The Letter X

Author: Lone Templar <eric_prenovost[at]>

Disclaimer: We all know who really owns these characters.

Spoilers: Helloween

Pairings: Undecided

Rating: R for naughty language and adult situations

Feedback: Bring it on!

Summary: What if Xander dressed as something different instead of a soldier for Helloween?

Notes: This is in response to the Give-Xander-A-Power-That-Let's-Him-Rearrange-Matter Challenge.

Chapter 1

Xander glanced over at Buffy and Willow. Both of them were happy, gushing over some period dress that was on display while the owner of the costume shop tried to close the deal. He looked at the dress and had to admit, it would look awesome on the blonde. Of course, he snorted quietly, it wasn't him that she wanted to wear it for. No, she wanted to impress some corpse! Man, that left a foul taste in his mouth!

Looking away from the animated trio, he silently admired the different costumes that were hanging on the various racks. If he weren't limited to a budget of two dollars, he would have a plethora of choices. Instead, he was going to wear some old fatigues that belonged to a relative that he had never met. Uncle something or other had died in Vietnam, long before Xander had even been born. Now all he had to do was to find an accessory or something so that he didn't look like a complete idiot later on that night.

"Can I help you with something?" The British voice sounded from behind him. The suddenness of the sound ripped a gasp from the young man's throat and he spun around to see the proprietor standing patiently. Well, the amused look on his face didn't do anything to the Brit's reputation of being unflappable, the boy decided.

"Yeah… uh… I'm going to be wearing some… Army fatigues and I… uh… need something to… ah… set it off." He mumbled, avoiding the proprietor's eyes in embarrassment.

"I see." The older man said, narrowing his eyes and placing a finger across his lips while in thought. A quick glance around showed the man that the store was all but deserted of customers. Looking over at a hanging clock, the British man decided to do something interesting before he closed and locked the front door of the store for the day. A quick smile, one that made the young man fidget nervously, and a decision was reached. "Perhaps we can work out a deal?" He told the brunette with a sleazy smile.

Xander swallowed and took a step back. "Look, I don't know what rumor's you guys keep telling about us where you're from, but I'm NOT that type of guy!" He informed the older man, raising his hands in warning.

Ethan rolled his eyes in disgust. "No, you silly twit! I meant that due to the late hour I was unlikely to make another sale. In that situation, I would be willing to sell you a costume at a distinct discount in order to close the shop early!"

"Oh… um… sorry about that." The youth murmured, blushing bright red. "It just sounded like… well, you know." He said, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.

"Good Lord!" The older man huffed, crossing his arms and staring at the younger man. "Well, let's get on with it. What telly show do you care for?" He asked, arching an eyebrow in disdain.

"Well, I really like Babylon 5." Xander replied, his eyes seeking for the costumes in question. Not seeing them, he turned his attention back to the storeowner.

"I don't believe that I'm familiar with that one." Ethan admitted, scratching his neck. "Perhaps another?" He pursed his lips in thought.

"Um… well… just about any sci-fi will do." The brunette admitted sheepishly. "I probably watch them all."

"Science fiction? If I remember correctly, all of those are located in that corner over there." The British man stated calmly, pointing towards the back of the store.

Xander nodded his thanks and hurried over to where he had been directed. He couldn't fail to notice that the proprietor had followed him silently, sending shivers racing up and down his spine. Examining the rack quickly, he snatched an outfit almost at random and spun around to find the older man barely a foot away. "Er, this'll do fine." The youth said quickly.

Ethan raised an eyebrow as he peered at the costume hanging limply from the boy's hand. He was hesitant, wondering if the idea could possibly be pulled off in the ritual later. Shrugging internally, he refused to worry about it. After all, Janus was a God! Surely, He could loan enough power to make the costume a reality like the rest. "Very well." Ethan smiled brightly. "That will be one dollar if you will."

A quick handoff and Xander found himself standing on the sidewalk outside the store, hearing the latch being thrown and clutching his costume in his sweating hands. 'That was… weird.' He frowned, looking back over his shoulder to see the blinds being drawn quickly over the window in the door. Shaking his head, he hurried home to change before it became too late.


Ethan looked carefully around the office in the back of the store. He had set everything up just right to perform the ritual and he was eager to begin. Hurrying around the room, he quickly lit the various candles and turned off the electric lights. He was almost giddy with excitement as he settled himself down into a comfortable position and picked up the knife lying on top of a small wooden bowl.


Buffy opened the front door to her home to see Xander smiling shyly back. She quickly swept her eyes up and down his body, surprised to see the muscle mass that he had built up through the almost skin tight outfit. "Xander? What are you supposed to be?" She said with a soft chuckle.

Meanwhile, his eyes swept over her form hungrily. 'She looks perfect.' His mind whispered. "Buffy! The Duchess of Buffdom! I hereby swear off spandex forever!" He declared loudly, much to the amusement of the Slayer and her mother.

"Thank you, my lord." Buffy returned, curtsying slightly. "But if you think I look good, you ought to see Willow. She's dressed up as… " The blonde stopped talking as the sound of someone coming down the stairs made itself known to her enhanced hearing. Turning, she saw the redhead with a sheet draped over her body. "… Casper." She finished quietly.

"That's a real nice… uh… boo… you got there, Wills." The brunette told the shy girl with a comforting smile.

"I… I thought… um… that I'd go with… well, traditional." Willow replied shyly, her eyes tracing the curves that she could see on her best friends body. She was extremely grateful that the sheet was hiding the furious blush that seemed to cover her entire body.

"Well, shall we go, ladies?" Xander returned, waving one hand towards the door. "Time is wasting and there's loot to grab!"


Ethan sliced the palm of his hand and let his blood drip into the wooden bowl held snugly in his lap. As soon as the first drop landed, he began to chant, building the link he needed to Janus for the spell that he wanted to cast.


Janus lifted his head at the pleading coming from one of his servants. Reading the castor's mind, the God laughed loudly, fully approving of the plan. He granted the link to his essence so that his servant could spread chaos on this night.


Ethan flicked a lighter and set the mixture of herbs, blood, and several different powders within the bowl on fire. He finished his chant and quickly turned his head to see the bust of Janus glowing a bright white.

The British chaos mage threw his head back and laughed as loudly as he could. "You're going to have a fun time tonight, Ripper!" He yelled, pumping his fist in victory.


Willow felt the wave of power sweep over her and watched in horror as her covering sheet fell THROUGH her body to land on the ground. Spinning around, she saw her legs, clad in a distinctive sluttish costume, sticking out of the sheet. Gulping in panic, she tried to grasp the sheet only to have her hand pass right through it.

"Oh, God." She whispered in horror.

Buffy blinked several times before raising a hand to her forehead. "Where am I?" She whispered quietly, staring around at her surroundings. Everything was so strange. She could feel the fear building when she recognized the fact that nothing was familiar. A horrified whisper from behind her caused her to whip around. Before her was a woman of extremely loose morals staring at a body lying on the ground, covered in a sheet.

"Pardon me, but could you tell me where I am?" She asked with an imperious tone to her voice, lifting her nose into the air.

Xander felt a wave of dizziness sweep through him and he collapsed to his knees. At first, he felt the power start to fade, but then it roared through his body like a tidal wave. The pain was more than he had ever dreamed of before in his life. Throwing his head back, he screamed as loudly as he could until his lungs ran out of air.

Willow and Buffy spun around to see the Brunette on his knees, screaming in pain.

"Xander!" The redhead screamed in fear, rushing to his side only to have her hands disappear into his flesh. The blonde just watched, a fist shoved against her mouth in terror.


Ethan stopped laughing when the bust of his god began to glow more than it should. The light coming off the statue was almost blinding in its intensity.

"What?" He muttered, turning his head away and squeezing his eyes tightly shut. He could feel heat radiating off the bust that rivaled the light. Feeling his skin start to blister from the heat, he screamed in agony.

Then he felt the very clothes on his back burst into flame.


Janus yelled through the pain, but it didn't stop. He could feel his essence being ripped from his body. Because the link was established with his consent, he couldn't shut it off. All he could do was to scream in horror and pain.


The two girls felt the power being pulled from their bodies in an instant. Buffy blinked her eyes, momentarily confused by the overlaying of someone else's memory being overlaid atop her own. Shaking her head to clear it, her attention snapped past the sheet lying flat on the ground to her best female friend. She watched Willow climb to her feet shakily, making sure that she was all right.

Xander drew another lungful of air into his body. The pain was indescribable. It was beyond what he had ever thought pain could be. Opening his mouth back up, he screamed again.


Janus was close to panic and not thinking clearly while dealing with the pain. Sending a mental call out for help, he was soon surrounded by five other Gods and Goddesses.

"Help me!" He hissed, feeling even more of his essence being siphoned off. Without a word, the others latched onto him and feed him their strength.

Now all six were screaming in pain, unable to shut off the voluntary link.


Xander's body was glowing softly, the colors of the light changing almost too fast to be recognized. His yelling had tapered off due to the fact that his throat had been torn apart by the sheer force of his screams The two girls watched with horrified expressions as the brunette's body lifted from the ground and floated in mid-air. Slowly, Xander began to spin but it quickly built up speed.

Willow watched, hugging herself as tears streamed down her face. She had tried to approach her friend, but the heat had prevented her from closing the distance. She heard the blonde break out in choking sobs, but she didn't turn her face away.

She screamed in emotional agony as Xander's costume burst into flame. The smell of scorched flesh and burnt air reached her nose. Closing her eyes, she spun around and bent over, vomiting harshly in the night. She could still hear the whimpers coming from her best friend as her stomach rebelled once again.


All six God's were in agony. Never before had anything like this ever been done. It was the smallest of them all that was the first to expire, his body simply disappearing out of existence as the last of his essence was sent through the link. He didn't even have time to scream his last words out to his fellow Gods.


Buffy watched, frozen in place as the smells washed over her body. The sight of the flames whipping around as the body of her friend spun in mid-air was just too horrifying for her mind to grasp.

She could hear Willow puking her guts up, but her mind refused to allow her any motion at all. All she could do was stand there and watch, the scene being burned forever in her mind.


One by one, the other God's blinked out of existence until Janus was once again alone. He could feel the last of his essence being sucked out and had time to scream one last curse before he was no more.


Ethan's body had long since been burned black by the heat coming off the bust of his god. His blackened skin would have sickened anyone who saw it, but there was none to see. The very walls of the room were playing host to a cornucopia of dancing flames. The bust flashed one last time and exploded. The power of the explosion was enough to level the entire building. The shockwave shattered windows over eight blocks away. All that was left to bear witness to Ethan's grand plan was the concrete base that the building had sat on. Everything else was gone.


Xander's body quit spinning and settled down to the street. The two girls rushed to his nude side, so concerned that they didn't even notice the state of his clothes.

Willow let out a gasp as the blackened skin was reabsorbed back into his body and replaced by new. She looked at his head and saw that his hair was growing out at a rate of an inch a second.

"This isn't possible." Buffy muttered, backing away to gain some distance. Willow ignored her and continued to hold her friends hand.

A flash of light blocked their view of his body for a split second. When they could see again, Xander was standing on his feet, dressed in the same uniform that he had been wearing earlier.

"Xander?" Willow whispered, her eyes glued to his face as she rose to her feet.

He smiled back at her. "Not quite." He told her, moving his head around to observe his surroundings. "No, this will never do." He muttered, raising his hand and clicking his fingers. All three friends disappeared in a burst of white light.


Giles had just settled down to do some research when the sound of an explosion rattled the windows of the library. Walking towards them, he was startled when a flash of light went off behind him. Spinning around, he saw his charge and her two friends now standing in the room.

He noticed that Buffy and Willow were 'wigging' out while Xander just smiled that lop-sided smirk of his and walked over to the table. Withdrawing a chair, he settled down, propping his feet up on the table surface.

"Why doesn't everyone take a seat?" The brunette asked, buffing his nails against his uniform shirt. Examining them closely, he smiled when he saw how perfect they were.

"Xander, are you okay? What happened?" Willow asked quietly, walking slowly to stand in front of him. When he met her eyes, she threw herself into his arms and broke into tears. "Oh, God! I've never been so scared in my life! I thought that you were gonna die and leave me all alone!" The little redhead sobbed into his shirt.

"Buffy?" The Watcher asked quietly, turning his attention to the Slayer. "Do you want to tell me what's going on?" He was stunned when her frightened eyes locked onto his and she shook her head slowly.

"Why don't we listen to a story, Rupert?" Xander said, rubbing the redhead's back gently. "How about we start with a chaos mage named… Ethan?" He finished in a cold voice, his brown eyes flashing angrily.

"Ethan? He was here?" Giles sputtered, walking quickly over to the table.

"Well, not anymore. His latest spell fried him." Xander grinned smugly. "He was going to turn everyone into their costume's tonight and laugh at the chaos. Fortunately for me, he was a colossal idiot." The youth's broad grin did nothing to lighten the tension in the room.

"What's up with the white light flashing thingy?" Buffy asked, drawing a deep breath and calmly reaching for a stake that she had stuffed into her purse.

"You mean this?" Xander asked with an innocent tone. He clicked his fingers and Buffy's stake was now in his hand. He smiled at her, twirling the wooden object in the air and catching it.

The Slayer cursed when her hand encountered the empty spot in her purse which was where her stake was supposed to be.

"Good, Lord!" Giles muttered, sinking down into a spare chair.

"Well, I wouldn't exactly call myself good." The brunette mused with a smile. "How would you like to have all the vampires gone?"

"Pardon me?" Giles stuttered, his eyes wider than anyone could remember seeing before.

"Xander?" Willow whispered. "I don't feel so good. I'm kinda tired right now, too." She squeezed him harder for a second. "I'm glad you're okay now."

The youth smiled down at her collapsed body and clicked his fingers one more time. A bright light blinded the others. When it dissipated, the young redhead was gone.

"Xander?" Buffy asked, her eyes frightened and wild as they swept back and forth searching for her friend. "Where'd Willow go?"

"I just put her to bed, Buff." He responded casually, buffing the nails on his other hand for a change.

"You… put her to bed?" The Slayer asked, locking onto his form. She shot a glance at her Watcher for advice, but he was as stunned as she was.

"Yep. Just snapped my fingers and away she goes!" Xander exclaimed happily. "So. About those vampires… you want them gone or what?"

"Yes, please." The Watcher whispered so quietly that only the boy had heard him.

"Not a problem." The dark haired youth grinned and snapped his fingers once again. Another bright white light blinded the Slayer and her Watcher, but this time the blonde gasped at the sheer power that her Slayer senses could detect. It spilled out of the room at the speed of light, so strong that it almost knocked her out. Her skin felt like it was trying to creep off her body.

"What the hell was that?" The girl demanded, sinking to her knees from the display of power.

"Hey, it's what you wanted, babe. Poof. No more vampires." Xander replied, leaning back and lacing the fingers of his hands behind his head. "Anything else I can do for you? Whatever it is, I need to hurry up. I'm dedicating a church to me in a couple of hours." He told them casually.

"What's wrong with you?" Buffy screamed, not understanding anything since this horrible thing started.

"If I may, how did this happen?" Giles asked politely, waving a hand at the Slayer in an effort to quiet her down.

"Ethan formed a link with his chaos god that couldn't be shut down. Five others latched on trying to free Janus from the spell, but they got sucked into it also." The boy explained glibly. "Anything else?"

"What were you dressed as?" The Watcher asked quietly.

"Heh. Believe it or not, your dear friend Ethan dressed me up as Q from Star Trek." Xander smiled. "The costume required so much power to turn into reality that it drained six different gods. Fun times for all!" He smirked at the older man.

"Oh, my." Giles breathed heavily. "That means that you're a… "

"A God? Yep, sure am." Xander nodded happily.

"Xander? A God?" Buffy laughed out loud. "Please!"

She didn't notice the narrowing of his eyes, but she sure noticed that annoying white light. When she could blink the spots out of her eyes, she looked down and found herself wearing… nothing. Her arms lashed themselves into place to cover her vital areas while she shrieked in panic. Another flash of light and the Slayer was no longer in the room.

"Where did you send her?" Giles asked angrily.

Xander looked surprised. "I sent her home, of course. What? You think that that would tempt a God? Please! Tell her she needs to put on some weight!" He scoffed before snapping his fingers and disappearing.

Chapter 2

Buffy found herself standing in her living room, still nude. What stunned her, though, was the fact that Angel was standing in front of her. He looked confused, an expression that was mirrored in the blonde.

"Angel?" She whispered, shaking her head and trying to clear it of her confusion. "Why do you feel… different?"

"I… don't know." He replied, his eyes sweeping her nude form in admiration. "I was sitting at home one second and I'm here the next." A loud growl came from his body, interrupting his speech. "What was that?" He asked, looking down at his stomach.

"It sounded like a… growl." Buffy said, lifting his shirt up to see his abs. When her fingers touched his skin, she gasped in amazement. "You're warm!" She uttered, meeting his eyes with her own.

"But I'm a vampire." He protested.

"Oh, my God! He did it! Xander actually did it!" Buffy muttered, running her hands across his abdomen and relishing the feeling of warmth. "You're human now."

Just then, the front door opened to allow Joyce Summers, the mother of the Slayer, to enter her home. Her eyes took in her daughter's nude form standing close to an older man. "What in the hell are you doing with my daughter?" She screamed, rushing over and ripping the blonde out of his grasp. "Buffy, go to your room!" She yelled angrily. Turning back towards the man, she enjoyed the way he flinched when her snapping gaze fell on him. "You pervert! You're almost thirty years old and you're seducing a child?" She screeched, slapping the man hard enough to send him reeling to the floor. "If I even HEAR about you being around my daughter again, I'm calling the police! Now get out!"

"Mom! You don't understand!" Her daughter screamed from her position on the stairs.

"I understand that you were about to have sex with an older man!" Joyce snapped back, not taking her glare off the former vampire. "You're grounded, young lady!"

"But… " Angel stuttered, not knowing how to take the situation. "We're in love with each other."

"Get the hell out of my house, you God damned pedophile!" Mrs. Summers screamed. "I'm filing a restraining order on your perverted ass first thing in the morning! You just better count yourself lucky that nothing actually happened yet, or I'd make sure you rot behind bars for statutory rape!"

"Mom, it isn't like that!" Buffy protested, not sure about what to do.

"You want to be a tramp, Buffy?" Her mother snapped out. "Letting older men seduce you will turn you into one quicker than any other way. I REFUSE to allow my daughter to become something like that horrid secretary of your father's." She turned back to face a stunned Angel. "Get out, pervert!"

Without another word, the formally souled vampire turned and left the Summer's residence. Only when the door had been firmly closed, did Joyce move to turn the deadbolt. Then she turned her attention back to her daughter. "If you EVER see him again, I'm going to send you to boarding school. Do you understand me?" She hissed.

Buffy felt the tears start to fall from her face, but she couldn't fight her mother. She knew that if she did, she would find herself either out on the street or being packed up to go to another school somewhere else in the world. So she did the only thing she could: she nodded her surrender.


Rupert Giles calmly picked up the phone and dialed a number from memory. His heart rate was strangely calm for what he had just witnessed. When the line was picked up on the other end, he began to speak.

"This is Rupert Giles. I'm the Watcher for the Slayer on the Hellmouth."

"Go ahead, Mr. Giles."

"I'm trying to confirm a miracle. Well, I think it's a miracle, but I'm not sure." Giles stuttered.

"Does this have anything to do with the disappearing vampires, Mr. Giles?"

"Yes, it does. Can you tell me what happened?" Giles asked, completely surprised by the question.

"All the vampires in the Council dungeon are dead. Approximately an hour ago, they just burst into dust. We haven't found a reason for it yet."

"Ah, yes. Well, perhaps I can shed some light on the subject." Giles muttered. "I need to report the ascension of a new God. A young man, Alexander Harris, has become a higher being. His first miracle was to fulfill my request to get rid of all the vampires."


"Yes, I felt the same way, I assure you." Giles sighed. "I am not aware of the full extent of his power, but it drained six of them to empower the young man. Somehow, Ethan Rayne was behind this, but I'm still a little fuzzy on the details."

"Dear God."

"I will try to speak with him tomorrow when he opens his new… church." Giles reported, closing his eyes. "Hopefully, I'll be able to call you tomorrow. If not, you'll have to send a new Watcher for my Slayer."

"Very well, Mr. Giles. I'll pass on this information to the Council."

"Thank you." Giles stated calmly before hanging up the phone. Walking over to the window, he was amazed at how light the night was. The absence of vampires made the night a happier place. "Perhaps I can ask him about demons on the morrow." He muttered thoughtfully. Breaking into a smile, he turned to go home. For the first time, he wasn't worried about being attacked by a demon on his way home.


A bright flash of light woke up the sleeping redhead. Holding back a scream, she sat up in bed and saw her best friend reclining at the foot of her bed, his head propped up on one arm.

"Hiya, Wills." He said happily, his warm brown eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Are you okay, Xander?" The shy girl asked. She was worried by everything that had happened to him.

"How would you like to be a… " He frowned for a second. "Well, can't call me a Q cause they don't exist. Besides, I don't want to be a fictional character. How about… " He cut off his musing to smile at the girl merrily. "How would you like to be an X?" He asked her.

"What's an X?" She asked, clearly puzzled.

"It's sort of like a Q, but real." He replied.

"Xander, what's going on with you?" She asked softly, not ignoring his question but putting it off for the moment.

"I'm a God, Wills. I just came down here to make you an offer because, well, you're my friend." He smiled at her and was delighted to see her smile back. "Plus, I read your mind and saw how much you wanted to have sex with me." He smirked at her.

Willow's smile vanished completely. First, her face paled and then it turned bright red. "Xander! I'm going to kill you!" She screamed, pulling the sheet over her head in embarrassment.

The new God simply waved his hand and watched her scream and roll over as both her sheets and her pajama's disappeared. "Nice butt, Wills." He complimented her.

Willow felt like she wanted to cry. "Why are you doing this to me?" She said, hiding her face in the bed.

"Well, I don't want to get bored, so I'm looking for a wife." He returned. "I need someone to keep me from going overboard with my powers. The first person I thought of was you, so here I am. You are everything I need to keep my immortal life exciting."

"What about Buffy?" Willow asked. She was startled when he burst into laughter.

"Why does everyone think I want her so badly? Sure, she has a nice body, but her mind is cabbage." He smiled at her. "Would you like to go through eternity with Cordelia at your side?"

"Okay, I can see your point." Willow admitted. "So how would we do this? I'm still mortal you know."

"Not a problem, Wills." He smirked at her and snapped his fingers.


They reappeared on a vast, featureless, white plain. Before them stood a woman, but it was impossible to distinguish her features. She appeared both timeless and depressed.

"Willow, this is Aphrodite. Aphrodite, Willow." Xander said, waving a hand back and forth between them.

"Um, hi." Willow waved her fingers at the other woman nervously. The woman simply nodded back.

"Aphrodite wants to end her eternal existence due to a personal problem, but she doesn't want to die. So what I want to do is have her switch places with you." Xander explained calmly. "Willow gets to be a Goddess while Aphrodite gets to experience life as a mortal. Everyone's happy." He chortled.

Willow glanced at the other woman to see her nod her head. "Okay, how do we do this?" She asked.

"Just shake hands with her, Will." The new God told her. "Everything's automatic." He watched as the two females reached out and grasped each other's hands. A bright flash of light marked the exchange of power, and he couldn't help but let out a whoop of victory.

"Oh, my." Willow said, experiencing the awesome ability of a Goddess at full power. Everything was so… clear. She turned her attention to her husband to be and was amazed at how much more powerful he was.

"So… do you want to be my wife?" He asked, holding a hand out to her.

"Of course." She smiled back at him. Without a shred of doubt, she laid her hand in his. Another burst of light marked the sealing of their vows. They were now God and Goddess.


Giles stared in amazement at the marble building that was standing next to the city hall. It was easily ten stories tall and took up an entire city block. He shook his head with despair when he saw the sign hanging above the entrance. "Temple of Xander the Absolutely- Positively-Super-Magnificent indeed." He muttered, walking up the marble steps to the absolutely huge doors. As he lifted his hand to knock on the wooden monstrosities that were the thirty-foot wooden doors, he was suddenly whisked away.

When his surroundings became clear, he saw a huge throne with Xander perched casually atop it. One of his legs was thrown over the arm and he was firmly wedged into the corner of the golden throne. On his lap was Willow, calmly feeding him grapes.

"G-Man! Glad you could make it! Did you like your present?" The youth smiled mischiefly at him.

"What is the meaning of this?" Giles asked angrily, pointing a shaking finger at the redhead.

"What? I'm not allowed any slaves?" The dark haired youth replied, his face scrunched up innocence.

"Slave?" Rupert sputtered, his eyes impossibly wide. His rant died before it could begin when both Xander and Willow cracked up in laughter.

"Oh, I want to keep him around, Wills! He's so funny!" He sputtered.

"Tell me about it." She chuckled, her warm eyes viewing the stewing man. "We could make him head of the priesthood." She remarked thoughtfully. "That way we'd be free to go wherever we wanted without having to worry about the Hellmouth."

"Good idea, Wills." He returned, giving her a kiss on her cheek as a reward. Turning towards the embarrassed man, his grin got bigger. "How about it, G-Man? You want to be an immortal priest?"

"So I can be what? The Most High Chief Priest to Xander the Absolutely-Positively-Super-Magnificent?" He asked sarcastically. "I don't think so."

"Well, you'd be able to bring your lovely bride with you of course." Willow remarked.

"Excuse me?" Rupert blinked rapidly. "I do not have a bride."

"Not yet." Willow's eyes twinkled at him. "But you will. I'm sure you'll be very happy with Jenny."

"Jenny? You mean Miss Calendar?" Xander asked in surprise. "You go, G- Man!"

"Yes, well, it's no business of yours." Giles snapped back.

"Of course it's my business, Giles." Willow replied calmly. A split second later, she was standing in front of him. "I'm Willow, the Goddess of Love." She smiled serenely.

"You… you… oh, my." Rupert sputtered in shock before unconsciousness stole over him.

"Was it something I said?" Willow turned to face her laughing husband.


So it came to pass.

The two divine beings watched over the small California town as time went by. Of course, they didn't actually spend that much time there. They only showed up when their Priest or Priestess called upon them. Instead, they wandered the world in search of adventure.

But that's a tale for another time.

The End?