The First

Author: Koos van Winden <koosfanfic[at]>

This is not really Xander centric, but it's about Xander.

Rating: PG 13

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this fic. They belong to Whedon and Mutant Enemy.

Beta: Keith.

Timeframe: S7 Touched

Feedback: Please do

Ever since she saw him with that bandage around his eye her heart hurt. It hurt like never before. Well, with the exception of that one moment. That moment that had turned her all love for him into pure hatred. But now her thoughts had changed.

'What if.'

What if she had treated him better? What if she had listened to his problems? Would that have spared her the roller coaster of pain she went through. Would she still be with him?

Could she get him back? Could they have that same fire of pure passion burning again? She shook her head as she looked at him. She knew the answer.


Three thousand three hundred and ninety seven times. Against one.

She couldn't believe it. She could scream it. Three thousand three hundred and nighty seven orgasms against ONE. But she was his first. She was The First. And against that she could never compete. Never win his heart. She watched the couple one more time as they kissed with a hungry passion they'd never matched.

Unable to take the pain the sight caused her, she turned away and stared in the eyes of D'Hoffryn. "Nice try," she responded, but you can't win. Not by me. Not again. When you have opened the hellmouth I will fight with everything I have. I will fight with my life and die. "She paused. "And I'll die happy." The words were soft and pure, instead of her usual hardness. But it was honest, like she always had been.

It simply disappeared and she sighed. Even now she wouldn't cry. She would never cry, because the man she loved so much was happy and that made her happy.

The End