Xander was sitting on the stairs of school.
He knew that he should be in class, but the sunlight was too beautiful to ignore.
Anybody that passed Xander today would have been surprised. It was not just the dark brown shirt and dark trousers he was wearing. It was the quietness and competitive way he was sitting.
It could only be described as serene.
Xander looked around, and seeing nobody close enough opened the huge bass case next to him.
Inside instead of a musical instrument there was an axe.
The lights reflected of the blades, and danced of them, making it seem as if the blades itself were giving of light.
Xander though did not turn from the light rather he looked at them unflinching.
His hand slowly touched the blades over markings.
Xander knew that these markings were a phrase.
SNAGA the blades of no return.
Xander walked in the library.
Buffy, Willow, Glies and Cordelia were already there when Xander walked in.
'What's with the case dweeb boy. Finally decided to live in a portable home' Cordelia snarkily commented.
Xander merely stared at Cordelia.
Cordelia found herself looking at two chocolate eyes that were calm and very powerful.
For the first time in a long time Cordelia fell silent.
Xander walked inside the library holding the bass case in his right hand as though it weighed very little. Buffy noticed this and also noticed that Xander had not replied to Cordelia's comment. The fact that he was wearing clothes that were definitely unXander was just another reason which caused her to tense.
'Relax Buffy, its me' Xander stated while sitting in a chair.
'Does anybody know of the costume I wore yesterday' Xander continued as if there was no tension in the room.
'No' Willow replied
Willow then found Xander's eyes staring at her and she started to ramble 'You told us that it was somebody named Druss and that you would tell us who he was, then you went in your own group we didn't see you all night but we did phone your home afterwards actually I did, and told you what happened, and you said you were fine we were so lucky that the boys err monsters attacked Spike and his vampires or we...'
Giles interrupted Willows rambling 'Are you still yourself Xander'
Xander found himself being stared at by all four individuals. He looked at the table and sighed.
Xander then stared at Giles 'I've been thinking about that a lot... Imagine clear water and black ink. That's the closest way I can describe it. I am still me. But I was Druss. It's changed me'
Willow seemed afraid 'We can change you back. Tell him we can change him back Giles'
Xander got up. The case still not leaving his hand. And spoke with a harsh authority 'No'
Xander started pacing.
'Druss was character of a book I read, from this guy called David Gemmell. The books name was Legend'
Xander stopped, and looked at the floor. His voice changing from authority to sorry, as did his posture. 'My father beat me- A lot. My mother is a drunk. I hated my life- myself.'
Everybody looked at Xander.
Buffy, Giles were shocked. Willow thinking to herself how was this possible, she should have known.
Cordelia felt stricken, she wanted to go to Xander and hold him. The feelings she felt for him scared her.
'I read this book about this old guy. All his life he fought battles and although he knew that there were people faster than him, stronger than him, smarter than him. He believed, truly believed nobody could beat him.'
Xander spoke in lower voice. 'I liked that confidence- liked it a lot. '
'But the thing that I liked more than his confidence and his will to win, was the code' Xander stared at them all and continued 'When my father attacked me yesterday I beat him back. Afterwords I... I... I promised myself I would live by the code'
Suddenly Xander spoke quickly, as if he had to say the words now before changing his mind 'I'm leaving the group.'
'What!' all four individuals shouted.
'I need to- to be alone for awhile' Xander said
Giles spoke with caring 'Xander perhaps it would be best if we ensured that all remnants of this Druss character was relinquished from your psyche'
Xander walked up towards Giles, and growled the words 'You won't do that. You owe me Giles, and I'm calling in my debt. You. Will. Not. Do. That'
Giles was disturbed by Xander's chocolate brown eyes which now seemed as fog covered ice. Xander was very dangerous validating his analysis despite what Xander thought this 'Druss' character must be eliminated. Giles not wanting Xander to read his analysis spoke
'What are you referring to Xander?'
Xander looked at Giles 'How long have we fought against vampires and demons'
Giles pondered that question 'Well I should have the exact date...' Xander interrupted him 'It doesn't matter. What matters is that a vampire is at LEAST four times stronger and faster than the average ADULT. What matters is that almost every night I go and fight vampires and demons. What matters is that you have not BOTHERED to train me- You owe me. And I'm collecting'
Giles wanted to say something, anything. But Xander's words had knocked all the wind out of him.
'Oh Lord' he gasped. Why hadn't he done something?
Buffy stalked towards Xander and placed her finger on his chest 'You can't talk to Giles like OOWW'
Xander had grabbed Buffy's finger and broken it. And then suddenly within a flash of her eyes Xander had leapt aside and the case he was holding was discarded on the floor.
Xander stood in the middle of the room, with a dangerous gleam in his eyes. An aura surrounding him which screamed 'danger'. He also held a huge, deadly axe.
Xander looked at Buffy. The words slow, steady, hinted with madness. 'This is Snaga- the blades of no return. Don't make me use it on you Slayer'
Cordelia spoke quietly 'Xander'
Xander looked at Cordelia. As if realizing what he had almost done Xander backed away. Xander then with a fluidity of a panther walked towards the discarded case laying down Snaga. Xander then walked towards the doorway of the library.
Minutes passed as Xander had walked out of the door. But no one had said a word. Each member of the Scooby's reeling from the loss. And though none of them would ever know, each though at the same time 'What now'