Listening to the radio

Theme tunes

Author: Norgco <norgco[at]>

Rating: NC-17? Pg?

Couples: That would be telling, but f/f/f

Summary: Buffy considers her options, Xander gets Warren out of season 6, Buffy’s ‘Problem’ is handled. Disclaimer: I do not own any of them.

Feedback: I know Xanderzone will probably hate it, but what about the rest of you?

Buffys' bathroom at the dorm, Tuesday morning.

"Buffy Summers eats pussy." The blonde said into the mirror. Not that she had actually done the deed yet, but she was trying to think ahead about sex, who she had it with, and the consequences, rather than just go on instinct. After all, instinct had caused her to fuck Angel's soul out of him, then spread her legs for Parker – she could think of no more diplomatic term for it, that's all it was to him – and then do Riley every possible way despite never once feeling more than a pleasant friendliness to him.

Cathy had been a fun date, but she had a sticker on her car saying 'I refuse to be your Lesbian experience' and she meant it. Since that was the point of dating her from the elder Summer's girl's perspective that had effectively killed that. Buffy was specifically trying to find out if she liked girls 'that way', and her fellow student's refusal to be a piece of experimental equipment annoyed her severely. This, of course, is the sort of thinking that led to Buffy Summers picture being in the dictionary next to the word 'egocentric.'

Xander's favourite café, lunch Wednesday

"And for desert we have many choices, but I recommend Orange Soufflé ala Davide." The waiter was saying to a customer and his girlfriend in the background. The business Scooby was having a meeting, and there was another scheduled in an hour. He felt like someone out of one of the better-researched Mafia movies, they always seemed to hold meetings in places like this. Why didn't anyone want to meet him in his office?

"So, Warren, you want me to fund your robotic research?"

"Yes, I mean I'm already ahead of the Pentagon's known work, which means I'm ahead of anyone trying to sell on the open market."

In a different reality Warren Mears created a robotic girlfriend and went on to try to take over Sunnydale with two companions. But Anya was Jonathan Levinson's girlfriend, and she was keeping him busy running 'Sin Sity Swingers.' Given her twin interests in sex and business holding orgies for money had seemed the obvious move, and, well, Jonathan was a perpetually tired but wealthy and satisfied man.

"Why come to me about it?" He was in business, true, but a bank would be the more obvious place for a business loan.

"You're the only person I know with a legitimate connection to the vampire hunting end of the military."

Xander's coffee went down the wrong way and he was coughing it up for a while.

"I'm KNOWN for that?" The Initiative, after all, was working under tight security. It was a sub-unit of the Special Operations section of the Department of Homeland Security, at least these days it was. Not many people in the Spec Ops community knew its actual function, which had led to all sorts of problems, like them getting the Tank Platoon as reinforcements in Nevada, for example.

"Was it supposed to be a secret?" The man who would now never murder Tara MacLay said in a tone of genuine puzzlement. "I have connections to the magical and demon communities. The Shootout at the Never Sweat Copper Mine is already up there with the OK Corral you know."

"I'm famous among the demons and witches?" He didn't think to ask exactly how come Wild West analogies came into it. Was it the demons or just Warren, he didn't seem the Clint Eastwood film festival type? The idea of demonic John Wayne Fan Clubs ran through his head briefly.

"Yeah you and Faith have this whole Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday thing going anyway." The roboticist was wondering how he had managed to get into this, he just wanted some investment money and connections to buyers and Harris had seemed the obvious way to get both. "Dangerous to cross, willing to do anything necessary to get the job done, not totally law abiding, and Holliday was doomed to an early death and determined to not go quietly just like Faith."

Given that all Xander knew about OK Corral was from one of the Original Star Trek series more surreal episodes he was having trouble with the idea. Holliday and the Earps had been treated as dangerous killers incapable of being reasoned with; relentlessly hunting down the Clanton's as reluctantly played by Kirk and the usual suspects. Did he really give that impression?

"Look, can you get me the money and a chance to demonstrate my robot or not, I didn't come here to boost your ego?"

Given that the heavy emphasis on new technology research and testing these days the Initiative guys would almost certainly jump at the chance to help. If only so they could then trade it to some other arm of the military or private industry to justify their existence and budget.

"Can't see it being a problem no." But he could see it being worth a lot of money, potentially. And he could see himself fronting the whole thing for a piece of the action, too. "There should be a lot of money in this."

"Well I'm not in it for my health you know."

Casa Summers

"Buffy needs a mistress." Joyce Summers pronounced to Willow and Tara as they sat talking over coffee. The red head's parents had disowned her when she 'came out' with Tara, not that anyone, least of all Willow, could tell the difference from their normal behaviour. But anyway she had been coming over for 'mom' advice for years now and how many mom's can a girl really talk to about lesbian issues?

"Ah, ah, given that she doesn't have a girlfriend, wouldn't it just be a girlfriend?" Willow asked. "I mean, a mistress means she's cheating on someone and she isn't ah…"

"No I mean she needs a woman" she looked at the pair of them, first one then the other before continuing "or women to take charge and guide her, take the pressure of decision making from her and control her in a loving way."

"You want us to find her a mistress?" Willow squeaked, still not quite getting it.

"No, I want you to take possession of her jointly." She gave them her most motherly smile before continuing. Keeping Dawn from blabbing about this had been the hard part, all things considered. "Tara you helped pull Willow back from turning to the dark side last year, and now I need the two of you to save my daughter."

"But, why us, I mean, we don't even know she likes girls, I mean, I've never done anything like this, and, ah, why not Xander and Faith, she asked them you know, and I mean, what if we mess it up, and Buffy, she's very 'I must be in control', and what if, ah…"

When she wound down the red head noticed that her girlfriend had gone upstairs, and was now walking downstairs with Buffy behind her. Buffy was wearing a thin, jewelled dog collar with a lead attached, and a pair of fur lined handcuffs. The end of the lead was in Tara's hand. The slayer was either a natural blonde or carried the hair dying to lengths most would consider WAY too extreme.

"Mistress Willow, Mistress Tara wishes you a happy birthday, and your slave wishes to demonstrate her submission to you." Buffy said, looking down so as not to meet her friends eyes. Tara handed the lead to the birthday girl as Joyce got up.

"I have to get back to the gallery now and I'll be back tomorrow afternoon." The slayers mother said. Margaret Walsh had kept her apartment; it was a good investment and allowed her some time to be Margaret Walsh, rather than Slave, when she felt the need. "Buffy, I love you, and happy birthday Willow, I know you'll look after my precious baby little girl."

Some time later the red head lay back on the bed. It was large enough for all three of them, given that two of the women were really quite small. Around them lay a mess of ripped clothes and discarded restraints, whips, paddles, and other toys.

"Tara, you've done this before, haven't you?" She finally said, the tone making it a statement not a question.

"Well you told me it was ok to sleep with straight girls, how you get turned on by it, and Buffy was upset and mixed up and she really needed comforting yesterday and then Mrs Summers walked in with Slave and it was so embarrassing at first…"

"I mean the bondage and discipline thing."

"Oh. I never told you what I was caught doing that made me come to Sunnydale rather than a more famous University, did I?" The other responded. "Well, it was to do with the Mayors daughter and …"