I started whistling as I went pass the Welcome to Sunnydale. "So long Sunnyhell." I thought gleefully.
Hi, the name is Xander, Xander Harris.
That's not my full name and if you want to know it, too bad.
I should be feeling bad about leaving my friends to defend the world, but I figure I have done enough and I deserve a vacation.
Besides Buffy and Willow are going to college, that will keep them occupied. Oz, hell, no one knows where he is. Cordy and Deadboy are going to Los Angelus (did I get that right? Or was it Los something else. Sorry I didn't watch much of Buffy or Angel.) Giles, well Giles is Giles, he has his books.
Every one has someplace to go and something to do, but not me. For those who know me and what I do are probably thinking, "What the hell are you talking about, you're friends with the Slayer, go kill some demons."
Yes, I am friends with the Slayer, yes I should be killing demons, well, I don't do the actual killing of the demon, but I do help out in it. Besides things have slow down since we blew up the mayor and the school. Buffy can take care of everything.
Now for the people who know jack about me. As I mention before my name is Xander Harris, full name, Alexander LaVelle Harris, I know I said I wasn't going to tell you, but I changed my mind, Aren't I a nice guy.
Well back to me and my crazy world. It was always "crazy" even when it was normal. I went to school, had friends, didn't do my homework and so on.
Than I met Buffy. Turns out she's some kind of savior of mankind.
Not like Jesus Christ. She doesn't go around saving people's souls and banishing demons. She saves people and kill demons.
She is the Vampire Slayer, one girl chosen every generation to fight off the evil forces or something like that, I never listen to Giles anyway. She seems to have this problem about a certain vampire, she doesn't slay him, she screws him.
That was the most screw up relationship I have ever seen and I went out with a mummy.
After I met Buffy, I had to save the world twice a week. After a while it kind of got into a kind of a routine.
Have a normal day, than bad guy comes along with a plan to take over/destroy the world, we research, than we kill the bad guy and wait for the next bad guy to come along.
So back to my road trip, I'm out of Sunnydale and on my way to… hmm, lets see, I have no clue where I'm going. Oh well, this just makes things more interesting.
I finally found a gas station, I had just used up the last of the emergency gas and was starting to worry. I went out and fill up the tank. Suddenly my spidey sense started tingling.
Living on the Hellmouth for almost all my life and hanging out with Buffy has help me develop a sixth sense for danger aka "things I should run away from".
At that moment, I really, really want to get into my car and drive away as fast as I can, but this annoying voice in my head yell at me to stay and see what was wrong.
I call him my conscience, one of these days I should get some duct tape and tape his mouth close so I can do the smart thing instead of the right thing.
My hand immediately went into my jacket where I kept my stake and took it out. I glance around quickly got into my van, took out a bottle of holy water and took a deep breath.
Time for battle. Most likely the danger would be in the station, where there is fresh blood for vampires. I walk up to the station and open the door.
I glance inside and I saw selves of food. I went in and took another look. This time I saw a the clerk and some other guy in a hat.
I didn't see any cars out and I was pretty sure there was a town anywhere near walking distance around here I'm not sure if he is a vampire, I'm not as good at looking out for vamps as Buffy.
A plan began to form in my mind. I walk up to the counter all casual looking like this was something I did everyday. I had the bottle of holy water in my hand, so when I got up to him, I "accidentally" spill the water on him.
I waited for him to burn/smoke/sizzle.
Still waiting.
Waiting some more.
Nothing happen. Guess he's not a demon. Oops, my bad.
"Stupid little punk, you could at least apologize." The man is the hat growled as he wipe he self using the paper towel the clerk handed him.
"Sorry, so sorry, it was an accident." I quickly replied.
The clerk and the man glare at me. So I made a mistake who cares, at least the guy didn't make a big deal out of it.
He grunted at me. I paid for the gas and started walking around the store like I was going to buy something.
The sense of danger was still in the air. I wasn't going anywhere until I find out what it is. The man is the hat just stood by the counter glowering at me from time to time. The clerk just glare at both of us.
Suddenly the man in the hat took out a gun and pointed at the clerk! "Screw this, I'm not waiting for the kid to leave, just and over the money and no one gets hurt.
I stood there with my mouth open looking like an idiot. It was a guy with a gun. I'm so use to dealing with the supernatural that I forgot that there was dangers that didn't come in the form of demons and vamps.
To make things short; Man in the hat got the money and BANG! He shot him!! Oh my god !! He shot him. He quickly turn around and point the gun at me. " Is that your van out there?!" He growled. I nodded, too scared to replied.
I wanted to kick myself. Here was me, Xander Harris, the guy who has fought off vamps, demons, werewolves and a lot of other things that make Freddy Krueger look like Barney and I was scared of a normal human being, a mortal, nothing more. I just wanted to cried right there right then.
"Sorry kid, if you had just left, you wouldn't have to die." He smirk. "Sucks to be you doesn't it?"
BANG!!
I felt a sharp intense pain in my chest. After a few moments the pain start fading away, I was dimly aware of falling down and see the man run out the station.
I was getting tired, so tired, I just want to got to bed.
Before we start let me tell you a little about myself I'm an Asian teenager about sixteen years old, I'm five foot six and oh yeah, my name is Bill Lee, but you can call me Bill.
I was looking for my friends. They were suppose to meet up with me at the festival. It was the festival my town had every year. There were booths everywhere.
I looked around and saw a fortune telling booth, since I had time to spare and I was bored I went up to it.
I went up to the booth and was suddenly knock over from behind. I felt some lift me up a felt something metallic and cold push against my head. I realized it what it was immediately, a gun. "Oh man, this is not cool, I'm too young to die." I muttered.
A crowd had gather and some people cried out "POLICE". "Hey, shut up" the guy with the guy screamed. "Shut up! or I'll blow this kids brains out."
A police officer appear right out of the crowd and yell at the man. "Let the boy go, and we'll go easy on you!"
"Let me go, oh wow, great plan, Einstein, like he's going to listen to you." I thought. The cop look pretty young and nervous, most be a newbie. I observed with the part of my brain that wasn't panicking.
"Hell no, your going to move out of the way so I get the fuck away." The man yelled back.
"I'm afraid I can't do that, now let the boy go." The cop yelled back, his voice cracking up.
"Don't make me do this to prove I'm serious."
"The man was panicking, good, if he's panicking, that means he might give up." I think.
"Sir, put down the gun and let the boy go. Do it now, I don't want to repeat myself.'
"You force me into this, all you had to do was let me go, but you didn't. It is all your fault!" He pull the trigger.
I felt a moment of intense pain, my vision went black and every part of my body went numb, but it faded quickly.
Than I was floating on a cloud feeling safe and warm. Than it change quickly, the cloud disappear and I was suddenly in a white room. A pure white room.
It was really creepy. Almost like those movies, where the guy dies and somehow ends in up in a white room with doctors coming in to interrogate him. The only thing different was that this was real.
Suddenly a door appear out of thin air. In came a man is a black suit.
He looked at me with his eyes and I know this sounds corny, but it felt like his eyes look through my soul.
He open his mouth and spoke. "Hello, Bill"
"Umm… Hi?"
"Don't worry, you are not being judge… yet.
"Whoa, how did he know what I was thinking?" I thought
"No offense or anything, but where the hell am I and who the hell are you?"
He replied, "You are in Limbo, the place between life and death. I am called many things by your people. You commonly know me as Lucifer Morningstar, the Lightbringer, the Devil, Satan, and I believe you also call me the Beast."
"Holy shit, you're the ultimate evil! The big bad! Wait, I don't wanna go to Hell, please God, give me another chance!" I panicked.
Lucifer look at me and sigh, "That's why I am here, to give you a second chance. God has forgiven me for my sins along time ago and I have redeem my self, you mortals refuse to accept that fact, so it was never written down."
I slowly calm down, the thought of burning in hell for all eternity did not sound like something I would like to do. "So I get another chance, why? not that I'm complaining or anything."
"Someone is about to die." Lucifer said.
"Okay, I don't see why you upper level beings should be bother by this, I mean people die every day, why is this person so important?"
"I am sorry, but I cannot tell you. You will have to find that out for yourself." Lucifer replied. "Oh here he comes now."
POP!!!
A man dress in the most mismatched clothes I ever seen appear!!
I stared.
He stared back.
I stared back.
He stared back.
It took me a few moments to recognize him, it was the guy who plays Xander Harris on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
He spoke up before I did, "Okaaay. This weird. Oh! Wait a minute, what the hell am I saying, this is normal by Hellmouth standards. Ok, introductions first. The name's Harris, Xander Harris."
I stared at him some more. Xander Harris?!
I looked backed at Lucifer.
He smiled and said. "Yes, Bill, Xander Harris from Buffy the Vampire Slayer."
Okay now, I may not be Einstein, but I do read fanfiction. I read stories from Journeyverse and the XanderZone.
Right away I got a basic idea of what was going to happen.
"Oh crap, he's a Champion, isn't he? That's why he's important."
"That's right, and guess what, you're a Champion too." Lucifer beamed.
That set me back a little, but keep in mind that I read fanfiction, and one of my favorite types fanfiction is self insertion.
"Fuck, is he and I going to be brought back to life in his universe to battle the forces of evil or something? I gotta admit, that would be cool, but man, that is so predictable."
"Close, but no. I can't really tell you anything at all, you have to discover what will happen by your selves."
Xander, all this time was looking at us with a confused look on his face.
"What the hell is going on here? This is starting to freak me out." Xander asked.
I quickly explain everything I knew to him. He doesn't believe me until I got Lucifer to pull several books from my world on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
He got used to Lucifer being the good guy pretty quick, as a matter of fact, so did I. I guess we both adapt to different situations pretty fast.
Xander and I quickly got into a discussion about Star Wars. He thinks Han Solo can beat Luke Skywalker in a fight. He came up with some pretty good arguments, but they were pretty weak.
Lucifer quickly tells us to basically shut up and listen to him.
Xander and I looked at him.
He looks at us for a full minute and out of the blue said. "Use the Force"
Suddenly I was falling along with Xander, I have no idea how long we fill, but sometime during the fall, I was knock out.
I woke up the after I felt my body hit the ground.
"Uhhhh…"
"Damm that hurt like hell." I mutter.
I appear to have landed in a desert area. There was sand in every direction.
Immediately I notice something different, the ground look further away than usual. That was probably normal after a fall like that. I didn't worry about it too much.
Xander was also nowhere in sight.
"Uhhhh… where am I?" Xander mumbled.
"Xander.' I screamed. I was relieved to find him here too, I would have gone crazy without anyone to talk to.
Than I stop, Xander was nowhere insight, and I hadn't "heard" him say it. "Oh crap." I thought as I realize what had happen. Xander by this time had woken up completely.
We discover several things.
1. We are in the middle of nowhere. 2. I'm not there, well, not there physically, I was a voice inside Xander's head. 3. We're screw.
I was in Xander's body and I wasn't alone. He was there with me. This was cool in a sense that this was real, but also freaky that I don't have a body any more.
I explain self insertion to Xander. Turns out, he had read a couple of them on the web.
Next we tried to figure out where we were.
"Use the Force"
That was what Lucifer had said before we fell a couple gazillion miles down somewhere.
Star Wars.
We were in the world of Star Wars. When in Star Wars? We don't know.
Xander and I quickly got used to the idea, I got used to it faster due to reading mass quantities of fanfiction.
We randomly pick a direction and started walking towards it.
Hopefully we'll find some water before we die.