Pirates of the Hellmouth.

Author: BoxerMan <boxerman083[at]yahoo.com>

A response to the 'Xander didn't dress up like a soldier for Halloween' challenge.

Pairings/Crossovers: You'll see, it's pretty damn obvious if you think about it

Disclaimers: I don't own anything relating to Buffy, Angel, or Pirates of the Caribbean.

A/N: Something a little lighter for Pete M.

A/N2: Please read and review, I don't care if its anonymous, if you hate it or if you love it, review.

Dedicated to Eddie.

Latest addition

Chapter 1

Xander Harris looked around Ethan's Costume Shop. He already had a set of old army fatigues at home. He was planning on just getting a toy gun and going as 'soldier boy' for the night, but then he overheard Buffy and Willow talking about the 18th century style gown Buffy had picked out with the help of the store owner. She wanted to look good for Angel.

'Angel,' he thought, 'he'd probably just be all cryptic guy and say 'Buffy.''

He looked over to where Buffy was showing some rather 'revealing' costumes to Willow.

'And Buffy will say 'Angel.'

Buffy looked back towards the gown in her hand.

'And they will kiss.'

A bright smile lit up her face and Xander felt a knot in the pit of his stomach.

'And I will puke.'

He watched Buffy and Willow start walking towards the fitting area.

"May I help you?"

"NYAH!" Xander spun around to see a man in his late forties looking at him questioningly.

"A bit of advice, pal, DON'T sneak up on people in this town. Its just...tacky."

"Yes, well," the obviously British man rolled his eyes and did what Xander called 'the Giles.' He leaned over Xander's shoulder and motioned towards where Buffy was wearing the gown and looking at her reflection in the mirror. "I couldn't help but notice that you were interested in the young lady's choice of costume."

Xander looked back at the pair who were smiling and laughing. He shrugged his arms. "Heh, that's Buffy, I couldn't help but notice."

"Well," the British man stood back and gestured with his arms. "I might have something that would match that particular outfit. The style is of course late eighteenth century. Simple in its appearance and yet complex at the same time. Now if..."

Xander interrupted the man's speech. "Listen mister..."

The man smiled at him and nodded. "Ethan."

"Mr. Ethan, I don't really have a lot of money. I already have a costume picked out. I got some army fatigues back home and I was only looking for a toy gun to go with it. I was planning on just being the 2 dollar costume king."

Ethan smirked back. "Don't worry …"


"Don't worry Xander, I can't think of anyone I know that would run a costume shop for the money. I just love helping people choose the costumes they want to make it a very special night." The man tried to reassure him with a smile. 'More of a smirk, than a smile,' thought Xander, 'stupid salesmen.'

"I just don't want to spend too much."

"I am sure that we can work something out. You see the necklace of that gown belonged to the young daughter of a British Governor in the Caribbean. She ended up leaving her father and the man she was engaged to for the love of a pirate."

Xander gave a sarcastic look to the Brit. "A pirate?"

The man smirked. "Yes, a pirate. Well the legend goes that this particular pirate saved the young woman from an almost certain death from a group of cursed zombies."

"A zombie killing pirate?"

The man was starting to get annoyed but hid a smile. "It is a legend, not all legends are true."

Xander muttered under his breath. "More are true than you know."

The man didn't hear Xander's comment and led him to the back of the store. "I happen to have another costume replica from that period of time, along with..."

Xander interrupted. "Ethan, I don't really want to dress up like a pirate I mean A: its kinda lame, and B: I already know someone that's dressing up like a pirate." The thought of him and Larry wearing the same costume made Xander uneasy, he didn't need to give Larry any more excuse to single him out.

"Very well, what does your friend look like?"

"Well, He's not exactly a 'friend.' More like a 'big idiot jock' that I'm trying to avoid. Not to mention the whole idea of eye patches doesn't seem to appeal to me."

The look on Ethan's face fell. "Ah I know which person you mean, trust me the outfit he picked out was perfect for him. A 'big idiot jock' deserves to be a 'big idiot pirate.' Even so, a lot of children came in here earlier looking for a pirate costume. Pirate costumes are very in this year I believe. But don't worry, I have just the idea for you. Its not at all like the other costumes." He brought him to a display of old fashioned costumes. "This man was actually a blacksmith before he became a pirate. He had more of a taste of culture and finesse and..."

Xander looked back at Buffy. "Elegance."

Ethan turned and smiled at Xander. "Yes, exactly."

He kneeled next to a set of shelves and pulled out a long wooden box from beneath the lowest one. He placed the box on a table next to them. "This," he opened it to reveal a long sleek blade "sword is supposed to be made by that very blacksmith."

Xander looked incredulously at the storeowner. "You've GOT to be kidding me. I am NOT paying for a freaking sword."

Ethan gave the teen a very annoyed look as he took the blade out. "It doesn't cost any more."

Ethan held the blade across his two hands. "It was made with absolute precision and style." And then placed the sword across his finger right above the hand. "And is perfectly balanced." He held out the handle for Xander to hold.

Xander looked at the blade before taking it. "I don't know." He had already spent some money on the army fatigues and was only planning on buying a small gun or something. He heard a small laugh and looked at Buffy. She placed the gown on the counter and was pulling out money from her purse to pay for it.

He looked back at the outfit hanging against the wall before taking the sword from Ethan's hands. "Do you take cash?"

Chapter 2

Xander stood outside 1630 Revello Drive, waiting for the girls to answer the doorbell. He tugged on the backsides of his pants. 'Stupid pantaloons are giving me a wedgie.' He thought to himself. He had looked himself over in the mirror several times before actually deciding to go out. He felt kinda silly in the get up, although he reasoned he didn't look that bad. The outfit Ethan had 'selected' for him didn't look as bad as he thought it would. The light tan pantaloons were a little tight in the rear, but actually felt comfortable. The light gray button down shirt and darker tan vest he was wearing didn't really feel like something a pirate would wear, but in the shops mirror, he felt that the overall package looked decent enough. What actually made the most difference to him was the sword hanging by his left side and the toy gun he got from Williamsburg on his left side. It made him look more like an '18th century man of action' than just '18th century man.'

"Xander, come in."

"Buffy! Lady of Buffdom, Duchess of Buffonia, I am in awe!" Xander bowed down infront of her. "I have come to pledge my eternal allegiance."

Buffy smiled at Xander and curtsied. "Why thank you, kind sir. But wait till you see..."

They turned to look up the stairs at Willow. She has put on a ghost sheet with 'BOO!' on the front in large bold letters.

"...Willow the friendly ghost."

Xander smiled and looked at his oldest friend. "Hey, Will! That's a fine boo you got there."


The three walked towards Sunnydale High School. Willow and Buffy were walking ahead talking to each other. Xander tried to include himself in the conversation. "So, what's on the agenda for the womanly inclined?"

Buffy spun around with a sly grin. "The womanly inclined are talking of womanly things of which men have no business my good sir."

Xander flinched in mock pain. "Girl talk, got it."

Willow smiled. "Youre darn tootin! Seeing, as we are women and all."

Xander decided to fall behind a couple more steps, as to keep out of the conversation for his own sanity.

Willow watched as he slowly got out of hearing range.

"So, do you think Angel will like your costume?"

Buffy smiled sweetly. "I hope so. I mean this is what he was into wasn't it? He'll like it wont he?"

"Oh, I'm sure he will. No man can resist Regular Buffy, or, or Lady Buffy."

Buffy noticed how Willow's face fell. "It's ok Will, he'll come around. You just gotta show him the real you. The 'sexy-now' Willow. Not the 'boo' Willow."

"I just..."

"Listen alright. I was Hemery High's queen of the hormone charged boys. I KNOW how to make a high school boy fall on his knees for you."


Buffy's voice dropped an octave. "Willow."

"Sorry. Sorry. It's just why wont he notice me? I mean, he OBVIOUSLY chose that costume to match yours. He, he even talked to that Ethan guy for half an hour getting it 'just right' for you."

"He notices you Will, he just doesn't have the other brain cell to put it all together."


Xander saw his two best friends laughing together in a laugh reserved only for women making fun of a man. He thought to himself, 'There is no good that can come from this.'

Buffy perked up. "I have an idea okay?"

Willow looked to her eagerly. "What?"

"If he is already dressed up like that, which by the way, what is he?"

"I think he called himself a common lowly blacksmith zombie killer."

"Wills, I think our boy is in need of some therapy, or at least some major brain surgery."

Willow nodded. "Agreed."

They both looked over their shoulders and snickered. Xander groaned pitifully and looked skyward.

"Anyway, Snyder is going to pair us up to take out the kids, remember?"

"Yep, he gave the whole 'If one of you fouls up, its both of you going to detention."

"Sooo, if we switch costumes, then Snyder would probably pair you up with Xander?"

Willow flushed pink with anticipation. "Really, you'd do that for me?"

Buffy smiled for her friend. "Yeah, besides, if I wear the costume you got underneath that little sheet, I'm SURE to get Angels attention."

The girls happy squealing and noises of happiness did little to raise Xander's hopes. "They're planning something...that's not good."


Xander looked over at the general gathering infront of the school. He was surprised to see so many pirate costumes. Even Jonathan and that weird kid Andrew were dressed as pirates, not to mention about twenty of the kids. "Ethan was right. I guess pirate costumes ARE in this year."

Larry came by dressed as another pirate and interrupted his musings.

"What are you dressed as Harris, anal-retentive ass pirate?"

"Larry, you realize that you are also dressed like a pirate and that you are very talkative about men's asses?"

Larry leaned in closer and shoved him. "Where's your bodyguard, Harris? Curling her hair?"

Xander flinched. Larry laughed in Xander's face and then left. Xander pointed his Williamsburg replica gun at him, but then just dismissed him.


Buffy and Willow exited the girls' bathroom. Willow had switched into Buffy's old costume, while Buffy had switched into Willow's costume.

"SUMMERS!!" Buffy turned around to face Snyder. "What in God's name are you wearing? You cant wear that infront of children you little harlot!"

"Wait, Principal Snyder, there is a good explanation for this."

"There is?"

Willow looked questioningly at Buffy. "There is?"

"There IS. I just haven't finished putting on the rest of my costume." Buffy turned to pull out the discarded ghost costume. "You know how it is, getting all hot under you costume, so I thought that I would wear something light to..."

Willow jumped in. "Take the edge off."

Buffy nodded quickly. "...take the edge off."

Snyder shook his head. "You know what, never mind, I don't want to hear about it." He turned and pointed to a group of children idly playing in the front lawn. "This is your group, Summers. You will be paired up with Levinson. No need to speak to them. The last thing they need is your influence. Just bring them back in one piece and I won't expel you. Come with me Rosenburg."

Buffy knelt down to the kids. "Hi."

Snyder abruptly turned around. "Ah, ah!"

Chapter 3

Xander stood at the front of his group. Snyder had apparently gathered up most of the kids dressed like pirates and put them into his group. He decided to see if he could have some fun with his newly found position of power. He cleared his throat and did his best gritty pirate voice.

"Listen 'ere ye scalawags. Listen to Captain Xander tell ye a tale of pirates, plunder an' buried treasure."

He was cut off by a little boy's voice from the back. "We don't care loser. We just want some candy!"

Another voice started up. "Yeah, you don't even look like a real pirate, where's your hat?"

The group started to snicker. Xander retreated back into his regular voice. "Hey now, that's not a way to speak to your Captain."

The first boy raised his hook for a hand and shouted. "MUTINY!!!!"

Xander's face fell. "Oh no."

The kids all turned to Xander and started chanting. "MU-TI-NY! MU-TI- NY!"

"Hey kids listen."


"Now I don't want to have to get all parent-ey now."



All was silent for a few seconds. Then Xander heard a little soft sob coming from the back of the group. Then another to his left, his right. Soon there was a chorus of crying and wailing.

"Kids, kids its ok. Don't worry, there will be lost of candy and plunder I promise."

The sobbing lessened a bit.

"After the looting and the pillaging, we'll all go out and enjoy our booty."

The first small voice in the back asked, "What's pillaging?"

The boy with the hook snickered. "You said 'BOOTY.'"

Xander groaned. 'Was I ever this annoying?'

He stopped for a second...'Yeah I probably was.'

He cleared his throat again; ready to address his 'crew' in the pirate voice.

"Listen 'ere, ye got to..."

A boy with an eye patch over his left eye stood in the back and asked. "Could you NOT use the pirate voice Captain Xander? It's scaring me."

A handful of snickers arose from out the group. Xander felt himself getting annoyed. 'Oh this is going to be a long night.'

"Ok kids, line up single file, and let me tell you a couple of things about this trick-or-treat business. Now on sleazing extra candy: tears are key. Tears will normally get you the double-bagger. You can also try the old 'you missed me' routine, but it's risky. Only go there for chocolate. Understood?"

A chorus of "Aye Aye, Captain." Came from the group.

"Good, now lets see who the first mates gonna be shall we?"

"Aye Aye, Captain."


Buffy walked her charges along the sidewalk. Jonathon had disappeared some time ago, but Buffy didn't really care. She saw a couple of other people and trick-or-treaters walking about. 'Must be the only time when people can actually enjoy the night,' she thought. "Okay kids, on to Mrs. Davis's house. Last year she gave out floss, but there might still be hope for her yet."

She turned to see Xander and Willow walking along the opposite side of the street. She could tell that the kids were having a good time because of the smiles on their faces, and they all seemed to be singing, except for Willow and a small boy with an eye patch that looked incredibly terrified of Xander. 'Come on Willow, make your move.'

Her charges started to return to her. Buffy crouched down to see what they received. "What did Mrs. Davis give you?"

They all pulled out toothbrushes. Buffy grimaced. "She must be stopped. Let's hit Mrs. Sanders' house." She got up from her crouch and started to lead them along the sidewalk. "We still have a few more minutes before I need to get you back."



Willow and Xander walked side by side. Willow smiled softly. Xander was turned around, conducting his crew in a rather interesting rendition of 'a pirates life for me.' He was making up half of the song and the kids couldn't care less, except for the poor little boy with the eye patch for some reason. He seemed so scared. She looked across the street to see Buffy leading her kids back from Mrs. Davis's house. "Xander, look."

Xander stopped singing the song for a minute and looked at the kids showing their toothbrushes to Buffy. "Good thing we skipped her house. I used up a carton of eggs and five rolls of toilet paper last year for the floss. And I heard Mr. Davis finally got that shotgun he's been wanting for just such an occasion. God knows what would've happened this time."

Willow laughed remembering the look on Xander's face as her ran away from the house. Mr. Davis hadn't taken too kindly too it and had chased him down the street with a baseball bat wearing nothing but his boxer shorts.

Xander looked at her with a lopsided grin. "What? It's not everyday you have too run for your life from the forces of evil. Oh wait, that's just Tuesdays."

Willow smiled. "The Davis's are a force of evil?"

Xander replied as they got to the last house. "They have given out dental products for Halloween every year since I can remember. The Davis's are the physical EMBODYMENT of pure evil."

He turned around to face his charges. "Ok boys and girls. This is the last house. After that, we gotta put this ship to shore."


Xander looked at the child he now affectionately called 'the annoying hook boy' in his head. "Yes very nice, I hope you're very happy with your job buffing the floors at McDonalds when you get older."

Willow stood back and watched Xander totally in his element. He was great with kids. He would say that it's because they are of a similar mindset. But she knew that it was because he was more of a caring, nurturing person. A good friend above all else. She sighed. 'Always a good friend, nothing more.'

Xander noticed Willows sigh. "What's wrong Wills?"

Willow tried to put on a happy smile. "Nothing just tired. It was a long day. And this dress isn't exactly made for walking."

Xander nodded. "Speaking of that, why did you and Buffy switch costumes? I mean don't get me wrong. I love my Willow-time."

"But you were hoping for some Buffy-time weren't you?"

Xander looked back across the street to see Buffy waiting for her charges. "Yeah, I can't help it can I?"

Willow looked down at her dress. 'No I guess I can't help it either.'

Xander noticed that look. "Hey now Wills, have I been depriving you of some much needed Xander-lovin?"

Willow chuckled. "God forbid there should be any shortage of Xander- lovin."

Xander put both of his palms on Willows shoulders and looked her strait in the eyes. "Listen, I know that I might not have been the bestest-best friend here lately, but you'll always be my Willow. I'll always make time for you at the drop of a hat." To make a point Xander knocked off the hat of the annoying hook boy.


"And you'll always be my Xander. Its just, Buffy is, is great and all. I mean don't get me wrong, I love her. Wait I don't love her, love her. More like, I like her a great deal, as in a friend..."

"Wills, youre babbling. What are you trying to tell me?"

Willow gathered up as much courage as she could...And then fainted.


Buffy watched her charges walk up to the door. A kid with a green monster mask was first in line. An elderly lady opened the door.


The lady looked into her empty candy bucket. "Oh, dear! Am I all out?"

The wind started to pick up for a split second. Grey clouds blocked the full moon. As soon as the wind died down, she looked back. "I could've sworn I had more candy."

The creature in the green mask tilted his head.

"I'm sorry mister monster," the woman bent down to eye level. "Maybe I..."

The green creature grabbed hold of the lady by the neck and began to choke her. Some of the other children screamed and run away.

Buffy saw what was happening. "No! Let her go!"

She started to run up to the house when an identical red monster appeared. The green one let go of the lady, and then started to fight his red cousin. Buffy ran up to them, when all of the sudden...


Buffy fell to her knees, gasping for air.



Xander turned around to see if anyone could help him. "SOMEBODY, HELP, ANYONE!"

The last thing he saw was Willow's unconscious form before his eyes rolled into the back of his head.

Chapter 4

Buffy awoke on the front porch of Mrs. Sander's house. She felt a little cold and looked down at her body. She was clothed in the leather outfit she had changed into. 'What the hell happened to the sheet?'

She stood up to take in her surroundings. Everything was in total chaos. Pirates were looting. Demons were rampaging.


She ran off the porch not noticing her body lying still.

Across the street, a male figure strained to stand up right.


He brought out his sword and viewed the area. They had been taken by surprise too many times in the past few years to not always be aware of their environment. He called out in a whisper. "Elizabeth? Where are you?" On the ground, the other figure stirred. He turned to see a young woman with red hair in an elegant dress. Chivalry took over where good sense left. He gently began to try to wake her up. "Milady? Milady? Are you okay?"


The woman stirred in her sleep. Visions of her love were assaulted by a young man trying to wake her. She awoke to find herself stranded in the middle of a street surrounded by pirates and...demons?

"Milady, are you okay?"

"Yes, what seems to be going on here?"

"I do not know madam. But perhaps we should be going someplace safe."

A young blond woman ran towards them. "XANDER, WILLOW, ARE YOU OKAY?"

The two turned to the girl. The woman was the first to speak. "Excuse me miss, I think you have the wrong people."

The man looked around at the destruction and chaos in the streets. He muttered to himself "This isn't Port Royal."

"What are you talking about Xander?"

"Madam, I do not know whom you are speaking of."

Buffy put her hands on her hips. "What the hell is wrong with you two?"

A 5 foot 7 inch Godzilla wreaking havoc shortly interrupted the conversation by reigning destruction upon the mailboxes of Revello drive. Buffy immediately recognized the costume. "Jonathon, What in the hell are you doing?"

Xander aimed his sword and gun at her. "Miss, I do not know what games you are playing, but I suggest you tell me."

Buffy recoiled. "Dammit Xander what's gotten into you?"

"My name is not XANDER!"

Buffy turned to Willow, who was standing up. "Will, what is going of with Xander?"

Willow looked up at Buffy. "My NAME is Elizabeth Turner. And I have no idea who this man is."

Xander looked at her incredulously. "But you're not Elizabeth, I've never seen you before in my life."

Willow looked back at him. "I've never seen you either."

Xander looked between the two girls. "What is going on here?"

Buffy was getting frustrated. "Xander, quit messing around. This isn't the time for jokes."

Xander looked back at her with confusion. "I am not 'Xander,' I am Will T…"

Buffy interrupted him and pointed to Willow. "No, SHE is Willow."

Willow was getting annoyed. "MY NAME IS NOT WILLOW."

He paused to breathe. "I am Will Turner."

He looked around as a clown and a rather large porcupine started to duke it out. "And it seems that there is something wrong going on here."

The two women continued to bicker while Xander tried to make sense of the situation. Behind them, a lone pirate was sneaking up on the trio.

Buffy was the first to recognize the pirate. "Larry?"

Xander spun around and drew his gun. The pirate held up his hands. "Listen lad, ye can't blame a poor mate for tryin now can ya?"

Xander smirked. "You're a pirate yes?"

Larry nodded uncertainly.

Willow smiled. "Then he can probably blame you."

Larry grinned. "Oh you wouldn't kill an unarmed man now would ye?"

Xander responded by shooting Larry's hat off, shocking him to drop the gun he had up his sleeve. "Having a pistol up your sleeve counts as being armed."


Xander, Willow, and Larry, turned to face the blond. "Huh?"

Buffy started to explain. "You three were all dressed up like pirates and now, you are all pirates, well, you're a pirate Larry, Will was a noblewoman and I forget what you were Xander."

Willow looked at Xander who abruptly shook his head. "I am not a noblewoman."

"Dammit Xander, pay attention."

Willow shouted. "He's getting away!"

Buffy and Xander turned to see Larry running behind a fence a couple of houses down the road. Xander scowled. "I hate that pirate."

Willow looked at him questioningly. "If you're Will turner, then you'd hate ALL pirates."

Xander smiled. 'Maybe this girl IS Elizabeth.' "I do, but for some reason, I REALLY hate that one."


Xander and Willow both turned their attention back to the blond slayer.

Buffy sighed. 'God, is this how Giles feels?' "You," she said pointing to Willow, "are Willow Rosenburg, my best female friend, you dressed up as a noblewomen." Xander snorted. Willow shot him a dirty look. "And you are Xander Harris, you dressed up...like that...to get my attention. And somehow you both turned into your costumes."

Xander looked around as if judging his surroundings. "Okay, I have one question for you, if you can answer it, I'll believe you."

Buffy was confused but agreed. "Okay."

"Why didn't this...change...affect you?" He paused and looked at how she was dressed. "Did it affect you?"

Buffy paused and looked down at her clothes. "No, I guess because I am the slayer that it didn't affect me, just everyone else." Buffy then caught the implication between what he said and how she was dressed. She crossed her arms and proceeded to give Xander a dirty look.

Willow decided to save her paramour. "What is the Slayer?"

Buffy gave the two of them a brief version of the Slayer speech.

The pair seemed to accept it at face value. If zombie pirates and heathen gods could exist, then why not demons, vampires, and slayers?

Xander was the first to speak. "I've got a couple more questions."

He looked toward Willow. "If you are Elizabeth, and given everything, I take it you are," he turned back to Buffy, "then why would I dress like myself to impress YOU when SHE is dressed like Elizabeth?"

Buffy sighed. "It's complicated."

Willow snorted. "No kidding."

"I mean, I love Elizabeth, completely and totally." Buffy began to give Xander a questioning glare. Willow beamed at Xander as he continued. "Not that you yourself are not very beautiful and stunning."

Willow crossed her arms and proceeded to give Xander a dirty look.

Xander lowered his head. "You know what never mind, I believe both of you."

The trio started on their way down the street. Xander turned to ask Willow, "How come you didn't ask any questions?"

Willow flashed a regal smirk. "It's really rather simple William, women are just more accepting of these things than men are."

"ROOAARR!" Across the street, Godzilla turned from the mailboxes and started to push over garbage cans.


The three walked down the street. Buffy watched as Willow and Xander had almost an invisible communication. Xander had wordlessly handed his gun over to Willow and picked up the pistol that Larry had dropped. He was in the front holding his sword at ready. Willow was in the back, covering the rear.

"Excuse me, I AM the slayer, I CAN help, you know."

Xander looked back, but didn't break his stride. "Miss, I know that you are 'the chosen one' as you said, but there are all sorts of pirates in this town, and while we might not be familiar with the terrain or vampires, Elizabeth and I are intimately familiar with pirates."

Buffy had about enough of this. "Listen here," she went to grab Xander's shoulder and spun him around, "The name...is...Buffy..."

Willow raised the gun at Buffy. "What are you?"

Xander and Buffy looked in awe as Buffy's arm seemed to go in Xander's back and out his chest. Xander spoke first. "Is this another curse?"

Chapter 5

Spike walked down the street. It was all as Drusilla had said. The town was in chaos. Half of the new 'vampires' were running amok. There were pirates looting the town. 'Reminds me of the Boxer Rebellion,' he thought to himself. He turned down the street to see another mob of pirates attempt to break into the Sunnydale branch of Bank One. A couple houses down, a group of monsters and demons were rampaging through the apartment buildings.

"Well, this is just...neat."


Buffy ran. She was the slayer. She was strong. She was fast. And she was not able to lay a hand on a single thing.


Buffy didn't turn around. She could hear Xander's and Willow's calls as she ran faster and faster. 'Giles can help.' She echoed her mantra over and over in her head. 'Giles will know what to do.'


Xander slowed to a jog. Behind him, he could hear Willow catch up. "Will, did you catch her?"

"No, lost her. It's amazing how a short little girl like that can run like the devil himself."

Willow stopped beside him. "God, I still don't understand what's quite going on here."

Xander sheathed his sword and looked sideways at her. "Me neither, and our only clue was that girl that ran away."

Willow gave him a dirty look. "Why were you in such a hurry to find that girl anyway?"

Xander's cheeks reddened. "She knew what was going on. In a town being torn apart by pirates, and...other things, she seemed to make sense of it."

Willow was not quite convinced. "I'm sure."

Xander took a breath and stepped so close to Willow that their noses were almost touching. "Elizabeth, you know that I love you," he paused to take Willow's left hand and hold it in his right, "and there is no woman on the face of the planet that would make me think otherwise."

Willow blushed deep crimson. "I know William. I just can't help but feel a little twinge of jealousy and regret whenever I see you look at her. I cannot explain it."

Xander nodded and then looked around. "I cannot explain half the things that are happening tonight. But don't worry. We'll be safe."

A shrill scream from behind interrupted them. "Somebody help me!!!"

They both turned to face a young brunette woman being chased by a rather large dog.

"Oh no, not you two."


Cordelia Chase ran for her life. Unfortunately, the 'werewolf' was making it a little hard for her. Out of the corner of her eye she thought she saw two familiar faces. She gathered up the last pieces of her strength, screamed. "Somebody help me!!!"

The duo turned around, and she felt her chances of living falter.

"Oh no, not you two."

Xander unsheathed his sword and charged the beast. Willow took aim and shot the creature in the chest.

The creature staggered back allowing Xander to slash its abdomen and thrust his blade into its chest, piercing its heart. The creature coughed up some blood and fell onto its back, with the sword sticking strait up.

Cordelia was surprised. "Well, that was different."

Xander walked over to the beast, put his left foot on its chest, and pulled out the blade.

"Okay, besides ignoring the 'eww-factor' here, what is going on?"

Willow reloaded her pistol and looked over at the woman. "I am afraid that we do not know, miss..."

Cordelia looked down at Willow. "Cordelia. And you went mental when?"

Willow motioned for Xander to come over. "You know us?"

"Well, we're in high school, and we've known each other since, like the first grade. Well, sort of. But more importantly, I was just attacked by Jo-Jo, the Dog-Faced Boy. Look at my costume!" Cordelia showed them the torn sleeve. "Do you really think that Partytown's gonna give me my deposit back? Not on the likely."

Normally, Xander and Willow wouldn't really listen to what Cordelia would ever say, but Willow picked up on one key word. "Costume?"

Cordelia sighed heavily. "Yeah costume Willow, remember Halloween, kids dress up like a monster or something. Speaking of which, you just shot one of my little cretins, not that I'm complaining."

Xander looked the girl up and down. "What are you supposed to be?"

Cordelia replied as she pointed to the ears on her head. "Duh, like, a cat?"

Xander disagreed. "Cats don't look like that."

"Shut up nerd-boy."

Before they could get into an argument, Willow noticed the creature on the ground start to move. "Miss Cordelia, do you know of a safe place?"

"Well I think Buffy's house is right around the corner."

"Ok, we need to move fast."


Xander leaned over to Willow as Cordelia lead them through the door. "Elizabeth, why does it seem that all of the women around here are wearing such...revealing...clothing? Am I missing something?"

Willow once again gave Xander a dirty look. "You were looking."

"Noticing, I was noticing. There was noticing, you noticed didn't you?"

Willow blushed deep crimson and smacked Xander on the arm. "How dare you?"

"I don't know. It seems that I speak before I think tonight."

Willow nodded for a second then looked at him peculiarly. "Since when were you always so flippant, Will?"

"I don't know." They walked along following Cordelia in silence for a minute. He thought aloud. "Elizabeth, do you feel any different?"

Willow was quiet for a minute. "I feel more quiet, reserved."


Cordelia, who was trying her best not to show that she was listening in, walked up to the front door and knocked. "There's no one there, and the door is locked, how do we get in?"

The girls both looked at Xander, who had a slight grin on his face.


Thirty seconds and a loud crash later, the three walked into the Summer's living room.

Cordelia turned to them. "I'm gonna try the phones and see if there are any sane people left in Sunnydale."

Willow and Xander nodded. After she left the room, Willow mouthed 'phone?' to Xander who only shrugged as he looked around the room. He came across a picture lying on the floor. It was of the blond girl from earlier, the girl who's body Elizabeth was apparently trapped in and of the boy he was trapped in. He turned to Willow. "Elizabeth, take a look at this."

The two looked at the photo. Willow spoke first. "I guess she was telling the truth."

A loud crash interrupted them. A man dressed in black came through the kitchen with Cordelia in tow. "Oh, good! You guys are alright. It's total chaos out there."

Willow and Xander looked at him simultaneously. "Who are you?"


Giles decided to put the lull in vampiric activities to good use. "Damned filing system," he muttered as he went through the card catalog. He heard sounds of yelling and sirens outside. He walked over to the window wondering what's going on.

Outside, Buffy finally reached the library. She saw that the light was still on and simply ran though the wall.

"Good Lord." Giles jumped back throwing the filing cards into the air.

"Giles, you have to help me."


Angel looked around the room. "Okay, someone want to fill me in?"

Xander looked at Angel, "Do you live here?"

Angel looked quizzically at Xander, "No, Buffy does. You know that."

Cordelia interrupted him. "They don't know who they are, everyone's turned into a monster, or a pirate, I don't know, it's a whole big thing."

A crash is heard. Willow spoke first. "I think we should leave now."

They walked into the kitchen to see the door hanging open.

Angel tensed. "I didn't leave the door open."

Sounds of raucous laughter and catcalling echoed through the house. Xander and Willow whispered simultaneously. "Pirates."

Xander looked to Angel. "I guess I have to trust you. Take the women, I can handle the pirates."

Willow turned to Xander. "Oh no, you are not William. I am not some damsel in distress."

Xander held Willow's face still as he talked to her. "No, you are not, but you are the most precious thing in the world to me Elizabeth. I would sooner die than see you harmed."

Willow finished for him. "And you are that to me. I will NOT stand by and watch you be slain."

Xander recognized the look in her eyes and accepted his defeat. He turned to Angel. "Take her," he motioned to Cordelia, "Elizabeth and I will handle the pirates."

Angel looked over the boy carefully. "Are you sure?"

Willow took out her two pistols. Xander unsheathed his sword. "Go, now."

Chapter 6

Giles blew the dust off on old book and looked at the title. 'Possessions and its permutations, third edition. This should do.' He walked back towards the common area of the library. "Buffy, are you sure about this?"

Buffy stood idly staring at the book open infront of her on the table. "I don't even know what I'm looking for. Plus I can't turn the page."

Giles nodded and sat down, opening the book. "Well, alright, l-let's, let's, let's review. Um, so everybody became, uh, whatever they were masquerading as."

Buffy nodded, still having a blank look. "Right, or at least I think so. Jonathon was Godzilla. Willow and I changed costumes, so she's 18th-century girl. And Xander dressed up like, a weird blacksmithy, piratey guy or something."

Giles looked confused. "A-and, uh, your, your costume?"

Buffy replied as if it was obvious. "I'm a ghost!"

Giles looked skeptically at how she was dressed. "Yes. Um... w, uh, uh, uh, the ghost of what, exactly?"

Buffy's cheeks reddened and covered her midriff with her bare arms. "Well, this is nothing. You should see what Cordelia was wearing. I saw her at the school. A, a tight unitard with cat ears and stuff."

Giles' eyes widened. "Good heavens. She became an actual feline?"

Buffy snorted, "How should I know? It'd be more appropriate if she went like a dog. I swear she is such a b..."

Giles cut her off. "Buffy! There is no need for that." He sighed and cleaned his glasses. "Cordelia is an innocent. You are the Slayer, sworn protector of the innocents."

Buffy muttered under her breath, "From what I heard, she's not THAT innocent."

Giles put his glasses back on. "What was that Buffy?"

Buffy cleared her throat. "Oh nothing."

Giles heard her, but let it slip. "Yes, well, tell me, where did you get your costumes?"

Buffy accepted the change of subject. "We all got ours at a new place. Ethan's."


"Go, now."

Angel grabbed Cordelia and threw her over his shoulder. "Ow, lemme down."

"Shut up."

Angel sprinted out the door and down the street. "Do you know where Buffy is?"

Cordelia answered while still trying to free herself. "How should I know, now will you please let me down?"

Angel sneered. "Do you want to go back there?"

Cordelia shouted back as if he was stupid. "No!"

"Then shut up."

Cordelia kept quiet.


Xander readied his sword. He had spent three hours a day for the combined length of both his childhood and his adulthood perfecting his technique as well as his blades.

Willow stood to his rear, covering Xander and helping make time for retreat if necessary.

The catcalls and hollering continued. "Hallo poppet! Its so nice to see you again."

Xander's face grimaced while Willow steadied her grip on the pistols.

A pirate jumped through the glass, knocking Xander over. "Say goodbye."

Willow leveled her right gun at him, "Goodbye," and shot him in the head.

Xander stood up and tackled two pirates that came in through the front door. "TAKE THE WINDOW!"

Willow reloaded her right pistol and guarded the window, shooting pirates as they came.

Xander rolled over and stabbed the first pirate in the throat with the tip of his blade. A yell came from behind and he spun around to see another pirate almost on top of him. Xander dropped to the ground and pulled a knife from the dead pirate's belt. The pirate grinned and pulled out his cutlass and pistol. "What are you planning to do with THAT son?"

Xander shrugged. Willow turned and shot the pirates in the back of the head. "Nothing I guess."

A pirate came back through the kitchen. " 'Ello son," he threw a black sphere towards Xander, "'ave yourself a little present."

Xander caught it with his left hand and threw it out the window, decimating the pirates outside. Willow took note and shot the pirate in the face. "Thanks."

Xander parried with another pirate as Willow continued to try to thin their ranks. "Elizabeth, not that I am complaining, but why are you shooting everyone in the head?"

Willow quickly reloaded. "Because, they seem to shake everything else off. They at least stop when I shoot them in the face."

Xander grabbed his sword and ran across the den to cover Willow while she reloaded again. He looked out the window to access the enemy force. "Elizabeth, have you noticed something else...odd about some of these pirates?"

Willow looked out of the window. In the front lawn, there was a mob of tiny, children-faced pirates, grimacing, cursing, and egging on their larger counterparts. Most of them had their pistols out. They were firing blindly though the window, and the door, and the rest of the house.

Willow ducked, and cursed the pirates. "Its as if they don't care about their fellow men and send children into the battle."

Xander sliced the pirate's arm and slashed his throat. He looked at the assortment of dead bodies populating the house.

They looked back at him. Xander's eyes widened with realization.


Willow turned around and looked back to the living room, where the once dead pirates where starting to stand up. "OH, GOD!"

Xander punched a tattooed pirate that had arisen, effectively knocking him out, and took back his sword. "I know, I know, they are about to overrun us. I can't see any way out of this."

Willow shot out the window, where about twenty small pirates where about ready to storm the house from the front lawn. She knew that he was right; there was no way that they could win. "PARLEY!"

The pirates stopped their advance. The first pirate through the door slowly walked forward. "Parley?"

Xander looked at Willow sideways as he readied himself for another attack. "Parley?"

Willow shook her head. "Yes, Parley, I invoke the right of parley. According to the code of the brethren, set down by the pirates Morgan and Bartholomew, you have to take me to your Captain."

The pirate nodded, understanding. "I know the code."

Willow motioned to Xander to stop the attack. "If an adversary demands parley you can do them no harm until the parley is complete."

A pirate in the back shouted. "To blazes with the code!"

The first pirate turned around. "SHUT UP," he turned back with a slight smile on his face, "They wants to be taken to the Captain. And they'll go without a fuss. We must honor the code."


Spike and his minions gathered in the warehouse. He walked up to the podium and looked out at the crowed. He smiled to himself. In the past hour, his numbers have swelled to almost sixty. He knew the slayer brat and her friends were out there. Now he had the numbers. Now he had the strength. 'After all,' he thought, 'thirds slayer's a charm.'

Chapter 7

Xander and Willow followed the gang of pirates down the street. They came to a series of school buses. One was painted black while the rest of the busses were in the standard yellow color.

A small child with a hook for a hand and a pirate hat jumped off of the hood of the first bus and landed in front of them. "Who is this?"

The fat pirate that led them there gestured to them and said, "They've invoked the right of parley with the Captain."

The child walked forward and eyed Willow appreciatively. "Aye, let the man go, methinks the lass should stay with the crew."

He stepped forward to be picked up by the collar. Xander looked him in the eye and threw him back into the bus. The fat pirate laughed heartily. "And ye'll not lay a hand on those under the protection of parley. Especially when this young lad is around, he stabbed me three times and the lass shot me in the face a furlong away."

The three walked past the young child who pushed himself off. Xander let his hand slip and knocked the hat off the 'annoying hook pirate.'


They finally stopped at the large black bus. Willow and Xander stood infront of the door as it 'wushed' open. Willow took a step back while Xander reached for his sword. "Is it a demon?"

The pirate laughed. "Nay miss, we do not understand it ourselves. Luckily we found some...volunteers to help steer these land ships."

The duo looked to the driver's seat to find a very annoyed looking bald man shackled to the chair. "HARRIS, ROSENBURG. YOU WILL GET ME OUT OF HERE NOW!!"

The pirate leaned forward and whispered to them. "He calls himself 'Sneeder' and says he be a man, but we think he be a hill- troll. There seems to be no shortage of them in this eerie town."

They shrugged and followed the pirate into the bus, leaving a very unhappy principal chained to the steering wheel. "HARRIS!!!!"

The pirate led them to the back to see a young man with dreadlocks and a large hat lying on his back, being fanned and fed grapes by several scantily clad young women. The fat pirate gestured to Willow and Xander. "They have invoked the right of parley Captain, and wished to see you."

The man sat up and shook his head correcting the pirate. "Commodore, its Commodore, I've more than one ship now." He turned to face the two. "It's a nautical term."

Willow stepped forward. "We are to negotiate the cessation of hostilities against..." she looked at Xander who just shrugged. She sighed, "this town."

The man smiled and motioned for one of the girls to feed him another grape. "There are a lot of long words in there, Miss. We're naught but humble pirates. What is it that you want?"

Willow slapped away the girl's hand that was feeding him the grapes, commanding his attention. "I want you to leave and never come back."

He turned back to the grape girl and kissed her hand. "I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request..." he turned back and smiled at Willow, "means no."

Xander took a step forward. "Excuse me, but what is your name good sir?"

The pirate smiled and stood up to steady his shirt. "I am Commodore Jack Sparrow."


Spike watched as his minions tore through the streets. A minion stepped up to him. "Sire, we have been able to take most of the neighborhoods surrounding the docks, but the area around Revello drive seems to be fortified."

Spike growled at the fledgling. "Fortified by what?"


Spike's voice dropped an octave. "You're bloody sodding me right, pirates?"

He turned to see several of his minions try to feed off of a 5 foot Pikachu. "Well I guess its not that far fetched."

The minion nodded. "The pirates haven't gone down in numbers; it seems that we can't kill them."

The blond master vampire smirked and shifted into game face. "Well, we'll see about that."


Willow's jaw dropped. "JACK SPARROW?"

Jack smiled. "Ah, so you've heard of me?"

Willow slapped him.


Jack looked confused. "I don't know what I did to deserve that."

The grape feeding girl dropped the fan and grapes and abruptly stood up. "Who is she?"


As she left, Jack turned to face Xander and Willow again. "I probably deserved that."

Xander put his hand on Willow's shoulder to calm her down. "If you're Jack Sparrow, then how did you get off that island you were stranded on?"

The fat pirate, who had been quiet thus far, had decided to interrupt. "He waded out into the shallows and there he waited three days and three nights till all manner of sea creature came and acclimated to his presence. And on the fourth morning he roped himself a couple of sea turtles, harnessed them together and made a raft."

Willow smiled evilly and looked back at Jack. "He roped a couple of sea turtles?"

The pirate nodded. "Aye, sea turtles."

Xander smirked, knowing where this was going. "What did he use for rope?"

Jack smiled. "Human hair, from my back."

It was Willow's turn to smirk. She leaned forward and whispered into Jack's ear. "I thought that you spent three days lying on a beach, drinking rum."

Jack's face fell, and then he started to grin to himself. There were only a select few who knew what happened on the beach. He stood up and shouted. "WILL! ELIZABETH! What are you doing here?"

Xander took another step forward and gave Jack a dirty look. "We're trying to stop you from pillaging this town."

Jack shook his head and looked at Willow. "What am I?"

Willow answered. "A pirate."

Jack held out his arms and gestured to himself. "Pirate."

He then turned to face Xander and gestured at Willow. "See! She understands."

She shook her head. "No I don't."

He turned back to face her. "Yes you do."

Xander put his hand on Jack's shoulder forcing him to stop. "Do you know what's going on in this town?"

Jack grabbed his sword and pistol and led them out of the bus. The troll in the driver's seat did his best to get their attention. "HARRIS, ROSENBURG, LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW!!!!"

Jack spoke to them out of the side of his mouth. "Normally, I might feel bad about doing that to someone, but for some reason...I don't."



Giles and Buffy walked infront of Ethan's Costume Shop. Giles looked around as motioned for Buffy to go in. She walked through the wall and yelled, "All clear!"

Giles picked the lock and quietly walked in. "Yes Buffy, make sure that everyone knows we are coming."

Buffy rolled her eyes. Giles shook his head and decided that surprise was gone so instead to just introduce himself. "Hello! Anyone home?"

Buffy looked around to see the curtain to the back room partially open.

She turned around and motioned to Giles. "Giles..."

They pulled back the curtains and slowly walked in and see a small marble statue in the middle of a large diagram on the floor. Its eyes glowed green.

Giles jaw dropped as he appraised the statue. "Janus. Roman mythical god."

Buffy looked around. "What does this mean?"

Giles took off his glasses and knelt down a little to be eye to eye with it. "Primarily the division of self. Male and female, light and dark."

He was interrupted by a new voice. "Ren and Stimpy."

Buffy and Giles turned to see Ethan in a long black robe smirking broadly. "I personally prefer Stimpy, I mean he's just so lovable."

Giles' face pales as though he's seen a ghost. "Buffy, get out of here, now."


Giles turned to face her and shouted, "Now!"

He turned around to face the shop owner and growled, "Hello, Ethan."

Ethan smiled. "Hello, Ripper."


Jack, Xander, and Willow walked along the chorus if busses. "Tell me Will, what do you think is going on here?"

Xander shrugged as they passed three pirates painting 'BLACK PEARL' on the side of the black bus with bright silver paint. "I don't know, one minute, Elizabeth and I just woke up in this town, we didn't even recognize each other or anyone else."

He turned to look at Willow who nodded her agreement. "There was this blond girl, she could reach right through William and she seemed to know what was going on"

Xander nodded. "There was also a tall pale man with black hair, and another girl with black hair, they all seemed to know."

They stopped infront of the black bus. Jack turned to face the bus and seemed to be deep in thought. After several seconds of silence, Xander asked him. "Well, what do you think?"

Jack looked at him and said very seriously, "I think that I need to paint the rest of the ships as well, I mean, Yellow isn't very menacing is it?"


Spike looked down at his troops from atop a house on Revello drive. He had gathered his general assortment of demons and vampires, as well as any other creatures of the night or simply creatures he could find. En masse, he had sixty three troops: thirty-one vampires, thirty demons or demonic creatures, and two...others. He turned to his second in command, "Where did we get the porcupine and the clown?"

The minion shrugged. "The forces are in place my lord. When should we attack?"

Spike looked at the line of school buses. 'The slayer should be here.' Two familiar faces interrupted his line of vision. 'The whelp and the snot,' he thought to himself, 'well, where there's smoke there's fire.' He knew the slayer well, if he got her friends, then she was as good as his.

He nodded to his lieutenant. "Start the attack."


Xander sighed. "No, what's going on in this town? Why are there demons and vampires and...odd giant lizards that breathe fire running amuck? Why don't the pirates die... again?"

Jack smiled at the young 'blacksmith.' "Well, I'm not sure, haven't seen any lizards, and oh," Jack smiled and looked upward as the gray clouds started to move, revealing the moonlight, "...moonlight shows us for what we really are."

Willow and Xander looked skyward to see the bright full moon shine through the dark clouds. As they looked down, they saw all the pirates' flesh and features rot away revealing bones and dead flesh. Jack smiled at them, his dark dreadlocks framing his bony face. "...all of us."

The two turned to each other. Willow saw her love's once slightly tanned loving face be replaced by a cold and gray corpse. His shirt ragged and his pants torn, he looked as if he rose directly from the grave.

Xander looked at her once radiant red hear fall lifeless and white by her side. Her dress was matted and old. When he looked back to her face, the beautiful pale cheeks and radiant smile had been washed away, leaving only a state of sadness. Xander looked into here eyes and saw them falter. He knew it was Elizabeth. The bodies could be dead and old, but the eyes, they still held her fire, her love...her soul.

Willow saw the cold skeleton infront of her break into a bizarre grin, it was almost as comforting as it was frightening. The corpse spoke. "I love you Elizabeth."

Xander saw her eyes well up with unshed tears. "I love you too William."

Jack smiled. "Well, as heartwarming and...eerie as that was," both turned their attention back toward the pirate commander, "as I was saying, it seems that we are all, well, dead."

Willow raised an eyebrow. "And?"

Jack pointed to the medallion on her chest and spoke with one breath. "Perchance it were, that you have an old keepsake from last time, made entirely out of cursed Aztec Gold?"


Jack smiled and walked back towards the newly christened 'Black Pearl.' The gray clouds shifted constantly, allowing multiple moonbeams to dark through the night. "You two are smart young lovebirds. I'm sure you can figure it out."

The fat pirate ran to Sparrow and addressed him. Sounds of fighting and battle were heard. "CAPTAIN!"

Jack sighed. "Its Commodore, bloody Commodore."

A horde of Demons broke through one of the surrounding houses and charged the group. Xander and Willow brought about their weapons and charged into the melee. Jack simply heard the sound of glass breaking.


...the sound of glass bottles breaking...


...glass bottles of rum breaking.

"The rum!" Jack turned to face the oncoming horde. "CHARGE!!!"


Buffy ran through the woods back from the library. She didn't know where else to go. She was the Slayer for God's sake. How could she be such a wuss when at the first sign of trouble, when my powers are squat, I just freaking run away. She turned to run back to Revello drive. No one was at the library, so maybe someone was at her house.


Angel arrived at the library seconds after Buffy's departure through the wall. He put Cordelia back on the floor where she promptly slapped him.


"What took you so long? God, I could have walked here faster."

Angel rubbed the back of his head where Cordelia smacked hit and sat down at the table. "I wanted to make sure that we didn't run into any demons or pirates. But don't worry, everyone should be here soon."

Cordelia nodded. "Yeah its like the library, where else do they go?"


Ethan smirked as he walked behind the statue of Janus. "What? No hug? I see being in America has ruined your good manners."

Giles walked closer to him. "I'm just surprised I didn't guess it was you. This Halloween stunt stinks of Ethan Rayne."

Ethan shrugged his shoulders. "I'm usually very modest, but it's genius isn't it? The very embodiment of 'be careful what you wish for'."

Giles sneered. "It's sick, ugly, and it harms the innocent."

Ethan shook his head and smiled. "No, its chaos, beautiful and brutal in nature." He sighed. "But don't worry, the demons wont overrun the town. They've got competition."

Giles' face contorted in anger. "What?"

The chaos mage smirked. "Oh, demons by themselves aren't very chaotic, just destructive. Which is why I added another type of costume readily available in stock."

Giles nodded, remembering what Buffy had told him. "Pirates."

Ethan smiled. "Yes pirates. But not just any pirates. These were the best of the worst. The entire crew was cursed by heathen gods to live as the undead."

Giles asked incredulously. "Zombie pirates?"

Ethan shook his head and laughed. "I'm getting a lot of that reaction. I just simply let the curse flow into the costumes. It was simple really, Chaos will allow anything with a balance to it. The pirate costumes were a perfect counter to the demon costumes."

Giles grabbed Ethan by the collar of his robe and growled at him. "Break the spell, Ethan. Then leave this place and never come back."

Ethan mocked him in a high-pitched tone. "Oh, Rupert, you're turning me on."

Giles punched him in the gut with a left, making him double over, and followed up with a right to the face.


The battle was at a stalemate. The pirates couldn't be killed. The demons wouldn't back down. Several piles of dust littered the ground at Xander's feet. To his left was Willow. She had run out of ammunition for the pistols early on, and had picked up a large club to beat the demons with. To his right was Jack. He held his cutlass in one hand while pistol-whipping a large porcupine with the gun in his other. Behind him, Xander heard a menacing laugh. He turned to see the most evil, vile creature he had ever laid eyes upon.


On instinct, Jack sparrow turned and shot the offending creature. He turned back to see a slightly shaken Xander continuing to fight off a large Rock Demon. He shouted across to him. "What was that about?"

Xander shook his head and motioned to the fallen clown behind him. "I don't like jesters or clowns."

Jack looked incredulous as he ran his sword through the Bull Demon's neck. "Why not?"

Xander replied seriously as he kicked the Rock Demon in the 'face.' "They're evil."

"Are not."

"Are so."

"Are not."

"Are so."

"Will you boys just be quiet?" Willow turned to face them as she clubbed a vampire unconscious before muttering under her breath. "And they call themselves pirates."

Xander kneed a vampire in the groin before turning back to Jack.

"They are so."


Spike and his minions watched in shock and slight amusement as the pirates were seemingly able to hold their own against the attacking hordes. He turned to his lieutenants and sighed. "If you want something done right..."


Out of the corner of his eye, Xander saw a familiar form lying on the porch of a house. He turned to Willow. "Elizabeth!"

She kneed the vampire she was fighting with in the crotch and dropped him to the ground. "Yes William?"

He dodged a flying vampire and stabbed it in the head before pointing to his right. "Look!"

She turned to see the blond girl from earlier lying motionless. She nodded and grabbed her club before following Xander to the girl's position.

Xander knelt down and hesitantly touched her forehead. Willow stood guard. "What are you doing?" she hissed.

"I don't know, I just thought that my hand might simply go through her."

Willow sighed and switched places. Xander stood up with his sword to guard the two women while Willow took over trying to wake the young woman.


Buffy watched in horror as she approached the battle. A leprechaun was being dropkicked by what looked like a Bath'aal demon before being shot in the chest by a large bearded pirate. Two other demons were facing off a young pirate with a large hat and dreadlocks. He seemed to be faring well against two Bull Demons until he looked over his shoulder to see her. He rushed over to her side.


Xander turned back to face Willow. "Come on Elizabeth, I don't have all day." He turned back around to see a blond man casually walk over to him. He readied his sword. The man just smirked. "Well droops, what are you doin' out on a night like tonight?"

Xander cocked his head to the side. "Droops?"

Spike took a cigarette out of his jacket and lit it. "I suppose that you're one of those 'pirates' I keep hearing about?"

Xander smirked and motioned for Willow to take the girl into the house. "I was a pirate at one point and time, I guess you can say tonight, I fell back into bad habits."

Spike shifted into game face. "You aint the only one whelp."


Buffy saw Xander and Spike face off against each other. She shouted, "Xander!" and ran towards the house. Jack looked at her retreating figure and sighed. "Everyone just loves the lad don't they?"

He turned to fight an incoming demon only to see a group of children sized pirates jump all over it and take it down by force.


He turned to see a 5 foot 7 inch Godzilla reigned destruction down upon the smaller demons before chasing one that resembled a large moth.

Jack Sparrow decided to leave that one be and attacked a nearby group of vampires.


Willow pulled the girl through the open door and set her on the couch. She trusted him to handle himself against any vampire or creature. She smiled as she reloaded her pistol. "Doesn't mean I can't help."


Spike grew furious as the boy kept dodging his attacks and slicing him with the sword. "I'm going to rip your bloody intestines out and shove them down your throat!"

Xander smirked and punched him in the face. "My don't you have a filthy mouth?"

They were interrupted by the form of a blond girl running in between them. "Xander run!"

Xander turned to the girl. "I'm not Xan...oh there you are."

Spike saw the opportunity to knock Xander over and lunged at Buffy only to pass through her and fall off the porch.


Willow looked out the window and aimed her pistol


Giles walked over to where Ethan was laying and kicked him in the face again. The bloody chaos mage rolled over and spit out a tooth. "That all you got Ripper?"

The librarian put his heel over Ethan's testicles and slowly pressed down. "How do I stop the curse?"

Ethan squealed in pain. "The statue, it's connected to the medallion, it's the focus point."

Giles picked up his foot and stomped on the man's chest, knocking the air out of him. He walked over to the statue.


Spike growled and lunged toward Xander. Xander held back his sword preparing to strike. Willow tensed as she pulled the trigger.


Giles threw the statue into the wall, shattering it.



Willow looked at the pistol in confusion as the cork flew out. Spike growled as he felt something hit his left eye. Xander shook his head, clearing it before being knocked down by the blond vampire. "Bloody hell, you shot my eye!"

Xander pushed him off and sliced his arm. "No, I cut your arm."

Spike growled. "Oh, you're gonna pay for that one droops."

He lunged forward only to be knocked down by a very pissed off slayer wearing a sheet. Buffy tore off the ghost costume and threw him onto the lawn. "Hi honey, remember me?"


Down the street, Andrew Wells took off his dreadlock wig and hat and ran away.


Xander watched as Buffy started to corral the children walking around. Some were a little bruised and complaining, but none were dead or seriously injured. It seemed that whatever happened to them also protected them from being hurt. The zombie pirates were unable to be killed and most of the demons were immune to guns and most of the weapons present in the battle. He watched as a ragged Jonathon in a torn and ragged Godzilla costume hobbled down the street to his house. He saw everyone was there except for Willow. He looked around for the redhead and saw her leaning against a tree, crying her eyes out. He started walking towards her. "Willow, are you okay?"

The redhead turned to see him running towards her and ran off behind the houses.

He jumped into a full sprint and chased after her. "WILLOW!"


Willow sat in her room. She knew everyone was going to be okay, but she just had to get out of there. It just felt so real. One second she was standing infront of him, babbling, the next they were pirates fighting off the demons. As weird as it sounds, she felt at home. The feelings that the woman had mirrored exactly hoe she felt for Xander. They grew up as best friends; always afraid to change for fear that it would ruin their friendship.

She stood up and walked over to her mirror and took out the medallion from underneath her costume. She looked at it and then at her own reflection and absentmindedly started to rub the necklace. She knew of William's fear of rejection. Of constantly feeling like he wasn't good enough. She knew that Xander was the same way. The spell gave her hope. Both of them loved each other but feared the other didn't. She felt that maybe, just maybe Xander could feel for her like that. But then the spell ended, and she saw him looking at Buffy. Buffy had come to save the day...again. She had the gun lined up to save him from Spike. Granted, it turned out to be a cork-gun, but still.

She sighed and started to take off the costume.


Xander sat alone in the library. Everyone had gone home for the night. He would've gone home himself, but he wasn't in the mood for the fighting. At the beginning of the night, he planned to meet up with Buffy and Willow at Buffy's place, but he saw Buffy walking away with Angel. And Willow ran away from him. He knew she probably went home. He tried her on the phone for about an hour and a half. He went there in person but no one answered the door. But the light was on in her room. He knew she was all right. He didn't know how he knew, but he did. He sighed and let his head slump onto the table.

Giles groaned as he walked into the library with a large stack of books. 'Bloody teenagers.' "Please Xander, if you insist on staying here, could you at least help with some research?"

Xander moaned and looked up at the British librarian before taking a book from top of the stack. "So, what am I looking for?"

Giles sat down at the table opposite of him and opened another book from the stack. "The spell Ethan used had some rather unusual side effects. You and Willow..."

Xander perked up and nearly shouted. "You spoke with Willow."

Giles gave him a peculiar look. "Yes, I just spoke to her on the phone. She got home..."

Xander didn't wait for him to finish. "What did she say?"

Giles held up a hand. "Slow down Xander, she said that she was fine, but experiencing, I guess memories from her costume. I don't quite get it myself really. The spell should not have any ill effects."

"Is she okay?"

Giles nodded and turned a page. "I assure you that the spell, while annoying, will not have any long lasting harmful effects. We were all supposed to die during the spell, thank you Ethan."

Xander nodded and decided to start reading. "So what did she say?"

Giles sighed. "Actually I wanted to know if you are remembering anything from your Halloween experience."

Xander sighed. "Well there's only two or three things that are permanently etched into my head right now."

Giles waited for a second then sighed. "Such as..."

Xander smiled briefly. "Yeah sorry. Well on a high note, I'm pretty sure I'm a badass when it comes to swordplay. And I think I can make some swords and other weapons, if given the equipment."

Giles nodded and got up to look for a book on metallurgy to test Xander's newly acquired knowledge. "Well Xander, while I don't necessarily approve of your fighting and patrolling, I think that it would be an asset. What else?"

Giles found the book he was looking for and walked back to the table to see Xander fidgeting in his seat. He put the book on the top of the stack and sat down opposite of him. "Are you okay Xander?"

Xander looked up at him. "Yeah, its just the last thing is a bit of a doozy."

Giles opened several more of his books, preparing to look up whatever supernatural event it might be. "Its okay Xander, you can tell me, we'll get to the bottom of it."

Xander sighed. "I think that I like Willow."

Silence permeated the room for several seconds.

Xander looked around nervously. "What?"

Giles sighed and started to clean his glasses. "Is that it?"

Xander felt a little silly. "Well...yeah?"

Giles finish cleaning his glasses and put them back on before addressing him. "Xander, my initial research indicates that people with personal items with their costumes, that is your sword and Willow's medallion, might summon the spirits of those people to occupy them for the night."

Xander gave him a confused look. "Okay, I'm following, but I don't see where this is going."

Giles sighed again. "It still should not leave any excess or residual energy or memories after the possession."

Xander's eyes widened. "So what are you saying?"

Giles turned around one of the books facing him to show Xander. "I believe that while you may gain some memories because of the personal nature of the items used for the spell. What you are feeling for Willow might simply be real."

Giles watched as Xander jumped up and ran out of the library.

He sat there for several seconds before leaning over and putting Xander book back on the top of the stack. "Yes, well. My books and I are certainly in for an interesting night together."


Xander stood outside the door, trying to gather up courage. He looked down at himself. The day before changed his wardrobe a little. Instead of bright Hawaiian shirts and jeans, he found himself wearing light buttoned shirts and earth tones. He smiled to himself. All the complaining about his sense of clothing and all it took was a chaos spell and being possessed on Halloween. He turned back to the door and rested his finger above the doorbell. It just sat there hovering for a second. What was he going to say? 'Hi Wills, I'm sorry for being such an idiot. Please forgive me. Oh by the way, I'm thinking about you in not-so-friendly ways, hope you don't mind.' He sighed to himself and turned to walk away.


He turned around to see Willow holding the door open. Her hair was down by her shoulders with a pleading look on her face. "I'm sorry...I was just...at the door you know, waiting for you to ring."

Xander chuckled nervously. "Yeah, I think that it might be broken."

Willow smiled a little and silence reigned for a few seconds before Xander spoke up. "Um, can we go somewhere private?"

Willow looked nervous, but swallowed her fear and stepped back to let him into the house. "Sure, um, we can to up to my room."


Willow walked into her room and gestured at the discarded costume lying on the floor. "Tada. Just little old 20th-century me."

Xander took a step forward and put his hands on her shoulders. "Is there anything wrong with that?"

Willow walked out of his arms and sat down on the bed. "Yeah, sure, I mean..." she looked at her hands and sighed before looking back at his face, her eyes brimming with tears. "You're not disappointed?"

Xander tried to get her to look him in the face. "Why would I be? I'm nothing without my Wills."

Willow stared off into space. "When I was, whoever I was, I could kick butt and handle the demons and everything with ease. It felt like although I wasn't completely in control of my body, I could still hear and feel everything."

Xander sat down next to her on the bed. "So could I."

Willow shook her head and looked up at him. "That wasn't just it...I could feel her love. She loved you, I mean him." She growled and fisted her hands. "God, its so confusing."

Xander started to gently rub her back. "I don't now about that. While I have got the handy ability to make horseshoes forever etched into my memory. It made me realize some things."

Willow looked in his face. "Like what?"

Xander took a deep breath. "Things about you...and me...us...kinda."

Willow looked back down at her feet. "Oh."

He held out a hand and forced her gaze back upon him. "No it's not like that. Wills, I just honestly don't know what to say. I mean, what is it, ten years of friendship, and now I want something...more."

Willow's face had dropped to sheer white, and began sobbing. Xander was afraid that she might simply be horrified of the thought of being with him. "I'm sorry, Wills, Its okay."

Willow shook her head. "No God Xander, do you know how long I've been waiting for this?"

Xander shook his head, not quite understanding. "For what?"

Willow continued to cry, only with a large smile. "God, Xander, I've loved you since we were ten, now tell me what you were going to say."

Xander had a small playful smile as he held her face and wiped away some of her tears. "Willow, with everything else that's been going on, It made me realize something about you. I need you Willow. God, I don't even know how to begin to tell you how much you mean to me."

Willow had a smirk through her tears. "Well, I had a really hard day, with all...all the fighting and the zombies and, and everything else. You should probably tell me."

Xander smiled and inched nearer to her on the bed. "You're right. I probably should, but you know me. I'm not so good with the explaining."

Willow's tears lessened as he turned her head to face his. Xander smiled and continued speaking softly to her. "I never was good at that, you know? I might get the idea or might somehow understand something, but I needed someone to help me, to help me interpret or understand something. I need you on such a basic level Wills. I just never really realized it till now. I love you."

Willow sniffled as she continued crying. Xander caressed her check with his left hand. "You okay Wills?"

Willow smiled as she wiped away some of her tears. "Definitely."

Xander took his right hand and caressed her other check. "Willow, I'm going to do something that I've only done once or twice before, either when we were five, or on the height of an ice-cream induced madness. This is going to be me, just me, kissing you."

Xander bent his head down and felt his lips softly graze hers. Willow arched her head up and could feel the warmth radiating off of his lips. It was a chaste kiss. There was no lust behind it, only innocent love. Xander could feel the tears of joy rolling down the red-head's checks into his face as he lowered his head from her and looked back at her. Xander smiled at her. "You know, this kinda reminds me of those Disney movies, where they save that one kiss for the-OOMPH."

Xander was attacked by a passionate sixteen year old redhead with eleven years of unrequited love.


Down the street, Andrew Wells sat in his room looking at various scifi magazines when he heard alight tapping noise at his window. He opened his window to see a small monkey sitting on the ledge. Andrew knelt down to look at him. "Hello there, who are you?"

The monkey screeched and Andrew noticed a collar on his neck. "Hmm, Jack is it?"


Willow and Xander sat on the bed for hours, talking, laughing, and reaffirming their friendship and possibly something more.

The End.