Wednesday Morning

Author: Paradigm Shifter <paradigmshifter2001[at]yahoo.com>

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Joss, WB, UPN et al. own Buffy.

Feedback: Yes please!

Pairing: Xander/Buffy

Notes: Part 3 in what began as fever dreams. This and subsequent parts may become more my normal style (no!) because I feel a lot better…

This part is as much Eckles as mine, in truth. Without his ‘beyond the call of duty’ input, this chapter would not even be half of what it is now. I owe him tremendously for his aid with this series.


Buffy sat looking at the phone. She knew she really should call, but didn’t want to disturb Xander if he was busy. The last time she did that, yesterday, something bad happened not long after.

She had listened as Xander talked to the answer phone, sounding as miserable as sin. Buffy told herself that she was angry with him for hanging up on her, but since a lonely night in their bed, she had managed to talk her hurt ego round to the fact that it wasn’t Xander’s fault. If he didn’t look after his men, he wouldn’t be as popular a Foreman as he was.

Buffy had a good reason to call. Catherine was ill. Not seriously, but the doctor had told Buffy to keep an eye on her, and call him if it got any worse. On her Term break too. It wasn’t fair, and Catherine continued to point that out in the moments when she was awake.

Buffy was a second away from picking up the phone when it rung of it’s own accord.

*****

Xander sat in his office. Yesterday had been one disaster after another. With Craig falling, he was one carpenter short, even if he was only an apprentice. It meant that work would take another week, maybe two.

So much for their early completion bonus.

But… at least Xander's own boss was understanding, and had explained it in words of one syllable to the moneymen, who didn’t care what had happened or who it happened to, just that the work was complete on schedule. Well, that was easier said than done when short, and Xander was only glad he didn’t have to go face to face in a screaming match explaining why.

It seemed to be the universal law of Bureaucracy: money, and shouting got things done. It went down the system until finally the bottom was reached and the poor recipient lost his job over it.

Xander, however, was in the middle of the ladder. Not quite high enough to be a shouter and screamer, but high enough not to be fired when they got angry.

Xander's mind strayed to the phone. He had left Buffy a message, but she hadn’t replied. He wondered, in the doubting corner of his mind what that meant. It probably just meant that she was busy… but…

He bit his lower lip, picked up the handset, and started dialling…

*****

“Hello?” Buffy asked the phone.

“Buffy?” Xander sounded relieved. Like he would have to talk to the answer machine again, and that he was dreading that possibility.

“I’m here, Xand.” Buffy felt her heart melt again just at the sound of his voice. “Xand, are you okay?    You don't sound so good.”

"There was a ... a thing here that needed to be taken care of.    I had to drop everything I was doing, you were the 'everything'."

"Hey, it's not the first-time.” Buffy smiled softly, “I still have that bruise on my butt with the whole lifting over the threshold stunt."

For the first-time since he phoned her back there seemed to be genuine levity in his voice. "No you don't, and for the last time - you slipped. Those silk wedding dresses are slippery suckers."

"If your still keeping to that story then it's fine by me, I just thought out of everybody you would be the last one to participate in Spousal Abuse." As soon as the words left her and followed their dreaded path down the phone line to his ear she wished she could've taken it all back. In person her husband would have been able to recognize from the expression on her face that she was toying with him. But with that face now invisible, her words would only stir undesired memories. Memories that both had fought hard to move beyond. But like all moments of unhappiness they still remained in the periphery of thoughts.

 

“…………………”

"Xand? It's... it's okay, I was jok…"

"Joking; got it. Yuks and Belly laughs." Xander was having one of the worst day's of his life, and even though he didn't mean the bitterness to rise up within him, especially to the mother of his beautiful daughter, he still felt a measure of betrayal of her for directing his attention back to the area of the unwanted 'before-time'.

"You’re not him, Xander. You’re not your Father, you never can be. I wouldn't have fallen in love with you if you were like that."

Xander tried to distance the conversation from the most his most feared of topics. Forcing false cheer into his voice he said, "Let's... let's just drop it Buff. You called, I hung-up, I called back. So what's the what?"

The quickly shifting chirpiness didn't fool the Bride of four years. "No, we are going to hash this out here and now. No brooding, no sullen moments. When something is wrong, then we talk about it until it's not wrong anymore. That's how we do things in *our* family." Buffy implied the 'our' strongly, it wasn't his family, it wasn't her family, it was theirs. Both of them had made a family together, and she was never prouder of any accomplishment then when she would come down stairs and see her Husband and Daughter playing together in the perfect peace they had both created for their child. The high she used to get from saving the World was not even close to something she could compare this sight to. "So, what's wrong?"

"Hard morning; had a situation that needed addressing." Xander paused for a moment, steeling himself with the intent of not sharing the catastrophe with the love of his life, knowing full well that it would only frighten her for his own safety upon the Various Lot's he worked. But before he could add anything his wife interrupted his silence, interpreting his halting words for something else and offering him reassurance without even being asked a question.

"Your not him either, Xander. And I never loved him, not in the same way as I love and adore you. Yes, I had issues, and I worked through them in the most self-destructive way. It was a convenience, he and I. We were just... *I* was just empty.   We've discussed this before, I didn't 'settle' on you after what happened at the High School. I opened my eyes to you for the first-time in a long time, and I was kicking myself at my stupidity."

"I... I know, I'm sorry. It's just that... just that………” His mind hadn't been drifting there until she mentioned it, but now that she had he now was finding it difficult to think of anything else.

"There is no 'just that', this wasn't a Competition. If I wanted to still be with him, either of them, then I would be in LA at this very moment, wouldn't I? But I'm not.   Instead I'm with you, and our daughter. Happier then I've ever been in my entire life.   If this *was* a Competition, Xander. You would have won. You would have had everyone eating your dust.   I wake up each morning happier then I was when I went to bed. And that's because of you. That's all because of you. You had the patience to wait until I was freshly made, warm 'Cookies'."

"What is it with you and that damn 'Cookie-Dough' Metaphor? Every time you use it, it just makes me hungry."

This time the humour was genuine, and the Slayer felt she had slayed this demon to death once again ... until, of course, the next time when she would make another passing comment of thoughtlessness. But she supposed she deserved it. Some mistakes you make and move on from, and other's you pay for. This one she would probably be paying for a long, long time. And it would be a debt happily done. For she meant every word of what she said and what she was going to say again.    "Xander, I love you, never, ever doubt that."

In time she knew this reassurance would take hold. But she also knew that he had loved her since the first time he claimed to have laid eyes on her, and considering the years that followed where she effortlessly ignored his obvious caring, she knew convincing him of her genuineness would take some time despite the everything they had gone through and experienced since they first started 'seeing each other'. She knew that he still woke up some mornings in disbelief that he had actually 'won' her, when in reality it was her who felt like the victor.

Coyly Xander answered into the receiver. "Just me? What about Catherine?"

Buffy paused for a moment. Should she tell him? It was only fair, and only right. "Ahh….. yes, Catherine - I love her in sickness and in health. Right now….. it's in sickness."

"What?” Xander zeroed in on what he considered to be the most important part of that statement. “Catherine’s ill?”

“Yeah,” Buffy agreed, “but the doctor says it isn’t too bad. Just something making the rounds in the schools, apparently. It’s nothing to worry about…”

“My… Our,” Xander corrected himself, “daughter’s ill. That’s not ‘nothing to worry about’, Buffy.”

“Catherine should be fine in a couple of days. By the time you finish this contract, and get back at the weekend, it’ll be better.”

“Ah…” Xander muttered.

“What is it?” Buffy asked.

“That’s was something I want to talk to you about, Buff… before we got….. distracted…..” Xander sounded nervous again, loosing the half-commanding, half-terrified tone that he had gained when taking about Catherine being ill. “There are two types of news. Good, and Bad. Which do you want first?”

Buffy sucked in some air between her teeth. “I don’t know… surprise me. Bad.”

“OK… the contract won’t end for another couple of weeks. When I had to run yesterday? That was my apprentice carpenter falling and breaking his leg.”

“He’s not badly hurt is he?” Buffy asked worriedly. The last apprentice that Xander had had on his work crew had come to their last Christmas party, and had been quite the charmer. Simon had had Faith eating out of his hand, and both Willow and Kennedy had been obviously checking him out. Maybe they weren’t quite as gay as they thought they were.

“Don’t worry Buff. He’s in hospital with a broken leg, like I said, but other than that, he’s been very lucky. Craig should be fine.”

“Craig?” Buffy asked confused.

Xander tutted at himself. “Sorry, I forgot… we got a new one. Simon moved on to head his own crew. At my recommendation. You knew he was good, I did mention it a few times…” Xander sounded moderately reproachful.

“Oh.”

“Y’wanna hear the good news, or want to dwell on the bad?” Xander teased.

“Oh… the bad news was so bad, I think I’d better go have a lie down…” Buffy teased right back, and laid the phone on the table. She heard Xander’s nervous voice, calling her.

“Buffy? Buffy?! Where’ve you gone, hon? Buffy!” He quietened for a second, before “Dammit…” came out the phone.

Buffy picked it up again. “Only teasing!”

Xander’s exaggeratedly relieved sigh made Buffy giggle.

Buffy giggled a bit more. “You know I love you, right?”

“If I didn’t, Buff… I do now.” Xander laughed, the previous unease at the beginning of the conversation gone from his voice. “So… the good news?”

“Hit me!”

“Not literally, I take it? I’m a bit far away, and all… and you’ve never shown any inclination for that sort of sex…” Xander tailed off as one face flashed in his mind.

“Xan?”

“Nothing, hon.”

“Were you…?”

“Yeah.”

“You helped me, Xan. That was over before it even began. I just didn’t realise it.” Buffy didn’t want to get onto this again. Hadn’t they just finished this topic? But then, on the phone, both dwelt in the past….. living their nightmares as they talked. In person, it was so much better.

“I’m gonna apply for that desk job you wanted me to get.”

“He was…” Buffy started, still defending herself, before she ran through Xander's last sentence in her head. “You huh?”

“I’m. Gonna. Take. The. Desk. Job.” Xander enunciated each word slowly, carefully, making sure to keep a straight face. If he smiled, he would laugh. And that would spoil the effect.

“That’s GREAT!” Buffy squealed with glee.

Xander, on his end lifted the phone away from his ear for a second, wiggling a finger in to check it was still functioning. “OK… easy on the ol’ ear drum next time please Buff?”

“Sorry.” Buffy said apologetically.

“It’s OK.” Xander laughed. A sound in the background made him sigh in resignation. “Look, Buff… I’ve got to go. Talk to you Saturday.”

“Bye, Xan. Love you.”

“You too, Buff. Love you too. Tell Catherine to get better, or no Twinkies.”

Buffy laughed. “I’ll make sure to tell her. She misses you, Xand. You know that.”

Xander sounded miserable. “I know, Buff. I know. Tell her I love her too, ‘kay?”

“Will do.”

They hung up the phone simultaneously.

End