Trainer of Hellmouths

Or some thing should never been told...

Author: John "Hatten" Carlsson <hatten_jc[at]>

If you look long enough in to the Abyss it might foolow you home..

Latest addition

Chapter 1

Riing. Riing Riing It's a early night at the Summer place we see how Joyce is sharpening a couple of Stake's at the kitchen table when the telephone rings she walks over and answering it with a peaceful expression.

Joyce "Hello Summer residence Joyce speaking"

Person on the other side "----"

Joyce "hi Giles what can i help you with ?"

Giles "-------"

Joyce "No you'r not disturbing me i was just sharpening my stakes"

Giles "------"

Joyce "Me? Slaying vampires ? No i meant fixing a Stake, not sharpening a stake hehehe"

Giles "-------"

Joyce "Buffy something happen to Buffy!!!"

Giles "--------------"

Joyce "What do you mean calm it my child"

Giles "--------------------------- --------------- ------"

Joyce "Ooo well i see actually i don't see why do you think being force to watch Pokémon movie the TV show for 48 hour non stop can be dangerous to Buffy. Or How it can be a old Watcher ritual"

Giles "--------------"

Joyce "So this Cruciamentum ritual you watcher do to all slayers, they kidnap them, tie them up, and force them to watch Pokémon Non-stop.!"

Giles "-----------"

Joyce "Okay Next time i would like to come and watch i always like anime. But what did you mean Buffy seem to be a bit crazy"

Giles "---------------"

Joyce "So you saying she captured Angel, trained him to do tricks and sold him to a circus. I still don't see what so bad about that"

Giles "-------"

Joyce "You are right i didn't think about that she will be extremly sad when she regain her mental stabilty again, Did she at least get good price for Angel"

Giles "--------"

Joyce "I am impressed, if she continue with this she might actualy have a honest work in the future"

Giles "-----"

Joyce "Well you naughty boy you, as long as you have the candy I have the whip. Well goodnight to you to Giles"


Joyce looked out the window and quickly removed the Stake and knife and puts them in her pocket.


The door fly open and close and Dawn come storming in with a happy smile on her face.

"Mom it foolow me home may i keep him" Say dawn will she unleach a cuteness attack on Joyce.

Abyss "Oooooouuoooooo"

Joyce "I Dont know Dawn Honny a Abyss is a endless pitt of darkness and evil or Chaoss and we dont know if he is hous broken"

Joyce say with a firm voice will inside she is thinking *This is the Hellmouth expect the unexpectet Giles in leather mmmmmmm*

Dawn: "Buut Mooom look how cute he is and you Lett BUFFY keep Angel and Willow have a Wearwolf"

Joyce: "If they jump of a cliff would you jump after ?. But He do look cute fore a pitt of darkness"

Dawn: "Yea and look how sweet he looks while eating the garbag"

Abyss: "Graaoooooooooo" = Tast like virging (translatet from Soundofvacum langues of the Abyss)

Joyce: "Hihi well you are right he is cute but okey you can keep him but be extra nice to Buffy she might be a bit sad after Selling Angel"

Dawn looks like a questien mark "??? Selling Angel ???"

Boom Door close

Buffy "Moom Look he follow me home can i keep him"

Spike: "Hi luv"

Dawn "Hi hois that ?"

Joce "Buffy not another vampir i hade hope that you would try to find a nice werwolf like willow or a cute demon maby a slime demon like that girl in my Self improvment class"

Buffy "But Moom he follow me home and i am the chosen Vampire Trainer extra ordinare Go'tt to catch them al"

Dawn "??? Trainer im sure it was SLAYER not trainer besid you dont have a licens as trainer"

Joyce drag Dawn to the side and explain the 48 hour of Pokemon Buffy have sufferd trou.

Dawn "Thats wo unfair when i am kidnapt they only look me up in a celler or drag me up in a tower i goot to meet bether kidnaper in the future"

Dawn eye slowly loos focus as she dreams of Pirat Xander kidnaping her and binds her up XXXXXXXXXX and XXXXXX more of XXXXXXXXXX

Spike "Trainer Do you use wipp ? if not can you pleas"

Joce "Well Buffy seeing that Dawn have a nice cute Abyss you may keep Spike but dont forget to leet him out foor a walk and feed him and see that he dont piss on the floor"

Buffy "OKey Mom come spike want to play fetch the ball"

Spike "I'm not a bloody dog you know Joce can use the bloody toilet. Ooo play fetch the ball. I show you ball so far up you ass that you spit it out when you sneaz"

Buffy take up a small read ball from her poket and trow it towards Spikes feet where it suddenly open up and Spike dispapre in a sparkel of light.

On the floor the Ball glow a bit and jump around by it self then it calm down and lie still and Buffy pick it up and stop it in her pocket.

Joyce "Buffy Hony what is that ball think ? and where did you get it ?"

Buffy "It's a Demonball Giles dident have any so i ask Andrew the lockal crazy girlfrindrobot building genius to build me some"

Dawn "Buffy dont the Vampire get angry in the ball"

Buffy "No they come fully equipt with Pavlov behavior modifior treatment"

Joyce "? Modifior what. Are you talking about brainwashing"

Buffy "Moom dont be stupid Vampire and demons dont have a soul and therefore they dont have a brain"

Dawn "Oviusly nighter have the slayer"

Buffy "I heard that butpain"

Joyce "DAWN, BUFFY behave"

Abyss "Groo groo groo" = More fun then reading about Groo the barbarian.

Da Girls of summer hous. "Ooo so cute the Abyss looks"

At the same time in the Harris celler a dark sineister ploot is being createt by a master manipulater.

"So acording to you Wissler a Pet is the sure way to get a girlfrind" Xander ask the Balans demon.

Wissler "Have i ever lie to you Xanman."

Xander "Noo i you where right about the cloading it do make me look good"

Wissler "Exactly ask a balansdemon about fasion and you get the best. Beside acording to this Playboy a bet of any kind is a chick magnet"

Xander "Weel where do we find one that i like to ask."

Wissler "I dont know about you Xander but i am driving to La and try a pet store. Beside you already have a tame and talking Zombie head under your bed"

Xander "hrmm thats not exackly my pet. Its more like a cheap alternativ to a answering machine"

Wissler "You can try calling forward a Fear demon they are only a foot long i hear they are good pets if you mangag to survive the fear they give you"

Xander "Noo there already are a fanfiction with a tame fear demon"

Wissler "you right plaigiat make no one glad. But you can always try the hellmouth they are filld with deadly beastys"

Xander "I think i do that or maby i ask Andrew for help"

Chapter 2

Its not a Extremly Bigg room but its close in the centrum we can see a cage where a lonly and dark dresst man stand in with a suffering look on his face and hair dripping of hairgell outside a man and a womman is standing next to a small electric golfcar.

Woman "this sure is a Bigg room"

Man "yea if we dont use the hole budget the taxpayer get the mony back and we in the military refuse to give them back.!"

Woman blinks and looks suprise at the man "I don't understand what do you mean"

Man "Do you think that a room THIS BIG is cheep ? and if we dont use it then the goverment going to use them on schools and hospitals and other stupid things"

Woman "I see that explain a loot George"

Man namne George. "My plesure Walsh"

Woman namn Walsh "That vampire you bought from the circus seemt to be extremly obident and well train in a cheaper way then the microchip desing you i was planing to do will that not caus any problem then ?"

George "No a cheap effectiv way of gaining vampire solider is just what the contry need the military and airforce and navy can finaly starts to vast our budget on somthing more usefull"

Walsh "I am almost afraid of asking Georg but what are you planing on spending them on"

George "Dont tell any one but we plan on spending it on a big Disnyland vacation fore evry Officers and his/hers family"

Walsh "The hole budget surplus ="

George "Dont be silly some will be spend on lunch"

Walsh "I see"

George turn around looking at the vampire in the cage "So how do you feel Angel !"

Angel look even more misserly before with a sad voice say "Vamp vamp vampsuky suky"

Walsh "Vamp vamp suky. cant he speak"

George "Well the training metod use on him is extremly effecient but it have cetain side affect one is the loos of ablity to speak but he do understand english and can mix a wonderfull margarita"

Walsh "I see. i think i like on right now"

Angel "Vamp vamp Suky suky" and reatch out from the cage with a Margarita to Walsh.

Walsh looks a bit suprise "Thank you Angel" before she turns to George and ask "He can write can he not ?"

George how by now is drinking his own Margarita "Ooo yeas he can but we refuse to give him papper and pen unless we whant to ask him somthing."

Walsh drink drink "Way not ?"

George "He only starts to complain about the bad thing he did and his girlfrind the vampire trainer how sold him and that he dont get inoff Hairgel. he actualy eat that stuff"

Walsh "I see. do i understan right that i shall be buying this monster and Vampire from this Trainer girl ?"

George "Yeas actualy she is a Slayer but became a bit mad after seeing to many Pokemon episode" He turns around and sitt in the golf car and wink to Walsh to foolow sitt down next to him.

"Personly i like SailorMoon more i even have a uniform like Usagi"

Walsh looks at Georg ho is a big fat man with hair that is turning grey and a beird and starts look a bit sick at this information sinks in "I see."

George "Do like to see me dress like Usagi ?"

Walsh "-----------------------" Gulp "I think i going to pucke now.

George noding understanding "I understand finding out Vampire and demons exist can make any one sick.

At the same time in Sunnydale

Willow "Fetch the stick yeas that a good Oz"

Oz "Woof woof" and drools

Willow i "Wich you where a wearwolf al the time Oz you are so cute" Oz "Woof woof"

Knock knock A sound of someone knocking at the door interupt the two lover i mean the pet owner and her wearwolf.

Oz "GRrrrr grrrrrrrrr" = Translation Rival...

Willow "ho is it Oz a monster"

Oz "Rrrgrrrr"

Willow "oo its Zander"


Willow "Down boy NO attacking Xander in the cage with you"

Willow stand up and puts Oz back in his cage before she go and open the door.

Outside Xander is patiantly and a bit nervusly waiting fore willow to come and open the door.

Not that he is afraid of Oz or the night but the 15 Vampire that stand in the corner of the building arguing whether a Human male of late Teen is good eating or if they should eat at the hospital.

They are making him nervus.

1 vamp "I tell you Teenager only tast of teen-ang a oldy is mutch bether tast"

2 Vamp "No they give me heart burn"

1 Vamp "You could eat one of the nurse"

2 Vamp "yea but he IS there"

3 Vamp "I say we eat a dog or cat tonight"

1 Vamp "Euu animal Dam you They have feeling to you know i was a Vegitarian when i was alive HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT"

3 Vamp "I am sorry i just ment we eat human evry night just a bit"

1 Vamp "I will NOT become a Murdering bastard just becuse YOU dont like Eating Human"

2 Vamp "----"

5 Vamp "isent it murder to kill human ? you do that a loot after al" 1 Vamp "I hate you"

The door open and Xander runs in and close it fast.

Xander "Thanks Will i was a bit nervus there are 15 vampire outside" Willow "15 vampire omy good you are not hurt are you Xander"

Xander "No willow they seem more intresting in arguing then eating"

OUtside a Brawl betwen Vamp 1 and Vamp 4 is going on.

The rest of the Vampire "Kill kill kill"

Police officer stupid one "Okey Kids now breat it up"

15 Vampire "Foood" and grabb the Police his car and drive of.

Inside the Rosenburg home

Willow looks out the window "You can relax the vampire hade some take out and left"

Xander "I do hope that was officer Stein"

Willow "I thinks so sad about his parter she looks so afraid and sexy sitting next to al thos vampires. In a Kidnappt by vampire kind of way"

Xander looks a bit strange at Willow and say "If you say so"

Xander then starts to look around and finaly ask "Willow Teoretical speaking WHAT do you need to open the Hellmouth any way"

Willow "Way do you ask XanderDontSayThatSomeOneIsTrayingToOpenIT"

Xander "Calm down Willow No one is trying to open it i just ask to so if some one where trying to open it i recognice the ritual and can stopthem."

Willow Phuu "Dont Scare me like that Xander"

Xander "I'm sorry"

Willow "Okej to open the hellmout you need to kill inoff human to creat a lake of blood OR by consuming a hole library of darkmagick"

Xander "Oo that sound difficult"

Willow "It is that way we always mangeg to stop them"

Xander "So there is no esy way to temporarly open it"

Willow "Actualy there is one but no man demon or human how would humiliate him self doing THAT"

Xander "Do tell"

Willow blush and pick forward a book "look fore your self"

Xander looks and read the thext "A Baseball bat a Blowup sheep and lubricant way would" Suddenly Xander turns a Green in the face when the text say way.

Xander "oo i see"

Willow "Yea now you know way they always prefer to kill instead of going the esy way to destroy the world" Willow face turns as reed as the hair before she say.

"Any one performing THAT ritual must be totaly with out selfasteam and sexualy confuse"

Xander *Or desperat* hi thinks.

"Well thank you willow i be going home now"

Willow "But Xander vat about the 15 Vampire"

Xander "They are driving home with Stein"

Willow "Ooo yea"

Same time at Andrew place.

Andrew "I understand Buffy dont worry i have your DemonsBalls ready by then"

Buffy "Ooo big robot you have"

Andrew "Yea i was planing on using it to talke ower the world but the price of plutonim is just to expansive"

Buffy "Oki maby you can steal some ?"

Andrew blinks and starts thinking "You know buffy that actualy a good plan. Bether them mine to starts a brotherhood of Geeks"

Buffy "You'r wellcome"

Andrew "By the way some other individual have ask if they could by DemonBall from me i hope you dont mind if i sell them some"

Buffy "of cours not how there have to be other Trainers other ways no Demon fights can be arange"

Buffy "Thanks Andrew i got to catch them al. by by"

Buffy say before runing out dress like Misty.

Andrew "Hmmm. if only the Watcher force her to watch Debbi does Dallas. instead of Pokemon"

Chapter 3

Inside a dark celler a young man namne Xander stand Clening of a tabel puting a papper on the tabel he starts talking to him self.

"Oki i like a strong butifull girlfrind in order to get one i need a pet. A demon would be fun but they are hard to get Wath do you think Zombie head ?"

Zombie Head "Pleas kill me"

Xander "Way would i do that i Need a answering machin and you are cheap"

Zombie head grumbels "This is a punhisment RIGHT. I try to Blow up your frinds and kill you and now you forcing me to exist TO live like a bodyless head just to punish me"

Xander "No i promis NO i just need a answering machin and you are cheap. DIdent i get you the Playboy channel"

Zombie Head "Well you did but ITS dusty underthe bed and dark i am afraid of the rats"

Xander "there are RATS Damit i am afraid of rats and Clowns"

Zombie Head "Are you sure that a Demon is the pet you like"

Xander "Jeep do you have any idee"

Zombie Head "No not a thing can you put me infront of the TV now"

Xander "sure" he puts the Zombie head infront of the TV then return to the tabel and starts writing down his choise.

"Lets see 1 Risking my Life hunting down a Demon outside using the DemonBall. 2 Ask Buffy the slayer fore help in capture a Demon.

3 Use the -basballbat + inflatebel sheep ritual to open hellmout."

"Damit" Xander screems as he trow the pencil towards the TV "i dont know what is worst"

Zombie head stops droling at the nude girls on the TV and say "As i see it alternativ 1 You risk yourlife and probly get a stupid or discustin demon that whant impress any one.

Alternativ 2 you get humiliatet by Buffy fore asking her to help you after al A Real man dont ask fore help.

Alterntiv 3 Well if you do that you can never agien call yourself a man."

Xander "I wonder if i can trick a cool demon come to a place where i can capture him with out to mutch work"

Xander starts thinking relly relly hard.

Sudenly a light fills the room and Mrs Harris Xander mom open the door and leans in and screams "Stupid kid stop talking to your self and buy some formalin to you zombi head it stinks"

Then the light go dark as she close the door.

Xander stands up in a heroic pose "I goot it!"

Zombie Head "Wath Feber ? somthing worst"

Xander "Noo stupid head i mean a plan a cunning plan! I fick a competion Mr Dimensional open to Demon ONLY. like Mr world"

Zombie head blinks and try to figer out a somthing to say "You know Xander thats actualy a good plan a dangerus plan but good"

Xander "I know i wonder if Willy the snitch can help me with the detail."

At the Summer hous.

Dawn is playing with her Abyss and Buffy is teatching Spike not to bit the hand thats feds him.

Outside a polis car is driving by its filld with 15 vampire and two scared detectivs aslo calld lunch. But that is another story.

Spike "Vamp Vamp Suky suky" = Dam i whant my ciggarets.

Buffy "esy there boy." Buffy is drest in a black leather and have a wip in her hand.

Joyce "I dont understand Buffy you said the other vampire became nice and half tame as soon as you beaten them and putt them in the Demonball way istent it working on Spike"

Buffy "I dont know Mom maby becuse i trickt him i gues i have to beat him up a bit before. or maby he neds blood that must be it fetch the blood Mom"

Spike is looking a bit angry "SUKY SUKY VAMP VAMP" = ( Translation: I whant my blody smoke man A Ciggaret ho care about BLOOD i am a fucking nicotin slave.)

A brutal and hard wipping later.

Spike "Vamp VAMP SUKY SUKY" Still need my ciggaret but the beating was fun.

Buffy "He still is a bit on the aggresiv side mom i gues i have to kick him some more later" then she trow a Demonball and Spike dissepair.

Dawn stops trowing Sticks and balls in her try to teach the Abyss to fetch not swallow them. "Buffy Mom Spike smoke ciggarets i dont think he is bloodtirsty but need a smoke"

Joyce "Ooo so thats way he is so aggresiv. Weel he just have to stop smoking it cant be good fore him"

Dawn noding "yea it will shorten his unlife"

Chapter 4

Place: Sunnydale Higschool Library.

Time: 1 hour Later then it was supose to be.

Giles: "Dont any one of you know what time it is. I said 12:00 Not 13:00 hour"

Xander: "Giles way are you using millitary way of telling time ?"

Giles: "It's the bloody writers faulth he is a Sweed that cant remember the diffrent betwen Am and Pm. Lets us just forget about this Okey"

Willow "Oki but what thos 13:00 hour mean ?"

Giles "After lunch 1 a clouck Willow"

Willow "Okey sorry i ask"

Xander "Zzzz zzzz Zzzzzz ZZZzz"

Giles: "Wake UP i have importens news"

Xander: "OoYea Zzzzz zzzzzzz Jenny Caldrac zzzzzzzz just bend over and the Big X is coming fore you. Zzzzz zzzzzz"

Giles: "-------" looking neves "You dont think he and may late girlfrind ?"

Willow having a chock fase: "No absoluty not"

Xander: "Zzzz Ride me Baby Ride me ZzzZzzz Ooo Mrs Joyce now i new where Buffy got it from Zzzzzz"

Giles looking werry mutch like Ripper like now grabing a glass can of wather and trowing it on Xander "Wake up you bloody pillock"

Duns "Otch" crash "Help medic ho hit me" Xander ask his T-shirt is weet and he have a glass splinter in his hair.

Giles: "I did i have a imoprtent news and you fell a sleep dreming sex drems"

Xander "Ooo Eee i dident say any thing ? they where just dream inocent fantasy" *Phuu lucky me that i am a good lier Xander thinks*

Oz "Hmmm" *Impressiv Xander is not telling the truth Jenny And Joyce* Ripper looking more and more like Giles agien: "Well that understandabel"

Xander Smile and sitt down "So G-man whats the skinny"

Giles "The Skinny is that Buffy belive she is a Vampire Trainer as in the anime Pokemon"

Xander "And we al know that Look i even goot my own Demonballs"

Oz taking forwards his own "Me tow extra prize at Andrews"

Willow "I dident bay DemonBalls but i did get a DemonIndez" and take forward a small poket computer that have list of al know demon and there abilty.

Giles "You KNEW HOW i only told Joyce last Night"

Willow "Buffy came over and we talkt"

Oz "Willow told me"

Xander "Hrmm ee Joyce told me this morning"

Giles "Joyce This morning what where you doing at the summer place"

Xander "O it was my place while we ate breafust"

Giles looking relived "O she help you make breakfast"

Then he slowly turning gray in his face and anger is transforming him once agien to Ripper.

Oz "Run Xander RUN"

And Xander running boy is he running Giles "I Will Kill you if you bloody walking hormon"

Buffy is entreing the school her face is confuse seing Xander running by with a Axe Trowing Giles close behind.

She carfully entering the library where Willow and Oz is playing with the compturer.

Buffy "Hi guys. Did Giles found out about Mis Jenny ?"

Willow "Eee No"

Buffy looking confuse "Did he found out about his sister Miss Giles"

Oz "When was that ?"

Buffy "During summer it was not on TV or most Fan Fiction"

Oz "ooo"

Willow "Eee not not about her"

Buffy "That he relly Did have a relacen chipe with the mummy?"

Willow "No"

Buffy "what Giles cant be angry about the Chearleden Quad"

Willow "No"

Buffy "He found out about Dru?"

Willow "Noo"

Buffy "Ooo he found out about the Paper plane Xander have made out of the Codex"


Buffy "You know i think it was a baad idee fore Xander to Dresshim self as Cassanova that Halloween"

Oz "Mmmm i wich i hade done that instead of the Donal Duck costum"

In a Cave next door to batmans cave.

15 Vampire gets out from a Police car and drags the middag Police dedetciv Stein and his parter out. But that is a nother story.


Chapter 5

Its a sunny day as usal Giles and Joycee is cerently eating brekfast Giles is reading the papper pretending to ignor Joycee.

Joycee "You're ateamt to kill Xander where relly childist using a Axe dear this IS the 2000 century you know there are perfectly fine guns to buy?"

Giles looking up from the papper "So you like me to kill him then!"

Joycee "Giggels No i just a remind you that you are not relly whant to kill Xander you are just a bit geillus about his me and him"

Giles reading desperly in the papper. "Hmmm intresting acording to the papper a hole cargo filld of Plutonium is lost i do hope no crazy terrorist or mad Shientist is responsibel"

At the same time in Andrew evil Lair or his mom basment.

Andrew "Aaaaatchoo, i hope i dont get sick and way do i suddenly whant to nuke England ?"

Joyce "Giles Lay the papper down and talk to me NOW or you and me are finnish right now"

Giles "yeas dear" and slowly with a gray face puts the papper down and with begging vocie ask "Cant we do this like in england ignor ower feling and pretend nothing happend ?"

Joycee "No Giles we have to face our fears and come clear so that nothing is standing in our way. You do know that i think Xander is fare to young fore me i only wisit him fore the wild and crazy sex" Giles the tomato "Gurgel. I belive thats to mutch information. Do you say that i am not good in bed"

Joycee "Of cours Giles you are quit acceptabel in bed but its like compare a Ferrari with a Volvo."

Writers make comersail: Buy Volvo the Swedish car fore YOUR Safty.

Giles "Well arghe i ment okey hurm those that mean i am boring"

Joycee "No dear i just wish you whent Ripper on my ass more often dear"

Giles Thinks to him self God i have safe the world many time ANY THING to get me out of this and i actualy going to come to church*

The Door suddenly burst open and a scared looking Willow burst in and starts stamering.

Giles "Thank you al might god in heaven"

Joycee fast trow a blanket ower her "Willow you look afraid what is it"

Willow "Joycee what are you doing here Buffy said you where on a Wandering Intresting Paragon of art meting."

Joycee "aa hehe The WIP meting where interuptet becuse of a fire so i just stay at gilles nothing happen betwen us or betwen me and Xander"

Willow "oo so that is not a black Domatrix leather uniform you have under the blanket ?"

Joycee "Ooof cours not you are seeing things"

Willow "Of cours i am seeing things. I Cant belive you Gilles first you try to kill Xander just becuse he is making us girls happy then you force poor Joycee to drees like a cheap hore"

Giles grone and look up "You scold have stopt wile you where ahead with you held GOD"

Joycee turn reed "Oo you to"

Willow "Mmm Ho no no i relly dont like that kind of action and my girlfrind Anya would be angry"

Giles "GIRLFRIND what happend to Oz"

Willow smile prodly "Oz is still my boyfrind he is a happy Puppy now" Giles "---------"

Joycee "I am so provd of you if ONLY Buffy could get a nice boyfrind and a girlfrind at the same time" and hugg the blushing Willow.

Giles "what was it you where going to tell us Willow"

Willow "ooo yea a Evil demon calld the Judge have been is loos in town and he is trying to destroy the world of Help Bill Gate"

Giles "Help Bill Gate ?"

Willow "Jeep that was the proffesy said. I know that Bill was evil but that mutch"

At the same time at Casa del summers.

Buffy is standing in the centrum of 10 vampire "Okey team Buffy your mission is beat up and help capture any vampire or demon that i whant to capture"

10 Vampire looking misserly "Vamp vamp"

Buffy "way are you looking misserly is it becuse you must fight ?"

Vampire shack there heads "Vamp vamp"

Buffy looking qonfuse "IS it becuse of the Pichatchu uniform i force you to where on"

10 Vampire scacking there heads energick and hold there yellow costum protectiv "Vamp vamp"

Buffy "oo It becuse i remove you Internet right"

10 Vamps Noding and looking extremly saad "you will get it back as soon as evry one of you stop writing Buffy Spike ship. Okeej boys"

The 10 Vampire specialy Spike nods.

In the conrner Dawn is sitting and petting her Abyss will eating poppcorn "that actualy make sens only a vampire would write that"

At the time the door opens and Xander dress like with a with a hawaie coller leather tranchoat flowing around him like a hippy on a tripp come wandering in.

Strangly inoff he make the dress looking cool and hansome in evry body eye exept Buffy.

1 Vamp "Vamp Suky Suky" = He looking good 2 Vamp "Vamp Suky Vamp" = I belive you where Hetrosexual.

1 Vamp "Suky Vamp Vamp" = So did i but he make my hear beat.

Dawn looking at him with dreming eyes. and say with a shacky voice "Xa Xandeerr Xander Hi am i looking good"

Xander smile at the young girl using his full been don Juan smile "Of course young lady" As he kiss her hand and slipp her a not on when where they shall meet.

Buffy "HI Xander did you and Mom have fun ?"

Xander blush "No Buffy Giles and Joycee hade one of there night"

Buffy "Ooo so that how the WIP is"

Xander "Hehehe yea exacly"

Buffy "So X-man what can i help you with"

Xander "I was thinking i need to borow some of you Vampire if i can" Buffy "Way do you plan of killing them"

Xander "No absolutly not i was just thinking with a pair of vampire my self i would be safer during the night"

Buffy "But what about Dru"

Xander looking confuse "Okey buffy i will have to fill her in and give her some then"

Buffy "You don't know that she is a vampire"

Xander Blinks confuse then suddenly slapps his forehead "Of cours that how she knows that vampire cant get a eraction"

Buffy nods her head and say "Its the lack of puls they are always small but its not the size that matter"

Dawn "that wats you claim i prefer big"

Xander and Buffy "What you to young"

Dawn "Got to go now" and run out of the room.

Buffy "I will kill the one how gave her the book Lolita"

Xander thinks hard "i think i will say thank you"

Buffy looking hurt "What"

Xander "The writer consider that as the actor playing Dawn is surly old inoff its okey"

Buffy fronw her head "But this is a fiction"

Xander "Not my fault. But can i borrow the Vampire"

Buffy "Oki take some from that pile in the corner you can have five of them as a birthday pressent"

Xander looks at a BIG bile of Demon balls its must be atleast hundred or more "THEY al have Vampire in them"

Buffy "Dont be silly some have demons in them like that nice Doyle charactar".

Xander Gulps "Thanks Buffy"