Slayage in Vegas

Author: Lizbeth Marcs <vblackheart[at]>

Rating: PG (at best)

Characters: Xander, Faith

Spoilers: Nothing specific, BtVS Post-S7

Genre: Humor

Opening line from: Callmesandy

( userscallmesandy/)

Hey All.

Right now there is an on-going challenge on LiveJournal for people to take the first lines of someone's fic and turn it into a drabble or a very short character piece.

I thought I'd post this one here because I kind of like it. It's so ridiculous and over the top....

Anyway, just a quick public announcement before we go on with the story: Don't forget to vote in the Walk With Heroes Awards ( where voting is open until October 15 and the White Knight Awards ( where voting is open until October 11.

There are an awful lot of good authors up for consideration in both awards that aren't necessarily on the XanderZone whose stories are well worth reading. Plus, both Web Mistresses (waves to Mara!) have put a lot of time and effort into it, so show your support.

Oh, on with the story:

A case of arson of a blackjack table happens right in front of a celebrity crowd.

What Xander would like to do is hide out of sheer embarassment.

What he has to do is run over Mel Gibson, kick Sylvester Stallone in the nuts, karate chop Vin Diesel, and judo flip Steven Seagal.

The things he does for this job.

While the action stars scream like little girls and run away from the carnage (so much for these jokers doing their own stunts, he figures), Xander fights his way through the crowd to grab Faith by the arm.

"What do you think you're doing?" he hisses as he tugs her away.

"Calm down, will ya Cyclops? Just doing my duty."

"You set a blackjack table on fire! We are so banned from Vegas."

"That's if they don't arrest us first."

"Thank you so much for that cheerful thought," Xander complains as he yanks her off balance and tries desperately to blend with the others.

No such luck. They're probably the only not-famous faces in the whole damn casino.

It's a matter of time before the security guards get them because there's a good shot Faith's spectacular pre-emptive Slay was caught on tape.

Subtlety is not one of Faith's strong points.

It doesn't help that in his experience willing blindness only extends to to demons. Not so much when it comes to Slayers armed with a Zippo and not afraid to use it.

"Hey! Over here! You two! I got your back!"

Xander scans the crowd and sees--*Holy shit! You gotta be kidding me! *--Brendon Fraser wildly waving his arms to get their attention.

He doesn't look in the least bit weirded out, which is strange.

But that's pretty much all Xander needs. If it's a trap, he's pretty sure he could take the guy. He's just a wuss actor and any port in a storm...

Faith clears the way with some elbow action. So far, so good. Everyone's so freaked that they don't realize that the chick in the leather dress and her tuxedo-wearing pal are in any way involved with the bonfire.

Crap. It really is a bonfire. It's spread to another blackjack table.

Stupid flammable demons.

They finally get to their unexpected Good Samaratain. He opens a stairwell door and follows them through, slamming the door shut behind them.

"Don't tell me," Brendon says. "A G'lugguh demon? Those guys a bad news. Thanks for offing him."

"How the fuck do you know about…" Faith begins.

"Run now. Ask questions later," Xander argues.

Celebrity dude leads them down the stairs. "This will take us to the underground garage. We'll ditch security there and then I'll hide you in the trunk of my car and get you out of here," he explains.

"How do you know about demons?" Faith isn't letting go.

"Found out about them when I did research for 'Monkey Bone'."

"You found out about demons while doing research for a movie?" Xander asks. He can't believe he heard right.

"Yeah. Now I sleep with a baseball bat under the bed and garlic around my neck."

"Hunh. Gonna have to watch that flick now," Faith remarks.

The End