Somewhere I Belong

Author: Socrates <vampyr64[at]hotmail.com>

Disclaimer: The hack aka Joss Whedon, and ME own Buffy, sad to say. Everything else in this story is my own unique creation. The title is inspired by the Linkin Park song, which I found fitting to the story.

Rating: Pg-13 - R. Some parts MAY be NC-17, haven't decided yet. If that does happen the parts will be posted at BXLOVE and BXALONE, as well as my archive group.

Pairing: Will EVENTUALLY be B/X, I think. Bear with me here people, I'm rather pissed at the Buffster right now, and I have to tear her down before I can build her up to be the hero she once was. In the meantime there might be X/other, or maybe not. Various other ships will probably find their way in here, but again I haven't decided.

Summary: Takes place post season 7. Spike is dead, (yay!) Anya is dead too. The Sunnydale has been annihilated by the hell mouth, which has been closed. Buffy and the rest of the scoobies old and new find themselves in a brave new world where potential slayers the world over have been activated. They are about to find however that evil is not as easy to conquer as they believed.

Dedication; To AAALex21, who let me bounce ideas off her and hounded me to get started on this thing. Also to all BX'ers out there. We may never see BX on screen, but we'll always have fanfic. Besides, the writers here are lightyears better then Joss and his ME cronies anyways.

Latest addition


Prologue

"Are you okay?" The young girl nodded woozily at him as he helped her regain her feet, the sounds of battle raging around them. With a soft push he sent her towards the staircase and turned to see if everyone was on their way out.

"C'mon, lets go!" He turned back around, ready to make his own escape, only to be gripped by strong arms and spun to face the man in preacher garb, the man known as Caleb.

"So you're the one who sees everything aren't you?" he queried, his eyes lighting with an evil smile that matched the cold one on his lips. The hand that didn't have him in a vice grip raised slowly to his face, the thumb pointing at his eye. "Well, lets see what we can't do about that."

He tried struggling but it was a futile effort, as the moved forward slowly until the thumb touched his eyeball.

Then, he pushed. HARD.

"ARRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

*****

"Xander! Xander!"

Xander shot bolt upright in his seat, his shoulders heaving, sweat pouring from his brow. He could feel someone shaking him strongly, a voice in his ear pleaded to him. His eyes darted around frenziedly, strolling to determine where he was, what happened.

His eyes settled on the form beside him, her soft eyes wide with worry, her hand clutched his forearm. "Xander?" she repeated, more softly this time. Around him, other passengers looked on with a mixture of interest and concern.

<The Plane.> He remembered.

He gave a slight gasp as he felt something on his face. His hand reached tentatively to the left side of his face, moving slowly, afraid. His fingers touched the soft fabric, felt the plastic beneath it, and he knew.

The blonde at his sides expression changed when she saw him touch the patch, her eyes showing guilt and sorrow before she looked away, out the window.

"Sir, are you alright" He turned to face the stewardess who has been drawn to their seats by the commotion. He swallowed once, forcing himself to calm down, then nodded softly at her. "I'm sorry miss, I just sometimes have trouble sleeping."

The womans eyes landed on the dark patch he wore and she understood, her face showing sympathy. "Could I get you something?" she asked kindly.

"Some water would be nice."

She smiled at him and nodded, before moving back down the aisle.

He stared after her a second, his good eye remaining unfocused, before he sighed softly and turned to his companion.

"Buffy." he said, his voice almost without emotion. Her head slowly swiveled away from the window as she faced him, her expression sad. "Are you okay?" she asked in a small voice. He nodded at her before looking away. She looked as if she wanted to say something, her mouth opening and closing twice, before she simply sighed and turned back to face the window again.

He had been like this ever since Sunnydale, ever since....

She shuddered involuntarily, her mind replaying the events of three weeks ago in her head. The things she did, said. She was so confused. Did she mean it? And what did that make her if she did? Is that why he couldn't stand to look at her, or was it because of Anya, or maybe it was just everything that had happened. She wished to god she knew.

Shaking her head strongly she banished those thoughts from her head. They would be landing soon, and they had work to do

Her days as the slayer may be over but her journey, their journey, had just begun.

*****

Chapter 1

London, England
1230 Zulu

Buffy sat in the passengers side of the sports sedan, drumming her fingers absently on the leather armrest. They had only been in London a little over 2 hrs and already she was bored out of her mind. After their plane had touched down they had spent a good while going through customs and making sure everything was in order. It seemed the whole of the free world had beefed up security after 911.

After they had finally finished with customs they had headed over to the airport car rental and picked out a nice sedan. Then they drove to the middle of downtown London, following the directions Giles had given Xander.

Currently the sedan was parked outside a rather decrepit looking warehouse. Xander had gone inside a good 15 minutes ago to meet with someone Giles had sent them to for 'supplies', insisting that Buffy remain here. <Maybe he just doesn't want you around him> her negative side whispered.

Buffy shuddered at the thought, knowing there was at least some degree of truth to it. Things hadn't been good between her and Xander since the final battle with the FE, where Spike and Anya gave their lives to help save the world.

Ever since then he had been very short and reserved with, well everyone, but her especially. It was as if he couldn't stand to be in the same room with her. And she didn't even know what it was she had done.

Actually, that wasn't entirely true. She had some idea of what cause the current rift between them. But her pride kept her from admitting any wrongdoing.

And so they found themselves here.

The sound of the rear door on the sedan being opened startled Buffy out of her convoluted thoughts and she glanced back to see Xander loading several black duffels into the vehicle. They looked to be quite heavy and Buffy found herself wondering what was in them.

Xander loaded the last duffel before slamming the door closed and moving toward the drives side of the vehicle.

"I take it the visit was productive?' Buffy queried as he climbed into the vehicle, pulling the door closed behind him.

The former Zeppo turned and flashed a smile that was not at all pleasant. "Very."

With that, he turned the key in the ignition and pulled the sedan onto the road.

<This is going to be a LONG trip> Buffy thought tiredly as the vehicle sped toward the main road. <A very long trip.>

*****

Paris, France
The Louvre
1240 Zulu

The young girl moved quietly into the expansive setting, ignoring the sights around as if she was not in the greatest museum in the world, but rather some back alley overflowing with filth.

All around her people marveled at the works of art and sculptures that dominated the area. Some parents held their children in their arms as their little fingers pointed at some particularly interesting painting. Others watched with joy as their sons or daughters stared spellbound at the masterful sculptures. All around the sounds of happiness and joy echoed through the halls.

<Sickening> the young girl thought, a disgusted sneer settling in her face. <Utterly revolting>

(Patience,) a voice chided her softly, (The time is almost here, and then the cleansing can begin.)

<Good> The girl thought, a cruel mockery of a smile playing across her lips.

<Soon>

*****

Somewhere outside London
1520 Zulu

<Well this has been a fine waste of time> Buffy Summers thought dejectedly as the sedan sped along the back roads. All around them the picturesque England countryside lay. But Buffy couldn't bring herself to enjoy any of it.

It had been nearly three hrs since they had left the warehouse attempting to track down the 4 newly activated slayers that Willow had sensed in England. In that time they had succeeded in nothing more then learning how inhospitable some Englanders could be at sudden, unexpected visits from strangers. They hadn't so much as been able to make contact with any of the slayers. But they did learn that one had been arrested for assaulting a fellow student and another had apparently up and run away from home The third they had no idea about, only that they couldn't find them.

Now they were heading to the 'hopeful' location of the final slayer. And Buffy didn't have any better feelings about this one then she did with the other three. Something was wrong here, but she couldn't place her finger on it. It was annoying her.

That and the fact that Xander was pointedly avoiding speaking with her, answering any questions with single syllable words or simply grunts.

After 2 hrs of this it was getting to be too much and Finally Buffy decided to do something about it.

"What is your problem?" she turned and regarded her friends quizzically.

Xander ignored her at first, probably hoping she would drop the subject. But when he saw that she wasn't budging, he glanced over at her. "What do you mean?" he deadpanned.

"You known damn well what I mean!" Buffy accused. "You've been treating me like this ever since...." she trailed off without saying it, but she knew Xander caught her meaning. He shot a glare at her, but said nothing.

"Well?" the slayer insisted. "What did I do to piss you off like this?"

"I don't want to talk about it" was his only reply.

She hesitated a moment, then said "Is this about Spike."

He snorted in response.

"Well then, what IS it about?"

"I said." he gritted out from between clenched teeth, "I DON'T want to talk about it."

A part of Buffy knew that it probably wasn't a good idea to keep going, that she should stop before she went too far. But the annoyance and hurt that had been building up over the past few weeks overwhelmed her good sense.

"Dammit Xander, tell me!"

"No."

"What the hell is your problem with me?"

"EVERYTHING!" He exploded, his voice reverberating throughout the sedan, shocking Buffy into silence. Xander had never shouted at her like that.

His foot slammed on the breaks, bringing the vehicle to a sudden stop. Xander turned and pinned her to the seat with a cold look. "You wanted to know what my problem is? Well I'll tell you. I'm sick of your bullshit, I'm sick of your manipulations! But most of all, I'm sick of your holier then thou attitude. Being the slayer doesn't make you better then anyone else. And it DOESN'T give you a free pass to be a bitch. It doesn't let you treat your friends like the lowest common denominator in favor of your latest undead dipstick!"

Buffy was floored by his words, but he mind seized on his last words. "So I was right. This is about Spike."

Xander snorted for a second time at the vampires mention. "Hardly. I actually felt sorry for the guy a bit. I mean no one deserves to be treated like that, even if he is a souless killer."

"But he HAD a soul"

Xander shot her an apathetic look ."Buffy, look at my face. Do I LOOK like I give a fuck? Soul or no soul, he was still a demon."

"Like Anya?"

Even as the words left her mouth Buffy knew she had gone too far. She and Spike had been involved, she never had the intention of marrying him. Hell, she didn't even love him, THAT way. The coldness intensified around Xander until it felt like the car was encased in ice.

"Anya." he gritted her name out, as if saying it brought him pain. "was a human when we became involved. But you know what? This isn't about her, or Spike really. This is about you and how you treat your friends. How you would rather have a demon who has tried to kill you numerous times watching your back then those people who have been there since the beginning for you."

"Those so called friends were all too ready to throw me out of my own house when the going got rough." she spit back.

"Rough? ROUGH?" His left hand flew to his eye patch and yanked it roughly off his face, exposing his scarred and empty eye socket. Buffy was repulsed by the sight, but even more by the fact that she allowed herself to be so. "That is my fucking eye socket! it's where my eye used to be before your stupid ass plan got it destroyed. And you expected me to just go right back there?"

Buffy summers found herself at a loss for words. She knew he was right, at least partially. Her plan had been foolhardy and people had paid for it dearly, some with their lives.. Or like Xander, with a grievous injury.

After few moments, Buffy found her voice. "What brought this on?"

Xander appeared shocked by the words, his mouth going slack. He turned away from her, his eyes refusing to meet hers. "I saw the note."

"The note? What do yo-" then it hit her. The note she had left for Dawn when Xander had tried to take her out of town.

This isn't the place for either you or Xander...

"You told me you weren't putting me out to pasture. And god help me, I made myself believe you. Even though Deep down I knew that's what it was. The note just confirmed it." He turned and faced her with an almost pleading look. "7 years Buffy! 7 years I stood by you, trying to help in whatever way I could. I knew I was never as useful as Giles or Willow. But I thought I meant something, to you, to the team." His voice had been losing power as he spoke, till the last sentence came out as a whisper. "I thought I made a difference."

Tears formed in Buffy's eyes, her heart clenching at his words. "You did Xander. You do mean something to me, to the team. And you did make a difference."

He graced her with a small, sad smile. "I'd like to believe that Buffy. I really would. But 7 years of being passed over for the super guy, whether as boyfriend or simply field partner.... That tells me otherwise."

And with that Xander started the car back up and pulled back onto the road, effectively signaling that the conversation was over. And while they had gotten several things out in the open between them, the air felt so much more oppressive to Buffy now then when they started the trip.

*****

Paris, France
The Louvre
1530

The young girl sat on the edge of the marble sculpture, tapping her fingers impatiently on the cool surface. <Is it time yet?> she asked the voice.

(Yes young one.) The voice informed her kindly (It is time.)

"yay" the girl whispered to herself, standing slowly to her feet. Her eyes spied a small group of children admiring an exhibit several feel away.

<Playtime.>