice paper, but you missed the eyes."

The man smiled and pulled him away from the table, where the people were looking bored and uncaring, "What's your name, son?"

"Xander Harris. Yours?"

The man smiled, "Raymond Rey, and I have a deal for you."

2 months later

Deacon Hayes looked over at his partner, Van Ray, "So, where's your pops at, player? Said he'd be here with his new protégé, an all that."

Van sighed, "I'm not sure, Deaq, but I can tell you that if this guy is under twenty one I'm going to shoot dad."

Their boss, Billie, snorted, "Like that's ever stopped you from trying before?" She ran her hands through her dark hair and sighed, "How'd I get talked into this anyway?"

"Two words, boss – Las Vegas." Deaq smiled at himself as she shot him a nasty look, "Hold up, yo, he's here."

Van looked almost sick at the sight of the protégé – he was a young man, maybe in his early twenties, with dark hair, a suit like his father's, some bling and a cocky smile that seemed all-too familiar, "Billie?" He passed his sidearm to her, "For insurance purposes."

All three got out of the car and approached Rey Ray, Raymond Ray, master counterfeiter and father of Donavan Ray, "Deaq, Junior, little lady." The smooth semi-retired criminal kissed Billie's hand and she blushed, "I'd like for you to meet my new protégé and business partner at Rey Securities, Alexander Harris. He has The Eye, Donnie."

Van winced, "Bill test?"

Raymond smiled and the kid was stone-faced, "First shot and at a glance."

Billie arched an eyebrow, "And the significance of this is?"

Alexander smiled then and removed three objects from his pocket – two Franklins and a ring box, "Find the fake and the ring is yours." The ring was a solid gold band with inset diamonds, sapphires and emeralds, all of them real from Van's own 'Eye'.

She smirked and took the bills, looking them over and then handed one back, the wrong one, "You have the fake."

Alexander smiled and shook his head. "No, but nice try. As a consolation gift, though," he flipped her the box with the ring in it, "keep the ring."

"Damn," Deaq drawled as Billie blushed, Raymond laughed and Van snorted. "Player got some skills, pops."

"That he does, Deacon – saved me a cool five million in his first job at spotting counterfeits and has only gotten better since."

Billie looked up from her finger, where she had put the ring, and smiled, "You know, a girl likes to know what her ring-giver's likes are before she gets the ring."

Alexander smiled a little, but his eyes were guarded, "Most girls I give rings to, though, aren't cops."

Billie's smile faltered, "Someone else has a ring?"

"Ex-fiancé, killed in Sunnydale." Van openly winced at the blank tone Alexander used, knowing that he was still coming to terms with it.

"Harsh, dog. Deacon Hayes, but call me Deaq."

They shook hands, "Alexander Harris, call me Xander."

"Donivan Rey, his son." Again they shook, "Call me Van."

"LT Billie Chambers." He kissed the back of her hand like she was a Lady of high station and she smiled a little, "Charmer."

"Guilty as charged, LT – will you be using the handcuffs now?" This got her to blush hard and both Deaq and Van to protract a, "Da-a-a-a-a-a-amn," while Raymond merely laughed.

She finally stopped blushing and smiled at him, "Maybe I will, if you play your cards right."

Van coughed, "Um, boss? Business?"

She sighed, "Fine – Rey Ray, you called?"

The older gentleman smiled, "How would you three like to take down a counterfeiter out of LA who is in town now?"

Late that evening

"I feel like a hooker."

Xander bit back the comment that she looked like one too in the too-short lycra skirt, a flowing blouse top, CFM knee-high boots, her hair teased out and handbag she wore, so he opted to keep his parts in tact, "It's for undercover purposes only, Billie, and besides, you look great."

She glared at him, "You're only saying that because most of my legs are exposed and one stiff breeze will take away all mystery if I tan topless or not."

He couldn't resist, "And that's a bad thing how?"

She slapped his arm, "Pig!"

"For being curious enough to pray for that wind to see if you tan topless? Absolutely." This got a slight chuckle out of her and a pair of howls of laughter from the two voices in his ear, Deaq and Van, who were listening in on the conversation over an embedded microphone in his watch, "Radio check."

"Loud and clear, player," Deaq said with a snicker.

"Can it, Deaq and Hyena Boy," Billie muttered into her own microphone, completely missing Xander's flinch at the name she had tagged the cackling Van with. "Anyone else showing up yet?"

"Not that we can see. You guys see Pops yet?"

Xander searched from 6 to 9 and then to 12 while Billie took the other side, both coming up with nada, and reported as much, so they sat comfortably near the drop point – the sting was set up to catch the counterfeiters in the act with Xander and Billie acting as a neutral third party while Raymond Ray and a counterfeiter from LA that needed to get out of the area when things started to get too hot, named Jason Alexander (like the actor). He was a cautious man and wouldn't deal without a third party that would act as a go-between, which in this case would end up being his undoing.

"So, Xander," Billie said out of the blue, "what was it like living in Sunnydale?"

He looked over at her, "Until tenth grade is wasn't too bad, except for dad's drinking, but after that … it was almost hell on earth."

She snickered for some reason, "Sounds like a normal high school to me."

He looked away from her, "Maybe, maybe not. Sunnydale had the most inept PD on the planet, the highest 'wild animal' attack rating in the US, missing person's rating west of the Mississippi and for a town of under ten thousand people, we had nearly two dozen cemeteries. You do the math."

Billie and the boys said nothing while he looked out over the empty parking lot, looking high and low for anybody that wasn't supposed to be there, until Deaq broke the silence, "Hold it, got someone driving in from the south west. Make it a pair of somebodies – two cars, one of them is Pops'."

He and Billie stood too, his hand instinctively going to the Glock 18 at the base of his spine, something he never went anywhere without anymore, not since he had saved his eye from Caleb by shooting the SOB before he got the chance to poke it out, but then he pulled it back, remembering that this was supposed to be a peaceful meet and greet / exchange. "Ready to win an Oscar?"

"If it gets me out of this get up, I'll take a Razzie."

He looked over at her with a grin, "Is that all? I'll have to remember that." He did not, to his great pleasure, cringe at the look she gave him, but was somewhat surprised to see behind the black look a pair of eyes that were glittering with humor.

Anything else that would be said died right there as the doors of the cars opened and the men stepped out – Rey Ray was dressed to the nines and the other man, one Carlos Ponce (no relation to the Latin singer other than he could pass for his twin brother) looked to be dressed down in jeans, a button up shirt and boots, but none the less alert as he brought out a small attaché case that supposedly held the money while Rey Ray had the bag that held the faked passports and papers.

"Good evening, gentlemen – I hope this will be quick and profitable for all three parties involved." He stepped forwards and smiled, "Now, just so there are no miscommunications, you wanted the papers and have the money, you wanted the money and have the papers and I'm here to mediate, right?"

"You still sound like a cop, Alex," Carlos pointed out, leering at Billie the entire while, while she cozied herself up next to her 'man', Alex.

Xander shrugged, "Occupational hazard as a mediator – we speak legaleze fluently. Now, the papers?" Rey Ray opened the bag and put it on the ground, which he then went over to pick up. He looked at Carlos, "The Green?" Carlos opened the case and showed the money, which his eyes and a quick look told him were all on the level, and he then made the shuffle, Green for Papers, to their respective buyers, "Gentlemen, our business is concluded."

They all made their way back to the respective cars and got into them, but that's when the LVPD decided to show up in force – they were all removed from their cars, as per procedure, and while Carlos was arrested outright, Rey Ray, himself and Billie were all 'arrested' by Deaq and Van, being led away from the scene to the back of a paddy wagon.

"Alright, get me out of these cuffs," Billie said once they were out of the area, which Van did with quick fingers, and then rubbed her wrists. "God, I HATE handcuffs."

"Does Xander know that?" Van shrank back at Billie's glare as Xander found himself chuckling with Deaq and Rey Ray, freed from their cuffs as the CSI crew came over for some questions.

"Gil Grissom, CSI – may I see your fingers, Mister Harris?" Prints were taken and they were cleared, but Grissom stopped him as they tried to leave, "How did you pull this off so quickly, young man? Why did you take the money? Isn't it fake?"

"It's all real, Mister Grissom – besides, you have a criminal to put away and the LAPD will be wanting extradition on related charges." He offered his elbow to Billie, "M'lady, our chariot awaits – we need drinks to celebrate."

"I'll drink to that, but only after I change clothes."


As per her promise, Billie had changed clothes and they had all gone out for some drinks at a local bar that came highly recommended from Rey Ray – while Deaq and Van were fairly sober, Rey Ray not far behind them, Xander found himself in the alcoholic haze that was being plastered, but he wasn't alone. LT. Wilhelmina Chambers, as she told him her true name was but, shhh, it was a secret, was at least as plastered as he was and she was laughing gaily at something that Van had just said, leaning heavily on his shoulder.

"You two need to get to bed – you're going to have massive hangovers tomorrow." He looked up at Rey Ray and smiled, nodding drunkenly as he got up and pulled Billie with him.

"Gotcha, boss. Whee-we'll see ya tomorrow. All of ya. Billie?" She got up too, though far less steadily than he did, and they exited the bar together into the relative safety of the night, as he knew, even as drunk as they both were, Van and Deaq were following them.

"Oh, pretty." Billie dragged him into a small place and looked at some of the signs that were there, "I wanna try this."

"How much, King?"

"That'll be three hundred, bubba." Elvis, pork chops, white jumpsuit and all, accepted the wad of cash Xander forked over, handed some of it back, and smiled, "Right this way, you two."

Next morning

Billie groaned, clamping her eyes shut as light stabbed into them, and sank into the warm mass that was next to her, sighing as her entire body relaxed – she and the guys had gone out drinking last night and she and the kid, Xander, had been pretty blitzed afterwards, but all in all, it was good.

Her eyes snapped open and her body went stiff as the warm mass she had snuggled into groaned in protest, a MALE groan of protest, and shifted slightly, "What the hell happened?" She looked up and came face to profile with Xander Harris, who was looking at her blearily, and she sat up.

"What are you doing in my bed?"

"Suffering from a hangover the size of Texas and noting that you DO tan topless." Billie looked down and then covered herself up as Xander rolled off to one side, only to disappear from the top of the bed and land on the floor with a thump and a muffled groan, "Car keys."

Billie ran her fingers through her hair and felt something poke her – she pulled her hand away and saw that her left hand had a ring on her fourth finger, her RING finger, and several pieces began to fall into place, "Xander, check your hand – left ring finger!"

"Ow! No shouting." He sat up and slowly stood, allowing Billie to see that he too was also as naked as she was as he checked his hand, "What about it?"

"Do you have a ring there?"

Xander looked down and she watched his eyes widen almost comically as he saw what she saw – a pain gold band upon his left ring finger. He looked up at her and they shared the same thought.


Chapter 2


Van and Deaq goggled, Rey Ray smirked and he could feel Billie doing her best not to break out into giggles as they pulled apart from a 'newly-weds kiss' in front of her friends/subordinates and his boss.

"Uh, Boss? What's going on?"

Billie smiled, "Why Van, Xander and I are married – you remember witnessing for us, right?"

"Billie, you two were so drunk that you couldn't stand up right." Van looked decidedly worried as Rey Ray began to chuckle and Deaq looked like a landed fish.

"But we have a marriage license, see?" Xander tossed the paper over and smiled, "Mr. And Mrs. Alexander Harris – guess the second time around isn't all that bad."

Billie looked at him, "I'd like to keep my last name for work, if you don't mind, honey."

"Sure thing, sweetie." They moved in and pantomimed kissing while blocking the view of the other three, drawing back after a few seconds and breaking apart and taking a seat at the table.

"Billie, seriously, you two aren't married – it was a joke that Deaq and I played on you and the kid. No offense, Xander, but you don't have what it takes to be with Billie."

Xander sat up a little straighter, "Really, Donnie? Then what, prey tell, do I need to have to be with Billie?" He knew that it was meant to be kind, but internally he could feel a rage begin to build – who in the HELL was Van Ray to tell him about relationships, if Rey Ray's stories were any indication?

"It what you'd need to lose, if all the hints she's been dropping are true." Van shrank back at the glare and Xander wrapped an arm around her waist, which she pulled into and sighed, "Alright, so let's say that you ARE married – where are you going to stay? You work in LA at the Candy Store and Xander works here with dad."

"I've been thinking about branching out, Donnie," Rey Ray said with a smile, completely shooting down Van's idea and Xander knew the old man well enough that all of the hints dropped had added up in his mind.

"Then how'd you explain it to the Captain? He's been looking for a reason to cut us down for a while now, Billie?" Deaq looked at Xander and grimaced, "Look, Xander, I like you, man, but Billie and us, we've got a dangerous job."

Xander snorted, "Dangerous doesn't even begin to cover being a cop these days, Deaq, but trust me, I know danger – I used to live it in high school every night. Be that as it may, until Billie and I decide to get an annulment, we're married, which makes me the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet, in my own honest opinion."

Billie looked at him, smiling, "Xander, I think that's one of the sweetest things I've ever heard." He blushed a little and then even more as she kissed him on the cheek as she pulled back, smiling, "Still, they're right. I get drunk in Vegas and pick up a younger husband one night and when the Captain and IAD hear that, it's all over for the Candy Store." She squeezed his hand and he squeezed it back.

"Hold on a second, Billie," Van said with some dejection in his voice. "We can work with this – we were on our case and you two got hitched to convince Ponce that you were on the level and are going to try it out for a while."

Billie shot Van a glare, "And why are we letting you decide this, Van? If Xander and I want to stay married, we will! I like being married – the sex is great, I actually have someone to come home to other than my fish and we make a cute couple."

Xander wasn't sure where he'd lost control of this situation, but it was probably when Van opened his mouth, and he opened his, "Can we argue about this later, honey? I'm kinda hungry – you DID keep be kinda busy last night, remember?"

Afternoon – Rey Securities office, office of Executive VP Alexander Harris

He could see Billie stalking around his office even as he read the last of the reports he'd been sent by a new client, and forced himself to not smile as she came over to his desk and plopped down on the edge, "What's wrong, Billie?"

"Nothing, I'm just kind of steamed at Van and Deaq for pulling such a childish stunt like this." She unwrapped a piece of nicotine gum and popped it into her mouth, "Of course, now we're really in a fix as the wedding is binding and the guys and I go back to LA tomorrow."

"You're in a fix? What about me?" He reached over and pulled a picture of his girls and his mentor, Buffy, Willow, Dawn, Faith, the new Slayers and Giles. Robin wasn't in the picture as he had died of his wounds on the way to LA and Faith was really broken up about it, "See them? My friends from Sunnydale – when they find out about this, and trust me, they will, there will be one less Xander-shaped person on this planet! Buffy's in a total control-freak mode, Willow's been my best friend forever, Dawn's been crushing on me since the first time we met by her own admission, Faith and I … well, she and I are hard to explain, Giles was the one guy on the planet who's opinion of me I actually gave a damn about and the other girls saw me as a friendmentorconfidant! It won't be a question of if I die, it'll be a question of if a CSU team will ever find all of my pieces for burial."

Billie looked at the picture and smiled, "Cute crowd."


"The redhead is looking really close to the brunette."

"That's Willow, my best friend – she's been gay for about five years now, figured it out in her Freshman year of college in Sunnydale. Brunette's Kennedy – she and I get along as well as Crypts and Bloods, but she makes Willow happy, so I tolerate her."

"So you don't have a problem with people being gay?"

"Nope – I've seen weirder and I've had time to adjust."

"And if I were gay?"

He looked up at her and sighed, "Just come out with it, Billie – I don't feel like beating around an old, dried shrub here."

Billie shrugged, "Not much to tell, other than I'm more bi than I am gay – figured it out in the Academy, actually." She then smiled, "I guess that means we can have threesomes and you won't feel odd, then."

Xander sighed, "You sound so much like Anya right now it's scary, but no, no threesomes. I may not believe in God too much anymore, but I do hold the sanctity of marriage close."

"Not even if she's hot?"

"Damn my soul forever, not even if she's hot."

Billie smiled wanly at that and hopped off of the desk, taking a seat in his lap and sighing, "You know, being married isn't all that bad – I have a husband who cares, who is loyal and we're going to call the whole thing off."

He was silent for a moment and wrapped his arms around her, "Billie, don't take this the wrong way, but it feels … wrong to feel like this. I've know you for less than a day and we're married, but I not sure if I want to get an annulment."

"Nothing to take wrong – you're handsome, straight, well-off and you care about me. I'm asking myself the same question right now." He looked up into her eyes and saw tears there, "Could it work?"

"Maybe, maybe not – I fucked up my last go-round with marriage and I'm not sure I want to try again if this one goes flop."

"Me too. I mean, I'm not getting any younger and aside from Van and Deaq, not to mention Aquarius and Rey Ray, you're the closest thing to an outside chance I have at marriage." She sat there in his lap for a few more moments and then pulled away, "No bullshit – could we make it work?"

"I'm willing to try if you are."

"Deal." She kissed him and Xander began to wonder just how in the hell they had gotten from pulling a joke on the two guys to actually wanting to stay married.

Evening – dinner at restaurant

"You're what?"

"We're going to try and make it work, guys. We know you guys set this up as a joke, but … well, I guess we both kind of want it."

Rey Ray looked at him, "Kid, if you move to LA, you're going to be branch head there."

"I know – give me a week and we'll have it ready for business." He grabbed his wife's hand and she smiled at him, "Of course, now I have to call Buffy and the others and tell them the good news."

"Can magic be cast through the phones?"

"God, I hope not."

Next Afternoon – Las Vegas Airport

Over the previous night and most of the morning he had brought Billie up to speed on his life and the real world – she had been a little skeptical at first, but after a quick trip to Vegas' local Caritas, which was named 'The Muse's Den', she was more open to what he had to say. After some cursory questions, they made their way to the airport with a promise that she'd get full disclosure. With that done, he came to the hard part – telling Buffy.

"Yeah, Buffy, I got married … no, you don't know her … LA, but from there, I'm not telling you. No, I haven't lost what's left of my mind, Buffy, I think that Billie and I could work out. No, you will NOT have Willow check if she's a demon. Are you TRYING to piss me off, Slayer? No, you will … Buffy, don't you dare …" Xander hung up the phone, "Son of a bitch."

"She didn't take it well, I take it?"

"No – she can't wrap her mind around the fact that I've fallen in love with a human woman." It was odd to say – in less than two days he had fallen in love with a cop and it kind of steamrolled him to even admit it to anyone, himself included.

"Will she try anything?"

"She'll have Willow test something, but it'll come up with you being human, right?" She gave him a look, "Of course it will."

"Now comes the hard part – telling my boss."

"Need any help?"

"No," she said as they walked to the plane. "I just need you to be at home when I get there – we have to break in a new bed."

"Have I told you lately that I love you?"

AN: Alright, this is it – I want this one-shot that won't die to be over. Here's what's happening in the future, thanks to my newly-returned-from-vacation muse.

Lieutenant Wilhelmina Chambers and Alexander Harris returned to LA and continued on with their marriage for the next fifty three years – in the process she gave birth two three children, two boys, one named Jessie and the other named Jack, and a girl whom Xander named Willow and Billie later re-named Elizabeth after a few moments of 'discussion' with her husband, Willow being the child's middle name. Jack and Jessie both joined the force after a little discussion with their parents and Elizabeth Willow took over the LA branch from her father, who had taken it over from Raymond Ray when the elder man died ten years after the marriage – she ha her father's 'eye' for things and her mother's temper, so needless to say, things went smoothly.

Billie Chambers eventually retired from the LAPD at the rank of Captain within the special unit known as 'The Candy Store', which was taken over by LT. Donivan Ray, LT. Deacon Hayes having moved back to NYC to open his own 'Candy Store', and she settled down into retirement with her husband in her later years.

Alexander Lavelle Harris went into death peacefully in his sleep six hours after he and his wife, who had died on impact, were in a massive auto accident at the age of 79 – the nurse at the hospital he died in would later comment that as he passed, a slight light entered from the curtained window and then left just as quickly, the smell of a woman's perfume scenting the air heavily as he did, and that he went with a smile on his lips. He was buried next to his wife in an LA cemetery with an inscription on his headstone that had almost been ground for divorce when they were bought, and it read 'Weep Not For Me, For I Am Still Raising Hell And Having Fun'. Needless to say, his wife wasn't pleased and had another inscription put on her own headstone that read 'Our Vows Said Until Death Do We Part – Now I'm Available' – such was the nature of their marriage, loving but always with a hint or two of edgy humor that always went with them.

Buffy Summers and Willow Rosenberg died at the ripe old age of 80, both of them having married and loved, but also both having named their first child after their friend; Buffy gave birth to Alexandra and Willow to Alexander. Faith Williams never married and died at the age of 44 of inoperable brain cancer – it was said that her last words were of, 'Woody' and 'Boy Toy'. Dawn Summers still lives, some say, but that is not known for sure as she has been missing for 50 years after a spell mishap, having been sucked into a portal of her own creation, as was Rupert Giles, but his body was later found on the Royal Cricket Grounds in London, a smile on his lips and a sword in his hand.

The Slayers, as they became known to be, continue to fight to this very day – demonic activity is at an all-time low and we are all safe.

Thus I end this chapter and await my new assignment – Watcher Andrew Wells.

The End