Buffy could only stand there, mouth agape.
"I said, IS IT TRUE!"
Buffy flinched back from normally calm Xander's outburst. He had raised his voice many times, but this was the first time she ever heard him yell.
She started panicking. Xander knew! How did he know? She thought wildly.
A few tense seconds passed.
"I'm waiting, Buffy. A simple yes or no will do." Xander stated calmly.
Xander had a look of pure hatred in his eye. She had only seen anything close to that look once before, when he was possessed by a Hyena spirit. His eyes had shone with a malevolent glee then, but now his lone eye shone with something different. Something.... darker.
Suddenly, Xander grabbed her by the arms and slammed her into the wall, hauling her up to eye level.
"ANSWER ME, GODDAMN IT!" Xander screamed.
But Buffy simply couldn't answer. She could only stare into his lone good eye as tears threatened to fall. That beautiful brown Xander eye, full of hatred, hatred all for her. Her heart broke from the sight of it alone.
Xander continued to stare at her, breathing heavy. Minutes passed, as the tears fell from Buffy's cheeks.
Xander finally spoke. "I guess that's all the answer I need."
All the hatred slowly seemed to melt, as he let her down. She could see it like a physical thing. All the anger and tension drained till there stood a thoroughly crushed and broken man in front of her.
Still he only stared. Tears now filling his eye.
"Xander...." Buffy hesitated. What could she say? Sorry? Sorry for ripping out your heart and stomping on it? Sorry for screwing the thing you hate most in the world and killing your spirit? She realized there was nothing she could say.
Minutes passed as they stared. Finally, Xander spoke.
"I don't want to look at you anymore Buffy. Leave me alone."
She wordlessly complied. She would talk to him tomorrow, after they both had some time to calm down and reflect.
As the door shut behind her. Xander sat down on the couch, and held his head in his hands. Where had he gone wrong? He was too emotionally and physically tired to think anymore. He slid down sideways and drifted off to sleep.
Buffy walked slowly through the streets towards home, her arms crossed in front of her, eyes downcast. She wasn't really paying attention to her surroundings
She thought back to her time with Angel. It was hot and passionate and sweet and loving. She never even thought of Xander. She was madly, head-over-heels in love with Angel while she was making love to him. On the kitchen table, on the bed, in the shower. She couldn't quite remember the details, but the feelings, she could remember the feelings clear as crystal. Why couldn't she remember the details? It couldn't have been that good. She couldn't even remember how they met in L.A. What was she doing there?
As she reached the house, her confusion settled into a sort of bone weariness. She was going to shower and then sleep.
She would figure this out tomorrow. She would figure it out if it was the last thing she ever did. Xander deserved no less. And that was one thing she was sure of. She loved Xander Harris with all her heart, and she wouldn't rest until she knew why she cheated on Xander with someone who only evoked a warm, tender feeling when she though of him now.