Xander sighed as he walked into the Magic Box. Ever since they had resurrected Buffy, everything just seemed so...fake. Buffy wasn't responding, Dawn was repressing, Willow was out of it, and Tara worried constantly about Will's magic usage. And they all pretended everything was just fine. He sighed again as he pulled out one of Giles's demon-y manuals, flipped on the radio, and started looking for the 'Big green ooky thing' Buffy had killed last night. Just as he glanced at the part about M'hora demons, a new song started playing:
I can hear that highway calling
As I watch the sunrise crawling across her shoulder
This is usually goodbye
And yet those words I just can't find here as I hold her
She's like no other woman
That I have known before
And it ain't me to see the morning sun
From this side of the door
'The sunrise crawling across her shoulder.' How many times had he seen Buffy like that? With the first vestiges of dawn creeping across her golden hair? Not anymore. He hadn't patrol with her allot lately, and when he did, they were always done well before dawn. And Buffy certainly wasn't like any woman he had ever know before. Strong, beautiful, and deadly, she possessed something that other women just couldn't match.
Why ain't I running, why ain't I gone
How does she hold me without holding on
In love or a fight she's stronger than strong
Something's not right if there ain't nothing wrong
It's got me wondering, why ain't I running
Why ain't I gone
And there's the question he'd been asking himself since she came back. 'Why ain't I gone?' After Buffy died, he had had a purpose in Sunnydale, he had been needed. But now? He wasn't needed anymore. She was 'stronger than strong', she could stand up to anything, she was the Almighty Slayer. Or so she claimed. So why was he still here?
All those words I left behind me
Praying they would never find me and my freedom
But if they stood right here beside me
They would never recognize me for all that she's done
Once happiness was only
Whenever I was on my own
So now why do I feel lonely
Any time that I'm alone
Another line that fits my life exactly. 'They would never recognize me for all that she's done.' I remember my friends from before she came. Friends who had died in mysterious accidents before I became aware of our town's horrors. Heather and Lance and Adam and...Jesse. Would they recognize me now? After I've seen so much, fought so long? I think not. And nowadays I'm almost always alone. I used to love being on my own, but now? It's just depressing.
Why ain't I running, why ain't I gone
How does she hold me without holding on
In love or a fight she's stronger than strong
Something's not right if there ain't nothing wrong
It's got me wondering, why ain't I running
Why ain't I gone
No, they've never built a wall that high
Or made a chain that strong
And God ain't never made a place
I felt like I belong
Why ain't I running, why ain't I gone
How does she hold me without holding on
In love or a fight she's stronger than strong
Something's not right if there ain't nothing wrong
It's got me wondering, why ain't I running
Why ain't I gone
"Why ain't I gone?"