The Inn was a big success. The first night and day of the Nexus at the XanderZone provided much entertainment for all involved. Over 490 Xanders had shown up with at least 100 authors also showing up. Not everyone posted on the XanderZone came though, and several left while others whose characters had shown up, never actually came themselves.
The muses however had been forced to pool all their inspiration and power together to form their own private 'Muse only' wing where no author has power and if any author was able to write about what went on, then the muses could do whatever they wanted to that author, no matter what.
That wasn't all as more than just Xanders had shown up, being called secondary characters, but were now as populous as all the Xanders. Eventually, the night ran late even for all the demon hunters, and somebody was forced to create rooms so the Inn became an actual Inn with each character assigned their very own personal room, no matter what fic or Xander they belonged to...except of course in the cases of characters who were married to each other.
Then Inn was a Seven floor extravagent, yet extremely wierd building, as none of the authors were actual architects. The top five floors were rooms for the residents, holding 150 rooms per floor with everything imagineable as part of the package. Everything.
The first floor was the lobby, basically the entrance, a hallway to the elevator and stairs, an area for snack machines and every type of soda machine on the planet, and a side/back entrance to the Game room. Then the entrance to the Bar.
The Bar was now much larger. Capable of seating the full number of guests on the ground floor, and half as many on the balcony/top floor. The Game Room was only 3/4 the size, but that was because the Bar was also where everybody ate whatever they wanted thanks to somebody last night adding that a Cook and kitchen be attached right behind the Bar that could make anything.
The stage, for the time, was still silent, but had a fully operational karaoke machine, and some suggestible costumes behind the curtains that a Xander, author, or otherwise had yet to convince even one female to try on. Even the females who would normally wear such get-ups.
Jab21kill was polishing his countertop, glad he'd made himself part of the storyline when he felt something go through him. And a supernatural something at that. Breakfast was over and nobody wanted to go back to their lives yet. Introductions had been done, promises of stories to be written made, and fun had. Now everybody, mostly the Xanders, were talking about the stories they came from, and where they hoped and planned things would go from their current point in time.
Greatest American Xander had shown that despite not having the manual, learning finite control over the suit was more experience anyway and after destroying the entire place twice, forcing a rebuild each time, he finally had figured out enough to make sure he *didn't* destroy it a third time. Well...not accidentally anyway.
"You all right man?" GAX asked jab21kill when he noticed the Weapons Rack proprieter shiver slightly. That he saw, there was no reason for that.
Jab21kill shook his head. "I...I'm not sure man. I...I think something happened. Hey, can you find Jake and Ernie for me?"
"Sure, hang on a sec," Xander sped off in red blur to the muse section and brought the no-longer invisible Jake back. But no Ernie.
"Where's Ernie?" jab21kill asked Jake, slightly panicked.
"Don't know, don't rightly care right now. He disappeared some time later this morning after that incident with the camcorder..." Jake answered, before he too shivered and then looked at the entrance to the bar, all color draining from his face.
"He wouldn't..." the muse trailed off as most talk stopped at the entrance of two more people. One was familiar, as half the place had run around trying to kill him or worse last night. That would have been the female half backed up by their significant others. Ernie.
"He wouldn't what?" GAX and jab21kill both asked the muse. Then they took in the other person beside Ernie. "Oh hell," jab21kill said with dread, having a very poor sinking feeling in his gut.
"What?" GAX asked, at a complete loss. Then he looked again. "What the...?"
The man next to Ernie the muse was Joshua..."The Evil Guy".
"He...he...he's you!" GAX exclaimed, pointing between The Evil Guy and jab21kill.
The Evil Guy was indeed Joshua, except slimmer, paler, his dark brown hair mussed up a little, and wearing nothing but dark clothes. He had a pair of Ray Ban blut-reflection sunglasses on, which he took off and replaced with a pair of frameless clear glasses that if anything made him look even more evil and bonechilling as his ice blue eyes stared across the room.
"Yeah, and because I'm a perminent resident at the Inn now," jab21kill explained, "I'm a character. I gave up my status as an author. That allowed Ernie to go back and get the piece of me left over that is truly on his side. Hell, they're practically identical twins, except both evil, twisted, and perverted. Shit...if I'm here, then that means the Evil Guy finished Dark Times..."
"So?" Dark Times Xander snorted as he passed. They ignored him.
"Well...now what?" GAX asked.
"Don't get in their way. I'm just a character, same as you GA. With Evil Guy here...he's the author now. Don't get in his way is all I can advise," jab21kill advised. GAX nodded and took the advice to heart.
(The Evil Guys perspective)
"Nice place. Got anything to eat? I haven't had a thing other than a single slice of pie in two days," Joshua the Evil Guy asked his muse.
"Uh, sure. No waitresses yet, but I'm sure that'll change pretty soon. The food appears right after you're done with the menu," Ernie explained.
"Yeah, yeah, fine," the Evil Guy stalked to a table and sat down and grabbed a menu, chose what he want, sat the menu back down, and had what he wanted before him in less than ten minutes.
"Uh, aren't you going to comment on this place? Or ask me why I brought you here?" Ernie asked nervously.
"No," the Evil Guy said monosylablically, and began to eat.
"Great. The first Oz," Ernie muttered.
The Evil Guy, not even pausing in his eating, reached his left hand down to his pants, and pulled out a pistol very similar to the one Sylvester Stalone used in the movie "Judge Dredd", only real, and shot Ernie in the leg. Between bites he added, "Don't ever compare me to that ass. He left Willow. For that, I will always hate him, no matter what. And I don't much like Seth Green either."
"Right. Gotcha!" Ernie hissed out as he collapsed from pain and blood loss, and slowly crawled himself back to the muse section.
"You were saying?" GAX said to jab21kill. Jab21kill gave him a fearful look. "Stay out of his way," jab21kill told his friend what he had been saying.
No new rules, only wanted to get people out of the rut of the Inn's schlump. Not to mention, consider it a challenge to fill in the history of what's written here...or tell me I went too far, warn me to never do this again and completely ignore it.
Your choice.
;>
Last time when we left our her . . .
TD Master: "Oh, bull, I sound like that announcer on Batman."
Joshua: "Just read it already!"
3D Master: "They can read themselves."
The red-glowing Xander stared blankly for a moment at the golden Xander. "I can't, and I won't try to speak for you," Warrior X said in a surprisingly soft, calm voice, "But I would never intentionally hurt Willow, or Cordelia the way that you did. Again, I can't speak for you, but my Cordelia loves me, and I love her. If it's…"
"FOR THE LAST TIME! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!!!" Littica roared.
In a little corner of the dream space/time, there was a really big explosion.
3D Master: "And, oh, yeah, than there was this:"
With that D and Death shook hands so that this day and in a way this universe could come to…
The End
3D Master: "Grumble, grumble!"
Joshua: "You're not supposed to grumble at the creator of this place."
3D Master: "I'll grumble when and to who I want to, now on with the story." (Leaves again, muttering.) "I can't believe he talked me into being a friggin' announcer!"
"You've really got a temper there," Warrior X said casually, his royal red ki flame shining around him brightly.
It created an interesting contrast to Super Saiyan Littica's angry gold ki flame. Littica studied the Warrior for several long moments, the debris from his blowing the roof off the place falling all around them, bouncing off their ki shields. Anya was quickly pulled to safety, despite being under his shield, by Faith, who used her own protective shield to safeguard Littica's fiancee.
"What I did to Cordelia and Willow was for mine and their safety. Cordy admitted to me herself that if she had known about my secret -my alien status - back then, there was absolutely no chance that she could have kept it a secret. And Willow and Oz got back together and their relationship grew stronger because of it," Littica enlightened his human counterpart.
"But Willow is with Tara now," Anya observed from the sidelines. Faith and Xander turned and looked at her with stunned gazes, then Xander quickly shifted his attention back to the Super Saiyan.
"I don't suppose it would make a difference if I told you Willow is with Buffy in my reality, would it?" Warrior X asked.
The Super Saiyan quirked an eyebrow, but didn't answer, his gaze steady and intense. Warrior X was staring back with the same intensity, however a bite of rage was hidden behind his eyes as well.
"Fine," Warrior X finally snapped, "You did it for a good enough reason. But I'll bet that there are lots of others that did the same thing . . . without a good reason."
There were some quieted mumbling after that in the quiet of the destroyed Inn, then one by one, and then just about every Xander left standing, suddenly started running, panicked into the room where the ordinary "Ladies' man" Xander from the 'Bomb series' was with all the lady muses. Not even they could stop that many Xanders panicky running in though. Here an there, only a few of the most powerful Xanders were left sitting puzzled at tables, calmly watching the two warriors, in anticipation of a fantastic spectacle. Finally, the only other ones left were the authors, and those hiding behind the Weapons Rack.
"So why are we still ready to fight if you admit that I did no wrong and pretty much forgive me?" Littica coldly asked.
X shrugged. "I'm bored. You're a Saiyan, so of course you still want to fight. And they want to see us fight," pointed behind him at the remaining people.
Littica gave him a Saiyan battle smirk, getting into a ready position. "Good enough for me," he replied.
Warrior X gave him the closest equivalent he could manage to a 'Slayer smirk' and got into his own ready position. They stood there, their power rising, their ki flames dancing brightly, and apparently waiting for something.
Faith rolled her eyes and stepped out and in between the two Xanders. She held her arm straight out, like she was about to try and stop them, but instead, she raised the arm, and then rapidly brought it down while shouting, "FIGHT! BEGIN!" And then she immediately raced back to protect the few characters left that couldn't protect themselves.
The moment Faith had said Fight, they tensed, the moment the syllable for 'B' left her lips, they both vanished into their maximum speeds.
*I won't even need level 2 to take this guy out,* Littica thought as he judged the skill level of his opponent.
X calmly stuck to the Earth-based martial arts of his implant for the first part of his fight, while judging both the skill and the power of his opponent. *Judging from the calm way he's fighting, he's definitely got Ultra Super Saiyan going for him, which is damn impressive in its own right, he must know I'm more skilled than I'm powerful, so the fact that he's still calm means he undoubtedly has reached Super Saiyan 2. Which is damn impressive; from what Goku tells me, only he and a mere three ancestors have reached it. Even Buffy still has difficulty beating that!*
For the first few minutes, it was just testing each other, seeing how good they were, their endurance, how far they could go. During that, the second level that had finally been completed was brought down to the first, the game room had more in common with Swiss cheese than Swiss cheese does, and the entire back wall was crumbled to bits.
Finally, they stopped, hovering about six feet in the air, ten feet across from each other in the mess that remained, breathing heavily. Warrior X caught his breath first. "You're good. I'm better. Unfortunately for me, you're also more powerful than I am with that Super Saiyan 2 transformation of yours, and I'm not *that* much better," he admitted straightforward.
Littica smirked.
"But in case you didn't notice, I'm also incredibly stupid, picking a fight with a Super Saiyan, so how about you just go all out and I'll do my best to keep up," Xander shot Xander a lopsided grin.
"You're a fool," Littica told him with a grin.
Faith looked at the spectacle, and told Anya, "Your Xander is way too overconfident."
Anya raised her eyes brows at that, and snorted. "Your Xander is gonna get his ass kicked."
Faith nodded, "Oh no doubt about that, but yours is still too overconfident."
Xander's grin broadened. "Fine. Then give me Super Saiyan 2 and I'll stop holding back."
Littica shook his head. "Nah, I'm kinda bored actually, this is far too easy; Level 2 is way beyond necessary. I'll tell you what, you stop holding a back, and I'll give you a glimpse of my true abilities." Warrior X's jaw clenched, the guy had to be kidding.
Faith turned to Anya and gave her a sympathetic look, "You're going to be bandaging him up later. Your Xander has already maxed out his combat abilities from what I've seen, X has barely tapped his skills."
Anya looked at Faith, and then chuckled. "You think Xander was maxed out? I have none of your senses, but I've watched my Xander fight and train long enough to know this much: he's barely begun to fight." Faith looked at Anya with a frown, doubt creeping into her mind.
"Why you . . ." Warrior X said, and with a yell powered up some more. He shot forward, threw a punch and missed. Littica's knee smashed into his gut and he doubled over it for a moment. X growled, and gave Littica an uppercut that sent him flying upward through the ceiling. X joined him moments later. Super Slayerette Xander and balance demon Anya - who had decided that since they wouldn't remember this place other than a dream, they might as well rekindle their sexual relationship for a fleeting moment - sat up in the bed and looked astonished at the two warriors. X threw a punch, which Littica blocked, and followed it up with a leg swipe. Littica lifted his leg out of the way and kicked the same leg into X's stomach. X on his turn blocked it, and threw another uppercut that missed.
SS Xander just realized Anya wasn't entirely safe here, so he used his Superman super speed to pull on boxer shorts, put Anya's thong back on her and quickly carried her down through one of the holes the warriors had made. He flew to Unity, who looked rather astonished through the holes that formed more and more in the ceiling, and placed his topless ex-fiancé down on the ground.
"Hey," Anya Littica pouted and Balance Anya from behind the shield XL and Faith had erected around the bar. "Why do you get to steal the show?"
Balance Anya quirked her eyebrow, made delicate turn that had every remaining non-gay man's eyes glued to her almost totally nude form, and suggested, "You could take off your clothes."
"Nah, that would make me look petty, and I'm not petty," Anya Littica said calmly. SS Xander's eyes almost bugged out at that. An Anya that was #not# petty? This guy must have had #some# influence on her.
The warriors crashed back through the ceiling, Littica first, followed by X who was yelling out as he threw a punch. Littica just barely avoided it, by moving fast enough to his left, so fast he blinked out of sight for a moment. So instead of impacting on Littica, X's fist smashed through the table at which sat GODS Xander, who had just picked up his drink. The table shattered, and X was already after Littica. "Hey, you almost ended my drink!" GODS Xander protested with annoyance. He got up and walked over to a still standing table, and he muttered, "Damn chi warriors! Never any fucking restraint!"
"Uh, should we stop them?" SS Xander asked a slack-jawed Unity, as he felt the whole building shake, and more and more holes being blasted into it.
"Are you nuts?" the redheaded, young woman asked him in disbelief.
SS Xander gave her lopsided grin, and said, "Hey, I've got Superman's strength, speed and abilities."
"Can you level an entire city? 'Cause I've never seen Superman do that, in any of the movies, or cartoons, or whatever," Unity asked SS Xander with giant eyes. With a puzzled expression, he shook his head. Unity pointed over to the fighting pair, and said, "To them that's peanuts. They'll have enough to spare to level every other city on the planet."
SS Xander looked over the warriors, and muttered, "Oh." He blinked and then said, "I guess I'll keep to taking the not powered Xander out of the line of fire then." Unity nodded in a that's-bloody-well-good manner that reminded Xander of Giles.
Back in the fight X fired two balls of ki at point blank range at XL, who jumped over them and X. The first ball crashed through a wooden wall, leaving a hole, flew over a bed containing a difficult to discern male form under a mass of women, and crashed into the outer wall of the Inn blowing it outward. The second ball flew through the newly made giant hole, and the non-powered Xanders waiting in the whiteness outside quickly ducked to the floor. BS Xander raised his head from the mass of women, and watched with giant eyes as the second ball shot over the other Xanders, and crashed into end of the pocket universe and exploded mightily. He looked back to where the ball came from, straight through a big hole in the wall, and was just privy to seeing XL lower himself hands first to the floor, after which he twisted on his axis made a helicopter kick that Warrior X ran into and got kicked backwards several meters, crashing through two tables, and landing against the wall which cracked under the impact, sending several support beams crashing down to the floor.
"Oh, shit," BS Xander said with giant eyes. "I'm getting out of here," he muttered, and started extracting himself from beneath the women, grabbing for his boxers, which he wiggled into.
"Hey, where are you going?" one muse called out with a pout.
"The wall just got blown up, I'm not staying here. That energy ball missed us by a hair," BS Xander said fearfully and grabbed his jeans from the floor.
"Something blew all right," one muse called, while the others were still busy with themselves.
One muse got up more lucid from the mass of female flesh and told Xander, "Bullshit . . ."
"Hey, it's Bombs and Souls," BS Xander corrected.
"Bullshit," the muse said again, pausing for just a moment, before continuing her original thought, "You're just making excuses not to satisfy us and leave us wanting more."
BS Xander blinked. "You wanna stay here, be my guest," he said, and then ran to the hole in the outer wall, jumped through it, and started pulling on his pants while he ran to join the others. The muse looked wide-eyed at the hole she only now noticed. The other muses, noting the absent Xander looked up as well. Then they collectively turned their heads to the hole in the inner wall, and their eyes widened fully.
"Oh, shit, he wasn't full of bullshit after all," the muse who had accused Xander earlier. Suddenly the muses started clamoring from the bed, grabbing a few garments, but not much and started running and jumping through the same hole Xander went. Others used the outer door the Xander had used earlier to get to a safe place. And so the scantily clad, on occasion half naked muses got themselves to safety, much to the delight of the other Xanders.
Back in the Inn itself, Faith looked through the shield at XL and Warrior X. X slowly extricated himself from the hole, wearily eying Littica who stood arms folded across his chest, and a Saiyan battle smirk on his face. "Fuck," she commented, that handstand was pure Goku style. There weren't many who had the timing to pull that off, successfully hitting someone, and not getting their ass handed to them."
"Told you he was better than that," Anya commented smugly, at which time Balance Anya, still wearing only a thong, and quite happy about it, it seemed, decided to do the prudent thing and see if she could join the other two women, the bartender and a few Xanders inside the shield. To her surprise she easily passed through the shield. Several Xanders eyed her and smiled, she smiled back sexily.
"You know," Littica started with a grin, as X walked over to him slowly, both giving each other a breather, not that either of them needed one. "You actually managed to hit me a few times, I think it's time to power up some."
X smirked, "You do that." Littica roared, his energy flared up and his muscles expanding to insane proportions, and looked at X with a smirk. "Real nice, but you also lose a giant amount of speed with that," X told him, with an anticipatory grin. "I'm much faster than you now."
"Yeah, I guess I'll have to start using my skill to fullest to compensate then," Littica replied his grin not faltering for a second.
The eyes of Warrior X widened for a moment, and then he grinned. He attacked, but every punch and kick missed. Littica bent backward at his waist, X's punch missed, and he reversed sending a backhand at Littica's head, which he parried, sending X over to one side, overextended, and smashed a fist into X's side of his head. He careened backward, directly toward a non-powered Xander who had been too shocked to move. Unity's eyes widened, she quickly made a few signs, mumbled a spell, and the Xander disappeared from X's path and reappeared inside the shield. "Phew, that was a close one," Unity muttered, and got an appreciative clap on her shoulders from SS Xander.
An angry Warrior X slowly dug himself a way out of the ruble that had been a wall. When he cleared it, toilets could be seen behind him, and Warrior X was somewhat wet. He growled, flared his chi and dried himself instantly.
"You know, you were talking about how powerful, how strong your Glorificous is, are you certain you didn't mistake raw power with skill, 'cause I gotta tell ya, my Glory was as skilled as I am, she would have made mince meat out of you," Littica told Xander with a grin. "If the rest of your guys were as bad as you, then it would have taken a Super Saiyan 3 and lots of support to take down my Glory as well."
"Stop mocking, and fight me," X growled at Littica.
The Super Saiyan calmly shook his head, and said, "I told you. You stop holding back, show me everything you've got, and I stop mocking."
X growled, and then chuckled. He tapped into every alien martial arts combined with human martial arts not of Earth in his implant. "Now you're gonna get it!" he yelled out, as he used the shroud technique, and attacked. Littica was surprised, he was certain X's power had gone up, but it felt as if X had no more energy left, and his attacks weren't as predictable as before. There were countless combinations that he hadn't ever thought off, and some of those got through his defenses, as the two fighters flew, ran, and walked throughout the lower part of the Inn, often moving so fast they often blinked out of existence for most of the people present.
Littica avoided a blow, and flew backward quickly. He powered down from Ultra Super Saiyan, to Super Saiyan full power, to regain his speed. He placed his hands similar to the Kamehameha wave next to his body, X noted, charged energy, and yelled, "TANEKAKOSA!" The powerful wave energy headed straight at X, and he jumped over it, then flew along it, straight at Littica. The Saiyan stopped firing and blocked X's blow. The wave moved off to the right, straight at a corner, where a Xander and his female companion sat wide-eyed.
SS Xander had had no idea whether the two had the ability or strength to handle such a blast, and if so if they weren't too shocked to do something about it. So using his super human speed he had already blasted off toward them before the beam had well and truly had veered off toward them. He snatched both of them from their boots, and zipped passed the beam with only a fraction of a second to spare. (Don't they always?) He quickly placed both inside the shield, when he heard the woman's loud protests, and he realized he had his hand wrapped around her right breast. He quickly muttered an apology and ran back to Unity, who looked back at where the beam had went to. He followed her gaze, then up, and saw the beam shooting up into the air, through a now large hole in the ceiling, second floor, and roof of the inn. He looked back at the warriors, looked up, and saw two more holes in the roof, and the two of them fight in the air high above the inn, where Littica sent a giant amount of energy balls down at the pursuing Warrior X. The warrior suddenly had a hard time avoiding them.
"Oh, shit," Unity muttered in shock, and SS Xander whistled. The balls rained down upon the inn, destroying part of the second floor, blasting pieces of it away, and then did the same to the lower part. Small explosions appeared everywhere where the balls hit around the bar.
GODS Xander picked up his drink just as his table got blown up, splinters of wood flung past his face. With wide eyes he quickly moved his hand and drink, deftly, but barely avoiding the splinters. He growled, and said, "If they don't miss my drink next time, they're going to get it."
With difficulty Warrior X had managed to avoid the blasts and had reached Littica. The two started a furious exchange of blows, each hitting the other on occasion, but most missed or were blocked. Suddenly Littica sped off to X's right, and the Champions warrior's eyes widened in shock. There right above him, was a giant orb of energy: the Tanekakosa wave that Littica had fired earlier. Rapidly X let himself drop, and fired his own wave. "KAMEHAMEHA!!" he screamed and fired the beam of raw multi-spectral energy. It collided with the Tanekakosa wave, and the two waves started a tug of war with a giant orb forming where they collided. X quickly veered to the left, firing his wave slightly from the side, and both waves then sped off in that direction, until both hit the boundary of the pocket universe, and exploded with blinding flash.
*That was close,* Warrior X thought startled, and looked over at Littica who already came at him. At the last moment X shot downward just a little bit, making Littica fly over him, but he quickly slowed down and turned around. *Damn it, this guy is thinking ahead too. I've got to do it, a spirit attack. I already unleashed Warrior's Fury, so can do only one now, and that one only ten times, and then it's over. But it'll be at a much greater power. Now which one?*
X pointed his fingers at Littica, as if he was playing cops and robbers, he formed a gun, his left hand wrapped around his right wrist. Littica saw X was up to something and so slowed down. "SPIRIT SHOTGUN!" X yelled and fired. Eight small, but powerful balls of spirit energy were launched at Littica. X fired a second, and then a third time.
*Shit!* Littica thought as he saw twenty-four balls of energy come at him like that. The first he bashed aside, the second he avoided, the third collided with him head on. The energy lanced through his being, and he gritted his teeth. Littica didn't quite now what they were, but they packed a wallop. He was determined not to get one against him again.
X watched Littica deftly avoid his Spirit Shotgun blasts, and grinned. He formed a disc of energy, and threw it with the yell, "KI DISC!" The disc flew at Littica and he avoided it the first time, as the Saiyan got rid of the last of the shotgun blasts. The disc made a round trip and came at Littica again. *Two can play this game,*Warrior X thought with a grin. What he got to see then, astounding him to no end.
The disc was about to hit Littica, but he jumped up on time, arched his back, and landed with his right hand on the flat side of the disc. Littica continued his flip, and pulled the disc along. He made a screw, came out facing X, and threw the disc right back at him. X's eyes widened and twisted aside just in time, or disc would have cut him into two pieces. He watched with astonishment as the disc twisted in air, and started coming toward him, the eerie sound that was a mixture of energy crackling and a saw blade spinning, didn't help any.
Faith's eyes were wide. "That's… different…" she muttered in astonishment. Never had she seen someone so simply take over someone else's attack and make it his own like that.
"Disbeliever," Anya Littica accused with a scornful face. The Xanders next to them, looked up in astonishment. Some had seen cartoons where characters could do this stuff, but in real life?
X once again avoided the disc, and once again it twisted around to come at him. X rapidly lowered himself, and started a dance of death and avoidance with the energy disc. He was pretty certain Littica wouldn't kill him with the disc, and hold it back, but pretty certain wouldn't keep him alive if he was wrong. Unknown to himself he reached the perforated building of the Inn, and just as the disc was going to hit him, he twisted to horizontal position. The disc sliced through the ceiling between the first and second floor like a hot knife through butter. The speed of the disc pulled the second floor along the disc's width, and it got ripped away. The disc moved along, circling on its axis, zipping across the non-powered Xanders' heads, and crashed into the dimension's boundary where it exploded. The non-powered Xanders' eyes widened in shock as they saw the section of second floor which was being torn apart, coming right at them. Quickly they started running to either side, the second floor opening the mass of Xanders like Moses parted the Red Sea, after which the section of second floor crashed down on the ground of the dimensional pocket, and splintered apart.
X's momentum in the mean time had carried him to the middle of Inn, right where a second floor should be. His eyes widened, as Littica appeared above him, his hands folded together for a double-handed blow. A moment later the blow connected and sent X flying down to the floor, crashing into it, sending wood splinters and dust up into the air, and creating a small crater where X lay.
Littica appeared on the floor in between the bar and the crater, and folded his arms across his chest. X slowly got up out of it and eyed Littica. Both warriors were battered, and bruised, and XL said with a smirk, "You're good. I haven't had a fight like this since I destroyed Loki."
Warrior X grinned, and said, "I'm glad I could oblige." X then balled his fists and moved his arms out along his sides, standing in a T pose. With a yell he started gathering his energy. Littica raised his eyebrows, smiled, and quickly powered back to his Ultra Super Saiyan level. Warrior X wasn't at his level of power, but gathering all that energy together would allow a far more powerful attack for someone's power level.
Faith's eyes widened as she saw what X was doing. "Oh, shit!" she yelled out, and quickly left the safety of the chi shield, and rushed into the back of the Inn. SS Xander and Unity looked at each other for a moment, and then quickly followed the dark-haired Slayer to the back. Faith realized the other two had reached her, and she told them, "You go to the second floor. Get everyone left in the back out, now!" They nodded, and rapidly did as Faith told them.
X asked Littica if he was ready with the mere twitch of an eye. Littica grinned widely. X brought his hands together at his hips, his two fists touching. Yellow golden energy started forming throughout his red chi-flame, coiling towards his arms. "MAI KIRU!" he roared, snapped his arms up, aiming at Littica, and a star-shaped blast of golden-white energy was unleashed from his arms and fists. The blast rapidly circled on it's own axis and expanded, ready to engulf Littica, who placed his hands on the blast and pushed back. His right leg extended backwards for balance, as he pushed against the blast. The star-shaped energy though continued to expand and move forward, pushing Littica backward, his feet scraping over the floor. Having nowhere to go, the blast expanded more rapidly, and the energy that extended next to Littica rushed past him. He re-enforced the chi shield surrounding the bar and energy rolled over it. The back of the Inn, containing the kitchen, and the rest was not so lucky. With a blast of sound the entire back was torn asunder and vaporized. The Mai Kiru rushed onward and crashed against the pocket's boundary where it exploded with a giant mushroom cloud.
The bartender turned around, and looked at the cabinets with bottles of beverages. He walked to the side of the bar and peeked around the remaining storage compartments, seeing . . . nothing but a few floorboards, and a staircase down into the cellar. Left and right from where the Inn outer walls should be, lay several persons. To the left was Faith protecting several Inn employees, and to the right were SS Xander, and Unity doing the same. "This is #not# coming out of my paycheck," the bartender commented, cleaning a glass in his hands, and returned to the middle of the bar.
"This is fun," Gerius Xander commented from his table in the left side of the Inn. Several of the authors, some slightly shaking in their boots, looked over at that particular Xander in disbelief. He raised his eyebrows at them.
From a table next to him GODS Xander commented, "A little too bright for my liking."
Faith arrived back at the front of the Inn, seriously annoyed, and watched Littica holding the remaining ball of bright white golden energy at bay with some difficulty. She watched him bend through his knees, shifted his hands, and then with a yell he threw the ball straight up and through what remained of the second floor of the Inn, which lost another section. The ball shot up, until it too reached the boundary, and exploded blindingly.
"See what I mean?" GODS Xander added to Gerius Xander, who just shrugged. Littica brought his hands to his mouth, blew on them a few times and then shook off the burning sensation in them, grinning widely. "X! What the hell do you think you're doing!?" Faith yelled out at her friend.
"Beating him!" X told her with determination.
GODS Xander had just finished his drink, and seeing the lull in the battle, he called out to a fearful waitress inside the chi shield, "Hey, waitress! How about a refill?"
"I'm not stepping out there!" she told him fearfully. "You come get it yourself!" GODS Xander sighed.
Before Faith could add to her tirade, Littica spoke up, "Now this is what I'm talking about." He flashed his Saiyan patented battle smirk at Warrior X, and added, "Now you've earned the right to fight Super Saiyan 2, not that I really need it, or that you stand a chance against it." He balled his fists, and roared out as his power skyrocketed. The ground started to tremble under the power, parts of the floorboard was flung away, bolts of lightning started flashing through Littica's aura.
Over in the weapons rack, cramped with authors and non-powered Xanders, one of them tapped on a calm Jab21kill's shoulder. He turned around and asked, "Yes?"
"Not to interrupt you or anything, but exactly just how much can this shield handle? I mean you said it was around the Enterprise E, but is it also powered by a matter - anti-matter reactor?"
"Don't worry," Jab21kill answered calmly, looking with wide, eager eyes at the spectacle.
Littica's hair stood up straight on his head, except for two hairs than hung in front of his face. The hairs gently waved about, his chi flamed burned brighter, the pulsing sound was more intense, electric discharges flashed through his chi flame on irregular intervals. A powerful shockwave crashed through the ruins of the Inn, and XL smirked at Warrior X.
GODS Xander watches with fascination as the shockwave shattered the glass in his hand. "Cool," he muttered.
"Hey," Gerius Xander called from beside him. "I thought you were going to mess with them if they destroyed your drink."
"I was finished with the drink, they just got the glass. They did me favor now I don't have to bring it back myself," GODS Xander replied to him.
Gerius Xander looked at his own dripping, shattered glass, his beer over his pants, and turned back to GODS Xander. "I hate you," he said with a scowl. He turned back to the warriors and said, "You know, this is starting to get intense."
X was annoyed as hell. That smirk irritated him on both his Slayer friends, it annoyed him on his Saiyan teachers, but seeing it on his own face looking back at him was just too much. He was going to win this, but how? He knew the Saiyan version of himself knew that his Warrior's Fury was burning through his energy fast. He smiled, it was nuts really, could it even be done? Would it work? Well, the Kaioken could be multiplied like that. He reached within himself, cultivated his spirit, and his red aura intensified, the building shook as the aura grew more powerful, discharges of energy flashed in the flame, and it got a slightly lighter tint to it, somewhat purplish, as it burned brighter. And his eyes were now glowing a bright red instead of solid black. "WARRIOR'S RAGING FURY!!!" X roared and a small shockwave of energy burst away from him.
"Okay," Faith muttered rather surprised. "That's new." Suddenly Faith remembered something and pulled out her Global to check it. Her eyes widened in disbelief at what she saw. "X!" she shouted at her Xander
"What? I'm busy!" he shouted back.
"TAKE OFF YOUR DAMN GEO SUIT!! IT"S SET AT 200 Gs!!" Faith shouted. X blinked, then grumbling to himself, took off the latex-like jacket and both boots, they landed in the basement, through the floorboards creating small craters around each as they landed.
"Beat him, Xander!" Anya Littica called out with enthusiasm. The Xanders around him looked at her. Anya looked at them, back at Littica, and said, "This is annoying. Beat him, #MY# XANDER!" Faith looked at her with raised eyebrows, and then decided to return to the bar to protect everyone with her chi shield.
Littica's smirk deepened at Anya's remarks, and then burst forward, attacking the newly powered up, but rapidly losing energy, Warrior X. Punches and kicks were exchanged with almost impossible to follow speed. Energy balls flew around, colliding on the other person, and colliding on each other. They flew up and battled in the air, they flew down and battled on the ruined floor. One of X's energy balls went wide and went straight for un-powered Xanders outside. Littica fired ball right after that straight at them as well. Just as X's ball was going to impact, Littica's ball intercepted it, sent it away to the left, and the balls exploded harmlessly in the air. Littica shot up in the air, fired an energy beam straight down, and X avoided it, firing energy ball after it himself. Just before the beam would hit and vaporize the Inn, the energy ball diverted it away. It crashed through the entrance, and exploded far enough away from the remainder of the building.
GODS Xander looked at the few rapidly dissipating remnants of the energy beam and gulped. "You know, this might just start to get a little too intense."
"Shit," Faith muttered, following the rapidly moving pair of warriors. "If I want to keep ahead of X, I better train real hard. Your Xander is bringing out the best in mine." Anya grinned at Faith, looked closer at Faith, and got an idea, then looked around the Xanders, her smirk deepened, and she decided to keep it to herself for now.
Littica threw a punch high in the air, X grabbed the arm, and twisted underneath it, ready to throw him down to the ground in a reversal. Littica went over X's shoulder, head first, and suddenly somersaulted in mid-air, putting his chi behind it, he kicked out with both feet, up straight into X's chin. X sailed upward and saw an opportunity. As Littica was still upside down he charged the air around him with chi in a controlled manner, ionizing the air, which in turn drew more energy from the air around him. He formed his hands in closed circle and looked through it too Littica who just right himself up. "Ion Pulse!" X said, and with a flash of his ki between his hands, a lightning strike was created, and burst forth down against the Super Saiyan. It hit dead center, the lightning blast striking through Littica's entire body and he was sent down to the floor of the Inn. Where he landed smoothly on his feet, and jumped up.
X knew he had to finish this quickly, he was running on empty, and multiple 'Warrior's Fury' was not something he was built for. He dove right down toward the Super Saiyan. To X's surprise he saw him smirk and jump up from the floor smoothly, making his attempted knee-smash to Littica's stomach miss. He saw Littica changing position and suddenly saw an opening. With a powerful yell he put all his energy into the kick and it connected . . . with Littica's groin.
Littica's face went white, he yelled out in pain, and as he quickly landed on the floor he grabbed his aching balls, gently bent over.
Anya saw it happening, and turned to Faith. With a glare she told her, "If he's impotent, I will hunt both of you down through every dimension, and use enough nuclear bombs to vaporize both your asses."
Faith's eyes rose, and then she swallowed, she had the distinct impression Anya wasn't bluffing. So this was what the vengeance of a vengeance demon was like? She hoped she never met one that was still a demon and had all her powers. "Don't worry," Faith tried to placate her. "It isn't the first time a guy gets hit there, everything will be fine."
GODS Xander saw what happened, felt a twinge of sympathy pain down there, and swallowed heavily. What he hoped for, wasn't happening. Xander Littica, albeit in pain, was still standing, and judging the contortions on his face . . . "Oh, shit," he said with widening eyes, and he instinctively got up from his chair. "This is bad."
Next to him Gerius Xander commented, "Man, you just don't do that. You don't ever kick a guy in the balls." What GODS Xander feared was happening, he felt Littica's power rise by the moment.
"I think it's time to get the hell out of here," GODS Xander commented, and Gerius nodded his approval, but calmly stayed put himself.
X decided to follow up his kick with a punch that connected squarely with Littica's face as he rose from his position. His face no longer had a smirk, it was utter anger, his chi flame burned brighter, the electrical discharges occurred more frequently and with greater intensity. His arms were tense, and the punch had no discernable effect. "That," Littica hissed, "was a very big mistake."
As X looked at the rage filled face of Littica, the hair elongating, he muttered, "Oh, fuck." Littica's pupils started darkening, his brows thickening, the eyebrows thinning as they drew back.
"No fucking way," Faith muttered in amazement. "It ain't possible, Goku should be the only one who can do that!"
"Son Goku?" Anya asked with raised eyebrows.
Faith shook her head, "Different one."
"Hmm . . ." Anya said, and then added with a dangerous smirk that eerily mimicked the Saiyan's, "in your dimension perhaps."
As Faith watched, Xander went into the pose that Goku had made familiar to her. Bent at the knees, arms hunched next to his body, and he roared. The wave of energy blasted her in her face even through her chi shield.
As Littica's power rose, his hair elongated further, and the floor and ground beneath his feet started to crack open, the cracks widening, and eventually light started emitting from it. Cracks formed above him, but not in the ceiling, for there was no more ceiling. Pinkish light filtered through the crack. More and more holes formed everywhere around him.
"Oh, fuck, we need to get out of here," Faith commented in fear, looking at how the very fabric of reality started to crack under Littica's power. The Xanders around her nodded in agreement and started to leave the chi shield.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Anya stated out loud. "Xander won't let anything happen to me. Your best bet is to stay as close to me as possible." They looked at her for a moment, and then tried to get as close to her as possible. "CRUSHING ME TO DEATH WILL MEAN HE'LL KILL YOU!" Anya called out in protest, which quieted everyone down. Faith's eyes widened as she felt her chi shield shatter under Littica's strengthening and enforcing shield.
Growling, now pissed at things having gone this far, she screamed an ethereal shout, and was briefly surrounded by a solid gold flame, and when it disappeared, her hair was now golden-blonde, and her eyes were solid gold except for her black pupils. She reestablished her ki shield and chanted a shield spell Willow had taught her to back it up, raising her energy enough that while she couldn't outdo the Super Saiyan 3, she could at least survive his energy wash.
In the weapons rack Jab21kill looked at the tears in the fabric of space and time, and he swallowed. "Uh, guys, remember when I said you didn't have to worry?"
"Yes," one of the people inside answered suspiciously.
"The shield was not designed with destruction of the space-time continuum in mind," Jab21kill said, and turned around to face the characters and authors inside. They looked at him blankly. "That means RUN!!!" The others understood that sentiment, turned around and ran to the nearest exits.
Back at the tables several authors got up and ran the same way the others were going, other Xanders too got up and went outside.
Outside with the un-powered Xanders the authors gathered and looked over at Inn disintegrating around tears in the fabric of space and time. "Shit," Drake said, looking over with wide eyes. "Can't his author stop him? Where's this guy's author?"
"Uhm, he's not here," Jab21kill said somewhat embarrassed.
The author's turned to him, and some of them said in choir, "What do you mean he's not here?"
"He's not here. I asked his permission to use Xander Littica over there, and #I# brought him here," he answered timidly.
"Stop him then," someone suggested.
"Can't, I became a character," Jab21kill said weakly. "He's not my character, so I don't have that much control over him anyway, and now that I'm a character I forfeited some of control abilities . . ."
"Are you telling me," Kyle started, quite angry, "that you brought a character here with enough power to tear apart this whole universe, and there's no way to control him?"
"I didn't know he had this kind of power," Jab21kill tried to defend himself. "I brought him here several weeks in advance of Episode 38 in which it was revealed when he destroyed a small dimensional pocket like this here, a little smaller perhaps but . . ."
"Wait a minute," Drake commented. "He's been a Super Saiyan 3 for quite some time now, you know from Dragonball Z, Super Saiyan 3 has enough power to tear holes in fabric of space and time don't you." Jab21kill shrugged. "Get him!" The authors piled on top Jab21kill to make him pay.
"Ow! Hey, come on, he won't harm his fiancee, oof, we've got nothing to worry about, ah!" Jab21kill exclaimed in desperation.
The other others quite ganging up on Jab21kill, looked at each other, and Lori said, "He's got a point."
Jab21kill got back up rubbing sore spots and looked darkly at his fellow authors.
At that moment Littica was finished powering up, with one final roar a blast of energy left him, that completely disintegrated what was left of the Inn, sending the remaining Xanders, including Warrior X, but except Jokilar Gerius flying away, leaving only a few floor boards here and there, a staircase to a probably caved-in cellar, and a protected bar.
Jokilar had calmly kept sitting at has table, but made a critical error in judgement. He couldn't be hurt, and he was too powerful to be blown away, but that didn't go for his table and stool. They shattered under Littica's power and a moment later Jokilar found his ass on the floor. He blinked, looked around, and muttered, "Ok, I may have underestimated him a little." He snapped his fingers, the chair and table reformed. He calmly leaned back on two of the chairs legs, and placed his feet on the table, ready to watch the rest of the fight.
At the bar one Xander managed to get himself together, swallowed, turned around, and ordered, "Scotch straight up . . . make it a double."
As if nothing was the matter the bartender calmly started fixing the drink and he stated, "I have to say for the record this time, that there is #no# #way# this is coming out of my paycheck."
"Thanks," the Xander said and started gulping down the liquid, which caused the other Xanders to start ordering stiff drinks as well.
Littica calmly stepped out of the hole he had dug for himself. Littica looked over at a fully risen Warrior X. "Can we get on with this?" he asked, determined not to show his fear, even though he knew there was no way he could fight Littica successfully now.
The growl coming from Littica told him 'yes'. The angry grin returned to Littica's face, and Warrior X swallowed away a lump. Instantly Xander Littica was at Warrior X's position a fist in his stomach. X was doubled over, he felt the pain blossom through his body. "You're going to pay for what you did!" Littica hissed angrily, before following up with a devastating uppercut.
Warrior X tried to fight Littica, but it was just too much; too much power, too much speed. Elbows to his chest and back, knees all across his body, punches everywhere. Everything just plain hurt, after only a minute of fighting against the Super Saiyan level 3.
After a particular vicious punch he found himself several meters away from Littica. He looked as the Super Saiyan calmly walked toward. *One last chance,* X thought fleetingly as he pulled himself to his feet. *The 'Final Finish'. That move drains away every last bit of energy you have, but it's all or nothing now.* X prepared himself, waiting calmly. He had only one shot at this.
"FINAL FINISH!" Littica heard shouted too late. Warrior X was there, throwing a punch with a brightly glowing fist at his face, so fast that even the Super Saiyan 3 was startled for a moment. The punch connected and if he'd been anything but Super Saiyan 3 at the time, the entire side of his face might have been made into mush.
While Littica was still reeling from the sudden pain, Warrior X rotated down and landed a kick with the same glow surrounding his leg, to the Saiyan's ribs, and again, they would have shattered upon the impact normally.
Now Littica really was in pain. He hadn't felt this much pain since he had drained himself of most of his energy and collided with the ground after blowing up a precursor asteroid. For a moment Warrior X was going to do what he normally did: crush the balls, but since he remembered that an attack there had gotten him into this mess in the first place, he completed it by smashing both fists into Littica's chest, and sending him flying backward. Warrior X collapsed right after that, from pain and lack of energy.
Littica flew back, and he stopped himself just before he would crash through his own chi shield. Anya and Faith watched as his Super Saiyan 3 transformation disappeared, then his second level, leaving a normal Super Saiyan, however normal a Super Saiyan is.
Littica let the shield around the bar drop, and flew over to X, who looked at him wide-eyed. Littica placed his foot right on his chest, and said, "I win." Then he pointed his hand at X's face and charged an energy ball. "Or would you like to contest that decision?"
"No," X groaned out sarcastically.
Littica squatted down, lowering his face toward X's, and hissed, "If you ever again, try to hit me there, I will tear you limb from limb, got that?" X nodded. "Good." Then Littica broke in a wide grin, and hauled the other warrior to his feet. "You were fantastic!" Littica called out, "Apart from one very bad decision, that is. Nobody I know can come anywhere close to you." The Saiyan than stretched out, popped a few bones in his neck, and said with a grin, "Haven't had a workout like that in ages! Wanna get a drink? Man, if you could become a Super Human."
"There's a Super Human?" X asked incredulously.
"Yeah, well, there is in my dimension, Krillin and co. can do it, I suppose most humans in most dimensions should be able to do it as well," Littica mumbled as the two warriors went over to the bar.
"Hmm," a smirk formed on X's face.
Disclaimer: See the freakin Archive website!
Author: Joshua, just Joshua because both jab21kill and The Evil Guy are "MY" characters, of myself.
AN: Every Xander that was in the last "Inn" RR, is in this one. Yes, EVERY ONE. Including the two or four that destroyed/recycled the last one. The Xander wearing the red suit, I don't remember his name, is basically everybody's waiter/servant, and because of a new trick he found out about the suit in the inbetween last and current, he can be in multiple locations at once.
AN2: jab21kill is still the guy in charge of the weapons rack. Yes, the rule about bringing in secondary characters and obtaining weapons to bring them in still rings true. The Evil Guy is... well he's the dark side of every author's imagination, multiplied by about a hundred fold.
The muses had disappeared, while the authors were just starting to pour down from upstairs.
jab21kill took a break, putting a 'OUT TO BREAKFAST' sign on his countertop and walked over to the table while the waiter, wearing his red-hued armor underneath a waiter's apron, brought a round of breakfast for the identical looking aparitions of a single author.
"How did you get here?" the Weapons Rack owner asked the Author.
"Ole Ern thought the place could use some live'ing up. So, since you actually stuck yourself behind that stupid bar," The Evil Guy laughed, "I stepped in and finished up several important pieces, not to mention got rid of that garbage you called "Korpershalter", and when Ern showed up, and told me about this place... well lets just say, you weren't the only one who needed a vacation."
jab21kill frowned, but seeing as his favorite target dummy was not around, he just sat there and glared at his evil half.
"You have to bring in characters to be here. New rule. For an author to be present, at least one of his characters, and it must be a Xander, must be in attendance at the Inn in order to remain himself." jab21kill recited. "And I've already brought all of my Xander characters here, leaving none for you, so get out!"
Evil Guy smirked and snapped his fingers.
"Come on in guys," he shouted at the entrance.
The first to follow through the door to the Bar was rather plain looking, until jab21kill looked just up and behind his shoulder, where a transparent and seemingly ghost-like Buffy floated. He walked over to the table and dipped his head in recognition at the Weapons Rack propriter, and then shook hands with the Evil Guy as he sat down next to him. The Buffy apparition continued to float over his shoulder.
"Meet the Xander from ShaXan, the Shaman with a Slayer Spirit as his Official Guardian Ghost," the Evil Guy introduced.
"I prefer Spirit!" Buffy snapped, suddenly becoming more solid and walking around to sit on a table behind jab21kill.
"Guardian Spirit," EG amended.
"Next!" he shouted over his shoulder.
Surprisingly two people, both solid this time, came in. Only one... one was NOT a plain ordinary Xander. He wore clothing similar to that of ninjas, black, skintight, but over it he wore an ice blue tunic. And the faceplate of his mask looked as if it were frozen instead of hard stone. Sub-Zero.
The Xander next to him was typical of all First-Season based Xanders, right down to the goofy haircut. However, when Sub-Zero removed his mask, it revealed an identical face, just with much shorter hair.
"The Xander from Mortal Kombat: Hellmouth, and his twin brother Kahn Harris, aka Sub-Zero."
Before he could shout again, the last figure entered, and unlike the others, this one was a drop dead stunningly gorgeous woman with long dark hair, except for her bangs, which were a rainbow of colors, like her eyes, between honey-blonde, brunette brown, bright red, and a more sedate, natural blonde. Her eyes seemed to constantly switch between hazel, bright green, deep blue, chocolate brown, and a softer shade of brown.
"I'm sure I don't need to introduce X, now do I?" The Evil Guy smirked as he kicked out the remaining chair beside him. X, glaring at him, merely took the seat and sat casually beside him.
"All right, so I can't force you to stay, but I doubt you'll stay very long anyway," the Weapons Rack master intoned. "I'm sure you'll be bored in no time. You missed all the excitement last night."
"I'm sure it was devastating," X sarcastically remarked.
"Hey, where are all the Xanders this place is supposed to have anyway?" Buffy-spirit asked.
jab21kill shrugged. "Sleeping," he answered, "But they should be down any second as soon as the cook..."
"BREAKFAST!! COME AND GET IT!!!!" the red-armored chef cried out from the kitchen, although his voice echoed throughout the entire Inn as though he were in every room as he screamed it.
Within seconds, a loud thunder could be heard in the aftermath of the shout, and seconds after that, the fastest Xanders appeared at the Bar/kitchen set up, followed almost instantly by every single other one, creating a ruckus the likes of which people could only imagine, not being at a Rock Concert or some other special event.
"Iana please tell me why I'm doing this instead of going to bed?" Asked D as he descended the stairs into the bar.
"You are doing this because you want be to give you more ideas and I'll only do that here," replied Iana as she accompanied D.
"The Inn is dead; everyone went home after the first day and hasn't been back except Josh. Its empty, why don't you just help me with the battle scenes in Inheritance so we can get it finished. Besides this can't be the right place or Glimmer and Glamour wouldn't be here," said D as he swatted at the annoying Pixies.
"Your right, there OC's and shouldn't be here. Don't worry I have just the thing to fix it," said Iana right before she put her fingers in her mouth and let out a shrill whistle.
Soon a two foot creature that had a Xander head and the body of a rabbit bounced up. It quickly swallowed the pixies and spat them out the door.
"Not a Xander plot bunny, the XanderZone is already teeming with them," groaned D as he looked at the creature.
Iana simply gave him a mild stare and said, "Can you think of a better BOUNCER for this place?"
D just groaned. "Homer got a muse that gave him stories that lasted thousands of years after he died, mine makes bad puns. Have you ever thought of what will happen to the Anya's when they see this? The whole place will be torn apart in a riot, and I personally don't want to wreck the place again."
Iana just smiled like a cartoon cat (meaning that the rest of her was invisible) and said, "Don't worry Greatest American Xander will fix anything that is broken. But you were right before this place is kind of boring without everyone else here so let's go out."
D gave a relieved sigh, "Okay let's go back to the real world and get working on that story."
Iana just laughed and said, "You dear sweet, little man, who said I wanted to leave? I just said I wanted to go out, as in outside. You do remember outside right? I think you may have visited once or twice when you were still a kid and in decent shape."
"Ha, freaking, ha Iana. I know what the outside is there just isn't any here, we built The Inn in limbo remember?"
Iana just smiled and said while pulling D through a new door, "That's the great thing about limbo; there is always room to add things." And sure enough on the other side was a huge amusement park with every ride imaginable. "I figure the first day everyone got to know each other the second day we can have some fun, do some activities."
"This is great Iana, but what if an author or a muse doesn't want to go to an amusement park?"
"That's the best part. There is a whole world of environments all a muse has to do is open a door and they are where they want to be. I just know how you like these places so I brought us here first."
"Do you think we could ride a rollercoaster," asked a new voice startling D.
"Aarg! Oh, Death its you, I didn't see you coming."
Death just gave a half smile and said, "Not many people do. Just wanted you know that I held your Xanders back as long as I could but they should be arriving any moment now."
"Crap! Maybe we can loose them in the maze. Quick we need to hurry!"
"Quit pulling me!" said Iana. "What's the rush anyway it's not like they can kill you."
"We haven't worked on Emerald Knight in over a year. He may not be able to kill us but he sure will try."
"You heard the man Death we need to get moving, pump those legs!"
From the various alleyways and passages afforded within the immense puzzle, the steady and monotone sound of clicking broke the air. There was no true origin of the echo, but it's repetitive sound frightened D and Iana to the source of their very soul. It was unwavering in it's repetitiveness, and though they were unable to tell inwhich direction it was coming from there was no doubt in anybodies mind that it was indeed getting closer.
Death leaned casually against a nearby wall as his companions searched for concealment. "You really should be enjoying this you know?"
"What's that Skelator?"
Death looked momentarily hurt at the insult passed to him by 'D', but then waved his hand aside as if to deflect any further barb's at his expense. "I said you should be enjoying this. The adrenaline, the fear, the emotions churning within you. I am truly envious. It has been an age since I last felt anything real, anything worth feeling."
Typically a debate would be borne at this statement between the Spector of Mortality and it's human subject. But this was not the time or the place for such things. This was not good for the desperate writer. What was it worth to go to the trouble of he and Iana making a hiding place to avoid a deluge of XanderZone Plotbunnies, if they had Death standing right beside where they were camouflaged.
The Maze was a good idea at the time, but little thought was given to the counter quandary it posed.
Yes, it was indeed easy to lose any dangerous Xander creation's in the confusion of blocked passages, and no-where trials. But it was just as easy to get themselves lost as well. For an hour they had tried to escape their earlier decision, and for an hour they tried to deafen themselves to the constant 'clicking' approaching them.
It seemed inevitable that whatever the source of the noise was that it was continuing undertired and unswayed in it's journey.
"Okay, Chalk-face. Here's the plan, me and Iana will hide over here and you send Mr. Slow-and-Steady away somehow."
Death looked at the tight and frightened features of both his companions and sighed wearily. "You do realize you will owe me big for this, don't you?"
A smile quickly spread across Iana's face, this was as good as an agreement. Without another word, both human's then ducked behind a fake, but full shrub, and awaited with curiosity for their Tracker.
Five minutes later, a very well attired Xander came into view. He carried the bearing of a gentleman, his cane keeping in perfect time with his steps. As he approached the non-chalant skeleton, he bowed his head and tipped his hat. Pleasantries were easily exchanged, and there appeared to have been a slight joke passed between the two beings as they both chucked together like old friends and colleagues. After a moment, Xander bowed his head once more and then continued on his journey through the Maze.
When the clicking of his walking stick grew distant D and Iana removed themselves and approached Death as a pair of stricken survivors.
"I must say, you don't get manner's like that anymore. He was quite a refreshing change from the typical Tragic-heroes Xander's blot bunnies usually assume."
Iana looked in the direction the Xander had just left by and then in the direction he had come. "Why? What made this Xander so different?"
With an air of non-interest at skull answered the query. "Well for starters, his name wasn't Xander. He called himself Jack."
Iana opened a portal taking them out of the maze and in front of a mountain.
"Okay that was odd," said D (short for dragon_hulk).
"Yeah," said Iana. "Maybe this is a good time to remind everyone of some of the rules, the first of which is not to use other characters without permission, and definitely Don't use their MUSE!"
"Calm down Iana, he probably thought we were characters and it was okay. Were just telling them to bring their own muses and characters or at least contact the author they are borrowing from first."
"I AM NOT A CHARACTER, I AM A MUSE! AUTHORS DON'T CONTROLE US WE CONTROLE THEM!"
"Please don't yell in my ear," said D while trying to sooth his muse.
"And just for the record," spoke Death for the first time. "I'm a Neil Gimans Endless Death. Think perky, petite, Goth girl with hidden depths if you use me in the future. Its D's fault for not specifying it before."
"Hey, I thought that people would remember you from the original Inn story. I was wrong so sue me."
"You shouldn't have said that," said Iana. "This is fanfic if you ask someone to sue you they will and they will probably win."
Just then a herd of layers rose up from the pits of hell, lawsuits in hand. Their steady advance weakened the creative powers of Iana so she couldn't open a gate. Just as they were about to tie D up in red tape and throw him in the poor house they were crushed by a giant green anvil.
"Now about you getting back to working on me," said Emerald Knight.
"The layers may have been preferable," whispered D to Iana.
While the others had left Kitsune Kaydee was passed out drunk behind the bar. Her muse, a little winged Nabiki Tendo, was passed out too. There were lots of sake bottles around the two. A little distance from them Kitsune's perverted father Happosai was passed out too.
In the room a portal formed, and out stepped a catgirl. She looked around and saw the sign 'THE INN. A place for Xander-writing fanfic authors to hang out and relax. Of course, if you show up, expect the version of Xander you wrote to turn up not longer after you do.' and blinked at that.
"What she did the porrrtal bring me herrre forrr?" she asked herself. "I just wanted it to take me wherrre sis is."
Then she blinked and said "Gotta stop rolling my r's. Bad habbit. Now where is sis at?"
She looked around and found Kitsune, little winged muse, and Happosai behind the bar.
She shook her head. "Oh sis, musey, fatherrr. Why must you always do this hmmm. Now I have'ta take you back home and pay the bills." she said in an exaperated tone.
Just as she was about to pick them up and send them home a voice called out "Excuse me miss, could you tell me where on earth I am right now please?"
She looked up, and saw a very handsome young man, wearing a yellow shirt- brown pants which were tied at the legs by some cord- a tiger-striped bandanna- a large backpack- and a large bamboo umbrella.
She blinked a few times in shock, looked at the sign, then the man.
She said "Excuse me, but you wouldn't happen to be Xanderrr Hibiki would you now hmmm?"
The young man looked surpirsed and then said "Why yes, I am him. How did you know that? Have we met before miss?"
She just stared. She drooled slightly. She then said "I'm your fiancee Cute Neko Kaydee, don't you remember me handsome, we are enaged y'know."
Xander stared at the girl before him and said "Fiancee?! What? Where? How? When?"
The two Xanders, one Saiyan one human, walked over to the bar, the only thing remaining from the Inn. Anya, Xander Littica's fiancée, came to him and wrapped herself around him, and kissed him hungrily. "I knew you'd beat him," she told him huskily. Xander grinned, and he and the other Xander, one Warrior X ordered drinks from the bartender, including ones for Dark Slayer Faith, Warrior X's companion, and Anya.
"Damn," Faith muttered taking in both Xanders, and especially Xander Littica appreciatively. She did as a fellow warrior appreciating form, skill, and strength, but also as a woman. Littica looked at her from the corner of her eyes as she grabbed her drink and slammed it down in one go. Anya carefully sipped her cocktail, while the two Xanders took good mouthfuls of their strong beverages. Faith asked for a new drink and got it.
"Whoa," one very different Xander muttered, and everyone looked at what he was commenting at. There was red blur running around, for those who had enough vision to see faster moving objects it was obvious it was another Xander. Wherever the blur was busy, new walls and other parts of the Inn were being built. Sipping from their drinks they watched as the Xander rapidly and steadily rebuilt the Inn over a period of ten minutes. Then Greatest American Xander, GAX for short, slowed down and looked around at a job well done.
"I'm good," GAX commented with satisfaction.
Dragonhulk and his muse entered the Inn at that point, explaining how one could simply wish for something to be there, pass through a newly created door, and one would be there.
"Wh-wh-what!?" GAX muttered with wide eyes. Then he groaned in seeming pain. He dragged himself over to the bar and requested the most powerful stuff the bartender had. He gulped the drink down in one go, and then tears flowed from his eyes and he sank his head on the bar in defeat. "I can't believe thish," he cried, "my shtorie gone, shtuck in twish place, and now oly reasha be here gone. No build, ewewone just point and poof!"
"That guy needs a life," DS-Faith muttered in sympathy.
"More like he needs to get laid," Anya responded and smiled mischievously at Faith. Then she walked over to Littica and dragged him to a table for some privacy.
"Ok, what do you want to talk to me about?" Littica questioned his fiancée, just slightly annoyed, but smiling once he saw the look in her eyes - he knew that look.
Anya's eyes sparkled and she asked, "Remember when you got split up?" Xander answered her positively, nodding his head. "Remember how hot I got at the prospect of sex with two Xanders?" she asked again. Xander Littica nodded remember the following night of almost non-stop sex, suddenly his eyes widened and he looked around the room at all the Xanders. He knew his fiancée, not only would she be damned aroused by now, but he could guess easily what she wanted. "Xander Littica," Anya started her question formally, almost as if asking him to marry her, "will you do me the honor and pleasure of a threesome or more with other Xanders?"
Littica jerked his head back for a moment, and looked at her, thinking it over. He looked around at the different Xanders, and realized this was one hell of an opportunity for the woman he loved. He also realized that if he was going to share his Any with another man, it was best to do it with himself. And Anya had been a trooper lately, she supported him through some rough times where his oldest friend went evil, and another friend seemed the slip into apathy and was still wallowing there. The latter he and the others had tried with some subtlety to open up and / or cheer up, but that was a bust till now. He was almost certain he was going to agree, when Anya added the deal clincher. "If you say 'yes'," Anya said, her eyes twinkling brightly, "we'll have a threesome with another woman or women first."
XL looked at her, astonished for only a moment, and then held out his right hand, saying, "Deal." Anya grinned and shook his hand. Xander then asked, "Any ideas on how to set this up?" Anya looked around thinking. "I've got one," Littica told her grinning wildly. "You go out and find a girl, and I do the same. We get back at this table in twenty minutes tops, find no one we go back out, otherwise; time to find a room."
Anya grinned at him, saying, "Have I mentioned lately I love the way you think?" Xander shook his head. "Well I do, I love the whole package." They gave each other a quick kiss, and then went out on the prowl.
"Whoa! Time out!" Dark Slayer suddenly jumped in, she and Warrior X had been eavesdropping and now kept the two of them from leaving. Not physically stopping them, but gesturing for them to stop and listen to her.
"What is it?" Anya asked, genuinely curious.
"Well first off, I don't care what time it was on your world before you came here," Faith gestured around at the slowly being rebuilt and remodeled Inn, "but for these folks here, it's the equivalent of midnight after having gotten up a little after sunrise. You aren't going to find anybody willing to have a full on orgy. And if there are any, they're gonna pass out after the first or second round. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about."
"She's speaking from experience. I can vouch," Warrior X added with a grin.
"Best bet is to wait until morning. After breakfast so all these Xanders and a few others, myself included," Faith added with an appreciative glance up and down both Littica and his fiancée, "can get a little nourishment for . . . energy purposes."
The couple paused, apparently thinking it over, and then exchanged glances. Littica finally turned back to the Dark Slayer and asked in a polite tone, "Faith, or Dark Slayer, or whichever you prefer, would you do my fiancée and myself the privilege and pleasure of participating in a threesome with us?"
Faith just turned a grin that reminded all there of the 'old' Faith, and answered "Damn straight! Like I'd let you two have all the fun!"
"Hell, I'd join in if somebody asked me," Warrior X put in, giving a pointed look at Anya Littica. "Oh, and on a further note, not only do I have full control of my ki, but I've memorized the kama sutra, but Cordy and I have been rewriting it for ki-users for the past few months."
"You're in!" Anya shouted at him, a hungry, almost wolf-like gleam in her eyes.
"OK," he agreed.
"Now we have our threesome, but it couldn't hurt to go out and ask a couple of the others . . ." Littica started to walk off, but Faith's hand on his chest stopped him from going further.
"Uh, sorry," she apologized at his glare and removed her hand, but then flashed back to the cocky five-by-five Bostonian that she was, "But I'm pretty sure I strongly suggested to you to wait for a little while before making more rounds."
"Oh come on, this is a room full of Xanders, and you expect them to be tired? When you live on the Hellmouth, you get used to late hours. And hello? We are trying to basically start an orgy here Faith."
"Yeah, OK, maybe I need to go back and reword myself a little bit," she held up her hands, giving her enough time to properly word what she was going to say. "OK, let me put it like this. Everybody here just survived a freaking battle that they've never seen before unless some of them can do the same shit you and X just pulled off. As much as I understand the whole 'hungry and horny' thing, this was a freaking battlefield, not near-death on patrol. Not to mention YOU are the one that caused more than half the damage in the battle, and you expect these people, Xanders or other females, to accept whatever you've got to offer, even if it is free sex?"
Warrior X winced. "She's got a point buddy," he said, "I mean think about it. As universally cool as 'we' are, think about how 'we' think, and what do you think their reaction is gonna be when the guy that almost wiped out their place to hang is coming up and offering them participation in an orgy where all of the guys get to fuck Anya, no offense..."
"None taken, that's exactly what they'd be doing," the mentioned forgave.
"... but you'll also be asking whatever girls, of consenting age, here as well to pleasure you alone and participate in lesbian sex with aforementioned Anya. Now unless that woman happens to be part male, lesbian, or at the very least bisexual, like Faith is, you're going to get turned down by just about everybody here."
Littica grumbled, but couldn't deny the logic.
"Then we've got the panicked reactions of 'What if after everybody says no to this guy, he blows up the Inn again'? Then you'll get some very reluctant volunteers, who will be more terrified of pissing you off that they'd never relax enough for sex," Warrior X finished.
"OK then, what do you two suggest, since you've obviously thought about this so much?" Littica demanded of them.
"Exactly what I said earlier," Faith told him. "Wait. Let them get settled enough so as not to still be spooked by you. And wait until after breakfast tomorrow."
"But I want to have sex now!" Anya pouted, crossing her arms.
"Weren't you two asleep in bed when you got here?" Faith suddenly asked.
"Yeah, but how . . . you overheard us when we came in, didn't you?" Littica asked.
Faith nodded, but pointed at the suddenly appearing stairs that led to the rooms upstairs. "Look, finish sleeping, take a little nap, and whether you need it or not big guy," she patted Littica's arms, "get some rest. Because when we pull this off, you are gonna need it." With that, she and Warrior X both walked off towards the Entrance to the Inn.
Once out of even Saiyan hearing distance, Xander asked, "OK, knowing you, you'd fuck anybody, guy, girl, or something in between at the drop of a hat, watching a fight or actually fighting, so what gives?"
"I'm going back to get B and Red," she answered simply.
"What? But... you can only bring Xanders here, or somebody they're close to, or connected with, or by buying a weapon . . . and I couldn't find Buffy or Willow before I left."
"More like when Cordy kicked you in here," Faith corrected. "Look, can you think of anybody more willing to join in with a Saiyan Xander, plus countless others, and join in with a lesbian tryst between me and an Anya than B?"
Xander shrugged and had to admit defeat on that one. "OK, you've got a point there," he admitted, "But how the hell are you going to get them here?"
"Same way I got here," she told him, pulling a device out of her jacket, "Cheat."
Then she pointed it at the door, where a vortex appeared suddenly, which she then ran to and through before it closed suddenly and soundly, like it had never been there at all.
The Evil Guy was sitting with jab21kill, the Weapons Rack keeper, breakfast now over, the room was occupied, but not filled to capacity with Xanders and their guestsauthorsmuses. Of the two-who-were-one author's characters, only X and Dark Times Xander were still there at the table with them.
"So which one of you is going to finish my second chapter?" X demanded to know. "I mean, I am aware that it is being written, and I'm really grateful to you kill-guy for including me on the Slayerettes game board. That's kind of fun. But I would like to move on and forward if you don't mind."
"Yeah, and Evil Guy promised a sequel to Dark Times," Dark Times Xander input, "But after all this time, I'm willing to almost let anyone write that one up."
"Hey, I'm kinda stuck here as a character myself, except for the off hours when no one's writing and I swing over to play Time Wiz . . ." jab21kill trailed off as Evil Guy stared down at him.
"So, this is the place you were hanging out with Faith while Cordy was away?" a too-familiar SoCal voice rang out from the entrance of the Inn.
"Oh %#$%*%!!" jab21kill cursed, burying his face in his hands.
At the entrance to the Inn stood Warrior X, also known as Champions-Xander, and Dark Slayer, also known as Champions-Faith, and between them was a much shorter blonde girl with a ponytail, dressed perfectly identical to them; Gold Slayer, also known as Champions-Buffy, or GS for short.
"Hey guys, over here!" Evil Guy called out. Xander waved back, and despite the weird looks he got from his female companions, he quickly led them over to the table of characters and authors.
"I've got to get back to work," jab21kill suddenly stood up, but not before leaning over to X and urgently whispering, "Keep them under control. I know what all you can do, and Evil Guy knows all of your powers, but while we'd rather keep that secret for a while, please, please, just PLEASE keep them under control!" he begged.
X just tilted her head to the side, and then grudgingly nodded her agreement, and nothing more. jab21kill left just as the three Champions of the Universe joined the table.
"Hey!" GS greeted everyone with an infectious grin, "Waz up!!"
"Waz up!!" X greeted.
"Waz up!!" Evil Guy grinned as he replied in kind.
"Waz up!!" Dark Times Xander nodded back.
"Oh don't start that again," Warrior X grumbled as he took the seat opposite the Evil Guy, Buffy and Faith on either side of him.
Evil Guy grinned, laid back, then gestured to the door. "Let's get some drinks."
"At this time of the morning?" GS-Buffy asked, disbelieving. "Cool. But I'll just get a daiquiris if that's OK."
"Fine by me," DS-Faith agreed, "it's way too early for hard liquor anyway. Not without something bad or embarrassing happening first anyway."
From the stairs came a very well rested Anya and Xander Littica. When the two reached the bottom of the stairs, Anya whispered up into Littica's ear, "Xander, honey, I was frisky last night, and we haven't done anything till now, I'm about ready to tear people's clothes off."
Xander grinned at her and whisper, "Go find a girl, and I'll try the same, same plan as last night, ok?" Anya nodded enthusiastically and went out to into the crowd to go find a hot girl, while Xander did the same.
Xander looked around, saw several women he dismissed outright, most notably those so drunk they were passed out, did a double take when he saw a Buffy that most Xanders were glaring at, and then turned away deciding to go look around some.
Not long after DS-Faith joined him, tapped him on the arm, and said, "Uhm, you two eaten yet?"
"Sure, somewhat of a magical replicator up in the room," Xander answered her gently, smoothly taking in several potentials for Anya and his experiment in group sex.
"Uh, ok, so you looking for more people who want to join in?" Faith asked slightly perturbed at Xander's continued looking around, and yet he didn't seem to be talking to and convincing lots of hot babes and guys.
"More people?" Xander wondered turning around fully to regard the brunette. "I haven't even found one."
"Hey, there's me, Warrior X seems to be game- . . ." Faith started.
"Hold on," Xander interrupted incredulously. "Are you telling me the guy who started a fight with me because I once 'cheated' on Cordy by giving my best friend since kindergarten a kiss, is going to fully cheat on said same Cordy by joining group sex?"
Faith looked up at him, and answered, "Well, I don't know what X and Cordy's understanding is on these things . . . besides, there's Buffy- . . ."
"No Buffy in my bed," Xander told Faith coldly.
"Why not? She's good enough looking, isn't she?" Faith asked him and turned around giving the blonde a quick look.
Xander narrowed her eyes at Faith, and said, "This isn't just about looks, Faith. Buffy and me aren't exactly cozy right now, and trust me when I say, the concept of sex with her is a total turn off right now."
"Ok, ok, I get it big guy, no Buffys in your bed, I guess that means we'll have to look around some more then," Faith said with a pout, which made Xander do a double take. He didn't think he'd ever seen his Faith pout. Faith then pointed at a relatively hot girl, muse or not, she didn't know, and asked, "What about her? Or her? And that blonde-haired Xander is pretty hot."
"Hold on, you think this is going to be a full-on orgy free-for-all?" Xander asked starting to piece things together as well as stuff she'd said last night, when he had just chalked it up to Faith's enjoyment to exaggerate these things.
Faith looked up at him, and said weakly, "Yeah?"
"Uh, uh!" Xander told her, a little annoyed. "Group sex, with me and Anya and one or two girls more and that's it. We don't want this to be some quick fuck, jump to the next, another quick fuck and the next, could be fun, but I might as well masturbate for all the connection I build up, that's a waste of opportunity. Four people at most, and then explore pretty much everything there's to explore with them, passion, emotional connection, their bodies, what they do and don't like and hot deeply satisfying sex, ok?"
"Ok," Faith said chastised, once again her hyperactive sex drive had gotten her into trouble, not to mention the whole 'quick fuck' versus 'fantastic, hot sex' idea. She thought she had gotten past that. She looked suddenly quite forlorn and looked up at Littica, especially when she slowly started to realize she might not be the person he'd be looking for either.
The Saiyan looked down at her, seeing Faith. Was it bad to consider the double of your legal daughter sexy? Not to mention that wounded look of someone who realized she'd be going around things the wrong way, and probably screwed something up. Ah, hell, he'd lost his virginity to his legal daughter long before she was his, starting to get sanctimonious now wouldn't become him. Plus, Anya had been heavily into Faith, and it seemed this Faith could still learn a lot about proper sexual enjoyment. So decided, he asked, "Faith, would you do me and Anya the honor of joining our little experiment into group sex?"
Faith lit up, and then her face got a horny grin on her, and she said, "Oh, yes, Gold Toy." Xander smiled and wrapped her arm around her waist taking her along to the agreed meeting place.
"I think I'm gonna mingle," GS-Buffy told her friends, as she flickered her gaze around the room. So many Xanders, so many best friends she could talk to and find out their experiences . . . this could be a lot of fun. Buffy disengaged herself from Warrior X and the other characters belonging to Joshua, and casually mozied on over to the bar. After getting a re-fill for her relatively weak drink, she placed herself on a stool next to a good looking and smoothly muscled Xander from what she could make out despite his clothes hiding most of what he had. "Hi, I'm Buffy, but you probably know that," she said, smiling brightly.
The Xander turned his head, narrowed his eyes, and said, "Get lost."
Buffy smile faltered instantly, and said sarcastically, "Hey, that could be more polite."
The Xander grinned at her, and she noticed the cold hatred lying in his eyes, "Ok. Get lost, bitch."
Buffy's jaw clinched and squinted her eyes, glaring at the man that had spoken with her. What could possibly have happened to make a Xander hate a Buffy, and not a quick upset and angry at a bone headed decision, but unrelenting hate? She could actually feel the nearly overwhelming animosity and frustration, not the good sexual kind either, building up in him, but directed solely at her. Finally she turned away from him, and looked up into another Xander, equal animosity radiated from his eyes. *Another one? Did I accidentally join the bar reserved for 'Buffy haters anonymous' or something?* she thought in shock.
"Say," the Xander she was looking at said, his eyes narrowing in cold anger, "I thought Buffys were FORBIDDEN in this place!" Buffy cocked an eyebrow as she noticed a lot of Xanders suddenly turn around at his outburst, and they aimed their gazes quickly at GS-Buffy.
"They are?" the Xander she spoke to first said with relish, and turned to regard her, and she slid off the stool readying to avoid them, as emotional pain lashed through her body. It hurt severely to know so many Xanders did not like her at all, and with some that was an understatement.
*Xander?* GS contacted her own Xander via their telepathic connection she maintained.
*Uh, yeah Buff?* he asked, nervous.
*411. NOW!* she demanded of him.
Instantly, all of Xander's experiences and knowledge regarding the Inn was copied and downloaded into Buffy's own mind, and she suddenly understood a whole lot more as she very subtly reached around with her psionic powers at the ones that had been glaring hatefully at her. Gods, how she hated 80% of her doubles!
"Can I just clear one thing up before you guys try and throw me out?" she asked of the one that had announced how it was forbidden she be here.
Snorting in derision, but giving his non-verbal permission, Buffy nodded at him and then stood up, turning to face the majority of the crowd that wanted her gone and then stood up on her stool so they could see her better.
"First I need some questions answered," she told them. "OK, how many Xanders here dusted their own Angels? Now don't give me 'what the hell' looks, you know what I mean, so lets see a show of hands." Maybe five or six people raised their arms.
"OK, now how many Buffys does everyone here know that could actually dust Angelus?" she said loud enough for everyone to here. Immediately, at their table, Warrior X's hand flew up, and very much reluctant, a surprising number of others hands went up. Maybe three more besides Warrior X's.
Frowning, her shoulders slumped some, GS-Buffy sighed and asked a final question, "OK, now how many Buffys are there that you know that really, really, really, REALLY LOVE just *RIPPING* into Spike the vampire? And I mean she enjoys fighting with him, but gets real satisfaction from tearing him apart, dust particle by dust particle!!"
Everyone just kind of stared, in a stunned silence, because Buffy hadn't just asked the question, she had been grinding her fists, and when talking about tearing Spike apart, her face had lit up in a very demented sort of glee. Now that she was done, looking embarrassed, she schooled her features and waited for the answer. She didn't expect the one she got.
"No, but she enjoys fucking him," one Xander from the back shouted.
Buffy stared back at him, then paled dangerously before she suddenly convulsed. She did it again and those closest to her realized that she was about to puke and looked sicker than a dog.
"Oh Goddess! I'm going to be sick!" she exclaimed and just in time the Bartender handed her a bucket marked 'Puke Pail'. After she was done with it, the Bartender sat it back down next to an identical bucket marked 'Tobacco Tin'. Buffy then demanded a strong tasting drink, and she used it to wash the foul taste out of her mouth.
"Don't even joke about something that sick, you demented spaz!!" she shouted at the guy that had suggested the whole Spuffy thing. "THAT is what's forbidden, and not by the rules of this place . . ." she left a lengthy pause, and then powered up enough for her hair to become charged enough to fly out of its ponytail, a golden flame highlighted with arcs of yellow lightning, and the environmental effect of blowing everything away with hurricane force gales and leaving a pretty intimidating picture as she finished her sentence, ". . . but it is forbidden because of what I'll do to the next person that so much as implies ANYTHING like that between me and . . . and . . . *Spike*!! Everybody GOT THAT!!"
Immediately there was a hasty scrambling as everyone agreed to never so much as mention a Spuffy thing ever again. More than half the people there were smart enough to know to never piss a Buffy off the way this one was over even the mention of the vampire. With the exception of one, who was made of sterner stuff it seemed.
"As much as I wished I was, I was not joking," the Xander that had shouted earlier, called out with a very serious tone.
Buffy glared at him, but he glared back. Buffy slumped her shoulders, her energy disappearing, and saying, "Sorry, I guess . . ."
"Where was I?" she asked the Xander next to her, she had been speaking with.
Gulping nervously, he shifted his collar a bit, even though it was a t-shirt, and told her, "Uh, you wanted to clear something up before we tried to throw you out."
"Oh," she said quietly, then her face brightened as she recalled what her point had been, "Oh! OK, yeah, my point is that I'm not your typical Buffy. For one thing, Angel was only my boyfriend for like three months before I broke up with him. I have personally dusted at least five Angelus's, really enjoyed dusting a very many Spikes, and my favorite hobby is continuously dusting over and over the Spike of my own universe. Long story, don't ask unless you wanna hear the long version. Oh, last major difference, I'm gay. Not bisexual, not experimenting, not under a love spell . . . anymore. I am totally and completely 100%, butch, dyke, lesbian gay. However, I do occasionally drive stick as Faith usually puts it."
"Any questions?" she asked.
"Not a question, but a point," the other Xander next to her said. "You're bi, you may like women more, but if you were truly 100% gay the mere thought of 'driving stick' as you put it would induce the same reaction as you with . . . you know who."
Buffy shook her head at the Xander in question, and spoke before he could argue back. "Hello, I DO have a vagina! And I'm not the only lesbian in the omniverse that uses a dildo. Just because, on occasion I stress, I take that when it's attached to a living human does not mean I like having sex with men. For one thing, men get soft after they squirt a really annoying and ugly mess up my butt, or my ass, or any other body part I feel like pleasuring that night."
"Are you sure you're not actually an Anya?" one Xander called out.
Buffy rolled her eyes and snorted. "I don't have an Anya in my universe, wanna guess why? Anyway, my counter point to your assumed point, I am a lesbian because I am in no way, form, or fashion in the least sexually or romantically drawn to the male penis, or the rest of the male physique. On the other hand, I am sexually inclined towards these," she grabbed her own breasts and mauled them for a bit, "and I'm actually sort of a leg-person, so I like women in high heels and skirts too. I see a babe walking down the street, I'm the one doing the wolf-whistle."
"I've got a question," another Xander called out, after Buffy had finished making her point. "Just because you hate vampires, and love women, doesn't mean you're automatically any less of a holier than though, I know best always, do as I say bitch. So are you? And if not, why should we take you at your word?"
Buffy blinked, rather surprised, and seeing into the other parts of what Warrior X had shown her. She had latched too much on the horrific necrophilia part to take in the rest before. "Uhm," she muttered and than looked over at Warrior X, who smiled mischievously at her. Oh, he and Faith were going to pay later for this, 'come along Buffy, lots of Xanders, an orgy - that she wasn't allowed to join it seemed, and she couldn't really blame the Xander, she wouldn't want to have anything sexual to do with a necrophiliac bitch in her bed either, even if it wasn't strictly speaking 'her' - you'll have lots of fun', they had dragged her along purely for the amusement of watching her deal with this.