It was another beautiful day in the small town of Sunnydale, California. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the morning air smelled of pine and roses, and after the sunrise, the clouds looked extra fluffy and wispy.
Yup. These were the classic signs that today would be a living heel for me.
I tries to drift back to sleep after shutting off the alarm clock, but five minutes late Anya shook me awake, "Get up, Sleep-face," she whispered loudly in my ear.
"Sleepy-head," I groaned pulling the covers over my head.
Anya pulled them right back down. "Head, face," she said. ".....same skull, same problem. You're not awake yet."
"Anya have you been outside lately?"
"It's a wonderful day!"
"Exactly! That me in another ten hours some demon is gonna come out and suck our brains, or take our voices and cut our hearts out or make me into its bitch. If we get up now, we're taking our lives in our own hands!"
"You can't stay home from work just because the Hellmouth might get you. Suppose everybody felt that way. Nobody would work, and then they wouldn't make money, and they wouldn't be able to use it to support businesses like mine.....and small businesses are the backbone of this country's economy. If that fold, the dollar will lose all its value and we'll have to use Euros. You don't want to use foreign money, do you? Besides...we have a wedding to pay for...so up! Up! UP!
I hauled myself out of bed , trudged into the bathroom and got into the shower, letting the hot water wake me from my slumber. As the water woke me up. my mind drifted over the past couple of months. Buffy's death had hit all of us hard but nowhere bear as hard as finding out that our good intentioned resurrection spell had pulled her out of Heaven and not the tenth level of Hell. Our little self-made family has been strained ever since, and it's showing, Giles' leaving was a symptom of the strain and also partly responsible for it. Willow's addiction to magic hasn't helped. It made Tara leave and forced us to face the possibility that our Scooby Gang was becoming not so much of a "Gang" anymore. We seem to be drifting apart, going our separate ways. Sure, we still save the world together on a regular basis, but fighting (and sometime running from) demons is not a good foundation for building a relationship especially on the Hellmouth.
I tries to think of ways to solve the problem, but wasn't blessed with any earth-shattering revelations. After I toweled off and got dressed, I checked myself on the mirror and then went to see what Anya was up to.
I found her in the kitchen making breakfast moving gracefully from sink to stove and back again in her Victoria Secret's lingerie. It was a sight I'd gotten use to, but never got tires of. I went over to her and pulled her into my arms, surprising her with a deep passionate kiss. The rest of the world dissolves away in moments like these when I let myself lost in Anya's embraces I remind myself each time that nothing the Hellmouth had waiting for me mattered as long as I could spend the rest of my life in the arms of the woman I love.
My work day went relatively smoothly and as it wore on I began to think my "Spider Senses" were off and that maybe nothing too terrible would happen. I regretted the thought immediately. I had just jinxed myself (I hate it when I do that). I remembered that I ha promised Buffy that I'd go on patrol with her that night, so the Hellmouth has the entire night to screw me over in some way. I was apprehensive about that for the rest of the day, right up to the time I picked Buffy from the Double-Meat Palace.
I felt better as we patrolled. Evil was a no show on the streets and in the graveyards, and we ended up just wondering around town. Eventually we gave up and started for home. We were half-way to Buffy's house when 'Evil' finally reared its ugly head.
A big black van came screaming down the street at us and cut us off by driving onto the curb. For a spilt-second after I saw the Death Star painted on the side, I wished with all might that Principal Snyder would pop out of it...or the Mayor...or Glory.. or ever Harmony for Pete's sake!"
No such luck. The side door opened and we were soon facing off against Warren, Andrew and Jonathan, the trio of loser from high school that decided they were going to conquer Sunnydale and go through Buffy to do it (Boy are they dumb). Warren was carrying a ray gun of some kind and was pointing it at us.
"I don't believe this," Buffy said "What is it with you guys? Not getting enough fist in you diets?"
As a evil grin crossed Warren's face as he said: "Joke all you want Slayer, but this time you're going to die. This new weapon of ours...."
He never got a chance to finish, since he was to busy stopping Buffy knuckle with his mouth...and her foot with his ribs.... and her knee with his....well you get the idea. He didn't use the ray gun either. It collapsed to the ground as he staggered under Buffy's assault.
With Buffy occupying herself with the leader, I had the pick of sloppy seconds. I decided to beat the crap out of Andrew. He looked scrawny enough, I beat a couple tattoos into his midsection and topped it of with a haymaker to his face. One more combination sent the nerd flying into the van, where his head met the Death Star, sending his body to met the ground.
Buffy finished with Warren about the same time I did and we both turned Jonathan, who picked up the gun, when we weren't looking, Buffy was closer so she move in on him, but the little moron fired the weapon in panic and its beam hit Buffy and then it hit me as well.
For a second my world went black and when I recovered...I was standing near Jonathan! "Oh, no.....I didn't work! " He whimpered, then ran off. I would've gone after him, but I wasn't too sure myself what might have gone wrong or right with weapon. I wasn't dead; I had no obvious cuts or scrapes. I couldn't feel any wounds on my side or my head, or my breasts. Then it hit me, and my eyes went wide or rather, her eyes went wide.
"Oh crap," I said in Buffy's voice.
"I'm gonna kill those bastards!" I heard my own voice growl.
I turned to see my body look itself over, probably operating under Buffy's control. It confirmed my worst fear, and I wondered idly how Anya would feel about being engaged to the Vampire Slayer....
After I thought of the many ways of which Anya could possibly freak out, I finally noticed that Buffy had been taking. I heard the words "Crypt" and "Let's go" as soon as I started paying attention. Wondering what she' been trying to tell me, I decided to just follow her lead.
We walked for what seemed like forever, especially in a pair of high-heeled leather boots (which hurts like hell, by the way). Buffy finally stopped in the middle of the graveyard. Looking up at the structure in front of me, I rolled my eyes. She had taken us to Spike's crypt (Did I mentioned how much I hate him?), and I had no clue why. Its not like he's helped us that much in the past. Plus I really didn't feel like being laughed at by that joke of a vampire. Upset by the though of the Bleached Wonder finding out about my present predicament, I asked Buffy "What are we doing here?"
She put a hand on my shoulder and said "Relax Xand, I bough you here so we can talk privately."
Sighing I said "How do you known Spike isn't home?"
"He's out," she said in what I like to call my angry tone.
"How do you know that?" I asked smugly.
"Because I usually patrol with him. Why do you think I asked you to come with me? He's out with his friends playing Kitty Poker."
"Spike has friends?"
"Shut up and get in there," she said pointing to the crypt.
After pushing me in, she closed the door behind her. Taking in the surroundings, I noticed that Spike had changed a few things in his home. It looked like he was trying to impress someone by actually cleaning it. I sat on his bed and listened carefully to what the almighty Chosen One had to say. Buffy paced back and forth in front of me as she spoke, putting some serious mileage on my feet.
"Okay's here's the 'sitch': Obviously, whatever that things was the Dorky Trio was using switched our minds into each other's bodies."
"Oh, ya think?" I say, still not used to hearing my sarcasm come out in Buffy's voice.
"Hush!" She says. This is serious. The way I see it we have two really bad options. One we can tell everybody what happen......"
"And thus be the butt of many embarrassing jokes and the cause at le3ast one case of trauma in the person of a certain ex-demon....."
",,,or we can try fake our way through the next day or so while we try find Dumber, Dumber, and Dumbest and make them change us back."
"...which could result in several cases of shock-trauma, including us."
"I said they were both bad ideas, Xander. The nice thing about the first idea is that once they stop laughing, our friends will search for a solution to the problem that doesn't require the bad guys' cooperation."
"Ah, but what about our friend that don't know about all this 'Slayer' stuff, oh wise Buffster?" I said. "Like your fiends from the Double-Meat Palace."
"Or yours from the construction company," Buffy said. You're saying our only real choice is whether we tell the other Scoobies or not. We can't tell the others."
"Ding, Ding, Ding! 'Tell her what she's won, Johnny!!'" I knocked off the sarcasm when she glared at me with my eyes, Creepy! "I suppose we could take a few days of from work..."
"Maybe you can afford to take time off, but I can't! I have a sister to keep out of the hands of the Social Service Gestapo, remember?" she sighed, thence looked me straight in the eyes. "Can you flip a veggie burger?"
I was afraid she's ask something stupid like that. "Gee....Spatula Physics. Never my best subject , but I think I can manage it. Can you read schematic blueprint?"
"Sure." She said was too quickly. "That's like, what, that floor plan thingy the architects draw, right?"
At moment, I didn't think it was possible for us to be any more screwed. I keep on forgetting where we live.
"What are you two doing here?" I heard a familiar voice. I jumped from the bed, and both of us looked in the direction of the crypt's entrance and saw Sunnydale's own Billy Idol wanna be strutting toward us.
"Spike!" Buffy said.
"That's my name Whelp," said Spike. "And this my home, and I'd like to known why you two have dropped in unannounced."
Seconds ticked by as I thought of how exactly we were going to explain our situation, I was about to tell him everything when Buffy said "We were looking for you."
"And what need me for, Droopy?" asked spike nastily.
"We need for help patrolling, You known just in case something bug and ugly goes bump in the night."
"Well, I am sure the Slayer told you that this my night off."
"I told him that, Spike, but you know Xander, he never listens to a word to a word anyone says." I said, deciding to go along with the charade for the moment.
"Make sure it doesn't happen again Slayer."
"I will. Let's go, Xander," I said angrily.
After hauling Buffy to the center of the graveyard, I sat down on one of the benches and took off those stupid boots and began massaging what was now my feet. As I continued to work tension out of my feet, I looked at Buffy angily.
"What?" She asked innocently.
Why didn't you tell The Fangless Wonder the truth?"
"Because I decided that we're not going to tell anyone about this," She said.
"So we're going with the whole fake our way through the next day plan?"
"Yes."
"I don't think that's such a great idea." I said as I crossed my arms.
"Why not?" She said. "I'd rather tell no one than be the laughing stock of the Scooby Gang. Besides, like I said before both ideas are bad but my instincts tell me to go with this one."
"First of all Buffy, I have no clue to be a Slayer. Second of all, although you're very strong, you know nothing about construction work. And last but not least , unless you're a lesbian all of a sudden, I don't think you really want to sleep with Anya."
"Believe my it'll work. I'll teach you everything you need to know about Slaying and you'll teach me everything about construction. AS for Anya....I'll just tell her I'm sick or something."
"Fine, but I still don't think this is a good idea."
"Your protests are duly noted. Let's go before Dawn and Willow start worry about me."
We made it to each other's homes without a problem, and I snuck into Buffy's place quietly. Fortunately Willow and Dawn were already asleep, and I made it to Buffy's bedroom without waking them. I took a look around before I got ready for bed. I never realized just how....girly her bedroom was, as if she was still trying like crazy to be normal girl even after all she's seen as the Slayer. I check Buffy's......my watch. I was tired, it was even later and there was no telling what DMP managers did to employees work groggy. I pulled off my jacket and the DMP uniform shirt, then started to lift my t-shirt over my head. I froze when the hem was just under my chest. It suddenly hit me what I doing. All the time over the past six years that I've wondered what Buffy was hiding under her clothes came back to haunt me in a rush, and all at once I felt perverted and stupid because I couldn't bring myself to take advantage of my situation. I would have felt way too guilty. I put my shirt down and rummaged through the dresser in the room and pulled out a t-shirt and some briefs that looked like a hybrid of panties and boxers. I laid them on the bed, took a deep breath and began undressing again, hoping I could manage to change with my closed.
I tossed and turned all night and woke the next morning thinking it had all been some horrible nightmare. I heard the shower going and thought Anya must have beaten me to it. I got out of bed and trudged sleepily into the bathroom, only to barely registering the fact that the toilet didn't seem to be the right place. I walked over to the bowl and lifted the lid and seat, then pulled down the front of my briefs with one hand and reached in with the other...and drew both hands back as I came to the agonizing realization that it hasn't been a dream after all. I balled up both hands into fists and beat the air in front of me as I gave a defeated little chuckle and muttered. "Please God, make it stop!"
"Buffy, it that you?" A voice called from the from the shower stall.
My eyes bugged out when I realized it was Willow.
"Uh...hi, Will." I said, in a voice still way too high.
"Hey Buffy. How was patrolling with Xand?"
"Fine." I said. "Just fine.....the usual...Vampires...no big bads....nothing weird happened or anything."
"Cool." Willow said. "Say, could you do me a favor?"
"Sure." I said, and turned to face the show at just the wrong moment. That was when Willow decided to open the shower stall.
One minute there was frosted glass, then the next there she was" Willow. Naked. Soaking wet. Glistening wet. Soapy. She was partially obscured by the door, but nowhere near partially enough. Thousands of girl next door fantasies flashed through my mind before I could sanitize my thoughts, and in a moment of panic I agonized over how Willow might react if she somehow sensed that Buffy had suddenly developed the hots for her. It took all of my will power to keep my eyes on her face.
"Could you wash my back?" Willow asking acting nonchalant as she handed me sponge type glove.
"All I could manage to do was nod like an idiot and take the glove as she turned to let the shower stream hit her back.
*Don't panic,* I told myself as she moved her long hair to give me access to her back.
*You're just a platonic friend helping your childhood friend was her back.* As I reached my trembling hand in and made contact with her body, I could help thinking: *Yep....Platonic friend...HOT.... gay.... platonic friend....that's a natural red head* I forced myself to think of baseball as I scrubbed her back with the soapy sponge.
Sucky baseball.....Mets versus the White Sox baseball.
It didn't help when she purred with contentment and then said softly, "Harder Buffy. It feels better when you do it harder."
At that moment I screwed my eyes shut, gritted my teeth and told myself over and over: *in your real body you're engaged....IN YOUR REAL BODY YOU'RE ENGAGED !!*
In this state I almost missed it when she said "Um...Buffy?" I tried to put a normal look on my face encase she was looking at me, but I couldn't keep my voice from cracking when I answered.
"Y...Yeah?" I said as I noticed that she wasn't looking at me but at something else.
"What's the toilet seat doing up?"
I don't remember what story I told her about the toilet seat I was too desperate to finish her back and get out of there. After I was done washing her back I ran to "my" room and I didn't come back out until Willow was in her room getting dressed.
I eventually got dressed myself, hoping I didn't violate any girly fashion rules, and headed downstairs. Willow was on her way out the door on her way to class, carrying a Pop-tart in her hand.
"Bye Buffy." She said to me. "Sorry I used up all the hot water.
"That's okay." I said. :I think the freezing cold shower did me good." I smiled and she smiled back before she walked out the door, I apparently fooled her into thinking that I was the genuine Slayer and not some cheap imitation.
I'd passed on big test, barely. The next one was waiting in the kitchen as I went in to grab some breakfast.
"Hi Dawnie," I said when I saw her.
"Hi, Buffy." She said, as she buttered some toast. I went over to pure myself some coffee as she said, "How was patrolling?"
"Good...killed some vampires...yeah...me" I said as I took a sip. "How was school?"
"It was insane!" She said, with a silly grin on her face. "Suzie Derkins got her period in gym class yesterday!"
I felt ceramic dissolve to power as my Slayer fist clenched around the handle of the mug. Wanting that to be the only visible reaction, I tired to keep my face neutral. "Really," I said trying to sound interested. Had her first period in gym, huh?"
"Oh, it was all over the gym floor...and the locker room floor and..... the shower. Figures her first time would be her heaviest. She spent the rest of the day crying in the Nurse's office. It was sick!
"I can just imagine." I said, secretly horrified.
"I'm glad it wasn't as bad for me!" Dawn said. "you never told me...what was it like for you?
"For me?" Well...That's a...long story..." I said, managing to keep all my screaming on the inside.
"It's okay. I have another half an hour before I have to go to school."
I sighed, realizing that I would have to come up with some cockamamie story to appease Dawn.
"Okay....I was fourteen and it was my first year at Hemery. This guy name Ford asked me to the Homecoming Dane and I had bought the most perfect white ball gown. Well, we were dancing to one of my favorite songs....
"EWWW!" Dawn said, then chuckled. "Don't tell me anymore...I get the idea. "With that, she made her way upstairs.
"I'd better get ready for school. Xander will be here any minute...."
*Oh, no!* I thought to myself. I had forgotten that I was usually the one who picked up Dawn for school before going to work. Now Buffy would be the one driving...and in my new car no less!
Remembering how Slayers and cars didn't mix, I ran up the stairs and knocked on Dawn's door.
"What?"
"Dawnie, I just had an idea."
"What is it?"
"We haven't been spending that much time together lately, so I thought it would be nice to walk you to school today."
"Don't you have to go to work?"
"I don't have to go until three."
"Okay, I'll call Xander and tell him not to pick me up."
"No!....I'll do that."
"Okay."
I gave myself a mental pat on the back as I ran down the stairs. My crises as Buffy and I passed them with flying colors. I was humming "We are the Champions" as I dialed my number. I was at the chorus when Anya answered the phone.
"Hello, Harris-Jenkins residence, soon to be just the Harris residence."
"Hi, Anya is Xander home?"
"Um, Yeah," she said, then her voice got real low, "but I have the sneaking suspicion that he's possessed.
*Uh-Oh!* "What makes you think that."
"Well...last night instead of giving me two hours of incredible sex
, he told me that he was sick. He NEVER turns me down for sex, even if he's sick! I thought he might be playing hard to get, so I started to lick his ear, but he freaked out and ran into the bathroom! He must have slept there all night because he never came back to bed.."
"Wow...Um...I don't know what to tell you, Anya. WE can do some research later, but for now can I speak to him?"
"Sure."
After muffled conversation in the background, Buffy finally picked up the the.
"Hey." She said.
"I can't believe you bailed on the Ear-Lick!" I said through clenched teeth. I love the Ear-lick! Now Anya wouldn't do it for months.
Buffy spoke really low when she responded. "Forgive me for not wanting to be part of your little sexcapades! Don't get on my case! You would believe the morning I had!"
"It could beat my morning! Look, we'll trade horror stories later. I just called to tell you not to pick up Dawn for school today. I'll walk her there. Don't try to drive here....or anywhere else for that matter."
"Fine! When and where do you want to meet? The Magic Box, maybe?"
"What are you crazy? We have to me some place neutral, not the Magic Box. The Sunnydale library, that'll be goo. We wouldn't see anyone we know there. Meet me there at 12:00 sharp.
"Okay, I'll see you then."
"Buffy," Dawn called, as I almost told Buffy to hold so I could hand Dawn the phone I knew it was going to be a long day.
"Yeah?" I called back.
"I'm ready to go." Dawn said as she got into the living room.
"Okay I said, then said into the phone "Gotta go. Bye 'Xander!' I hung up and then went to take "my sister" to school.
After dropping Dawn off at Sunnydale Junior High, I decided to drop by the Magic Box. I had a couple of hours to kill until I had to meet Buffy and to be honest I was missing Anya and I though that maybe I could smooth over any damage that Buffy might have caused.
As I walked into the stop I saw that she was bending over to fix a candle display.
*God, does she have a nice ass.* I though to myself as I sighed and felt a stirring in my soul. I'd call it a stirring in my loins by *my* loins were currently Under New Management at the moment.
Anya stood and looked at the door when the bell rang. She gave me a quick wave and a tiny smile and went back to what she was doing. I continued to watch as she picked up one of the candles and took it to the counter, admiring her graceful legs as she walked. I gazed as her cute, slim hands wrapped the candle for shipping. I lost myself in her pretty face as she continued to do her work.
"What brings you by Buffy" She said to me. It took a minute for me to come out of my daze and remember she was talking to me.
"Oh, I just wanted to talk to you about Xander." I said as I walked over to the counter. Anya came around to meet me with a look of worry on her face.
"Is he alright?" She asked. "Nothing else has happened, has it?"
I tried to ignore the scent of her perfume and the effect it was having on me as I answered.
"No....nothing's happened. It just that when we spoke on the phone this morning...."
"Oh, that." She said. "It was crazy Buffy! He really did spend the night in the bathroom! And he wouldn't let me take a shower with him either! It's as if he's trying to avoid having sex with me! Can you believe it" We're not even married yet. And I thought I was the one that was suppose to fake a headache or something!"
"Wow...um...that doesn't sound like Xander at all." I said.
"That's why I think he's possessed!" Anya said. You know what I think it doing it?"
"What?" I asked cautiously.
"Chastity Demons!" She said as she leaned on the counter. "Little prudish, boring, nerdy demons that don't like anybody to have any fun!"
"Oh..." I said. "....for a second there I thought you'd say...."
"Or BUNNIES!" She said. They've always had it in for me."
"Yeah...that." I said, then helped myself to a little more Anya-watching while she stared into space, contemplating the Bunnies' latest plot. I especially like the way her knee length skirt hugged her hips and thighs in all the rights. I was also appreciating the way her blouse fit just tight enough, with a couple of buttons opened to reveal the tiniest amount of cleavage....
"Whoa!" I said as Anya shook her shoulders, making herself jiggle. Her chuckle made me bring my attention back to her face.
"Caught ya looking!" She said between giggles. I felt my face flush and I stammered a little figuring my cover had been blown.
"I-its not what you think!" I said. it's just, that blouse...um...where did you get it?"
"She wasn't fooled. "Relax. I wouldn't tell anybody your secret."
"You won't?"
"Of course not. Actually, I appreciate the attention, I wish I could've gotten Xander to look at me like that this morning."
Suddenly I realized what she though the secret was..."Ohigod! Anya, wait! It's not like that at all!"
"Don't worry, Buffy. She said. "All of us get a little what's the word? Bi-curious once in awhile. Frankly, I'm surprised it took you this long. I figured with all the stimulation from the action and violence you'd be one big raging hormone! And living in the same house with Willow and all, while she's missing her honey...."
Suddenly I went to several scary but not-all-that unappealing visual places, and tried to think about Angel wearing a tutu.
"...I mean, you can't missed how beautiful Willow has turned out to be."
"Oh, I noticed." I said, and suddenly there was Willow-in-the-shower AGAIN!!
Then Anya got real close and said in a whisper: Don't tell anyone this, but there've been times when I've wanted to be in the same room with Willow and Tara just to see how sex works when the bodies don't interlock."
There was a wicked smile on her face, but I barely noticed it. My mind was stuck on the though of: *Willow and Tara...and Anya...together...oh my,,, Then a strange sensation in Buffy's body introduced me to what the "stirring of the loins meant for a girl.
"Uhm, Anya, I have to go.," I said, I had to get out of there before I made things worse. If this ever got back to Buffy she'd crucify me.
"Mum's...the word....hey, have you ever wondered why 'Mum' is the word for keeping a secret? Why can't 'Secret' be the only word for keeping a secret?"
"We'll work on that later Anya," I said with a nervous chuckle, then headed for the door.
"Wait! What about Xander?" She called after me.
"We'll work on that too!" I said without looking back.
"I decided that I should go see Buffy before I could screw anything else up. I walked to the construction site, trying to figure our in my head all the paychesk I'd have to spend making this up this day up to Buffy and Anya. When I got there I didn't see my body anywhere, but I did see my boss, Rico. I walked up to him and said: "Excuse me, I'm looking for Xander HArros."
"This is a hardhat zone miss." He said looking at the plans for the third floor.
"Sorry," I said. "Can you tell where he is?"
"Are you a friend of his?"
"Yes, I am Buffy Summers."
That's when he looked at me. The same Buffy Summer that tore up a section of the lobby that took us two week to get structurally sound?"
My mouth twitched into a weak smile as I said: "Guilty as charged" I guess no one else has forgotten my disastrous attempt to hire Buffy wither. "Have you see Xander or not?"
"I sent him home easrly."
"Why?"
"Apparently he's picking up you bad habits!" Rico said, then pointed towards the building.
The section of the third floor that I was supposed to be working on was nothing more than a pile of I-beams. Men were lifting them out using muscle and cranes, while others dug away sheetrock and cement rubble.
"Seems Mr. Harris got a brand-new -geez-whiz idea on how to weld supports together. Ending up melting a couple of welds off completely, and the falling supports took the whole section with 'em. No one was hurt, but the clean up and rebuild are gonna put us a month behind schedule."
Suddenly I was a lot less worried about Buffy would do to me than about how I was going to killing her with my bare hands.
"Is he fired?" I asked my voice cracking,
"Nah, but it's obvious he needs a break," Rico said. "What with getting married and all. I just had to get him outta here before he did any more damage!"
"Okay, thanks." I said before I left. As I walked around Sunnydale, I tried to fight the headache I felt coming on as I went in search of destructo girl. After checking my apartment to see if she stopped of there I went straight to the Library in hopes that Buffy was waiting for me.
I saw her standing in the front entrance waiting for me when I go there. I gave her my patented "You're Dead" look (which probably looked different on the "Buffy" face I now controlled but just as devastating) and we went inside. We looked around the library as we walked, checking out how big the place I thought to myself *Man, Giles would pee in his pants if he saw how many books are in this place* We found a secluded spot in the back of the library and sat down to talk.
"Buffy, this whole not-telling idea isn't working for me." I said.
"Well, it's no picnic for me either!" She said angrily.
"It was your idea remember! By the way thanks for almost getting me fired!"
"How did you find out about that?"
"I went by the site."
"So now you're checking up on me?!" Said a very upset Buffy.
"No! I was looking for you so we can talk."
"Look forget about work. We have more pressing matter to deal with, like finding the Revenge of the Nerds. "Now if you were a geek where would you be hiding?"
"I don't know.... a Comic Book Convention." I said sarcastically.
"Xander, this no time for jokes. We need to find them, because if I have to spend one more night with Anya while she tries to seduce me with whip cream and lingerie, I kill myself!"
"Maybe I can help," said a familiar voice I cringes, hoping to God that it wasn't who it sounded like I could tell by the look Buffy on my face that I could forget about that prayer being answered
I turned my head and looked up, and saw Tara looking right back at me
"Oh, hi Tara" I said managing a nervous smile
Her answer made the smile disappear. "Hi Xander. What's going on?"
Buffy tried to cover. "Hi, Tara but I think Buffy was talking to you."
"Then Tara smiled. "No, Buffy is talking to me now. What's going on?"
Buffy and I tried chuckling. It didn't help. "What are you talking about." I said.
Then Tara sat down. "So, you're saying you're not in Buffy's body and Buffy's not in you body and the big blond witch is just imagining the fact that you auras are in the wrong place? Is that what you are trying to tell me Xander? What's going on????"
I frowned and looked at Buffy. "For the record," I said, "I told you this wouldn't work!!!!
"Shut up Xander!!" She said crossly. "Okay, Tara its like this: Xander and I were on patrol when the three moron decided that they wanted a piece of me. Of course, I beat the crap out of them," Buffy said with my lopsided grin.
"Of course," said Tara.
"Then that little butt monkey Jerkathan pulls out a ray gun that Warren had brought with him and shoots it at us!"
"So the ray gun switched your minds?"
"Yeah, but I get the feeling that it was meant to do something else."
"Like what?"
"I have no clue. All I know is that Jonathan said that it didn't work that it was supposed to. Tara, do you think you can find a spell that will put us back unto our bodies?"
"I'll try."
Tara was about to leave when I said: "Remember: If you breathe a word about any of this, I will make your life a living hell."
"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me, 'Buffy' she said with a smirk.