"Alright, then, I'll just come out and say it," he paused dramatically.
"I'll be the happiest man in Sunnydale in about four months, which is when Buffy Summers has agreed to become my wife," David smiled and nuzzled Buffy's neck, who smiled graciously as the audience hooted and clapped.
Feeling her heartbeat quicken, her eyes quickly shot to Angel's nearly naked body, then to her state. Her eyes locked with Angel who merely leaned against the head post, watching her with a placid expression.
He didn't want to hide it. She could see it in his eyes. Cordelia closed her eyes for a brief second before turning to Xander.
He was frozen stiff; his eyes kept opening and closing, like maybe if he closed his eyes one more time what he was seeing would disappear.
For a moment his face was blank, then realization dawned, and he became livid.
Cordelia felt a lump grow large in her throat. Seconds ticked past as she tried to still her beating heart, her growing panic, her torn heart at loving Angel and knowing what that meant, of always having known what that meant. "Xander-"
"Can't you see what you're doing?" he hissed, backing away from the door. He looked furious, and when she tried to touch him, he jerked away as if electrocuted. Shooting a murderous glance at Angel, he whirled from the room.
"So…. I should probably put something on." Angel said quickly.
Buffy moved quickly, stopping him with an arm.
"Actually, Angel, I just… I need to say something, so it'd be easier if you just let me say it."
He gave her a concerned look. "All right."
She bit her lip, and continued.
"I know about you and Cordelia."
Angel nodded, feeling himself back away from her. "Okay."
Buffy closed her eyes, and swallowed. "I'm fine with it… really. I think. Oh, God."
Angel cocked his head unsure of what to do. Finally he sighed, coming forward, "Buffy."
"No." She held her arm out in front of her, warding him off. "No, Angel."
He stopped, his faced pained. "Sorry."
She took a breath, and continued. "So…. I need to make sure you and Cordy know what you're doing."
Angel swallowed. "What do you mean?"
"I mean about… the curse. I need to make sure…. I need to know if you love her Angel."
Angel stared at her long and hard, unconsciously crossing his arms.
He was quiet, trying to form his words for Buffy, seeing the anxiousness in her eyes. After all this time, it still hurt to see her, he still remembered.
But he felt different, than he had before. A peace had overwhelmed his heart at the knowledge that he could look at Buffy and know he would always love her, and yet, still be completely aware that he loved and belonged with Cordelia.
And so he swallowed and began to speak. "You're worried I might lose my soul."
"Well some one has to be, if Cordelia's too self involved to think about it."
He blanched at her harsh tone, and narrowed his eyes.
"I love her, Buffy." In that statement, he felt, that it was all that needed to be said.
Buffy was absolutely silent, her face blank until the realization began to sink in.
"You… you LOVE her?"
He nodded. "I'm going to marry her."
She stared at him, unbelieving. "Angel how can you love her? I mean, if you did, wouldn't you-"
"The gypsies gave me a permanent soul two years ago, Buffy," he said softly, his voice gentle, firm. "I haven't been able to lose my soul."
These words struck Buffy like a whip. Angel felt his heart break at the anguish that passed her face, as she realized what those words meant.
"You've… Angel… you've had your soul for… and you didn't-" He shook his head, and tried to come forward.
"Don't," she whispered, pushing him away. "Don't."
"Buffy, you're engaged to be married. You've got another life. I've got another life. It's okay that we've moved on."
"I know," she whispered, a lone tear dripping from her eye. "I know…. But Angel… I waited…. I waited-"
He felt himself torn, and he swallowed. "Buffy."
She took a breath, "Oh, God. I need to leave. I need to leave-"
"Buffy."
"No, Angel," she whispered. "It's too much. It's too much. I…. I can't….. I need to go."
Angel's eyes widened at the state of her emotions. "Buffy, but… you're engaged."
She held her hands to her mouth, trying to suppress her emotion, but nodded. Composing herself, she lifted her still trembling gaze to meet his.
"I am. I have a normal life. I'm happy. But… but I still loved you," she bit off her words, and then turned, leaving Angel to stare after her.
He was still after that, taking another swig. "I'm sorry," he said after a minute. "I know I have no right. It's been ten years, I should have let it go by now."
I felt my anger dissipate, and I sighed. "It's okay, Xander. I mean, I think you have. You've made out pretty good for yourself."
He snorted, staring at the murky liquid in his glass. "Can I tell you something?" I nodded. "When you took off to LA, I decided that I would use that time wisely. That I would become rich and successful, all that you wanted in a husband, so successful that I would come to LA, and get you, and ask you to marry me, and then take you away, where I could love you forever." I felt my smile fade. Oh, God. "It took a while, but I thought I had time.... " He put the glass down, but continued to stare at it. "I just... I always had this crazy idea that you would wait for me. I never thought you'd stop waiting."
I felt my heart tear into pieces right there, as I finally saw my Xander again. The one I fell in love with. He was still in there, and this thing that was on the outside, I was responsible for. Damn, my eyes closed for half a second.
"I did wait," I admitted. "For about two years, I didn't fall in love with anyone, cause I had this fantasy that you would come and get me, but.... things happened Xander, I never heard from you, and... Angel was there."
"Angel," he spat the word out. "You know, he's supposed to be tortured guy, he's supposed to be miserable, and I see the way he looks at you, Cordy, he adores you. And me.... " he trailed off, and then he looked up.
"I just, I had nothing, Cordy, in high school, except you, and I was happy, the happiest I've ever been." His voice got weak, and he continued. "And now, I have everything, and.... I'm miserable, Cordy."
I felt my heart go out to him, aware that Xander had finally learned the lesson that I had learned the hard way, so long ago.
"Oh, Xander." I whispered, and then I had him in my arms, hugging him fiercely, feeling my old friend's pain.
He held me close, and then he looked into my face, his eyes moist.
"I missed you." He whispered, running a thumb along my cheek bone. "You don't know how much I've missed you."
Alarms rang off in my head. We were swimming in dangerous waters, here.
I shook my head, stepping back from his body, feeling my attraction come back almost immediately. "Xander, no."
His eyes were piercing right through me, and his mouth was firm when he asked, "Do you love Angel?"
"Yes," I answered honestly. He winced then, his hands back in his pockets.
I couldn't help but venture. "Do you love Tessa?"
He grinned sadly. "What do you think?"
I almost grinned. "I take it that's a no?"
He threw his head back, and laughed softly. "A big no," he continued, his voice softer. "You know, when I think about it, there was only one reason we started seeing each other."
"What?"
"She reminded me of you."
My smile faltered, and suddenly I was aware of an intense hunger, a passion that hadn't abated. His eyes were so dark they were almost black, and I felt myself staring at his lips, his perfect lips.
I couldn't stop it. Suddenly he was right next to me, pulling me closer, pulling my head back, and slanting his lips over mine.
The kiss was mindblowing, and I felt myself grow weak and I groaned helplessly, succumbing to it. It was wet, and open, and so very familiar.
And it was hot, so hot I found myself pushing against him, desperate to get closer to him.
"You taste so good, Cordy," he whispered thickly, his lips running against my temple, then down to my neck. "You've always tasted so good."
I whimpered as his lips ran along my collarbone, remembering how I used to hunger so much for his touch.
Oh, God. I forgot everything and everyone as I pressed his head down to my skin, needing that desire, a hot fire throughout my body every time his lips touched my shivering skin.
"Good," he responded, his voice light and airy. "I've made some changes."
"I noticed," I remarked, coming forward with my briefcase. "Quite the spiffy office, Xander Harris."
"I told you I did all right for myself." He smiled leaning back against the chair.
"And I believed you."
He smiled, nodding, tapping his fingers on the desk. "How's Angel?'
"He's good," I answered immediately. "At home, daylight hours."
He nodded, closing his eyes for a minute. "I talked to Willow."
An involuntary smile floated on my face. "Really? How is she?"
"Good. She and Oz have two kids. But ... uh.. Buffy's going through a divorce."
Oh, ouch. "Oh, God. Why?"
Xander shrugged. "I wish I knew. We don't really keep in touch. I took off to college after I transferred and we all kind of grew apart."
I sighed. "I'm sorry, Xand. I know how close you all were."
He shrugged. "You were one of us too, Cordy."
I smiled sadly. "Yeah, well, I kind of forfeited my Scooby rights when I slept with Angel."
His smile froze, and I knew I had touched a nerve. I was right, I knew. When Xander and Buffy had found out about Angel and I, they made every effort to keep me from coming back to Sunnydale, from being part of them again. Not that I blamed Buffy, she and Angel had quite a past, I'm still feeling it, but it hurt like hell from Xander. I thought we had parted friends.
He froze. "Cor?" He sounded scared. "What are you saying?"
"Buffy needs you, Angel. Xander needs me. And you and I, we love each other... and we need each other, but sometimes that's not enough. Because they need us MORE."
"Don't say that, Cor." He breathed, almost pleading with me as he cradled my hand in his face. "Don't say that I don't need you. I can't imagine my life without you. I love you, Cor."
Tears were running freely down my face as I looked at him. "I know, Angel. I love you too. I love you so much. But ... we love them too. Even if it's just a little bit. And they are dying inside."
I knocked, waited a couple beats, and then the doorway opened. I felt my heart skip a beat, and then I felt relieved. I still loved him.
Xander looked so beautiful standing there, blinking in the sunlight as he gazed at me, his eyes wide and hopeful, and immediately wary.
"Cordy?"
"Hi, Xander," I said softly. "Can I come in?'
He nodded, holding the door open as I went into his apartment. My eyes stopped at a picture of me. I felt myself smile involuntarily.
He didn't mince words. "Why are you here?" he asked, his fists shoved into his pockets.
I turned and said breathlessly, "Does it matter?"
He gazed at me, his eyes questioning, and then he got it, and his face betrayed a small expression of surprise, before the now cautious and wary Xander realized this was probably too good to be true.
"But you love Angel."
"And I love you," I added, crossing my arms.
He swallowed, walking toward me and stood just a foot away, pulling back. "You were going to marry him."
I looked away then. "I was. Now I'm here."
"He, he-"
I could only take so much disbelief. "Xander, if he needed me, would I be here right now?" I asked, a trace of annoyance in my face. I leaned forward and put a hand on his bare arm. He stiffened, his beautiful dark brown eyes rested on my hand on his arm for a second before floating up to meet mine.
"How long are you here, Cor?"
I smiled sadly. "As long as you need me, want me. Days, weeks... months, years." I pressed myself against him, feeling an unmistakable rush of pleasure as his hands involuntarily slid around my waist.
His eyes had darkened with desire and then I could discern it, love, as he leaned down, and tenderly brushed his lips against mine. It wasn't anything like the last two kisses he had given me. This was warm, soft, full of love and of promise, and I closed my eyes and succumbed to it. I allowed myself to forget, this time reveling in the emotions he could still bring up inside of me.
He lifted his head, licked his lips, and I could feel his body trembling. "I love you, Cordelia," he said thickly.
I nodded, one hand caressing his face. "I know." He nodded, reaffirming it as he pulled me closer.
"Cor," he croaked. "I have to know... I have to know - if Buffy hadn't come back-"
I sighed quickly, shaking my head furiously. "Xander, don't ask me to answer that question. I'm here, I'm yours. That has to be enough."
His eyes widened for a second at the emotion in my voice. He was smart, he just nodded, one finger moving up to trace my jaw line. "It is. For now."
I swallowed. "No, Xander. Not just for now. It has to be enough. Forever." Something about the last word struck him then, because I could see in his face that he let it go immediately, sighing as he rested his forehead against my bare shoulder, holding me as if I was his only lifeline.
"Alright then, Forever." He agreed, his voice shaking at the thought.
"Oh, my god!" Willow Osborne lunged forward, arms immediately wrapping around her old best friend as she squeezed him tight. "Look at you!"
Xander returned the hug just as viciously. "Wills! You're all grown up!"
Willow gave him a mock glare. "I've been grown up for a long time now, Xander," she pointed out. Oz came up from behind, toting a bag and a baby. A little girl hung onto his jacket lapel.
"Xander," he said, in his typical Oz way. Xander's face slid into a genuinely happy grin.
"Oz." The two men clasped hands, and somehow when they were released, Xander was holding the child.
"Whoa. Hey there." The redhead baby only stared at him quizzically, one fist stuffed into his mouth. "You must be Rupert."
"Ruppy for short," Willow supplied.
"Ruppy? Geez, can we get any cornier?" Willow's eyes flew immediately to behind Xander, and she felt her smile soften at the figure that was leaning in the doorway.
"Hey Cordelia," she said, her voice softer, her eyes gentle.
Cordelia's smile, though not as wide as it had been before, was sincere as she came forward to hug the hacker.
"It's good to see you, Willow," she said simply. The two women stared into each other's eyes for one moment, and as if by some unspoken conversation, they released each other immediately, eyes hiding some glistening spots of moisture that weren't there before.
"Oz." Cordelia smiled at the shorter man, who was now sporting a goatee and the same lazy smile he always had.
"The Queen C," he returned nodding, his eyes twinkling. "You look great."
"Well, duh!" She cocked an eyebrow to look at the little girl hugging his leg. Willow smiled, walking forward, hand outstretched.
"Prissy, honey, come here, come meet Cordelia." Priscilla shook her head fiercely and dug her face into her father's thigh.
"She's shy," Oz said simply.
"It's okay," Cordelia said, "I'm sure she'll warm up. Why don't you guys come in, It's hot out, isn't it?"
Oz nodded in agreement, dragging his clenching daughter in with him as he slid into the apartment. "Nice place," he commented.
Xander shrugged modestly. "Just a bachelor pad. We'll be moving soon."
Xander handed her the baby, which she took somewhat awkwardly, and smiled at Oz. "How about we set up the grill Oz. Do the manly men thing?"
Oz nodded. "I'm for it." Leaning down, he scooped up Priscilla and settled her neatly on his shoulders. "Come on, Pris. Let's do the manly thing."
Willow watched her husband go with an amused smile on her face. Xander turned back. "You gonna come watch, Will?"
Willow looked back to Cordelia, who purposely was engrossed in studying Willow's son.
"No, you go. I'm gonna help Cordy."
Cordelia looked up at her words, and turned into the kitchen. "You want anything?" she asked softly. "Coke, beer?"
"An iced tea if you have one. Here let me take him." Willow leaned forward and gently tried to pry Rupert away from Cordelia. It wasn't an easy task. The child had taken fiercely to Cordy and refused to budge.
"It's okay," Cordelia said with a half smile, affection already dancing in her eyes for the baby. "Let him stay."
Willow nodded, taking the iced tea that Cordelia managed to pour for her. They sat down at the kitchen table, neither knowing quite what to say.
"It's a nice day," Willow finally offered. She tried to sound casual, although it was clear in her green eyes that she was filled with questions.
Cordelia's eyes floated to the window. "Yeah," she agreed, looking at the bright sunset. "One of the nice things about hooking up with a mortal guy, you get to have a great barbecue."
"What? This is the part where you get all curious, right Willow?" Cordelia's eyes bore into hers. "It's killing you, isn't it? You're dying to know."
Willow's eyes closed for a moment, forcing some semblance of calm. When she spoke, her words were soothing, without anger at the hurtful tone, no malice. "Okay. Yes," she admitted, "I've got to admit, Cordy. After all that happened, I was kind of surprised to get a call from Xander telling me that you and he were engaged, when up till about three months ago you were six months away from marrying-"
"Don't say his name." The interruption was harsh, and Cordelia looked near panic when she raised a hand to stop the word from coming out. "Please, Willow." Her voice broke a little, and Willow swallowed, watching her carefully, nodding.
Waiting a moment, she continued, gently, "What's going on, Cordelia. This isn't... what happened, Cordelia. You two... you seemed... I thought-"
"I thought this was what you wanted, Willow," Cordelia returned, though her voice was less accusing than before. "I'm with Xander now. Let's just leave it at that."
"I can't, Cordelia. I just-"
"Buffy is with Angel. Remember? Buffy and Angel?" Willow recoiled as Cordelia tossed her words back at her. What had happened to her? When Willow had last seen Cordelia, she had been happy, her eyes had no longer held the hard edge that filled them today, she had seemed less Cordelia, and more... Cor. Now? There was some buried hurt in those hazel eyes, something that Xander hadn't told her about when he discussed Cordelia's return to him.
Swallowing he looked at Cordelia. Her face was now passive, her voice steady. "You never met Doyle, did you?"
"Xander," Doyle called in greeting. Xander made no move to come forward to greet him, and Doyle didn't care. Instead, his eyes floated to a now more mature Willow, sitting at the table, her green eyes riveted on him as she barely paid attention to the baby that was scrambling all over her lap.
"Willow."
"Hello, Doyle," her voice was a soft whisp.
Xander's eyes darted between the three of them, and his fist clenched for a minute.
Oz, sensing the tension the minute he had entered after Xander, came forward. "I'm Oz."
In Sunnydale, she was never alone, there was always a support structure that she could fall back on. She was alone now.
He was dying, and there was nothing she could do. It was a curse, one that kept him caged like an animal, fighting between worlds for his own soul, lost in limbo.
And it scared her, it scared her so much.
The door opened, and she quickly wiped away her tears, her face immobile as she lifted her tears stained eyes to the doorway.
Her heart stopped when a familiar brunette burst into the room as if she owned it. For a moment all Buffy could do was stare.
"Don't say one word Buffy," was all that Cordelia said, before going straight to the room where Angel was kept. Xander gave her a look of familiar tense emotion before following her.
Only Doyle stayed, his face immobile, his arms crossed.
"She's gonna help," was the only explanation he offered when she gave him a furious questioning glare.
"What the hell is she doing here?" Buffy hissed, furious as she looked at Doyle. "She can't do any more than we can."
"She can try," Doyle responded. His voice was hard, his stance defensive.
Xander stepped forward, laying a gentle hand on Buffy's shoulder. "Buffy-"
She immediately shook him off. "Shut up Xander, I know how you feel about Angel, and I know how you feel about her."
Xander's eyes flashed, and then they softened, giving her a hurt look, as he dug his hands into his pockets. For a moment, Buffy reeled. Despite the white shirt and tie that hung loosely around his neck, at that second, he looked exactly like the Xander of ten years ago- wide eyed and unsure, stoic and innocent.
She felt her anger deflate at the sight of her obviously conflicted old friend. "I'm sorry, Xander," she said immediately.
Xander gave her a grim smile. "Nice to see you too, Buffy." She winced. There was silence, and Xander stepped forward awkwardly.
"You know, Buffy. This isn't easy for anyone. Especially me."
Willow's eyes crossed the room and landed on Buffy. She stiffened, but her eyes were gentle and her smile soft.
"Hey Buffy."
Buffy felt her heart tremor, and she smiled, engulfing the hacker in a crushing hug. Only in her best friend's arms did she allow a small whimper to escape. But she brushed it away just as quickly when she pulled back.
"Hey, Willow." She wiped quickly at her eyes. "What are you doing here?"
Willow shrugged, motioning to Oz and her kids. "We were visiting Xander and Cordelia when we heard. We came with them."
Buffy swallowed. "You were in Los Angeles, and you didn't see me?"
She was about to respond when Cordelia came up to her quickly. "Willow, can I talk to you?" Willow noticed Buffy's hostile stare at the taller brunette and felt her throat go dry.
This was not going to be easy, for any of them. Once again, the feeling that had entered Willow the moment she had found out about Cordelia and Angel rose clear in her soul. She felt divided, her loyalty to Buffy and Xander stretched thin over her involvement and true understanding of the depth of Angel and Cordelia's feelings.
There was silence as Buffy and Willow each stood side by side. Buffy's eyes roved to her, immediately looking away when Willow turned. She turned to Cordelia and Kate's conversation.
"You two are awfully chummy," Buffy remarked.
Willow felt her heart thud just for a moment, and her throat closed before she swallowed and shrugged. "People change, Buffy." Was all that she would allow.
"Change?" Buffy scoffed. "I don't see any change, Willow. She's still using every sentence to try and belittle us."
Willow closed her eyes, shaking her head. "You don't understand. About her. You still think she's the bitch."
"She's not?"
Willow allowed one tired smile when she answered honestly. "No, she's not. She's a friend."
"And what about me?" Buffy asked tightly, not looking at Willow. "Don't you think she should understand about me?"
Willow gave a cough. "I think that if she didn't understand ....." She trailed off.
Buffy swallowed, looking away, before casting unsure eyes at her. "Do YOU understand?"
Willow quiet for a moment, and then she responded firmly, "I'm sorry, Buffy, but I don't." Buffy's eyes widened.
"What?"
Willow turned, her face calm and serene, quite a contrast from her old unsure high school face. "Buffy you're hanging on to a thread. You and Angel were together for two years. They've been friends and lovers for TEN. Think about it. Cordelia and Angel broke up because you and Xander couldn't let go. The Cordelia I knew before wouldn't do that, and the Buffy I knew before would. Somehow, things got reversed Buffy, and now? I don't even think I know you anymore."
For a moment Buffy could say nothing, the hurt in her eyes almost killed Willow, and she immediately turned away, but Buffy wouldn't allow it. She grabbed her arm, swinging her around to face her.
"There's something you're not telling me, Willow. Something you know. When did you get this major understanding? When did you and Cordelia connect that all of sudden you know her SO well? What happened to you, Willow? Tell me."
The blatant accusation was clear in her blue eyes and Willow felt cornered, trapped. She couldn't hide it anymore. As much as she didn't want to hurt her best friend, strangely, she found that she didn't want to hide it.
"Buffy, five years ago," She began speaking slowly, gently, wanting to make sure Buffy understood, not wanting to drag this out anymore than she had to. "When I came to LA..... I didn't understand. But that night... when they... I understood. She loves him, she really loves him... and he loves her." There was a pleading note resonating in Willow's voice. A desperateness throughout as if pleading for Buffy to understand, to get past the bitterness and hate and see what she had seen.
"She doesn't understand, Buffy. All she sees is Angel sick, she loves him," she finished softly.
But Buffy saw none of it, her only thought was clinging to the one moment of clarity that finally came to her.
Buffy eyes widened in horror, watering instantly as it dawned on her exactly what she was saying. "You were THERE?" she whispered. "When they... Willow, you knew?"
Willow's throat went dry, but she nodded. "I didn't understand Buffy, not then. But it didn't matter if I understood or not. It wasn't about my comprehension. It was about them."
Buffy's eyes filled with tears, and she moved back. "No. No, Willow. You can't say that."
Willow's eyes clouded, and she leaned forward. "Buffy, I'm sorry."
"Don't touch me, Willow." Buffy said softly, "Just... don't." The two women stood, staring at each other, oblivious to anyone else.
The heartbreak was clear, and the chasm that sprung up between them was almost tangible.
His hands were in his pockets, and he leaned against the doorway.
From his position in the living room, holding a scrambling Ruppy in his arms, Oz could see his back clearly.
He didn't have to see his face to know what Xander was feeling.
Harris was fighting very hard not to hate. For most of his life, almost every woman Xander had loved had preferred someone else. They had preferred the dark man who was responsible for so much heartache and pain.
Xander was helpless against it, and Oz guessed he understood. He could sympathize. He had spent his entire life wondering if Willow preferred Xander to him.
He knew now, that Willow hadn't, that Willow truly loved him, but Xander lacked the assurance that he had. At that moment, Cordelia was trying her hardest to save the demon in Angel from dying. Stoically Xander was helping even if it certainly meant the loss of Cordy.
But then again he might have never really had her, not completely.
"Xander?" He looked up. Willow was gazing down at him with unsure eyes.
She bit her lip, noticing the glint in them. "Buffy told you, didn't she?"
He slammed the book shut, his jaw ticked as he got up, walked to the window, and looked out into the night sky.
Casting unsure eyes at Oz and Doyle, who at the moment seemed incredibly interested in finding a spell, she took a breath and went after him.
"Xander."
"How could you," he bit out, whirling around to glare at her. "How could you do that, Willow? Knowing how I felt?! Knowing how Buffy felt! How could you -"
"I couldn't say no, Xander," she interrupted, her green eyes moist. "I couldn't take that risk."
"Risk?" He looked confused for a minute, and then his shoulders deflated, before tightening again. "Hell, Willow, that's not what I'm even talking about. Of course I'm pissed about that! I'm pissed that Cordelia slept with Angel, and all that, but that's not what really burns me."
Her eyes were bewildered. "Then what?"
"You lied to us, Willow. To me and Buffy. You made me believe that I had a chance with her. You didn't tell me when you should have. You kept it from us, all these years. All these years, Willow. What the hell were you thinking?"
"I... I didn't want to hurt you." Her words were soft.
"Well, you did." Xander's eyes flashed as he crossed his arms, turning away from her in an effort to control his emotion. After a minute, he spoke again, this time, his voice softer. "Don't you see what you did, Willow? You chose them, over us. I'm not mad that you were there, cause you wouldn't have been Willow if you didn't do the responsible thing. I'm... hurt... that you didn't trust us enough. Didn't... I don't know. You just let us find out, and you never told us. You Willow, who never, ever lied to any of us. You lied to us for five years." He swallowed. "I don't know if I could ever forgive you for that."
Willow saw the resolve in his eyes, the hurt and betrayal, and she felt tears swimming in her eyes. Taking a breath, she closed her eyes and turned, aware that at the moment there was no more to be said. Looking up, she saw Doyle and Oz watching, each with sympathetic expressions in their eyes.
She looked away, to her own children, who were sleeping soundly on the couch, worn out from the day's events.
It wasn't supposed to be like this. It wasn't supposed to involve her. She wasn't supposed to feel this much pain, this much guilt for something that wasn't her fault.
She closed her eyes, feeling one small tear leak out, and sighed. "I'm sorry," she whispered, and at that moment, she wasn't sure if she was saying it to herself, to Angel, or to everyone else.
"Oh, yuck. Thank you Angel, SO much," Cordelia muttered, wincing at the sewage on her shoes. "Goodbye, catsuit."
Buffy rolled her eyes, but her face immediately changed at the smell. "Eww. How does he do this all the time?"
"What, haven't you had to burn his clothes from time to time?" Cordelia asked, a smile on her face.
Buffy gave a short burst of laughter as they began to tip toe around the more repulsive sewage. "About three."
"I know, there was this one time, when..." she trailed off when she saw the smile on her face. "Okay, no need to bond."
"Agreed," Buffy said, looking away.
Cordelia sighed, running a hand through her hair as she sniffed. "Oh, God this smells. He is SO going to get this."
"Damn straight. What did that bastard do to have TWO of us so hung up on him?"
Cordelia stopped and cocked her head as she studied Buffy. "You still love him, don't you Buffy? I mean, as much as you did before."
There was no animosity in her voice, and Buffy had to look at her twice before she sighed, her voice curiously weak.
"I love him, Cordelia. You don't know how much."
Cordelia shrugged. "I have a rough idea."
"Oh?"
"Ten years of it." Was the easy response.
"Ten years," Buffy repeated, and sighed. "Damn, Cordy, how on earth can I compete with ten years?"
Cordelia shot her a look. "It's not about competing, Buffy, get that through that thick skull of yours." There was silence as the women continued to walk more quickly now. "We used to be friends Buffy."
Buffy snorted. "I don't think so."
"I did."
Willow bit her lip, but slowly nodded. Xander felt himself burst into a smile of relief, patting Oz quickly. "Great. Good. Good."
Willow gazed at him for a moment. "You seem... happy."
Xander sighed. "I am. The sooner we finish this, the closer Cordy and I are to getting out of here."
Doyle looked up not saying a word, he stormed into the other room. Oz got up, balancing both children as he walked to the bedroom.
Willow's face was calm, but intense as she looked at Xander.
"Xander," she began slowly. "I know you probably don't want to hear this-" His smile faltered, and he shook his head. "I don't." He said gruffly.
"Xander how can you want to be second best?!" Willow got up, staring at his back when he stopped. "That's not like you."
He froze, and after a second, his back deflated. "I don't know what me is anymore." Willow sighed, walking over to him, turning him toward her.
"Oh, Xander." She whispered, tears in her eyes. "My beautiful Xander. What happened to you?"
He looked away, his eyes suspiciously moist. "I don't know."
She swallowed, shaking her head slowly. "Why are you doing this to yourself, Xander? You were stronger than that."
"No, the rest of you were stronger than that. I was always... I was always just there."
"You were what held us together."
"I was what tore us apart," Xander shot back. "It was my fault I never figured out how you felt for me, and it was my fault that I realized it too late, and it was my fault that I loved Cordy and loved you and screwed every one up."
"Xander, it was high school. We were all messed up then."
"We still are," Oz said, coming back into the room. Willow looked at him, then at Xander.
Xander looked at the couple, and leaned against the wall, his throat full. "She dreams about him, you know. And she cries sometimes at night. I hear it. She laughs, she says his name in her sleep. She doesn't like soap operas. And she gets misty eyed when she looks at ice cream, and I can't even MENTION musicals-" He shook his head. "I can't make her happy. I loved her, I love her, but I can't... I can't make her happy, no matter how much she loves me." Swallowing, he continued. "Trying to hold on the way I did made me wonder if I really loved her or the idea of her."
"And?" Willow pressed softly.
"And if I really loved her, I wouldn't make her stay with me if she loved someone else, right? I'd want what was best for her."
"Angel?"
"No, me," he said quickly, a small smile forming on his lips. "But she loves Angel. She's happy with him. Nothing is gonna change that. And as much as I want to kill him, as much as I hate him, that makes all the difference."
Willow walked forward, and slid her arms around him. For a second he stiffened, and then gave in, crushing her to him in a desperate need for comfort. Oz cocked his head, watching the scene, and closed his eyes in sympathy, before walking back into the bedroom.
I thought I was what she needed, that if she just stayed with me, she would understand that we were perfect for each other, we always had been.
One night I leaned over, and kissed the scar, trying in desperation to brush the pain away. She smiled, that beautiful smile, my Cordy never waking up.
She merely smiled, moaned a grateful moan, and whispered, "Angel."
I knew who she was dreaming about then, I knew it wasn't me.
I sat on the edge of my huge, expensive bed, studying my whole room that night. My eyes went to my silk pajamas, to the closet that held my Armani suits, to the gold watch next to the bed on the teakwood dresser. The leather Fendi briefcase.
Then my eyes went to Cordelia, who was dressed in a pair of cotton shorts and shirt that seemed years old. It was torn, it was ragged, and she looked like a queen in it. I had bought her a silk nightgown. She never wore it, unless I asked her too.
It made me realize right then that I didn't know this woman at all. Oh, I love her, I love her so much it kills me to watch the blatant truth that even I, in my damn denial can't ignore, she loves Angel.
But I don't know her. I never did, to think that maybe she would have been impressed with all this. She might have, years ago, but that wasn't the real Cordelia Chase.
She had loved me when I was poor, when I was just Xander Harris. She was forever trying to tell me that, when I bought her all these things.
She knew who I was, and she hadn't changed me. I had changed myself. I was rich, successful, a hell of a business man, and miserable.
Somewhere along the line, I had lost who I was. I wasn't Xander anymore. Maybe Xander had deserved her, but this guy, the guy who wore the suit and tie, he doesn't.
Maybe that's why I'm doing this, helping a guy I've always hated, a guy who killed Jenny, who almost killed Cordelia and Buffy and still for some reason, held their hearts. I'm trying to find Xander, cause then maybe I'll deserve this person I never knew.
Hell, maybe I'll deserve to be myself again.
"How are you?"
Willow sighed. "I'm tired, Oz. I'm so tired." He nodded, gathering her into his arms and planting a kiss on her forehead. "Well, we seem to have a new nanny." Willow gave a smile at the sight Oz was referring to.
"The kids really like him," she agreed, as Xander swung Priscilla around the room.
"Sammis has a private jet. Forgive me." Rupert said immediately, turning to the older man who was waiting patiently to be introduced. "This is Dr. Sammis, a close colleague of mine, he specializes in the Druid's, and is familiar with this particular sect."
"Where is Angelus?" Sammis asked immediately. Cordelia crossed her arms, and indicated he should follow her.
"He's going to help?" Buffy asked hopefully.
Giles gave her a tender smile. "He's going to try."
Sammis nodded. "It's not enough. It won't reverse the spell, merely give him strength. Druid's blood isn't all that potent, it's not innocent, even if it's the casters. No amount of blood from a person will work unless-"
"Unless what?" Xander asked.
"The only one that can save him is his Bound," Sammis remarked.
"Bound?" Oz asked, coming forward.
"A soul mate, some one that has a piece of him within their own bodies, a part of him, someone he has loved."
Sammis was quiet for a moment, and then he came forward, gently taking Cordelia's hands and pressing them together. "You are his Bound, little girl. The magic bound you to him, your love for each other cemented it, and the consummation, his true happiness, made it irreversible. You must believe it, if you don't, he will die."
Cordelia's eyes watered as she stared at him. "Not... not... not Buffy?" she whispered.
Sammis turned to the blonde in the corner, who was watching them both with unreadable eyes. "She might have been, however, she has been Chosen already, as a Slayer. Her destiny is that of a Slayer, and that is all. Yours, child, is with him."
Xander swung around. "Cordelia could die doing whatever the hell this is."
"It's her choice, and Angel's only salvation," Sammis retorted.
"But she could die!"
"I don't know. No one has ever really tried it before," Giles said softly. "I'm not Angel's greatest advocate either, but it's the only choice, and up to Cordelia to decide." He cocked his head, studying her. "Are you prepared to take that risk?" Rupert asked.
Everyone in the room turned to look at Cordelia, who before then had said absolutely nothing, merely stood there, arms crossed, face unreadable.
"Cordelia," Xander pleaded, staring at her beseechingly. "Don't do this. Please."
She was quiet for a minute, looking at him, her voice never wavered. "I've been prepared to take that risk from the beginning."
He stared at her, and then turned striding to the door.
"Xander."
She followed him, catching him by his arm.
He shrugged her off, and she tried again. "Xander!"
"Cor, no." He turned to face her, his eyes flashing. "Can't you see what you're doing?"
"I'd do it for any of them, Xander. For you. Wouldn't you do the same?"
"Not for him," he bit.
"For me?"
He swallowed, looking at the others, who stared at him. "You know I would," he said gruffly.
She nodded quickly. "Look, Dorkhead. I could die. I need you there to help me. Xander." She swallowed, taking his hand, looking back at the others. "Come on. I want to talk to you."
He didn't budge, his eyes dark with hurt and pain.
"Come on." She pulled him, dragging him into the bedroom and shutting the door.
He moved to sit in the dark corner, not budging. She crossed her arms, her voice soft. "Talk to me," she whispered.
He was quiet for a minute, then he seemed to sigh, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his thighs. "You once told me never to ask you if you would have stayed with him, but it's killing me, Cordelia. I should have known then. I don't know why I never asked." He rubbed his hands through his hair, swallowing. "Why did you come back to me, Cordelia?"
"Because I love you."
"I'm not sure of that."
"I am." She came forward, her hand on his knee as she kneeled in front of him.
"Xander, I never lied to you about that. I do love you. But, Angel-"
"He's your Bound. You belong to him." She nodded, swallowing.
"I guess I do," she finally admitted. He nodded, his voice husky as he reached a hand out and slowly traced his finger across her jaw.
"I guess we can do that big break up scene right now," she said softly, leaning her chin on his shoulder, a slow tear trickling down her cheek.
He sighed, leaning against her. "Strangely, I don't want to." At her questioning glance he slid his arms around her, holding her close. "I hate him, Cordelia, but I also hate what I've become." He took a breath, pressing his lips to her forehead. "So, I'm going to help you, and then I'm leaving you, Cordelia."
She buried her face in his neck, closing her eyes.
"What are you going to do?"
"Try to find myself. Who I really am. I lost that somewhere, trying to be what I thought you'd want. I didn't know you as well as I thought I did. Money doesn't impress you anymore."
Her eyes opened, and she cocked her head, her voice sad, longing. "It wasn't why I fell in love with you, Xander."
He smiled, nodding. "I know. I love you, Cordelia."
She gazed at him, her eyes shining. "I love you, Xander."
He pulled her close, desperately, not into a lover's embrace, and not just a friend's embrace. It was neither, and a bit of both, and at that moment, neither cared enough to categorize it. They were close, hearts beating in synchronicity.
That was all that mattered.
"Hey."
She felt a small trembling smile float on her face, "You can recognize me."
He looked surprise. "Of course I can."
"No, it's just." She stifled a sob in her throat and shrugged. "You couldn't before.... the only person you would let near you was Cordelia."
His face closed up for a second, and Buffy's heart stopped beating. She knew that face. It was the brooding face, it was a face she had learned to dread.
"Buffy," he began, but she raised her hand, cutting him off.
"No, Angel. Don't say it." She swallowed, felt tears trickling down her cheeks. "I know. Things changed. She's..... she's your bound, and I'm not stupid. Or I hope not that pathetic that I don't know it." She managed a weak smile. "I love you, Angel."
Oh, God. The wind hit them full blast, and Cordelia felt herself suddenly full of pain, of pure horrible agony.
She was going through hell, and it wasn't working.
Cordelia felt the spell blast through her, so hard she felt she was being torn apart, but something was wrong, it wasn't affecting Angel. Angel was still, his body wracked with sweat. He looked dead, worse than before.
All around her, she saw the fighting. The wind whirled and Sammis stood, his form blurry through the wind. He was watching them, his eyes wide.
The spell had been cast and the look on his face said it all. It wasn't working.
Her energy was draining, and Cordelia knew that at any minute she would pass out from the pain. There would be no time, and if she fell before the spell worked, he would die, and so would she.
He wasn't getting any better, and there was nothing else anyone could do. They would die if she didn't do something.
So she did the one thing that there was left to resort to, the last thing she would have ever done, and the scariest moment of her life.
Sammis told her it would be their last chance, if nothing else worked, it just might give him enough strength to save him, just enough humanity to fight for his soul.
He also told her he had no idea what it would do to her. It was her last chance, their last chance for living through this hell. She clung to him, and never even thought about it.
She pulled out the knife she had taken from Buffy and sliced open a cut on his arm. There was no hesitation, only pure resolve, when she raised the wounded wrist to her lips and drank.
She gagged on the bitter taste, but kept swallowing, drinking as much of his blood as she could, closing her eyes and muttering the few words that Sammis had taught her.
Suddenly she gasped as the magic of the spell overwhelmed her, her body writhed in pain as vampire blood mixed with her human blood, fighting with her senses and her body.
She felt the blood churn within her, her body adapting to it quickly, too quickly.
Groaning, she rose to her knees, trying to catch her breath and finding that she needed none. She quickly turned the knife to her own wrist, slicing.
"Mingled blood makes you stronger," she began, managing the words despite the chaos both in and around her.
"Drink, Angel," she whispered, holding her wrist to his lips, praying he still had the strength.
Angel sniffed, smelling the blood, and his eyes widened, his demon face resurfacing at the smell. "Come on, Deadboy." She urged. "Drink it up, you need it."
He growled, and suddenly his mouth latched to her wrist, sucking furiously. She fell back as he took from her, praying she had the strength to pull him away before she lost too much, before she died, losing her life, and with it their humanity.
"The mixing of his blood and hers will create a bond, it will bind her to him, allow him to use her strength, her humanity to fight it."
"And what about her!" Xander cried, grabbing the older man and shaking him. "What the hell will it do to her?"
"I'm not sure," Sammis said, pushing the younger man away. "But she knew the risk."
"To hell with the risk. He's gonna vamp Cordy!"
"Xander!" Giles came forward, pulling him away. "She has to die to become a vampire."
Xander's eyes flashed. "But they're in the middle of a mystical convergance! Anything can happen in there!"
Giles gasped, turning to look at Sammis. "Bloody hell, he's right."
Doyle bit his lip, sniffing.
"What is it?" Sammis asked. Doyle looked disturbed, but shook it off.
"Must be the blood. Like a side effect. She doesn''t smell human."
"I'm not going to say goodbye to him. It'll hurt too much. I don't think I'll be able to .. to leave if I did. Don't tell him anything, Cordelia. Just that I left."
"Where-"
"I'm not telling you. I don't want you to know. I might pop back in town, one day, when I heal. You better take care of him, Cordy."
Cordelia nodded, her face passive. Buffy took a breath and turned, walking away. Cordelia swallowed, and after a minute, called out.
"We're friends, Buffy."
Buffy's steps faltered, and she smiled grimly. "I don't think so."
"I do," Cordelia said meaningfully.
Buffy shook her head sadly. "Not now, Cor, but maybe later. Someday." And with that, she turned around, and kept walking.
She never looked back.
"They okay?"
"Fine." Willow managed a smile. "Better than any of us, I'll bet." Oz nodded, then turned to watch Buffy's back as she walked to her car.
"Did you say goodbye?"
Willow's smile faltered, and she shook her head. "She's not ready to say goodbye to me, neither is Xander." She breathed in, and her smiled returned.
"But it's okay, Oz. They will be, one day."
"Quite remarkable, aren't they?" Giles said, smiling. "Did you call your wife?"
"I did. Told her I'd be in sometime tomorrow. Your wife called by the way, she told Martha to tell you to make sure you get a goodnight's rest. She's ovulating."
Sammis nodded, his face lost in thought. Rupert gave him a look.
"You look troubled."
"I am," he responded. "I didn't expect this. By drinking his blood, she was supposed to make him more human, mixing it with hers and giving it back to him. I never imagined it would go both ways."
Rupert Giles looked at his colleague, his eyes furrowed in thought. "Sammis, what are you saying? Cordelia is no longer human?"
"I don't know. I don't know how much it changed her, but Doyle's discovery wasn't just a coincidence. He said she didn't smell the same."
"So what is she now?" Rupert asked, his voice tight with worry. "Some kind of hybrid?"
He was waiting by his car, watching her as she walked up to him. "You okay?"
Buffy shrugged. "No, but I feel... semi okay. I'll be fine. In about... three hundred years or so."
He gave her a soft smile. "You know you don't need him. You only think you do."
"I guess." Wiping her hair out of her eyes, she leaned against the car, leaning into his side. "What about you?"
"Well, Cord and I had our closure, still love her, but.... I'll survive. I'll never really be her first choice, and I need that. I'm selfish." He chuckled to hide the tremor in his voice. Buffy swallowed, not daring to look at him for fear she would burst into tears.
"They're alive. That's what matters."
"She's alive. That's all that matters to me," he returned. "And you. You're okay."
"I wouldn't be me if I wasn't," she responded.
"No, you wouldn't." Xander gazed at her, and suddenly his eyes twinkled. "I missed you, Buff."
She smiled at the affection in his eyes. "Likewise, Xandman." She nudged him once, and he grinned. The pair quieted, each looking at the horizon.
"Well." Xander breathed, "That place looks as good as any," he said, pointing to the east. He looked at her. "You game?"
She gave him a surprised glance, and at the playful challenge in his voice, she felt a ray of hope. "You serious?"
"Yeah," he shrugged. "I've got money, Buffy, we'll be okay. I think we need to catch up. We're long overdue."
There was a minute of silence as she became lost in thought, and then her face broke into a hopeful, tired grin.
"Sounds good, Xander." She took a breath, feeling her heart start beating ever so slightly, feeling the pain recede for just a minute. "Sounds very good."
To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy. It's, it's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it. Giles to Buffy - "I Only Have Eyes For You"
Fifty five year old Joyce Summers was flicking through channels with her remote control and sighed. There was nothing on lately. Her mind was preoccupied anyway with thoughts about her daughter. Giles, Willow and Oz had told her about what she and Xander went through on their trip to Los Angeles to save Angel, and her heart went out to her.
'Maybe now she can find someone normal. Someone a lot better.' She thought to herself.
Buffy didn't call her or anyone else. The last person that saw her was Cordelia, who said she saw her walk towards Xander and his car after their little conversation. Cordelia had said that Buffy told her that she didn't want Cordelia to know where she was going, which only worried Joyce more. She could only hope that her daughter was safe.
A knock at the door disturbed her thoughts. Wearily, Joyce stood up out of her chair and walked to the front door and opened it. Her jaw dropped in surprise when she saw Buffy standing there with a new suitcase resting at her feet.
"Buffy." Joyce breathed as she took in the sight of her only child.
Twenty nine year old Buffy Summers stood in the one spot and threw her mother a fake smile. She wasn't in the mood to humor anybody.
"Come in for crying out loud." Joyce urged her daughter inside the house as Buffy brought her suitcase in with her. Buffy dropped the suitcase next to the couch as she sat down.
"Where have you been?" Mrs Summers asked as she poured a drink and gave it to Buffy.
"I've been around. With Xander." Buffy said cryptically.
"Around where? And how's Xander doing?"
Buffy shrugged and smiled. "Well, we went to Roswell, New Mexico. We spent four weeks there. It's real sunny and hot there. Then we went to Florida for awhile and played miniature golf and we learned how to surf. It's been great. Xander's doing alright, I think. But he didn't talk much about what happened in Los Angeles. I think he's real upset about it. So am I for that matter."
Joyce nodded in sad understanding.
"So, what's been happening here?" Buffy asked with a grin.
"Not much. Giles dropped by last week and we talked. Apparently he and his wife are trying to have a baby. Can you believe that? At his age?" Joyce asked with a surprised look on her face.
"I guess nothing surprises me anymore." Buffy smiled sadly.
Joyce's smile dropped. "Oh, I'm sorry Buffy. The last thing you want to hear right now is relationship issues."
Buffy nodded in agreement. "Well, has there been anything else that happened?"
"Well, Willow has..." Joyce started but Buffy cut her off rudely.
"I don't want to talk about that bitch. I don't even want to hear her goddamn name being mentioned." Buffy said harshly.
Joyce carefully changed the subject, not wanting to hurt her daughter any further. "Is Xander still staying in Los Angeles?"
Buffy nodded. "Not for much longer. He's been thinking of moving out and leaving town. Being too close to his ex is killing him. I know what that's like."
"Well, it's good to have you back. I was worried about you. How long are you staying for?" Joyce asked her.
"Actually I was hoping I could stay here for awhile. I don't have much money and there's no other place I can stay." Buffy said softly. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes as she thought about losing Angel. Especially to someone she truly despised.
"Sure you can. You can stay here for as long as you want. Anything to have my daughter back," Joyce said with a wide grin as she hugged her daughter in an embrace that was long overdue.
"Where did you get this suitcase?" Joyce asked her.
"Xander bought it for me in New Mexico. You wouldn't believe all the things they had there." Buffy remembered.
Xander Harris opened the door to the L.A. apartment he had shared with Cordelia for a few months. Memories of her hit him with a tidal wave as he looked around his spacious apartment. The empty barbacue was still in the backyard, waiting for the cookout that was never going to happen now. He grimaced and threw his keys onto the coffee table.
"Xander Harris, this is your life." He told himself as he sat down on the floor of his quiet apartment. Things were good for the three months when he was with Buffy. For three months, they had forgotten about Angel and Cordelia and had fun. They played miniature golf in Florida and camped out under the stars in Roswell. They didn't see any UFO's, but they did see a comet in the sky.
He stood up and walked over to his answering machine and pressed the button. He received thirty-seven messages which mostly contained messages from his law firm at 'Simon And Finch', but the last five were from Willow.
Xander flinched when he heard her voice on his machine. She was apologising for the years she had lied to him. The years that she kept Angel and Cordelia's romance a secret. The sound of Willow's voice had made Xander physically ill. He grabbed the answering machine and ripped it out of the wall with one sharp pull, the cord coming out and Willow's voice dying midway in conversation.
Relieved that he couldn't hear her anymore, Xander dropped the machine to the floor and walked into the kitchen. He got a can of beer out of the fridge and opened it. Xander guzzled the contents quickly and wiped his chin of any excess. Before he left the kitchen, he threw the empty can into the bin but missed as it fell to the floor with a clank instead.
Xander walked up the stairs to the bedroom and laid down on the bed that he and Cordelia had mostly shared for a few months. Months of listening to her say Angel's name in her sleep. Months of being second best. Months of realising that he was never going to be Cordelia's first. Xander got caught up in his emotional pain and curled into a ball on top of his bed and started to cry for his lost love. Images of Cordelia naked in the arms of his worst enemy, filled his entire being as sobs wracked his body.
Sundown couldn't have come any quicker for him as the sun slowly melted on it's horizon.
"Mommy, could you read me a bedtime story?" Priscilla asked her mother. Willow Osborne picked up her small daughter as Oz carried their sleeping son Rupert, into his bedroom.
"Okay, sweetie. What story do you want tonight?" Willow asked as she pulled out several short stories from the shelf in her daughter's room. Priscilla pointed to 'Sleeping Beauty' and smiled. Willow nodded and put the other books away and opened the 'Sleeping Beauty' book when she sat down in a seat. She made sure that Priscilla had gotten into her bed before she started to read it.
Oz waited for his wife to reappear in the living room after she read their daughter the story. Willow finally appeared and sat down on the couch next to her husband.
"They're finally asleep." Willow exhaled.
Oz nodded and wrapped an arm around her. "We are two very lucky people, do you know that?"
"Luckier than some, that's for sure." Willow said as she thought of her two mortal friends.
"Buffy and Xander are going to be okay. It'll just take some time that's all. They have been in love with Angel and Cordelia for a long time. It can't be easy to adapt to life without them," Oz told her.
Willow felt guilty when she thought of the pain that she caused Buffy and Xander. All she wanted to do was make sure that Angel wouldn't lose his soul when he and Cordelia made love. She never expected to destroy her friendship with her two friends at the same time. Her loyalty was divided from that night onwards and apart from Angel, Doyle and Cordelia, only Oz knew what she did.
At least until three months ago when Angel was near death from the druids. Everything was exposed. The secret that Willow had held onto for five years had finally been exposed. Angel and Cordelia may finally be happy again, but Xander and Buffy were miserable and lonely once more.
"Sometimes life is one tragic see-saw," Willow said aloud.
Oz smiled out of sympathy and held his wife as they looked at framed photos of Buffy and Xander on their mantlepiece. They were happier then. Although none of them had seen Buffy or Xander since what happened three months ago, they assumed that they were still in pain over what happened.
"Do you think they'll ever forgive me? That is, if we ever find them." Willow asked.
Oz nodded. "They'll get over it in time. You just need to have faith. Giles called me from Sunnydale. He said he went over to Mrs. Summers's house yesterday to see her. She still has heard no word on Buffy. And there's no way we can find anything on Xander. Giles DID contact Xander's office and the secretary said that he's on extended vacation."
Willow sighed. "I didn't want this to happen. I thought Cordelia was better off with Xander. When he called me before and told me what happened, it sounded like she was truly happier with him. But when we visited, I could tell that it wasn't true."
"They're going to be fine." Oz repeated.
"Not Xander. That much I know. You should have seen him when he told me that he was alright with being second best. I am really worried that he's going to do something stupid to himself." Willow said with worry.
Oz was unsure. "He was real quiet. More quiet than I've ever seen him."
"I just hope that Buffy and Xander went off together. That way, they're not alone." Willow said with hope, trying to ignore the guilt filtering through her.
"I'm just so glad that we have each other." Oz told his wife as they kissed in front of the roaring flames in the fireplace.
"Rupert. Come to bed."
Giles sighed and looked up the stairs of his house to his wife who was staring down at him with an impatient look on her face.
"I'll be up in a minute." Giles told her.
Olivia Giles walked down the stairs and hugged her husband from behind as he sat at the living room table with the Yellow Pages sprawled out on their table.
"You won't find them tonight. You're tired. You'll probably have better luck tomorrow when you're rested." Olivia told him.
Giles looked back down at the Yellow Pages and a list of contacts that would probably know where Xander and his former slayer are.
"I can't believe they would just disappear on us." Giles told her.
Olivia shrugged. "You people weren't so close to each other anyway. Buffy was living in Canada until she moved to Los Angeles. It's been ages since she's lived here in Sunnydale. And as for Xander... well, God knows where he's spent the past years. I don't even believe I've ever met him."
"You haven't." Giles said as he thought about it.
"You see? Your group has all grown up. They're not teenagers any more. Willow and Oz are married and have two kids."
Giles shook his head. "It's just that I know that Buffy is hurting after losing Angel. You don't know what they had. It was truly unique."
"I never really understood the fascination with Angel. He's a vampire. Vampires should be destroyed." Olivia told him.
"That's exactly what Xander would say." Giles said, chuckling.
"I'm guessing that Xander's dislike of Angel would have seriously grown now, due to what happened." Olivia said as she thought about it.
Giles was confused. "Wouldn't he want Cordelia to be happy?"
"It's not that simple. It's never that simple." Olivia said as Giles stood up and together they walked up the stairs to their bedroom.
Two vampires fought in an alley in Los Angeles like wild animals. They grabbed the corpse they were feeding off and growled and clawed over it like feral creatures.
Penn watched with a smug look on his face as he walked towards them and pulled them apart.
"You two are pathetic. I can't believe that I ever sired you morons." Penn said with a shake of his head.
The two vampires looked at him in fear as their bespectacled sire stared at them.
"What do you want from us? There's hardly anything decent in this part of town. When are we leaving for Florida?" One of the vampires named Kyle Chomsky asked Penn. Maria Petrescu, the other one, watched and waited for the answer.
"A little change in plans. She's not in Florida now. Rumor has it that she's back here in L.A." Penn told his two vampire cohorts.
"What about Sunnydale? I haven't been there in years." Maria cooed.
Penn shrugged. "It doesn't matter where she is, we'll find her. As my Sire used to say, 'Patience is a virtue'. Once we get the former slayer in our hands, the world will be ours."
The three vampires cackled with glee as they thought of ways to kill Buffy.
"Buffy? Buffy? Wake up honey," Joyce urged her daughter as Buffy wearily opened her eyes. She felt moisture on her face and wiped it off on her fingers. It didn't take Buffy long to realize that she must have been crying in her sleep.
"You were crying in your sleep. Don't you remember?" Joyce confirmed Buffy's suspicions.
Buffy shook her head. "No. Sorry if I woke you."
"You didn't. I was up for a while now." Joyce told her with a smile.
Buffy sat up in her old bed and looked around her room. Her shelves were still covered with her stuffed toys that her mother must have found in the old crates in the garage.
"I'm sorry for being such a burden. The last thing a mother needs is her twenty-nine year-old daughter to come back home crying like a baby." Buffy said as she dried her tears.
Mrs Summers shook her head. "No! You are always welcome here. The same goes for Xander. Okay?"
"Okay," Buffy smiled. "But I don't think Xander will be coming here. He hates Sunnydale as much as he hates Angel."
Joyce was unsure of what to make of this. "Why?"
"He told me that this town was where he was born. Where he grew up. With Willow." Buffy said her name with bitterness.
The alarm went off and it slowly woke Xander up in his huge, expensive bed. His eyes focused on a framed picture of Cordelia that he put on his teakwood dresser before he went to sleep last night. Xander instantly regretted seeing her as he began to feel his depression once more. He knocked the picture off the nightstand with his arm, listening as the framed photo hit the carpeted floor with a small thud.
Xander got out of bed and walked into the bathroom. He turned on the faucet and then stared at his own reflection in the big bathroom's mirror, as the sound of running water filled the room. The dark haired man reached for the toothpaste and his toothbrush, briefly touching Cordelia's toothbrush as he pulled his out of the toothbrush holder. Xander cast a glance at her toothbrush and quickly looked elsewhere as more memories began to haunt him.
Mechanically he began to brush his teeth. Xander did it in the same manner that he brushed his teeth every day for the past twenty nine years. After he finished in the bathroom, Xander walked back into his bedroom to change into his normal day clothes, eyeing his silk pajamas that were strewn on the floor from last night. Sighing, he opened his closet and looked inside. He looked at all the Armani suits hanging in his huge closet and chuckled with bitterness in his voice. Xander closed the door and walked over to his drawer cabinet, opened it and pulled out a simple black shirt and slipped it on. He found track suit pants that he wore on his days off with Cordelia and put those on too.
Without warning, the phone rang in his apartment. It startled Xander who ran out of his bedroom and raced to the phone in the living room. For a couple of minutes he thought that it would actually be Cordelia, pleading to come back. But after he saw her do what she did to keep her vampire lover alive, he doubted it. And even if it was her on the phone, would Xander want her like that? God knows what she was now. Would she be human? Would she be a vampire? All Xander knew is that he didn't want to stick around and watch Angel rub it in his face. He knew that Angel wouldn't resist twisting the proverbial knife in further with the fact that he took another woman he loved away from him.
It was part of the reason why Xander absolutely hated him.
Xander picked up his phone when he realized that he took out the answering machine last night in a fit of rage. Secretly he hoped that the caller was no one that he didn't want to talk to.
"Hello?" Xander asked as he spoke into the phone.
"Xander? Is that you?" It was Buffy.
Xander visibly relaxed when he realized that it was Buffy Summers on the other end. He picked up the cordless phone and headed over to the living room couch and sat down. Xander reached for the remote and turned on the big screen television where an old episode of 'Animaniacs' was showing.
"Yeah, it's me. Who else would it be?" Xander said with a dark tone in his voice.
Buffy sighed. "I was just checking. You sound different on the phone. You know this is the first time that we've actually talked on the phone to each other?"
"Really?" Xander asked as he changed the channel. "Nice to know that I'm the first for something in a girl's life."
"What's that supposed to mean? Are you drunk?" Buffy asked with a slight touch of anger.
Xander chuckled bitterly. "Nope. Not drunk. Drinking killed my parents. Drinking leads to loneliness and isolation. Drinking IS A GODDAMN SIN!!!"
"That's it. I'm coming over." Buffy said with her mind made up.
"Don't waste your time. I'm not interested in visitors." Xander told her.
Xander could hear Buffy sigh on her end of the line. "I really don't think you should be alone right now. Trust me. I lost someone too, you know."
"You mention that frigging vampiric son of a bitch's name to me and I'll hang up. I swear to god I'll hang up. Not one frigging mention. Not one!" Xander yelled into the phone. He threw the remote at the television, turning the big screen tv off.
"Okay, I won't. I promise. Why don't you come over here? I'm staying at my mom's place for the time being. She'd love to have you over." Buffy said with a grin that Xander could feel over the phone.
"There's not going to be any surprises is there? Nothing in the guise of a red haired woman that was supposed to be our damn friend?" Xander asked icily.
"Definately not. Do you seriously think I'd let that bitch anywhere near me? I told my mother that I didn't want to talk to her either. So no one knows I'm here." Buffy said as she tried to convince him.
Xander finally gave in to his best friend's request. "Okay, okay. I'll come over."
"Good. I'll see you soon?"
"Yeah."
"Okay. I'll be waiting." Buffy said as they said their goodbyes and hung up their phones. Xander got up and put his cordless phone back in it's cradle and stared at his television. He bent down and picked up his remote and noted that the batteries had fallen out when he threw it.
"So, is he coming?" Joyce asked her daughter.
Buffy stared in her mother's direction and nodded. "Yeah. But prepare yourself. I don't think he was in the mood to go anywhere. He forgets that I lost someone too out of all this."
"He's hurting just like you are. People usually think about themselves in times like that. I remember when I thought Ted was dead. I just wanted to shut the world out." Joyce admitted.
"You never told me that." Buffy said in surprise.
Joyce shrugged. "What, do you actually expect me to say something like that after it happened? That's the last thing you wanted to hear. And when I found out that Ted was a robot, I wanted to repress all those memories."
Buffy smiled.
"Is that a smile?" Joyce asked.
Buffy's smile faltered. "I just hope that you're not planning on setting me up with any single guys. I can't be bothered putting in all that effort into another relationship."
Joyce sat down and hugged her daughter. "Oh, Buffy. Someday you'll find someone. Somebody that's a hell of a lot better than that Angel character."
"What's wrong with Angel?" Buffy asked in defence.
Joyce gave Buffy a disbelieving look. "Don't you remember all the hell and angst that he put you through? That vampire was no good for you at all. David was a nice man. Why didn't that work out?"
"One word." Buffy replied.
"Angel." Buffy and Joyce answered in unison. Joyce shook her head sadly.
"He's given you nothing but pain. No one is worth all that. That's why your father and I didn't stay married." Joyce told her.
Buffy nodded in agreement. "Yeah. Well, I guess that bitch Cordelia can handle all his guilt and anguish now."
Joyce nodded and patted Buffy's arm gently. "See? That's the ticket."
"Just don't mention those two to Xander when he comes over today. Especially Willow. Don't mention that skank to her either. He sounded really pissed off over the phone, so don't expect him to be cheery." Buffy told her.
"Well, just like you, Xander should find someone better. Maybe..." Joyce started but Buffy cut her off.
"No. Don't even think it." Buffy said quickly.
"But Xander's a nice guy. He's funny, you two have a history together, he's rich." Joyce said, trying to convince her daughter.
Buffy sighed. "I am not interested in Xander Harris."
i've become impossible
holding on to when
when everything seemed to matter more
the two of us
all used and beaten up
watching fate as it flows down the path we
have chose
awake to the sound as they peel apart the skin
they pick and they pull
trying to get their fingers in
well they've got to kill what we found
well they've got to hate what they fear
well they've got to make it go away
well they've got to make it disappear
the farther i fall i'm beside you
as lost as i get i will find you
the deeper the wound i'm inside you
for ever and ever i am a part of
you and me
we're in this together now
none of them can stop us now
we will make it through somehow
you and me
if the world should break in two
until the very end of me
until the very end of you
all that we were is gone we have to hold on
all that we were is gone we have to hold on
when all our hope is gone we have to hold on
all that we were is gone we have to hold on
you and me
we're in this together now
none of them can stop us now
we will make it through somehow
you and me
even after everything
you're the queen and i'm the king
nothing else mean anything
Xander drove through Sunnydale glancing at the store windows as he passed them. The 'April Fools' clothing store where Cordelia worked to get her prom dress was now gone. Replaced by a bakery store. Xander sighed as he realized that this town had changed as much as he had. He drove past the school and noted that it had been rebuilt, looking more futuristic than it was before he and the others blew it up with the Mayor inside.
Before he knew it, Xander was thinking back to the days he had as a teenager as nostalgia hit.
"Olivia! Have you seen my car keys?" Giles yelled out to his wife who was in the bedroom, putting away fresh clothes.
"Where are you going?!?" Olivia yelled back.
Giles shrugged to himself before he yelled back. "I'm going to visit Joyce again. Maybe she heard from them!"
Giles waited a couple of minutes until his wife came down the stairs and gave him a sad smile.
"Why do you do this to yourself?" She asked him.
"They're my responsibility." Giles answered.
"Not anymore. Next year, they'll be thirty years old. It's time they lived their own lives, no matter where they are." Olivia told him.
Giles shook his head in denial and smiled when he found his car keys.
"You don't have to go right this minute do you?" She asked him softly.
Giles shrugged. "No, not really."
"Well," Olivia started. "We can always go upstairs and fool around. We never DID complete our baby making mission, you know."
Giles smiled and they walked up the stairs to their bedroom together.
A knock on the door brought Buffy out of the kitchen. She walked over to the front door and opened it, revealing Xander. He smiled slightly and she waved him on in.
"Xander. So good to see you. I haven't seen you in years." Joyce said as she saw Xander for the first time in ages.
"Down, Mom." Buffy muttered. Softly enough so that only Joyce heard it.
Xander nodded to Joyce's remarks. "I kind of got caught up with my life. It's not easy being a lawyer."
"But I'm betting the pay is good." Joyce smiled.
"Yeah it is. It's just that some people don't care about the money." Xander said as he thought of Cordelia's attitude concerning his wealth.
Buffy noticed him trailing off and realised that he must be thinking about Cordelia again. She couldn't believe that he was still hung up on that witch.
"Xander, you want a drink?" Buffy asked him.
"You got any Scotch?" Xander asked the both of them.
Buffy looked at him in surprise. "I thought you didn't drink alcohol."
"Well, I figured, why not?" Xander said to the two women.
Buffy looked at her mother and Joyce pointed to the liquor cabinet. "There should be some in there."
Buffy went over to the cabinet and after some searching, found a bottle of Scotch. She walked over to the kitchen and poured three drinks. Buffy decided she wanted to try it too.
"Xander, have you eaten?" Joyce asked him.
"No. Why?" Xander asked back.
"It's just that you look real skinny. You used to eat me out of house and home." Joyce said as she remembered.
"I was a different person back then." Xander replied sadly. He smiled when Buffy handed him a glass of Scotch.
Buffy gave him a look before asking what was on her mind since the phone call. "So, why were you so angry over the phone this morning?"
"I'm not a morning person." Xander joked.
"No really. 'A first time for a girl'? What was that about?" Buffy asked him again.
Xander shook his head before he drank some of the contents out of his glass.
"It's not something I want to talk about now. Maybe later if I feel up to it."
"Fine" Buffy said. She wasn't about to let her friend off the hook yet.
While they were talking they didn't hear someone knocking at the door, but Joyce did, and she went to answer it. It took Buffy and Xander a while to realize that Joyce was missing, but when they did, they turned around and saw her with someone they had wanted to avoid since the pair came back into town.
Giles.
"Buffy? Xander?" Giles asked in surprise as he stared at the two young adults in Joyce's house.
"Hey Giles." Buffy said softly, while Xander looked away from the older man.
"Are you both alright? We've been looking everywhere for you." Giles asked them and Buffy shrugged a response.
"Xander?" Giles asked the young man. "Are you okay?"
Xander faced the Watcher. "No, I'm not okay. What are you doing here anyway? I asked for no surprises. Is this some sort of a sting?"
Buffy shook her head along with her mother. "No it isn't. I didn't know anyone was coming."
Xander shook his head disbelievingly. "Yeah right. I don't care anyway. I'm out of here."
Xander put down his empty glass of scotch on the table and walked out of the house, despite the other's objections.
"Xander wait!" Buffy yelled out, but it was too late. Xander was already in his car and had driven off before Buffy could reach him.
"Dammit!" Buffy exclaimed. She turned around and saw Giles and her mother standing on the front porch, staring at her and the spot where Xander was. Buffy walked back to the house and squeezed in past her mother and Giles.
"What's wrong with Xander?" Giles asked his former slayer.
"He's still in love with that bitch Cordelia. What else?" Buffy said angrily as she drank the rest of the scotch in one gulp.
Giles was worried. "Where have you been?"
"New Mexico and Florida. As far away as we could get. Xander was alright when we were on the road. I guess when we came back, reality hit. It hit us both hard." Buffy explained.
Giles watched her. "If it's any consolation, I'm sorry for the way it turned out."
"Yeah. Not as sorry as I am. I should have figured it would turn out like that. How could I compete with ten years?" Buffy asked him.
Giles shrugged. "I don't know. It's obvious that they've been in love for a couple of years..."
"Do you mind? I'd rather not talk about them." Buffy said, cutting him off in mid-sentence.
Giles nodded. "Okay. Well, Oz and Willow drove back to..."
"I don't want to hear about HER either. And I wouldn't mention her or Angel's name to Xander either. He hates them both." Buffy told him, once more interrupting him.
Giles sat down on a spare seat and nodded. "Is there anything we can talk about then?"
"I don't know. What about Sunnydale? Who's taking care of it?" Buffy asked him.
"A slayer by the name of Jamie. I don't know much about her Watcher though. Just that he's some pretentious smug-faced idiot named Wesley." Giles said to them.
Buffy laughed softly. "Same old Giles. No one is better at Watching than you."
"I was a good Watcher. Until those buffoons fired me. Oh by the way, I might be a father soon." Giles told her.
"Yeah, I know. Mom told me about the baby business." Buffy explained to him.
Giles nodded and all three of them sat there, not saying a word. "So," Giles started. "Why didn't you come to see me after Angel was cured. I haven't seen you properly since your wedding to David all those years ago."
"Because I didn't want to stick around. Neither did Xander. He suggested that we leave in his car and I agreed. I don't like this town much anyway. There are too many unpleasant memories." Buffy told them.
Giles nodded sadly. "How long are you staying for?"
"I'm not sure yet. I want to make sure Xander's doing okay until I take off. And I need to find work soon."
"Well, I run a bookstore now. I need a new person to run the stocktake and file work orders. What do you say?" Giles asked with a smile.
Buffy was beaming. "Yeah, that would be great. But could you do me a favor?"
"Yeah, sure." Giles said to her.
"Don't tell the others where I am. Or where Xander is. We don't want them to know. It's none of their business." Buffy said harshly.
Giles sighed. "Buffy, Willow and Oz care about you and Xander. So does Angel and Cordelia."
"Yeah right. I can just see Angel worrying about what happened to Xander." Buffy said with sarcasm.
Giles nodded. "You'd be surprised. Xander DID help to save him."
"Yeah, he only did it for Cordelia. He would do anything for her. His whole life was designed for her. His career, his success. It was all for her. And now that she's gone, Xander's feeling lost. No wonder he's taking it harder than I am." Buffy said as she thought about it.
"Mr. Harris. Welcome back. Are you okay?" Stacey Griffith asked as she greeted him with a concerned expression. Stacey was the secretary at the 'Simon and Finch' lawfirm that Xander worked at in Los Angeles.
Xander turned toward the pretty, nineteen year old secretary and smiled. "I'm okay I guess. Thanks for asking. It's good to be back."
"Where have you been?" Stacey asked him.
"Florida mostly. I also went to Roswell." Xander told her.
"Roswell? Wow. Is it anything like that old sci-fi show that used to be on the WB network?" she asked.
Xander chuckled despite himself. "Kind of. But I didn't see any aliens."
"That's a shame. The government probably has the aliens somewhere else." Stacey said with a grin.
"Yeah, that would be it." Xander said with a nod.
A man came out of the nearest office and spotted Xander talking to the secretary. "Hey, Xander! Come here for a sec."
Xander turned around and spotted Mike Davis. He waved goodbye to Stacey and walked towards Mike and the both of them went into Mike's office. Mike sat down in his seat and waved Xander down to sit in one of the spare seats next to his desk. Xander sat down and waited for him to say something.
"So, did you have a good vacation?" Mike asked.
"Yeah, it was okay." Xander replied.
Mike nodded and then shook his head. "Do you know that we have been inundated with calls about you?"
"About me? Who called?" Xander asked as he thought of Cordelia.
Mike looked at the list of names on his desk. "Four from Rupert Giles and five from Willow Osborne. They were extremely worried about you. They thought that you were suicidal or something."
Xander laughed. "Do I look like I'm suicidal?"
"No you don't. So, what's going to happen to the account with Cordelia Chase? Are you going to continue to be her accountant or what?" Mike asked him.
Xander looked at his hands and then faced his colleague. "No, I don't think so. I don't really want to bump into her anymore. I'm sure someone else can take over for me."
"I think that WOULD be for the best. I mean we have to look out for this company first, don't we?" Mike said with a smile.
"Yeah."
Xander stared at the framed photos of Mike and his wife and kids. The guy was thirty one and he already had a wife and kids. It made Xander feel like a loser. And he couldn't handle any more depression. Unfortunately, Mike caught Xander looking at the photos and smiled.
"Say, you want to come over to my place for dinner? My wife makes a mean spaghetti and meatballs." Mike grinned.
Xander shook his head. "No thanks. I just want to go home and get some rest."
"You're coming back for work next week aren't you?" Mike asked.
Xander shrugged. "Maybe. I've been thinking of quitting though. I only did this to impress Cordelia. Now that she's left me for someone better, this whole thing doesn't seem worth it."
"You can't base your whole life around someone. That's ridiculous."
"Thank you for that. I really needed it." Xander said with sarcasm.
"Well," Mike said as he wanted to change the subject. "I think Stacey likes you. I can't get her to stop talking about you."
Xander smiled. "Well, Stacey is a nice kid. But I'm ten years older."
"So what? Dating a nineteen year old would have to be better than dating a twenty nine year old, right?" Mike argued.
"You can be such a pig sometimes. It's a wonder you're still married." Xander said with a smile.
"Yeah well what can I say? I'm irresistible." Mike said as Xander stood up out of his seat and left the room after telling him he'd see him later.
"Take care alright?!?" Mike yelled out to Xander as he disappeared down the hallway after passing Stacey.
Xander walked out of the building and stayed under cover as rain fell from the sky. The weather had been lousy ever since he and Buffy got back from their vacation. Xander waited for the rain to clear as he stood back and watched people pass him on the busy L.A. street.
Finally annoyed with waiting for the rain to stop, Xander walked out into the pouring rain. He headed to his car and got inside it, sheltering himself from the pelting rain. Thunder reverberated through the heavens as the sky continued to pour. Xander turned on his car radio and listened to an old song by Carl Thomas.
Summer rain
Whispers me to sleep
And wakes me up again
Sometimes I swear I hear her call my name
To wash away the pain
My summer rain
In the middle of the night when i'm alone
I feel her kisses onme even when she's gone
Can't wait till she gets home
Summer rain
Whispers me to sleep
And wakes me up again
Sometimes I swear I hear her call my name
To wash away the pain
My summer rain
Xander started his car and drove away, not noticing that Allan Francis Doyle saw him as he walked out of the local pub.
"He's back." Doyle whispered to himself as he thought about what he should do.
Penn walked back and forth in the abandoned factory, waiting for his children to come back. In the meantime, he was busy talking to a vampire that he had a history with.
"And you're telling me you want to be a part of the former slayer's death?" Penn asked him.
"Yeah, that's right. Do I need to repeat myself?" The vampire said in the darkness.
Penn looked at him. "I don't really need another cohort. I already have two working for me."
"Maria and Kyle? They're morons. Buffy'll kill you in a heartbeat with those two dickheads in town."
Penn smiled. "What are you going to get out of this?"
"I'll be getting what I dreamed of for so long. Buffy's head on a stick," the hidden vampire told him.
Penn walked closer to the vampire and smiled. "If you doublecross me, you'll have more problems to worry about than Buffy and Angelus."
"Don't worry. I just want her dead. And Angel too, if that's on the menu." Spike said with an evil grin.
Xander drove around Los Angeles in a mindless haze. He wasn't ready to go home and he certainly wasn't ready to go back to Sunnydale. Xander knew that he might have overreacted when he saw Giles there, but he didn't want to see anyone else. He had made that absolutely clear to Buffy. He didn't have to see anyone if he didn't have to.
As he drove around the City Of Angels aimlessly, he purposefully avoided the area that Cordelia and the others lived in. The last thing he wanted to see was a gloating Angel who had taken one more woman away from him.
"I had better get used to this isolation." Xander told himself in the car as he parked outside the main beach, where he could see the ocean. Because it was raining heavily, there weren't as many surfers out there. Of course, there were still a couple of crazed ones still out there hitting the waves. Xander changed the radio and listened to a song that he hadn't heard in years.
Three hours later, Xander was driving back to his house. He had driven around Los Angeles, looking through stores after the rain had stopped. But now he was bored, and just wanted to go to sleep. Xander drove back to his house and stopped his car in the street as he noticed a small truck parked in his driveway.
Xander crinkled his eyebrows in curiosity as he tried to figure out who the hell would park that thing in his driveway. Walking closer up to his house, he noticed the front door was slightly open. Xander walked inside his home slowly and quietly, hoping to catch the house-robber in the act.
He walked into his living room and saw a couple of big boxes. He went to have a look inside at the contents and was surprised to see that it was filled with Cordelia's belongings. Xander heard noises as someone was walking around in the other room. Xander relaxed somewhat as he realized it was Cordelia's friend, Doyle.
"What the hell are you doing in my house?" Xander asked him angrily.
Doyle felt guilty for coming in and taking away the belongings of someone that Xander loved. He knew what it was like, but it had to be done.
"I wanted to do this while you weren't home. That way it would be less painful for you." Doyle answered as he put the box he was holding onto on the floor with the other two boxes.
"Let's get something straight here, fella. I don't know you and you sure as shit don't know me. The only connection we have is Cordelia, and she isn't here to stop me from laying you out all over my carpet." Xander threatened him.
Doyle sighed softly. "What did you expect? You should have realized that Cordy would have wanted her stuff back one day. I figured it would be less painful if I was the one that was doing this. I'm pretty sure that you wouldn't have wanted Angel or Cordelia doing it."
"That's some pretty smart thinking. You do know that I could kill you right now." Xander said as he picked up a baseball bat and tapped it against his leg for emphasis. Doyle watched him carefully, ready for anything.
"Why would you do something like that?" Doyle asked slowly.
"I come home and find a strange truck in my driveway. I find the front door slightly open. I walk into my home that I live in by myself and find a guy I hardly know with possessions from MY house in boxes, ready for shipping somewhere else. Naturally, I had to smash your brains out all over my damn wall." Xander said as he tapped the baseball bat harder.
Doyle backed away from the twenty-nine year-old man. Even though he was older than Xander, he was unsure of how good Xander was in a fight. From what Cordelia told him, Xander was a lover and not a fighter. This wasn't quite the case here. But what did he expect? Xander had lost it all and had nothing else to lose.
"I know how you feel, man. I lost someone I loved too. It was my fault." Doyle told him as he backed away from the boxes and Xander.
Xander threw the baseball bat to the side of the room and simply stared back at Cordelia's L.A friend. "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. I didn't want her to know that I was a demon."
"You're a demon?"
"I'm half-demon. The rest of me is human." Doyle grinned.
Xander was angry. "You're a demon? Cordelia never told me anything. She invited you into my goddamn house when she knew what you are"
"Now hold on just a second. I'm not a vampire. I'm a Brachen demon. A good demon. And believe you me, I was just as shocked and outraged when I found out what I was." Doyle said, trying to calm Xander down.
Xander shrugged his shoulders angrily. "I don't care if you're William Wallace's descendant. I WANT YOU OUT OF MY GODDAMN HOUSE"
Doyle flinched as Xander yelled at him with a loud booming voice. "I'm not leaving without Cordelia's things. She needs them."
"They...stay...here. You're the one that's leaving." Xander said as he walked towards Doyle.
Doyle backed up further. "I don't want to fight you, buddy."
"I'm not your buddy." Xander said as he slugged him in the face hard, sending Doyle backwards into the wall. Doyle charged towards Xander and knocked him to the floor. He was about to kick him, when Xander grabbed his leg with one hand and knocked his other leg out from under him, causing him to fall to the floor.
Xander got up off the floor and leaned over Doyle. He hit the Irish half-demon several times in the face, before he stood up and kicked him in the stomach. Doyle lurched inward as Xander winded him. Xander walked away from Doyle and into the kitchen to get a drink from the fridge.
"Take her stuff and get out of my goddamn house. Send Angel my regards." Xander said with a smile as he heard Doyle get up off the carpeted floor and carry the boxes out of the house, where he unloaded them onto the truck.
Xander stood on the front porch as he watched Doyle painfully climb into the driver's seat in the truck. He grinned as he watched one of the people that caused him grief, disappear from his life.
Doyle sighed as he stopped the truck outside Buffy's mother's house. He had no idea where Buffy was staying, but he had a feeling that she might contact or move back in with her mother, so he tried that out. The Irish half-demon felt the bruises on his face and stomach. He knew that he would be getting a black eye from the altercation he had with Xander.
He got out of the truck and walked up to the Summers' home with Buffy's boxes. Doyle knocked on the door and waited for awhile. It didn't take long until Buffy opened the door and stood still in surprise at Doyle.
"Doyle? What are you doing here? Is Angel alright? What the hell happened to you?" Buffy asked in concern.
"So many questions. Angel's fine. Xander happened to me. I just thought it would be best if I would be the one to return your stuff. I figured it would hurt more if one of the others did it." Doyle said as he pointed to her boxes on the ground. He secretly hoped that Buffy didn't hit him. She was the Slayer, and Slayer's have a lot more strength than any normal person. It wouldn't surprise him if she did hit him. He wasn't very accomodating with Buffy during her few month stay in Los Angeles.
"I see. Well...bring it in." Buffy said as she waved him inside. Doyle leant down and picked up the boxes, bring them in with him.
Buffy was confused. "I know that Xander's taking it a little bit rougher than I am, but I still can't believe that he's capable of doing that."
"Believe it. I guess I do deserve it though. In a way, I was the one that took Cordelia away from him. I was the one that showed up at his place three months ago to tell her that Angel was dying." Doyle explained.
Buffy shook her head. "That's still no excuse."
"Doesn't matter anyway. I'm usually a fast healer. Usually."
Buffy suddenly realized something. "How did you know I was here? Does anyone else know where Xander and I are?"
"I didn't know you were here. I was just going to drop off your things with your mother. In case you came back here. And uh...Angel and Cordy already know you two are back. I kinda told 'em when I saw Xander in Los Angeles earlier today." Doyle said with guilt.
Buffy shook her head. "I don't want them to come here. I don't want to see either of them, you got me?"
"I got ya. Just don't hit me." Doyle asked. He was worried that she would do the same thing to him that Xander did. Doyle had no idea that Xander had it in him. From what he saw three months ago, he looked like a moron. Sometimes looks can be deceiving.
"I won't hit you. I have to go."
"Well, I best be off too. I got a date with this chick I met at the pub a couple of days ago." Doyle said as he walked toward the door with Buffy.
"Isn't she going to wonder what happened to your face?" Buffy asked him.
Doyle shrugged. "I'll just tell her that several guys beat the living shit out of me."
Buffy laughed softly, forgetting her pain.
Xander sat at home on his couch flicking through endless channels on his television. As soon as Doyle had left his house, Xander went to his room and checked Cordelia's closet. He found it empty and it brought tears to his eyes. He fell to the ground as he silently wept over the woman he had lost.
But now he was back in the living room, trying to find a good television show to watch. So far he didn't find any. The doorbell rang and Xander simply turned his head in the direction of the sound.
"Who is it??" Xander called out from his seat.
"It's Buffy" She yelled back.
"Come on in"
Buffy opened the front door and stepped inside. She found Xander in his living room with his remote control in his hand. The contents of the living room was almost non-existant. Apparently most of the stuff in the living room belonged to Cordelia.
"Doyle stopped by my house. He gave me my things back." Buffy started a conversation.
"That's nice." Xander said as he kept flicking through channels. "Did he have nice things to say about me?"
"So you DID hit him. Why'd you do that?"
Xander shrugged. "The guy pissed me off. He pissed me off three months ago, thinking he's so goddamn cool. Do you believe that that freak broke into my house and started taking Cordelia's things. Out of my house??"
"What are you talking about?" Buffy asked him as she sat down.
"I came back from driving around and I found a truck in my driveway. I found Doyle going through my house, taking Cordy's things. The only thing I have left of her now are pictures that will eventually fade in time." Xander said as he felt tears threaten to burst.
"It's okay." Buffy soothed.
"No. No, it's not okay. My life's in ruins. Look at this place. There's an echo in here, it's so empty. I've lost Cordelia to a frigging vampire. I've got a job that I dislike. The only thing I have left is my memories." Xander said in tears as Buffy hugged him.
"We'll get through it. We'll BOTH get through this. Together." Buffy said as she ran a hand through Xander's dark hair.
He sniffed away his tears and moved away from her. He reached back for his remote and resumed flicking through channels.
"I didn't mean to get like that. Sorry for wimping out." Xander told her as he dried his eyes.
"Don't be. I don't think it's such a great idea for you to be living here on your own. I'm sure the memories here are intense."
"Where am I supposed to go?" Xander asked her.
Buffy shrugged. "You could always move back to Sunnydale for awhile. I know my mother would like to have you around. So does Giles. What happened in Los Angeles wasn't his fault."
"I know that. I didn't want him to know because if he knew where I was, then he would contact Oz and his bitch. And she's one of the last people that I want to see again." Xander said with anger.
Buffy nodded. "I know. Giles gave me his word that he wouldn't tell Willow and Oz. Or anyone else where we were."
"Good."
Willow sat down on the couch as she watched Oz talk into the phone in the kitchen. She had no idea who was calling this late at night, but by the look on her husband's face it was something serious.
She waited until Oz got off the phone before she asked him what was going on.
"Who was it?" She asked him.
Oz looked at her. He was unsure of how he was going to say this.
"That was Cordelia."
"Oh yeah? How's she doing? Is the wedding planning going well?" Willow asked him with a grin.
Oz nodded. "Yeah, it's going great. That's not the reason why she called though."
"What was it? What's going on?" Willow asked in concern.
Oz looked at her. "Doyle got into a huge fight. With Xander."
"Xander??" Willow asked as her eyes lit up. "Xander's there??"
"Xander's still living at the house he shared with Cordelia. Buffy's moved back in with her mother." Oz explained.
"Buffy's back too? Why didn't anyone call and tell us?" Willow asked in a concerned tone.
"I don't know." Oz said with a shake of his head.
Willow stood up off the couch. "Well, we have to go back."
"To Sunnydale? I don't think that's such a good idea. If Buffy and Xander wanted to talk to you, they would have called." Oz told her.
"I don't care. I have to see them. We can ask your sister to babysit Ruppy, we'll take Priscilla with us." Willow told him.
Oz sighed. "I just hope that you're not getting your hopes up about this. They didn't seem too friendly. Cordelia said that Xander beat Doyle up pretty badly."
"I don't believe that Xander would do that." Willow said indignantly.
Oz sighed. "At any rate, that's something that Angel and Cordelia DEFINATELY do NOT need to worry about now."
"Why? What's going on?" Willow asked with worry.
Willow, Oz and their daughter Priscilla were in their family car heading to Sunnydale. The drive had been a couple of hours, but Willow believed it would be well worth it. She desperately wanted forgiveness from Xander and Buffy, and she wasn't going to give up until she got it.
She didn't want them to hate her. If she had known that the request that Cordelia and Angel had made all those years ago, would have a serious effect like this, she would have said no.
She thought of her childhood friend and wondered what he was up to and where he had been. The last conversation she had with him was in Los Angeles. Thinking back to that conversation, she feared that Xander might do something crazy like take his own life. And she was also worried about Buffy. The ONLY female friend she ever had in high school. All those times she listened to Buffy talk about Angel's quirks, loomed in her memory.
Her thoughts were disrupted as Oz stopped the car.
"We're here." Oz told her as Willow realized that they were in Sunnydale at her mother's house.
"Okay. Priscilla, honey wake up. We're here at Grandma's." Willow said as she gently urged her daughter to wake up.
Priscilla stirred from her sleep and slowly looked around. "Where are we?"
"We're in Sunnydale." Oz told her before he got out of the car and and opened the car door to get to his daughter. He undid the seatbelt and picked her up in his arms as Willow got out of the car and took in her old house.
"It's just like I remember. Do you think she'll be glad to see us?" Willow asked him.
Oz nodded. "Your mother hasn't seen her granddaughter in months."
Giles opened the bookstore and let Buffy in to look around. "This place is ten times bigger than the library at school!" she exclaimed.
"Yeah it's perfect. I'm right at home here. Of course the demonology books are safely in the back." Giles said with a grin.
"Do you train Jamie in here when it's empty?" Buffy asked him as several customers walked by.
Giles shook his head. "I've never met her. Jamie has her own Watcher and he trains her somewhere else. I offered this place to them, but he turned it down."
"That's his loss." Buffy told him.
"Definately."
Buffy looked around the large bookstore. "I'm supposed to stocktake all this?"
"I know it looks like a lot of work but it isn't. The work orders will keep you even more busy," Giles said with a grin as he walked behind the counter.
Xander walked into the store and found Buffy and Giles. They smiled at him when they saw him enter.
"Xander, it's good to see you." Giles greeted him.
Xander nodded. "I just came to apologize for taking off the other day. I just didn't want anyone to know where I was."
"I know, Buffy told me. I haven't told Willow and Oz or anyone else. But they ARE worried about you two." Giles told them.
Xander shook his head. "I don't care. I don't want to see Willow at all after what she did. Betraying the both of us for five years. Five years." He sighed. "Anyway, I didn't come here to talk about that little witch. I came here to see the store. Joyce told me about your job here when I stopped by today."
Buffy nodded. "Is this place big or what?"
"It's not the size that matters, it's what you do with it that counts." Xander joked as Buffy lightly hit him in the arm. Giles watched them joke around and for awhile he realized that they have temporarily forgotten their pain and heartache and returned to their old happy lives.
"So have you given anymore thought to moving back here?" Buffy asked him. Xander nodded and shook his head.
"I've thought about it. I'm still not sure."
Buffy looked at him. "C'mon. Don't you want a clean break? Find a place that you didn't share with that... fiance of yours? I've seen your living room Xander. It's practically empty except for your television and couches. I didn't know Cordelia owned all the other things."
"She didn't. I just sold them."
"Why?"
"Why not? I wanted the money." Xander answered simply.
Buffy stared at him in surprise. "Xander, no one I know has ever sold everything in their living room simply to get more money in their wallets. And I didn't think you needed the money."
"I don't. I just felt like getting rid of it, okay?" Xander said harshly.
Buffy just held her hands up in a form of protest. "Okay, okay, fine. I'm just worried about you that's all. I don't want to see you throwing your life away."
"Well, beating up that Doyle guy has brought back some good memories." Xander said with a grin as he punched the air, mimmicking what he did to the Brachen demon.
Buffy shook her head with a smile and Giles was shocked. "You hit Doyle? Why?"
"It's a long story." Buffy told her former Watcher.
Willow and Oz walked out of Willow's mother's house where her mother was taking care of Priscilla until they return.
"So, who do we visit first?" Willow asked her husband.
Oz thought it over. "How about I go see Xander, while you see Buffy. But I don't like your chances. They seem pretty upset with you."
"I have to do something. They're my best friends. Cordelia and Angel are my friends too. I just hate being caught in the middle." Willow told him.
Oz nodded. "Cordy and Angel say that Xander and Buffy shouldn't be upset with you for long."
"Are you going to tell Xander about Cordelia?" Willow asked him as she remembered what Oz told her last night.
Oz shook his head in denial. "I don't think so. I might bring it up, but I don't want to add anymore stress for him."
Willow nodded as Oz got in their car. "Aren't you getting in?"
"Buffy's house isn't far from here. I can walk it. But you're going to need to drive to get to Xander's house." Willow told him as Oz kissed her goodbye and drove off towards Xander's place in Los Angeles. Willow sighed and started walking towards Buffy's house. Hoping against hope that Buffy would forgive her for what she did.
Joyce Summers heard the knocking at her front door and went to answer it. The good mood she was in disappeared when she saw Willow standing there on her doorstep.
"You have a lot of nerve coming back here." Joyce said to her coldly.
"I um...Uh, I came to see Buffy. There's a lot I have to explain." Willow said in a meek voice.
Mrs Summers didn't want anything to do with this. "Buffy doesn't want to talk to you. Neither does Xander. I just got my daughter back and your being here will most likely send her away. Don't you DARE do anything that will make me lose my daughter, do you hear me?"
Willow looked to the ground as tears formed in her eyes. "I didn't want to hurt her."
"Well you did. What the hell did you expect when you lied to them for years? You betrayed them in the worst way and I truly doubt they will ever forgive you. I think it would be best if you just got the hell out of town and never come back. Give them some peace. Haven't they lost enough?" Joyce asked the twenty nine year old Wiccan.
Willow nodded. "They deserve a lot. They deserve more than being with people that treat them as second best."
"They hate you. Both of them have asked me and Giles to keep their being back in Sunnydale a secret and we have. Now you're going to come here and drive them away. If I lose my baby again because of you, so help me I'll make your life a living hell!" Joyce said as she slammed the door in Willow's face. The older woman ignored the sobs coming from the other side of the door and walked back into the kitchen to finish her coffee.
Oz was sitting in his car and was waiting for Xander to return to his home. He drummed the steering wheel as he was starting to get a little bored. Xander's street was quiet as his neighbours were most likely at work at this time. It was a bright sunny day and Oz was spending it inside his car, waiting for someone he knew wouldn't be happy to see him.
Oz stopped tapping on the steering wheel when he saw Xander's car drive up the road and into the driveway. Oz smiled, as he knew that he would be seeing Xander again. But his smile faded because he also knew that Xander wouldn't be friendly. If Doyle was any indication, Oz would have to be careful with what he said around him.
Xander got out of his car and was walking up to his house when he got the sensation that he was being watched. He turned around and saw Oz approach him from across the road. Xander quickly turned the key in his front door and walked inside. After visiting Buffy and Giles, he decided to come back home and relax for awhile. He was about to close the door when Oz blocked the door from closing.
"Can we talk? Please?" Oz asked him.
Xander opened the door. "This might be a dumb question, but how did you know I was back? Giles and Joyce gave me their word they wouldn't tell anyone."
"Cordelia told us. After Doyle returned to them bruised and battered." Oz explained.
Xander smirked and opened the door wider. "Are you alone?"
"Yeah, Willow's in Sunnydale trying to talk to Buffy."
"Poor Buffy. I hope that you don't plan on sending her my way. Because I'll throw her out on her ass." Xander said angrily.
Oz was surprised that Xander was talking like that about one of his best friends. Then again he did expect something like this.
"It wasn't her fault, Xander." Oz said in defence of his wife.
Xander shook his head. "If Willow told me and Buffy that Angel and Cordelia wanted to be together, we could have gone there to stop it. I could have told Cordelia that I loved her. It would have kept her away from Angel's clawed clutches. But no, I had to find the two of them in bathrobes sharing the same hotel room after your wedding ceremony."
"I'm sorry it turned out the way that it did." Oz replied sadly.
Xander nodded. "I'm sure Willow isn't. I bet she just loves knowing that I'm single once again. I mean, if she can't have me then no one can."
Oz was shocked. "Willow is NOT still in love with you. She's married to me. We have two kids. Her crush on you is over."
"You'd like to think that wouldn't you? I know I'd like to think it. For years I've desperately wanted Willow to jump on someone else's back and leave me the hell alone. Have you ever stopped to think that she has NEVER liked any of my girlfriends? Ampata, Cordelia, Faith, Anya, the list goes on. I bet she REALLY hated Ampata. That girl really liked me as much as I liked her. And I bet it pissed her off to no end. See it wasn't the same situation with my feelings for Buffy. Willow had a chance then. But not with Ampata. She has never liked any of them, except for Cordelia. She likes Cordelia now. Now that she's not with me. Get what I'm saying?" Xander told him with a grim expression.
Oz looked at him. "That's a coincidence. She didn't like Cordelia because of the way she treated her in high school. Willow didn't like Anya because of the fact that Anya tried to kill her in the Bronze all those years ago. And Faith...well, Faith DID take her hostage."
Xander laughed. "Spike had us both hostage another time. He had a broken bottle to her throat and threatened to kill her many times. How come she doesn't hate him? She hated Faith because she found out that I gave my virginity to her, and it pissed her off. Willow started to hate her soon after that. It's no coincidence. It's a fucking fact."
Oz stared at the ground. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"
"Sure, come on in. At least you didn't break into my house like that freak did." Xander said as he waved the werewolf in.
Oz took a look around inside Xander's living room and found it bare. Except for the television and two couches, it was empty.
"Where's all your stuff? It couldn't have all belonged to Cordelia." Oz said in surprise.
Xander looked around before he sat down in his couch and turned the television on with his remote control.
"She didn't have much of anything. No matter how many times I tried to buy her something pretty and expensive, she'd turn it down. I lost her forever the minute I did that truly stupid kiss with your wife all those years ago." Xander finished with disgust.
Oz stared at him in pity. "Willow made the same mistake back then."
"Yeah, but she got away with it. How long was it until you took her back? Half a week? You should have let her suffer a lot, like what Cordelia did to me. Teach that bitch a lesson. You should have called her names and exposed all her dirty little secrets to everyone at school. WHY THE HELL DID YOU LET HER OFF THE FRIGGING HOOK?!?"
Oz backed away from Xander and sat down on the opposite end from the angry man that used to be full of stupid, inane jokes. Now he was full of rage and hatred. Hatred that was partially directed at Willow. The other part was obviously directed at Angel.
"It was my choice. My decision. I couldn't be apart from her, no matter what she did. Cordelia acted differently because that's how she is. She never opened up to anyone before you and she trusted you. Then she realized that you betrayed her. She lost her friends and popularity for you and you ended up cheating on her. I couldn't really blame her for not taking you back." Oz said honestly.
Xander stared at the mute television in silence. He let what Oz just said seep into his brain. He was responsible for driving her into the arms of a multiple mass murderer.
"What do you want?" Xander asked him.
"What do you mean?" Oz asked back.
Xander turned to face the husband of a woman Xander truly despised. "What...Do...You...Want...From...Me?"
Oz shrugged. "Nothing. I just wanted to check up on you. I haven't seen you since L.A. and I wanted to see if you're alright. We are friends afterall."
"We were never friends. That much I know. You're here because Willow asked you to. Am I wrong?" Xander asked sarcastically.
Oz watched the television. "No, you're not wrong. Willow DID send me over. But I wanted to see you first anyway. I wanted to know if you wanted to see her."
"I don't. Keep your wife away from me." Xander said darkly.
"Xander..."
"How many times do I have to fucking say it? I DON'T WANT TO SEE HER! I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO HER AT ALL!"
Oz nodded. "You don't have to yell, okay? By the way, Priscilla is in Sunnydale too. If you wanted to say hello to her that is. She can't stop talking about you. I was wondering maybe if you feel up to it, you might like to babysit her for me. You don't have to do it for Willow, just do it to see Priscilla again."
Xander shrugged as he turned the television off. "I don't know."
"That's okay. You don't have to decide right now. We did miss you. And about Cordelia, there's something you should know."
Xander stopped him with a wave of his hand. "I don't want to know about her, okay? I'm trying to move on without her. And after what she did to save that bastard vampire, I don't want to know her. The Cordelia I knew died the minute she became his bound."
Oz nodded. He realized it wasn't the time to tell him about Cordelia.
Buffy walked out of the bookstore that she started working in with Giles when she bumped into Willow.
"Buffy! I was looking everywhere for you." Willow said with a hopeful smile. She had stopped crying after leaving Mrs Summer's house and still decided to risk the odds and find Buffy.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Buffy asked her in a harsh tone.
Willow winced. "Cordelia told Oz and I where you and Xander were. She said that Doyle got beaten up by Xander, can you believe it?"
Buffy grinned. "Would it be any more unbelievable if I beat the living hell out of you as well?"
Willow's smile dropped. She studied her old friend before replying. "I'm sorry for the whole deal with Angel, but I had to do it."
"Had to do it? Had to? There's no 'had to' about it. You say no, and then tell me and Xander about what was going down. That's what friends do. They help each other out when times are tough. THEY DON'T STAB THEIR BEST FRIENDS IN THE FUCKING BACK!!!" Buffy screamed at her with so much rage that Willow backed away a few steps.
The Wiccan held back tears as she tried to explain her actions. "I don't think they would have stopped. Even if I didn't have the soul restoration spell ready, they still would have..."
"Don't finish that sentence or I will beat you to death, do you hear me?" Buffy threatened her.
"I just wanted you and Xander to forgive me. We've been friends for too long to let something like this destroy it."
"You destroyed my life. You destroyed Xander's life. You are a backstabbing, deceitful little bitch. And I am barely restraining myself from kicking your pale ass all over this goddamn street. Now get the fuck out of my face." Buffy said as she pushed Willow out of her way, heading towards her house. Willow watched her sadly, as she knew that there was a pretty strong chance that she had lost her oldest friends for good.
It had been hours since Oz had left and the conversation they had had depressed Xander even more than he had been today. If only he could get Cordelia out of his head.
"She left me for a mass murdering vampire. What the fuck does he have that I don't?" Xander asked himself as he stared into the mirror at his own reflection. He looked down at his body, checking for body fat or any other sign that would send every girl he was ever in love with into Angel's arms instead.
"To hell with this." Xander said to himself as he walked out of the bathroom and into the living room where he grabbed his car keys and walked out of his house. He locked his house and walked over to his car. A couple of minutes later and he was driving through the streets of Los Angeles, heading towards his office building.
When Xander parked his car in the parking space reserved for him, he walked into the 'Simon And Finch' lawfirm and met Stacey.
"Hey Mr. Harris." Stacey greeted him.
Xander shook his head. "You know I don't like being called Mr. Harris, Stacey. You make me sound like my father."
Stacey giggled and threw him a smile. "What are you doing back here so late in the day? Are you here to see Mike? Because if you are, he's gone home already. As a matter of fact, I'm just about ready to leave as well."
"Actually I came to see you." Xander told her.
"Me?" Stacey asked in surprise. "Really?"
"Yeah, really." Xander nodded with a grin. "Do you want to have dinner at my place? No strings attached."
Stacey smiled at him as she heard his bold request. This was something she had been dreaming about for ages.
"What if I want the strings attached?" She asked him suggestively.
Xander flashed her a sexy smile. "Well, we can always have 'dessert' afterwards."
Stacey grinned as she got up from her desk, grabbed her purse and left with Xander. They left with their arms linked as they got into the elevator and headed towards Xander's house.
"I forgot to ask you last night. How was Xander?" Willow asked as they laid in bed.
Oz thought of the answer and he had to tell her the truth, no matter how much it could hurt her.
"We didn't get into a fight if that's what you're worried about. He didn't seem pleased to know that you're nearby. He didn't seem pleased at all." Oz told her.
Willow felt like her heart was being torn in two. "He's been my friend for years. Since childhood. I don't want to lose him. But I couldn't risk having Angelus around either."
"It's not me you have to sell, Will." Oz said to her as he rubbed her arm softly.
"Buffy was so angry yesterday. If looks could kill..." Willow said but was cut off when Oz kissed her. They broke apart after several seconds and she smiled.
"What was that for?"
"I thought you needed it. At the end of the day, you DO have me and Priscilla and Ruppy. If Xander and Buffy can't let go of the past, then it's their problem, not yours." Oz said as he tried to calm her down.
"So, you're saying I shouldn't try?" Willow asked him.
Oz shook his head. "No, I'm not saying you shouldn't try. I'm just saying that you shouldn't get your hopes up. Not every story has a happy ending."
Willow thought about what Oz just said as he got out of bed and headed for the shower.
Buffy got off the bus and headed towards Xander's house. She didn't call him beforehand because she had wanted to surprise him. Buffy still couldn't believe that Willow had the nerve to show her face in Sunnydale again after what happened. She had wanted desperately to give Willow a good solid punch for what had happened. For the misery that she had put her and Xander through. But Buffy held back.
'Next time she shows her face...' Buffy thought to herself as she found herself outside Xander's house in the Los Angeles suburbs. She briefly thought that Willow went to see him also and Buffy hoped that it didn't hurt Xander more than it already had.
Buffy walked up to his front door and knocked loudly enough so that he could hear it. She looked at her watch and realized it was eight thirty in the morning.
'Most likely he's still asleep,' she thought to herself again. Buffy waited a couple of minutes until the front door opened, revealing a practically half naked younger girl that looked eighteen years old. She was wearing one of Xander's silk shirts and had nothing else on except a pair of panties. Buffy was stunned at the sight.
"I'm at the right house right? Doesn't Xander Harris live here?" Buffy asked the girl out of curiosity and shock.
Stacey nodded with a grin. "Yeah, he still lives here. Ol' sleepy head is still in bed. Who are you?"
"I'm an old friend of Xander's. An OLD friend. Could you tell him that Buffy's here to see him?" Buffy asked the younger blonde who nodded and invited the Slayer inside as she shut the door.
"Wait here," Stacey told her. "I'll be back."
Buffy nodded and watched as Stacey walked up the stairs toward Xander's bedroom to wake him up. Buffy was very surprised at this outcome of events.
"Maybe he's over Cordelia after all." Buffy said to herself.
Stacey came back down the stairs five minutes later and smiled at Xander's friend. Buffy noted that Stacey had gotten redressed in casual clothes, so as not to put Buffy out.
"He'll be down in a minute. He's just getting changed. So, how long have you known Xander?" Stacey asked in an insecure way. She didn't like the look that she saw in Buffy's eyes when she first saw her.
Buffy looked at her. "Thirteen years. And you?"
"Half a year. After I finished college, I got a job at 'Simon And Finch'. The first time I laid eyes on Xander, I thought he was quite the babe." Stacey said, honestly.
'You're showing your age there, Sweety,' Buffy thought to herself with a hidden smirk.
"I didn't know Xander was seeing anyone after what happened with Cordelia." Buffy said as she decided to try and dig some information out of the young girl.
Stacey shrugged. "We're not really dating. Just having some fun. Life is short. You've got to grab it with both hands and yank as hard as you can."
'Oh my god,' Buffy thought. 'Xander nailed a slut.'
Both Buffy and Stacey smiled and the silent pause had made the both of them feel pretty uncomfortable. Fortunately, Xander came down the stairs trying to wipe the sleep from his eyes as his eyes adjusted to his surroundings. He noticed that Buffy and Stacey were talking in the living room before he met up with them.
"Buffy, what are you doing here?" Xander asked her in surprise.
Buffy looked at him. "I came to see if you're alright. Apparently you are."
Stacey felt uncomfortable with the way the conversation was going, so she stood up. "Maybe I should go now."
"Are you sure?" Xander asked her.
"Yeah. Last night was great." Stacey grinned at him.
Xander nodded. "Yeah. You want me to drop you off at your place or..."
"No, I'm fine. Karen's coming to pick me up here in a couple of minutes, remember?" Stacey reminded him as Xander nodded.
"That's right." He said with a grin. Buffy took a look around his living room and purposefully avoided Stacey and Xander. A couple of seconds later the sound of a car honking it's horn, came from outside.
"Well, that's my ride. See you at work Monday, Xander?" Stacey asked him as she grabbed her handbag.
Xander nodded. "Yep. There's a case I have to look into, so I'll be there."
"Good, good. Nice meeting you Buffy," Stacey said to her as she walked towards the front door and left, waving goodbye to Xander and Buffy. Minutes later, they heard the car outside drive away and it was then that Buffy looked at Xander with surprise.
"What the hell was that?" Buffy asked him.
Xander shook his head in confusion. "What? Stacey?"
"Stacey? Is that her name? I don't believe she actually told me." Buffy said as she thought about it.
"Yeah, that was her. What's the big deal?"
"The big deal? Xander, she looks like she's ten years younger than you. Now I know that I've dated someone way older than me..."
Xander cut her off in mid sentence. "I don't want his name mentioned in my house, okay? I'd like to get through a single day without puking my guts out in disgust."
Buffy shrugged her shoulders. "That's exactly the way I feel about your ex."
"There's nothing wrong with Stacey. She's nineteen." Xander said as he tried to reason with her.
"Nineteen years old? At least you're legally in the clear. I just didn't think that you were over 'Queen C'." Buffy said with bitterness.
This time it was Xander's turn to shrug as he sat down on the couch opposite Buffy. "Just because Stacey and I slept together, doesn't mean that I want a relationship with her. It was just for fun."
"Yeah, I know how it goes. Parker Abrams did that to me in college, remember? I thought you were better than that." Buffy said sadly.
Xander looked at her. "I am NOTHING like that dickweed. For one thing, I made sure that Stacey knew it was just for the night. That I wasn't looking for a relationship. She knew what would happen the morning after and she was fine with it. I wouldn't have gone through with it otherwise."
Buffy nodded. "Okay then, that's alright I guess. Was she a rebound or something?"
"I don't know. Maybe. After Oz dropped by yesterday, I got depressed again and decided to do something about it. Maybe I was punishing Cordelia, who knows." Xander said to her.
Buffy was stunned. "Oz was here? Yesterday?"
"Yeah. He said his wife's in Sunnydale, so watch out." Xander warned her as he went to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of orange juice. He filled another glass with orange juice for Buffy, as she came into the kitchen.
"Your warning couldn't have come at a worse time. She already found me. Outside of Giles' bookstore. I was so tempted to beat her up, but I didn't want bad publicity for the store. My mom said she ripped into her when our former friend dropped by there." Buffy said with a grin.
Xander chuckled. "I hope it was good."
"She made Willow cry." Buffy said with a laugh.
Xander almost did a spit take with his orange juice when he heard Buffy's last statement. "Nice to see that other people don't find her acts cute."
"I still can't believe she lied to us. US! We were her best friends. And since when did she become best friends with Cordelia?" Buffy asked angrily.
Xander shrugged. "I guess it was after Cordelia dumped me and later left for Los Angeles all those years ago."
Buffy nodded in agreement.
When we met, light was set
Thoughts free flow
You said you've got...something
Deep inside of you
A wind chime voice sounds
Sway of your hips 'round rings true
It goes deep inside of you
These secret garden beams
Change my life so it seems
A calm breeze blows outside
I don't break stride
Thoughts are warm
And they go deep inside of you
Willow paced back and forth in Giles' apartment as he watched her. Olivia had left to get supplies from the store, so Willow and Giles were alone.
"So that's it." Willow said as she finished explaining what happened between her and Buffy the other day.
Giles scratched his head. "Willow, they are pretty hurt. They both lost someone they deeply cared for, and they see you as the cause for it. How would you feel if one of them was the cause for splitting you and Oz up?"
Willow looked down to the floor. "I would hate them."
"So, can't you see their point of view?" Giles asked her as he watched her sad expression.
Willow nodded. "I just don't want them to hate me anymore."
"Well, I think that Oz was right when he told you there's a very likely chance that they won't forgive you. And Joyce was just panicking. She didn't want to lose her only child again. Maybe it would be for the best if you just went back home." Giles suggested.
Willow shook her head. "I can't. Not yet. I have to try and convince them that it wasn't my fault."
"I think you're fighting for a lost cause. And please don't get me involved in this either. Buffy and I are working together now and the last thing I need are complications. And Xander is beginning to open up to me as well. I just don't want anything to happen that would ruin that." Giles told her.
Willow looked up from the floor and stared at the former Watcher. She sighed as she nodded her head. "I guess I'll only have Oz to help me with this. Thanks for hearing me out then."
Giles nodded and watched as she left his house and headed toward her car.
"Why don't you tell me where she is. I know that you know." Kyle said as he pressed his clawed finger into the wound of his human victim. The man screamed aloud in pain as Kyle smiled.
"You'll never find Buffy." Frankie told the vampire.
Kyle laughed and stabbed Frankie Tripod in the other arm. The man screamed in pain as Kyle waited for silence before speaking.
"I know you know where she is. I know that you're best buddies with a certain Brachen demon we both know. Now, the next step would be for me to track Doyle down himself and rip him to shreds. Now tell me. WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE?!?!?" Kyle raged at his victim.
Frankie winced through the pain and Kyle's onslaught. Spike and Penn walked into the abandoned factory and joined the pair.
"Any progress yet, mate?" Spike asked the younger vampire.
Kyle turned to face him. "This human won't tell us what we need to know. I think he likes being tortured."
Penn walked up to Frankie and smiled cruelly. "Frankie, this is Spike. Do you know why they call him Spike?"
Frankie looked back and forth between the evil vampires and saw that Penn was showing him a couple of railroad spikes.
"That's right. Now, where is she?"
"She's not in L.A. anymore. She and Angel busted up and she's disappeared." Frankie blurted out.
Spike was surprised. "Buffy and Angel split up? Oh, and I was hoping on attending the wedding."
"Angel took back Cordelia Chase." Frankie explained.
Penn nodded with disinterest. Spike was curious. "Where is Xander Harris?"
Frankie looked back towards the platinum blonde vampire and decided to explain. Maybe if he helped them, they would let him live.
"He lives here in L.A. But I'll only tell you." Frankie told Spike. Spike threw a look towards Penn and Kyle and the two left the factory out of earshot. Spike grinned and faced him.
"So, spill. Where is he?" Spike asked him.
Frankie nodded. "He lives at 52 Boulevard Terrace."
Spike grinned to himself as he thought over the implications of finding Xander. 'That would really piss off the Slayer,' he thought to himself. Spike left Frankie and walked out of the factory where he met Penn, Kyle and Maria standing outside.
"Well? Who is this Xander character?" Penn asked him.
"Nobody. Just being curious." Spike said cryptically as he walked away, leaving the other three vampires in confusion.
Penn turned to his lackeys and smiled. "Why don't you two accommodate Frankie?"
The two vampires smiled and ran into the building. Penn sighed with contentment when he heard the familiar scream of pain and then silence.
Olivia stepped into the kitchen and poured herself a drink from the fridge. Giles was busy talking to Oz who had stopped by to visit.
"I hear you spoke to Willow yesterday." Oz said conversationally.
Giles nodded. "Yes. She asked for my help in making peace with Buffy and Xander."
"Yeah, she said you said no." Oz said with a semi-sad look on his face.
Giles stared at him. "Don't give me that look. I cannot afford to lose their trust. I don't want them to think that I am deceiving them or anything of the sort. It's a miracle they came back here at all. I was starting to think that I lost them for good because of what happened."
Olivia walked back into the living room where Oz and her husband were talking. She sat down and silently watched the conversation play out.
"I thought you were bringing Priscilla over? I haven't seen her for awhile now. She must have grown a lot." Olivia said as she cut in.
Oz nodded. "Yeah she's grown. Xander's babysitting her right now. I dropped her off at his place. They seem to really get along. All the way home after what happened with Angel it's all she spoke about."
"Her favorite Uncle, eh?" Giles grinned.
"Yeah, looks like. It's a shame that he can't get along with Priscilla's mother." Oz admitted.
Giles was concerned. "Xander doesn't speak poorly about her in front of your children, does he?"
Oz shook his head. "No, no, no. As much as I hate it when he makes my wife sad, Xander never says or does anything like that in front of our kids."
"Well that's good." Olivia stated.
Xander walked back into his living room and gave Priscilla a glass of orange juice.
"Here ya go," Xander said as he gave the full glass to Willow's daughter.
"Thanks, Uncle Xander." Priscilla said as she took the glass from him. They were watching old cartoons on the Cartoon Network as they drank their orange juice.
"What's this show?" Xander asked her.
Priscilla looked away from the large television and stared at Xander. "It's 'Jumanji'."
"I didn't know they made a cartoon out of that movie."
"There's a movie?" Priscilla asked in surprise.
Xander nodded. "Yeah, it's an old one though. Made in 1995."
Priscilla turned back towards the television and the two of them watched the cartoon.
It had been a half hour since Oz had left the Giles' residence and now Buffy was visiting.
"So, what's been going on?" Olivia asked her.
Buffy shrugged. "Nothing spectacular. Work is alright. Xander made it with a girl ten years younger than him. I'm fine."
"Sounds to me like you're jealous." Olivia remarked to the former Slayer.
Buffy laughed nervously. "Me? Jealous of that girl? No way. No way."
Olivia shrugged. "Okay."
"No, there's no okay about it. I am not in love with Xander Harris." Buffy said in determination.
Olivia didn't believe it for a second, but decided to play along anyway. "So you wouldn't mind if I set you up on a blind date then?"
"A blind date?"
"Yeah. He's a real nice boy." Olivia said with a smile.
Buffy shook her head. "I told my mom when I came back that I didn't want to be fixed up. I still don't want to be fixed up."
"Because I already kinda set it up. He's going to be waiting at that new restaurant down on Main Street. It's called 'Le Petit Renard'." Olivia said with a guilty look.
Buffy sighed. "I don't believe this."
"Well if you want, I can call Jake and cancel for you." Olivia offered.
Buffy shook her head. "No, it's okay. I mean if Xander can have a little thing with someone, so can I, right?"
"That's absolutely right." Mrs. Giles told her with a grin.
It was six thirty at night as Buffy waited in the 'Le Petit Renard' restaurant. So far there was no sign of Jake Ward, her date for the evening. Buffy didn't really feel ready to move on after Angel, so she wasn't sure if a blind date would be the right thing right now.
She glanced at the menu and was surprised when someone sat down at the same table she was sitting at. Buffy looked up and found a handsome looking man in his mid-twenties with a grin on his face.
"Buffy Summers?" Jake asked her.
She nodded. "And you are..."
"Jake. Jake Ward. Sorry, I'm a bit late. I was debating whether or not I should come tonight." He told her sincerely.
"That's okay. I wasn't really too sure about this either." Buffy admitted.
Jake nodded. "Well if you want to leave this here, we can."
Buffy shook her head. "No, no. We might as well make a night of it."
"Priscilla? Your Daddy's here, go on and wash up now." Xander called out to her. Priscilla ran up the stairs to the bathroom as Xander invited Oz into his house.
Oz took a look around Xander's spacious living room once more. "I hope she wasn't too much trouble."
"No, no. She was an angel." Xander said with a smile. His smile disappeared when he realized the last word he said.
Oz nodded but didn't realize why Xander got so silent. Priscilla chose that moment to come down the stairs and ran to her father.
"Hey, sweetie. Did you have a good time today?" Oz asked her with a grin.
Priscilla nodded happily. "Yep. Xander and I went to McDonald's for lunch and we saw a movie."
"Really?" Oz asked as he turned to Xander.
Xander nodded with a half shrug. "Yeah, there was a new family movie playing and I thought it was okay for her to see it. And it's been ages since I went to McDonald's."
Oz shrugged. "That's okay. As long as Priscilla had a good time."
Priscilla grinned as she grabbed the toy she got from her Happy Meal. She showed it to her father and Xander grinned.
"How much do I owe you? Sixty dollars?" Oz asked as he pulled out his wallet.
Xander shook his head. "No, there's no need to pay me. I said I'd do it for nothing. It's okay."
"But you took her to the movies and McDonald's. I'd feel bad if I didn't pay you." Oz said with determination.
Xander shook his head again. "There's no need to pay me. I was going to go to the mall anyway."
Oz nodded. "Oh okay. If you change your mind, the money'll be waiting for you."
Xander nodded an okay and it pleased the twenty nine year old werewolf.
"And uh... one more thing before we go. Willow would really like to talk to you sometime soon." Oz told him carefully.
Xander held most of his anger inside because Priscilla was in the room. "I don't think that's a topic to discuss right now."
Oz realized what Xander meant as he held his daughter's hand. "Okay. Well, sooner or later you two are going to have to talk about what happened."
"I'd prefer never." Xander said to him before turning to Priscilla. "Well, I hope that we meet again, Ms. Osborne."
"Sure thing, Mr. Harris." Priscilla said as she and Oz walked out of Xander's house. He watched them leave as they got into their family car. He went back into his house and closed the front door with a sigh after he saw them leave the street on their way back to Sunnydale.
Buffy came home late at night and was surprised to see her mother in the living room watching a late movie on television.
"Mom. What are you still doing up?" Buffy asked in surprise.
"I wanted to find out how your blind date went. Did it go well?" Joyce asked her.
Buffy shrugged. "It went okay, I guess."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Her mother asked.
"Well, it was kind of a disaster. Neither of us had anything to say and we spent the night throwing stones into the ocean." Buffy admitted.
Joyce was confused. "I thought you two were going to that fancy restaurant downtown?"
"Yeah, we did. We went to the beach after." Buffy informed her.
Her mother smiled. "Well, are you going to see him again?"
Buffy shook her head. "No, I don't think so. We had next to nothing in common. As much as I'd like to have casual sex like Xander, I can't."
Joyce nodded. "Well, Xander's reacting to this whole situation by doing things his way. I still think you two would make a great couple."
"Mom..." Buffy warned as she went into the kitchen to get a drink. Joyce grinned and turned back to her movie.
Xander walked out of his bathroom and sat down on his couch. He didn't see Spike staring in at him from the living room window, he was too busy fingering the bottle of anti-depressant tablets he had picked up from the Pharmacy earlier today.
He read the label that said to 'take two tablets twice a day' and then he opened the bottle and placed two pills into his hand.
Xander closed the bottle and swallowed the two pills easily as he then laid back onto the couch and tried to watch television, but found that he couldn't.
Spike grinned as he stared at him from outside. "Well, well, well. I finally found you."
The evil vampire continued to watch for a few more minutes before leaving Xander's front yard and heading back towards the factory.
It was late in the day when Xander woke up. He was confused with his surroundings until he remembered that he slept on the couch in his living room. On the coffee table was a half empty bottle of Vodka next to an open bottle of anti-depressants.
"Great combination, Xander." He told himself as he sat up slowly. The one downside to drinking heavily is getting the hangover the next day. He willed himself to get up off the couch and he eventually did so, walking into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee.
Xander rubbed his forehead wearily as he tried to get rid of any potential headaches on the horizon. He debated whether or not to visit Buffy today. Tomorrow was the day he was supposed to be at work. He realized by looking at the calendar that today was Sunday.
He groaned softly as he drank the coffee hot, wincing as he felt the heat.
"What else could go wrong?" He asked himself. He heard the mailman ride up the street on his motorbike and it left him confused.
'Doesn't the mailman have the weekends off?' He thought to himself. Xander watched as the mailman dropped off an envelope into his mailbox and drove away to the next house. Xander stepped out of his house and walked up to his mailbox. He opened the lid and pulled out the envelope.
After closing the lid on his mailbox and walking back inside his house, Xander opened the envelope and winced in pain.
There was no letter in the envelope. Instead it was a wedding invitation. And it was Angel that sent it.
Willow heard a knock on her mother's front door and went to answer it. She opened the door and saw Giles standing at the entrance.
"Giles."
Giles smiled at her. "Hi, Willow. Can I come in for a couple of minutes?"
Willow nodded and let him inside and Giles walked in to her mother's home. They walked into the living room where they both sat down.
"I'm sorry if I was harsh the other day. It's just that I don't want to lose them. The fact that they're both pretty unstable right now scares me." Giles explained.
"Unstable? You don't think that they would..."
"No. But they're hanging by a thread. I HAVE to keep them in town. Buffy has been trying to convince Xander to move back here, but so far there's been no such luck. It's as if he's waiting for something to happen."
Willow shook her head. "Like what? He doesn't think that Cordelia will come back does he?"
"I don't know. I just don't know." Giles said as he shook his head tiredly.
"Well I haven't seen Xander yet. I've been secretly trying to avoid that. From what Oz told me and the situation that happened between me and Buffy the other day, it kinda makes me cautious." Willow said with a shy grin.
"Oz dropped by yesterday and said I was a bit harsh to you." Giles remarked.
"He did? I'm sorry. He's just exaggerating." She told him.
Giles shook his head. "Well regardless, I'm sorry."
"Well while you're here I've got some good news to tell you."
"What news?" Giles asked, his interest piqued.
Willow grinned. "I'm pregnant again."
Giles was shocked at the news he just heard. "Did I just hear you right? You're pregnant?"
"Yep. One month along now." Willow beamed.
Giles shook his head in amazement. "I can't believe this. Oz didn't tell me anything about it yesterday."
"Well, I kinda surprised him when he came back with Priscilla last night. Xander babysat her yesterday."
Giles nodded. "Wow. Well congratulations are in order, I guess. What are you going to do today?"
"Well I was thinking of taking the plunge. You know...talk to Xander. I think it's time that I saw him. I have to try and convince him that it wasn't my fault. Was it my fault?" Willow asked timidly.
Giles shrugged his shoulders. "What you did all those years ago is understandable. I wouldn't have wanted Angelus loose again after it took Buffy ages to kill him. But you definitely should have told Buffy and Xander what was going on. You kept them in the dark for years and they blame you for ruining their chances. I'm not really surprised."
"I thought you were on my side." Willow whined.
Giles shook his head. "I'm not choosing sides. I'm seeing things for what they are. I wish you well in talking to Xander, but I wouldn't hold my breath hoping for a happy outcome."
"I know. Oz told me the same thing." Willow said, unhappily.
Sounds of his doorbell ringing had woken Xander up from his nap on the couch. He peered drunkenly over the couch and sighed as he tried to get up off the couch, but couldn't.
"Come in!" He called out as he was too bothered to get up.
Willow opened the door and walked inside. She moved into the living room and stood still as she faced Xander.
"I knew it would be a matter of time until you got the nerve to see me. Did you come to inspect your own handiwork?" Xander asked her sarcastically.
"No. I came to see you. What happened in L.A. wasn't my fault."
Xander laughed drunkenly. "Sure, sure, sure. It wasn't your fault. It's never your fault. Things just happen all by themselves with you doesn't it?"
"What do you mean?" Willow asked him sadly.
"Remember when you were in college and Oz left you briefly after that whole Veruca mess? You cast spells. Mind numbingly stupid spells, because of your stupidity. But did you suffer the blame of it? No. You get away with a lot of things. Me? I got away with nothing. Chastised over every single thing that could have possibly have gone wrong. People waiting for me to mess stuff up. It's about time you realize that your meddling into other people's lives have cost two people their happiness." Xander said bitterly as he drank some more from the bottle he took from the cabinet.
Willow stared at him carefully. "Are you drunk?"
"Drunk? Me drunk? Oh how very perceptive of you. Could it possibly be that because you see me drinking something that looks, tastes, and smells like alcohol, you assume I'm drinking?" Xander drunkenly theorised with her.
"You are drunk." Willow stated calmly.
Xander chuckled. "Well, you DID go to college. You should know when someone's drunk."
"I can't believe that you of all people would drink. Especially after what happened with your parents." Willow said disaprovingly.
Xander looked at her with a cold look that chilled her to the bone. "Don't you EVER JUDGE ME!!"
"I'm sorry, but I can't stand by and watch you waste your life away." Willow said in defence. She was genuinely worried about her oldest friend. The friend she betrayed.
Xander nodded. "You can't help yourself can you? You can never let me be happy. Not with Ampata, not with Anya and certainly not with Cordelia."
"Ampata was a mummy. Hell, Ampata wasn't even her real name! It was the name of that poor boy the mummy killed." Willow said in anger.
Xander nodded. "Before we knew she was the mummy, you still didn't like her. You were jealous, just admit it."
"Okay I admit it. I was jealous. There... are you happy now?" Willow asked him with tears in her eyes.
Xander shook his head. "I am nowhere near happy, thanks to you. I loved Cordelia and you saw fit to keep us apart didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?!?"
"I think you need to stop drinking." Willow said as she reached for the bottle.
Xander moved it out of her reach and chuckled. "I drink because it relaxes me, it makes me feel better. Look. I wasn't planning on getting drunk today. But after seeing your pasty face again, it looks like I'm going to have to hit the bottle once more."
"How can you be so cruel?"
"How can you?" Xander asked her.
"I wanted to tell you and Buffy. I WANTED to. But Buffy was in a very serious relationship with David at the time. And you were busy with college and everything. Oz, Giles and I knew that it wouldn't be the best time to tell you two that..."
Xander looked up at her in shock. "Giles knew? Giles knew what was going on? When? When did he know?"
"After I came back from L.A." Willow explained.
Xander sighed and looked at the floor. He then felt the anger surge within him and it made Xander throw the now empty bottle at the wall, making it smash upon impact. Willow flinched at Xander's sudden outburst.
"Angel gets all the women. All the girls that I have ever loved. Truly loved. He just comes right on in and sweeps them off their feet. Somehow, an inhuman monster that is responsible for more killings than Charles Manson, managed to snare not only Buffy but now Cordelia as well. Why is that? What the fuck is so appealing about that frigging freak?"
Willow shook her head sadly. "Is that how you see things?"
"I don't know why I'm talking to you. You've been in that scum's fan club since he first arrived in our little group all those years ago." Xander told her snidely.
"Angel's a nice guy once you get to know him. He's nothing like how you picture him."
Xander pulled out the wedding invitation he got in the mail earlier today. He handed it to Willow who looked it over.
"That is a wedding invitation for Cordelia and the grateful undead guy. Your most favourite vampire in the whole wide world sent it to me in the mail." Xander told her as he laid back down on the couch.
Willow looked over the invitation and winced. She couldn't believe that Angel would do something so cruel as this. Angelus was capable of it but not Angel. They were two different people. Weren't they?
Xander thought of something that happened during Buffy's wedding announcement that she had made with David at Willow's anniversary. The time when almost all the secrets were uncovered. Something he had asked Cordelia.
"Hey, Cordelia. I was thinking, how about breakfast tomorrow? You know, catch up?"
Angel stiffened, and she gave him a nervous glance. "Well, I would but-"
"Xander." Willow appeared at their side, her smile wide. "Come on, I need your help."
"You knew."
Willow stared at him after looking over the wedding invitation. "Knew what?"
"At your wedding anniversary when Cordelia came over. You did everything to keep me away from her."
Willow nodded dumbly. "I just didn't want you to get worked up over her, because I knew they were together. They've been together for two years before that anniversary party."
"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!!?" Xander raged at her.
"I did what I thought was right." Willow sobbed in tears.
Xander's face became red with anger as he stood up from the couch and faced her. He was still drunk and it only coerced his rage.
"You jealous little bitch. You love seeing me alone don't you? DON'T YOU?!?"
"No. Of course I don't." Willow squeaked. "You're sick. You need help."
Xander laughed at her comment. "Help? I'd rather lick cow shit then ask for your help. Now get out of my house."
"But Xander..."
"GET OUT!!" He yelled out her, getting some small delight from watching her flinch.
Willow moved to the front door with the wedding invitation in her hand as Xander followed her out.
"You have destroyed me, Willow. You were supposed to be my best friend. Where's the loyalty? Where's the friendship? I'll tell you where. It's with Cordelia. Someone you hated for a long time until she stopped seeing me. You are a real piece of work. And it's been a huge displeasure having you in my life." Xander told her off before he slammed the front door in her face.
It wasn't till she walked towards her car in the street, that she started to cry. The tears that she had kept inside when she was talking to Xander had now come out. It took Willow a few minutes before she was able to start up her car and drive away from Xander's house, toward Sunnydale.
"Hon? Where are you?" Oz called out as he stepped inside their temporary home.
"I'm in here!" Willow called out from her bedroom. Oz walked up the stairs and found his wife in her old bedroom that they had been sharing for a over a week now.
"What's wrong?" He asked her.
Willow looked up at her husband. "I just got off the phone with Angel."
"Oh yeah? Why? What's happened now?" Oz asked in concern.
Willow told Oz what happened when she went to see Xander. The expression on Oz's face changed from stoic, to sad, to angry and then to sadness again after she told and showed him the wedding invitation.
"Did you ask Angel why he sent it?" Oz asked her.
Willow nodded. "He said it was an accident. They were sending out a lot of invitations to Cordelia's friends and Doyle's friends and he unknowingly sent one to Xander."
Oz nodded at that scenario.
"You think he was telling the truth?" Willow asked him.
"Why would he lie?" Oz asked her.
Willow shrugged. "What Xander told me today kind of put me through the wringer. And the fact that none of us have gotten an invitation to their wedding yet, but Xander did, has me pretty confused."
"So you told Angel off?" Oz asked with a grin.
Willow nodded. "Damn straight. But he swears that it was an accident. I guess we'll never know. Anyway, I'm more worried about Xander right now. He's been drinking a lot according to Giles and what I've heard."
"Weren't his parents alcoholics?" Oz asked her.
"Yeah. They were drunk driving when they died. Before that, they were pretty abusive to him. Xander never had a good childhood. Always stuck in one abusive and neglecting relationship after another. And now I've neglected him in the relationship I have with him."
Oz sat down next to her and held her to him. "You are NOT to blame for what's happened. It wasn't your fault that Cordelia and Angel fell in love. And if Buffy and Xander could think straight, they would say the same thing."
Willow nodded. "Yeah, but I don't know. I'm starting to think that maybe what I did all those years ago was the wrong thing."
Oz said nothing, but merely held her as they stared at the wedding invitation in Willow's hands.
Buffy walked into Xander's house with Xander right behind her. They walked into the living room and took a look around at the large, empty room.
"You have no idea how glad I am to hear this. So glad in fact, that I'm going to help." Buffy said with a grin.
Xander smiled. "You're going to help me move? Good, because I can't lift the television on my own. I need a Slayer's strength."
"I'm retired, remember." Buffy reminded him.
Xander nodded. "I remember. It doesn't mean you lost your strength though."
"Can I ask a personal question or two?" Buffy asked.
"Sure, go ahead. I can always say 'yes' or 'no', can't I?"
Buffy nodded. "Why do you want to move now all of a sudden? And why the hell is your hair blonde?"
Xander brushed a hand through his blonde hair and shrugged. "I thought it would make a nice change."
"Too much change isn't a good thing, Xander." Buffy said in concern.
"I happen to think that dyeing my hair means a transgression. I'm no longer the rejected geek. I am now something else. One step away from changing my name from 'Xander' to 'Alex'."
"Don't do that. I like your name the way it is." Buffy urged gently. Xander stared at her and shrugged. "It was just a thought."
Buffy picked up one side of the television and waited for Xander to grab the other end before lifting it. The two adults carried the big screen TV out of Xander's apartment to the moving truck. Xander got into the back of the truck and picked up the television again. Buffy climbed in and lifted it once more, carrying it further into the truck to make room for Xander's other boxes.
"What is it with men and big screen tv's?" Buffy asked aloud.
Xander grinned. "Apparently it's a compensation thing. But I have nothing to compensate for. If you know what I mean."
"You sure seem to be in a happy mood. What brought this on?" Buffy asked with a laugh.
The blonde male shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe 'cuz I felt like it. That's a good enough reason, right?"
"Yeah, I guess." Buffy said unsurely. Now that she thought about it, Xander's good mood seemed as out of place as his new hair.
Willow sat in the Sunnydale Park playing with her daughter. She watched Priscilla swing back and forth on the big swings with a laugh. Oz had gone back home for a day or so for business reasons and to drop by to visit their son, Rupert. So it was just herself and Priscilla in Sunnydale at the moment.
The twenty nine year old redhead watched her daughter and then stared at a moving van that approached the Sunnydale street. The truck pulled up outside a nice looking home that appeared empty from Willow's point of view.
To her shock, she saw Xander and Buffy get out of the truck and walked over to the back and opened the truck's back door. Willow watched Buffy stand near Xander's posessions that lay in the truck, while Xander ran up to the front door of his new house.
The Wiccan watched her two former best friends, while at the same time, shocked to see Xander's new hair color. She wouldn't have recognised him if it weren't for his clothes.
"Mommy, you're not watching." Priscilla exclaimed with a whine.
Willow reluctantly turned away from the scene of Xander and Buffy and focused on her daughter, who smiled and slid down the slippery slide.
It took a couple of hours, but all of Xander's things were placed in his new house. Buffy sat down on Xander's couch in a relaxing heap.
"I still can't believe that you've decided to move back to Sunnydale. Now I can see you all the time. We can go to the movies, visit Giles. Have you met Olivia yet?" Buffy asked him.
Xander came out of his new kitchen and watched Buffy turn on the big screen television and he shrugged. "No, I don't think I have."
"She's nice. A bit interfering at times, but nice. It's so good to see that Giles has moved on since Jenny."
The young lawyer nodded. "I guess it shows that people CAN move on after a break up."
"They didn't break up. It ended much worse than that, remember?" Buffy reminded him.
"You don't have to remind me. I remember the damage your beloved Angel caused." Xander said angrily.
Buffy nodded sheepishly and Xander sighed in exhaustion. "I'm sorry. It's just that that vampire REALLY pisses me off. It would have been so much easier if you had killed him when you found out what he was. We would have been spared a hell of a lot of pain. On all sides."
"I could say the same things about Cordelia. Except without the staking. Although that does sound like a good idea right now." Buffy said with resentment.
Xander said nothing, he just stared at the carpet and then back at the television. He then got an idea and faced the former Slayer.
"I have an idea. Why don't we make a nightclub?"
"What?" Buffy asked in surprise.
"A nightclub." Xander repeated. "I have the money, and it'll be something to keep us occupied."
Buffy thought about that proposition.
Giles was checking over his grocery list when Olivia surprised him from behind. The former Watcher jumped in surprise and twirled around in his chair.
"If I knew I would get THAT reaction from you, I would have done it sooner." Olivia teased him.
Giles shook his head. "It's not a good idea to scare someone my age. Especially when my life insurance isn't paid up."
"Well, you'd better hurry up and get the insurance then." Olivia teased him again.
Giles grinned and got out of his seat. "To what do I owe this little surprise?"
"Well, as much as I hate to interrupt your weekly 'check the grocery list' time Ripper, but I have something very important to tell you."
"What is it?" He asked her.
Olivia said nothing. She simply grinned at him and patted her stomach lightly. Giles stared at her in shock.
"You're pregnant? Are you sure?"
Olivia nodded. "It's pink. The pregnancy test stick thing is pink."
Giles was grinning from ear to ear. "Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. This is great. Bloody fantastic."
He moved over to her and hugged her as tears of joy sprang from his eyes. Olivia also felt the tears rise because of the happy occasion. Eventually they pulled away from each other and they both sat down at the kitchen table.
"I guess I have to start building that nursery now, huh?" Giles asked her with a smile.
Spike smashed into Xander's former home in Los Angeles and took a look around the empty house. The platinum blonde vampire scanned the area, looking for any sign that could tell him of Xander's new whereabouts.
Spike ran up the stairs and checked every room, leaving the bathroom as the last room to check. He stared at the large mirror that was in front of him and saw no reflection on the mirror's surface. Angry after finding nothing Spike smashed the mirror into little pieces, watching the shards fall into the sink and onto the bathroom counter.
He walked back down the stairs in disappointment and stopped in his tracks when he saw Penn. The bespectacled vampire was grinning at him and Spike decided to go along with the games they played.
"Why are we here, William?" Penn asked in curiosity.
Spike held up a hand and lit a cigarette with the other. "I don't like being called 'William'. It's 'Spike'. You got it?"
"Why are we here, Spike?" Penn asked again.
"One of Buffy's little friends lived here. Well, he did when I saw him here last. Which was the other night."
Penn was suddenly interested. "What's his name?"
"Xander. Xander Harris."
Penn nodded as he remembered his name. He looked around the empty house. He looked out the window and noticed that neighbors were looking out at the house through their windows.
"We have to go soon, Spike. I don't want another confrontation with the L.A. police just yet."
Spike stared at him. "Kyle and Maria don't know, do they? They don't know what your plan really is, do they? What you're really up to?"
Penn grinned a cruel smile and walked out of the empty house. Spike followed a little later and took in the nighttime sky. They got into Spike's car and drove away from the street, back to the factory where the other two vampires waited.
Blowing around, turning over and out
Apocalyptic dreams and a supersonic high
Get running now
Two hours to die
What's with this guy gonna think you're alive
Yeah, I am The One
Destroying you, every mother's son
Yeah, I am The One
King of the World as the Devil's son, Yeah, Yeah
I am alive, roll in my maze
Staying a step from the human race
The more I love, the more I die
The more I'm down, I wonder why
Yeah, I am The One
Destroying you, every mother's son
Yeah, I am The One
King of the World as the Devil's son, Yeah, Yeah
Run baby, Run baby, run away
Run baby, Run, Escape L.A.
Who do you love, you wouldn't know
Atomic flow
I am the one, demon red
American Dreams explode in my head
Yeah, I am The One
Destroying you, every mother's son
Yeah, I am The One
King of the World as the Devil's son, Yeah, Yeah
Run baby, Run baby, run away
Run baby, Run, Escape L.A.
Run baby, Run baby, run away
Run baby, Run, Escape L.A.
Run baby, Run baby, run away (Yeah, I am The One)
Run baby, Run, Escape L.A.
Run baby, Run baby, run away (Yeah, I am The One)
Run baby, Run, Escape L.A.
Buffy and Xander took a walk through the large empty night club. The building looked very similar to the Bronze, but this was larger and had a lot more room for dancing.
"So what name are we going to give it?" Buffy asked her blonde haired friend.
Xander shrugged. "How about 'The Black Widow'?"
Buffy shook her head and took a long look at the darkened area and instantly thought up a name.
"What about 'The Dark Room'?"
"'The Dark Room' sounds good. We'll have to tell the real estate guy when he drops by again." Xander said as he ran up to the stage and jumped on to it.
"It opens next week. We should be ready by then. Which reminds me... we have to put some kind of security on this place." Buffy said to him.
Xander faced her. "We already have an alarm set up."
"No, no. I'm talking about a mystical security alarm. A spell to keep vampires out of here. It would protect the humans that come in here." Buffy announced.
Xander nodded with a grin. "Why didn't I think of that?"
"Because I'm the one with the brains." Buffy teased him.
"Yeah. I'm just the one with the looks."
Buffy gave him a stern look. "Watch it."
Xander chuckled and jumped off the stage. They saw Giles enter the large building and ushered him over to where they were standing.
"Hey Giles. Did you find anyone capable of putting up a 'no vampire policy' spell on this place?" Buffy asked him.
The former Watcher nodded grimly, which made Buffy and Xander tense up. They gave each other looks before facing the older man.
"What's with the dark expression, Giles? You didn't get Willow on this did you? Because I specifically said 'No Willow'." Xander reminded him as Buffy nodded for emphasis.
Giles shook his head. "No, no it's not Willow. It's someone else."
"Who?" Buffy asked him.
Giles sighed. "Dr. Sammis."
Buffy looked up in surprise. "Sammis? The same Sammis that said my 'destiny is that of a Slayer and that is all'? That Sammis?"
"Yeah. I didn't think you'd like that idea. But it's either my close colleague or Willow." Giles said with raised eyebrows.
Xander nodded. "I don't really know Sammis that well, but he should be better than Willow."
Buffy looked at him in shock. "Are you crazy? Sammis is the same guy that thought it would be a good idea that Cordelia and Angel drink each other's blood during that mystical convergence. He's the one that convinced Cordelia to become what she is today. A freak. He basically said that the only thing I have in my life is the Slaying. I have a LOT more to offer. A whole hell of a lot."
"Well, she who sleeps with freaks becomes one." Xander said with a laugh.
Buffy and Giles stared at him in shock. Buffy threw her hands up in the air in defeat and stalked off towards the other end of the empty nightclub. Giles walked towards him and grabbed him by the arm.
"What possessed you to say such a thing like that? You know that Buffy was in the same situation that Cordelia is in now. Except for the whole 'Bound' thing. You basically called her a freak." Giles lectured him.
Xander shrugged. "I don't know. I just feel like I don't care. Why waste time mourning over people that aren't worth it? It's the new me. This nightclub signals the birth of the new me."
Giles gave him a once over. "And the fact that you dyed your hair?"
"I dyed my hair because I got tired of being the person I used to be. I thought of changing my name to 'Alex', but I'm not quite sure on that one yet. Give me a couple of days." Xander said with a grin.
"Xander, I know what you're doing."
"What am I doing Giles?" Xander asked him out of curiosity. He wanted to know what the former Watcher was thinking. Not out of honest curiosity, but out of boredom.
Giles didn't seem to notice Xander's bored look. "You're shutting off your emotions. You're covering up your feelings over what happened with Cordelia by dyeing your hair, changing addresses and opening up a nightclub."
"Hey!" Xander cut in. "Buffy agreed to partake in this nightclub too, you know. It's a good venture and it will bring the money in."
"I'm sure it will. It sounds like it will bring in the crowds. But it's your intentions that concern me. You recently moved away from Los Angeles and here you are, back in L.A. opening up a nightclub." Giles pressed.
Xander shrugged and shook his head. "If I knew you were going to give me a sermon, I wouldn't have agreed to have you over here."
"But I'm right. I know it and you know it. You have to let the anger go. You and Buffy both. You both have to let go of this rage. It'll leave you empty inside. Which is why I didn't lash out at Angel the first time I saw him when he came back from hell." Giles admitted aloud.
Buffy interrupted the two men and their conversation. "That sounds like a similar speech you gave me years ago. 'To forgive is an act of compassion. It's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it.'"
Giles nodded in agreement as Buffy reminded him of what he told her when they were haunted by those two ghosts at Sunnydale High.
"That's exactly right. And what I said then, applies now." Giles said in determination.
Xander shook his head. "Willow and Angel can burn in hell for all I care. I can't even stomach thinking about them. This is supposed to be our happy day. We open this place up in a week's time. I really don't want to think about certain scum."
Giles sighed after hearing Xander's latest statement and Buffy groaned as she saw Sammis enter the building. The old man with the grayish beard walked up to the trio and gave the young adults a smile after greeting Giles.
"Hello Buffy. Nice seeing you again." Sammis said politely.
"Wish I could say the same to you." Buffy shot back as she walked past the two older men and stormed out of the building. Xander took off after her.
A confused Sammis turned to Giles. "What did I do?"
"I don't think she appreciated you taking part in separating her and Angel." Giles informed his old friend.
Sammis nodded in understanding. "It had to happen. I have no idea how much the two of them are hurting right now, but it was for the best."
"I know that. And you know that. But they don't." Giles said as he motioned towards the two young adults outside.
Buffy finished work at Giles' store on time, which was a first for her since she started. The former Slayer had closed up shop and was just about to leave when she bumped into Giles.
"Giles! You scared me." Buffy said as she relaxed visibly.
Giles apologized. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that."
Buffy nodded. "Are you checking up on me? Because I DO know how to lock up a store, you know."
"I know. I trust you. I was just going to get something out of the stockroom. Can I use the keys?" Giles asked her as he pointed to the store keys in her hand.
"Yeah, sure." Buffy handed Giles the keys and watched as her former Watcher re-opened the store and stepped inside with Buffy behind him.
"I'm sorry about earlier today. I didn't mean to snap." Buffy apologized to him.
Giles turned back to face her. "That's okay. Besides it was Xander who did most of the snapping at me. At least you directed most of it to Sammis."
Buffy grinned sheepishly. "I guess I'm a little bitter, huh?"
"A 'little' is a bit of an understatement isn't it?" Giles asked her.
She nodded. "I know I have a bit of hatred for a few people that will go nameless this time. But I don't see why I should forgive them. Why should they have their cake and eat it too? Life didn't treat me kindly, why the hell should I do the same for them?"
"Because you're the Slayer..."
"Wrong! I'm not the Slayer anymore, remember? I'm officially retired. Now, there's some unknown Slayer in this town that's taken my position and God knows where Faith is now." Buffy said as she thought about the long missing Slayer.
"Faith was filled with hatred too and look what happened." Giles told her.
Buffy got angry at that statement. "I am NOTHING like Faith. NOTHING!"
"I never said you were." Giles said, trying to calm her down.
Buffy shook her head. "What is wrong with me? I just can't get rid of this rage. Every time I think of Cordelia or Willow or Sammis, I just want to crush their heads like grapes."
"It's a normal emotion Buffy. But don't you think it's time to let it go? No one is worth getting yourself tied up in knots over," Giles said with sympathy.
Buffy tried to change the subject. "So, what's been happening with you?"
"Well, Sammis and I have just put a nifty little spell on 'The Dark Room'. It's pretty cool and it SHOULD work. Oh, and Olivia's pregnant."
Buffy's eyes widened in shock. "Olivia's pregnant? Wow, that's great!"
"Yes it is. It's great news in fact." Giles said softly.
"So why the joyless tone?" Buffy asked him.
Giles shook his head. "Oh nothing. I just realized that I have no idea how to change nappies. I am also not looking forward to waking up at three in the morning to a screaming baby."
"Well I'm sure all that will change once you see your baby for the first time. To hold it in your arms." Buffy said with a grin.
Giles grinned. "You're not getting clucky are you?"
"No!" Buffy said with a laugh. "I don't know. I'm twenty nine years old. My biological clock is ticking madly. The only problem I have right now is finding my partner."
"Where is Xander anyway?" Giles asked her as Buffy gave him an odd look.
Xander was on his way back to his new house in Sunnydale when he saw a young teenage girl walking out of one of Sunnydale's cemeteries with a stake in her hand. He realized that she was the new Slayer and decided to say hello.
"Hey." Xander greeted her.
The Slayer stopped in her tracks. "Boy, your kind really do come out of the woodwork don't ya?"
"Woah, woah. I'm not a vampire. But I DO know that you're the Slayer." Xander told her with a grin.
"Name's Jamie Preston. Who the hell are you?" Jamie asked him tensely.
Xander held up his hands in surrender. "Xander Harris. I'm a friend of your predecessor."
"Predecessor?"
"As in 'one before you'? I'm a friend of Buffy's." Xander informed her.
Jamie grinned. "Really? Wow. My Watcher told me a lot about her. How she defeated the Master, stopped Acathla from opening, killed the Mayor when he turned into a big snake and prevented a modern Frankenstein named Adam from turning people into monsters. Am I missing any big evils?"
"Well, we DID have trouble with this girl named Glory and there were a couple of other big baddies, but you basically get the idea." Xander said with a smile.
Jamie was confused. "I thought Buffy was dead. How else did I become the Slayer?"
"Well, I was told that when Slayers reach a certain age they're allowed to retire. But it's rarely done..." Xander droned off as he got the feeling that Jamie didn't want to hear about her inevitable fate.
"So she's still alive then?"
Xander nodded.
"Well then. Wesley would like to meet her, I can imagine." Jamie admitted.
"Wesley? Is he your Watcher?" Xander asked her.
Jamie nodded. "Yeah. Wesley Wyndham Price. Occasionally he can be a bit on the pompous side, but he's alright. What about Buffy's Watcher. Is he or she still alive?"
"'He'." Xander told her. "And yeah, he's still alive. He and Buffy work in that occult store downtown."
"There's an occult store? We could have used some of that stuff in the slaying." Jamie said with a shake of her head.
Xander chuckled. "Well now you know. Do you have a scooby gang?"
"A what?"
"We used to call ourselves that. It's a bit stupid now, but when Buffy was the Slayer, she had me and a couple of others as friends that helped with the usual monsters and fighting stuff." Xander told her.
Jamie shook her head. "It's just me and Wesley. But that's okay. It's easier for me to just watch out for myself and my Watcher."
Xander nodded. "Well that must be easy. But if you need any help, I'm sure Buffy would help you. Of course you'd have to ask her yourself."
Jamie nodded with a grin. "I just might do that. Oh and by the way, if you see a green hairy demon with this HUGE horn sticking out of it's head, don't be afraid to scream out my name. I've been looking for him everywhere."
Xander told her he would and they then parted ways. Xander watched her leave for home when he felt someone behind him.
It was Buffy. "Who was that?"
Xander turned around and grinned at the former Slayer. "THAT was Jamie, the new Slayer. Just finished the latest patrol."
"She's quite the looker." Buffy said as she noticed her beauty. She had listened in on the last of their conversation and from what she saw of the teenage girl, she knew she was pretty.
"I didn't know she was your type." Xander joked.
Buffy shook her head with sarcasm. "Har-dee ha ha. Very funny."
The two of them walked off towards their homes. But Buffy couldn't shake off the feelings she was getting. She couldn't have any of those feelings for Xander. It was wrong. Wasn't it? Even though nothing happened and probably never will happen between Xander and Jamie, feelings of jealousy still pervaded her.
Buffy and Xander were in the middle of a conversation as the two blondes walked out of the parking lot and into the Sunnydale Mall, talking about nothing in particular.
"So, have you dated her yet?" Buffy asked him out of the blue.
Xander gave her a confused look. "Who?"
"Jamie, the new Slayer." Buffy told him.
The blonde haired lawyer laughed. "Jesus, Buffy she's only fifteen."
"So what? That didn't stop you from sleeping with Stacey. And she's eighteen."
Xander shook his head. "Stacey is nineteen. Nineteen. And that situation was complicated. I was real messed up then. I'm still a bit messed up, but lately I've been feeling pretty good."
"That's good. I wish I could feel that way right now." Buffy admitted.
"Why? What's wrong?"
Buffy shrugged. "Nothing really. Just having a bad case of nostalgia. This town brings back a lot of memories."
Xander nodded in agreement. "What'd you expect? You spent many years here. You're bound to pile up on the memories. Good thing I left town when I did all those years ago."
"Yeah, thanks for not writing by the way." Buffy said with sarcasm. "None of us knew where you were." Buffy finished.
"Sorry. But after seeing Angel and Cordelia in matching towels after Willow's wedding, kinda put me in the mood to get the hell away from everyone I know." Xander apologized.
Buffy nodded. "That would have freaked me out too. I'm sorry you had to see that. I had no idea how hung up you were on Cordelia, you didn't tell anyone."
"I was scared. And I guess I left it too late. That reminds me of something similar a long time ago." Xander mentioned.
"What?"
"When you first arrived here in Sunnydale thirteen years ago. It was love at first sight. But I left it too late and you were in love with some guy that didn't deserve it." Xander admitted out loud.
Buffy smiled. "You were in love with me? I thought it was just a crush. Willow told me back then that it was just a crush."
Xander shook his head. "Yeah, she would. You know how possessive she gets. And she had that obsession with me. I was hoping that since she started dating Oz, it would have worn off. But you saw the way she acted when you guys found out about me and Faith."
The former Slayer nodded. "Now that I think about it, as soon as Willow and I started talking, she mentioned you. And it kinda turned me off of the idea of dating you."
"Thanks a lot." Xander said with a raised eyebrow and a mock offended look on his face.
Buffy laughed. "You know what I mean. I didn't want to intrude on the two of you. And back then I still had the 'cheerleader attitude.' I thought that two nerds belonged together."
Xander shook his head with a laugh. "I was never a nerd. Was I?"
"Kind of. With the freaky dance moves and all." Buffy grinned.
Xander nodded. "Oh yeah, I can't believe that I thought that was cool. Thankfully, Tessa taught me how to dance properly."
"Tessa?"
"Cordelia's cousin. When I left Sunnydale all those years ago, I met up with Tessa at my lawfirm. She used to work there. She reminded me a lot of Cordelia and we started dating. The whole thing lasted like three months. Until she decided to invite Cordelia and her beau over for dinner. I didn't realize how much I still loved her until I saw her again. It's like a drug. You should know about that," Xander told her.
Buffy shrugged. "Yeah. But I'm over the hard part of it now. And it looks like you are too. You've been in a good mood for awhile now. What's your secret?"
"Watching a lot of funny movies. I saw 'Bowfinger' last night on cable. That Eddie Murphy and Steve Martin movie?" Xander explained to his friend.
The blonde Slayer nodded. "Oh yeah. I always wanted to see it, but I could never find the time."
"Well, you can always come over to my place and watch it sometime. I'm pretty sure your mom doesn't have cable." Xander said.
Buffy chuckled. "You're right. She's never been one for the new technology stuff."
The two young adults continued walking through the packed shopping mall and Buffy's grin faded when she recognized Willow walking toward them. Xander hadn't seen her yet. He was too busy looking in a store window to notice.
Xander turned away from the window and was about to tell Buffy what he saw when he found his former red haired friend walking toward them with a hopeful look on her face. He stayed silent and let Buffy do the talking.
"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked her former friend with hostility.
Willow flinched slightly and backed away a step or two. "I was just having a look around the old mall and saw the two of you. Xander, what did you do to your hair?"
He faced his old friend with his emotions in check. "I dyed it."
"Oh." Willow answered.
"Is that all you have to say? You're not going to put me down because of it? No, 'I like it the way it was' speeches?" Xander asked in surprise.
Willow shook her head. "When did I ever do that?"
"The entire time we were friends. No matter what I did, it was never good enough. You knew about those feelings I had for Buffy way back in high school. But you decided to get the new competition out of the way by telling her that you were interested in me," Xander said in an angry tone.
"That's not how it happened. It's not the way it turned out," Willow said in defence.
Xander raised an eyebrow. "Oh no? Because that's how it always happened wasn't it? Anyone I was interested in, you found some way to drive them away. Whenever I was with someone, you always had some excuse to hate them."
"I just want you to be happy. I knew that you couldn't be happy with Cordelia after I saw her at your old house in Los Angeles. I saw how much she still loved Angel. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy." Willow told him as Buffy scoffed and Xander laughed.
"Happy? You want me to be happy? No. You want me to be single. That's what you want. You want me to be single for the rest of my life so you can keep holding on to your sick private fantasies that you have of me. The thought alone makes my skin crawl." Xander said with a shudder.
Willow shook her head in sad defeat. "What do you want me to do?"
"I think you've done enough for me haven't you? If you were a guy, I would have hit you a long time ago. Unfortunately for me, I have morals that tell me I can't hit a woman. However, one of the benefits of having female friends is that I can sidestep that certain moral. Buffy would you please?" Xander asked Buffy and pointed to Willow.
Buffy hit Willow in the face, just hard enough to send her sprawling backwards into other shoppers. The red head clutched the side of her face in shock as she stared up at two people she once called friends. She realized now that the pain and the bitterness inside the both of them had started to control them. It was starting to make it hard for Willow to even recognize her two friends anymore.
Xander and Buffy stepped over Willow's fallen body and walked away with satisfied smiles on their faces.
"Mom, you're running low on milk. I'll pick some up when I go out tonight, okay?" Buffy called out to her mother as Joyce stepped into the kitchen.
Joyce watched her daughter close the fridge door and Buffy noticed the look on her face. It was a look that Buffy got whenever she was in trouble with Principal Snyder back in high school.
"What? What is it?" Buffy asked her.
Her mother shook her head slightly. "I just got off the phone with Krystal. Krystal Mackenzie, the friend of mine? She said she saw you hit this girl at the mall earlier today. Is that true?"
Buffy sighed tiredly. "Yeah it's true. But it was only Willow."
"So? What difference does it make?" Joyce asked her in an upset tone.
The former Slayer stared at her mother in surprise. "I thought that after all that happened and considering what you said to her before, that you would dislike Willow after what happened to me."
"I do. I don't like her for what happened to you. But it doesn't mean that I condone beating the girl up in broad daylight, in front of witnesses. It would still be wrong even if you two were alone somewhere. You are a grown woman now Buffy. You won't get suspended for fighting. You will go to jail. You're lucky that Willow didn't decide to press charges." Buffy's mother lectured her.
Buffy nodded in defeat. "Is that all?"
"No, that is not all. You are the Slayer. Were the Slayer. No, you are still the Slayer, even though you've retired from the vampire slaying, you still have the strength of one. You could have killed her with that punch."
Buffy laughed. "C'mon Mom. I'm not that lucky."
Mrs. Summers stared at her daughter in shock. "I fear for you Buffy. I really do."
Buffy watched her mother walk out of the kitchen, but she didn't follow her. Instead she stood in the one spot and let the recent conversation seep into her brain.
Buffy was watching television in her mother's house when there was a knock at the door. She got up to answer it and sighed in disappointment when she realized it was Oz. There was no guesses as to why he showed up.
She opened the door and gave him a look. "If you're here to talk about your wife, then you can forget it. I'm not interested and neither is Xander."
"Is Xander here?" Oz asked her.
Buffy shook her head. "He's at home. My mom called Giles and told him about what happened, so now he's over there talking to him."
"And I'm here to talk to you." Oz remarked as he stepped into her home uninvited.
Buffy clenched her jaw and closed the front door. "Why don't you just come on in."
Oz walked into the living room and waited till Buffy was in the same room so that he could start.
"What the hell possessed you to hit Willow?" Oz asked her angrily.
Buffy shook her head. "Did she send you here? Is that it?"
"No. She's at home in tears because of what happened. What the hell got into you?"
"Xander asked me to hit her and I did." Buffy answered simply.
Oz gave her a look. "And that's all it took?"
"Well, I really wanted to do it too. I am so sick of her stalking me and Xander, wanting forgiveness. She doesn't deserve it. And I will make damn sure that she never gets it from me." Buffy vowed.
The young werewolf shook his head. "You can't be angry for the rest of your life. No one is asking you to be friends with Willow again. Just that you can find it within yourself to forgive her."
"I don't think I can. And if I can't, then Xander sure as hell can't." Buffy said with determination.
Xander paced back and forth while Giles sat down in a chair and listened to him explain what happened at the mall earlier that day. Eventually the conversation turned towards Angel and Cordelia and this time, Xander didn't hold back.
"I hate him," Xander remarked.
"Why?"
Xander gave him a look. "Why do you think?"
"I know that losing Cordelia has hit you hard. I only have to look at you to see that. But you're not alone in hating Angel. After what he did to me in the past, I still haven't forgiven him either." Giles admitted to the younger man.
Xander shook his head. "Then why did you help save him three months ago?"
"Why did you?"
Xander thought it over. "I did it for Cordelia. I hate the son of a bitch so much, my heart aches with the angst. That's how much. And right now, Willow is right up there with him."
"Willow only did what she thought was right," Giles reminded him.
"Well she thought wrong. If only she told me and Buffy what those two were up to, like best friends do, things would be a lot different. Cordy and I would probably be married right now and most likely expecting our first child. But because of Willow and that goddamn vampire, it will never happen." Xander said bitterly.
"Go on." Giles pressed.
"Go on with what? What are you talking about?" Xander asked him.
Giles stared at him. "That can't be all of your problems with this issue. It helps to get these sort of things off your chest."
Xander sighed and looked around his house. "I don't know. No girl has really loved me. They always seem to flock towards the vampire with a soul though. I always lose girls to guys like him. Although he's the first vampire that's did that to me. Usually it was the school jocks or the college guys with their large bankbooks. Girls always seem to run to the dangerous types. The buff looking guys that look like they just stepped off a modeling gig. They use and abuse those girls, and then the girls end up deeming the male species as 'pigs', while us nice guys have to stand by and watch it happen. I am sick of being a loser. I lost any chance I had with Buffy because of him and now the same thing has happened with Cordelia. Did you know that he rubbed it in my face about how he was Buffy's first?"
Giles was relieved that Xander was letting go of the emotions he was holding inside for so long, and was surprised that Angel could be so cruel as to brag to Xander about Buffy.
"When was this?" Giles asked in surprise.
"It was when he was evil, but it's not the point. Just because he was evil when he said it, is no excuse. He HAD to have that type of behaviour inside him to begin with. Why else would he have said it?" Xander explained to the former Watcher.
Giles shrugged. "A vampire does possess the psyche that the human once had."
"Exactly. And he was the most brutal vicious vampire on record. Yet women flock toward him like moths to a flame. Why is that?" Xander asked with jealousy.
Giles cocked his head. "I'm not sure but I think it has to do with pheromones. It's been widely speculated that vampires have pheromones much like the preying mantis. It's a subconscious thing that attracts their victims. That's why vampires have that 'sexy' image. Or maybe it's his personality."
"Personality? I have more personality than that walking corpse." Xander threw back.
"I know how you feel. I once went through the situation you are going through. It was during my teens."
"You had some guy stealing away girls you loved?" Xander asked him.
"Uh... no. I WAS that 'some guy'. Sorry." Giles said apologetically.
Xander shook his head in defeat. "Everyone thinks Angel is hot shit. But I know differently. I know what type of person he really is."
"Do you hear yourself Xander? You sound paranoid," Giles said with concern.
"Did you know I got a wedding invitation sent by the vampire himself?" Xander asked him.
Giles shook his head. "It's a bit soon to be sending out invitations isn't it?"
Xander shrugged. "He sent it to me for a reason. To rub my face in it. As if to say, 'Har har. Cordelia's just another girl of yours that I took their virginity from before you had a chance.' It's a game for him. If he knew about Anya, I swear to God he would have had her in his bed too."
The former Watcher listened to Xander as he released his inner pain. Giles only had himself to blame. He was the one that brought the Angel business up, and now Xander had gone off on the subject matter.
"I think you should go. I'm tired and I want to get some sleep." Xander told him.
Giles looked at his watch. "But it's five in the afternoon. Don't you think it's a bit early to be turning in?"
The blonde haired lawyer shook his head. "I'm tired, okay? And I'm sick of talking about that twisted freak in Los Angeles. So if you don't mind, I want to go get some sleep. And I'm not going to apologize to Willow."
Giles stood up from his seat and walked towards the door. "I'll be back here tomorrow morning. I think you should see a counselor of some sort."
"I'm not seeing a shrink. I'm not the sick one. Cordelia's the sick one for picking a barren life with a multiple murderer over me, okay? She should be the one putting her feet up at the cost of three hundred and fifty dollars an hour," Xander said before he closed the door gently after Giles had walked out of his house. He shut the door softly because Xander knew that he wasn't mad at Giles. He never was.
Xander snuck a peek through his living room window and watched Giles get into his car. The former Watcher cast one last look at Xander's house before he drove away. The blonde haired lawyer sighed and walked into his kitchen. He pulled open a kitchen drawer and took out a container of anti-depressant pills. Xander threw the empty pill containers into the garbage bin and took the full one with him into the lounge room after bringing with him a bottle of whiskey. He opened the pill container and tipped out a handful of pills. Xander took a swig of whiskey, before taking his first pill.
Maria watched as her latest victim fell to the ground, bleeding heavily. She swung her razor sharp fingers towards his neck and slashed his throat, causing her victim to gurgle his last breath.
Spike walked into the factory and found Maria standing over her new victim. He shook his head.
"Penn and Kyle aren't here. Instead they left behind the dumb little bint," Spike sneered at the red haired vampire.
The female vampire turned around and gave him an evil look. "Fuck you, Billy. Like you're hot news anymore. When was the last time I saw you kill anybody?"
"I don't kill people out of a need to prove to demons that I'm hot stuff. But I guess that's perfectly alright with you. You were always pathetic, not to mention stupid." Spike said with a laugh.
Maria watched him carefully. "What are you talking about?"
"Do you actually think Penn is telling you the truth? You don't seriously think he cares about you, do you?"
"Penn made me. He made me and Kyle both. Don't you dare speak that way about my Sire," Maria threatened him.
Spike shook his head. He knew he'd found her weak spot and he was going to play off it. "Drusilla was my Sire, you know. But that didn't stop her from trying to kill me a couple of years back. And that time it wasn't for fun."
Maria took in a deep breath and considered it, before shaking her head dismissively. "Penn wouldn't do that. He wants the world to end, as do I."
"Do you really think that? You actually think Penn wants the world to die? You're stupider than I thought," Spike teased her.
The younger vampire approached Spike with fire in her demonic eyes. Spike watched her walk towards him and threw her a half smile. "What are you going to do, trollop? Kiss me to death?"
Maria hauled back a fist and hit Spike hard in the face, sending him sprawling backwards to the dirty ground of the factory. She laughed at her momentary victory and grinned when Spike stood up on his feet, morphing into his vampiric face.
"That's the Spike I know. Don't be shy baby. Give it to me hard," Maria cooed sarcastically as Spike rushed at her in his vampiric speed and sucker punched Maria pretty hard in the face, sending her flying a couple of feet. She fell backward onto some wooden boxes, shattering them instantly. He picked her up by her hair and wrenched her head back, exposing her neck. Spike bit into her neck savagely, causing Maria to groan out in pain. She used her free hand to squeeze Spike's groin extremely hard, making the british vampire scream aloud in agony.
He dropped Maria to the floor where she clutched her throat. She grinned evilly at him as Spike fell to the floor, winded. She stood up, wiping her blood on her clothes.
"How long has it been since you were actually in a fight, Spike? I've only been a vampire for thirty seven years old and I've just kicked your ass," Maria said with a laugh.
Spike smirked up at her. "Is that what you think?"
"That's what I know, William." Maria teased as she stood over him, and reached out in an attempt to slash his throat, as Spike kicked her in the stomach. She flew back due to the blow and impaled herself on a jutting piece of wood from a broken crate. She stared at the piece of wood sticking out of her chest and then back at Spike who stood up and walked over to her with a grin on his face.
"You never kicked my ass. And the name is Spike." The blonde vampire told her before Maria crumbled to dust.
Spike stepped back and took in his surroundings. He knew that Penn and Kyle would be curious as to where Maria had gotten to. So, he decided to disappear for awhile and watch the action from the sidelines, before he'd jump in and act.
Birds were chirping in the trees on the bright sunny day as neighborhood kids played in the street, some kicking footballs to others, while people walked through the park, others played on the playground equipment.
Xander's street was alive with kids in his neighborhood running around in the street, but he wouldn't know anything about it. After taking too many pills and downing them with whiskey, he had lapsed into a state of unconsciousness and had not yet woken up.
His slumped over form lay on the carpeted floor of his living room, an empty whiskey bottle laid on the carpet next to a small handful of scattered pills.
Giles was one foot out the door of his house when his wife caught him.
"Where are you going so early? I thought you said you wanted to sleep in today," Olivia reminded him as she walked down the steps.
The former Watcher grinned. "It's just turned noon. We can't stay in bed all day."
"Oh really? Not even if I asked *nicely*?" Olivia hinted suggestively as she flaunted herself in front of her husband.
Giles chuckled. "What are you trying to do? Kill me?"
"Ah, but what a way to go," Olivia grinned back as she began to pull him up the stairs towards their bedroom.
Giles halted and pulled back. "As much as I'd love to, I can't."
"Why not? Aren't you able to?" She asked him with concern.
The British man quickly shook his head. "No, that's not it. I've got no problems there at all."
"So... what's the problem?"
"I'm worried about Xander," Giles admitted.
Olivia crinkled her eyebrows in his direction. "You're worried about Xander? What's happened now?"
"Nothing. Well, not nothing. It's just... Well..."
"Spit it out Ripper," Olivia said gently.
Giles shrugged. "It's hard to explain but I think something might be seriously wrong with Xander. Yesterday, he unleashed alot of feelings to me that he had kept to himself for many years."
"That's good. He's finally got all that off his chest," Olivia told him.
Rupert shook his head. "I'm not sure. What if it had the reverse effect? What if he tried to do something to himself? He practically kicked me out of his house afterwards."
"What did he say?"
"He said he was tired and wanted to get some sleep. But it was five in the afternoon. Xander assured me he was tired, but now I'm not sure." Giles said with worry.
Olivia shook her head. "Well, why don't you try calling him?"
"I did. There was no answer."
"Well, maybe he's over at Buffy's. Those two have become quite close lately, from what you've told me," Olivia said as she tried to reassure Giles that Xander was alright.
Giles nodded. "Maybe. He probably is over there with Buffy."
"But you still want to go over there?" Olivia asked him. She already knew the answer when she looked into her husband's eyes.
"Well, you won't be sure until you DO go. So, go. And when you come back I can tell you 'I told you so', and then we can get down with our wild selves." Olivia hinted as she kissed Giles.
Giles grinned and walked back towards the front door. "I won't be long."
"I know."
Olivia watched him leave the house for his car that was parked outside in the sun. With a sigh, she walked into the living room and turned on the television as she sat down on the couch.
Giles drove to Xander's house in suburban Sunnydale. On the way he thought back to the conversation he had had with Xander the day before. He couldn't help but be a little troubled by it.
He pulled to a stop outside Xander's house and watched the neighborhood kids run around in the park briefly while getting out of his car and closing the door. The former Watcher walked up the driveway and noted Xander's car parked there.
Giles walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. He waited for a few minutes and when he didn't hear a response, he rang the doorbell once more.
"Where is he?" Giles asked himself as he waited impatiently at Xander's front door.
Eventually he got tired of waiting at the door and walked around to look through the windows. He peered into the front living room window and his jaw dropped in shock at the sight of Xander lying unconscious on the floor, next to other scattered items.
Giles moved away from the window and started banging loudly on the door.
"Xander!! Xander!! Wake up!!" Giles yelled out at the door as people watched the goings-on.
Giles ignored the looks of the neighbors and started to kick the door down. On the fourth try, he managed to knock the door off it's hinges where it fell to the floor, taking Giles with it.
The former Watcher got up off the broken door and ran into the living room and made it to Xander's side. He lifted up one of Xander's wrists and checked his pulse. He found it was weak and his breathing shallow and began to panic even more.
He turned Xander over onto his side and ran to the phone to call for an ambulance. He dialed the emergency number and told the operator to send an ambulance, in a frantic state, giving the operator Xander's home address.
"And hurry!!" Giles exclaimed in a panic. He moved back to Xander's side and could do nothing but wait for the ambulance to arrive. He took in his surroundings and found an empty bottle of whiskey next to an empty bottle of anti-depressants.
Giles sighed deeply as he let the guilt wash over him. In the distance he could hear the wailing sirens of an ambulance coming closer.
"Hang on, Xander. Hang on," Giles urged the unconscious man gently.
Buffy stopped the tape and began to rewind the video her mother rented at the video store.
"Blade 3? It wasn't as good as the first two that's for sure," Joyce remarked.
Buffy laughed. "Nothing beats Blade 2. It's just as good as the first one. We should have realized the talent would lapse in the third one."
The former Slayer checked outside the window for any sign of Xander, but found none.
"What's wrong? Is something out there?" Her mother asked.
Buffy shook her head. "No, it's just that I'm expecting Xander soon. Before Giles visited him yesterday afternoon, I called him to see if he and I could watch 'Bowfinger' on cable at his place."
"And what did he say?"
"He said yes. But so far I haven't heard from him. And it's mid-afternoon now," Buffy complained.
Her mother grinned. "You two have been getting very close lately."
Buffy sighed. "Xander's basically the only friend I have now. Of course we hang out a lot."
"What about Oz?"
"Oz is married to 'You Know Who'. And what I tell him could very well go back to HER," Buffy spat in distaste.
Joyce got up off the couch and ejected the tape. She placed it back in it's video cover and walked into the kitchen. Buffy watched her leave and then turned back to mindlessly watch something on television.
"You and Xander belong together. I just know it. And if your father could see you two he would say the same thing," Joyce admitted aloud to her daughter.
Buffy looked up in surprise. "You're never going to let up on the me and Xander issue, are you?"
"At least you're not flat out denying it like last time," Joyce said with a smile.
The phone rang preventing Buffy from replying to her mother. Buffy picked up the phone and answered it.
"Hello?"
"Buffy? It's Giles."
"Oh, hey Giles. What's wrong?"
"It's Xander. He's at the hospital. I'm here with him."
Buffy froze. "The hospital? Why is he at the hospital? What happened?"
She could hear Giles sigh over the phone. "It looks like a suicide attempt. The doctors are trying to revive him now. It doesn't look good, they won't tell me anything."
"Oh my god. You're at Sunnydale General Hospital right? I'll be right there. I'm leaving now!" Buffy said panicking as she slammed the phone down and grabbed the car keys.
Joyce grabbed her daughter, preventing her from leaving. "What's going on? Who's at the hospital?"
"Xander's at the hospital. Giles said that it looks like he tried to kill himself. I have to take your car," Buffy said as she ran to the door.
"No! You don't have a licence. I'll drive you," her mother told her as she closed the front door and the both of them ran to the car and got in.
Giles had just gotten off the phone with Oz when Buffy and Joyce came running up to him in the waiting room.
"Where is he?!? Is he alright?!?" Buffy asked in distress.
Giles nodded. "The doctor came out and told me shortly after I called you. He said that we came dangerously close to losing him. Doctor Gold told me that Xander had taken a dangerous concoction of alcohol along with his anti-depressants."
"Anti-depressants? What anti-depressants? And why did the doctor tell you all of this? Shouldn't his parents be here?" Joyce asked him.
Giles shrugged. "I found a bunch of pills lying next to him when I found him this afternoon. The doctor said it looked like he was unconscious for a while. His parents were killed in a car accident years ago. And I didn't know he was on medication. Did you, Buffy?"
Buffy ignored the looks that her mother and former Watcher were giving her. She was more interested in seeing Xander right now than answering questions.
"I didn't know he was taking anti-depressants. Although it would account for his sudden good moods lately," Buffy said as she thought about her best friend's behaviour.
"Not to mention his blonde hair. He must have been trying to get away from his persona. He considered himself a loser. This is all my fault," Giles said sadly.
Joyce stared at him in concern. "This wasn't your fault. Xander's most obviously been feeling like this for a long time. And it's only just come to a head now."
"But if I didn't pressure him for details yesterday, he wouldn't have done what he did," Rupert said with guilt.
Buffy shook her head. "Your conversation may have just brought things to the surface. If it didn't happen yesterday, it would have happened sometime down the road. Was there a note?"
"A note?"
"Did he leave a note? A suicide note?" Buffy asked him.
Giles shook his head. "No, no note."
"Then he wasn't trying to kill himself," Buffy said with relief etched in her voice.
"Buffy, I..."
"No! He didn't try to kill himself, okay? Let's leave it at that," Buffy said as she walked away from the two older people.
Joyce stared after her daughter. "Where are you going?"
"I need a drink," Buffy said as she pointed to the water cooler down the hall.
Joyce nodded and she and Giles watched Buffy leave before turning back to the entrance of the Intensive Care Unit.
Buffy finished her third cup of water when she noticed Willow and Oz quickly walking down the corridor heading towards Buffy and inevitably, Xander.
The former Slayer stepped away from the water cooler and got in Willow's way.
"Where do you think you're going?" Buffy asked her.
"Giles called Oz. He said that Xander tried to kill himself with pills," Willow said in a panic.
Buffy nodded. "He's not suicidal. But by the way you've been hounding him lately, I guess anything's possible."
"Buffy!" Oz exclaimed in shock.
The former Slayer shook her head. "I'm sorry Oz, but what do you expect? Willow ruins his life by seeing to it that Cordelia loves somebody else, a guy that I was in love with, and she expects us to be best pals again? I don't think so."
"'Was in love with'?" Willow asked her as she picked up on what Buffy said.
Buffy ignored the question and didn't let Willow past. "Whether or not it was an attempt at suicide, you are partly to blame for his condition. The other person at fault here is Cordelia. First, that witch almost drove him to China, and now she's put him in a coma."
"A coma?" Willow echoed in shock.
Buffy stifled a grin when she took in Willow's guilty expression. She knew it wasn't the time or place for another fight.
"You're not seeing him. I don't even think he's conscious. So, you're coming here is pretty pointless," Buffy told her former friend.
Giles saw Willow and Oz next to Buffy and immediately ran toward the three. He didn't want another brawl either.
"Willow." Giles acknowledged.
"Giles. Is he okay?" Willow asked him, hoping for answers.
Giles nodded sadly. "It was very close. He almost died today. If I hadn't have gone to his house this afternoon... If I hadn't have gotten him to open up about all that stuff with Angel..."
"This wasn't your fault. It's mine," Willow said as she tried to take guilt off the former Watcher's mind.
"You're damn right it is," Buffy said menacingly as she walked away from them and back to her mother. Joyce gave her daughter a hug, Buffy's tears escaping at the thought of losing Xander.
"I can't lose him, Mom." Buffy said as she cried.
Joyce stroked her daughter's hair as Buffy shed her tears. "It's okay. It's going to be okay."
"I don't want to lose him. I can't," Buffy said softly as she wiped her eyes.
Her mother nodded. "You have got to sort out your feelings for him. Do you want him as a lover or as a friend."
For the first time ever in her life, Buffy thought it over.
Hold on
Hold on to yourself
for this is gonna hurt like hell
Buffy walked back and forth across the hallway waiting for any sign of Xander's doctor, Dr. Gold and thinking about what her mother had told her.
Hold on
Hold on to yourself
you know that only time will tell
What is it in me that refuses to believe
this isn't easier than the real thing
Giles sat in a spare chair in the waiting room with a blank expression in his eyes. He looked up as he heard footsteps and smiled when he saw Olivia walk toward him with a sad grin on her face.
My love
you know that you're my best friend
you know I'd do anything for you
my love
let nothing come between us
my love for you is strong and true
Oz held Willow as she thought back to her memories of the times she shared with Xander. The happy times before she decided to help Cordelia sleep with Angel. She could not have foreseen the events that that would cause and if she had, she would have stopped them from consummating their relationship.
Am I in heaven here or am I...
at the crossroads I am standing
So now you're sleeping peaceful
I lie awake and pray
that you'll be strong tomorrow and we'll
see another day and we will praise it
and love the light that brings a smile
across your face
Joyce watched her daughter pace back and forth after drinking another cup of water from the water cooler. She sighed as she couldn't help but think of the hell Xander and her daughter must be going through.
Oh god if you're out there won't you hear me
I know that we've never talked before
oh god the man I love is leaving
won't you take him when he comes to your door
Dr. Gold walked out of ICU and Willow, Oz, Giles, Olivia, Joyce and Buffy watched and waited for the update.
Am I in heaven here or am I in hell
at the crossroads I am standing
So now you're sleeping peaceful
I lie awake and pray
that you'll be strong tomorrow and we'll
see another day and we will praise it
and love the light that brings a smile
across your face...
The group swarmed toward the doctor like bees to honey. Dr. Gold smiled. "The worst is over. We lost him for a couple of minutes but he's out of the woods now, so to speak."
"Can we see him? I need to see him," Buffy ordered the doctor.
Dr. Gold shook his head. "You're not going to see him today. No one is. The anti-depressants he took are still having an effect on him. He'll be sleeping it off for most of the day. It's best that you come back tomorrow morning to see him. He should be awake then. We're moving Mr. Harris out of ICU, so there shouldn't be a problem."
The group watched Xander's doctor walk back into ICU and Buffy walked away from the group and stood at the back, with her back against the wall. She thought of the possibility that she could have lost him and it frightened her more than she had ever realized.
Hold on
hold on to yourself
for this is gonna hurt like hell
It was Olivia's turn to watch over Xander as he slept it off in his hospital bed. Sunlight filtered through as the morning sun shone from the sky. She watched him sleep and couldn't help but think sarcastically that this was a nice way to meet him finally.
Xander started to stir as the effects began to wear off. He slowly opened his eyes and took in his surroundings. He saw a black woman he had never seen before, sitting next to him with a grin on her face.
"You're awake. You scared a lot of people Xander."
The blonde haired man stared at her in confusion. "Who are you? Where am I?"
"You're in the hospital. I'm Olivia, Rupert's wife," she told him.
"Rupert?" Xander asked her, then he remembered. "Oh, Giles. I just call him by his last name for some reason."
"Do you need anything to drink?" Olivia asked him.
Xander nodded. "Water would be good. How did I get here?"
Olivia poured water from a jug into a large glass and handed it to him as he drank from it heavily.
"You tried to kill yourself two nights ago, don't you remember?" Olivia Giles asked him.
Xander was confused as he tried to sit up. "I didn't try to kill myself. I just took some..."
"Anti-depressants?" Dr. Gold cut in as he entered the hospital room. Xander turned to him and nodded slowly.
Dr. Gold looked at his chart and then back to his patient. "You have been taking a large amount of Venlafaxine, otherwise known as Effexor. It's an anti-depressant."
"I know that. I was the one that took them," Xander said with irritation. He didn't want that part of his life aired out.
Dr. Gold looked at him. "Any reason why you took a lot of Effexor tablets with alcohol?"
"I guess the alcohol was a mistake, but I was just trying to get out the mood I was in," Xander explained.
Olivia shook her head. "You almost died yesterday. Rupert found you unconscious in your own home. You overdosed."
Xander stayed silent for a moment or two before he spoke. "I didn't try to kill myself."
"Well, you almost DID kill yourself. I'll be back in a little while to run some tests," Dr. Gold informed him before he walked out of the hospital room.
Xander turned back to Olivia. "Not that I don't mind that you're here, but where's Giles. Or Buffy?"
"Buffy was here all night sitting where I am now. And 'Giles' took her home to rest. You scared a lot of people tonight. Willow was going to call Cordelia to tell her what happened when Buffy stopped her," Olivia told him.
Xander nodded. "Good. Because I don't really want to see Cordelia right now."
"Do you want me to call Buffy and the others?" Olivia pressed.
The blonde lawyer shook his head. "No, not right now."
Xander turned on his other side and stared out the window as Olivia nodded gently.
Buffy and Giles walked into The Dark Room's main office upstairs from the dancefloor and went through the files.
"Until Xander recovers, I've got to keep this place going by myself. Do you have any idea how hard it is to open a nightclub?" Buffy asked him wearily.
Giles shook his head. "If you need any help until Xander's back on his feet, you let me know."
The former Slayer grinned and handed her former Watcher a piece of paper. "Well, you CAN call up these guys. We're doing a retro nineties rock band group all week as our opener."
Giles took the paper and glanced over the names. "'Girlfriend'? Who is that?"
"It's an Australian band that disappeared. Trust me, they jumped at the chance to play here. I had to lie to them and tell them that a lot of their fans were going to be here. It was a bit pathetic," Buffy said with a chuckle.
"And what about this one. It's crossed out. 'Frente'. Do I call them up for tomorrow or what?" Giles asked her.
Buffy nodded. "Yeah, call 'em. They're like 'Girlfriend'. I wish Xander could be here for the opening night."
"I'm sure he will be. You two open this place up tomorrow night, right?" Giles checked with the blonde woman.
Buffy nodded in confirmation. "Yeah. I'm going to drop by later tonight to see him at the hospital. I should be there now but I can't."
"You have this place to take care of too. You can't let this nightclub go. The both of you planned this place from the beginning. I doubt that you'll want to continue working for me at my store?" Giles asked her nicely.
Buffy grinned. "Of course I'll keep working at the store. We'll just have to re-arrange some of the hours that's all. I'd like to do both. Most likely Xander's going to do most of the work here anyway."
Giles nodded. "Olivia should still be with Xander. Isn't your mother going to see him?"
"She said she was going to see him around about this time," Buffy admitted.
They turned back to the files and band times and went back to work for tomorrow's opening night.
"I thought that you tried to..." Joyce started but stopped when Xander shook his head. Olivia had said her goodbyes and left, leaving Joyce alone with Xander.
"It was an accident. I shouldn't have drank alcohol with the pills, but other than that..."
Mrs Summers was surprised. "These type of pills you're supposed to take two times a day. What were you doing taking ten at once?"
Xander shrugged. "I don't know. I probably lost count, what with the alcohol. I was drunk. Why does everyone think that I tried to commit suicide? I had to convince the hospital psychiatrist that it was an accident."
"After everything that's happened to you lately, you can't blame people for thinking it. I'm sure that even Buffy was thinking that as well," Joyce told him honestly.
Xander looked up at her from his bed. "Buffy thinks I tried to kill myself? Oh great."
Joyce grinned. She was curious to find out how he felt about her daughter. "Why does that bother you?"
"She's the only friend I have left. It bothers me to think that she thinks so poorly of me," Xander said sadly.
Buffy's mother shook her head. "I doubt she thinks that way about you at all."
"What do you mean?" Xander asked her innocently.
Buffy came down the stairs and walked on the dance floor, checking the speakers to see if they were the ones she requested. All of a sudden she had a feeling that she was being watched and she turned around quickly to find Doyle standing at the entrance to The Dark Room.
"Doyle? What are you doing here?" Buffy asked him with hesitation. She didn't know if he was alone.
Doyle shrugged and walked inside. Doyle was half human, so he didn't have to worry about the security barriers.
"I heard about this place. You know me. I'm a regular rager. Where's Xander? Is he here?" Doyle asked her.
Buffy shook her head and decided to lie a little. "He's in Sunnydale. He's...resting. I'm about to go visit him in a couple of minutes anyway."
The Brachen demon nodded. "Good. Because I wouldn't like to get into another fight with him. Who knew he'd pack quite a punch like that?"
"That's Xander for you. Always surprises you," Buffy said aloud.
Doyle nodded as he looked around the large nightclub. He found a couple of cages that could fit a human being, hanging from the roof and some rather suggestive material on the walls.
"Just what kind of a nightclub is this? An S&M joint?" Doyle joked as he glanced the place over.
Buffy shook her head. "No. It's just something a little risque but still entertaining. It's going to get a lot of people in here."
"Xander's idea to put the cages up, huh?" Doyle asked with a grin.
"Actually it was mine. Male and female dancers are going to be in them when the club is open," Buffy informed him.
Doyle nodded. "Wow. You open tomorrow right?"
"Right." Buffy confirmed to the half-demon. "Why are you here anyway? We've never been close."
Angel's best friend shrugged. "I lost a friend of mine recently. We weren't real close, but it was still tough."
"Who was it?" Buffy asked him gently.
Doyle looked at her. "Frankie Tripod."
"Frankie Tripod? The pimp, Frankie Tripod?" Buffy asked him.
The Brachen demon nodded. "Yeah. He was ripped apart pretty badly. We suspect it was vampires from the bitewounds. Angel's looking into it."
"I don't do the slaying thing anymore. I'm retired," Buffy told him as she checked the last remaining speaker. Neither Buffy nor Doyle noticed that Penn was looking in through a window at them. He had just gotten there and smiled when he saw his target.
"I know you're retired. It's not like we need you for this little thing anyway. And besides, I really don't think it's a good time for you to see Angel and Cordelia now anyway," Doyle hinted.
Buffy stared at him. "Why? Are they having their first fight? I knew it wouldn't be long until good old Cordelia rubbed him the wrong way."
Doyle shook his head. "No it's not like that. It's...complicated."
The former Slayer nodded. "Well, keep me out of their sex life okay?"
Penn stared at them through the window and listened in on their conversation. All the time, he didn't take his eyes off of the blonde woman that was once the Slayer.
With the bad luck that Penn had lately with Maria and Spike missing, it was only Kyle and himself that were still interested. Only thing was Penn knew that Spike knew he was lying about Buffy. Maria and Kyle were still blind to the truth.
'Maybe Spike got through to Maria and she left with him,' Penn thought to himself as his face slipped into his demonic guise.
He thought of what he wanted to do to her as he watched her. The vampire decided he wanted to risk it by killing Buffy in front of Angel's friend.
Penn moved over to the front door and smiled when he realized the door was wide open. He walked to the entrance and was about to step inside, when a barrier hit him full force with a loud bang, sending the vampire hurtling backwards ten feet.
He was flung backwards by the mystical protection barrier and fell to a crumbling heap onto the concrete pavement, impaling himself with a piece of wood narrowly missing his heart. Penn pulled out the piece of wood slowly in excruciating pain. He threw the bloody makeshift stake to the ground. The force from the blast had weakened him completely and had caused him to cough up blood in pain.
Penn cast a glance at the nightclub he tried to get into that was now ten feet away from him. He shook his head in shock and passed out from the brutality he just suffered.
As soon as Penn fell into an unconscious sleep in the darkened alley, Doyle and Buffy stepped out of the nightclub and said their goodbyes as they both went their separate ways.
"Ready to go?" Buffy asked Xander as he packed his clothes in his suitcase.
Xander nodded and they left the hospital room and began walking down the hallway. He noticed Buffy throwing occasional stares at him and had gotten curious as to what she was thinking.
"What's with the looks?" Xander asked her.
"Nothing," Buffy answered.
Xander shook his head. "No, I don't accept that. What's wrong?"
The former slayer sighed. "It's just that I don't like the idea of you living on your own in that house."
"I've been on my own for awhile. What difference does it make now?" he asked her.
"Because..." Buffy started but Xander cut her off.
"I didn't try to kill myself, okay? How many times do we have to go over this? It was an accident. An accident that I won't be making again." Xander told her.
Buffy grinned hopefully. "So, you've stopped taking the anti-depressants?"
The blonde lawyer shook his head. "No, I'm going to stop drinking. I'll go back to taking the pills two times a day like normal. I don't know why I went overboard last time, but it won't happen again."
"Why don't you move in with me?" she asked him.
Xander gave her a look. "I thought your mom's house only has two bedrooms? And besides which, I bought the house I'm living in. Why not make the most of it?"
Buffy nodded with disappointment. "I just hate the thought of you being alone in that house."
"It's alright. It's not like Cordelia ever lived there, right? It's my own place with new memories," Xander told her.
Buffy nodded and they walked out of the hospital to the carpark. She suddenly remembered something and she dropped her head slightly.
"Damn," she muttered.
"What?" Xander asked her.
Buffy turned to face him. "I forgot to tell you. When Giles found you on the floor, he had to break your front door down. The door's being fixed right now."
Xander was surprised. "The front door has been open for almost two days? What if I was robbed?"
Buffy laughed. "Oh come on. There's no robbers here in Sunnydale. Vampires make quick meals out of them along with the rats."
The young lawyer nodded. "That's true I guess. Anyway, I can't wait to get to our club and see what you've done with the place."
"Are you headed there now?"
Xander grinned and shook his head. "No, not yet. I have to go to 'Simon and Finch' today. I'm going to go see Mike."
"Mike?" Buffy asked in confusion.
"He's kinda like my boss. I'm going to have to go and tell him something that he might not like," Xander said cryptically.
Mike Davis was going through the last of his files when his office door opened. He looked up and saw Xander standing in the doorway with a small smile.
"Well, look who it is. Did you get that Williams file finished?" Mike asked him as Xander nodded and handed him the case folder.
Mike thumbed through it and was pleased with what he saw. He put the file down on the desk and glanced at Xander. "So, where've you been? Stacey and I have been placing bets on when you're going to make your next appearance."
Xander nodded and sat down. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that, but I'm going to give you some bad news as a matter of fact."
"What's that? You're not planning on quitting are you?" Mike asked with a grin.
His grin faded when he saw Xander's guilty expression. Mike began to worry about his colleague. "You can't be serious."
"I'm sorry Mike."
"Sorry? Look, I understand that losing Cordelia Chase had put you through the wringer. But you can't throw your life away because of a woman. They're not worth it," Mike pleaded with him.
Xander grinned. "If your wife could only hear that."
"Fuck her," Mike said with a smile.
"Somehow that would be pretty inappropriate," Xander joked.
Mike shook his head and shrugged. "Okay, okay. What are you going to do then?"
"I'm opening up a nightclub with a friend of mine tonight. It's what I really want to do," Xander told him.
"You're throwing away your college degree, all those years of training and studying for law school, for a nightclub? Are you nuts?" Mike asked with incredulity.
Xander shook his head and stood up. "I don't think it's nuts. What's nuts is doing a job that I only chose because it was supposed to bring Cordelia back to me. THAT is nuts. But this nightclub... this is what I've wanted to do since I was a teenager, I just never told anyone about it. And I can afford it now."
Mike nodded in defeat as he stood up and walked over to Xander. He laid a hand on his shoulder. "Okay. If you need any help with anything to do with courts or anything, I want you to come to us. We're still friends. And if you change your mind, you're welcome back here. I'm sure that will please Stacey to no end."
Xander nodded as he said his goodbyes and left, leaving Mike to stare after him in disappointment.
The chime of the doorbell got Xander out of the kitchen as he headed toward his front door. He looked through the peephole of his new door and was relieved to see that it wasn't Willow. It was Stacey.
He opened the door and greeted the young blonde who smiled at him. "Hey, sexy. Are you going to invite me in or what?"
Xander waved her inside with a smile and she stepped in, closing the door behind her. He walked into the kitchen as Stacey sat down on one of the couches. Xander came back into the living room with two glasses of orange juice.
"No alcohol?" Stacey asked him in surprise.
Xander shrugged. "I'm trying to quit. It got too much for me."
The nineteen year old blonde nodded in understanding. "Mike told me at lunch that you just up and quit. Left us behind?"
"I just felt that I wasn't doing something that I truly loved. Deep down, the reason why I wanted to become a lawyer was because of Cordelia. I realize now that it just wasn't worth wasting my life over," Xander explained.
Stacey nodded once more and drank her orange juice. "I can't believe that you wanted to move back here. I thought you liked Los Angeles."
"I do. I just have a couple of friends here in town. It's better than living alone," Xander answered.
"Was that blonde woman I saw that time one of your friends?" she asked with a grin.
Xander nodded. "Yeah. That was Buffy."
"Buffy? Let me guess. She was a cheerleader at school?"
"Before she came to Sunnydale she was, yeah," Xander said as he remembered.
Stacey looked at him for a couple of minutes before telling him. "The night that we had sex, you told me the next morning before Buffy dropped by about how you were never anyone's 'number one'. Do you remember that?"
Xander thought back to that conversation and nodded when he remembered it. "I'm sorry about that. I wasn't in my right mind back then. I shouldn't have said anything like that."
"Well the thing is, you are someone's number one," Stacey told him. "You were mine."
Xander stared at the nineteen year old in surprise. "What?"
Stacey nodded. "Yeah, I know. I don't dress like a virgin or talk like a virgin, but when you hang out with the type of friends that I do, you pick up on a lot of dirty talk and procedures. Especially if you've got the internet at home."
The former lawyer shook his head in disbelief. "Why didn't you tell me that you were a virgin. I would've been more gentle had I known it was your first time."
She laughed. "C'mon. Did you hear me complaining that night?"
Xander chuckled. "No, I don't recall that."
Stacey nodded and patted his leg. "I knew it was just going to be for that night and I appreciate you letting me know before anything happened. But ever since I saw you for the first time at 'Simon and Finch', I just knew I wanted you to be my first."
"You have no idea how special that makes me feel to hear something like that," Xander told her with a smile.
The nineteen year-old secretary nodded. "Well, it's true. I just hope that someday you'll find someone real special. Someone a little better than that Cordelia person?"
Xander nodded in agreement. "Well, I'll keep my eyes peeled."
Stacey grinned and headed to the front door after putting her empty glass on the coffee table. Xander followed her to the door.
"One last thing?" Stacey asked him.
Xander crinkled an eyebrow. "Yeah?"
"A goodbye kiss?"
Xander stepped toward the blonde young woman and kissed her slow but gently on the lips. Stacey backed away from him afterwards and giggled.
"I'm going to miss that," she told him.
Xander smiled happily. "I get the feeling that you're going to find someone special someday also."
Stacey nodded. "Thank you. Bye Xander."
Xander waved goodbye as he watched her walk back towards her car parked in the driveway. He didn't go back into his house until she drove away. Xander stepped back into his house and closed the front door as he thought of what just happened. He chuckled happily to himself and decided that now was the right time to go see his nightclub.
do you ever wake up in the morning
somebody's changed the deal
who you are, the way you feel
the whole situation's just a little unreal
you're sleeping with an eight minute warning
living hanging over your head
it's just God's hand but i understand
sometimes it's kinda difficult to get out of bed
The singers from Frente performed on the large stage as their fans and other newcomers to the newly opened nightclub danced to the music.
naked in my storm
you haven't even got a future just to keep you warm
you once were something wild
someone's lover, someone's child
do you hear that sound?
another young lover just hit the ground
do you know me at all?
Buffy and Giles watched the crowd from the ground floor with relieved smiles. The band that they chose had managed to bring in a lot of people for the first night.
do you ever look out of the window
somebody's changed the scene
you feel like you're standing in another country
nobody can understand what you mean
are you happy with your human hatred?
stand up and look into the vacancy and tell me -
have you already decided to die?
have you already decided to die?
"This is going pretty well don't you think?" Buffy asked her former Watcher loudly. Giles nodded in agreement. "Only a couple of vampires tried to sneak in and they were both thrown back because of the barrier. It looks like all this is a success."
Buffy nodded and her smile grew as she watched Xander climb up the stairs and walk into the main office.
"I'll be right back, okay?" Buffy told him as she disappeared into the crowd, heading towards Xander.
do you hear that sound?
another young lover just hit the ground
all the boys and girls are falling in a hush in the unkind world
i remember a time when we were all quite prepared
to climb, but we were so young
and the one you say you love
is just the one you most mistrust
and you tiptoe through your lives
you pretend you're all so
dangerous
Buffy opened the door to the office and walked inside as Xander looked up to see who it was. He smiled when he saw her.
"All in all, I'd have to say our opening night went pretty well," Xander told her as he got out from the desk and looked out of the window onto the crowd below.
Buffy nodded and sat down on the couch. "So, how did it go? Your stop at 'Simon and Finch'?"
Xander nodded and sighed. "It's over. I quit the lawfirm."
The former Slayer looked up at him in shock. Xander didn't see her reaction as he was too busy checking out the crowd of people downstairs, cheering on the band.
"You what? You quit? You're not a lawyer anymore?" she asked him in a worried tone.
Xander turned around and nodded. "Yeah that's right. I decided it was pointless."
Buffy shook her head. "But being a lawyer was such a huge part of your life. How could you just throw it all away with one decision?"
The ex lawyer shrugged. "I decided to be a lawyer in order to get Cordelia back from Los Angeles. Then when I found out that she was 'seeing' someone else, I simply decided to stick with it because I knew nothing else and I didn't have the money to do what I really wanted. To start a nightclub of my own. Like the Bronze, but something better. I'm doing what I wanted for a long time. I thought that you would be happy for me."
The blonde woman nodded. "I AM happy for you. I just get worried. Especially after that..."
"Accident," Xander finished for her.
Buffy sighed. "I was going to say 'incident'."
"You think that I'm going to try something again? How could I if I didn't do it to begin with?" Xander asked her.
The former Slayer cocked her head. "Fine. I just worry about you, that's all. You mean a lot to me now."
Xander smiled shyly. "Thanks Buff. Anyway, now that I quit the lawfirm I can put my entire focus on our nightclub."
Buffy nodded and then laughed as she thought of what he just said. "You haven't called me 'Buff' since college."
Xander grinned and shrugged. "Well, I guess I surprise people."
"No kidding."
Xander thought of his conversation that he had with Giles before he got in the hospital and decided to quiz her.
"Hey, Buffy?" he started to ask. "Before my stint in the hospital, Giles and I were talking about how in the hell Angel attracts women everywhere he goes. I mean I lost any chance I had with you, and then later I lose Cordelia to him as well."
"You want to know what I saw in Angel? Is that it?" Buffy asked him.
Xander nodded as he waited for her answer. "Giles said that it might have something to do with pheromones. Like how bugs attract their victims, vampires have the same thing. Even though he has a soul, he still has the pheromones that attract women."
Buffy thought that over and tried to think up what she liked about Angel that had nothing to do with physical beauty. "I can't... I'm not sure. I don't know what it was that we had. I... I can't figure it out."
Xander accepted her answer as he now firmly believed Giles' theory regarding Angel's ability to attract girls.
"I knew it. I mean, how else would a personality-barren, humor-less person attract so many girls," Xander said with a grin.
Buffy couldn't think of anything to say. There had to be something valuable about her years with Angel. There had to be SOMETHING out of their relationship that she liked.
'Wasn't there?' She thought to herself.
Penn walked into the abandoned factory and smashed a crate to bits in a fit of rage. One minute he was about to get Buffy, the next thing he knew, he was blown away by an invisible barrier. He knew he missed his chance and it pissed him off greatly.
He stalked the factory for awhile until he got the feeling that he was being watched. He turned around and found Spike, who was grinning.
"What's so funny?" Penn asked him angrily.
Spike shook his head. "I gather that you had a confrontation with Buffy. She tends to do that to demons."
Penn walked up to him slowly. "I was so close to getting that bitch when something threw me back. When I came to, she was already gone, hairdo and all. I swear when I find her, I'm gonna..."
"Grind her bones to make your bread?" Spike finished with sarcasm.
The bespectacled vampire stopped his tirade and stared at the British vampire. "Where the hell were you? I could have used an extra set of hands. Where is Maria?"
"Where's Kyle? If you needed an extra set of hands, why didn't you use Kyle?"
"Why do you answer my question with another?" Penn threw back.
Spike sighed and shook his head in annoyance. "Your mindless paranoia will be your downfall. I'm pretty sure that I'll be there to see you die."
"Where is Maria!?!" Penn yelled at him.
The blonde vampire shrugged. "Maria took off. She said she's had enough of chasing after former Slayers. She said she wants to try her luck with the present ones."
Penn shook his head and stormed off to the other end of the factory. Spike watched him leave and smiled. His secret about Maria was now secure.
"I'm taking Maria's advice. I'm leaving too. And if you're smart, you'll drop this 'getting Buffy' shtick. Take my advice. Going after Buffy Summers is NOT a smart idea. Kyle's a yes-man, so he'll go with whatever you say. But I'm outta here. Bye," Spike said as he left the factory and Penn behind.
"Fine!" Penn yelled out after him. "I'll do this myself!"
Spike climbed into his car and headed to a destination only he knew... Sunnydale.
Oz stepped through The Dark Room's front door after convincing security guards that he was a friend, and went to meet Buffy and Xander.
"Hey you two," Oz said as he went to say hello.
The two young adults greeted Oz. "Hey. What do you think of this place?"
"I like it. I didn't think that you'd make it as cool as it looks now. No offence."
Xander shook his head. "None taken. So who or what brings you here? If it's another sermon about your wife, then forget it. I just don't want to see her."
"Me neither," Buffy threw in.
Oz held up his hands in a sign of defeat. "Woah, woah. I know how you two feel about Willow, and I told her the way you would react. She still insists on trying to get in your good books. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here to ask you guys a question."
Buffy was curious. "What kind of question? I mean, go ahead."
Oz shrugged. "I was just wondering if I could play here with my band?"
Xander nodded. "I don't see a problem with that? How about you?"
Buffy saw that Xander was waiting for her answer and she realized that even though she disliked Willow for what she did, she held no bad feelings toward Oz.
"Sure, that would be great," Buffy said to the two of them.
Oz nodded with a grin. "Good, good. Because Devon told me that this place was really hot last night. I didn't believe him, because why would people of this time be interested in Frente?"
Xander laughed. "You'd be surprised. There were heaps of people here. The take-ins last night were pretty good."
The adult werewolf looked around the inside of the large nightclub. "When can we do this?"
Buffy shrugged. "We can't do it this week, because we've got a retro band type of thing for our opening. And your band is still going. What about the week after?"
"That will be good," Oz said with a nod.
"I thought you don't do the band thing anymore," Xander said as he spoke up.
Oz shook his head. "I still do it. But I work for an internet company. It pays the bills. Especially since I've got another child on the way."
Buffy and Xander were shocked. "Another baby? I sure hope that internet job pays a lot," Buffy remarked.
Oz nodded with a grin. "It does."
Xander had gone into the office of The Dark Room to put down a reminder about Oz's band for next week after Oz had left for home. Buffy followed him in after a few minutes.
"So are you sure it's a good idea?" Buffy asked him.
Xander looked up at her. "What? Letting Oz play here?"
Buffy nodded as Xander smiled. He watched her sit down before answering.
"It's not Oz that I have a problem with. You know that as well as I do," Xander told her.
Buffy nodded. "What happens if he brings his wife here?"
"I truly doubt it. Oz has the common sense to not do that. He knows that we won't forgive her for what she did to us."
Buffy grinned. "Did you know that Willow tried to sneak into the hospital to see you? But I set her straight."
Xander nodded as she stood up and walked over to him. "Yeah I know. Olivia told me."
"Olivia? So you finally met Giles' wife," Buffy asked him.
"Yeah. I didn't know that Giles is going to have a baby though. Everyone's having kids these days except us," Xander said with sadness.
Buffy gave him an odd look. "What did you say?"
Xander realized what his last comment must have sounded like and wanted to change the subject. "So, what band is next up on our timetable?"
As Buffy began telling him which ones she had planned and about some minor problems with the bartender, Xander began to think about Buffy in a way that he hadn't of thought of her since high school. The urge to kiss her right at that moment was so intense, but he managed to resist it.
"You don't spend three months on the road with someone and not learn something about them," Xander muttered to himself as he stared at her.
Buffy turned around and faced him, realizing that he was looking at her. "What?"
"Oh, nothing." Xander said as he looked away. Buffy was curious but decided to not ask the question she wanted to ask him. Instead she decided to ask him something else.
"Xander, do you remember when you asked me what I ever saw in Angel?" Buffy asked him.
Xander nodded as he looked up at her. "Yeah."
"Same question. Only this time it's for you. And it's about Cordelia. What was so special about her?"
The blonde ex-lawyer sighed. "I don't know. I've been thinking about that question ever since she left me for that prick."
"Personally, I don't know what you saw in her besides the physical stuff. She treated you like scum before you two dated in high school. And even when you two were seeing each other, she couldn't resist throwing you an insult. Granted, you did the same thing to her, but not to the extent of hers. All those times she said that you scream like a woman. Run like a woman. And whose idea was it that you and Queen C should be in the closet kissing?"
"Hers. She wasn't ready to tell the school that she was seeing me," Xander commented. "You've thought about this a lot haven't you?"
Buffy shrugged defensively. "I'm just trying to figure out the attraction. Because not only did she get you, but now she's taken Angel."
"I can say the same damn thing about you and Angel. In fact I already did," Xander told her as he got up from the desk.
"Did she ever tell you that she loved you back then before Willow interfered?" Buffy asked him.
Xander thought about it and shook his head. "No. No she didn't."
"During the Homecoming thing in high school when Cordelia and I were trapped in the woods, she told me that she loved you. That you grew on her like a Chia Pet. I can't believe that she never told you."
The blonde man shrugged. "I guess I didn't get her 'going'. If you know what I mean."
"Well, she's an idiot," Buffy told him honestly.
"So is Angel," Xander told her with honesty also.
They both stood there with nothing more to say to each other as the awkwardness set in.
Willy poured a drink to a Kailiff demon and thumbed through the cash that the creature gave him after he disappeared back into the darkened booth with the rest of his gang.
Spike walked into Willy's establishment and went straight to the bar. He hit the counter twice, getting Willy's attention.
"Spike. Fancy seeing you back in town. How long has it been?" Willy asked him, trying to start up a conversation.
The British vampire looked him over. "Not long enough it seems. Brandy me."
Willy filled up a glass with Brandy and handed it to him. Spike was about to take a drink when a long, elongated tongue snatched the glass out of Spike's hand. He turned around just in time to see a green demon with shiny skin. His yellow eyes stared at Spike as his tongue snapped back to him. He put Spike's glass of Brandy onto his table and gave the British vampire a look.
"Tom Cribb. It's been awhile," Spike told the demon.
Tom stood up and looked him over, his demonic features staring him over as Willy looked back and forth between the pair.
"Spike. You have a hell of a nerve coming back here after the shit you pulled," the demon told him angrily.
Spike sighed deeply. "I just came here for a drink. If I wanted a fight, you'd know about it."
Tom shook his head. "You're not leaving here unscathed."
The blonde haired vampire tried to walk away but was stopped by an unknown demon. He turned around to see who it was and was surprised to find Val Trepkos stopping him from leaving.
"Trepkos? What the hell are you doing with this guy?" Spike asked him as he pointed to Tom.
Trepkos shrugged. "He saved my life years ago in a ringside deathmatch. I owe him this."
Tom walked over to Spike and grinned. "I'm gonna love pounding your face in. No vampire kills demons and gets away with it."
Spike escaped Trepkos' grasp and smashed a bottle over Tom Cribb's head, causing him to fall to the floor. Trepkos got off his seat and hit Spike hard in the face, sending him reeling. Willy and a few demons got out of the way as they watched Spike smash a chair over Trepkos' head. Tom shot his tongue out, hitting Spike in the back pushing him right into Trepkos.
"You're going to wish you didn't do that," a pissed off Trepkos told him as Tom stood up and joined his friend.
"Oh shit," Spike muttered in defeat.
Xander had gone back to his home after doing some prep work at The Dark Room. The things that Buffy had told him about Cordelia continued to plague his thoughts.
He walked into his backyard with a box full of photographs and walked over to an old empty metal bin. Xander removed the lid of the bin and threw in every picture he had of Willow. He was seriously tempted to destroy the photos he had of Cordelia, but decided to keep them separated for awhile.
After throwing all the photos of Willow into the bin, Xander picked up a bottle of lighter fluid and sprayed some of the contents into the bin, hitting the photographs.
Xander stepped away from the bin and lit a match. He threw it into the bin and watched as large flames erupted from inside the metallic garbage bin. The photos melted easily as the fire repeatedly licked over the contents, turning the contents into nothing but a black mess of ash.
As the fire continued to burn, Xander decided he wasn't ready to destroy his photos of Cordelia, despite what Buffy told him today. Even though he wasn't in love with her anymore, he still wasn't ready to erase that part of his life. Xander took the surviving photos into the garage with him after the fire in the bin died out. He found a small box with a lock on the front and opened the case.
Xander put the photos into the box and closed the lid, locking it away for safekeeping. He left the box with the photos in the garage as he walked back into his backyard to check on the fire to see if it had completely died out.
Xander walked into Giles' bookstore and found Buffy at the counter helping a customer. He waited at the side until she was finished before smiling.
"What?" Buffy asked him.
Xander shook his head. "Nothing. I think that our idea to open a nightclub was a pretty good one. Another successful night."
Buffy nodded. "Between the nightclub and this job, I could very well retire. Not really, but it sounds good."
"No kidding." Xander replied. "So what's been happening here?"
"Nothing much. Some customers today but not many. There's this one old woman, Ms. Sursok that comes in here now and then for the newspapers. I don't think she has many friends," Buffy told him as she pointed to an old woman sitting near the wall, looking at a newspaper.
Ms. Sursok looked up from her newspaper and smiled when she saw Buffy looking in her direction. The former Slayer waved hello to her usual customer and Xander waved to her as well.
"Do you want to say hello?" Buffy asked him.
Xander scrunched his eyebrows in confusion and shrugged. "Why?"
"Because it's called 'being nice,'" Buffy said as she urged him to go with her as they walked over to the old woman.
The old woman looked up at Buffy and smiled. "Hello, Buffy. Have those new books come in yet?"
"No, no they haven't. Not yet. But they should be here sometime tomorrow," Buffy told her.
"Oh, okay. Thanks anyway," Ms. Sursok replied politely before turning back to her newspaper. Xander and Buffy walked away from the old woman and walked up the stairs to the top balcony.
Xander shrugged. "Well that was quick. Who was that?"
"I told you. Ms. Sursok. She's one of the regular customers," Buffy reminded him.
The blonde haired man nodded. "I know, but why did you..."
"Were you two talking to Ms. Sursok?" Giles interrupted as he appeared out of one of the stacks.
Buffy nodded. "Yeah, we were. She's a bit more quiet and stand-offish than usual today."
Giles looked down at the old woman going through the newspaper. "I heard that she's had a tough time at life. From what I hear, the whole thing started because the man she was seeing was cheating on her. She found out and became resentful, not only of him but of the woman he was seeing."
"That's pretty understandable. I mean, the guy she trusted and loved, cheated on her with someone else. It's normal to hate them," Xander admitted.
"Yes but it was when she was in her mid-twenties. As you can probably guess, she still resents them. And she hasn't dated anyone since. That's why she's always in here. She has no one else to talk to, the whole situation has turned her into a hermit," Giles said sadly as he stared back down at her from the balcony.
"How do you know all about this?" Xander asked the former Watcher.
Giles shrugged. "She's always around. Sooner or later the details of her life would have come out."
Buffy and Xander watched Ms. Sursok from above as Giles walked to the stack of books at the end of the aisle. The former Slayer shook her head. "I don't intend to end up like that."
"Hating Willow won't make us end up in that situation. We can make other friends," Xander told her gently.
Buffy shook her head. "No, it's not that. It's just that... seeing her like that, all alone. It's pretty scary."
Xander turned away from the old woman and focused on Buffy. "I don't think you're going to have to worry about that."
The former Slayer looked up at him. "What are you saying?"
"This," Xander said as he pulled all of his courage together and moved in closer to Buffy and kissed her on the lips. Buffy was shocked at first, but then gave in to the moment. It was at this time that the both of them knew it was right.
They continued kissing as they got lost in each other. Everyone and everything around them disappeared until it was just the two of them. Eventually they stopped and pulled away, catching a shocked Giles who was standing still on the steps.
"Uh... did you find those books?" Buffy asked sheepishly as Xander tried to hide his grin.
Giles nodded, clearly embarrassed. "Um... yes I did. I found them easily."
Buffy stared at him. "Giles, what you just saw..."
"Are you two serious?" Giles asked them honestly.
Xander nodded after checking with Buffy. "Yeah, it looks like it. We could make it work."
Giles nodded with a grin. "Well the others will be pleased to hear about this."
"No!" Buffy said in a rush. She realized she said it too loud so she lowered her voice. "You can't tell anyone until we're both ready. We definitely don't want Willow and the others to know."
The former Watcher smiled and nodded. "Yes, of course. What are you going to tell your mother?"
"The good news. Apparently she knew before we did." Buffy told the both of them.
Giles gave them his congratulations and walked down the stairs to the counter to help some customers, leaving Buffy and Xander alone together once more.
Xander shook his head with a smile. "I didn't think this could happen."
"I guess it was bound to happen. We've been hanging out together for a long time now. Not to mention that three month road trip. We did share a hotel room," Buffy reminded him.
Xander nodded. "Yeah, but you had me sleep on the floor."
"Well, that might not be the case now," Buffy said suggestively.
Xander grinned. "Well that sounds intriguing."
They kissed a couple more times before Xander pulled away reluctantly. "Wait a minute. What time is it?"
Buffy looked at her watch. "It's almost eleven thirty. Why?"
"I have to check out this other retro band today. I completely forgot about it," Xander groaned.
"Where's your watch?" Buffy asked him.
Xander shrugged. "The batteries died. I haven't gotten around to fixing it yet."
Buffy nodded. "Well you better go then."
Xander smiled and kissed her goodbye. "Bye. I'll be back though. You can count on it."
The former Slayer watched him leave with a grin. "Don't be gone long."
Hours had passed and the sun had just set. All the customers had gone and only Buffy and Giles were left in the store. They were counting over the day's takings as soon as the place was empty.
"Did Xander meet up with that band?" Giles asked her.
Buffy nodded. "Yeah, he came back and told me what happened. He said they were planning to go to that 'Black Widow' nightclub in L.A., but Xander talked them out of it. Once a lawyer always a lawyer. He would have come by earlier but he had to get new batteries for his watch."
Giles grinned. "Well he certainly talked you around. One minute you're friends and the next you're at each other's lips."
Buffy laughed. "I know it's weird. But I've been feeling that way about him for awhile now. I didn't start to think about him seriously until he was in the hospital."
"Have you told your mother yet?" Giles asked her.
Buffy shook her head. "I haven't left the shop all day Giles. I didn't have the chance."
Giles nodded and looked up. "Looks like we've got another customer."
Buffy turned around and saw a familiar figure. Jamie Preston.
"You must be Buffy. I've heard a lot of things about you," Jamie told the former Slayer.
Giles stared at the new girl with worry. "I'll get the stakes," he whispered to Buffy.
Buffy shook her head. "No, no. This is the new vampire slayer, Jamie. Jamie, this is Giles."
"Jamie Preston actually. How did you know my name and what I am?" the Slayer asked.
The former slayer shrugged. "Xander told me. The guy you were talking to in the cemetery that time?"
"Oh yeah. He's a cutie," Jamie commented.
"He's taken," Buffy said protectively.
Jamie held up her hands in a sign of defeat. "Easy. I didn't know you two were seeing each other. He didn't tell me about that."
"Well, it kind of just happened today. Why am I telling you this?" Buffy asked her.
Jamie shrugged. "Because we've got a connection I guess. So spill. Give me the details."
Buffy shook her head. "Xander and I kissed and now we're a couple. It wasn't all 'Gone With The Wind' style, but it was still of the good. Why are you here?"
Jamie looked around the store. "I came to see you. Xander told me about you two. My Watcher never told me that you guys were still living here."
Giles raised his eyebrows in thought. "I assume that he doesn't know we're still here. We haven't been slaying for awhile. When Buffy retired so did I."
"Wesley won't even consider letting me retire. Wesley's my Watcher," Jamie told them.
Buffy and Giles nodded with interest. As they got to know Jamie better, they went over their different adventures. Eventually, Buffy had to leave.
"I have to go. My mom's going to jump when she hears about me and Xander." Buffy told them. They said their goodbyes as Buffy got her things and left for her mother's house.
Spike crawled out of the dumpster near Willy's Place and winced as he felt the cuts and bruises all over his face. Most of the wounds had healed overnight, but he was still sore. He looked around to see if anyone was looking before he jumped out of the dumpster and fell to the floor in a heap.
The British vampire picked himself up off the ground and slowly walked out of the alley and crossed the road.
"If I get my hands on those demons again, I'll give'em a new reason to scream," Spike threatened to himself as he walked down the street, brushing the rubbish off of his duster.
He walked by a group of large bushes and didn't notice Kyle who stepped out and watched him walk around the corner. He shook his head knowingly as he watched Spike disappear. Kyle was about to go after him when he saw Buffy walk down the street across the road.
The evil vampire hid in the bushes and watched her every move as she left. He smiled and ran until he found a payphone. He dialed his Sire's mobile phone number and waited for him to pick up.
"Speak."
"Penn, it's me. Looks like you were right. Spike IS here in Sunnydale."
"I thought so. I guess he can't stay away from the Hellmouth. Good for nothing creature."
"It gets better. Buffy Summers is here as well."
There was a slight pause on the other end of the phone and Kyle knew that he had just pleased his Sire.
"I'm coming over there."
Kyle grinned at his Sire's answer and hung up the phone. He stepped out of the phone booth and stared at the full moon before walking down the same path that Buffy had traveled.
Buffy and Xander walked out of the movie theatre after watching a film that they had both wanted to see. They bought ice cream from the lobby and were eating it on the way home in the dead of night.
"So, what was your favorite part?" Xander asked her.
"In the movie?"
Xander nodded. "Yeah."
Buffy shrugged. "I don't know if I can decide. I like the bit with those kung fu moves. Where he hits that guy and sends him up to the next floor of that construction building."
Xander chuckled and took a bite of his ice cream. He clutched his forehead in pain as he felt the ice cream-induced headache rip through him. "Damn, I hate when that happens."
Buffy laughed. "An ice cream headache? I haven't had one of those since I was a kid."
Xander moved his hand away from his head and grinned through the slight pain. "Well, go ahead. Relive a fond memory."
Buffy decided to give it a try and bit into the ice cream hard and fast. Within seconds she felt an icy headache storm through her head like an ice pick in her skull. "Goddamn this is agony."
Xander laughed as they continued to walk through the park. They walked by several benches and didn't notice Kyle and Penn who were standing by watching them.
"Who is he?" Penn asked Kyle as he stared at the blonde man walking with Buffy.
His childe shrugged that he didn't know.
"That is Xander Harris," Spike told them as he came out of the bushes. Penn and Kyle turned around and gave him a sneer.
"Well, well. Look what came out of its hole," Kyle taunted him.
Spike shrugged. "I'd say your mother, but I don't see her here. Do you?"
Kyle became enraged and charged at the platinum haired vampire, but Penn pulled him back at the last minute and kept him in check.
"Xander Harris? Why do I know that name?" Penn asked the British vampire.
Spike looked at him. "He's the guy that's friends with Buffy. The one who's house we broke into that time in L.A.?"
Penn nodded with recognition. "Oh yeah."
Spike grinned. "Buffy also has a couple of red heads as friends, but I haven't seen them around anywhere. Maybe they're dead."
Kyle stared at the vampire that had caused he and his Sire a lot of damage. "What happened to your face? Some demons sit on it?"
"It's only temporary. And they caught me unawares," Spike told him coldly.
Penn was watching the pathway near the park and grinned as he saw Xander Harris walk away after leaving Buffy at her house.
"When I kill him, it'll make that Buffy bitch heave with pain."
Kyle and Spike turned to where Penn was looking and Spike realized that Penn was staring at Xander, who was walking down the path. Penn rushed towards the former lawyer and knocked him down to the ground.
Xander looked up at his attacker and knew that he was in a lot of trouble. With Buffy and Jamie nowhere in sight, it didn't look good.
"Who the hell are you?!?" Xander asked angrily, stalling for time.
Penn grinned down at him as he morphed into his vampiric face. "You can call me, 'Sire'."
Xander tried to get up but Penn kicked him in the face, knocking him unconscious in a heap. Spike and Kyle stood with Penn over the fallen mortal and Penn and his Childe grinned as they thought of what they were going to do to him.
"So you're going to turn him are you?" Spike asked the bespectacled vampire.
Penn shrugged. "It'll hurt Buffy to see one of her friends turned into one of us, and I've got nothing better to do."
Spike watched Penn lean in to bite Xander on the neck, but pulled him away from Xander at the last second.
"What the fuck are you doing? You never do that to Penn," Kyle said in rage.
Penn held up a hand to his Childe, silencing him quick. He turned back to Spike with curiosity. "Why did you do that?"
Spike threw him a grin. "It would get Blondie more if she knew that I was the one that turned him. After all, she could have killed me a long time ago, but she didn't."
"Yeah, funny about that," Kyle sneered as he walked off in a huff.
Penn stared at Spike and then at the unconscious Xander. "Well, aren't you going to turn him?"
Spike laughed. "Definitely. But not here on the ground. I have some class after all. By the way, if you're still so keen on killing Buffy, she lives at 1630 Revello Drive. I overheard some demons saying that she's moved back in with her mommy."
Penn nodded and walked away after Kyle as Spike picked up Xander and quickly left the area in the other direction that the two vampires had disappeared.
"Mom! I'm back!" Buffy called out as she sat down on the couch in the living room.
Joyce walked into the living room after coming down from upstairs and grinned. "So, how was the movie?"
Buffy shrugged. "It was good. Good action. Shame about the story, but that's not the best part."
The middle-aged woman sat down on the couch opposite her daughter and nodded. "What was the best part?"
"Xander and I are officially a couple," Buffy declared as Joyce screamed with joy and excitement.
Buffy grinned at her mother's outburst at the news. "I thought you wouldn't be shocked. You knew before me and Xander after all."
"Oh, Buffy. I'm just so happy for you. He is a really nice person. Not to mention that he's better than that Angel character," Joyce threw in.
Buffy shrugged. "You can't compare the two of them, Mom. That's like comparing birds and fish. Besides," Buffy added. "Xander's a better kisser."
Joyce grinned at her daughter's happiness. "I can't believe this. This is really good news."
Buffy nodded. "I know. I'm in love with him. I just never realized it. I think it was when we were in Roswell. It was so soon after what happened with Cordelia and Angel, I thought I was on a rebound. But I know now that I'm not on a rebound."
"That's good, honey. Where's Xander now?" Joyce asked her.
"If I know Xander, he's probably tied up in work." Buffy said with a shrug.
Xander stirred awake and felt a large throbbing pain in his jaw. He realized he was tied to a chair and watched with impending doom as he noticed Spike walk towards him with a knife in his hands.
"Well, you may have changed your hair color, but I still found you," Spike said with a grin as he made his way towards Xander who had a gag stuffed in his mouth.
Penn and Kyle found themselves standing outside Buffy's house. Penn had told his Childe to kill Buffy. He stood in the darkness and watched as Kyle approached the house, morphing into his demonic face. He slammed his fist down on the front door hard and fast, knocking the door off it's hinges.
Kyle ran back to the front of the house and waited for Buffy to appear. It didn't take her long.
"Boy, aren't you the dumbass? Don't you know that I'm not the Slayer anymore? I thought demons keep up with the times?" Buffy asked Kyle as she stepped outside, her mother staring out the living room window to see what was going on.
Kyle grinned as he ran his tongue over his sharp teeth. "We've been waiting for you for a long time."
"Well, the wait is over," Buffy told him and then kicked him hard in the face, sending him backwards on to the ground. Kyle picked himself up off the grass and dusted himself off.
Buffy stood her ground and waited for the attack as Kyle charged at her animalisticly. Buffy sidestepped him and grabbed him into a headlock. Buffy grabbed a rake that was lying on the grass and snapped it in half, taking the sharp handle in her hand and prepared to kill him.
"You think you're the only one we're after? Right now Spike has your blonde friend in our capture. Give it up, it's over. Penn! Penn! Do it now. Start the ceremony!" Kyle yelled out in fear. Buffy looked around and saw another vampire who was standing still, suddenly shook his head and walked away.
"Sire!! Where are you going?!? Help me!!" Kyle screamed out in panic just before Buffy slammed the make-shift stake into the vampire's chest. Kyle fell to the ground and combusted into ash, taking the sharp piece of wood with him.
Joyce ran outside as soon it was safe and ran to her daughter's side. "What is it? What's wrong?"
Buffy was frozen with fear. "They have Xander."
Buffy paced back and forth in her mother's house as Joyce and Giles sat down on the couch. Joyce watched her pace back and forth while Giles was looking through the Watcher's Guide that he had kept for many years.
"I can't believe this. Just when Xander and I begin to get our lives back on track, this happens. Spike and some stationery guy," Buffy said angrily.
"'Stationery Guy'?" Joyce asked her daughter.
Giles sighed with sadness and shook his head as he found what he was looking for in the Watcher's Guide.
"What? What did you find?" Buffy asked her former Watcher.
Giles looked up at her. "It's not good news I'm afraid. According to this, Penn is pretty old. Two hundred and ten years old actually. And it gets worse."
"How could it get worse?" Buffy asked him.
Giles sighed and waited for a few seconds before answering. "Angelus sired him."
"Angel turned him? That's great," Buffy said sarcastically.
Giles nodded. "The book says that Penn was a Puritan before Angelus turned him. He taught Penn to kill. After he killed his entire family, Angelus unleashed him upon the world. The last thing we need is a vampire running around with Angelus' experience and training. Perhaps we should call Angel and find out Penn's history? Because this book doesn't go into much detail."
"No!" Buffy exclaimed. "I don't want him anywhere near me or Xander. It's still too early to deal with all that history."
"Buffy, Xander's life is in danger. Not just from Penn, but from Spike also. I really don't think you should gamble with his life in order to protect yourself from some angst," Giles told her.
The former Slayer nodded. "I'm not going to sit on my hands, Giles. I'm not going to lose Xander. Not now and not ever. I'll track down Jamie and we'll head to the factory."
"The factory?" Joyce asked aloud in confusion.
Buffy nodded. "Spike is a creature of habit. He always goes to that damn factory."
"According to the Watcher's Guide, Penn is also a creature of habit. He's been known to re-enact his family's deaths by killing people in the present in the same manner that Angelus taught him. By carving a cross into their cheeks before draining them. Penn was in LA in 1929, 1963 and possibly in Boston in 1908. There was a rumor that he was killed ten years ago, but no one knew for sure," Giles said as he closed the book.
Buffy walked over to where the front door used to be. She stared at Giles before answering. "I meant what I said. No Angel. Jamie and I will handle this. And we'll tear this town apart to find Xander."
Giles and Joyce watched Buffy leave the house on her quest to rescue the man she loves.
"Good luck," Giles whispered as he watched her leave.
Spike walked slowly over to Xander, his knife gleaming in the moonlight. The British vampire grinned at the mortal and raised the knife as he made his way over to the tied up Xander.
"I've been wanting to do this for a long, long time," Spike told him again. Xander closed his eyes in preparation for the impending pain, but nothing came. Instead, his eyes opened, just in time to see Spike use the knife to cut away at the rope around his chest.
As soon as his arms were free, Xander pulled out the gag from his mouth and tossed it aside on the floor. Spike cut the rope that was tied around his legs and Xander jumped out of the chair and away from Spike.
"Here's that fifty I owe ya," Spike told him as he fished out a fifty dollar note and threw it in Xander's direction. Xander looked down at it at first, before picking it up and putting it in his pocket.
"What was that for?" Xander asked him cautiously.
Spike shrugged. "Ten years ago, you lent me fifty dollars. You've got it back now."
Xander was stunned and confused. "THIS is what you've been wanting to do for a long time?"
The British vampire nodded. "I hate owing people money. It's always on my mind and I can't concentrate on anything else. Ten goddamn years! Where the hell were you?!?"
Xander shrugged. "I've been all over the place. Aren't you going to kill me or something?"
The British vampire snorted. "In case you're going senile or something, let me recap. I have a chip in my head. Besides, I don't want to kill you."
"Why not?" Xander asked.
Spike shrugged. "I don't know. I just don't feel like it. I haven't had one of those Initiative headaches in over eight years."
Xander was surprised to hear that and he walked closer to Spike, despite his better judgment. "If this is true, and you're not here to kill me, then why did you kidnap me?"
The chipped vampire threw him a look. "I may not be able to kill anything, but Penn and Kyle sure can. Especially Penn. He's very good at what he does. He wanted to turn you right then and there on the street, so I made up some bullshit excuse and got ya out of there."
The former lawyer sighed. Of all the people, to turn good he didn't expect Spike to be one of them. Xander realized that Spike must have gotten used to the chip and had his bloodlust quenched severely.
"Why me? I haven't been in the Slaying game for a decade now," Xander told him.
Spike shook his head. "It's not you they're after. It's Buffy."
Xander stared at him in surprise at hearing that vampires were still after her. It scared him deeply.
Giles threw the Watcher's Guide across the room in anger and stood up. Olivia patted his shoulder in support and Giles let her comfort him as he thought about the situation.
"No matter how much I dig into this Penn character, nothing turns up. There is no reason whatsoever as to why Penn would suddenly be after Buffy. She's not even the Slayer anymore." Giles said in frustration.
Olivia nodded in agreement. "I know. Where's Buffy now?"
Giles looked at her. "She's at Jamie's house. We need an active Slayer's help on this. From the looks of things, Penn is an extremely dangerous vampire. He was sired by Angelus and taught the tricks of the trade."
"Why don't you just call Angel and find out?" his wife suggested.
The former Watcher shook his head. "No, no. I promised Buffy I wouldn't involve him. But lately, I've been sorely tempted to call him. Xander's life is at stake here. I don't think we can afford to risk it."
Olivia picked up the phone. "Well, why don't you call him?"
Giles took the phone and put it back in it's cradle, ignoring her suggestion. "What I can't figure out is the sudden change of character for Penn. One minute he's a normal..."
"Serial-killing vampire, and now he's after Buffy. Not to mention the fact that dear old Angelus sired him," Spike concluded to Xander in the same line of thought that Giles was in at that very time.
Xander shook his head. "Angel, Angel, Angel. Must everything come back to that idiot?"
Spike laughed. "Tell me about it. That guy's a serious pain in the neck."
"I guess we have something in common," Xander told him.
"What's that?" Spike asked him.
Xander shrugged. "He seems to have a knack for stealing our girlfriends."
Spike thought it over and nodded as he thought of Drusilla. "That prick sure knows how to pull the carpet out from under other guys. The way he swarmed all over my Dru."
Xander nodded bitterly. "Why didn't you do something about him?"
"I was in a wheelchair at the time. What could I have done? Run over his feet?" Spike asked angrily as he kicked the wall. He sat down and Xander followed the example.
Xander shook his head. "I'd love to kill him."
"Well, why don't you?" Spike asked him.
The former lawyer shrugged. "I can't. I realize that if I do kill him, then a lot of innocent people in L.A. that need his help, would end up suffering in the long run. Not to mention, Cordelia wouldn't have a protector out there in the city. I'm not going to be responsible for a whole bunch of deaths."
"Why not? It's fun," Spike told him with a grin as he hit him in the shoulder jokingly, the chip knew this and it was why nothing happened.
Xander gave him a look. "I can't believe that Penn doesn't realize that you haven't killed anyone lately."
"He's too preoccupied with his main project. One of them actually started getting wind of my predicament, so I had to kill her," Spike said as he mentioned Maria.
Xander stood up and had a look out of the factory's windows. He couldn't see anything in the darkness and Spike decided this was the time to tell him something else.
"By the way, Penn and Kyle are expecting me to turn you in here. So, I think we should be heading out soon," Spike told him.
Xander nodded. "I have to find Buffy. She has to know about those two."
Spike grinned. "She already knows about them by now. I told them where they could find her. Most likely she's already offed Kyle. Penn should be the same way."
Xander spun around and faced him. "I'm not going to leave her alone out there. By the way, whatever happened to Drusilla? Not that I care or anything, because she'd still be evil."
Spike nodded. "Well, last time I saw her, she was in Chicago. Feeding on some lucky priest."
"'Lucky'?" Xander asked in surprise.
"You haven't lived until you've had Dru suck on your neck. It's quite an experience," Spike said with a sick grin.
Xander made a sick face and walked over to the door of the factory. "We should go."
"We? I'm not going anywhere. I saved your ass, and now I'm leaving," Spike told him as he picked up his jacket and walked off to the exit.
"You can't leave. What about Penn?" Xander asked him in surprise.
Spike shrugged. "Penn's probably dust by now. I wouldn't worry about it."
Xander stopped him from leaving. "You told me that Penn is planning on sacrificing Buffy for some ritual involving a former Slayer to destroy the world. We have to find this altar first and stop the ritual from happening."
Spike howled in laughter, making Xander angry. "What's so fucking funny?"
"You are," Spike said as he shook his head. "You actually think that Penn is going to destroy the world over this former Slayer, do you?"
"Then what is it?" Xander asked.
Spike stepped closer to the mortal and smiled. "Penn has this knack of lying to get what he wants. Most demons do. They lie and exaggerate. When I first came here, a vamp said that he was at the crucifixion. He didn't look that old. Anyway, Penn lied to his crew so that they willingly went along with his plans. There's no sacrifice. There's no altar and there's no end of the world."
"But... I don't get it," Xander said, shaking his head in confusion.
The platinum blonde vampire grinned. "Ten years ago, Penn went up against Angel. Apparently he got his ass kicked. Not just by our mutually-hated vampire with a soul, but also by a mortal cop. He was almost staked. Needless to say he was pissed off by it. He found out about Buffy and her past with Angel, and he's been after her ever since. For revenge. Simple, sweet, uncorrupted revenge. And after he's killed Buffy and sent Angel her head, most likely he'll go after that cop and then he'll go after his Sire."
"Oh my god. I have to warn Buffy," Xander said as he left the factory. Spike followed him with a sigh.
"We have searched almost every factory within the town's limits and nothing. This is really starting to piss me off," Jamie commented as she and Buffy saw another factory and ran towards it.
As soon as they made it to the factory's front door, Oz and Willow's car pulled up and stopped. Willow got out and ran up to them.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Buffy asked her former friend.
Willow had a worried look on her face. "I heard about what happened. I want to help."
Buffy shook her head. "I have no time for this. I have to find Xander and the last thing I need is another argument. You want to help? Go home. Leave Xander and I and Sunnydale. You can't make things right. Drop dead."
Willow nodded slowly and walked away as tears threatened to burst. She made it to her car and started talking to Oz. Jamie watched as Oz consoled her and they continued talking.
"Weren't you a little hard on her?" Jamie asked her predecessor.
Buffy shook her head. "Actually, I was being very subdued. It's nothing that she doesn't deserve."
They walked away and didn't notice that Oz and Willow continued to follow them in their car.
"What about that factory? Did we check that one?" Buffy asked as they pointed to the factory that held Spike and Xander.
Jamie shook her head and they both ran off to the old warehouse.
Sheila and Melissa partied with two other vampires in the Sunnydale tunnels as they rotated a human body around on an old table.
"I'm bored," Peter, one of the other vampires, commented.
Trevor stared at him. "Well, why don't you go outside?"
"And risk running into the Slayer? Damn bitch already took off my hand," Peter told him as he showed him his nubbin.
Sheila grinned. "That was very cool. For what it's worth."
Peter threw her a sarcastic grin and played with his food. A door to their crypt opened and Penn walked inside with a grin.
"Who the hell are you?" Melissa asked him angrily.
Penn grinned. "I'm the one that's gonna give you the opportunity of a lifetime. Who wants to kill a former Slayer?"
All four vampires' interests picked up at the mention of the retired Slayer. "Buffy Summers? She's back?"
"That's right. And I need a group that will help make sure she retires for good," Penn told them as he morphed into his vampire face.
The four vampires left the human body alone and stood up. "What are we waiting for? Let's go."
"There's nothing here. Nothing," Buffy said angrily as she hit the wall. Frustration set in as they looked over the empty factory where Spike and Xander were.
Jamie nodded. "Maybe it might be better if we split up? You know, double our chances of finding him alive."
Buffy nodded in agreement and started to leave the factory. "If you see Spike, be careful. If his chip is out, he's very dangerous. He's already killed two slayers in the past."
"Chip?"
The former Slayer sighed. "It's a long story. But things might have changed in the past ten years."
Jamie watched Buffy run off in one direction while she ran off in another in search of Xander.
Spike and Xander were on their way to Buffy's house when they saw a group of people walking towards them. It wasn't until they got closer to the small group that Xander knew they were vampires.
Xander and Spike froze as the four vampires approached them. Realizing Penn was also walking with the group.
"Hey Penn. What's happening," Spike said as he continued to play along.
Penn shrugged. "Kyle's dead so I decided to make a bigger and better gang to catch Buffy. I see Harris is up and about."
Spike turned to Xander and back to Penn. The blonde haired lawyer realized that the vampires were looking at him funny.
"Yeah, I turned him. I don't usually turn men, with me being a little queasy with the whole 'gay' thing. But it's done," Spike lied to the group.
Penn nodded and smiled. He stared at Xander and then thought of something. "Well, go ahead and change."
"Change?" Xander asked the older vampire in confusion.
"Change your face. Show us the better you," Penn told him.
Xander and Spike started to panic slightly as they knew Penn might suddenly be onto them. Xander tried to think of something to cover it up and could only say the first thing that came to his mind.
"I don't really like to morph into my vamp face. It puts a strain on my facial muscles. It gives me muscle cramps." Xander lied to him as the other vampires in Penn's group snickered.
Penn shook his head in annoyance. "You change now!"
"I'm his Sire, Penn and he does what I say," Spike challenged the older vampire.
The bespectacled vampire nodded in agreement. "Then you tell him to change into his true face."
Spike thought it over and couldn't think of any other excuses to make. Peter grinned. "I smell a human."
Penn shook his head as he also noticed a human. He gave Spike an evil look. "He's full of shit," Penn said as he pointed to Xander. He then pointed at Spike and snarled. "And you're full of shit."
Spike and Xander slowly took a few steps back to get ready to run, as they could feel the tension in the air thicken. Penn's new cronies morphed into their vamp faces and Xander whispered to Spike that they should run back to the factory.
Xander and Spike turned and ran off towards the factory, causing Peter, Melissa, Sheila and Trevor to run after them in pursuit. Penn took off after them as well. Xander and Spike ran for their lives.
They made it to the factory and slammed the door shut, barricading it with a large plank.
"I don't know what that's going to do. We can get into factories without being invited," Spike told him anxiously as the vampires smashed up against the door, trying to break it down.
Xander was confused. "How come Penn couldn't sense I was human?"
Spike shrugged as they tried to stop the vampires from breaking in. "Maybe he's got too much on his mind. Maybe he's too far gone to notice it anymore. Ten years of chasing an obsession can do that to a person. Human or not."
Xander pointed behind him and Spike noticed the large amount of wood on the floor near the corner. The vampire grinned as they both ran to the stack and broke the wood into make-shift stakes.
The front door broke wide open and the vampires ran in, simply tossing the plank of wood to the side of the room. They grinned at Spike and Xander with evil intent and charged toward them. Spike kicked Trevor and Sheila in the head, knocking them to the floor while Xander got into a fistfight with Melissa and Peter. Spike saw that Xander wasn't doing so well and jumped in, throwing Xander to the ground, slamming a piece of wood into Peter's head. Peter fell to the floor in shock, his undead body convulsing as he clutched the stake sticking out of his head with his only hand.
Spike caught Melissa by the throat and slammed her against the brick wall. He hit her hard in the face and then rammed a stake into her chest. Melissa turned to dust, taking the stake with her.
Sheila and Trevor swarmed around their two potential victims and snarled viciously. "You're going to regret that," Sheila told Spike as Peter groaned from the floor. Trevor looked down at him and wrenched the stake from out of the vampire's skull.
"This stick's for you," Trevor told him as he jumped at Spike with ferocity. Trevor slammed the stake into Spike's chest, narrowly missing his heart and knocking the both of them to the floor. Spike roared out in pain and in turn Xander kicked Trevor in the back with a force that sent the demon over Spike crashing to the floor.
Spike got up and ripped out the stake with a feral cry of rage and jammed the stake into Trevor's stomach. He then smashed the vampire's head into the floor repeatedly with his boot. Sheila was about to pounce on Spike when Xander got her attention by throwing a piece of wood at the back of her head.
"I didn't like you in high school and I sure as hell don't like you now," Xander told her angrily, making her snarl in anger.
Sheila stalked towards him like a panther. "I'm gonna bite your fucking head off."
She jumped on top of him in rage, knocking the both of them to the floor, while Spike continued to bash in Trevor's head. Spike heard the audible crack of the vampire's head and then watched as Trevor disintegrated underneath his boot.
The British vampire grinned at his victory and turned around to see Sheila about to drain Xander.
Willow and Oz were driving down streets looking for Xander and so far they hadn't found anyone resembling him. Oz pulled the car over to the curb and kept the engine on in neutral.
"What are you doing? We have to find him," Willow told him hurriedly.
Oz nodded. "I know. But we've looked everywhere. It's not like we're suddenly going to stumble upon Xander."
Penn appeared from outside the car and smashed the driver side window, pulling Oz out of the car head first. Penn leaned in close to Oz's neck as Willow stumbled quickly for the stun gun she kept in the glove compartment.
"You must be the red head friends of Buffy's that Spike told me about," Penn said calmly. His grip on Oz's throat became tighter as he started to become agitated.
"Since that Xander Harris human has escaped me with that no good vampire, I've been wondering. Where is he? He might be at the factory but I'm not exactly sure," Penn asked with a grin as he leaned in to Oz's neck, his fangs just about touching his neck.
Willow shook her head quickly. "We don't know where he is."
"Sure you do. And while I'm here, where's Buffy? She's not at home now," Penn told them.
"We don't know!" Willow screamed at him as she tried to find the stun gun.
Penn grinned. "Too bad for you," He quickly bit into Oz's neck and drank his blood for a minute before releasing him from his grasp and wincing in disgust.
"What the hell are you?!?" Penn asked the adult werewolf as he spat out the blood he had taken from Oz. Willow found the stun gun, turned it on and stabbed Penn in the chest with it. The electricity blast shocked the vampire, sending Angel's childe hurtling backwards into the bushes. Oz put the car into drive and drove away from the fallen vampire.
Penn stood up and rubbed his chest as he watched the car leave. "Bitch."
Oz and Willow sped around the corner in a rush until they were both sure that they were far ahead of Penn.
"I don't believe this," Willow said as she stared at the ugly bite mark on her husband's neck.
Oz nodded in agreement but his sight was set elsewhere. "I don't believe it either."
Willow turned to see what he was looking at and her eyes widened in relief as she saw Buffy walking down the street. Willow got out of her car along with Oz and they headed over to her in a rush.
Buffy saw her and sighed inwardly. "What are you two doing here?"
"We were looking for Xander when we were attacked by this vampire. He bit Oz," Willow told her.
Buffy looked at Oz in a worried expression. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah." Oz nodded. "But that vampire knew about Xander. And you. And Spike for some reason. It sounded like Spike and Xander are on the run from him. And it also sounded like that vampire is the brains of the group."
Buffy stared at him. "Do you know where Xander is? Did he say anything?"
Oz nodded. "The vamp said that he might be at the factory. With Spike around, it could very well be the factory just outside of town."
Buffy shook her head. "I was there for awhile and there was nothing."
"Maybe he's there now," Oz suggested.
The former Slayer nodded and was about to leave when Willow grabbed her arm. "We'll give you a lift there."
"No. It's faster if I go through the shortcuts." Buffy told her as she pulled out of Willow's grip and ran off towards the factory.
Willow sighed and headed back with Oz to their car.
Penn walked into the factory and saw Sheila getting thrown off Xander by Spike and hurtling towards the wall. Peter stood up with a hole in his head, he had a dazed look in his eyes as he stumbled around.
"I should have listened to Kyle. He was right about you. It's funny, I've never killed a vampire before," Penn told Spike, making the others in the room stop what they were doing and stare at him as he walked further into the room.
Buffy charged into the populated factory with a few sharp pieces of wood that she had found outside. Sheila, Peter, Spike, Xander and Penn stared at her in surprise as she stepped into the large factory.
Penn quickly lost interest in Spike as Buffy charged toward Spike who appeared to be leaning down to kill Xander. She kicked him hard in the head and sent him flying. Buffy ran over to the fallen vampire quick and was about to stake him when Xander stopped her.
"No! He's alright. It's only the others," Xander told her as Spike got up off the floor slowly, dusting himself off.
"Nice seeing you again too, Buff," Spike said with a smile.
Buffy shook her head and faced the other three vampires who chuckled at the scene they just witnessed. She noticed the vampire she spotted outside her house and knew he was the one called Penn.
"So, you're Penn. I know a lot of things about you. Tell me something. Since when does a vampire need glasses?" Buffy threw at him as they circled each other the vampires moved away from the two adversaries.
Penn shrugged. "It's purely for fashion reasons."
"I hear you want me. Here I am," Buffy told him as she twirled a stake in her hand.
Xander didn't know what was going on. He knew that Buffy was retired and hadn't really done that type of thing for a number of years now. Xander knew that there was a possibility that she wouldn't make it and it scared him. He would have helped her, but Sheila attacked him from behind and threw him against the wall and jumped on his back when Xander moved away from the wall in a daze.
Buffy turned around to see what was going on and Penn used that opportunity to attack. He ran toward her and kicked the stakes from out of her hand, making her wince in pain. The sharp pieces of wood went flying across the room, scattering everywhere.
Buffy berated herself for the loss of concentration and Penn grinned. "Finally I get to meet the legendary Buffy Summers. I wonder if I should have your head gift wrapped when I send it to Angelus. What do you prefer?"
"Your death," Buffy told him as Angelus' childe charged at her, he grabbed her by the throat and lifted her up off of the ground. He chuckled before he threw her across the room where she crashed into the wood pile.
Xander was trying to get over to help Buffy and throw Sheila off his back at the same time. He slammed her up against the wall and she pulled a knife out that she had kept hidden. She tried to stab him with it, but Xander got out of the way and slammed the knife into her chest.
Sheila released her vampiric grip on Xander and he pulled the knife out of her, and jammed a stake in instead. She looked shocked as she realized she was defeated. Xander watched her crumble to dust before accidentally bumping into Spike and Peter wrestling about. Spike jammed his thumb into Peter's gaping hole in his head, making the wounded vampire scream out in pain. Spike grabbed his head and twisted it hard, snapping Peter's neck easily. The vampire fell to the floor where Spike slammed a stake into his chest fast.
As Peter burst into ashes, Spike got up and stopped Xander from rushing over to help Buffy.
"Uh-uh. No fair going into the ring unless she tags you first," Spike told him as Buffy and Penn beat the living hell out of each other.
Xander got out of Spike's hold and ran to Sheila's knife. He picked it up and was ready to strike when Buffy needed help. Penn fell to his knees when Buffy hit him hard in the stomach and kicked him away from her.
"You came to kill me to get to Angel. You should keep up with the times, Penn. I'm not involved with Angel anymore," Buffy told him as she jerked her head over towards Xander.
Penn turned to face Xander in shock and then realized that the end result of the ten years of searching for Buffy was all for nothing, caused him to snap. He remembered that Frankie Tripod had told him and the others that Buffy and Angel split apart, but somehow he forgot it. He screamed in an unholy rage and jumped on Buffy with unnatural speed. He knocked her to the floor and left her winded.
"See what happens when you piss me off?" Penn snarled at her as he went in for the kill.
Spike watched Xander run behind Penn with silent rage. He grabbed the vampire by the forehead and sliced open the vampire's throat with Sheila's knife. Blood spilled out onto Buffy's neck and shirt as Penn got up off of her, knocking Xander to the floor as he clutched the neck wound that was pouring out blood between his fingers.
Buffy, Xander and Spike watched Penn gurgle some inaudible words. He tried to escape the factory but disintegrated before he could reach the door. The three survivors watched the two hundred and ten year old Penn turn into ashes and become a part of the dust on the old factory's floor.
Xander picked Buffy up off the floor and they checked each other for injuries before enveloping each other in a desperate embrace. Spike turned away from the sight and quietly left the factory, leaving Buffy and Xander to themselves.
Xander and Buffy walked out of the factory with smiles on their faces, relieved that the both of them got through the latest ordeal. Buffy stood, wiping Penn's blood off of her when she saw Spike standing there.
"He saved me when he didn't have to," Xander told her as he filled her in on everything that happened.
Buffy refused to believe any of it. "There's no way, he has a soul."
Spike cut in. "Hey, hey, hey! I don't have a soul, alright? I don't want a soul either. The last thing I need is to become like that no good ex of yours."
"Fine," Buffy gave in. "But I hear one word of you attacking an innocent person and you won't just have the present Slayers after your blood. You'll have me after you too."
The blonde vampire nodded in surrender. "I haven't wanted to hurt someone for eight years. But there IS something you can do for me."
"I should have known. What is it?" Buffy asked him tiredly.
Spike grinned hopefully. "Could you tell the new Slayer here about me and my predicament? I kinda want to move back in to this town and I don't want to be on the receiving end of a stake, if you catch my drift."
Buffy nodded. "Okay, I'll say something, but what I previously said still applies."
Spike nodded in agreement, as the three of them saw Jamie run towards them in a hurry. "Buffy! I've been looking everywhere for you."
She stopped as she got up to them. "Xander? You're okay?"
Xander nodded. "Apart from some bruising, I'll be fine."
Spike sensed that Jamie was the new Slayer and hesitated. "You're the new slayer."
Jamie nodded at him. "Yeah. Who are you?"
"It's a long story," Buffy told her as she dragged Jamie away and told her about Spike and his situation. She seemed wary about the prospect of letting a vampire live in the town, but she trusted Buffy's judgment.
The former Slayer walked over to a smiling Xander and they kissed for the first time since Xander's abduction. They held each other as their lips pressed against each other, deepening the kiss.
Spike turned away from the scene and noticed Willow, Oz and Jamie watching them. Oz and Jamie smiled at the new couple, but when Oz turned to see Willow's reaction, he got the distinct feeling that she was a little jealous. He sighed and turned back to the couple in front of them.
Buffy and Xander ended their passionate kiss and smiled at each other before facing the witnesses in front of them. Buffy noticed a homeless man stumble out of an alley next to the factory and stood still watching the group.
The homeless man walked over to Spike with recognition. "Don't I know you?"
Spike looked at him with awkwardness. "Uh, uh, no. No, you don't."
The unkempt man shook his head as he recognized him, waving his finger at him. "Yeah, that's right! I DO know you. You volunteer down at the shelter don't ya?"
Buffy and Xander looked at the British vampire in shock.
"Bye Gus," Spike told him as nodded.
The blonde vampire shrugged to the others as they watched Gus walk away.
Spike realized one of his secrets was up. "Yeah, alright?!? I volunteer for feeding the homeless and stuff. When I started it, it was for a laugh. But I guess I got used to it."
Xander chuckled while Buffy was speechless. "Okay, man. Whatever."
Willow shook her head as she watched Buffy and Xander. "Three months ago, I thought that they could forgive me in time. I know that it's not going to happen now. This is a permanent thing."
Oz nodded. "I know. I'm sorry that this happened."
"I should never have gone through with that permanent soul spell for Angel and Cordy. It's caused us all nothing but trouble," Willow told him.
The young werewolf shook his head. "You did it because Angel and Cordelia are in love and they needed it. You didn't know that Buffy and Xander would have suffered by it."
"It doesn't look like they're suffering now, do they?" Willow asked him as they looked at Buffy and Xander holding hands as they talked with Spike.
Oz shook his head. "You should be glad that they're seeing each other. They look happy to me."
Willow shook her head sadly. "Don't you think they're jumping into a relationship too quickly? After everything that's happened, don't you think that it's too soon?"
Her husband turned to her and shook his head. "Are you worried about them or are you worried about yourself?"
Willow didn't say anything as she just stared at the new couple in front of them, before they walked back to their car and drove back to Willow's mother's house.
Spike left with Jamie as he told her stories about how he tried to kill Buffy in the past. Buffy and Xander watched them leave with a grin.
"I don't know what's going to happen, but I want to take things to the next step," Buffy told him.
Xander grinned. "Well, we're not getting any younger. Not that I'm saying you're old or anything."
The blonde woman laughed. "I know, silly. But we're both almost hitting thirty. I don't want to waste time on dates and other teenage things, do you?"
"That's a pretty stupid question, Miss Summers," Xander told her as they kissed once more and headed for Xander's house.
All the fear has left me now
I'm not frightened anymore
It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh
it's my mouth that pushes out this breath
The sun rose up over the waking town of Sunnydale as the birds began to chirp from their tree branches.
and if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
and if I feel a rage I won't deny it
I won't fear love
People began to get into their cars and drive out of their driveways for work.
Companion to our demons
they will dance, and we will play
With chairs, candles, and cloth
making darkness in the day
A slight breeze blew in through Xander's bedroom window, the sunlight shining into the room.
It will be easy to look in or out
upstream or down without a thought
and if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
Buffy started to awake from the night's sleep and at first, she was confused as to where she was. She smiled as she remembered what happened when she and Xander had gotten to his house.
and if I feel a rage I won't deny it
I won't fear love
Peace in the struggle
to find peace
Memories of the night flooded her as she thought about the passion she and Xander shared last night. Buffy had forgotten how great it was to experience physical love with another human being. It wasn't like sex with Angel. With him, she was the only one breathing, the only one sweating, the only warm body between the sheets. It had gotten to a point where she felt odd about making love with him. But she never spoke up about it to anyone.
comfort on the way
to comfort
and if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
Xander woke up and found Buffy watching him with a smile. He checked his mouth self consciously.
"Was I drooling?" Xander asked in embarrasment.
Buffy shook her head. "No. It's okay for a girlfriend to watch her boyfriend sleep, isn't it?"
Xander nodded with a grin. "Yeah, of course it is. Just as it's okay for me to do this."
Buffy flinched and burst out with laughter as Xander began to tickle her relentlessly, their naked bodies thrashing about underneath Xander's satin sheets.
and if I feel a rage I won't deny it
I won't fear love
I won't fear love
I won't fear love...
Buffy and Xander sat in the living room after they had gotten dressed. A couple of hours had passed since they woke up and now they were watching the news on television. It was something about gang violence and how people are usually unprepared for the outcome. Buffy shook her head when she thought about what happened with Penn.
"What's wrong?" Xander asked her.
Buffy shook her head again. "We came so close to losing last night."
"It's okay now. It's over," Xander told her.
The former Slayer stared at him. "I haven't been a Slayer for over ten years. I had no stakes or any other weapons. Neither did you. We have been out of the game for so long, we forgot how it's played."
Xander shrugged. "I don't know about you, but I'm glad you're not slaying anymore. I don't fancy the idea of you going out there facing God knows what. Leave the slaying to the new guys. They seem to be handling it just fine without us for a decade now, let's not disturb it."
"What if it happens again? What if another vampire or thing like Penn shows up expecting a fight?" Buffy asked him.
"Then we'll give it to them. With both barrels," Xander told her comfortingly as he rubbed her arm gently.
They relaxed into each other and continued to watch the Channel 6 news when there was a knock on the front door. Xander got up off the couch and walked over to the door. He opened it and found Giles and Olivia standing on the other side.
"Come on in," Xander told them as he waved them in.
"Thanks," Giles said to him as he and his wife entered Xander's house, surprised to find Buffy in the living room.
"Buffy, are you okay? Jamie told me what happened," Giles told her.
The former Slayer nodded. "I'm fine. It was a close call, but that's what happens when you're unprepared."
"You have been retired for a long time," Giles told her.
"I know." Buffy agreed.
Giles stared at her. "You're not thinking of coming out of retirement are you?"
Buffy noticed Xander and Giles' worried looks and she shook her head, making them sigh in relief. "I don't want to go back to that life. I want to be normal. It's what I've always wanted."
Xander grinned at her as he caught the double meaning to her last comment. The fact that she preferred him over Angel sent him over the moon.
Giles and Olivia sat down on the spare seats on the couch before he spoke up again. "Jamie also told me about Spike. She said that he wants to stay in Sunnydale again."
"Yeah. It looks like the chip in his head has seriously quenched his violent tendencies towards humans," Buffy told him.
Olivia looked concerned. "Are you sure about that? What if he's pretending?"
Xander shook his head. "I don't think so. He didn't have to rescue me from Penn and his buddies. He didn't even have to come back here. Not to mention that there was this homeless guy that said that Spike volunteers down at some homeless shelter."
"He does what?!?" Giles asked in stunned shock.
Buffy nodded. "Yeah, he kinda shocked us with that too. That chip curbed his demonic rage for ten years. It must have forced his other emotions to the surface. Vampires still have the human emotions they had when they were alive, but the rage quells most of it."
"Well, where has he been for all those years?" Giles asked in curiosity.
Buffy shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe he's been... I have no idea what he's been up to. I just hope that his little obsession with me is over now."
Giles nodded with agreement. "Well, this is one for the books. Jamie didn't tell me much about Spike, she had to go to her Watcher."
"Did you meet him yet?" Xander asked him.
The former Watcher shook his head. "No, I haven't, but I will eventually. I'm going to go over and see him soon, to see if he's doing anything differently than how I did it."
Olivia grinned. "Rupert told me that you two are now a couple. Congratulations."
The two blondes grinned nodded their thanks. "Well, it was a long time coming."
"Definitely," Buffy said as she agreed with her boyfriend.
Giles smiled. "So I guess you won't be leaving Sunnydale for better places now, huh?"
"You got that right." Buffy told him.
Xander stood up and walked over to the kitchen at the same time the phone rang. "I'll get it," Xander told Buffy as he walked into his bedroom and picked up the phone from in there.
Buffy began to talk to Giles about the nightclub and she told him that Oz was going to be playing there soon with his band.
"I made sure the club was alright without the two of you last night. Things went smoothly. Well, about as smooth as it could be for that wretched band you wanted," Giles told her.
Buffy was worried. "Didn't the audience like them?"
Giles nodded. "Yeah they did. That's the problem. Rock concerts have changed drastically since Woodstock."
"Woodstock? Jesus, Rupert." Olivia sighed with a grin.
Buffy shook her head with a grin, but her smile faded when she saw Xander walk out of his bedroom slowly with a dejected look on his face.
"What is it? What's wrong?" Buffy asked him with worry.
Xander shook his head as he stared at the three of them with an unfamiliar look in his eyes. "I just got a phone call."
"We gathered that," Buffy told him as she wanted to know why her boyfriend was so upset.
Xander shook his head again and ran a hand through his hair. "It was Cordelia."
Buffy sighed inwardly as she heard Xander's ex's name. "What did she want?"
The former lawyer looked at her in sadness. "She's pregnant."
Buffy nodded as realization set in. The last thing she wanted was to see Xander get hurt by that woman again, after all the progress that he made since moving back to Sunnydale, it was the last thing he needed.
"How did she know your phone number?" Olivia asked with wonder.
Xander shrugged. "I'm in the phone book, she must have got it from there."
Olivia nodded and Giles shook his head with disbelief. "It isn't possible. Vampires are sterile creatures."
"I know," Xander nodded with awareness. "I'm the father."
The blonde man watched Buffy, Giles and Olivia's mouths gape open in shock as they couldn't believe their ears.
Joyce Summers
Buffy Summers
Xander Harris
Priscilla Osborne
Willow Osborne
Daniel Osborne (Oz)
Rupert Osborne
Olivia Giles
Rupert Giles
Kyle Chomsky
Maria Petrescu
Penn
Stacey Griffith
Mike Davis
Allan Francis Doyle
Spike
Frankie Tripod
Jake Ward
Sammis
Jamie Preston
Dr. Gold
Willy
Tom Cribb
Val Trepkos
Ms. Sursok
Sheila
Melissa
Peter
Trevor
Gus
Cordelia Chase
Angel
David
Wesley Wyndham Price
Sheila Rosenberg
Ampata Gutierrez
Anya
Faith
Parker Abrams
Veruca
Charles Manson
Jenny Calendar
The Master
Mayor Richard Wilkens
Adam
Glory
Tessa
Eddie Murphy
Steve Martin
Principal Snyder
Krystal Mackenzie
Devon
Drusilla
Hank Summers
Kate Lockley
BTVS episode "I Only Have Eyes For You" (Season 2, episode 19)
"Chances Are" BTVS Fanfiction written by Melissa Flores at mistyjox[at]hotmail.com
"Sleeping Beauty" written by Charles Perrault (1697)
"Hazard" BTVS Fanfiction written by Melissa Flores at mistyjox[at]hotmail.com
"Table Etiquette" BTVS Fanfiction written by Melissa Flores at mistyjox[at]hotmail.com
BTVS episode "Ted" (Season 2, episode 11)
"Animaniacs" distributed by Warner Bros. (1993-1998)
"We're In This Together" performed by Nine Inch Nails (1999)
BTVS episode "The Prom" (Season 3, episode 20)
BTVS episode "Graduation Day Part 2" (Season 3, episode 22)
Roswell distributed by WB/UPN (1999-2002)
BTVS episode "Doppelgangland" (Season 3, episode 16)
BTVS episode "Choices" (Season 3, episode 19)
BTVS episode "Lover's Walk" (Season 3, episode 8)
BTVS episode "Consequences" (Season 3, episode 15)
BTVS episode "The Harsh Light Of Day" (Season 4, episode 3)
"Deep Inside Of You" performed by Third Eye Blind (1999)
"Jumanji" distributed by Columbia Tri Star Television (1996)
"Jumanji" distributed by Columbia Tri Star Pictures (1995)
BTVS episode "Wild At Heart" (Season 4, episode 6)
BTVS episode "Something Blue" (Season 4, episode 9)
BTVS episode "Inca Mummy Girl" (Season 2, episode 4)
"In These Arms" BTVS Fanfiction written by Melissa Flores at mistyjox[at]hotmail.com
"The One" performed by Rob Zombie (1996)
BTVS episode "Amends" (Season 3, episode 10)
BTVS episode "Prophecy Girl" (Season 1, episode 12)
BTVS episode "Becoming Part 2" (Season 2, episode 22)
BTVS episode "Primevel" (Season 4, episode 21)
"Bowfinger" distributed by Universal Pictures (1998)
"Blade 2: Blood Hunt" distributed by New Line Cinema (2002)
"Blade 3" distributed by New Line Cinema (Unknown)
"Hold On" performed by Sarah McLachlan (1993)
Effexor Anti-Depressants created in (1993)
Girlfriend band created in (1994-1996)
Frente! band created in (1991-1998)
"Dangerous" performed by Frente! (1994)
BTVS episode "Homecoming" (Season 3, episode 5)
Angel episode "The Ring" (Season 1, episode 16)
"Gone With The Wind" distributed by MGM (1939)
BTVS episode "The Initiative" (Season 4, episode 7)
Angel episode "Somnambulist" (Season 1, episode 11)
BTVS episode "School Hard" (Season 2, episode 3)
"Fumbling Towards Ecstacy" performed by Sarah McLachlan (1998)