The Peanut Gallery

A Buffy the Vampire Slayer Fanfiction Story

Author: Jason Thompson <jwt6577[at]>

May 24, 2003

Disclaimer: Once upon a time there was a guy he wrote a story with characters and settings he didn't own, but he put a disclaimer on his story and that made it a little less illegal. BTVS is owned by Joss, Fox, Mutant Enemy, and the UPN. I don't own anything except the situation characters are in.

Category: AU


Warnings: Some Language

Summary: Molly and Anya start a phenomenon.

Rating: PG-13

Distribution: Ask First.


Dedication: Dedicated to the usual suspects; Bri, Mary, Duchess, Dale, Blaire, Stone Cold, Ice Wing, Arashi, Aslan, Vega, Tony D, Jen Zimmer, Louise, Sairs, and Queen Angel who have allowed me to bounce my ideas off them, and Krac, cause she has the evil bunny slippers.

Dawn skipped down the steps, her headphones blared a track from her favorite mix-CD. She bounced through the dining room into the kitchen and opened the freezer; she pulled out a can of frozen lemonade. She dropped the can into the sink and ran water over it to thaw it out, "Five minutes away from lemony goodness."

She was about to leave the kitchen when she noticed Molly and Anya looking out the back window. She pulled her headphones off and could hear the sounds of the stereo being punctuated by hammering out back. "God it's like a thousand degrees outside, what's going on back there." Anya and Molly made no move to turn, they said nothing, and she might as well not have said anything for all the response she received. She walked towards the pair, "Hey. Guys? Anya? Molly?" She looked over their shoulder to see what they were watching. "What is so fascinating out... there? Oh wow..."


Faith entered the kitchen a couple of minutes later. She found a crowd gathered at the window. Molly, Anya and Dawn were completely spellbound by something out back. "What are you watching?"

Dawn turned around, barely, "Xander's out back extending the back porch."

Faith smirked and crossed the kitchen, "Well, this should be good for a couple of..." She trailed off at the sight she found, "Fuck! Boy-Toy, where have you been all my life?" Outside, baking in the afternoon sun was one Xander Harris, wearing tennis shoes and a pair of black Adidas shorts. He was shirtless and dripping sweat, they watched his muscles play under his tanned skin as he hauled lumber out of the bed of his truck.

He pulled a post-hole digger out of the bed and a tape measure out of the tool box. He took some measurements then checked the strings he'd marked the yard off with. He took out a can of spray paint and marked several Xs on the grass. He removed the string then picked up the digger and began to dig on one of the Xs.

Molly nodded and Anya took a sip from her drink box before she said, "What did I say Molly, watching Xander do heavy work is very enjoyable."

Molly nodded, "Anya, I will never doubt you again."

All four tilted their heads when Xander began to dig while facing away from them. The same word tripped off their lips, "Damn."

Faith pointed, "Now see, I would have remembered him having legs like that when I popped his cherry."

Anya smiled wistfully, "Construction agreed with him."

Faith smiled, "I'll say, he's looking awfully tasty right now."

Molly fanned herself slightly, "Is it me, or is it terribly warm?"

Dawn followed a bead of sweat as it slid down Xander's arm as he took a short rest with her eyes, her throat felt a little dry suddenly, "No, it's not just you."

Faith then noticed they weren't alone; Colleen and Chao-Ahn had joined the gawkers as well. She turned back to the window to find Xander downing water from a gallon jug. It wasn't like a movie, where Xander threw caution to the wind and dumped the jug on his head; he merely chugged for a while and then wiped any that didn't clear his lips away and took a deep breath. He capped the jug and set it aside, wiped the sweat from his brow and got back to work.

However, just because he didn't do it in reality, didn't mean in every one of their mind's eyes he didn't do it, because Faith knew for damn sure he did it in her head. Willow voice caused them all to jump, "Wow... Xander's just got everyone's full attention, doesn't he?"

Faith shook her head, "Sorry Red, but that boy has filled out."

The Witch nodded, and watched as Xander dug another hole, she considered him for a moment, "They'd pull my Lesbian card for thinking it, but I can definitely see what you mean. Happy gawking ladies." Willow's exit was as ignored as her entrance.

Much like Buffy's entrance, which caused her remark to startle the girls again, "What are we looking at?"

Anya took another sip of her juice box, "Molly and I are watching Xander get all manly and sweaty, and all of you are horning in on our action."

Dawn smiled, "There's plenty of action to go around."

Buffy sighed and began to push her way to the front, "Oh come on he can't be that good to loo-" She caught sight of Xander driving a post into the ground with a sledge. "Whoa." She turned back to Anya, "Where the Hell did he get those muscles?"

Dawn smiled and stepped away, she walked over to the sink when she noticed something missing. "Where's my Lemonade?"

Anya squawked and jumped up, "HUSSIES!"


Faith smiled and leaned against the tailgate of his truck while Molly poured three glasses. "Xander?"

Xander paused in his swing nearly letting the hammer fly off; he turned and smiled brightly, "Hey!" He set the hammer down and walked over to them. "What do I owe the honor of you two braving this mid-April heat wave?" Xander grabbed a towel and began to dry his face.

Molly smiled and handed him a glass, "Faith and I thought you could use some toweling off-" She flushed suddenly and laughed nervously, "I mean some company, a-a-and a drink, of course."

Xander smiled, politely ignoring Molly's slip of the tongue, "Thanks."

He slung the towel over his shoulder and ran a hand through his now damp hair; he took a long drink and gave the response that had been genetically encoded into human beings after a cold glass of lemonade on a blisteringly hot day since the drink was invented, "Ah!"

Faith stood up and gently traced vague patterns on his chest, "Xand... Anya mentioned you have air conditioning. Is this true?" She'd been watching her finger for the sole purpose of being able to look up at him from under her lashes.

He shrugged, "Yeah."

She grinned innocently, "She mentioned a pool too." He nodded silently and watched Faith's finger tracing figure eights on his chest, he failed to notice Faith wink at Molly, or the younger girl blushing slightly. "Well, why don't the three of us go take a dip in that pool, then spend the afternoon in the AC?"

Xander raised an eyebrow, "I was gonna call it a day anyway, I'm baking out here. Sounds like a plan."

Faith smiled brightly, "Great, we'll hit the mall on the way and pick up a couple of swim suits and be on our way."

Xander nodded and downed the last of his lemonade and set the glass on the back porch. Molly and Faith followed suit. Xander grabbed his T-shirt, pulled it on and grabbed his keys.

Faith pushed the younger woman towards the passenger side door gently and said, "You ever play spin the bottle Molly?"

She shook her head, "No, I don't believe so."

Faith smirked, "You stick with me kid, and I'll fix that. After all, you showed me something today; I'll have to return the favor."

Molly turned back to the window and noticed the girls scowling slightly at her and Faith, "What about the others? I think they might be upset with us."

Faith opened the door for Molly, and smiled across the cab at Xander, "Can I smoke in here?" Xander nodded, she pulled out her pack and lit up, "Molly, there's a difference between us and the Peanut Gallery, they're watchers, we, on the other hand, are doers." She hopped in the cab and closed the door behind her. She turned to Xander, who'd started the engine and was backing down the driveway as she buckled her seat belt, "So, Xand, you a bikini man?"

Xander smirked as he pulled out of Buffy's driveway, "I'm more trunks kind of a guy actually."

The dark-haired Slayer regarded her friend with a wicked gleam in her eye, "That's fine; I'm more a skinny dipping kind of girl." She took a drag on her cigarette and blew the smoke out of the window.

Molly raised her eyebrows in surprise, "Pardon me, but what exactly did I just agree to get involved in?"

Faith laughed, "Don't worry Molly, like I told Xander once, I'll steer you around the curves..."


The other girls had left not long after Xander's truck left the driveway. Anya and Dawn remained, the youngest Summers' daughter sighed angrily, "Damn. Not only is the show over, I didn't even get any Lemonade."

Anya grinned after a while, "I have an idea, tomorrow we'll break the shower. Xander will probably get all wet while he fixes it. Wet-Xander is almost as good as Sweaty-Xander."

Dawn brightened, "Anya, you might be a genius."

The Ex-Demon smiled, "It's a gift."