Xander's New Job

Author: Cute Kitsune Kaydee <fox1[at]colla.com>

Disclaimer : I do not own any of these series and they belong to whoever does.

Summary : Xander dies and gets a new job

Timeframe : Before the first season happens

Fusion : Yu Yu Hakusho

Crossovers : Ranma 1/2 - Gold Digger - Edge Guard - Devil Hunter Yohko - Ninja Scroll - Vampire Hunter D - Castlevania - Street Fighter - Rurouni Kenshin - Fatal Fury - Highlander - Sailor Moon - Tenchi Muyo - Slayers - Breath of Fire III - Wild Arms - Trigun - Harry Potter - Wheel Of Time

A.N. 1 : I'd like to thank Skyrocket for providing some better dialog for Xander and better descriptions of his actions and correcting grammar mistakes.

A.N. 2 : I'd like to thank Skyrocket for accepting the job as my beta reader -thank you.


Sunnydale, California
1:00 PM
February 22, 1994

Xander Harris was not having a good day. It wasn't the worst day he ever had. Far from that. What really sucked was that it was his - last - day. Even worse too. Today was his 13'th birthday. He had cut out on school to have some fun. And now look what happened to him on his birthday.

Yes, Xander's - DEAD -.

Xander floated above the food court of his hometown mall looking down on the scene. Below him dozens of people were gathered around a very familiar looking dark-haired teenage boy who was lying still in the wreckage of a hot dog stand. There were hot dogs on the floor.

Beside the stand there was an old lady who seemed to be sad about something. Although someone was looking over her the crowd seemed to be mostly interested in the teen.

'What the heck is going on?' he thought. Xander checked himself over and sure enough he was here and - not there -. Still not aware that he was floating above the mall's food court, Xander floated down to where the teen was and checked him over.

Black hair, Hawaiian shirt, loosetype pants, slightly pointed ears, some buck teeth, and a - Very - familiar face.

"Whoa! Ensign Harris to the bridge! Has Scotty been drinking on duty again? Because I think we've had a transporter accident!"

"Hey, excuse me?" Xander asked various people there. "Does anybody know about him?"

When the people didn't reply Xander shouted to the heavens.

"Why is everyone ignoring me, please pay some attention!!!" he yelled.

But he was still being ignored.

'@#$!%$#@!$#! it and the @$#^@$@$ horse it #@%$^@ rode in on!' he thought.

"Hey, %#%#% answer me %#%#^% already!" he shouted once again.

"Move it ya' jorks!" a loud voice said.

Xander turned around in time to see two mall security medics run through the crowd with a wheelbarrow. After parking the wheelbarrow nearby one went to check on the sad old lady while the other moved on to the teen. When the one who was looking at the sad old lady was done they both walked over to the teen.

'What the?' thought Xander. 'Why are they pushing a wheelbarrow around with them?'

"Th' por kid. Thes is messy. His body seemes most'ly unhurte but it luks like his 'eart is 'unctured. Kine o sad tha heed ge' 'illed tryn' ta stop ah mug'er. E'ell, 'ome on, leet's hur'ry up an 'et 'oing," said one of the men.

The other man stood there a moment trying to figure out what his companion said then nodded. 'Why did I have to be partnered with the strange talking foreigner?' he thought.

They loaded him onto the wheelbarrow and walked over to the mall's front entrance where an ambulance was just arriving.

Xander followed them over to the vehicle while the crowd thinned out. He thought he should go too but for some reason Xander just had to know why that other guy looked like him.

"Hey you two, aren't you going to at least see who he is?" asked Xander.

When they had loaded the teen into the ambulance they left and the ambulance medic people took it from there. One went up to the front while the other began searching the guy's pockets. After the first person came back he handed the second guy a sheet of paper while the second medic was looking in the wallet for an id card.

"Ah, found it now, Dick." said Jeremy.

"Well, who is he?" Dick asked.

"Well this says his name was Alexander Harris," Jeremy replied. "Date of birth February 22, 1981. Age 13. Damn I hate it when they die this young. Hey, today was his birthday. Man, that sucks."

Xander stood behind the two medics, unable to move.

'What the did they just say now?' he thought, quite stunned.

Xander just stood there trying to understand what was going on. He remembered he had been walking on the upper level of the mall and a guy had stolen an old lady's purse. He had tackled the guy and then he hit him but the guy hit him back and used a knife that he had there. Xander screamed as the knife went into his heart and used his last strength to kick him, knocking him out, but then he passed out and quietly fell backward over the railing. Then there was just nothing. Darkness and cold.

"Hmmm, it says here he's a were-rat." said Jeremy.

"Why didn't he revive then?" asked Dick.

"The knife the mugger used was silver coated." said Jeremy.

"Damn." said Dick

'Silver.' Xander thought with dread.

Xander stood there blinking now. He couldn't have heard correctly. He spaced out for awhile. Then he came too.

He looked around and they were gone. By then he had seen plenty of people walk right through him which only confirmed his suspicion, and also freaked him out a great deal, his hair standing up.

"Hey you, this is a no walking through Xander zone! Can't you read the sign?" he said as a fat man walked through him.

"Aw no, not you too." Xander said as a seeing eye dog, leading a blind man, piddled through his leg.

"So, that's it? I'm killed by a mugger? A mugger! Me, the heir of the Harris school of Anything-Goes Martial Arts, and it was a lousy mugger with a silver coated knife that got me! Why'd it %#%# have to be a @$$%% common everyday mugger?" he asked the heavens in a sad tone. "If I had to #%%% get killed by a @%@$ fight why couldn't @$@% it have at least been a @%%%% cool fight like pop's cousin Ranma had with Prince Herb and Saffron!? Hmmm, Ranma lived through his fights. Why couldn't I #$#% have? And @@%% now #%#% look at me! This %#%%# really #^#^^$@ sucks! I'm a @%#^^ ghost! Now I suppose the #^#^^#^ grim reaper will be ####^ showing up to carry me off to the @#@^^@ afterlife!"

"Bingo!" said a cheerful voice.

Xander was so surprised he let out a small shout before jumping into the air. Of course since he was a ghost, Xander just floated up there and looked around the ground for who had spoken to him. But there was just the usual amount of people walking around.

"Well, Xander, I didn't expect you to be so jumpy." the voice said from behind him again.

He turned around to see one thing he definitely wasn't expecting. There was a blue haired cute teenage girl in a pink kimono sitting on an oar and chuckling to herself. A very sexy, hot girl.

"Who the #@%&^$ @$&@^$ are you?!" he asked.

"I also hoped you wouldn't have as foul a mouth as your mother." she said.

"Sorry. I'm having a stressful day and I curse when I'm stressed." said Xander.

Xander blinks. "You know my mother then?"

"I know of her though. But then who doesn't know of the famous Lydia McKraken-Harris? Sorry about frightening you like that but it's usually better to wait until people figure out that they're dead than just showing up and telling them. Now then, let's get down to business shall we?" said the cute girl with a pretty smile .

Xander stared at the girl.

"Hello?" the girl said waving her hand in front of his face.

Xander kept staring and he was drooling.

"What are you looking at?" asked the girl.

"Are you aware the front of your kimono is loose?" asked Xander.

The girl looked down at her kimono, back at Xander, and down at her kimono then blushed.

She quickly closed the front of her kimono and got an angry expression.

She hopped off of her oar and hit Xander upside the side of his head with it.



Elsewhere Sailor Pluto was standing in front of the Gates of Time.

"All is proceeding according to plan." she said while smiling.

Next to her a purple-haired man then said, "I shall wait awhile before giving him my surprise."

She arched an eyebrow at him. "And what is your surprise again?" she asked kinda curious.

The man looked at her, closed his eyes, smiled and said, "That is a secret my dear one."

She looked at him and then lunged forward. The two wound up on the floor. They then proceeded to remove the clothing off of each other. What followed was wild, passionate, and involved lots of moaning.

To Be Continued ...