Xander's New Costume

Author: Cute Kitsune Kaydee <banksw[at]bellsouth.net>

Disclaimer : "Here Disclaimer!" *Whistles* "C'mon boy!" *Claps hands now* "Come here Disclaimer!"

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and its characters do not belong to me, but Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Productions. The series this crosses over with does not belong to me.


Xander was about to leave the costume store when he saw the perfect costume.

Xander walked up to the store manager and said, "This is what I want, but the robe is missing."

Ethan looked at the costume and had a perverted idea.

"Let me go to the back and get it for you."

Ethan went to the back and took a small robe and cast an enlarging spell on it.

'This will be perfect.' he thought. 'The chaos that will flow. This will be totally unforgettable.'

He returned to the front and put the larger robe down.

"This is perfect." said Xander.

"I'm glad you like it." said Ethan. "It will be... interesting."

"Hey, how much for this?" asked Xander.

"That'll be two dollars." said Ethan.

"Cool!" exclaimed Xander, then paid the man.


Xander stood outside 1630 Revello Drive, waiting for the girls to answer the doorbell.

"Xander, come in."

Buffy stared at Xander and looked. "Xander, uhm what are you wearing?!"

Xander looked at his costume and said "It was the only thing I could afford now, you know."

"Oh." said Buffy, trying not to laugh now, but failing at it.

"It's not that bad really." said Xander.

"No, I suppose it's not." said Buffy.

"How do you like my costume my good sir?" Buffy asked while curtsying.

"Buffy! Lady of Buffdom, Duchess of Buffonia, I am in awe!"

Xander bowed down in front of her. "I have come to pledge my eternal allegiance."

Buffy stared at Xander and looked. "Why thank you, kind sir. But wait till you see... "

They turned to look up the stairs at Willow. She had put on a ghost sheet with 'BOO!' on the front in large bold letters.

"...Willow the friendly ghost."

Xander smiled and looked at his oldest friend. "Hey, Will! That's a fine boo you got there."


The three walked towards Sunnydale High School. Willow and Buffy were walking ahead talking to each other.

Xander tried to include himself in the conversation. "So, what's on the agenda for the womanly inclined?"

Buffy spun around with a sly grin. "The womanly inclined are talking of womanly things of which men have no business my good sir."

Xander flinched in mock pain. "Girl talk, got it."

Willow smiled. "You're darn tootin! Seeing, as we are women and all."

Xander decided to fall behind a couple more steps, as to keep out of the conversation for his own sanity.

Willow watched as he slowly got out of hearing range.

"So, do you think Angel will like your costume?"

Buffy smiled sweetly. "I hope so. I mean this is what he was into wasn't it? He'll like it wont he?"

"Oh, I'm sure he will. No man can resist Regular Buffy, or, or Lady Buffy."


Xander looked over at the general gathering in front of the school. It was crowded. Lots of people were there.

Larry came by dressed as a pirate and interrupted his musings.

"What are you dressed as Harris, lame ass. Hahahahahahaha."

"Larry, you realize that you are dressed like a pirate and that you are being very talkative about men's asses?"

Larry raised a fist then. He acted like he was going to hit him.

Xander flinched. Larry laughed in Xander's face and then left.


Snyder turned and pointed to a group of children idly playing in the front lawn. "This is your group, Summers. You will be paired up with Levinson. No need to speak to them. The last thing they need is your influence. Just bring them back in one piece and I won't expel you. Come with me Rosenburg."

Buffy knelt down to the kids. "Hi."

Snyder abruptly turned around. "Ah, ah!"


Xander stood at the front of his group.

"Ok kids, line up single file, and let me tell you a couple of things about this trick-or-treat business. Now on sleazing extra candy: tears are key. Tears will normally get you the double-bagger. You can also try the old 'you missed me' routine, but it's risky. Only go there for chocolate. Understood?"

A chorus of "Yes." Came from the group.


Willow watched her charges walk up to the door. A kid with a green monster mask was first in line. An elderly lady opened the door.


The lady looked into her empty candy bucket. "Oh, dear! Am I all out?"

The wind started to pick up for a split second. Grey clouds blocked the full moon. As soon as the wind died down, she looked back. "I could've sworn I had more candy."

The creature in the green mask tilted his head.

"I'm sorry mister monster," the woman bent down to eye level. "Maybe I..."

The green creature grabbed hold of the lady by the neck and began to choke her. Some of the other children screamed and run away.

Willow saw what was happening. "No! Let her go!"

She started to run up to the house when an identical red monster appeared. The green one let go of the lady, and then started to fight his red cousin. Willow ran up to them, when all of the sudden...


Willow fell to her knees, gasping for air.


Willow awoke on the front porch of Mrs. Sander's house. She felt a little cold and looked down at her body. She was clothed in the leather outfit she had changed into. 'What?'

She stood up to take in her surroundings. Everything was in total chaos. Monsters were looting. Demons were rampaging.


She ran off the porch not noticing her body lying still.

Across the street, a male figure strained to stand up right.

She ran up to it and somehow knew it was her old friend. "Xander! What? Is that you?"

The small shrunken and green-skinned being that was once Xander looked up at her and said "Mistaken you are. Xander my name is not. This is where?" while looking around there.

'Oh my god.' thought Willow. 'It's...'

Just as Willow was about to speak a scream was heard and Xander... er, whoever said "Attend to this I must."

The small green man went over to where Cordellia was being attacked and raised his hand and threw... something at the dog-boy. The dog-boy went flying through the air and landed in a heap. He whined pathetically.

"Master Yoda." said Willow catching up to him. "Was that the Force? Please tell me."

The small green man looked at her and said "Yoda my name is not. Hapoda my name is. The Force I use not. The Hentai I use."

Willow blinked and said "The Hentai?"

Hapoda looked at her and said "The Hentai all around us is. Surround us it does. Gives us power it does."

Hapoda then looked at Willow with a hungry look and jumped her.

"How did you touch me?!" asked Willow. "Wait, where are my bra and panties? ARRRGGGHHHH!"

"HOTCHA! SWEETO! HAA!" exclaimed Hapoda.


Back in his costume Ethan was thinking 'I wonder how that boy I sold Happosai's robe to is doing now?'