Xander Harris walked into his room with the air of a man who was dead on his feet. He was still breathing, and his heart was still beating, so it wasn't the case that he was literally dead on his feet.
He raised his weary head, his eyes scanning the room.
"Vicky? You here?"
No answer was given.
"Victoria?"
This time there was the rustling of sheets, and an unhappy mumbling from the bed in the corner of the room.
The blonde in the bed sat up and rubbed here eyes, her mouth opened wide in an enormous yawn.
As Xander observed with his remaining eye, the thought struck him that he had never seen a more adorable sight in all of his two decades. Xander had to consciously stop himself from going over there and giving her an enormous hug. And a squeeze. Maybe callin' her George would be going to far. No, she'd probably call him a 'poof' and slug him in the jaw.
"Huh…wot? Wot is it?"
Her English accent was sometimes a little difficult to decipher, even for the experienced ear that had heard Rupert Giles and Spike in various levels of intoxication.
"I was just checking if you were here. There was some kinda incident over at Piccadilly Circus."
"Well, i's obviously not sumfink that the boss needs me for, or I'd be there."
A thoughtful expression came over her face.
"Wonder if Master got called in?"
This time there was no force on earth that could hold him back from hugging her. The only thing cuter than Sleepy-Vicky was Thoughtful-Vicky.
She hugged him back, if a little confusedly.
"What's all this in aid of, then?"
"Just getting my daily recommended allowance of Victoria huggage."
She giggled, and Xander had to amend his earlier thought. Giggly-Vicky is cuter than any other variety. Accept no substitutes. He let go, pulled back a hairsbreadth, and observed her.
It took her a few moments to calm down, but she noticed his attention soon afterward.
"Wot? Wotcha' starin' at?"
He shrugged eloquently.
"Just you."
She smiled. She was, admittedly, a little new to this relationship thing, but Xander made it all seem so easy.
Of course, the fact that he wasn't scared of her like 90% of all the other humans she knew was probably something to do with what had drawn her to him in the first place.
Even just now, when he had hugged her, there had been no nervousness, and she had been unable to detect any fear in his scent. He really didn't seem to mind that she could break him in half if she got too enthusiastic.
She shuddered, closing her eyes to try and banish those thoughts. There was a mental image that she could do without.
Xander, noting that her thoughts were obviously becoming distressing, put a finger under her chin and gently pulled her head in his direction.
"Don't worry about it."
Her eyes widened. Was he a mind reader?
"W-worry about, uh…what?"
He gave a lop-sided grin that made him go from dark and handsome to goofy and gorgeous.
"Whatever it is that you're worrying about."
Her hands came up to his cheeks, and her head slowly moved forward. Just as she came within kissing distance, she stopped moving. Then she spoke.
"Okay."
Xander shivered at the sensation of her breath upon his lips, and moved forward to kiss her. Her inhuman strength held his head immobile, however, so he stopped almost as soon as he had begun.
She smiled and nodded, seeing that he had caught on. Given their physical proximity, her movement had interesting effects on her generous chest, which in turn rubbed against Xander and had interesting effects on certain areas of his anatomy.
Vicky blushed and ducked her head. Then she squeaked as she got a close up view of the excitement she had accidentally caused.
She looked off to the side, her spiky blonde hair obscuring much of her hair, except the almost-crimson cheeks.
"Eep!"
Xander laughed. The mood had been broken, and he had to admit that he was glad for it. He had only been involved with Victoria for a month, and he was determined to take things as slowly as possible. Both because she was inexperienced, and because he had only recently gotten over the grief left by Anya's passing.
He moved her head back around to him and smoothed her bangs out to the side. Her blood red eyes looked at him with equal amounts of trepidation and excitement, and her tongue was licking her lips, wetting them. One fang peeked out over her tongue, and Xander felt a little shiver run down his spine.
"I've got to go back to the Watcher Training classes in two days time."
Her eyes narrowed, and she smirked.
"Hmm. However will we pass the time?"
The wink she gave him was more than enough for even Xander to get the hint.
He froze, like a rabbit in the headlights of a car.
'That's pretty wildly out of the norm for Vicky. What the heck is goin' on here?'
The young American had forgotten, for just a second, that he was dealing with a Predator. And this Predator was perfectly able to sense the non-visual cues of his excited state. The air was almost vibrating with his pheromones, and she could tell.
This state of affairs was activating primitive instincts that governed mating, rather than the usual instincts exhibited by the peculiar type of Vampire whose bed he was sitting on. She was only doing what came naturally to her kind, he surmised.
Now, how to rebuff her advances without being broken into itty-bitty non-Xander shaped pieces?
Victoria pinned him to the bed in the meantime and was running her hands all over his body, taking advantage of his distraction.
"Vicky, this is verging on naughty touching!"
Then her hand travelled downward, and it stepped right into naughty territory.
She purred in his ear.
"I know. Now, lay back and we'll see about you staking me good and proper."
Her normally light voice had become low and husky, and her cockney accent was more pronounced now than ever.
He whimpered in a mixture of surrender and arousal, causing her to smile a toothy grin that exposed all of her fangs. She had never looked so much like her Master. Stick a pair of John Lennon style glasses on her, and Voila!
Xander was saved and damned by the knocking on the door to Vicky's room. She reluctantly let go of her prey and stalked to the door. When she opened it, she was shocked right out of her 'Predator' mindset.
"W-Walter?"
"Miss. Seras. We have a Freak sighting in Piccadilly. Sir Integra wants you there yesterday."
She looked back at the man on her bed and shot him an apologetic look and went to put on he uniform. As Walter was leaving, Xander would have sworn that the Butler shot the younger man a wink. That monocle made it a little hard to tell, right enough.
Victoria came out dressed in her blue uniform, grey stockings and dark boots, her brown belt at her waist and her white gloves in the process of being pulled on. It really made her figure apparent. Especially around the chest.
"Mm-mm. Nothing quite like a girl in uniform, Vic."
She blushed again, and Xander felt a strange mixture of relief and disappointment at the return to normalcy. Predator-Vicky had been kind of neat.
"I'm sorry to cut this short, luv, but I gotta get moving."
Xander nodded. He respected the Hellsing Organisation's devotion to killing evil stuff. He recited the motto.
"In the name of God, the impure souls of the living dead shall be banished into eternal damnation. Amen."
She smiled and gave him a victory sign with her right hand, before rushing out of the room.
Xander sighed.
"Why do I always gotta fall for the inhuman chicks?"
Then he remembered the sensations that the extremely naughty version of Seras Victoria had stirred in him, and chuckled.
"Oh yeah, that's why."
Buffy and Willow were going to be most displeased with this latest romantic entanglement. Well, if they were gonna get bent out of shape about it, then fine. Hellsing was looking for talented humans who were willing to fight the various freaks and undead of Old London Town.
Maybe they would like a veteran of a Hellmouth, and a survivor of seven years active fighting of the various types of big nasty things that inhabited the night, working for them. He wasn't as strong as Seras or Alucard, and he could barely hold up against the formidable Walter, but he was getting there.
And then anyone who tried to hurt his girl would die painfully and slowly. Without exception.
After all, the orders were still the same after a century. Search and Destroy.
Walter and Alucard were sitting at a smoky table in the bar near the Hellsing manor. Something that the physically older man had said to his Vampiric counterpart had the No Life King crying with laughter.
"Oh, Walter, that can't be true!"
"I assure you, old boy, it is. I saw it with my own two eyes. The Harris lad was sprawled all over the bed, his eye wide, his cheeks flushed, gasping for air. Seras opened the door with a face like thunder, and I thought for a second she would swing for me."
The Vampire was giggling insanely, in a most undignified position where he had fallen off his chair
"Bwah hah ha ha ha ha haah!"
He stood, still giggling, and brushed off his long red coat, before taking his seat.
"Well, old friend, it seems my little girl is finally about to become a woman. My servant finally found herself a concubine. I'm so proud!"
Alucard pretended to wipe away a tear.
They both managed to keep straight faces for thirty seconds, before breaking out in uproarious laughter.
Okay, it's a Hellsing crossover. I saw the series this weekend, and I enjoyed it a heckuva lot.
I half suspect that Seras Victoria is a translation mistake, and that it should be Victoria Seras, but given that every one else had their names done in the right way (Integra Wingates Hellsing, Walter C. Dorneaz, Peter Ferguson etc), I really ought to just stop nitpicking. ;)