As Xander sat waiting for Seras Victoria to return from her official duties, those being to destroy any non-human being (referred to as NHB by Hellsing members, he had learned) that she encountered, at the behest of the Hellsing Organisation, he thought about the first time he had met her.
It was raining, it was cold, and Xander Harris was certain he would soon turn blue. The chill in the air seemed to permeate his very bones, and the thick jacket and scarf that was wrapped around his body offered no protection from it. The differences between California and London couldn't have been more obvious if they had smacked him in the face physically.
He closed his eye as the rain beat down harder on him, beating an almost military tattoo on the ground around him.
'Great. Just frigging wonderful! You had to go and tempt fate, didn't you Xander? Goddamn idiot.'
He looked at the stake and cross held tightly in his hands, and wondered, not for the first time, what on earth he thought he was doing patrolling through an English graveyard in the wee small hours of the morning. Evidently he was not the only one who was considering this strange state of affairs. He turned around slowly when a voice spoke up behind him.
"Excuse me, but...um...what exactly are you doing wandering a Graveyard at this time of night?"
His sole remaining eye finally caught up with the owner of the voice, and he smiled. She was a really pretty woman. Around his age, medium height, spiky blonde hair, and a body with enough curves to make Cordy or Faith feel inadequate. The curious, slightly nervous expression on her face made him feel...something. He didn't know what, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know what it was at this precise moment in time anyway.
"I'm patrolling for Vampires, ma'am."
She gasped in shock, her eyes widening in a really cute expression that made the something that Xander was feeling intensify.
"Gosh, an American! Oh my, how impolite of me. My name is Seras Victoria."
He put his stake in his pocket and extended his right hand.
"The name's Xander, Miss Victoria, Xander Harris."
They shook hands, and Xander absently noted the strength of her grip, and the calluses that spoke of hand-to-hand training. She had a nice accent, too. Kind of middle-class English, but too well practiced to be authentic.
"I'll walk you home, if you like, Miss Victoria. I hate to let anyone walk alone through a graveyard at night."
She smiled, and Xander's stomach started to tingle.
This was bad, very very bad. He was falling for this woman, with a speed rivalled only by the fall he had taken from his skateboard when he had seen Buffy in passing that first, life-changing day at Sunnydale high. What was worse, was that he couldn't find any way of stopping himself. Thoughts of Anya ran through his head, and he latched onto them, trying to convince himself that he was betraying her. Despite his best efforts, the usual self-loathing and guilt that usually surrounded his thoughts of Anya were gone.
'Damn it! You really picked a great time to get over Anya's death, you cretin!'
He realised he had stopped paying attention to where he was walking, and looked around. Xander was a klutz, had always been a klutz, and with one eye his klutz rating was cranked up to intolerable levels. So it was no surprise to him when he fell, and his cross clattered from his grip as his hands reflexively tried to reach the ground first and spare his face a painful altercation with the ground.
Seras was at his side in seconds, gently lifting him up with one hand, while her other held the cross that he had dropped. Alarm bells had started ringing at the close proximity, and Xander realised that a normal woman would have had serious trouble lifting a man of his height and weight off the ground with both hands, let alone one.
His eye flicked downward, taking in the cross that she was holding with no ill effect in her left hand.
'Phew. If she can hold that, she can't be a Vamp. Does that mean that she's a Slayer?'
Seras, meanwhile, was thinking entirely different thoughts.
'My goodness, he's very muscular underneath all those clothes. Crumbs! What am I thinking?'
She shook her head, reprimanding herself. She was far too busy to even consider beginning a relationship at the minute. If she did, she would be an absentee girlfriend, what with the nature of her duties for Ms Integra and the Hellsing Organisation. Then, there was the additional fact that she hadn't the first clue of how to go about getting a boyfriend, or even how to tell if a man was interested in that sort of thing.
'It'd be just my luck to try and ask a gay man out on a date.'
She smiled. She'd let Xander escort her home, more out of concern for his safety than for hers. A stake was of little practical value against a Freak or a Ghoul, let alone a real Vampire!
It was at that moment that the strange coincidences that seemed to surround the Scooby Gang came into effect. A Vampire, one of the ones that Xander was more than used to dealing with, jumped out from behind a bush, game face on, looking for an easy meal.
By the time Seras had drawn her SOCOM from its hidden holster, Xander had closed in and was blocking her shot. He ripped the Vampire apart in close quarters, and ended up standing behind it, cross poised to brand its face.
"It's kinda funny that we ran into this little fella. I've been patrolling out here for weeks, and nada, zip, zilch. Then a good ol' Demon possessed corpse pops up outta nowhere, just when I need to give a show and tell session."
Seras just nodded. That was rather strange. As was the ease with which Xander had decimated the Vampire. It seemed to be far weaker than anything she had ever encountered. And it was healing so slowly! Xander considered exactly how to go about explaining this next part to Seras. If she was a Slayer, then she needed to know the truth, there were no two ways about it. And if she wasn't a Slayer, how would she take this radical deconstruction of her world?
He took a deep breath and began.
"This is a Vampire. Very basic description is that he's a guy who was drained by another Vampire and fed blood. After he died, his soul was cast from his body and a Demon took up residence."
Seras looked dubious. Was this where he started going on about abominations and cleansing and stuff? She hadn't liked that when Alexander Anderson had spouted it off, and she wasn't about to have it spoon-fed to her by her new acquaintance!
She was about to read him the riot act, when Xander touched the Vampire with the cross he was holding. The effect was instantaneous. The Vampire screamed in pain, and smoke started to rise from his skin at the point of contact. Seras felt her desire to set the record straight fly straight out the window.
"What the bloody Hell!?"
In her shock, her accent had slipped back into a cockney twang.
Xander smirked.
"Hell has a lot to do with it, Seras. When the soul goes, so does the conscience. Any inhibitions that the human had, the Vampire lacks. Often a Vampire will seek out his or her own family and massacre them, before moving on to anyone or anything else that takes their interest. Torture is also a favoured hobby."
Seras felt sick. She finally understood the Master's disdain for the monsters that Hellsing dealt with. These things weren't fit to be called Vampires, they were simply monsters. How had the Master phrased it?
"You are the maggot underneath the garbage!"
That was it. Hardly a pretty turn of phrase, but it was highly accurate.
She wondered if she was anything like those things. She had been known to fly off the handle, even to go a little...berserk. Would she end up a monster like that? She thought about it.
They torture their families. If my father was still alive, and he was tortured and murdered, how would I feel?
The sadness that accompanied that thought was deep and painful, but the nausea that accompanied it was almost overpowering. She smiled, feeling relieved that she could still see a line between herself and the monsters that Xander fought.
'I may no longer be a human, but I'm not a monster yet.'
Xander waited for her to finish her introspection before he continued the lesson.
"They need an invitation to come in, they don't die of old age or disease, and they don't die when attacked with most modern weaponry. So your .45 isn't much use."
She looked down at her gun, and realised that she hadn't holstered it. She gave him an embarrassed smile, before putting it away.
"What does work, is beheading, exposure to sunlight or a wooden stake through the heart. Holy water burns, and fire is of increased effectiveness against their dead skin."
She nodded.
"I'm still not sure why you're telling me all this, though. I'm just a Copper, not a Vampire Hunter."
She was amazed that she could say that with a straight face. It was, after all, a lie. A shameless, totally untrue statement.
Xander, thankful that he had been given an opening, started what he had termed the 'Slayer sales pitch'.
Seras listened in rapt attention.
"The world is older than you know, Seras Victoria..."
Xander smiled, looking at the clock. He'd spent an hour remembering, and Seras still wasn't back. Whatever was happening must have been serious to take this long.
'I hope she's all right. She still hasn't gotten used to the whole "they're not human" thing.'
He sighed, and quickly became caught up in his musings.
She had been torn between telling Xander the whole truth, and considering what he had told her. Whenever she got her mind on one train of thought, the other derailed it. He walked her back to the small flat she had grown up in, which she had given as her address. Then, as he turned to leave she grabbed him by the arm, spun him around to face her, and planted a soft kiss on his cheek.
He noticed, through his shock, that her eyes were actually a bright shade of red.
"Xander, you should know, I can't be a Slayer. I'm a Vampire as well."
Then she had turned and walked into her house, closing the door behind her in a clear dismissal.
She looked in the mirror, her expression indecipherable even to herself. The thought idly crossed her mind that here was yet another difference between herself and the Vampires inhabited by Demons.
"That was the most foolish thing you have ever done, Seras Victoria. But I'm incredibly proud of you, old girl. Now, he has all the facts, and he can decide what to do with 'em."
She went off to bed, and failed to notice the mirror swirl with red and black colours, as several red eyes became visible in the inky black that now covered the mirror.
Alucard had observed with interest the little meeting between Police-Girl and the one-eyed man. The Hellmouth had left its mark on the boy, and Alucard could feel the dark energy rolling off him. There was something else there, though. Earth magic seemed to suffuse the boy, as if he had been exposed to massive amounts of it at some point.
'A hunter like that could be a formidable ally to my Master. Or an entertaining challenge. Perhaps he could rid me of my boredom? Worth keeping an eye or several on, I think.'
In a swirl of red and black, the mirror's surface became reflective again.
The next morning, Seras knocked on Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing's door and waited to be permitted access.
"Enter!"
She did so quickly, still more than a little intimidated buy the Master of her Master, the head of the Hellsing Organisation. She was not easy to deal with when normal, and even less so when angry.
"Ah, Miss Victoria. I assume you have come to inform me of your midnight stroll with a handsome young man?"
She nodded, too shocked to speak. Her Master walked through the wall and stood beside Sir Integra.
"Um...if I may ask, how did you know?"
Alucard gave his widest grin, showing off his fangs, giving Seras all the answer she needed.
"Oh, that's how."
Integra almost seemed to smile, before becoming all business once again. She read out clearly the information that lay on her desk, compiled for her by Walter that very morning.
"Harris, Alexander. Aged 23, formerly of Sunnydale, California. Currently residing in London at an address paid for by the funds of the now defunct Watcher's Council. A Watcher-in-Training, former independent Vampire Killer and ally of three separate Slayers. Summers, Buffy. Hawthorne, Kendra. Wilkins, Faith. He survived run-ins with various members of The Scourge of Europe, and even a battle with a mage who had ascended to Demonhood. He held an array of dead-end jobs before finding he had a talent for carpentry, and rising quickly through the ranks of Thomas and Jacobs Construction. Became a foreman of the highest quality, earning the best wages in the company."
Integra's voice had risen with distaste and bemusement when she had read out the name Buffy.
'What kind of woman names her daughter Buffy?'
"His group have amassed an impressive amount of NHB kills, from fledglings all the way up to a banished Hell Goddess."
"Glorificus?"
"Do you know her, Alucard?"
"Yes my Master. She was physically faster and stronger than almost anything else in the world. Absolutely insane, but heavily involved in female pursuits such as shopping and fashion. Always in search of her 'Key', and waited on by rather disgusting retainers."
By the way he said the word 'almost', it was clear to both women that the Goddess had not been faster or stronger than Alucard.
"Hm. They did the rest of the world a favour. I wonder how they did it? She survived my full power, despite my best efforts."
His musings were ignored by the two listeners.
"Sir?"
"Yes Miss Victoria?"
"You described Harris as a Vampire Killer. What exactly does that entail?"
"He kills Vampires. It differs from a Vampire Hunter in that no hunting is undertaken. Instead, Vampires are drawn to the person in question and killed. They tend to concentrate on saving innocent victims rather than eradication of Vampires."
Both listeners were almost insensate with shock. From anyone else, the first sentence of that explanation would have been a joke. But...this was Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing. She did not joke.
Integra smirked. It pays to keep the hired help on their toes. Especially a Vampire with a boredom threshold as low as Alucard's was.
Alucard was sure that his Master had just spoken in jest. He was convinced of it. But...
'I'll never understand mortals. Especially this one.'
Integra began reading again, having devoted enough time to confusing her servant and, in turn, his servant.
"After Sunnydale was destroyed by what we have discovered was some form of powerful magic, despite the fault line excuse that the masses have so willingly accepted. Refugees from Sunnydale began pouring out en masse long before the town collapsed. We believe these are responsible."
A picture came up on the screen of the laptop on perched on the edge of the desk. A large, clearly inhuman monster, and a second image of a short creature dressed in robes, with its eyes and mouth shut.
Alucard laughed suddenly.
"This just gets better and better! Harbingers make their reappearance, and Turok-Hahn with them."
Integra stared at him.
"I am unfamiliar with those terms, Alucard. Explain yourself."
"Turok-Hahn are the original Demonic-type Vampire, from which the more human looking modern type branched off long ago, after diluting their blood too much. Stronger, faster and far more resilient than the more common types, they even have a bone plate that protects the heart. I had heard that they were sealed long ago, but that the Hellmouth was used as a prison is news even to me. It must have been a spell of impressive intricacy."
"Harbingers?"
He waved his hand in the air. A long-suffering sigh stifled before it could pass his lips.
'So impatient, my Master. But then, you don't have an eternity to wait, do you?'
These humans died so quickly, after all.
"I was coming to that, Master. Harbingers are used by an entity that was long ago named the First Evil. Incorporeal, and really rather pathetic, but for a good understanding of the psychology, and a party trick that allows it to look like anyone who is or has been dead."
"What is it, some kind of NHB?"
Alucard shrugged.
"I have no idea as to its origins. It is older than me. Some have theorised that it may be the Devil, or a servant of his with an over inflated ego."
Integra shivered. To have to do battle with that would be...unpleasant.
"To return to our original topic, Harris is currently undergoing training for a position as a Field Watcher in the re-emerging Watcher's Council, led by Rupert Giles."
Something clicked in Police Girl's head with that name. Whatever it was, it was somewhere deep in the back of her mind, and she couldn't get a firm grip on it yet. She'd leave it alone and hopefully it would come to her.
Alucard grinned. Integra favoured him with a cool look.
"I'm sure I don't need to go over the resume of Ripper for you, Alucard"
A light went on in Seras' head, and she suddenly recalled everything her Father had suspected about Ripper over the course of his investigations. A gasp echoed around the room, gaining the attention of Hellsing and her pet Vampire.
"Is something the matter, Ms Victoria?"
"No sir, it's just..."
"Just what? Spit it out, girl!"
"My father was involved in the Ripper Investigation."
"I thought that your name was familiar. I had no idea that you were related to such a famous officer."
"Well, neither did I, sir, until he told me about it much later. Some of those tales gave me nightmares for weeks, despite the fact that I was a full-grown woman when I heard them."
"So, Alexander Harris knows Ripper, does he?"
"Giles was the school librarian at Sunnydale High School."
Alucard looked as if he'd just been told that his .454 Casull was to be replaced with a pea-shooter.
"What!?"
"He was sent there to work as the Librarian while mentoring Buffy Summers, as her Field Watcher."
Seras almost raised her hand, feeling like a particularly slow schoolgirl.
"Sir? May I ask how exactly we know all of this?"
Integra gave a smile that was nothing at all to do with amusement. It was more like the smile a wolf reserves for a particularly succulent lamb.
"The Royal Protestant Knights have many loyal informants, Miss Victoria. Even among an organisation as old as the Watchers Council of Great Britain."
Seras just nodded, unsure what kind of response was appropriate to a statement like that.
"Master, give me your order."
"I'd like to offer Mr Harris a position in the Hellsing Organisation. Kindly escort him here, Alucard."
Again with the toothy grin.
"I obey, my Master."
Xander looked at the clock, seeing that another hour had passed. Still no Seras. Well, she was probably being debriefed by Sir Integra, and would then have to return her armaments to the Quartermaster. Travel time to and from location had to be considered as well.
His mind slowly repainted the scene he had found upon entering the office.
Integra Wingates Hellsing stood behind her desk, facing a window and looking at the grounds of Hellsing Manor, a lit cigar clenched between her aristocratic lips. Alexander Harris was escorted in by Alucard in front of him and Seras behind him. Alucard took up his customary position beside his Master, while Seras stood off to the side of the room.
"Good morning, Mr Harris. I am Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing. The leader of this Organisation."
"Pleased to meet you, ma'am."
Neither party in the conversation offered a hand.
"That's quite an injury you have, Mr Harris."
A wry smile from the guest.
"Isn't it? I got into an argument with a Preacher."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. He was the servant of the last Big Bad who tried to mess with Sunnydale. A friend of mine tried to teach him a different debating technique. He ended up going to pieces over the whole thing..."
The smile that accompanied this statement did not reach his eye.
Alucard could hear that the boy's heartbeat was calm, that his breathing was under control, and that the one-eyed man was entirely aware of every movement around him.
'He's good. The best human I've seen in a long time, perhaps he could become as good as Walter given the opportunity.'
Integra was more than a little put off by the way the boy mentioned his altercation with a Preacher. Hellsing made no secret of its Protestant affiliation, or its loyalty to Queen and Country. The boy might not be comfortable with that after a supposed religious man had gouged his eye out. On the other hand, if he wouldn't join Hellsing, he would be just as unlikely to join The Vatican's Iscariot Organisation, as well.
"Would you be willing to join the Hellsing Organisation?"
"That depends on what exactly it is that the Hellsing Organisation does."
"Our orders from Her Majesty, The Queen are to search for and destroy any Non-Human Beings we find."
"I can get behind that. But from what I can tell, you've got a couple of unbelievably powerful Vampires on your side, and an army at your beck and call. You don't need me."
"We need every skilled person we can get in order to succeed in our mission! The Vampires we fight are very different from the ones that you have encountered, Mr Harris. Every victim, whether alive or dead, becomes a Ghoul, little more than a mindless zombie. Vampires and Ghouls are difficult to deal with at the best of times, but now we have an artificial method being used to create even more of them, and Hellsing is not able to destroy all of them as we currently are!"
"That's not good, but I still don't see what kind of a difference I can make. I'm just one guy, and I can't even claim to have 20/20 vision anymore. There are only two things I've ever been good for. Carpentry, and Demon bait. What the Hell use am I to an organisation that kills Vampires?"
"We want you, because you are one of the most experienced fighters in the world today. What's more, you did your job with nothing more than some crudely carved stakes and some blessed items. We can give you weaponry specifically designed for the purpose of eradicating NHBs."
"OK, first? My stakes were very well carved. If I do something, I do it right. Second? Guns don't do squat against a Vampire."
Alucard spoke for the first time during this little meeting.
"13mm explosive rounds made from silver alloy that contains metal taken from the Cross of Lancaster Cathedral will work wonders against anything, boy."
Xander whistled, visibly impressed.
"I get that! There ain't much a round like that wouldn't kill."
He was lost in thought for a few moments, and Integra allowed herself to hope that he was considering her offer.
#Master?#
#Alucard? I hope for your sake that this is important! I do not appreciate being spoken to in this manner.#
#I am aware of this, Master, but the boy's state of mind is cause for concern.#
#How so?#
#He truly believes that he is of no use to us, and that mortals who try to battle against Vampires are destined for failure, including himself. He has been indoctrinated to believe that fighting should be left to Slayers.#
#Damn! How can we convince him to join us if he doesn't believe he can offer us anything worthwhile?#
#I do not know. I told you once that your world of choices is not one I am meant to interfere with.#
#And my response was that my world is your world. It still holds true, Alucard!#
There was silence as Integra puffed elegantly on her cigar.
#He has come to a decision, my Master.#
Xander began to speak, his mind made up.
"I'm not sure exactly what use I can be to your organisation, but I'm definitely interested in helping out. Would it be possible to see how you operate?"
Integra gave him a genuine smile, and stubbed out her Cigar.
"Yes. We have a firing range on the grounds. Seras will show you there."
Seras gave him a small smile and lead him off.
Alucard and Integra looked at each other as the two younger occupants left the room.
"Thank God for that. I thought for a moment he would refuse. If his loyalty to his friends is anything like this file suggests, we would have to present him with an enormous problem in order to make him interested in helping us out. And if he is truly as stubborn as his profile states, a refusal would have been absolute."
"Well, it's up to us to convince him of the gravity of the situation, my Master."
There were whispers as they reached the firing range.
"Great, another irregular!"
"Is he a Vampire too?"
"Hey, that guy's only got one eye!"
Xander leaned in and whispered to Seras.
"Do I really want to hear what these guys are saying?"
She shook her head softly, giving him an apologetic look.
He could make out the murmuring of whispers that he probably shouldn't be able to hear, but then, losing a sense did tend to strengthen the others, right? Or was that just a myth?
He didn't know. Then again, even if it wasn't the case for 99% of the world, sometimes the Hellmouth had changed the rules without telling anybody. Or maybe there were residual Hyena effects. He shivered at that thought. Such a loss of control was still a real part of his nightmares. At least here, there were people capable of taking him out should he relapse.
Seras lead him to the weapons lockers, and pulled out a Browning. Xander accepted it, turned and took up a firing position at the first empty lane. The clip was out and loaded in a matter of moments, before being snapped back into the butt of the pistol. Xander inspected the pistol once and found it in perfect working order, except for a small scratch half way along the barrel.
He looked down the sights and fired once, gripping the weapon firmly and absorbing the recoil. Soldier Boy had been gone a long time, but Xander remembered the basics of the hundreds of hours of firearms drills that Soldier Boy had implanted in his head. The sighting shot told him everything he needed to know in order to correct his aim. Then he planted a set of bullets unevenly around the heart of the target, some ending up in the lungs and one in the stomach. Another missed entirely.
'Well, it has been five years. Guess I'm sorely out of practice.'
And one-eyed, he didn't bother to add.
He ejected the clip, caught it as it fell, and then began reloading with fresh rounds from the box beside him. Again, he slapped it into the receiver and began firing.
30 minutes later, Xander's pistol work was almost flawless. Soldier Boy was gone but not forgotten, it seemed. Wherever he aimed at, a hole appeared a second later. He fired the final bullet, then turned and was met by nods of grudging respect from the Hellsing soldiers who had watched with interest and were now filing out.
"Well done. It takes a lot to get a little respect from these guys."
"Thanks, Seras."
He began to break down the pistol, but was interrupted by a polite cough from close by.
"Sir, please allow me to take care of that for you. Sir Integra has dispatched a unit to deal with a Ghoul sighting. She has informed me that you wished to accompany an active unit, and sent me to let you know."
"Thank you Walter."
Seras grabbed Xander by the arm and rushed out, dragging him behind her.
"Yeah, thanks Butler Guy!"
He shook his head, chuckling.
'I see that the Americans haven't changed in the last sixty years. That's good to know.'
They left to follow the Soldiers, who were now filing into an armoured carrier and preparing to leave. Xander was handed a Browning with live ammo and shoved on board. He sat and inspected the gun, releasing the clip and checking it was fully loaded, before slamming the clip back into place. It was only then that he noticed the notch halfway along the barrel.
"How the hell...?"
His eye snapped up and cast around frantically, coming to rest on a smirking Walter, who gave him a salute as the back door of the transport slid closed.
'Butler Guy sure can move fast, can't he?'
Seras sat beside him.
"You'll be with me when we move out. Stay close, these things are much faster than anything you've ever dealt with."
Xander looked at the clock. Only half an hour since he had last looked at it. He could remember the concern that Seras had shown, her obvious concern that he would be over-confident and leave himself open. She had no cause to worry, as Xander Harris was rarely very confident about anything, especially when dealing with Vampires. Even his once unshakeable faith in Buffy was now little more than a shade of its former glory.
Xander and Seras had found the Ghoul, and chased it down to a dead-end alleyway. They had moved so quickly that the Hellsing troops had been unable to keep up.
It turned and hissed at them, and Xander hesitated for just a second. No insults, no witty repartee, not even a "Dude, did someone order take out?"
It was so far out of his usual experience that he just couldn't seem to process it all at once. Then it moved and he drew his gun, attempting to line up his sights and take the monster out with a well-placed bullet. It moved faster than anything he had ever seen, except for Glory the Hellbitch, and he wasn't ready for it.
It was coming right for him, and he curled up a fist, ready to smash it right into the Ghoul's ugly face, the only kind of combat he was truly familiar with. A flash of motion intercepted the ghoul and he relaxed, realising that Seras had saved his bacon. Then there was a sickening crack and his head moved to track the sound. The sight that met his one remaining eye was not a welcome one. Seras had landed awkwardly, and the ghoul had taken advantage to smack her head against the wall of the alleyway, repeatedly. Once her motion had stopped completely, it dropped her and turned its attention to the living, breathing target that now stood watching in mute rage.
The silence didn't last long.
"Hey, bloodsucker! Come over here and bite a real happy meal! C'mon!"
It moved towards him, slowly and cautiously, made so by the increased noise he was making.
He cocked the safety back on the pistol and held it in a firmer grip, then decided to shut his mouth and let the Ghoul come get some.
He stood and stared, and ugly bloke took the bait. It ran forward several steps and then leapt towards him again, expecting to have no opposition between it and dinner.
However, as the best laid plans of mice and men often go wrong, this one also encountered a snag.
Dinner had teeth of it's own.
As the Ghouls closed in, Xander raised the Browning and waited. At point blank range, just before the Ghoul could get close enough to bite, Xander pulled the trigger with impressive speed, emptying the chamber of the first round. As his entire perception narrowed to encompass only himself and the Ghoul, Xander swore he heard the next round feed from the clip into the chamber, and the slide racking. The Ghoul slowed down as the round transferred all its kinetic energy into him. The roar of the gunshot was almost deafening in the enclosed space.
"You should know, baby, my Mom told me never to kiss a guy on the first date!"
*Bang*
"And anyway, I *bang* don't *bang* swing *bang* that *bang* way!"
He hadn't quite managed to empty the entire clip of the Browning into the Ghoul's unbeating heart. But it dusted anyway, so he wasn't complaining. The dust collapsed to the ground with a speed that seemed unnatural, but Xander didn't much give a damn. He spat on the ashes of his would-be dinner host, and then ground the spittle into the remains.
"That's for hitting my friend, asshole."
He walked over to Seras, who had been dragged out of unconsciousness by a series of very loud close range gunshots near her position. The D-11 training hadn't been totally wasted on her, at any rate. A weak whisper drifted over to him.
"Your supposed to say 'in the name of God all souls of the living dead shall be banished to eternal damnation. Amen' before you take the shot."
"Not until I actually give the good word to Sir Integra."
"Did you mean it?"
"Mean what?"
"That I'm you're friend, you silly git!"
"Yeah, of course. Unless you think I don't know what words like wanker and bugger mean, 'cos then?"
She nodded, curious.
"All bets are off."
She smiled.
"Alright then. I'd like that."
"Good. I don't fly into homicidal rages for just any girl, y'know."
"Well, I'm flattered, Xander. A girl could search for a decent man for eternity, and here one just falls into my lap."
He gave a lopsided grin that she hadn't seen before. She idly hoped to see more of it.
"I haven't been in your lap yet, Vicky, but if you play your cards right..."
"Vicky?"
He shrugged.
"It seems to fit."
"I don't mind. No-one's ever called me that before, anyway."
"Let it never be said that the Xan-man is unoriginal."
She broke out laughing.
"Hah, ha ha ha, ha ha hah! Xan-man? What kind of a name is that?"
He pouted, not making a very good job of it.
"It was appropriate when I was younger, and it just kinda stuck, okay?"
"Alright, gimme a hand up an' we'll go find the rest of the unit."
He leaned forward and accidentally got an eyeful of what lay under her uniform's skirt.
Suddenly Xander was having thoughts of a nature decidedly not in friendship territory.
He averted his eye, and offered his hand.
Seras took it, and levered herself up onto her feet.
"Thanks, darlin'."
Again, the cockney accent was back, and Xander felt something he was finding more difficult to ignore tingling in his stomach.
'Come on Harris, for goodness sake, you haven't even known the girl 24 hours!'
He was tempted to grab a tree branch and give himself a damned good thrashing, but there were no branches in the vicinity, and it would have made him look really stupid in front of Seras. Perhaps she would think he was a masochist. Xander Harris was many things, but that did not number among them.
As they walked back, something was obviously on his companions mind.
She finally found a way to voice her question, and Xander gave her his full attention.
"Do you mind me bein' a...y'know, Vampire?"
He sighed and rubbed his face, obviously unnerved by the question.
"If you'd asked me that a couple years back, I would've had big problems with it. And when it comes to evil Demons possessing murdered corpses, then yeah, I still have problems. But you...you're still you. You're a very different kettle of fish. No mass-murder, no rape, no torture. You're a bona fide good vamp."
She smiled at his answer, and at his use of an English phrase.
They walked on in pleasant silence.
When they reached the armoured transport, Integra and Alucard were waiting.
"Well, Mr. Harris? What do you think?"
"I think I'm definitely interested in helping you guys out."
Integra nodded.
"I'll see you back at the manor, then. It's good to have you with us."
Xander looked at the clock. That was another 45 minutes gone, and still no Seras.
His trip down memory lane was all finished for the minute, and he was left with the dilemma he had been wrestling with.
Now he was torn between two courses of action - devote everything to Hellsing, or continue the Watcher Training?
There was a third option, but it depended on both groups being willing to share him. And that wasn't likely.
Buffy and Willow would cast the deciding vote, he knew. But then, they always had. If they were OK with the whole thing, from Seras to the Hellsing membership, he would stay with them.
But if they even so much as sent funny looks Vicky's way, he'd be in Sir Integra's little army faster than they could blink.
The door creaked as a very tired Seras walked in and fumbled he way toward the bed.
"'Ello Luv. 'm surpr'sed you're still 'ere. Thought you'd 'ave cleared orf to bed long since."
She was bordering on indecipherable, as she did when tired. She seemed to slip into the familiar twang whenever she was feeling anything particularly strongly. Very tired, very angry, very aroused.
He clamped down on that thought viciously. No need to tempt fate. Or Seras, come to think of it. Anyway, he was far too tired to give a good account of himself tonight. Even sack-Vikings need rest.
"Have I ever told you how impressive I find it for a woman to claw her way out of the gutter as you obviously have, Vicky?"
She gave him a bright smile, which didn't go very well with her half-closed red eyes, but he was more than satisfied with the results of his observation.
She crawled into the bed and got comfortable, before responding.
"I f'get how obs'vnt you c'n be. Would 'a made a damn fine copper, luv."
He was pole-axed. No one had ever said he would make a good anything before. Was it any wonder he loved this girl?
"Thanks, Vic. You make me all tingly."
'Oh Shit! Shit! Shit! Stupid Xander! Damn it, you must be really tired to let that one past your lips!'
After a few moments of sheer, utter panic, he figured it was time to knock his brain back into gear.
He looked over, hesitantly, to try and see what her reaction was. There was none. She had fallen asleep.
He sighed with relief.
"Thank you God, I really owe you one, man."
Then he stood shakily on legs that had sat still too long and made his way toward Seras' bed. He pulled her covers over her and kissed her on the forehead, before pressing the 'close' button on her four-poster coffin.
Then he slowly made his way out of her room, switching off the light as he went, tracing his path to the guest room that Sir Integra had graciously provided for him. Well, Walter had done it, but the orders had obviously come from the top.
Anyway, he had plans for tomorrow. Plans that involved a definite date-like endeavour with Seras, and a visit to the Scooby Manse. A change was coming, and Xander Harris was gonna make it a good one.