"So, Buffy", started Giles, as the Blonde Slayer walked into the Magic Box "how was patrol last night?"
"It was dead, Giles, no pun intended", Buffy replied, moving towards the training room "Not one single vamp rose last night, and I know that at least Two of the girls buried Yesterday were turned".
"Maybe you were mistaken", the Sandy haired watcher offered.
Buffy shook her head "Not about these. Both drained, both had blood in their mouths, and the one vamp I killed last night was waiting for them to rise as well. It's weird, we haven't had a single vamp rise in a cemetery in a week and a half!"
"Well that's a coincidence." Giles states, turning away from his Slayer so she couldn't see his face.
"What do you mean, Giles? What coincidence? And why aren't you looking at me?" Buffy suddenly gets suspicious "What do you know, Giles?"
Deciding to put Buffy out of her misery, Giles turns back to Buffy "First things first, Buffy. Do you know what Xander has been doing with himself recently?"
"Just slobbing around at home, isn't he. What's that got to do with the lack of vampires?"
"Everything, actually, Buffy. You see, Xander recently got himself a job working with the mortuary, and helping the Medical Examiner move bodies and equipment"
Buffy was getting annoyed, but this news was good "That's great Giles, now he can get out of the rat-hole he's living in and away from his parents. But what's that got to do with the lack of vampires?"
"First of all, Buffy, Xander got this Job just over a week and a half ago, right before you started noticing the lack of undead opponents." Giles answered, "Second, Xander hasn't told me exactly what he was doing, but he did say to watch out for this happening. I suggest, if you want to know what he has done, that you ask him when he comes in later."
"I will, you can count on that" Buffy huffed, annoyed.
"The Xandman cometh, and he brings Donuts" was the exclamation from the tall, dark-haired youth as he burst into the magic box, trailing a laughing redhead.
"Hello Xander, did you get me my Jellies" was the answer from Giles, getting the important things out of the way before Mt Saint Buffy erupted.
Buffy had been getting more and more annoyed with having to wait for Xander, and was currently in the back room destroying the punching bag Xander had put up a month ago. Hearing Xander enter, Buffy rushed to the front of the shop, and straight up to the laughing teen.
"Okay Xander, what have you done now?" was the greeting Xander got from the Blonde bombshell.
"And hello to you too, Buffy. What are you talking about, I only went to get donuts?" Xander replied, confused.
"What have you been doing with the vampires?" Buffy ground out "Giles says you're the reason none of the vampires have risen recently, and I want to know why?"
"Woah, Buffy, calm down." Turning to Giles, Xander asks excitedly "Is it true, no vampires rising that have been buried?"
"Yes it is, Xander, and we are all interested in what you have been doing to cause this"
Willow has been looking back and forth between Giles and Buffy. Turning to Xander, she comented "You didn't tell either of them what you were doing, did you."
Looking down at the redheaded Wicca beside him, Xander seemed to shrink "Well, I didn't want to say anything in case it didn't work. I only told Giles to look out for vampires to stop rising. I didn't want anyone to think I was stupid if it didn't work"
"So why tell me?" Willow asked, confused.
"I needed to see if it was possible, and you already know I'm sorta stupid" Xander replied, looking at the floor.
"You're not stupid, Xander" Willow almost shouted. This was one of the few topics that could get the witch angry. "You just have to apply yourself. Now tell Buffy and Giles what you've done. You know it's worked, so tell them!"
"Yes, quite. Please Xander, what did you do?" came from Giles.
"Tell us, now" was Bufys polite contribution, before turning to Willow "And how come you didn't tell me about it, Wills?"
"It's Xanders choice. Now tell them, Xander, or I will"
"But I thought it was my choice Willow. Okay, I'll tell" Xander stated seeing the resolve face on Willow and Buffy's obvious anger.
"It started when I got a job at the mortuary. As you can guess, those guys have a high turnover, so when the owner heard I'd lived here all my life, he jumped at the chance." Xander stopped for a second to consider how to continue. "Originally, I'd planned on telling Giles that night. My idea was to find out more precisely who would be turned so we knew where to patrol. You know check for blood in the mouths and fang marks."
Giles interrupted "That is a good idea, Xander, I'm surpised we didn't think of it sooner. But that doesn't explain why the vampires aren't rising."
"They do rise Giles, but I'll get to that" Xander explained. "The first thing I had to do was replace the blood in the body with embalming fluid" Xander started, then turned to Giles "Could that be why vampires need blood when they rise, to replace the embalming fluid?"
Giles looked thoughtful "It's possibly a contributing factor, but vampires who rise without that process occurring also need blood to start with. In any case, please continue."
"Okay, well I was putting the embalming fluid into the first corpse when it hit me. Maybe we could stop vamps before they really rose. That's when I went to Willow. I wanted a brain to look at the idea and thought you, Giles, might laugh at me. Willow might say it wont work, but I knew she wouldn't laugh"
"I hope I wouldn't have laughed, but I can understand your reasoning. So what conclusions did the Two of you arrive at?"
"And why didn't you tell me?" Buffy cried out. Couldn't they trust me not to laugh at Xanders idea?
"Actually, Buffy" the reply came from Willow, surprisingly "that was my idea. Not that we didn't trust you, but we wanted it to be a surprise. Surprise."
Buffy replied "But what is the surprise. What did you do?"
"Oops, oh yeah, we haven't explained that yet, have we?" Two shaking heads answered her "Okay Xand, it's your story."
"Thankyou, oh wondrous sorceress" Xander replies, receiving a raspberry in response "Anyway, I had a few ideas on how to stop vampires rising, or at least not hurting anyone. I tried putting my cross on the skin of one guy I knew would rise, but it didn't do anything, so I figured we couldn't do mush until they rose. But maybe I could leave something for when they did."
"So what did you do? How are you killing vamps after they rise and before they get out of the grave?" Buffy looked at the surprised looks on everyone's faces and defensively stated "What, I listen! Xander said they do rise, but none of the graves are disturbed, so they are dusted or stopped in their graves."
Xander continues, as the others turn back to him "Anyway, I had a few ideas, and Willow said to try each of them on a different corpse, ones we knew would rise, to see which were effective. Since Buffy hasn't seen any vamps rise, they all work. Yay, me."
"Yeah, it's great, Xander, but what did you do" Buffy wanted answers and wanted them now.
"Okay, I'll tell you. As I said, I had my idea while putting embalming fluid in the vamp. The embalming fluid is concentrated when we receive it, and is watered down for use (AN probably not true). All I did was be a little creative with what I watered it down with."
"You didn't" Giles stated, seeing where this was going.
"You're right, I didn't mix it with Worcester Sauce to make a zombie (AN I don't own South Park either)" Buffy and Willow laughed, while Giles look confused. "What I did do was mix it with Holy water. Holy water doesn't wear off, so when the vampire rises it is full of Holy water. Even diluted, it appears to dust the vamps before they rise. Bet it hurts like a bitch, too."
"Good show, Xander" comes from Giles, his Englishness shining through, with a bit of the Ripper in his smile "It's nothing more than they deserve. So what are the others?"
"The second is similar to the first. Rather than mixing the holy water with the embalming fluid, I injected it straight into their hearts. It would be destroyed when they awoke for the first time. And dusty strikes again." Xander was really getting on a roll now, especially since Buffy and Giles were looking at him with respect, something he'd always wanted from his hero and Father figure. "This one could be useful when we patrol, too. A little syringe full of holy water injected into the hearts of any bodies we find, just in case"
"That's a good idea, Xand" came from his blonde goddess, making a smile erupt on his face "It would certainly mean less vampires in the long run. But you said you had three ideas?"
"Yeah, but the third one is harder to hide" Xander mentioned, before continuing "The last option was to put a bit of wood into their hearts, but that is hard to hide. It works, though, because the two I did it to didn't rise"
"Those are all very good ideas, Xander, and could result in greatly decreasing our workload for a small investment of time and effort" Giles says, aware of the boys self-esteem problems. He really was proud. Such a simple solution to one of their biggest problems "If we don't have to wait for vampires to rise, patrols could be shorter, and less vampires now mean less deaths in the future, too. This may not stop existing vampires in Sunnydale, or new ones coming in, but your actions will make all of our jobs easier"
Xander looked like he could fly, he was so happy, and it got better as Giles continued "In fact, I will be getting in contact with the Council, at least the ones still talking to me, and report on your find. We could call it 'The Harris Procedure', to be carried out wherever possible. Your actions could potentially save lives all over the World. Congratulations."
Despite his happiness, Xander looked at the ground, blushing at the Watcher words of praise "I didn't do that much, and Willow helped a lot." now Willow, who had been laughing softly at Xanders appearance, turned red herself.
Now Buffy got into the act "Don't sell yourself short, Xander. As Willow said, you're not stupid. Willow wasn't the one to come up with the ideas, she just helped you get the confidence to try them. This way, you have a paying job, can get away from your parents, and still do a lot of damage to the undead population in this town. Not to mention letting us get an early night every once in a while. Thanks Xander. You too, Willow.
Both teens were now matching shades of red, making Giles and Buffy wonder how they were still conscious, since all their blood was in their cheeks.
Finally returning to normal, Xander turns to Buffy "Thanks, Buff. It's good to know that we help. So what now?"
"Pizza?"
"Now you're talking"
The simple things in life are best.