Xander's voice broke the silence, "Is the Council sure this will work?" Buffy, Giles and Xander looked down at the object sitting on the counter quietly. If Xander were to describe it, he'd have to say it looked like a black gauntlet, or a glove from the Darth Vader fall collection. It was a left handed glove, it looked like some sort of hide, maybe some sort of demon. If he put it on, he'd guess it would go half way up his forearm. It was rather ordinary looking.
Looks are extremely deceiving in this case. More than just, Mike Myers playing Fat Bastard deceiving, more like Eddie Murphy playing the old white Jewish guy in Coming to America deceiving. Xander sighed, he needed to read some more books so he could stop using movie analogies. According to the council this "Gauntlet of Ares" was what Ares, a demon who later was the basis for the Greek God of War, used to destroy Gozer, a Sumerian God, that Xander had actually heard of, only because he'd seen Ghostbusters fifteen thousand times.
Giles looked at the Gauntlet, "According to Mr. Travers, this Gauntlet, if, used properly will be able to either destroy Glory or at least banish her from this dimension."
Buffy nodded, "Okay, what do I do?"
Giles shrugged, "Quite simple actually, touch her."
Xander smirked, "Real simple. Except for the fact the woman hits like Mark McGwire after a Creatine overdose."
Buffy actually smiled at Xander's joke, "That sounds about right Xand. So I get close enough to touch, and 'poof' no more Glory."
Giles nodded, "In a word? Yes."
Buffy smiled, "Great, I better get some training in if I want to do this." She and Giles walked off towards the back room.
Their departure left Xander alone with the Gauntlet. He picked it up to inspect it more closely, it wasn't heavy, about the weight of a Hockey glove. He pulled it on, he was surprised when nothing happened. He looked at the mirror, he didn't look different, and he didn't feel different. He just had a big ass glove on his left hand. He walked over to the mirror, then looked around making sure no one was around. He turned to the mirror with a smirk, then spoke in his best James Earl Jones voice, and held up his gloved hand in a claw. "I find your lack of faith disturbing. This technological terror you've constructed is little match for the power of the Force." He looked over his shoulder and chuckled to himself.
He hazarded a glance at the back room. Despite how super duper the glove might be, it was a long shot that Buffy would be able to get her shot at Glory. He looked at the glove for a while. He shook his head and said to himself quietly, "No Xand... this is a stupid idea, what makes..."
His voice of reason did battle with his sense of chivalry, if he took down Glory, well Dawn and Buffy would both be safe, and if he didn't... well at least he'd go down swinging. It didn't take long for his chivalry to win the battle. He grabbed his coat and walked out of the shop into the night. He had to stop Glory before she hatched whatever evil scheme she was no doubt hard at work on.
"DREG!"
Dreg jumped to his feet and ran as fast as he could to Glory's chamber and found her sitting at her vanity, "Yes your Beauteousness?"
Glory looked at her minion angrily, "Where is my moisturizer?"
Dreg looked at her in fear and awe, "Your Divinity, I will run out to the nearest store to buy moisturizer for your magnificence." Dreg turned and ran.
Glory smiled and returned to her vanity, she picked up a bottle of body spray and misted herself. She heard the door come open, "Dreg, I'm impressed at how fast you were."
The voice she heard was vaguely familiar, "I'm not Dreg."
Glory still held the body spray as she turned to face the intruder, "Who are you?" She looked him over, he had long hair which was dark, and deep brown eyes. He was relatively attractive for a lowly piece of human scum.
The human shrugged, "No one of consequence."
Glory nodded and stood, "That's certainly true, but look on the bright side, in a few minutes you'll be a crazy person of no consequence." She approached him and raised her hands.
The human said, "Maybe..." He then reached out with a black gloved hand and grabbed her wrist, "Maybe not."
Glory suddenly felt an intense burning throughout her entire body. An inhuman scream pierced her hearing. After a moment she realized it was her voice. It felt as though her body was being torn apart molecule by molecule. Finally, the pain became too much and she crashed to the floor in a heap. Before she lost consciousness, she heard. "The name's Xander, and Buffy sends her regards."
Xander reentered the Magic Shop intending on replacing the glove and going home, what he found was Buffy and Giles glaring twin holes through his head. He looked behind him hoping they were looking at the big demon that... wasn't standing behind him. He entered the shop and Buffy held out her hand, palm up. Xander pulled the gauntlet out of his coat pocket and handed it to her. Buffy grabbed his ear and led him to a chair in the middle of the room, "Ow! Ow! OW!" She sat him down on the chair and hit him over the head with the gauntlet, "OW!!! That glove hurts!"
Buffy scowled at him, then punctuated every word she said with a slap on the chest with the gauntlet. "YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN KILLED!"
Xander cringed, "Okay... One, Ow! And B, can I explain myself?"
Giles snatched the gauntlet away from Buffy, then he looked at Xander angrily. "Explain."
Xander rubbed his head, then his chest. "Okay, I ah just... Well... I have no explanation. My stupidity knows no bounds, but on the plus side, I'm pretty sure that thing worked, cause Glory, went down and went down hard."
Giles pulled off his glasses angrily, "THAT'S NO... She did?"
Xander smirked and crossed his arms confidently, "Like a pile of bricks. Screaming, and being zapped by weird green electricity and she even had a nose bleed. I think she's out of commission at least for a while."
Giles nodded, "Hmm... Well, that, that doesn't excuse... Did she... um die... or was she... t-transported?"
Xander shook his head, "Not dead, but she was out cold, and looking pretty ragged."
Giles leaned against the counter, Buffy smacked Giles on the arm angrily, "GILES! We're supposed to be angry!"
Giles looked at her, "Ah yes... Well, Buffy I think the more important matter is that Xander may have saved us quite a bit of trouble and injury, by foregoing good judgment, and putting himself at unnecessary risk. We will keep the Gauntlet around in case he didn't entirely finish the job, but one thing is for certain, the Gauntlet does work against Glory."
Buffy sighed, "I guess... I guess you're right." She scowled at Xander, "But make no mistake, I'm still pissed Xander!" She turned and huffed out of the shop.
Xander called to her at the door, "Oh Buffy?" Buffy stopped and looked over her shoulder, "You're welcome." He suppressed a smirk when she growled and left the shop.
Glory groaned as she felt consciousness enter her body, "Oh my head..."
She heard Dreg's voice, "Your Astoundingness, you're awake."
Glory sat up slowly, with help, "How are you feeling Glory?"
"Ben?"
"Yeah."
Glory opened her eyes, her vision was blurry and her temples were pounding. "What did that lowly human do to me?"
Ben looked at Dreg, "Dreg?"
"Yes your worshipfulness?"
Ben pitched his head towards the door, "Leave."
Dreg nodded, and squirmed out of the room.
Ben turned to Glory, "Glory, I need to tell you something..."
Glory felt her heart start to race... wait, her heart was racing. Goddesses didn't have hearts to race, "Oh God, I'm..."
"...Human."
Glory jumped off the bed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Ben pulled his sister to him and held her in his arms, "It's going to be alright..."
Glory began to cry, "No! No, its not!" She sobbed, "I'm a lowly, disgusting, emotional human... I'll grow old and die... I'll get wrinkles and I'll have to dye my hair, this is truly Hell!"
Ben clenched his eyes shut in sympathy, "It's going to be alright, I'll take care of you for as long as you need, I promise you can shop 'til your beating human heart is content."
Glory eventually managed to stop her tears, "How did it happen?"
Ben shrugged, "I don't know, the only item I could think of that could do this would be the Gauntlet of Ares..."
Glory's eyes widened, "That human! He did this to me! He defeated me! HE defeated ME! A Goddess, he can't be just a normal human, I can't have been defeated by a mere walking ape!" She began to pace, "I have to know everything about him! So I can properly punish him for making me into a mortal! DREG!" Glory waited for Dreg to come back in the room, but nothing happened, "DREG!"
After an unusually long wait Dreg finally appeared, "I'm sorry Mistress... B-b-but I'm no longer in your services."
"WHAT!?!" Glory growled and did the first thing she could think of, she slapped Dreg and stormed out of her room. Ben and Dreg listened as the front door slammed shut.
Ben looked at Dreg, "That went well." Dreg nodded in his submissive manner, "Dreg, I want you and the toadies to take care of her until she's figured out this for herself. But under NO circumstances are you to help her hurt Xander, Buffy or their friends do you understand?"
Dreg nodded, "Of course your divinity, I shall endeavor to make Glorificus' every whim a reality for you." Ben nodded then followed Glory out of the apartment.
Glory stormed down the sidewalk for the magic shop, intent on finding this "Xander" and giving him a piece of her mind before she broke her formerly divine foot off in his ass. She stopped in front of the shop, she looked inside to see Xander and the watcher inside, she saw no sign of the Slayer, but the two men were sitting at a table playing a card game...
"... Is in my ear and in my eye, there beneath the blue suburban skies..." Xander looked up from his cards and stopped singing at the perplexed look on his friend's face. "What is it? Is there Twinkie filling on my chin again?"
Giles shook his head, "No, what were you just singing?"
Xander smirked, "Giles, won't they revoke your British citizenship if you don't recognize a Beatles song like Penny Lane?"
Giles chuckled, "I know the song, Magical Mystery Tour is one of my favorite albums, I was just surprised that you could sing or that you had musical taste."
Xander rolled his eyes, "Don't look at me, Tara's the Beatle-maniac, I like their songs too, but Tara's obsessive..." Xander smirked and laid his cards out, "Gin."
"Damn." Giles set his cards on the table and began to write down the score. "You are becoming quite the card player Xander," He smiled devilishly at his young friend, "I may have to stop going easy on you soon."
Xander shuffled the cards and laughed, "Talk is cheap G-man." The door opened and Xander and Giles looked to the door only to see an extremely pissed, divine blonde woman standing there. "Shit!"
Xander jumped out of the chair and Giles stood up, Glory stared daggers at Xander, "I'm going to kill you Xander!" She grabbed a fertility statue off the shelf and charged at Xander. Just as she was about to hit him she was picked up. This caused her to kick and scream angrily. "LET ME GO! LET ME GO! I'LL KILL HIM! I SWEAR! DAMMIT BEN LET ME GO!"
"Glory! Stop!" Ben struggled with his sister, finally gaining the upper hand, he put her down and stood between Glory and Xander. Glory tried to charge at Xander again only to be stopped again, Ben then snatched the statue from her and handed it to a confused Giles. "This isn't going to solve anything."
Glory was red faced with anger, "The Hell it won't! I'm human, this whelp... this boy... this MORTAL stripped me of my powers, and I intend to take his carcass home to hang on my wall!"
"Glory..."
"Don't 'Glory' me Ben!"
Xander and Giles watched the argument with shock, finally shock wore off Giles. "Excuse me?"
Glory scowled at the Englishman, "What is it, Ape?"
Giles straightened his shoulders, "I shall choose to ignore that, Ben did she say she was Human?"
Glory scowled at Giles before returning her death glare to Xander, "Yes, your little boy touched me with the Gauntlet of Ares, and now I'm as weak and pathetic as the rest of the miserable mortals on this planet." Her jaw clenched, "You believe this, whelp! I may not be a Goddess anymore, but I'm still capable and angry enough to kick your ass, and it's coming!" She spun on her heel and tore out of the shop.
Ben sighed and looked at the ceiling, he looked at Xander, "You did it?"
Xander's defensive posture tensed, "Yeah. I didn't want Glory to hurt Buffy or Dawn, much less plunge the World into Hell."
Ben smiled, "Relax Xander, who do you think clued the Council in on the existence of the Gauntlet in the first place?" Xander and Giles visibly relaxed, Ben smiled, "I'm impressed though, I figured Buffy'd have to do it. How did you get close enough to touch her?"
Xander shrugged, "She was going to do whatever it is she does that drives people crazy. I just reached out and grabbed her hand."
Ben nodded, "She's pretty pissed, but I was wondering Xander if you'd do me a favor?"
Xander looked at Ben blankly, who was he to turn down a god? But he was also cautious, he didn't want to promise to help Ben only to find helping Ben meant being nailed to Glory's wall. "As long as I don't get hurt in the process..."
Xander squirmed under Glory's glare, he had to be some sort of masochist to volunteer to help Glory adjust to being human. When Ben had brought Glory to his apartment to take her shopping, her first reaction was to slug him in the gut, driving him to a knee.
Now he was afraid she'd dive across the car to strangle him, sending them careening into a ditch. Finally, unable to put up with her glare he pulled into a Wendy's parking lot and turned off the car. He turned to Glory with an angry glare of his own. "Listen! I'm only going to say this once. I'm not a big fan of yours. I think you're a conceited, egotistical bitch, and you have the worst attitude ever and *believe me* I should know! I dated the Bitch Queen of Sunnydale and dealt with her first lieutenant. You don't like me? Tough Shit! The fact is, your brother, who I might add, is paying your bills seems to think I'm a good influence on you. So sit back, face forward and keep your mouth shut." He started the car and was about to pull out of the lot when Glory burst into tears.
Xander looked to the heavens and mouthed 'Why me?' He leaned across the barrier between them and pulled Glory into his arms, "Oh man... I'm sorry Glory. Don't cry please, Glory." Xander, like any human male was powerless against a woman's ultimate Doomsday weapon. Tears and Sobbing. The sight of a woman, even one who was a psycho former goddess crying left Xander helpless with only one option. Hugging and apologizing.
He heard Glory blubbering, "I just don't know how to handle all these feelings. Sometimes I hate you, and sometimes I feel like I should be thanking you and other times I think about killing you. Then I feel guilty for thinking that way. I just don't know how I'm supposed to feel..." She pulled away and Xander handed her a tissue. She cleaned herself up and looked at Xander for a long moment... before she slapped him across the face.
Xander's mouth tasted of copper and he held his jaw. He sighed and faced forward, "I should have known that was too easy." He pulled out of the lot.
Xander looked over the railing from their table at the food court. His arms felt like lead and his hands were raw. Glory seemed much happier now after three hours of shopping. She was wearing new thong sandals and a pink flowery sundress. She was filing her newly manicured nails and humming a little tune. Xander was just thankful she'd taken a sliver of pity on him and let him take her purchases out to the car.
Glory stood up and looked at him, "I'm ready to continue shopping."
Xander sighed, "Are you sure there's anything you didn't buy?"
Glory glowered at him. She started to walk off and Xander followed. She suddenly stopped, "Xander, I forgot my purse be a dear and grab it."
Xander rolled his eyes and walked back to the table, when he bent over to grab the handbag, he suddenly felt Glory grab two handfuls of his ass and try to push him over the railing. The only thing that saved him was tripping over her purse and falling to his knees. He sat up and stared at Glory incredulously, Glory just smiled in an embarrassed manner, "Oops."
He jumped to his feet, "I can't believe you just tried to kill me!" Glory just looked at him blankly, "That's it, our shopping day is over!" He grabbed Glory by the arm and yanked her towards the nearest exit.
Glory stumbled after him, "Would it help if I said I'm sorry? Or that your ass was nice?"
Xander sighed, "Then she tried to push me over the railing, I would have fell, and then SPLAT! Xander-shaped puddle on the Easter Bunny display."
Giles shook his head, "Maybe you should talk to Ben and end your agreement. Glory is clearly unstable..."
Xander nodded, "One problem with that... She's hot!"
Giles nodded, "True..." He coughed and flushed slightly, "I mean, that's beside the point. She is dangerous and wants to see you in harm's way."
"I had thought I had gotten through to her too, she started crying, and she was only a little mean while I was carrying her things... Man Giles, what is it with me and women, they all seem to want to kill me at one time or another?"
Giles shrugged, "Xander, speaking as a man your senior, at some time or another every woman wants to kill every man."
Xander smirked, "Giles was that a joke?"
Giles grinned, "Yes it was."
Xander jumped up and grabbed a book, "Where's the Codex, there has to be some apocalypse coming if Rupert 'G-Man' Giles can tell a joke."
"Pardon me Mr. Harris?"
Xander turned and found the demon Ben and Glory called Dreg, he was Glory's boot licker. "Yeah?"
Dreg bowed, "Her Majestic Beauteousness humbly requests your presence at her residence."
Xander smirked, "Dreg, Glory doesn't do anything humbly." Dreg only looked at him passively, Xander sighed, "Okay let's go, but if she kills me, I'm going to be pissed at you."
Xander followed Dreg into Glory's apartment, "Her Magnificence is waiting for you in her bed chamber. Now if you'll excuse me..." Dreg backed out of the apartment.
Xander shrugged and proceeded down the hall into Glory's room... where he was shoved violently against the door. He started to speak but Glory holding the knife to his throat gave him second thoughts.
Glory smiled at Xander sweetly, "Hi Xander. Ya ready to die?"
Xander laughed nervously, "Would it change your mind if I said I wasn't?"
Glory put a finger to her chin, "Hmmmm... You know something? It really wouldn't."
Xander smiled, "Are you sure? Cause, you know, dying would ruin my day and maybe your blouse too."
Glory stepped back, "Really? I hadn't thought about that. Maybe, I should change first?" She shrugged, "I don't want to ruin my blouse, but I really want to kill you. It's a dilemma, you know?"
Xander nodded, "Yeah." Xander started to step forward but the knife was back to his throat. Xander held up his hands, "Okay, I get the picture, no moving 'till you decide how to kill me."
Glory smiled, "Quick learner. I like that about you." She stepped forward and looked Xander in the eye, "Xander, I like you, you're alright for a human, and you did defeat me, that scores you points, but the problem is... Well, you made me mortal. Now, me personally, Glory the woman, I'd forgive you, but Glory the former Goddess is more than a little pissed. You see my problem right?"
Xander resisted the urge to nod, "Yeah, would it help if I said, I'm truly sorry?"
Glory smiled, "That's so sweet... But sorry." She pressed the knife to Xander's throat a little harder than before, "But hey, I'm a kind executioner, any 'reasonable' last requests?"
Xander stood there, "Well um... The only thing that comes to mind is not killing me, but hey that wouldn't be too reasonable."
Glory nodded, "Yeah, but hey, thanks for helping me shop." She sighed, "Bye Xander." She was about to push the knife into his flesh. Xander clenched his eyes shut, and Glory suddenly paused. She looked at him in confusion, she couldn't convince her hand to open his throat. She lowered the knife from his throat before casting it aside. She reached up with her now empty hand and smoothed Xander's hair. Xander's eyes fluttered open and Glory was mesmerized by the deep brown pools she saw, she yanked Xander's mouth to hers and kissed him passionately.
Xander tensed then pushed her away, "Hey Glory, not that I'm not really relieved I'm not dead, and really turned on. I have to ask, what are you doing?"
Glory smiled, "I'm rewarding you."
"For what?"
Glory gripped him by the shirt, "For conquering me, to the victor goes the spoils..." She yanked Xander to her again and kissed him harder. This time Xander responded, he picked her up and carried her towards the bed, and placed her gently on the mattress. Glory pulled back and tore his shirt open. Her eyes widened and a wide, feral smile crossed her lips. "All mine..."
Glory leaped out of bed, "EWWW! EWW! EWW! EWW!" She ran around her bedroom frantically, "I'm having sex dreams about a HUMAN! Eww! Eww!" She stopped, "He is cute though! STOP THAT! He's a talking ape, a talking ape! That's all humans are!" She sighed, "But his ass felt so good, it was downright yummy!" Glory sighed and fell back on the bed, "Oh crap..."
Glory paced her room, it had been almost two weeks since her dreams of torturing and maiming Xander had become dreams of sex, and those dreams ranged from hot and carnal, to sweet and romantic.
As if the dreams weren't enough, Glory had found when Xander was talking to her instead of trying to will his head to explode she found herself staring at his mouth and wondering what his lips on hers would feel like. She was having day-dreams now.
The worst part was, she was beginning to enjoy the fantasies and dreams, she no longer thought of killing Xander, she still wanted to tie him up, but it was in a far different context now.
She had Dreg stalk... researching the young man now. Dreg had gone to his apartment and went through his things, then he went to see his parents, today Dreg was out with a camera following Xander at work. She had learned quite a bit about Xander. His parents' drunken arguing, what he did with his other friends, where he worked, his fascination with comic books and lesbian pornography and Dreg even brought Glory some of his movies that he had seen Xander watching.
Glory was beginning to get a clear picture of Xander, and that only strengthened her resolve to have him as her consort. Which was why she stood in her walk-in closet deciding what to wear to implement her seduction with when she heard Dreg knocking on her bedroom door. "Come in Dreg!"
After a moment she heard Dreg, "Your Astoundingness?"
Glory sighed, "Yes Dreg?"
"Mr. Harris returned to his apartment a half hour ago, I thought I'd return and report." Glory turned and folded her arms expectantly, "I took several pictures of Mr. Harris just out of his shower as per your request, and I also got several shots of him working without his shirt today..."
Glory's eyes widened and her mouth nearly watered, "He was working without his shirt? Was he all... you know? Sweaty?"
Dreg nodded, "Yes Mistress."
Glory smiled, "Was he yummy looking Dreg?"
Dreg looked around uncomfortably, "I'm not sure Mistress, with the exception of yourself, I find all humans equally repulsive, but he looked attractive for a human."
Glory nodded, "Well did he meet with those trampy women, the Slayer and those witches? Did he see them today? Cause I'm beginning to find whole new reasons to despise those three..."
Dreg shook his head, "No Mistress, he had lunch with co-workers then he went to a comic book shop where he looked at copies of 'X-Men' and 'Batman' then he went home and watched the Batman: Beyond cartoon he taped while he was at work. Afterwards, he watched the Music Television channel then he took another shower and put on some old clothes and it looked like he was cleaning when I left."
Glory smiled, "Good, once Xander's my Consort, he'll have no real need to associate with those three sluts because he'll have me. Now Dreg I've been trying to figure out a pretense to get Xander here, and I think I have one."
Dreg nodded, "What is it your Exquisiteness?"
Glory smiled, "Do you think you can survive a fall through the bedroom window?"
Dreg's eyes widened and he gulped audibly...
Xander jerked awake when the phone rang, he groped bleary eyed from his place on the couch, and he suddenly realized that the living room was upside down. He then thought that something crazy happened only to find that his feet were dangling over the back of the couch and his head hanging over the edge of the seat. He looked around and found the phone, picking up he mumbled out, "Hello?"
<Xander?>
Xander rolled off the couch and pulled himself into a sitting position, He stifled a yawn and said, "Glory?"
<Did I catch you sleeping?>
Xander shrugged, "I was taking a nap, what's going on Glory, did you call me to berate me over the phone?"
Xander was surprised when Glory laughed, <You're so funny Xander. Listen, um are you good at repairing windows?>
Xander stood up, "Yeah? Why?"
Glory stammered, <Well Dreg was rehanging my drapes and he fell through the window...>
"Oh my God, is he okay?"
<I guess, he jumped right back up and acted like nothing was wrong. Could you come over and fix it?>
Xander looked at his watch, "Yeah... I'll be over in a bit."
Xander knocked on Glory's door and sighed. It was after ten and he was tired. The door opened and Glory smiled at him. Xander was suddenly cautious and paranoid. He was on the alert for any sort of trap. Glory let him in and he walked rapidly towards the bedroom, not stopping to give her the chance to attack him. He found the window, it was almost completely broken out. He called to Glory over his shoulder, "I'm going to put a layer of plastic over it tonight, I've got the day off tomorrow so I'll replace it then, if I can find a pane that is." He unrolled the plastic he brought then took some measurements.
As he turned to return to the plastic he glanced towards the bed and his jaw dropped at what his eyes saw. Glory was reclined in a seductive manner. She was wearing a very short black night gown which barely went half-way down her thigh. She smiled at him, "Hi Xander..." Xander's jaw moved but no sound was uttered.
Glory smiled wickedly and rolled onto her stomach, she propped her chin up on her palms using her upper arms to press her breasts together creating a tempting amount of cleavage. Xander's eyes locked on her tongue as it trailed across her lip, Glory then said in a husky whisper, "Like what you see?" She pushed off the bed and stood up, "I can show you the rest..." She pushed the flimsy strap of her gown off her shoulder and more creamy flesh was coming into view...
Xander couldn't seem to put thoughts together, he took a step back and stumbled over his tool box, blackness claimed him when his head struck the dresser. The last thing he heard was Glory worriedly calling his name.
Dreg ran into Glory's bed chamber when he heard her cry out in terror, he found his mistress kneeling over the human. She looked up at him, worry marring her perfect features. "I think he might be dead..."
Dreg looked the human over, suppressing his nausea, they were such ugly creatures. His chest was still rising and falling with breath and he couldn't smell any blood. "Did he hit his head?"
Glory was near tears, "Yes..." Xander groaned and Glory's face exploded into an ecstatic smile.
Dreg smiled, "You see Mistress, he's alright. He should probably get some rest."
Glory wiped her eyes, "Oh... Well in that case, turn down the covers. He can sleep in here with me."
Dreg nodded then turned down the covers, he then picked the human's unconscious body up off the floor and placed him on Glory's bed. Glory pointed to Xander's shoes, which Dreg removed followed by his socks. Glory then told him to leave. But before he left he heard his mistress say, "Now for that shirt, those pants, and maybe your underwear, don't want you to get uncomfortable..."
Dreg shivered at the mental picture of a naked human. They truly were disgusting creatures, except for Glory, that is.
Xander woke with his face buried in his pillow, he sighed and closed his eyes before rolling onto his back. He ran a hand through his hair, hissing in pain when he touched the bump on the back of his head. "Ow!"
"Oh, poor baby, how's your head Xander?" Xander's eyes snapped open at the voice and gentle touch to his temples. Glory smiled down at him, "Did you know, that you make the *cutest* human noises when you sleep?"
Xander sat up slowly, considering the splitting headache, "Human noises?" He sighed at the pressure on his temples, "Glory you don't still have that brain sucky, dealie do you?"
Glory merely laughed lightly, "Relax Xander, yes, human noises. Your stomach grumbling, smacking your lips, sighing, and the way you snore... Oh, it's absolutely adorable!"
"I snore?"
"Yep, hey, by the way, who's Dido?"
Xander was lost in confusion and the sheer bliss of Glory's fingers massaging his temples, "Dido?"
"Yeah, who is she, and what were we doing to her with the whipped cream?" Xander felt all his blood go to his face, "Ooooh! Was it a sex dream? Cause I've never had a sex dream involving whipped cream, but I did have a dream where I poured Champagne all over you and I licked it..."
Xander whipped around and covered Glory's mouth, "OW!" He covered his eyes at the stabbing pain.
Glory looked at Xander with a hurt expression, "You didn't want to hear about my sex dreams?"
Xander shook his head gingerly, "It's not that Glory, but the idea of you licking me... it's well, it's..."
Glory started to cry, "You don't find me attractive, and the thought of my tongue on you makes you repulsed doesn't it?"
"NO! To be honest, I was pretty sure that you're way out of my league, have you looked in the mirror recently? You have the kind of looks that turns supermodels green, and I'm not that great looking... Then there's this whole, you just turning human thing, it wouldn't be fair of me to take advantage of you..."
Glory smiled and caressed his cheek, "Xander, you are such a sweetie. It is true that I'm pretty much the pinnacle of beauty, but you are my equal. We owe it to the world to propagate, just on the sheer beauty of our offspring..."
Xander's face went white, "O-o-o-ff... offspppp... Children?"
Glory smiled, "Yes eventually, I've been reading about my human biology, and this thing... well actually Jynx has been reading, but he gives me the highlights, and it's all very interesting... Did you know I have a biological clock that tells me when I'm ready to start having children, and that some of the more obnoxious members of your gender actually fear it? But the most important reason is a very old rule... To the victor go the spoils, you conquered me. You bested me, and that means, of all the humans on this planet, you... are the only one who deserves me." Xander's response was to blush bright red. Glory's eyes lit, "Did I cause you to do that?"
Xander nodded, "That stuff is pretty flattering Glory. I still think it's inappropriate for us to be in a relationship, when you're still getting the hang of being human, I mean it hasn't even been a month, you still have a lot of stuff to learn..."
Glory nodded, "Yeah, like menstruating."
"WHAT?!"
Glory shrugged, "From what Jynx has read, it sounds awful, I get bloaty and irritable and he says that I even bleed..."
Xander leapt out of the bed despite his throbbing temples, "OKAY! You wanting to kill me a few weeks ago, I could handle. You suddenly developing a crush on me, shocking but not beyond the realm of possibility. Telling me about your fantasy to lick me, will be a staring part of my dreams for weeks, I can deal with it. Even talking about our potential children I can take. But telling me about your... womanly... issues... it's outside of the realm of good taste. In the future, let's remember to keep that out of the pillow talk, okay?"
Glory smiled, "You mean we'll be sharing a bed more often?"
"What?" Glory was a trip and a half, and the bedroom was pretty drafty... Xander looked down, especially drafty considering... "WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?" He yanked the blanket off the bed and wrapped it around his waist. Which was a mistake, considering Xander wasn't the only naked person in the room. Xander's jaw dropped, "Flehhhh..." Xander clenched his eyes shut and spun around.
He felt his heart try to slam through his chest when he felt Glory wrap her arms intimately around his waist. "Relax Xander, we didn't do anything. I just wanted to make sure you slept comfortably."
Xander forced air into his lungs and croaked out, "And you slept naked because?"
Glory's musical laugh tickled his ear, "Silly, I always sleep in the nude." Xander felt light headed, and he was sweating. "Get dressed, the Toadies and I are going back to your apartment to take care of you while you recover from your fall."
Xander shook his head, "Really Glory I'm okay, I'll be fine. This is..."
"...Really nice Dreg." Xander groaned as the demon found knots in muscles that Xander wasn't even aware of. He was laying face down on a massage table. While Jynx was vacuuming and several of the demons alphabetized and rearranged his magazines, video and comic books.
While the one Glory called Murk followed her around with a pad and pen while she was going through some catalog of furniture. "...And we're going to put the couch on page 127 here."
Murk took note and nodded subserviently, "Excellent choice your Graciousness."
She looked at the space Xander's couch currently occupied. "Hmm, what do you think Murk, the royal blue or the powder blue?"
Murk merely shook his head, "Your Astoundingness, I would never dare presume..."
Glory rolled her eyes and sighed, "Save the boot-licking. Xander, sweetie?"
Xander was too far gone to register properly the term of affection, or stop his own, "Yeah puddin'?"
Glory suppressed a giggle, "Which do you prefer? Powder blue or Royal blue?"
Xander sighed as Dreg began to work on his right foot, "Royal blue."
Glory smiled, "Me too, we will make such a great couple."
Xander smiled as he drifted, "Um-hmm..."
Glory returned her attention to the catalog, "Now, we need chairs to go with the couch..."
Giles knocked on Xander's door with a sigh. Xander was supposed to come over to the shop and help him build a new shelf unit on the upper level, but Xander had yet to arrive. He heard a muffled reply and the door opened, greeting him with a sight that was absolutely amazing. The apartment was filled with Glory's minions cleaning his apartment, while Xander sat in a chair as one of Glory's minions was applying shaving cream to his face. "Xander? What the devil is happening here?"
Xander smiled, "Hey Giles. You want a shave? A Haircut? Massage? Dreg here is a one demon therapy and grooming machine."
Dreg smiled, "Master Harris, you flatter me."
Giles ran a hand through his hair, "Well I suppose I could use a trim, and it's been a while since I had an old-fashioned barber's shave..."
Xander nodded, "Pull up a chair G-man. We'll have you out two bits in no time."
Giles smiled, pulled off his jacket then sat down. Dreg finished applying the shaving cream to Xander and began to sharpen the straight blade, Giles looked around the room. "Xander, where is Glory?"
It was at that moment that Glory breezed in followed by two of her toadies holding a rather large package wrapped in a white sheet. She pointed to the far wall and smiled at Xander, "Sweetie, I have a surprise for you." She pointed to the toadies and they removed the sheet, revealing a painting. A portrait actually, a larger than life likeness of Glory and Xander. Glory was dressed in a regal royal blue gown, and Xander was dressed in a black tuxedo. He was embracing Glory from behind. Glory turned towards Xander with a smile, "What do you think?"
Xander and Giles traded dumbfounded expressions, Xander turned back to Glory, "Wow, Glory, this is incredible! Who painted it?"
Glory smiled triumphantly, "I did!"
Xander's eyes widened, "NO WAY!"
Giles stood up and crossed the room, inspecting the painting, "Really? You painted this, the detail, the brushwork, it's fabulous. It's not just lifelike, it's alive. When did you learn to paint so amazingly?"
"And quickly, that took me a week." Glory amended.
Giles looked at the Goddess turned woman in awe. "Incredible."
Glory smiled, "Thank you, I was inspired..." She turned to Xander and gave him a leer that turned Xander a multitude of different shades of red. "When I'm inspired, I do my best work."
Giles nodded, "Where did you learn?"
Glory smiled and walked towards Xander, "It was something I remember from sharing space with Ben."
Giles' brow furrowed, "Sharing space?"
Glory shrugged as she inspected the haircut Dreg had given Xander. Finally she nodded in an approving manner, "Yes, we shared a body, it was the only way to keep us in this realm. When Xander used the Gauntlet, it tore me out of that body, but Ben saved me as best he could. He gave me a human body. He was always the forgiving and gracious one." Glory turned back to Xander with a smile, "But I'm working on graciousness. Do you really like it Xander?"
"It's great."
Glory smiled, "Good, cause it's my gift to you to officially begin courting you."
Giles' eyebrows ran up his forehead while Xander's jaw hit the floor. Giles looked between the painting and Glory, who was looking at Xander expectantly, "Excuse me, did you say that you are courting Xander?"
Glory smiled. "Yes, see last night Xander was frightened by my admittedly forward attempt to seduce him. So I thought I'd go the old fashion route, I had planned to hang the portrait in our home after we were married, but now it is my expression of commitment to making Xander my husband."
Xander laughed uncomfortably, he then stood up and crossed the room to Glory "Glory, I thought I made it clear that you weren't ready to enter a romantic relationship and I didn't want to take advantage of you?"
Glory released a frustrated huff, "Argh! You are making our love into such a hassle! Enjoy the toadies' services today, I'm going HOME!" She stormed out of the apartment and slammed the door.
Giles and Xander watched the closed door in confusion. Murk walked up to them, "Her Exquisite Appealingness is most frustrated with you Master Harris."
Xander turned to the demon with a scowl, "Shouldn't you be balancing my checkbook?"
Murk bowed his head, "My sincerest apologies." He then scurried away.
"Ooooh! He's so frustratingly chivalrous! It's driving me crazy! I can't decide whether his rejection is hurtful or endearing."
Glory's friend watched her pace with a smile, "It sounds to me like he's doing all he can to make sure you're not hurt by him."
Glory smiled, "Isn't that adorable though? He has this misguided notion of my best interests in mind."
Glory's friend smiled, "It's one of the things about them I've always found charming."
Glory sat down, "You know, when you first said you were posing as a human I thought you were nuts. They're so weak and all that. But I've been one now for a while, and I've been watching them, and for the most part they do still seem pretty weak. But Xander, he stood up to me while I was still a Goddess, and then he stood up to me not long after I was stripped of my power, and it's so amazing. I mean he's so strong, and he's smart, and he says all these things that make me get all these feelings. I mean at first I just wanted to have sex with him. Lots of sex... Can I ask, what's it like?"
Her companion smiled, "It's very good."
Glory smiled wistfully, "I can't wait. I slept with him last night, and he was naked, and his flesh was so warm, and it pulses. I mean I knew that their hearts beat, but when I laid my head against his chest and felt it pulse against my cheek, it was amazing. That's when I wanted more than sex. I was watching him sleep, and suddenly, I saw all these blonde headed children who looked like us and it made me smile. Maybe I am going too fast?"
"I think you need to slow down Glory. I've learned quite a bit about humans. They can be easily frightened. You need to take your time, give him some sense of control. Not that he controls you, but that he's not being steamrolled by you. Then, learn about him, maybe even play into his interests. His fantasies. It shows you care about him and what he thinks."
Glory nodded, "Well, he does have a crush on that girl on the Mtv, Britney. Maybe I could dress up like her. WAIT! I could dress up like a cheerleader, human males like cheerleaders, right?"
"Yes, but stick to the first idea. I don't think the cheerleader look would work for you."
Glory raised one of her perfectly sculpted eyebrows, "Really? I think I'd be very appealing dressed like a cheerleader."
"That's true, but still, let's stick with the Britney Spears look for now. Or perhaps you might go a different route?"
Glory raised an eyebrow, "What 's that?"
"Why not try using your knowledge of him, to do something other people wouldn't think of. Something thoughtful, something with sentimental value for him."
Glory nodded. "That's even better! Thanks for your help. So are you still pretending to be a human actress?"
"Yes."
"How's it working?"
She smiled, "Very well. Even after all this time, most human males still consider me a sex symbol."
Glory nodded, "And they still don't think you're more than just a human."
"Not a clue."
Glory smiled. "What name did you pick?"
"Raquel. Raquel Welch."
Glory stood up and made her way to the door. "Maybe I'll ask Xander about you sometime."
Raquel smiled, "Have fun Glory, and remember, take your time."
Xander was awakened by a knock at his door. He staggered out of bed and pulled a T-shirt on. Tumbling to the door he yanked it open to come face to... chest hair? Xander stepped back and looked up to find a man on the tall side of six foot six with blonde hair in a pony tail, he had a grey jumpsuit with a name patch reading the ever ironic nickname "Tiny." He looked down at Xander and then his clipboard, "You 'A Harris?'" Xander nodded. "We've got some furniture for you."
Xander looked at Tiny blankly, "What?"
Glory's voice came from behind the hulking mover, "Oh good you're here early, I'll show you where to put Xander's things." She came around Tiny and breezed into the room. The delivery men turned and walked down the hall towards their van.
Xander turned towards Glory with a perplexed look on his face, "What's going on?"
Glory smiled, "I bought you new furniture Xander, and this..." She reached into the small handbag on her shoulder and produced a pocket watch. "Tomorrow's your birthday, and Dreg noticed that you have a collection of clocks and watches, so I thought this would be a nice present. Also I'd like to cook you dinner tonight, well actually Dreg will be doing most of the cooking since I can't, but the cliché is that the thought counts. Right?"
Xander looked at Glory warily, "Glory..."
Glory shook her head, "No romantic intentions, I promise. It's just that... well... you're the only person I know who doesn't treat me like I'm fragile or kisses my butt all the time, so I like spending time with you."
Xander felt his cheeks burn and he couldn't help but inspect his feet, "I don't know what to say Glory. I like spending time with you too, despite the fact you've tried to kill me repeatedly, but you aren't the first friend I've had to do that... and if I weren't afraid of hurting you... Well, let's just say, I'm not as blind or stupid as you might be thinking I am."
Glory gave Xander a high wattage smile and tried to crush him in a hug. After a moment, he returned the hug and smiled when he felt Glory nestle herself in his arms. Glory only broke the embrace when the movers returned with the couch. The former goddess then set to telling the large men where to put Xander's new furniture. Xander shook his head and sighed then set to getting ready for work.
Xander stopped at his front door when he heard the stereo playing. After a moment he recognized it as the band Travis, and one of his new favorite songs, "Sing." He pushed his door open and found Murk and Dreg in the kitchen flittering around preparing dinner. Murk turned to Xander and nodded in his toady fashion, "Master Harris, let me do the service of taking your things." He took Xander's lunchbox and hardhat. Murk then bowed again and said, "Her stellar magnificence is in the restroom and will be with you shortly. She has graciously laid out your attire and humbly requests you do her the honor of wearing them."
Xander raised an eyebrow, "Okay?" He crossed the living room and entered his bedroom. He looked to the bed and found the outfit Glory had... must have bought for him, because he knew for a fact he didn't own, a silk shirt, tailored pants or high polished fine leather shoes. He picked up the boxers she'd laid out, he sure as hell didn't own silk boxers. He maneuvered the fine fabric between his thumb and forefinger and nodded, if it felt good against his fingers, he was wondering if it was happy-inducing when worn. He smirked as he began to pull off his shirt, if Glory was going to this kind of trouble, who was a mere mortal to turn down a figurative Goddess, if not a literal one anymore?
As Xander exited his bedroom, he noticed that the room was lit far more romantically by what Xander felt, without counting was more than a hundred candles. With a grin Xander thought aloud, "So much for 'no romantic intentions' I see." He looked down and noticed that the candles formed a path towards the dining room table. He looked up and was dumbfounded by the sight before him, he felt his jaw go slack at Glory. He was absolutely sure at that moment, that every bootlicking description the toadies used to refer to Glory, was dead on the money.
She stood in front of the table, wearing a blue gown which was obviously meant to match his blue silk shirt, the gown accentuated her already astounding figure. The dress stopped just below her knee, but was slit to about halfway up her thigh. Her hair was swept up which showed off her elegant neck and she wore a simple gold chain with what appeared to be a diamond. Under his appreciative gaze, Glory smiled one of her higher wattage smiles and Xander was amazed that her already perfect appearance only improved by a smile that poets wrote about.
Xander felt his mouth moving soundlessly for a while before he finally managed to say, "You look incredible Glory."
Xander was surprised when Glory turned slightly pink and she smiled in a bashful fashion. "Thank you. Are you ready to eat?"
Xander nodded then walked over to the table and pulled a chair out for Glory, he then took the seat opposite from her. Dreg and Murk brought out two plates and returned to the kitchen. Xander looked down at the meal they had prepared then picked up his fork and took a bite of the pasta dish and was pleasantly surprised by how good it was. "This is really good!"
Glory nodded, "Yes, Dreg and Murk are very good cooks."
Xander got a sinking feeling as the awkward silence set in. They were dressed up, eating in silence, unsure what to talk about and Xander's palms were sweating so much he wondered how he held on to the fork. Only one conclusion could be drawn, this was, despite his objections, a date. An honest to God, first date. The creature no Slayer could save you from. Sweaty palms, nervous chit-chat and uncomfortable silence.
Xander tried to summon up those objections he had to he and Glory being in a relationship, but the longer the dinner progressed and the more he looked over at Glory who was passing him looks between bites of her dinner, the less convincing and down right laughable those objections became.
Xander sat his fork down and wiped the corners of his mouth. He then leaned across the table, "Glory?"
Glory looked up in surprise, she took a drink from her glass and said, "Yes?"
Xander suddenly felt his palms sweating profusely, he was now going to cross a line he had never thought he would. "Do you think you could ask them to leave?" Xander smiled inwardly, thankful that he didn't stutter.
Glory looked at Murk and Dreg in confusion then turned back to Xander, "Why... Oh!" Glory reddened slightly then nodded, she reached across the table and Xander noticed her hand was trembling as she clasped his. She then turned and said, "Boys. Get out."
Murk and Dreg nodded, "Of course Mistress." They made a hasty exit.
Xander stood away from the table and pulled Glory up with him. Glory's hand remained clasped around his. Xander reached up with his free hand and gently touched Glory's cheek. He could feel her almost shaking, Xander's whisper echoed through the apartment. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to."
Glory nodded, "I know you wouldn't force me." She smiled, "I mean I've tried everything short of forcing you to make love to me at gun point... I trust you."
Xander laughed lightly, "How did you do it?"
Glory raised an eyebrow at him, "Do what?"
Xander caressed her cheek, smiling when she turned her head enough to kiss the palm of his hand, "How did you convince me to fall in love with you without me knowing?"
Glory smiled, "I think you just have a thing for women who threaten you."
Xander laughed, "You know me too well." He then leaned down and gently covered her lips with his. He felt Glory's arms wrap around him and she returned his gentle kiss with an inexperienced one. As her nerves faded and Glory became comfortable kissing Xander, Glory pulled him tighter and parted her lips in an inviting manner.
When his tongue touched her, it felt like an electric shock. She could hear her heart thundering in her ears, she realized that the last time that happened was just before she realized she was human. This time however, she enjoyed the feeling.
They began to kiss with more passion and Glory squealed with surprise as she felt Xander slip a hand behind her knee and suddenly she was off the ground and firmly encased in Xander's arms.
Before she knew what had happened she and Xander were sitting on his bed. She finally pulled away from him. She reached out and gently plucked at the buttons on his shirt. She smiled when she felt Xander's lips travel along the column of her throat down to her shoulder. Her fingers tangled in his hair as he pushed the strap of her dress away exposing more of her shoulder. Glory smiled, her mind was traveling in a thousand different directions, and for a moment she was sure that this was the way a Goddess was meant to be worshiped. She inhaled the scent of his hair deeply and sighed, "I love you..."
Xander pulled back and kissed her lips again, he then pulled away and smiled wickedly, "What's not to love?"
Glory narrowed her eyes at him before she smiled herself, "And they said I had a big ego?" She pushed Xander onto his back then stood off the bed. She reached behind her and unzipped the dress before letting it fall to the floor. Xander looked at Glory in stunned silence, then he looked at the discarded dress as it left her in only her panties and shoes, which she stepped out of as she got back on the bed with Xander.
Glory laid down on top of him, surprised by the feeling of Xander's now erect member pressed against her hip. She tried to control her breathing while she kissed him deeply. She felt the heat of the exposed flesh of his chest almost scorching her. She parted her lips and pushed her tongue past his lips and ground her hip against him. She felt Xander shuddered and her skin flushed with pride.
Now knowing the effect she had on Xander, she began to grind her hips. She felt Xander grab her hips and he moved her so that his erection was pressed against her sex, and this time when Glory ground her hips she felt a shock go through her entire body and air left her lungs. She broke their kiss and growled out, "Oh Xaaaannnder!"
With a growl of his own, Xander rolled them over and he desperately tried to free himself of his shirt. Finally, Glory assisted him, pulling the shirt off and tossing it away. They continued kissing while Xander fumbled with the button on his slacks. The button eventually came free quickly followed by the release of his zipper and Xander pushed his pants down as much as he could without breaking contact. He was about to try to kick them off, when Glory rolled them over and broke their kiss.
She kissed his flesh as she descended down his chest. She then gently removed Xander's pants and kissed a path back up his chest as she laid down between his thighs. Glory stopped and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "You know this is my first time, right?"
Xander nodded, "Yeah."
Glory smiled, "I'm ready."
"Are you sure?" Glory nodded then took Xander's hands and tucked his thumbs in her panties. She leaned down and captured his lips, as then guided the garment over her hips and off, they joined his pants and were followed quickly by his boxers on the floor.
Glory then repositioned herself so that she was straddling him. Glory gently gripped him in her soft hand and stroked him uncertainly, "Like this?"
Xander's breath hitched in his chest and he bit his lip, "Ye-ah! That... that's good." He covered her hand and led the head to her entrance. He rubbed the head over her slit, eliciting a moan from Glory, "Ready?"
Glory moaned again and nodded. Xander gently pried her folds open and pushed into her slowly. Glory moaned in a mixture of pain and pleasure and bit hard on her bottom lip as she felt the most intimate of human contact for the first time.
They were motionless for a while, before Xander broke the silence. "You okay?"
Glory opened her eyes and nodded. She began to rock her hips slowly becoming accustomed to the feel of him. She leaned forward and kissed him, she felt Xander matched her slow rhythm with his own thrusts. Glory began to move faster and harder and Xander continued to match her.
Glory broke their kiss and gasped out in surprise when Xander gripped her hips and rolled them over and he began to push deeper into her. He then reached between them and found her engorged clit and he rolled it gently between his fingers.
The response was immediate, Glory arched up against him and a cry came up from deep inside. Glory went wild beneath him as he stimulated her doubly. Xander felt her inner muscles tightening down on him, trying to hold him inside her. Xander pushed on, he could feel Glory's legs hooking around his waist and she dug her heels into the back of his legs trying to pull him as deep into her as possible. Xander bent down and sucked on her pulse point, enjoying the salty taste of her flesh and the smell of sex that was beginning to fill his nostrils.
It was all becoming too much for Glory, and finally she felt her inner walls clamp down and endorphins rushed through her system and she cried out Xander's name through the high of her orgasm. She felt Xander continuing to thrust into her until he growled into the side of her throat. Then his thrusts slowed and the room was silent except for the sounds of ragged breathing.
Glory's eyes had fallen closed, and when she opened them she smiled up at Xander was hovering over her. She felt his brush her moistened hair away from her hair. "How do you feel?"
Glory gave him her best imitation of his lop-sided grin and said. "Human mostly."
Xander shrugged then rolled them over and Glory nestled herself into his chest, "Is that such a bad thing?"
Glory placed a kiss over his heart, she lingered for a moment, feeling his skin pulsing beneath her lips. She pulled away and smiled, "It has moments that are enjoyable." Xander smirked, "Like Shopping... Oh and painting..."
Xander shook his head, "How low on your list do I rank?"
Glory smirked down at him, "Who said you did?" Glory yelped as Xander pinched her on the backside. She giggled and kissed his forehead, "I love you."
Xander squeezed her tightly before he pulled the blanket up from the foot of the bed. "I love you too Glory." They remained silent for a while, "Now about that painting..."
Buffy followed Willow and Tara down the hall looking at the package in her hand. "I'm not so sure about this Wills. I mean, I've never even heard of Weezer. I mean, Weezer? It doesn't even sound like a real band..." She flipped it over, "and these song names, 'Say it ain't so?' 'Only in Dreams?' 'The Sweater song?' C'mon! Are you sure Xander will like it?"
Tara scowled at the slayer, "You've never heard of Weezer?"
The Slayer returned Tara's scowl and said in a sarcastic tone. "Noooo!" She picked up the other half of their gift, a CD by Weezer, which was mostly a neon-like green, "Besides this guy with the glasses looks like Buddy Holly or something."
Tara and Willow sniggered before Willow said, "I guess that makes Buffy, Mary Tyler Moore." After Buffy gave them an annoyed look, Willow said to Tara. "See Tara, Cordelia would have gotten the reference, but she had musical taste." She turned to Buffy, "Trust me Buffy, Weezer is one of Xander's favorite bands."
"But it's not even a CD it's a record..."
Willow nodded, they stopped at Xander's door and knocked. "Yeah and that makes it rare, and it's signed by the band! Buffy, it's the Blue album! The BLUE ALBUM, in vinyl and signed by WEEZER!"
Buffy sighed in annoyance, "You keep saying 'The BLUE ALBUM' like that means something... What's the BIG DEAL?" This time both Willow and Tara scowled at the Slayer. "What?"
Willow sighed, "'The BIG DEAL' is, it's probably the best birthday present anyone could think of to give him." After a moment, the door opened revealing a disheveled looking, bleary-eyed Glory. She stood in the doorway wearing one of Xander's sweaters which was going halfway down her naked thigh. Willow, Buffy and Tara all looked at the former Goddess in shock, Willow finally said, "Except for that."