Author: Cobra <cobra_7422000[at]yahoo.com>

Rating: pg-13/R

Summary: Xander has a talk with a confused Andrew.

Disclaimer: Don't own it.


Archivists Warning : If you don't have a very flexible sence of humor, don't read this one

Chapter 1

"XANDER!!" Buffy the Vampire Slayer yelled with all her supernatural lung power.

"WHAT?!," Xander said as he came in from the backyard covered in sweat. It had been a bad day and he wasn't willing to put up with Buffy at the moment.

"I need the bathroom lock fixed."

"I'll get to it in a minute."

"Now Xander," Buffy said with a strict tone.,"I have to take a shower."

"So what? No one here want's to see that." Xander said as he turned and walked back outside. Buffy stood fuming for a moment before walking out the back door after the young carpenter.

"I SAID.." Buffy started only to have the young man spin quickly and glare at her shorter form.

"I heard what you said. BUT, I'm busy. I'll get to the damn lock after I get the gas leak fixed, and I get the refridgerator to work. And after I do the million other damn things it seems ONLY I can do. Such as cook dinner. And buy dinner." Xander said with rage in his eyes. He was pissed. Very very pissed.

"If that's how your going...." Buffy started only to be cut off again as Xander turned and walked away. Buffy stomped her foot and turned walking back into the house.

"Wow, I didn't think you had it in you..." Anya said with a superiour smirk from the side of the house.

"Don't start." Xander said glaring at the woman as he picked up his hammer and moved back to boarding up the back windows.

"I just can't believe that you blew up like that at Buffy. You want Spike to rip you a new one or something?" Anya asked in a seemingly innocent tone. The hammer Xander was swinging seemed to get more force as it slammed through the half inch plywood the carpenter was nailling to the outside of the Summer's home.

"I swear to all that is holy if Spike even looks at me wrong tonight I'll shove Buffy's Mr. Pointy straight up his undead ass." Xander said as he turned to look at Anya leaving the hammer stuck into the plywood. The former vengence demon's eyes widened in shock as she saw the look on her ex-fiance's face. She nodded her head slowly and turned walking out of the back yard.

"Finally." Xander muttered to himself as he turned around and pulled the hammer from the plywood.

"XANDER!" He heard Willow scream as she walked out the backdoor. He growled and slammed a new hole in the plywood with the hammer head. He left it hanging as he turned to face his friend.

"What Wills?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"What did you say to Buffy?" Willow asked with what she thought was her resolve face.

"I told her I was to busy to fix the damn lock on the bathroom door and that no one here cared to see her naked ass in the shower." Xander said with a straight face that made Willow lose her train of thought.

"What?" The red head asked confused.

"Look, I've got a LOT of work to do. I have to board up the windows, fix the gas leak on the stove, fix the fridge, then I have to cook dinner for everyone. AGAIN. I've got enough on my damn plate right now. She can fix the lock by her damn self. All it takes is a phillips head screwdriver."

"Xander you have the wrong attitude." Willow said with her resolve face again. Xander smiled and pulled the hammer out of the plywood and handed it to Willow.

"Okay then. You do it all. Fix the windows, I'd like supper to be done by six. Any later and you'll have all those screaming teenage girls at your throat. Good luck." Xander walked into the back of the house leaving a stunned Willow in his wake.


Three hours later.

Andrew sat on the couch beside Xander and watched as Buffy, Willow, and Anya glared at the young carpenter.

"What's there problem?" The young man asked the guy that he looked up to.

"There women." Xander said loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. Including all the SIT's eating around the only two men in the house. That aren't vampires anyway.

"What's that got to do with it?" Andrew asked seemingly not noticing all the angry stares sent there way.

"It means that no matter how strong and independant they think they are they always try to find a nice guy to take advantage of. To do everything there 'SUPERPOWERED' selves can't seem to do. Like pick up a hammer or pick up the bills." The glares where increased ten fold.

"Huh?" Andrew asked completly confused.

"Look, here's the best advice I can give. Never get a girlfriend, even a friend that's a girl. Just continue to look up porn on the internet. It's a hell of a lot more peaceful." Xander said as he stood and walked out of the house toward his car. Andrew looked around the roomfull of SIT's and scoobies his face red...

"Um.. I never looked up porn......."

The End